Narcissistic Abuse Documentary
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- Опубликовано: 5 ноя 2019
- NOTE TO RUclips STAFF: Warning of potential copyright claim abuse. This documentary was produced with the help of TheDML/Just Another Label. This company has provided music for this documentary and has granted permission for usage in this film. A person within this company has threatened to file for a copyright claim, after we split up romantically. In case of a report, it is important to know that this is a personal attack, and no true infringement. I have evidence to prove that there is no truth to any claims. For more information on this type of abuse, watch this video:
'Surviving Narcissists and Psychopaths,' documentary about Narcissistic Abuse, 2019
This documentary focusses on the survivors of narcissists and psychopaths, and what it is like to be in a relationship with them. It discusses confusion, gaslighting, health issues because of the trauma, and why it is so difficult to pull away from these type of relationships.
Experts on the subject who are featured in this documentary are: Sam Vaknin, Jan Storms and Mjon van Oers. Sam Vaknin and Mjon van Oers (in dutch) have written books about narcissists. Jan Storms, as a specialist on psychopathy, has written a book about (destructive) relationships with a psychopath, which is soon to be released in english as well.
Produced by Aletta Meijer, with the help of Femi Olasehinde.
The hardest part about being a victim of narc abuse is that it becomes difficult to trust even the genuinely good people you meet later on in life.
That’s so true
Agreed!
Amen
16 years later I cannot trust to be alone with any man, no way, same with friends see red flags with them too
I am just now learning about the narcissism of a manager, experimenting with Gray Rocking and seeing the predicted results in real time... and it's like waking up in an alternate reality where everyone I encounter might be somewhere on the spectrum, and narcissistically jockeying for their supply. And then asking myself if I am being narcissistic by Gray Rocking my manager. What head trip.
They don't love you... they love that you love them
:(
Oh my god I just said the exact same thing to my friend today about one that has ensnared me over a 13 year period. Wow 👀 finally free but in shock, hasn’t noticed as I’d been so absorbed in the trauma of an abusive childhood and trying to recover. My god I’m terrified of how vulnerable I am.
Very well said!!! Thank you!!
Same here...I said exactly the same words to him...in his face. It‘s crazy when u feel that: It‘s just a mirroring effect.
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After many years of abuse, I have realized that every accusation of theirs was a confession.
Wow..
Spot on my friend. I'm happy that you realized the reality of the situation. 💜
I’m glad you shared this. Can I ask for clarity to what you mean every accusation it was a confession ? I wonder why my ex told the courts I molested my daughter. Luckily she was never left with him so he could not have molested her but makes me wonder did he moleste someone or someone moleste him when he was younger ? Why would he do that ? To break down the family unit? Or as a confession ?
Yes
That is SO true!!!
"If i start to feel small I know I'm with a narcissistic person." What a great peice of advice. Thank you!!!
wow!! I'll remember that! I know that feeling and I couldn't put words on it! Thank you!
Piece 😘😘
Although i agree, that doesnt indicate youre always with a narc person though. Dealing with Anxiety can make you feel small when youre around just about anybody
Im tempted to say if you dont feel like you really exist as a person, only as a provider of attention, then you are with a narcissist.
Yeah. It’s not something wrong with you or anything to allow another person to make you feel a way about yourself.
Right.
Blame all your problems on other people, honey.
You have to experience it to be able to truly understand it.
That is truth
DJ DADDJ yep I just left it after 20 years .he was very cunning .
Ye.. its soul death..
I agree... I stayed married for 16 years to someone who always put me down and blamed EVERYTHING on me. I am 2 and a half years out and I still am recovering from this type of treatment. In the last year I have started to get back to who I am... my friends tell me they saw it for years how unhappy I was and how much I changed when I was with him. They know how to mess with you deep down. I could go on and go on... I now can see all that damage he did and recovering still. I am gaining my self worth back and I don't question myself so much.
Yup. .it Drains you and slowly leaves you so empty..
this is oxygen to me as I sit here crying in a women's shelter. I hope the entire world sees this.
I just came out of a women's shelter...for the same reasons. Trust me, you're going to be okay...
Your gonna be okay, you MUST GO NO CONTACT... 4 YEARS for me, best thing I ever did, took me 7 times . Don't stay so long.get out
Any place is better than where you were ❤️stay strong and don’t look back!! I did it 5 months ago after a 17 yr hell I’m living for the first time since I was 20! You can do this 🦋🦋🦋🦋
You were strong enough to leave. Be proud of yourself.
@@ladyowl9187 thank you, I truly appreciate it.
Those who have not experienced narcissistic abuse will never understand this kind of hell
Seeing abused people being healed & smiling again feels good.
Yes it does! Never go back!
Trying to explain the abuse and gaslighting to people who have only ever seen the smiles and sweetness is such a struggle. They can’t imagine how destructive it really is.
They will never trust you unless they will not see it too - and they will see once. N needs supply of the "energy".
You don’t need to explain anything to anyone. If you’re in a bad relationship, you leave. It’s not other people’s business
Exactly, and if we try to explain we’re seen as problematic people who must be the main trigger for our situation.
Pls read up on this'll tell u 💯 about how it is n that's just a little part of it 4 real
@@joycemcqueen2542 truth!
The narcissist is so sick that they will make YOU seek therapy.
Not me. I divorced his ass.
Yep. Had that occur I told him he needed therapy and to go fuck himself.
Shit! They're soulsuckers and can suck a person's will to live. And enjoy that.
It’s the worst thing that can ever happen to you, it can affect you emotionally and mentally it’ll leave you scars that won’t heal.
@@tonika7543 all those scars can be healed and turned in to strength and wisdom 💖
This cruelty should be considered a crime, because it ruins the victim’s self and life.
It sounds like narcissists literally hurt people so badly until it can actually become deadly. It hurts people so horribly.
U aint kidding
Yes, my house has been broken into, illegal surveillance, stalking 24/7, and non stop harassment of my family and friends as they're being told what to say and do.
@@KatyYoder-cq1kc That’s horrible and something needs to be done about it to protect you.
It is death by a thousand cuts. I have many debilitating physical ailments from the chronic stress & lack of sleep 💔
I tried to kill myself to get away from my husband. He's DEAD now. But I am dealing with the emotional aftermath turmoil it has left me in. 😵💫😵💫😵💫
A good person will Never pretend be a bad person
But
A bad person Will pretend to be a good person
🎯
I hear what you mean, but as I get older, I do try to hide good traits unless I am around trusted people because certain people with bad intentions are looking for good people. If you just seem neutral, they move on.. so yeah I guess I'm not pretending to be a bad person hahaha just trying to not be noticed as "good" until I know someone
Excellent quote!
Wise words...& You're exactly right because our empathy makes us damage our own selves if we deliberately cause harm to a innocent person, that's what makes us a "good person"🙂.
Not true. The only way to get rid of bad people is to do bad things to them. And even when you not a bad person. Its the only thing that works to get rid of them.
Please, my fellow victims, understand that the reason you attracted a narcissist is because you are on a path of learning to love yourself so strongly that you will become unshakable.
This! I believe 100%. As I am building myself from scratch through the grace of God better than ever. Self love is the best love.
❤ Yes! So true! ❤
I want to believe that.
Amen! The words of a healed warrior
@@candaceharris3675 believe it! It’s true! You will find more and more joy the longer you are away/no-contact. It takes will.. and EDUCATE everyday! Knowledge is power!
“They show you the monster when they already have you” 🎯
I have been married for twenty years, and I just recently realized that my husband is a narcissist. I felt like I was the only one in my situation, until I saw another video about narcissistic and emotional abuse! It makes me wonder how many people are hidden inside their homes not knowing they are being abused!
I'm right with you 17 years. After I got gaslight in front of my best friend, that I maybe see once in every 5 years. That did it for me. She turned into the victim and I was the bad guy. 17 years of instant rage out of left field, aggressive driving, can't have a decent conversation without turning into an argument, cursing and yelling at me, controlling on what we do, her way or no way, just to name a few. I tried leaving 4 times and came back, now I'm done. Called a lawyer and getting ready to start the process. I'm proud of you!
I became of two female narcs ..My childhood was very very very traumatic
A narcissist enters like a needle, and spreads quietly like a cancer
You’re right it’s such an insidious disorder and way too many beautiful people are being affected by them, I was 26 years married and was only able to see in hindsight how bad it was
@@justinekelly7137 same here 17 years! I think back and realize my spouse said things about me that I would never in my wildest dreams would say about a person who you says they "Love You".
Narcissist is a nice name for a person full of demons. They enjoy seeing you hurt.
A narcissist takes pleasure in your pain.
This the one! 💯
Yes, and when you are down or sick, they will kick you even harder!
Someone once said “learning about narcissists is like becoming a demonologist”
And will say everyone else is like that...
I am so happy they included a man into this documentary, so often men are demonized as the only ones able to abuse, which makes it even harder for men to get help.
On One evening of October 2019 I was down with a severe fever and I couldn't give my time of the day to her like I always used to. She was at her home and I text her told her that I was at the doctor getting my medicines prescribed. I sent her a photo of the prescription. She acts up , but what takes the cake was what came next. She goes on to sext some random guy on the internet and then sends me screenshots of her sexts with this guy ,all while I'm writhing with fever in bed. 😶
@@brandonpinto5290
They are sadistic dillusional.
I just dumped the a so called friend who turned out to be the wicked witch of the West. No kidding.....bc Canada.
I'm so glad to be rid of someone that has her own freak show with her family.
BLESSINGS
@@brandonpinto5290 Holy crap, some people are so sick. I'm glad you got away.
The patriachy indirectly protects female narcissists as much as it protects male ones. That men can't show weakness or be "victims" and that women are not perpetrators means people don't believe men. They are dangerous as most are covert and their public facade well built.
Yes he is Adorable i noticed him
"Abuse felt like such a strong word, even when it became physical." Heartbreaking.
Narcissists , besides psychopats are the only type of people who would intentionally try to hurt you with absolutely ZERO remorse. Saddistic
The word 'Sorry," seems to not exist in their vocabulary. If it is, it only to further their destruction of your self esteem.
Narcs NEVER admit when they are wrong
Never!
They’re never wrong 😑
They cannot. It’s impossible for them. And that makes me nauseated.
Yes!
This is what confuses me because normally he doesn’t but now that I told him he has 30 days to move out I’m done he’s back to love bombing and hoovering. He’s saying how he knows he was the one who has been wrong and seeming sincere. Is this all an act as well?
"Narcissists rely on you not relying on yourself." Probably one of the wisest and truest things I've ever heard about narcissism, holy shit.
I thought the same thing. It defines it perfectly.. words so simple yet so complicated.
They also sabotage attempts to rely on oneself, which isn't strategically difficult in an "every little peon is a rival to please the bosses better" socioeconomic system. That is probably usually a bigger deal to the extent that there is an initial clout difference, like when a narcissistic parent singles out a kid for ruin or when the narcissist has a lot of money or connections, but fixation on strategy plays a role too.
One of the most memorable things my father has told me after a beating when I was a kid was "you did that to yourself". The cult of self-reliance carries its own baggage as a tool of abuse.
Trust your instincts before they destroy them.
undermine your confidence and strip you of your unique identity, destroy your health and credibility, avoid being held accountable for anything, explosive dramatics,- They will parrot you, as they have no original thoughts, and steal the credit. narcissists have an instinct for the attention-deprived. They come to the rescue, feel they own you, when they pillage your life, they feel justified, righteous- if you protest they will rise up like a biblical apocalypse and scheme to ruin you socially. Been there, in survival mode, being marginalized, led me to being a pioneer in many areas, naturally, I gravitated towards the practice of social distancing over a decade ago. Peace.
My narcissist would flip out if I wouldn’t let him help me. It was you think you are all that with your lips perched out acting like your all that.
Whoever is going through this you aren't alone, they want to break you because they see qualities in you that they can't posses like love and empathy, they are predators. Listen to your body and get out, don't let them change you ❤
HWAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU CANT GET OUT DUE TO NO WERE TO GO NO MONEY NO MEANS OF DOING NOTHING OR NOONE FRFR AND WHEN I SAY NOONE I MEAN NOT A DAMN SOUL BECAUSE OF THE LIES AND HATRED THAT YOU HAVE PUT ON OTHERS BECAUSE OF THE NARC CONVINCING YOU THAT THEY ARE UP TO NO GUD AND THAT YOU SHOULD WALK AWAY FROM THEM AND STAY AT HOME.?
It’s all about control, not love. It is heartbreaking how well it is disguised literally behind the most beautiful love
Love bombing, gaslighting, devaluation, discard, hoovering, repeat = Typical covert narcicistic abuse! #Redflags
It's such a giant joke looking back. The constant critisism and gaslighting. Like how do these people even come up with this?
20 years of marriage. my doctor made me leave him. she kept telling me he was killing me. Divorcing was even worse. Ended with poverty and shame from his lies about me. 5 years NO CONTACT !!! and i am joyful again!!! my diary helped me to realize how weird and bad he was. keep a diary!
Most people don't talk about the continued psychological trauma when you leave and share kids with them. Sometimes it doesn't just end, because you can't go no contact when you coparent.
Hey Jill, I'm glad your finding yourself. That's exactly what I do keep a diary. Last time I left him my whole family made me convinced I was over exaggerating ever thing. That's after me trying myself to fix everything for 4 years now I'm documenting it so the next I get that courage again,, I would never doubt myself. Enjoy your life, forgive yourself. Don't care about shame, cause these people weren't there when you were suffering. Who cares what the believe. Sending you all the best wishes
Your doctor did not make you leave him. You made a choice - a highly intelligent choice - to leave him 💖 Please remember to own your decisions & to expect that others will respect your choices. You've got this!
highly recommended!
22 years married, ten years divorced with no contact, he sucked me in to help care for family. Tried to isolate and control again! NO WAY! Now that we know, we have to be vigilant to keep NO CONTACT. I'm sorry you had to go through this...
It's terrifying to realize one day you fell in love with someone who doesn't even really exist.
Control freaks with no self control.
It’s so hard to let go of this mirage. I feel like I’ll never love again but the person I fell in love with never existed, this perfect person was never real. God help me.
Excellent way to put it!
@@pumakel1 yes you fell in love with a fantasy. Sad but so true. It took me 20 years to realize I am not the problem or crazy they are.
For me that was the first man I saw, when I opened my eyes and looked at him just after I was born - MY FATHER.
ONE OF US FINALLY HAS TO DIE FOR THIS TO END.
Well personally I recognized the change in personality and realized it was only going to get worse and left and other people were weird about that as if I should be more broken hearted etc than I was and I tried to explain it was over for me before I actually left if you are going to be physically assaulting me and degrading me emotionally don't expect me to grieve much over you.
My ex narcissist actually told me "People like me more than they like you" (this was after his smear campaign behind my back to everyone we knew).
My response must've actually come to me through intuition, because my response was "That's because they don't really know you"
It was gaslight city after that. I know it was wrong but I still get great satisfaction from remembering how I backed him up against the wall and threatened to cut his tongue out after 20 years of his abuse.
Those big eyes full of fear and him backed up against the wall. The coward knew he'd gone too darn far that time. I left him soon after that.
Life is so stress free now. Once you lived in the hell of a narcissist, things as small as hearing the birds sing and watching the sun rise are stunningly beautiful.
My soul is lit! 😊❤️
This is my wish for everyone who has suffered narcissistic abuse. You are more special than you know and you are worthy and very loved. ❤️
You sound exactly like a disgusting narcissist... How curious. 😏
My goodness... My ex used to say something similar "Everyone loves me" - out of nowhere - it was not even relevant to our conversation. He had no answer when I asked why he was even saying that?? 😂
He tells me people thinks Im nice but im pure evil
Started out as my soul mate. Turned into my worst nightmare.
They are great actors. The first act: The perfect lover like in disney-movies. And the last act: The devil in person. They wear many masks. Most times you have the hell - only in the beginning there seems to be light (but it is all a fake-show to lure you in and use your abilities)...
It took him 20 years, to show me his real self...I was flabberguested..took me 6 month to understand what happened
@@dianaberkenpeis6568 I can relate. It is really horrific when the mask comes down. You need time to process and time to heal. And the most important: Forgive yourself and love yourself! We earn better!
I honestly thought I was smart enough to never become dependent...won't make that mistake again. Wish u well❤❤end be strong
@@dianaberkenpeis6568 Yeah that is what I learned also. I just trusted the wrong person. Sadly!
If you haven't been through it, you'll never understand.
I don't understand how it feels.
There are people who went through it
*as children* . As they have narc ‘rents
I've been through it so much I don't understand how anyone hasn't encountered it in America since they're in every place I've ever been in California.
Exactly!!!!💔😭
@Jinn Jinn exactly, I've been told, "you're too sensitive, that's not abuse, your mom is just strict, you're being a brat" They completely dismiss years of trauma all of my life, and they have never experienced it themselves. It's not easy to leave, it never will be, I haven't left yet because I depend on my parents financially.
When the devil can't reach you, he sends a narcissist. This documentary made me extremely emotional as my disgusting "relationship" was explained.
Well said 💯 spot on
Nothing worst than dating a Narcissist that is in the process in converting themselves in a Satanist... :( GOD is BIG.. as he rescued me! YES! How can it be that I still have that strong BOND and it upsets me, but thank GOD.. for his commands and mercy.. Must love God above all!! Above all! This is an earthly bond/love... God's love is more beautiful in all ways. :) Amen.
Ya first seeing this I understood what had happened in my life ,Im sorry and sad I probably never trust and know real love ,leaves me in a dark place.
Me too
I don't believe in the devil but they are devils on earth ! and they know how to choose their preys, they are always with nice and emotional people. Anyway two narcissists will not last long together !
“I stepped over so many of my feelings because they triggered my empathy” this hit hard
Being with my ex narc for the past 6 yrs. made me observe this very pattern. I think they wanted to feel very important in a way that is disturbing. Instead of building trust with their intimate partners, they destroy the trust that they built with you (in that case lying when they tried to put you in their pedestal). Once they have a committed partner, they can’t stand being loved authentically by one person. Instead they go on and prey on other women that is susceptible to their love bombing. My ex narc was a compulsive pursuer in a relationship. He would go back and forth to the women he were involved before or try to meet women in complicated situation so that going public isn’t an option while having you as their main supply. In the end they destroy the very person that loved them. They are like toddlers testing your love for them. Showing and telling them you love them isn’t enough, they will cheat on your face to make you feel inadequate even if you are more than they deserve. They want to test your love for them so they keep hurting you and when you have enough of their abuse, you leave. Then they tell you, ‘you never loved me because you abandon me’. Well in fact it’s their actions and narcissistic behavior that made you leave or in other cases they discard you and will give silly reasons of the discard. Mine would use, ‘she’s crazy’, ‘she’s a nega-star’, ‘she insults me’, ‘she cheated on me’ et al. So with this pattern of infidelities and emotional abuse (who knows what else) it’s better to walk away. I did walk away and is now rebuilding my life with our daughter. We are struggling financially because I’m not earning enough to provide for my daughter but now we get to laugh and bring with us sunshine every day. No lies, no abuse and no fake love. We only live once, forgive yourself and move forward but never forget the lesson that narc abuse taught you. That is to respect yourself to walk away from what’s hurting and destroying you. That you deserve a life of solitude, happiness and love. Hugs*** :) Additionally I hired a private detective *Metaspyhub@gmail. com.* Once I knew what the narc was up to, it got easier to get over that lying, cheating, sack of doo doo, loser. I didn’t need closure from the narc, I paid for it. Best money I EVER spent!
was it worth writing all this just to promote your fucking business? i’m seeing more than 2 comments now like this
"Love makes your brain grow, fear makes it shrink" - BEAUTIFUL
Ever since I left my narcissist father & dysfunctional family, my brain has bin growing loads, I’m so glad I left
@Lisa ggyyyg😫🥂🥂😫😍😫😍🥂😫🥂🥂🥂🥂🥂😫🐷🐷🐷🐷🐷🐷😫🥂😍😫😍😫😍😍🥂😍😫😫🥂🐷🥂😍🥂🐷😫🐷🥂🥂🥂🥂😍😍🐷🥂🥂😍😍🥂😍🥂🥂😍🥂🥂🥂🥂🐷🐷🐷🐷🐷🐷😫🥂🥂🥂🥂😍🥂🥂🥂🥂😍😍🐷🥂😍🥂🥂😫🥂🥂😍🥂😍🐷😫😍🥂🐷🐷😍🥂🥂😫😍😍😍😫🥂🥂😫🐷🐷🐷🐷🐷👏😍🐷👏🐷🥂🥂🐷👏🥂🥂🐷🐷🥂🥂🥂🥂🥂🐷🥂🥂🥂🐷🐷👏🏽🥂🥂🥂🥂🥂🥂🥂🐷🐷🐷🐷🐷🐷🐷🐷🐷🥂🥂🥂🥂🥂🥂🥂🥂🥂👏🏽🥂🐷🥂🥂🥂🥂🥂🥂🥂🥂🥂🥂🥂🥂🥂🥂🥂🥂🐷🥂👏🏽🥂🥂🥂🥂🥂🥂👏🏽🥂🥂🥂🥂🥂🥂🥂🥂👏🏽🐷🐷🐷👏🏽🥂👏🏽🥂🐷🥂🥂🥂👏🏽🥂🥂👏🏽🥂👏🏽👏🏽🥂🥂🥂🥂🥂🥂🥂🥂🥂🥂🥂🥂🐷🥂🥂🥂👏🏽🥂🥂🥂👏🏽👏🏽🥂🥂🥂🥂🥂🥂🥂🥂🥂🥂👏🏽🥂🥂🥂🥂🥂🥂👏🏾🥂👏🏾🥂🥂🥂🥂👏🏾🥂🥂🥂👏🏾🥂🥂🥂🥂🥂🥂👏🏾🥂👏🏾🥂🥂🥂🥂🥂👏🏾🥂👏🏾🐷🐷🐷🐷🐷🐷🐷🐷🤪🥂🥂🤪🐷🥂🥂🥂🥂🥂🥂🥂🤪🤣🥂👏🏾🐷🐷🐷🐷🐷🐷🐷🐷🐷🐷🐷🥂👏🏾🐷🐷🐷🥂🥂🥂🥂🥂🥂👏🏽🥂🥂🥂🥂👏🏽🥂🥂🥂🐷🥂🥂🥂🥂🥂🥂👏🏽🥂🥂🥂🥂👏🏽🥂🥂🥂🥂🥂🐷🥂🥂🥂🥂👏🏽
@Lisa huuubuhuhujuubuuuhuhu
This statement is so profound!! She could not have said it any better
Besides the metaphorical aspect, how do they know this to be true?
if you come from an abusive background, it isn't that you are attracted to an abusive person, it is just that you will have a high tolerance for abuse because that is normal to you and you will make excuses for the abuse whereas someone who grew up in a healthy environment will not have the same tolerance for abuse and will leave.
Very well said. Absolutely true.
This isn't necessarily true. I had a good childhood, I never heard my parents or grandparents screaming or arguing or degrading each other and I ended up in 2 narcissistic relationships(I think the last one had BPD) the 1st was a 9 year relationship with 1 child and the 2nd was over a year and a half. I'm empathic, always see the best in people and believe they are decent, boy was was I ever wrong.
@@bellarose6501 Her situation didnt apply to you though she was talking about those who went through abuse in their childhood
Fortunately I wanted the opposite with what I grew up with. I have no tolerance for abuse, I never want to experience what I went through as a child ever again. Must add my younger sister thought it was normal and she must stick it out with her abusive husband because that is how we were raised. I had to convince her that is nonsense. After 20 years of marriage she eventually divorced the creep.
@Hélia Alves I never said it was a choice for all, read my comment again, it was a conscious choice for me. From a very young age I decided I will look for something else in a relationship or not be in one at all. I was a very observing child and at 10/11 I begged my parents to get a divorce because I wanted it all to stop. They loved each other but the abuse was bad. If my dad and mom were not at each others throats my mom abused me during their happy periods. There was an actual pattern. I got married much later than my siblings and I looked for the opposite in a partner than what my parents were.
my father is a narcissist. his anger, ridiculous pride, mocking EVERY single person he meets behind their back, making you walk on eggshell... so accurate.
It drained my energy and i am recovering from burnout. i thought i should forgive him and contact him, but this video seems like a sign telling me i can forgive and not contact.
To describe narcissists and psychopaths as damaged little children seems intended to generate the sympathy they do not deserve.9
Definitely don't contact him. Don't let the narcissist back in because guess what? Nothing has changed.
Without trying to advertise myself, I have made a video about forgiving the narcissist that you may find of interest. In short, NEVER forgive the narcissist.
@AnneBurns-pv6xc I dont think its excusing the way they act, just a sort of explanation. The way I see it, I am sorry they were abused but it doesn't give them the right to hurt others nd refuse to heal. They are brain damaged, but ots not ok to victimize others just because you were once a victim. Just in my own case I was raised in an emotionally abusive home, but I will not stay unhealed and pass that on to my children.
Do not!
“Narcissists rely on you not relying on yourself.”
Oof! Bingo!!
Very, very well observed & said. It felt good to hear that 👍
🎯
The worst thing about narcissist abuse is it's abuse you can't see. There's no visible bruises or scars. No one except another victim would understand. You try and explain it to someone who doesn't know and they just don't get it. At age 20 I was in a physically abusive relationship and the guy ended up in jail. I met my narcissist at 28 and I dont care how screwed up this sounds, but I'd straight take being beaten 20 times over than the abuse of a narcissist. They literally make you go crazy and cross every wire in your brain and when you finally escape them they tourment you beyond belief. When your try and defend yourself you look crazy because they've masterfully manipulated everyone against you because they're always 2 steps ahead. I think these people are demonic, evil is coursing through their blood streams!
So well seid. Iv been so depressed wondering why every friend and lover iv had has hurt me. And made me feel it was all my fault. Now I'm realizing that I'm attracted to them because I was brought up to feel bad about myself since a toddler. So iv been attracted to what I know best.. but not anymore. 🙏😔❤️☮️🌅🌄
@@meljc2823 I'll pray for you girl. Life is hard sometimes. I've been doing counseling and realized I have toxic traits myself. I'm extremely co-dependant and always latched to whoever came along. The red flags for my narc were there from the beginning. I chose to ignore them just so I had somebody there. At least you recognize the source problem of why you end up in those relationships. Keep working on yourself and eventually when you are healthy, you will attract someone who is healthy too.
They operate from the seven deadly. Thery refuse reproach. They refuse to self reflect. They live of the lie. There is no compromise, understanding, resolve, or progress. When trying to reason with them, the conversation always veers off into vicious crazy circles of pure nonsense. All this, and I could add more, is exactly the traits and nature of a demon. No joke. The exact way of dealing with a demon. Oppressive, destructive, un- progressing, anti-life, etc. After all Satan is the original narcissist. He is the father of lies and they are his people. People of the lie. Straight out!
@parka beawwwer, this is one of the best explanations I've heard. I totally agree with you
@@snoopy-mf7nv 🔥🔥🔥
I want to cry for everyone in this documentary. I've lived it too. Currently no contact but struggling to overcome the trauma bond. No one knows until they've lived it, no one else understands
It’s 4 months later... i hope you are thriving ♥️
@@cherbeware7421 You won't die. You will if you go back. I'm financially trapped. If I could leave and never think of him again. My trauma bond has almost gotten me killed. How would our families feel if we let these demons take our lives. Pray. Ill pray for you too. Your strong enough to get through this. Write a book about your survival one day. 🌹
So true , that’s legit what I just said while watching this and commenting. It makes it so much more difficult to process , deal with and to try and escape & overcome it for that reason. If you try and explain to most people it will come off as either dramatic or maybe even like your the crazy one and they will fail to understand and will doubt the severity of the abuse and how crucial the reality of this literal crisis is. I isolated from everyone in my life and stopped doing all the things that made me happy or I loved doing to avoid being a burden on other and upsetting her. There I was a once confident , successful , popular and decent looking man in his 20’s whose 6’5 230lbs and yet I was living a life ruled by fear like a hostage and dealing with constant pain,suffering and never ending abuse from what appeared to be a gorgeous looking nice acting seemingly innocent woman that was petite and no more than 5’7. Yet I still stuck around and kept giving her all of my energy and being her victim as I handed her a decade of my life living in literal hell on earth where the devil is also actually your roommate and in your bed and every aspect of your life ensuring your never content , happy or too confident , successful or ,comfortable by saying or doing whatever was required to strip you of those positive states the instant the feel your in them... I am so sorry you also had to endure such pain and suffering and I pray you stay strong and find peace and happiness, I am only a little over a month removed and I somehow still go through phases of wanting to go back to her and assume the blame and I battle deep depressions and anxiety over it also. Other times I feel ok and just present which reminds me that i am finally somewhat ‘FREE’ which I haven’t been In Over a decade and reminds me why I need to move on and give myself enough time to heal...
god bless you and I pray that you encounter the love you deserve
So true , that’s legit what I just said while watching this and commenting. It makes it so much more difficult to process , deal with and to try and escape & overcome it for that reason. If you try and explain to most people it will come off as either dramatic or maybe even like your the crazy one and they will fail to understand and will doubt the severity of the abuse and how crucial the reality of this literal crisis is. I isolated from everyone in my life and stopped doing all the things that made me happy or I loved doing to avoid being a burden on other and upsetting her. There I was a once confident , successful , popular and decent looking man in his 20’s whose 6’5 230lbs and yet I was living a life ruled by fear like a hostage and dealing with constant pain,suffering and never ending abuse from what appeared to be a gorgeous looking nice acting seemingly innocent woman that was petite and no more than 5’7. Yet I still stuck around and kept giving her all of my energy and being her victim as I handed her a decade of my life living in literal hell on earth where the devil is also actually your roommate and in your bed and every aspect of your life ensuring your never content , happy or too confident , successful or ,comfortable by saying or doing whatever was required to strip you of those positive states the instant the feel your in them... I am so sorry you also had to endure such pain and suffering and I pray you stay strong and find peace and happiness, I am only a little over a month removed and I somehow still go through phases of wanting to go back to her and assume the blame and I battle deep depressions and anxiety over it also. Other times I feel ok and just present which reminds me that i am finally somewhat ‘FREE’ which I haven’t been In Over a decade and reminds me why I need to move on and give myself enough time to heal...
god bless you and I pray that you encounter the love you deserve
1 week since he beat me. 1 week he has been in police custody. I feel lost. I love him but I know it's trauma bond I want to not feel anything
This documentary is really great. I´m a psychiatrist, and I´m gonna recommend it to colleagues, coworkers and patients. Aletta, Jill and Roel: brilliant and thank you very very much!
Please do share this wide and far to psychiatric/mental health professionals!
My mother is a viscious Malignant Narcissist in a religious right wing cult, my father, a massive enabler/vulnerable narc. They raised my GC older sister to be an absolute psychopath with me as everyone's scapegoated trash can of abuses.
Long story short, I am an Autistic INFJ/empath. The brain washing and pernicious abuse were so severe, two of my children manifested rare stress triggered illnesses that almost killed them (unheard of epilepsy and obscure cancer).
They gas light me all the way through them sabotaging my business and social world, while going to literal ends of the earth seeking medical help for my children...after over a decade of this, we left the state, and ended up with amazing medical professionals that Saved my kids. But by then my heart was failing and I was wrecked with CPTSD and all sorts of dangerously Traumatic events to recover from.
Eventually burning my entire previous existence to the ground on my own was the only option. I lost a very large family and social world, businesses homes, almost 3 of our lives....
When I finally started to seek help for my self, I was further gaslight and DX'd as "bipolar, manic" told I was my own problem, improperly medicated and told to write letters to make up with my family!
My recovery is mostly self made and supported through powerful videos like this! But, I am still seeking help for my dangerously intense PTSD. PTSD
I agree, this should be shared, it is spot on! ❤
I agree it's very insightful.
A lot of professional don’t even know what narcissistic personality disorder is and they need to know
monili2971, I have been researching narcissism for 14 years now. If you really want working no nonsence insight, the best teacher is The Little Shaman.
ruclips.net/video/drybfMZNlq8/видео.html
My mother did this to me my entire life. STILL does and I'm just over 50. I wish someone would have explained Narcissistic Abuse to me when I was 17. There's so much I'd like to do over. The worst bit is the way she gets angry at me when I DARE to question the gaslighting. And I'm the terrible one for despising her.
Definitely get this, I just turned 50 and I’m still working through issues 🥴
I relate so very much. My mother is a narcissistic person and the abuse started when I was a toddler. Recently I went on a trip, came home and her first words to me was “why do you hate me so much?” Then she ran off and slammed her bedroom door like a teenager. I’ve learned not to give her fodder so I ignore her. Yes I too am over 50 and she is old so I allow her to live with me. Because I’m a good person but I’m miserable.
same here, I am 47 and I discovered the truth about 2 years ago, both my parents are narcissist so I cut ties with them recently, I confronted them with their lies and it was getting worse and worse, they just go into "destruction mode", so... I'm better off alone than with a family who tries to make me go nuts but it is not easy one way or the other.
Kris Reece Ministries has so much teaching on this subject available on RUclips. Help and healing.
She's not gonna change, ever. Sadly as it is, I've been trying for 28 years to make her happy, I even made it my mission cuz I truly believed behind all that bad behaviour my mother was just broken but good. The way she jumped onto my dreams, my light and me as a person... I've decided freedom is my life mission now, being freed from her manipulation and control. Her health is crippled and she is getting old, she still berates and abuses, makes lots of threats (any kind) to regain control but I'm not believing her lies anymore, no more guilt tripping. I'm regaining my self esteem gradually, reconnecting with old friends and more important than all, telling my truth. I think there's hope for all of us, and we can help others through the fog. Stay strong, folks ❤
"Narcissist rely on you not relying on yourself" That was so deep and truth. Selflove is your biggest weapon against them ❤
True. Very true
Underrated comment asf
@@kelly.nicole hahaah, next time i put it in capslock for the people in the back 😉 Perhaps add a few smileys with it to intensify it...
Yes! This is truth.ive learned to calm down and speak my mind,stick up for myself calm but firmly instead of letting them get me to the anger level of trying to yell my point of view (pointless) and then they get what they want, which is to say things like "oh look,see, you're crazy..just like everyone says.they all see it" to make you doubt yourself.nope.i know right from wrong.im going to act calmly now and walk away so that I can turn those tables.
How do you leave if your the man with children? The man becomes homeless, not her.
The switching between good person and bad person probably messed with me the most.
I call it " lightswitch",
Instant on, 0 to 100 in a blink of the eye
OMG my HEART AND EXPERIENCE.... knows what your saying and FEELINGS OF UR PAIN. THANK YOU ALL FOR THIS DOCUMENTARY!!! MAKES me want to cry...I did... people it hurts me to even see or hear people go threw this... There cases are so much more complicated. Be strong... I went threw something like that... ohhh I thought I was Loca Crazy... And I knew I wasnt wrong... We fell in Love with these people.... Crazy
Its scary... The Giy in the BLUE SWEATER YOUR CUTE and your story is OMG....THE LADY WITH THE BABY..AWWW GODBLESS...EVERYONE ..AMH
🥰❤💯🤍 I WILL LIKE TO FIND A GROUP CHAT TO TALK SO I CAN UNDERSTAND MORE AND GET MY HURT OUT....ITS BEEN 4 YEARS.. STILL THERE PAIN.. I CRY EVERYDAY OF THE PAIN AND HOW MY LIFE CHANGE..
GOD WILL BE WITH ME.. AND I FIND A GOOD MAN ONE DAY . BEST BELIEVE IT.. NOW I WILL KNOWWWW THE RED FLAGGGGSSS🚫🚫..AMH‼‼
@@samfoxx6358 🥰🥰
Oh yes... So unexpected.. I remember the pain and confusion of that.
Hi is the scapegoat united a real group? My adult sons are scapegoat and golden child, my daughter was the forgotten child or invisible, but it messed all four of us in our heads. Its a nightmare, im a recovering codependent having to ba accountable for allowing the damage to my kids. Im so hurt right now, how dare he make me believe he loved us ... no love, people be careful, a narcissist will destroy you and his kids, move far away, and never admit or recall anything you say. I want to get him by the neck....i hate him...we are so betrayed.
9 years together and 6 years married, I am finally escaping a narc. This vid was so eye opening so spot on and even triggering for me to watch.
I am so grateful for the support system I have around me.
Just reminding myself that none of this is my fault.
Are you alright? I wish you every success in escaping, don't ever forget it's not your fault and that you deserve peace 🙌
Have you watched other channels like "H.G. Tudor" (who is a real life narcissist), Dr. Ramani to name but two. I make a point of watching narc vids all the time (being an adult child of a malignant, covert narcissist). And yes it is NOT your fault.
Growing up with an emotionally unavailable mother and abusive stepfather gave me a bullseye for narcissists. I was so thirsty for connection I would drink poison to feel quenched.
I did drink it unknowingly but I survived
I’m so sorry you started out like that. It’s amazing that people get through or survive such start to life
I don't mean to sound flippant, but I had to "like" your comment because of your mastery of poetic imagery.
Perfect description 👌
Ohhh the Stepfather…public humiliation, my Mom watching and noticing my withdrawn behaviors & even thought I was trying to be seductive once as a child🤮 the trauma is unmatched! I was desperate for validation and kindness.
Come on RUclips, just recommend this to the rest of the planet already so everyone can start healing already.
Yes! This was in the side bar of a video I watched on a different topic. It has never come up when I’ve searched narcissistic abuse. With all the censorship, I wonder if this is being suppressed. Perhaps Zuckerberg recognizes himself? 🤔
Amen.
This popped up for me after I sent a WhatsApp message about someone I know who I think is a covert narcissist
Yes well said!!!
Esp after in the USA we had such a narcistic president who also was incredible revengeful, yes they can be charming, but it’s not real, they only do it if they need to get something from it. Its this love bombing, charming behavior, they get away with all the bad stuff, it’s rationalized away or it’s our fault. Gaslighting our truth what we saw and heard ourselves is nog true. Alternative facts ... it’s as if all narcissists stood up and showed their ugly self a bit.
Thank Goodness for the internet to help us discover things like this these days.
LOL....🤣🖖🤣🖖🤣🖖🤣
Yeah you are right 👏🏼
Thank the thousands of electronics engineers over 75 years for it. God had nothing to do with it. Any more than the tooth-fairy.
I say thank Goodness. It's much more FACTUAL...
Belief in mythical beings is the hardest habit to break.
@@Theineluctable_SOME_CANT No shit
@Tim Lyons I was raised "Church of England" in the late 1960s. I realized something is seriously wrong with the Old Testament ar age 8 or 9.
So I looked into the religions of the people of this little planet floating in Space, existing in Time, movement exactly dictated by the Force of Gravity...
It's ALL BS.
I think I narrowly escaped a narcissistic relationship. I was only with him for a few months, but thankfully saw the warning signs early on. I still stayed longer than I should have, hoping that I was wrong about him. I'm so grateful for my friends who helped me recognise the dangerous situation I was getting myself into.
What warning signs did you see?
Yes, what warning signs did you see? Please let us know ❤
"Narcissistic abuse is the sum total of all forms of abuse." WOW!!! SO TRUE!!! It is the total destruction of the victim, inside and out.
This should be tought in schools. Like business and money managing.
It's much more important than either of those. Giving kids the tools to recognise dysfunctional relationships should be a priority.
I agree, physical and psychological autonomy
Also medical examination to protect people from drug and alcohol abuse after seeing what it does to the body.
@@couchramblingsdot-com5216 I agree with you. Thing is some of these narcissistic people really capitalise on social media to ramp up their abuse. I wonder if the education should incorporate this.
What a difference it would make if it was taught at schools
And we're just talking about this kind of abuse in romantic relationships. Imagine the lives of all of those who have narcissist mothers or fathers…
❗️❗️
It's hell, I'm 27 and I'm just starting to become my own person because most of my life was lost to the invisible battle I had with protecting myself from my narcissistic father, so much of my life, so much of my childhood has been lost.
I've been getting the help I need even so, just the thought of my parent being okay with the mental abuse over so many years is a hard one to digest.
All is not lost, life starts the day we begin seeing the beauty in the world ❤
Melina,thank for mentioning folks who grew up with narcissistic parents. My relationship with my dad taught me to put up and shut up so I was already geared to do that with my ex. Bless you for your empathy. The emptiness and loneliness in that relationship were extremely painful.
My mother is a narcissist and I feel awful when I’m around her. She confuses me and she is negative. I think she was abused as a child.
Bosses
I know this is an old video, but the information is still very relevant. I was with my husband for over 30 years. They're great actors, and when I had our baby, he couldn't relate to her. She just made him angry. ' Why is she always crying/ what's wrong with her, etc. I was 18 when I met him, and he was 26. People say,' Oh, you're so lucky to have such a nice guy' they didn't see him behind closed doors. I'm an empath , I thought everyone had empathy, but he had none. His problems were caused by other people, he said. I divorced him 12 years ago. I'm 60 now, I wasted my life. I didn't know what a narcissist was until a couple of years ago. That's when I had a light bulb moment. Thank you, internet, for all the information. Look for the red flags. Don't waste your life like I did.
The best content I have seen on NPD!!! Should be taught in schools so we could have the tools to identify those predators before it is too late.
💯 agreed
Yesssss!!!
I so agree with this. They should teach narcissism in high school and college. So people can be prepared.
Yes!! This info could save lives, instead of the nonsense they are teaching in schools these days, like the Lie of lots of different genders. Let's teach things that will actually help others!!!
This documentary should be shown in schools and colleges everywhere to spare the coming generations of these hideous beings. Excellent work thank you.🙌🧡💛💙
@@reneekelley4279 beware...this is a scam...google it people...
@@bandieboo8102 Agreed. And even if it WASN’T, it’s still a terrible freakin idea!!! The vast majority of people KNOW when their significant other is being unfaithful so why would anyone truly want to know ALL of the details??? Even if they think they do at the time, trust me- it won’t accomplish anything positive or productive, but simply just hurt the person more in the end. And I honestly believe that no one truly wants to know!! They just don’t want to believe it that’s all so they want proof. That’s why that comment didn’t sit right with me from the get!!!
@@christinafidance340
You have an interesting perspective.
Some of us like to know the truth and to not live a lie or be part of a lie.
Some people have a healthy level of self respect and want an honest partner, not one who sneaks behind your back, lies to your face, and lives as a deceptive liar. And often, is then happy to pretend you are the only one, when in fact, they have been putting their hands, mouth, tongue, and other parts all over someone else's body and putting on their super sexy acts for this someone or these people but not you.
Many people, sooner or later, decide, that is NOT how they want to live for the remainder of their one and only lives, or to encourage their sons and daughters to believe that it is all okay. Some also don't want their grandchildren as well as their children to grow up with that total lack of respect and all of the tragic and destructive aftermath.
Some women go out and find really good honest men, and wonder why they ever put up with such selfish, shallow, pathetic, deceitful, empty messed up human beings.
It all gets down to what you will or won't put up with.
If someone started lying to me, I would investigate. No question about it. If a small investigation had
concerning results I would go as far as possible to get the truth.
But that is because I have my standards clear from the outset, and consistently. And as an empath, truth is important. Plus I know my worth.
They are not hideous people, they are sick individuals,it's not that black and white. But I agree that videos like this should be shown in school, and psychology should be taught early inschools.
@@reneekelley4279 get rid of him you are a wonderful woman I can feel that thru the energy of your words. Please do not let him take any more of your time. That is the most precious thing over money.
This is spot on! I was married to one who was also an alcoholic. Like being married to Satan. And the day I left him and ran with my 2 children…I didn’t think I belonged in a shelter. I thought it wasn’t as bad as that. I found out I was one of the worst cases they’d seen. The mind control is mind boggling. Praise God I’m free!! ❤️🙏🏼❤️
The addiction/alcoholism makes it so much worse. I totally get it. Sending you and your babies so much love. You got this. You are incredibky strong!! ♥️♥️♥️
You got this! Keep strong, claim yourself back and be safe! You're your own shelter, trust yourself and love yourself!
I wish you all the best but foremost to HEAL and to GROW from it.
Warm hugs, much love❤
@@masterofwit339 Very true. Thank you!
I experienced the same, they give you a life sentence. There is so much damage
You still belong to you.
I suddenly thought, hey, know what, "He doesn't have me now". (Negative).
But:
"I still have me!". (Positive).
💪💪💪💪💪💪💪💪💪💪
“when I learned about narcissists I was finally able to…” She spoke to my soul, I will never forget the feeling when I first saw a video about narcissism, it all started to make sense. Knowledge is certainly power!
"She had a monopoly on the truth...no matter what you were talking about, her opinion was the truth." YES. God, I can relate so much to this video. The being held hostage, the being kept up all night and berated, it not stopping until you admit you are "wrong" and they are "right". The hiding of your keys!!! hiding my phone, my medication...the constant gaslighting...the thinking you're going crazy. The second-guessing yourself when you know in your heart that you're right. They break you down, isolate you, break your spirit. I am so grateful that I'm mentally resilient and strong because if I wasn't, I would be a shell of a person right now.
Narcissist Survivor here.
Same here. Still healing. Stay strong
Me three.
Yes- how wonderful that we can meet each other this way, at this particular time on this planet, through the gift of the internet, and because of all the work that has been done by all the amazing counselors and survivors all over the world who are giving name and identifying a recognizable 'shape' to what was previously so hard to identify and define!
Hero!
@Kami Focus on the things you want to find and be in your life.
Jeckle and Hyde behind closed doors, totally charismatic in front of others! To the person reading this who is also a narcissistic abuse survivor: I see you. I hear you. I believe you. ❤
Thank you because I've felt unnoticed and unbelieved for 8 months now - since I anniciated the divorce. Because most of the scars are not visible from the outside. Only those who have LIVED through it know the damage I feel to my soul! 😢🙏
to all family and friends, I was the scapegoat, the bad person...while she was the violent narcissistic explosive person over nothing, just for the fun of it
Song on Narc Abuse, check it out: ruclips.net/video/dCZaZI4FiEM/видео.html
That exactly how I described this very sick narc, always blessing others on the outside. So Fake, but their inside is totally Demonic making it very difficult to get others to believe you in their gas lighting abuses and death threats by damaging my property and they’re right next door, police and no one does anything BUT ENOUGH IS ENOUGH! Where can I find a Good Godly understanding therapist and Lawyer? THIS IS GOING TO STOP NOW! I feel so stuck and going all the way with this. Please Help!🙏
♥️
The best thing to do is spread the word about narcissistic abuse. Ive been through all the same. A narcissists great blind spot is that they would never consider that they are mentally disordered. Pride goeth before the fall.
My heart goes out to everyone abused by narcissists, I really hope you are able to believe there are beautiful people out there for you, trust is so hard to give after surviving a narcissists abuse, to all in this documentary "you are all beautiful & very special people" my love to you all
Their lack of genuine emotion or empathy is so confusing and disturbing.
You keep thinking they have normal emotions, I just have to get through to them. (I know now, but back then I was very young. 18-21) Eventually you realize they really don't think and feel like most people.
Quite devilish
Yes, you see it when they look at you with those dead shark-like eyes.
@@stephaniewagner6282 yes those eyes are only for their romantic partner. Everyone else is treated with respect & concern.
its like one day you learn everything in their life is fake and its about manipulating
Watching this trying my hardest not to cry. 22 years of abuse. Almost free
Tried not too, didn’t work 😓 Never have heard or seen anything describing my EXACT life
what can we do to help you escape
Make a plan, contact people who understand and care and until you are completely ready leave and don’t have any contact
When you finally leave you will realise you were already alone in the worse way
Leave him to Karma
They won’t change
PRAYERSNLUV, GIVE IT OVER TO GOD, GET FREE SAFELY& THEN TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF AND START TO HEAL!!!!KEEP A STRONG SPIRITUAL BOND WITH OUR SAVIOR JESUS CHRIST, MEDITATE, MAYBE TRY YOGA, WHAT IM SAYING IS YOU NEED TO HEAL EMOTIONALLY AND PAMPER YOURSELF& REVEL IN BEING FREE!!!! KEEPING YOU IN MY PRAYERS!!!! PRAYERSNLUV 👼👼💝💝✝️✝️🙏🙏💘💘
My Mother died 22 years ago.
Years before she died I told my brother, “I won’t grieve when she dies, I am doing my grieving while she is living.”
My therapist called her, “a weirdo, wacko.” He got that right.
I so get you. Ive not seen mine for over twenty years. It honestly won't effect me when she dies.
I understand. When my mother died I stood at her grave for 45 minutes , trying to feel SOMETHING. I felt nothing. Im not a cold person by any means, so it told that the relationship was so damaging i had no feelings left for her.
Same here! I can relate.
You sound like a narcissist.
Very wise to name it and go through the levels of grief. My family murdered me with lies, slander, identity theft, undermining any idea, new job or friendship. Then, they were angry when I was no longer around to blame for their "Mess" which consisted of grant fraud, creating fake Nonprofits, cahooting with drug traffickers and Worse! They still illegally entire my home and steal, they even stripped bare my front yard of @ $600 worth of colored mulch and $125 worth of rare lily bulbs. They ripped out security cameras. No fear, no remorse, no boundaries. I had a judge suggest I move to another country, change my name and carry a gun. All things I cannot afford to do. We are children of God, mother yourself, pray for the protection of angels.
Growing up with a narcisstic parent, I would have liked to see different perspectives on the topic (not only partners, but parents, siblings, children and even friends for example). However, I want to thank you for raising awareness about this topic as it is still not talked about enough how narcissists can literally ruin your life. I hope these survivors realize none of this was their fault and they find peace someday.
Yup. I was abused by my mom, Ex sibling, and even my grandma was/is one! Parental narc abuse has to be the most insidious form of narc abuse smh just evil
@@Jess-yp9fo Same here, my parent and sibling were both high functioning narcissists. Worst part is that as a kid, you don't realize your parents are mentally ill, instead they make you think everything is your fault. Took me way into my adulthood to fully understand how evil my family was and to let go.
Hope you find peace and wish you all the best! We're already doing better than they ever did.
Now that I've learned both my mother and ex-wife operated that way, I would very much love to hear from others in an honest way about how the interactions they had with them went, so I think it would be interesting from that perspective. It makes me wonder even more what *actually* happened in all those stories about things they had happen to them where they were supposed to be the victim, especially the ones where they really didn't sound like a victim at all to begin with -- how bad could those have been?
There is great content on RUclips, check Live Abuse Free, her channel is great.
Exactly. I was abused by my father, auntie, and my two cousins. Whenever they talk about narcissism, it's always about partners. And not enough about the family members.
My narcissistic ex is currently engaging in a smear campaign...telling everyone who will listen that I was mentally unstable and abusive myself. He used my past traumas against me and purposely triggered me constantly to incite a breakdown, just so he could call me crazy afterwards. He had me believing it for a long time. My mental and physical health as well as my self esteem was at an all time low during the course of our relationship. Once I finally left him, he showed his true colors. They are truly devils in disguise.
I am so sorry this has happened to you. I've had the same thing happen to me multiple times, and it's the worse when they use your traumas against you and try to incite a breakdown. I remember once I grabbed a knife to defend myself because my ex was getting aggressive and trying to gaslight me to the point he must've thought I was really stupid to not see how blatantly he was lying to me. He then turned the situation into how I was so mentally unhinged I was going to hurt him and it wasn't like that at all, I was just genuinely afraid for my life and trying to defend myself.
I can relate. My ex friend did the same. Stay strong and just keep believing in you
I know the feeling, my ex did the same 😔 just awful
Reactive abuse .. I always fall into that trap .. try explaining your problem w them and they don't want too have any resolution .. it's like their Aliens from another planet , scary how they all have the same M.O or have the same mind F ***ck play book empty shallow and can suck the life out of a room .
@@victoriavitoroulis3273 💯
For anyone who's still in an relationship with a narcissistic: the fact that you're here means that you've recognised it and it's the first step. Work on your safety planning and get out. It's hard, so so so hard but you will survive it. You'll come out broken, damaged and bruised but you will get through it. And trust me, you'll rise from all this and you'll shine brighter than ever.
Don't give up, never give up.
15 years in an abusive marriage, 4 years out. Every day gets better. Raise your knuckles to the sky and fight for yourself. Love to all ❤
Amen
Yes and no. Because i only realised to have been in a rship w one years after it has passed while watching a psychologist's vids abt narcissist and personality disorder as psychology in general interests me. And when she explained abt various types of narc, my stomach churned at the explanation of covert narc. My mind was brought to many episodes. I ve thought he was smwhat damaged, but surprised it s due to his narcissism🥶🥶.
So I did, minimized everything then, cannot believe how close I came to death. I had lost myself then, came out of it successfully. It was a very difficult journey, his fight was with a woman who was raising his two two daughters, he never cared, I crossed every hurdle in my path that he created for me and raised two awesome daughters, a successful career for myself, and on my way to helping others in similar situation. Experienced it firsthand, now I know what "Battered Women Syndrome", "Stockholm Syndrome" , "Trauma Bonding" means, it is important to teach people about narcissist's abuse and how harmful it is!
I just left everything and ran last month..figure I can replace material things..My Soul is more important than any form of beating or abuse
Thank you for this
It is uncanny how narcissists seem to be following the same "playbook." Peace and healing to all victims.
It's strange
It’s been 10 years since I left my abuser. He was my first contact with a true narcissist. I’m still healing everyday. My PTSD sucks but I keep getting stronger. My road to recovery has been a long one. It also took me 10 years to get full custody back of my son. The abuse can last much longer if you co parent.
I'd like to throw stones at you . Why have kid with that man , lol, I had 2 and been married 25 yrs plus . I'm 46 married young . Instill hear the lies . You want to have a baby , I said you gonna quit drinking ! Lmao all these yrs . Been used abused . I'm here for him to hate
I have 2 little girls with a raging narcissist and it's horrible, yes. A couple months ago, I took the girls and went to a women's shelter for victims of domestic violence. He is still trying to control everything from the outside. He is accusing me of Parental alienation, of abducting the girls, even though I did what the police told me to do and took them from a toxic environment where he was drunk every night and abusive. We have court in a couple weeks, as I filed for full custody of the girls. Trying to coparent with these people is impossible. Right now, because he's trying to get us back, he is acting as if he's the best dad in the world and that he isn't drinking, and is a changed man. I know that if we were to go back, the nastiness would start again within a couple weeks. It just never stops. He has a trail of ex girlfriends who he also abused--I'm in contact with one of them, and she is the only person I can actually talk to who truly understands.
yes, even when the children are on their own.
I cant imagine how hard it is to trust someone else again
Starve the beast.
Go NO CONTACT
Agreed , only reason the Narc & I split up peacefully was because I completely starved him of everything plus I was completely on empty with nothing left to give
Please do not feed !
I did. And he moved on to his next supply within weeks
Sometimes it's Impossible if he has friends and connections and power to find you anywhere or ruin your career or put you been arrested for no reason.
It's the ONLY way
The extreme shifts between fake kindness and cruelty makes the trauma bond stronger than you suffer from cognitive dissonance.
This is the exact explanation of what happened to me.
What that mean?
correct!
@@lisamarieromeo6122 cognitive dissonance is when you experience tension from two different experiences: 1) I love that person 2) That person humiliates me. The tension and pain is very strong. In dissonance we try to minimize one of the two to make the experience bearable. like we use our mind to create excuses to forget one of the two. trauma bond is the emotional bond, when one gets emotionally attached to the person who causes the abuse. Consider this: '' First they are very seductive and kind, Then there are red flags. Then when the person starts to increase the abuse, its utterly confusing because they will alternate it with goodness, tenderness, kindness. That messes someone's brain. In behavioral experiments scientists would administer electrical shocks to mice, alternating them with positive rewarding stimulus-food. The more random the connection between the two, the more addicted the mice would become. They couldn't stop hitting the button. So this response of staying is a very addictive response. Not only one wants to experience that positive goodness they give, but its also an unconscious need for fairness, they need the person who hurt them the most to undo the damage. Add on this experiences with narcissistic parents. Lethal cocktail Deep breath for everyone, acknowledge the red flags for red flags. Acknowledge abuse for abuse. Be intellectually honest with yourself, dont make excuses. Leave. '' I hope that helps xx
The only connection I can think of is that both are based on the perpetrator’s undue emphasis of his/her own thoughts/emotions. In narcissistic abuse, perpetrators usually expresses the attitude that everything centers around them. They may object to that description and even insist that they don’t believe that; but, their actions say otherwise. Virtually everything you do/don’t do gets tied back to the perpetrator as a person. You’re either doing something right b/c you’re smart, capable, etc., or you’re intentionally doing it wrong in order to hurt/anger the perpetrator in some way. You are also likely to be accused of doing it wrong, even if you’re doing it right-again b/c of the perpetrator’s thoughts/emotions. Toxic positivity is generally not perpetrated with the intention to hurt anyone, and most wouldn’t even recognize it as being toxic/hurtful; but, in most cases, the perpetrator is still oblivious to the effect it has on others, and to the value of that effect. Narcissism is a psychological disorder and, with few exceptions, abuse is perpetrated with the tangible intention of causing harm. In contrast, toxic positivity is a behavioral flaw that is essentially an extreme version of selfishness, based in denial, and is generally perpetrated with the intention of maintaining and creating happiness. Most people are selfish, in some way or another. Toxic positivity is a subtle expression of selfishness-so subtle that even the perpetrator may not realize why it’s wrong b/c, after all, s/he is only seeking to encourage/uplift people. This is where denial comes in. Most people struggle/suffer, at some point or another. I believe that most people are also aware that there are people who experience more pain than they are aware of from their own lives. Denial allows people to look at someone who reminds them of themselves and assume that they cannot be justified in their suffering b/c the observer is not suffering. Denial also allows people who have suffered to deny the significance of other people’s suffering b/c it is notably different from their own, or b/c they perceive it as being notably different. From here, there are 2 extremes: One is for them to be semi-consciously abusive-meaning that they are generally aware that their actions are hurtful; but, they rationalize it as being justified. The other is to perpetrate toxic positivity-in which they are completely unaware that their actions are hurtful and it’s difficult for them to identify why they would be. Additionally, If you need to find out about a cheating spouse; send a request to: Metaspyhub@gmail. com
They are psychopaths who kills our souls.....
No one who had not been thought that understand 😢
12 years ago no one talked about this. I had no idea what narcissism was and I was alone in our house with a 10 month old baby, isolated from everyone I was close to, ready to let the old me go completely. But then I found an obscure article that described what I was experiencing, all of the bizarre behavior and manipulation and I cried. I cried knowing I wasn’t crazy, I wasn’t alone and I had a name for what I was living in. It was the best thing I could have found. Thank God for videos like this and their accessibility.
👌
dude they are everywhere after one it opens your eyes kinda like dmt, a perspective check not allowing you to trust
I would like the same to happen to me when I have a baby. I went through 7 long year after before I realized that.
God sent you that article because he saw your pain.
@@cwhyharris7473 ❤️
This is the most important documentary today. Should be mandatory viewing for all humans.
ikr
Definitely,, I think this should be taught in hight school from the age of 16yrs old, because there is so much young adults who are in narcissistic abuse boyfriend and girlfriend relationships. Honestly, some young people are crazy with controlling, verbal abuse, hitting honestly I swear this topic needs to be taught early.
Spot on 👍👍👍
There should be laws against narcissists ,,, this is a word wide pandemic,,,
Absolutely!!
Let's not forget, that for some of us our parents were the 1st ones to expose us to this type of abuse 😢
Narcissism is a type of insanity.
People who have never experienced this living hell, have no idea of how destructive and painful this can be. They are pure and unadulterated EVIL.
especially when it’s ur parent who is a narcissist and you grew up with it with no escape till ur 18
@@alexl4790 careful not to repeat ...
I think you mean "UNadulterated evil." And yes I do know how it feels to survive it.
Agree 100%... What's worse for me is friends and acquaintances telling me that I need to take responsibility for letting him into my life and for the way he treated me. So I need to be responsible for him and myself, 2 people... .. He was responsible for no one and nothing and none of his actions. Great 👍
@@rebeccarpwebb4132 i could never. i dont have kids right now, im 20 so it might sound like a stretch for me to be saying this, but i would never let my kids experience what i went thru with my dad. it seriously f's you up and i want my kids to feel safe and unconditionally loved by me.
The confusing part is when narcissists accuse the victims of being narcissists. And maybe genuinely convince themselves they’re the victims.
Yes!
Yes, yet when that person seeks treatment and asks, Am I a narcissist? The counselor knows they are not the problem. A narcissist would never ask that.
@@Rizingphoenix23 unless that’s their strategy. I’ve asked if I’m a narc and so has the narc who accuses me and others of being narcs. Maybe we all are ... I’ve even overheard the other making up bs about me and doing a number on their therapist.
It seems a safe rule of thumb is if you have empathy for others and have the ability to self reflect, you're likely not a narcissist. They may always view themselves as victims, but I think it's projection when they accuse their partners/others of narcissism.
That's a narcissists. They are never the problem they create !
In every narcissistic relationship, it is always one sided where one has no choice but to submit to all the abuse. I can definitely relate to this video, thank you. I just wish I found out years earlier
to all of you who watched this Masterpiece let it be known you are among the best human beings this world has to offer ❤ 💕
Cognitive dissonance - your gut tells you to run away, but your brain is trying to justify your stay. Yup.That is what they are good at.
Always listen to your gut. It's NEVER wrong.
@@samichgrrl So, very, True !
A bit of Stockholm syndrome
Thank you, Iva, for explaining the meaning of cognitive dissonance.
Sam Vaknin is great at explaining it all :)
Narcissistic abuse survivors are real war heroes. Heroes of an invisible war; the hardest of wars because it's a lonely war.
ATTENTION:📣 PLEASE GIVE YOUR LIFE TO THE LORD JESUS CHRIST WHO LOVES YOU SO VERY MUCH 💟💗 DO NOT GO TO HELL 🔥🌋🔥
@@freddiestranger9783 Nothing to do with religion.
What makes it even worse is everyone thinks so highly of this person! Me ex was a pillar in the community, an excellent father, and I was supposed to be grateful!!! That really messed with my head. All alone in a foreign country, 3 kids and he did whatever the f$&@ he wanted with me. ie) He woke me up at midnight, I was 6 months pregnant, he demanded I fix his hair... he was going to the casino. My narc was also a gambler, and very abusive both physically and mentally! I had a gold medal winner in the narcissist Olympics!!!
@@freddiestranger9783 bullshit! I was a kind, loving catholic girl, innocent and kind who attended church, and all the trimmings! My ex used my beliefs against me...he said I was satanic and he was a superior Greek Orthodox! Please, if you tell a victim that crap, they’ll want to slit their wrists!
100000% I LOVE THIS. WE NEED LAWS THEY CANT LIE TO.
I'm 56 and, only recently realized my mother, who is 92 is a covert narcissist. My whole life I wondered where my frustration and sadness was coming from. 7 months ago I moved back in with my mother to help her. BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE!!! She gets worse everyday, and it's so obvious now. I need to get as far away from her as possible, ASAP. My heart really goes out to everyone who's ever suffered this abuse.💜
ive done exactly the same thing moved back in to help her now im being accused of stealing she called the police one time and they didnt believe her told me to get out if i could shes still accusing me but reluctant to call police cos they werent on her side
Yes!! It starts out so perfect. Then suddenly, after the wedding, you start to realize you're trapped!!
“On average, a victim attempts to leave 7 times before finally leaving for good.”
That's true - even where there's physical violence. We also know that if a man puts his hands around a woman's neck, there's a heightened risk she will end up being killed by him.
I left on the 3rd threat .... one day it may be too late ... he wouldn’t have cared ... I need my hip replaced at the time I was 6.5 stone ... he must have been 18/19 stone ... he picked me up & slammed me on the ground.... wow it hurt .... on my worst hip side .... you don’t stand a chance against them ... they wouldn’t pick you if you did .... it nearly destroyed me ... & my poor sons had to stand by & watch ... I can only hope I am strong enough to show them better & not let them down again ... I’ve been diagnosed with depression anxiety PTSD ... I am underweight .. I stopped caring about myself my home my business ..... it was awful .... he said I was narcissistic.... I haven’t been diagnosed with that tho ... it’s shameful what one person can do to another ..... I don’t know how he sleeps ..... I don’t
Every time I tried to leave he would convince me to stay. I would be packing my bags after he would try to manipulate me, and say leave if you want to leave. Then I would try and leave and then he would start acting acting all sweet and nice, like he was when we first met. Then of course a couple of days later he went back to the real him. He even told me once, that he behaves perfectly at the beginning and once he knows the girls in love with him then he just goes back to his old self. Cuz he knows he has her, he was sick. I wasted eight years of my life with him and now he's on to his next victim, and I'm free. I'm still dealing with the aftermath, so I'm physically free from him but emotionally I'm still working on it. I have a chronic illness since I was 15 years old, and he told me on many occasions that I wanted to be sick. He said I wanted to have all those surgeries. Then one time when I was in the emergency room he told me that I was a burden to my family and friends, and they were just waiting for me to die. He was truly a sick person.
@@patriciaroy5013 you know about the cycle of violence? It's a documented standard way that the abuser behaves, abusing, then apologising & being all lovey-dovey before gradually - or even quickly - returning to their old behaviour, until once again they blow up like a bomb, & restart the whole cycle. That's one of the reasons why it can be so hard to make the decision to leave.
@@cindygenogram5667 yes that makes sense, because they confuse you because they can flip the switch so fast. They try and convince you that you're the one that's crazy, you're the one that started the fight. I'm just glad that I don't have to deal with that anymore. Because it's a toxic environment, and you just keep going in circles.
You can be the most beautiful talented person & no matter what, they find something wrong with you.
that is on point n so true
My parents
They villanize your good points. They absolutely make things up. That is why it is pertinent that you KNOW THYSELF!! because then there's not so much questioning of self when they throw their crappy definitions out there
@Sverð Skjöld Oh shut your vile mouth. You sound like an abuser.
Everyday. It will never get better if it's that bad😔 just stay strong.
These are all such intelligent, beautiful, kind people. I hope they continue to heal from the abuse inflicted on them. I’m grateful to them for sharing, as I’ve just realised in the last month that I’ve been a victim my whole life of a narcissistic mother. I have a lot of recovery work to do.
It is you being baited by a person who acts like your Dream come true on many days, someone you have loved more deeply than anyone else. Yet slowly someone more insidious appears. This person slowly breaks you down mentally by projecting all their bad behaviour onto you. By taking away your human rights, ever so slowly at first, that you barely notice as it is disguised as partnership working together. Yet, it is only you making changes. Not being allowed to feel or have boundaries or reacting to their abuse. This is even a crime to them. The psychological damage seems small but it is emmence. All done by someone who cannot and will never take responsibility for their actions or even act decently. Their own justifications make no sense, but you are the one that is made to feel crazy. How can anything be learned if only one person can self-reflect? They have rules you must follow, yet they do not need to. You are made to feel so small and helpless to the dramas they make. To be made into a monster, just so they can cover-up their misdeads they know would be looked down on if anyone else knows of it. Doesn’t matter that you did absolutely nothing wrong to deserve it in the first place. They know they are wrong, they know exactly what they are doing. They only care for themselves. Remember that! Everything they are is a lie and a fabrication. Yet all this is punishment for being madly in love with a person who was only acting as a reflection of youself to start with. Everything you believe. What is right and what is wrong? Can only be crushed by them. The idea of justice becomes an illusion, just as they were. The word Love is defiled and you are mentally fragmented and confused. You are left in a self defeating loop of obsessive compulsive mental noise of poisonous self destruction. Imprisoned by their own congintive delusions they forcefully smothered you with. You have to experience it, the disgusting depravity of the personality disorder to be able to truly understand the damage they do. No one you have dated or lived with before comes even close to it. It doesn’t matter if you leave them or they leave you. You’re still damaged by them anyway. They are Soul destroying parasites! Moreover, People wonder why they end up hurt, seriously hurt, and even killed for their own actions. Cheating is a choice and there’s simply a lot of ignorance in the process.... Thank you so much for helping me out Metaspyhub@gmail. com. Your advice and services helped me so much. You are a lifesaver !!! The information you gave me about my cheating partner when you gave me access to his phone was everything I needed to get,.. thank you very much..
Hi there,I just had to msg you after reading your post I’m in tears😢everything you say is so spot on. I left my ex 3year ago after 20years of marriage, i was a mess mentally and physically and I’m still under the MHAT(mental health access team)still on medication which I’ve been on for 11year with not much hope of getting off. I believed everything he said to me and forgave him on numerous occasions for the things he said and did and for the constant cheating, which I caught him out on a few occasions, to which he became extremely angry denied everything said I was going crazy, that he loved me so much, then turned the waterworks on, I ended up comforting him even though I knew it was true, because I loved him so much and I felt so upset for bringing it up and reducing him to tears.The fact is I only realised what had been happening when i was watching a RUclips video about Toxic relationships, I had never heard of CNPD(covert narcissistic personality disorder) I have watched many videos about this, I just wish I had known about this a long time ago I would have left him for good, instead of repeatedly going back to him with his promises of everything being different and better, he was going to change, he couldn’t live without me, the love of his life, blah blah blah blah. Sorry for the long msg😅thank you so much i will be sending this to my family and friends who prefer to believe that it’s me who is at fault, why would I leave such a lovely caring,kind,considerate,funny,do anything for anyone,family orientated great with kids/step kids and animals person🤔They wouldn’t believe it if i were to even try to justify myself for leaving so I don’t say anything,just had to go no contact. My heart goes out to anyone who feels trapped in a relationship that’s just not working,think about your health and happiness. Bless you all❤😊XX
This guy looks absolutely shattered, i just want to give him a hug
Please see my Comment "Aside from the nightmare ..."
Narcs are the best actors in the world but for there own entertainment, everyone of them would have Oscars in there trophy cabinet and yet I don't know why I'm saying this as a narc reading this would take it as a compliment and not a slight.
It's so sad to see...he looks so broken and traumatized. I sincerely hope that he was able to find some kind of healing for the abuse he suffered. I hope they all do
@Venus Gomez Hang in there. If you need help, say so. I would be happy to try and do so.
@Venus Gomez ive been out of mine for 6 months now, i am getting better but still so many issues. There is light at the end ❤
Does anyone notice how beautiful these people who are talking are??? The narcissists like to pick beautiful people to try to destroy to become less to negate you and your life and good choices to berate you and cut you down to become a not so beautiful person, inside and out and this makes their egos grow for them to make them feel more important and better than you
I was going to comment on exactly that...beautiful, articulate, bright, lovely...the Narc loves breaking beautiful Souls man.
Yes!! I'm sitting here staring at them thinking just that. Three people I'd love to know.♥️♥️♥️
I often thought this. I felt his sole aim deep down was to destroy me completely. It wasn't about control, it was about destruction of another person.
@@flowerpower8591
I think I know what you mean. For me, it felt like they wanted to do enough damage to certainly disable my mental health and self esteem and also make me "nothing." To rub out my individual worth.
Yes! I thought the same thing. We def are a good looking bunch😉 We have both the inner and outer beauty which is what they have so much contempt for.
"abuse felt like such a strong word" exactly how i feel despite years of verbal and emotional abuse and controlling behavior.
You will be treated like gold for months. Everything is hot and heavy - you found the perfect partner who is attentive, affectionate and passionate. The first red flag is they keep sharing their own stories (non stop blabbing from their aide) and don’t seem to be too interested in what’s going on in your life. The convos always switch back to what’s going on with them. Suddenly there is a switch and they are indifferent. For NO reason. There was no argument, no fight - in fact, the night before might have been one of your best nights together. After that switch, they will never ever come back to normal. You will be faced with constant silent treatment. You will be walking on eggshells. The minute you corner them and ask them what the hell is going on - you will be stonewalled. They gain power this way. You will be CONFUSED af. You will do everything you can to have the “old” them back, because you don’t like this new version. What you need to realize is the “old” version never existed. It was a complete lie and act - learned from friends, movies etc. It was a character made just for you - it’s no surprise you had a lot in common and now suddenly you don’t. The person you fell in love with completely disappeared, they are ghost. It is absolutely heartbreaking and devastating. All you see is the same body without the same soul. The more frustrated they see you - the more the run and push you away because they don’t want you to see that it was all a mask. Affection is out the window at this point. They can barely kiss or hold hands, but when earlier you were on their lap 247. The real them came out and the mask is off - they hate any from of emotion or love because they are not capable of it. You will be faced with constant gaslighting and they will try to distort your reality so you don’t see them for who they really are. You need to run like the wind - this relationship only makes you destroyed. Their friends don’t know.. for the covert ones - only their romantic relationship partners can figure it out. Because they are so careful with their image, it’s all about perception management. And one day… after all the cognitive dissonance and sleepless nights and feeling sick to your stomach.. you open RUclips and it’s a door to all your answers. You are well with a narcissistic psychopath that has no feelings. Leave and never look back. Additionally, Metaspyhub@gmail. com is a company that is ideal if you need to be able to confront a cheating spouse because they have some of the most advanced features in the industry.
That was a great post. Your analysis of the narcissist is fantastic. I am a psych major and have been through three different relationships. It is very important to note that there are different kinds of narcissists. I thought I would never be in another relationship like this but because I didn't know the different forms of narcissism, I wasn't looking. I am now 53 years old, and I can say after struggling with the first one for 23 years, I walked right into another one that was more sophisticated and more dangerous than the first.
Yep, exactly... This is my experience and despite my intuition picking up on all the red flags, he still hooked me. I spoke to him for 2 months in total and I have been recovering for 3 months and still don't feel myself. A completely unfair exchange as is the underlining point of all Narcissistic relationships. They will take, take, take until you have nothing left to give. It is a sickness of the soul and as wise, as my life experience allows me to be, I have no idea how, despite my intuitive warnings, I found myself in this place and feel so devalued and worthless as a result of this recent relationship. When I mentioned he could be arrogant and self-absorbed, he only confirmed that suspicion and revealed his Narcissism in full glory with extremely toxic behaviour and complete denial (nothing but projection and deflection)😔 I feel very sad for him (and my heart bizarrely, still longs for the person he portrayed himself to be, up until that point) but I ultimately feel, I had a very narrow escape and he would have destroyed all the healing in myself, I have worked so hard achieve🌠🙏🌠
My friend has said on several occasions,'she changed the moment we got married'. He has been trying to placate, reassure, and give in to her over & over all the time, trying to find the person before married life that he fell in love with. The damage is huge. He's too scared and conditioned to leave. I have removed myself from the toxicity, but I always feel bad for him and his adopted son. 😢
Amazing
Spot on 👍🏼
"In a relationship you should feel like yourself. And my biggest sign that I'm dealing with a narcissist is that I'm feeling smaller, like I have to fight to be seen, you know. And in any case that's not a healthy dynamics." -Aletta
How bizarre the manipulation though! At first they do see you recognise you your talents your gifts say they love and respect you and your mind beliefs etc - then they pull all of it apart slowly bit by bit and break you down chip by chip you feel smaller less seen not heard, gaslighted ghosted or stonewalled - then they apologise say they want to do something - and say and say - but DO NOTHING but keep perpetuating the avoidant crazy making abuse. I am hurting so much from this last trauma and after the last I swore no more narcs - they are just a magnet to our goodness - or our GODESSNESS I even wanted to call my last abuser my God after he said I was his Godess - My Goodness how the good want to believe that others will see our Godessness - Save your NESS for YOU the Next healthy healed aware relationship you create will hopefully be better... However yes you never know what people will do - you have to learn you can handle it and move on - that one thing I really have learned and loved in this movie!
Yessssss this is the number one sign !!!
Stay strong don't give your precious time and precious life to anyone that belongs to you and only you. Regain your strength and run asap you deserve better. Time heals everything don't invest a minute more in that
hate to sound corny but i feel like the blonde chick understands me more than anyone i know in my real life this is so crazy
Beautifully written
To the " victims" who took part in that documentary , you are not victims at all to my opinion, you are heros, you are inspirations , sooo greatful to you from my heart.
I feel the same. It’s one thing to educate oneself with information on this topic but to actually watch real life people’s experiences with this insidious treatment of abuse has just put the last piece in this crazy puzzle 🧩 for myself and my recovery.... One foot in front of the other small steps each day is my new motto.... My Solider is up and standing, crawl walk until we can run again... 💜🙏💜🙏
@@michellerose7591 As a survivor of childhood incest followed by almost 50 years of narcissistic abuse, I’ve learned that my greatest enemy is within. Her name is Victim. You, Ms. Rose, are a hero. ❤️
True. I hate the word "victim" because it defines a person by another person's actions. I am nobody's victim. Yes I can be treated badly and I can be hurt by someone, but that does not make me a victim.
Great comment Eve x
i hate that everybody sees victim as a bad, vulnerable and even dumb thing. shit that we cant control just happens everyday. that doesnt mean we cant be victims and heroes at the same time. i am a victim survivor of multiple abuse and a hero as you say, and theres nothing wrong with that.
This is so true! My father was a Narcissist. I remember trying to bring up the emotional and physical abuse but was told that I was the one at fault. It really made me doubt myself a lot. Still to this day I feel really invalidated by both my parents, who both don't acknowledge that it happened.
Coming out of a Narcissistic relationship is like scooping as much water as you can out of a puddle, slowly yet unnoticeably drying out in the scorching sun into almost nothing. Getting less and less in your bucket each day, taking as much as you can to survive, only to turn around and realize that there was an entire ocean behind you the whole time. You were just told to never look beyond the massive wall of trees
They call you crazy but its them....
That's one of there favourite word.
yup, i had bipolar disorder and schiztophrenia according to him
@@222empress Apparently he’s been called or told he has one of those dxs, or knows it inside himself.
Ya never have to wonder what they’re thinking or doing: The *tell you exactly what’s up with them* as they’re Projection Machines.
Hope you’re doing much better now.
I was never the same after...the only way i can describe it is like some one taking a swipe at your soul and scratching a piece of you with them. However the swipe never ever heals you are wounded forever
Everything they accuse you of, they are doing themselves.
All narcissist sooner or later brings their victim to illness because they themselves are actually sick
UNRESOLVED CHILDHOOD TRAUMA.... MOVING FORWARD.. PRAY FOR THE MENTALLY ILL...PEACE LOVE AND HAPPINESS TO ALL GODS PEOPLE 🙏❤💓💗💛💕🙏❤
When I was with my ex my hair started to fall out and my IBS kept flaring up. When it ended everything settled down until he started to hoover, then it started up again. This evil man made me physically ill.
unless the victim leaves as they should.
@@5DNRG I never lived with my ex and was only with him four months and I still got ill. 7 months later he still tries to hoover, but I’m wise to him now and can deal with his nonsense. I dread to think what would have happened had I not woken up to this madman when I did.
I was with mine for 3 n half years. He was physical and mentally a emotional. Ultimately, being as I relate to the beautiful lady with red hair.. Bc he would say something and I'd say what? And he'd say he never said.anything. found out he had a girl on the phone he kept in his pocket listening to all the fights. She was speak and that's who I herd I found out. I had a breakdown last year where I thought someone was hacking in my computer phone work..I didn't even trust that my mom was my mom. I've never been the same...its terrifying knowing that I always will Doubt me.
OMG! thank you so much! I cant believe im this old (52) and never knew of this. If i had this information 20 years ago so much pain could have been avoided. this should be shown in high school so that everyone is aware.
It is possible to get an abusers voice out of your head/ mind. The more you surround your self with people that uplift your areas of insecurity you can realize the abuser in your past was a liar. Everything they said was about control and not true. You don’t have to live with that. Hope this helped someone 🫶