Domestic Violence Started At Her Wedding Day!

Поделиться
HTML-код
  • Опубликовано: 16 июл 2024
  • Today, our guest Michele Weldon shares her life story with us. Michelle suffered from domestic violence for 10 years of her marriage which started shortly after her wedding day. Despite the overwhelming challenges she took control, focusing on the healing part of her story.
    #healingjourney #DVsurvivor #lifestory
    Thank you for watching Unfiltered Stories! We offer a platform for our guests to speak openly about their life stories and journeys, shedding light on the challenges they faced and the resilience they've shown.
    Our mission is to raise awareness about survivors by delving into their stories, exploring the impact of their experiences, and how they've managed to heal and rebuild their lives.
    By sharing these stories, we aim to break the silence surrounding those challenging memories and create a compassionate environment.
    Make sure you hit the 🛎️ BELL ICON 🛎️ to get notifications every time we post new episodes, and don't forget to SUBSCRIBE by clicking this link:
    ➮ tinyurl.com/USsub
    🌅 FOLLOW US 🌅
    Facebook ➮ tinyurl.com/UnfilteredFB
    Tiktok ➮ tinyurl.com/UnfilteredTT
    Snapchat ➮ tinyurl.com/UnfilteredSN
  • РазвлеченияРазвлечения

Комментарии • 248

  • @PhyllisGlassup2TheBrim
    @PhyllisGlassup2TheBrim 2 месяца назад +335

    I married an abuser but I hit back because my late father told me never let someone get away scot free.Then I had him arrested and he spent the night in jail which made him *very* wary about hitting me, so he started on my dogs and *that* is when I started divorce proceedings because it was easier than going to jail for murder. *Nobody* harms my animals.

    • @Naijella86
      @Naijella86 2 месяца назад +11

      I’ve never had an abusive partner but I’ve heard if you hit back the first time they hit you they’ll always be wary of repeating such behaviour

    • @shirleypoplo-ej7lz
      @shirleypoplo-ej7lz 2 месяца назад +18

      You have my respect zero tolerance of anyone abusing an animal!,

    • @SolASMR_
      @SolASMR_ 2 месяца назад +15

      I had an ex who used to grab my cat and let him drop from very high (he was 6ft tall) and he would just watch him. Of course my cat always landed on his feet but one time he didn’t and when I tell you this HUGE amount of anger erupted out of me and I told him to never f*cking touch my kitty ever again. He never did and I broke up with him shortly after.

    • @marthastrayton
      @marthastrayton 2 месяца назад +13

      I would do that too, hit back. I’ve now been happily married for 39 yrs! But when I met my husband, I told him, if ever you hit me, let me warn you, I’ll hit you back and then I’ll leave! He asked, why you say that, I said I’m just warning you!😂 He never did hit me, we love each other. Having Jesus Christ in our life is wonderful. My heart goes out to women that lands in such a abusive relationship!!😢

    • @PhyllisGlassup2TheBrim
      @PhyllisGlassup2TheBrim 2 месяца назад +4

      @@marthastrayton I'm glad you marked his card but sympathies for the delusions about mythical beings. Not really sure why you felt the need to share that sad fact though. Unless it was to imply that atheists men beat women, or atheist women like me *deserve* to be beaten?

  • @manichairdo9265
    @manichairdo9265 Месяц назад +123

    My friend, a newly wed returned from their honeymoon. To her dismay, her husband said he was going out with his mates. She retorted, then I will go out with my friends. He replied, you do and you'll live to regret it. He left. She called her folks. She left the marriage. 😂
    Awesome!

    • @t.h.8475
      @t.h.8475 Месяц назад +10

      Some women don't have anyone to call, and they won't be welcomed back into their family home. She was very fortunate.

    • @manichairdo9265
      @manichairdo9265 Месяц назад +8

      @t.h.8475 That is so true. I met a young woman at a train station. She had escaped her horrific husband and was afraid of her parents' reaction. I assured her nothing could be worse than what she'd suffered. The worst of the worst was her husband peeing on her head whilst she was asleep. I still think of her.

    • @daphneyherrington1065
      @daphneyherrington1065 Месяц назад +2

      Smart woman 🤗

    • @115dancingqueen
      @115dancingqueen 27 дней назад +1

      @@t.h.8475 usually the case in Muslim marriages. Honour and all that crap

    • @sexygabby30
      @sexygabby30 26 дней назад +1

      @@manichairdo9265men honestly, because of patriarchy really DONT like women they have been showing this for centuries yet women go with a hope and pray or act like they just don’t know this of them men to be like that…historically. But I degress.

  • @carlariggs525
    @carlariggs525 2 месяца назад +121

    After I watched my mother get abused physically and mentally for 10 years, I decided I would never allow anyone to treat me like that. I warned my bf's and husbands that if they ever hurt me; the first time would be the last. One threatened me physically and I said "you better kill me because when I get up, you are a dead man". He left and never returned. Teach your daughters not to put up with abuse in any form.

  • @casey4314
    @casey4314 Месяц назад +34

    After just 6 months of marriage I got out. I left a few months pregnant with 2 duffle bags. I had no problem leaving all the material possessions. I was adamant he would not harm my future daughter. And he never did as he’s never met her. 25 years later I’ve never remarried. I’m single by choice. I’m alone but not lonely. My suggestion is if he verbally or physically harms you the first time - run don’t walk. These stories of multiple years of abuse haunt me. I couldn’t do it. I’m not a slave to anything anymore. And I never will be again.

  • @lindajackson2382
    @lindajackson2382 Месяц назад +35

    YOU CAN NEVER FIX ANYBODY ELSE; THEY MUST FIX THEMSELVES!

  • @lab4389
    @lab4389 Месяц назад +34

    My ex was abusive verbally and emotionally. He would threaten me by taking my son’s away. He would get mad at me and lock me out of the house. He was very punishing. He did everything but hit me. It was extremely difficult. I told myself that he wasn’t abusive because he didn’t hit me. He was in my face raging. I would take my son’s and leave when I could. But at times he would take my keys. Counseling didn’t work because he portrayed a different person. I finally got out. Thankfully. Any kind of abuse is unacceptable. Thanks for sharing your story.

    • @mightymouse1005
      @mightymouse1005 Месяц назад +1

      You can NOT get counseling with an abuser. They gaslight and manipulate the therapist.
      ANY abuse is abuse.
      Mental
      Emotional
      Physical
      Financial
      Sexual
      Religious
      Coorsive control
      Gaslighting
      Manipulation
      ALL ABUSE IS ABUSE

  • @maudeboggins9834
    @maudeboggins9834 2 месяца назад +77

    Thank you for sharing your story. It will resonate & be helpful. My husband gaslit me before I knew it was a thing. We married in 1987 & he would pick on me in little ways, then be rude about my friends, then my colleagues, then my family. I didn't realize how miserable I was until 5 years into the marriage. I was happy at work & by the weekend I'd dread it. Then I had enough, I was done. It took me a year to feel free & relatively relaxed. Years later my work sent me abroad & I met a lovely man & we have been together for 25 years with two kids.

    • @JaneBeaver-cz5cb
      @JaneBeaver-cz5cb Месяц назад +3

      Same here, that constant nit picking makes life with them unbearable. Glad you got out!

  • @norakathleen63
    @norakathleen63 Месяц назад +35

    My abusive brother in law died and you wouldn't believe how many times he was referred to as a gentleman in his condolences. No one knew. He was toxic to his wife and kids.

    • @NJSMKMMS
      @NJSMKMMS Месяц назад +8

      Yes it seems everyone becomes a saint after their death. It’s idiotic if you ask me….

  • @YourSecretIsSafeWithMe
    @YourSecretIsSafeWithMe 2 месяца назад +64

    Guard your kindness. It’s hazardous when one doesn’t.

  • @KJKFORYOU
    @KJKFORYOU Месяц назад +25

    My first husband was totally enabled by his mother. Nothing was EVER his fault 😢

  • @LeaveYourAbuser
    @LeaveYourAbuser 2 месяца назад +82

    I left my ex after he told me he was going to bury my body in the backyard.

    • @masershazemenfes1288
      @masershazemenfes1288 2 месяца назад +7

      Wow I had similar experience too. These are demons 😈😈😈

    • @JosannaMonik
      @JosannaMonik 2 месяца назад +6

      Yap that would do it for me too, holy crap!

    • @t.h.8475
      @t.h.8475 Месяц назад +3

      I saw on the news several years ago where a man murdered his wife in front of their child. The chikd told the police what happened. No one listened. He buried her in their yard. Years later, the son bought the house, and during renovations, they found her body.

  • @aprilfortson4155
    @aprilfortson4155 2 месяца назад +56

    Wow, this was so good for me. I was divorced 15 years ago and thought it was all my fault. I didn’t want the divorce. He wasn’t physically abusive but definitely emotionally and mentally. So much of this took me right back there. So much that I didn’t see. Thank you.

    • @RochelleLong924
      @RochelleLong924 2 месяца назад +2

      Im glad you see now and remember that your worth so much more then what hand you were dealt🙏 good for you ❤

    • @maudeboggins9834
      @maudeboggins9834 2 месяца назад +2

      I did not realize I was being gaslit until 18 years after I separated from my mentally abusive husband. I was just miserable.

    • @bernadettemurray8260
      @bernadettemurray8260 Месяц назад

      ​@@maudeboggins9834Glad you got free.

  • @tamiewert808
    @tamiewert808 Месяц назад +24

    I feel that comment "what did you do to make him so mad"? To my very core!! My ex MIL blamed her son's abuse on me, even though every person in his family knew he had anger issues!! Unbelievable!!

    • @bernadettemurray8260
      @bernadettemurray8260 Месяц назад +1

      Truly appalling what a vile excuse for a woman!

    • @Zara-pt5xq
      @Zara-pt5xq Месяц назад +1

      I feel that comment "what did you do to make him so mad?" To my very core!! My ex WORLD blamed their sons abuse on me, even though every person in the family knew ,s/he had anger issues!! Unbelievable!!?

    • @mightymouse1005
      @mightymouse1005 Месяц назад +2

      That's one way narcissist are made......the golden child who is never wrong. The first time you give your child candy or toys after a tantrum at a store or home....your creating a narcissist. Teach kids NO
      Teach them accountability, respect and empathy

    • @jeanmeierbachtol6154
      @jeanmeierbachtol6154 15 дней назад

      Mine did too when he cracked my ribs

  • @TMeyer-ge5pj
    @TMeyer-ge5pj 2 месяца назад +53

    I got chills when she told the garage door part of the story. I know that feeling.

  • @user-nd1pl6yr5f
    @user-nd1pl6yr5f 2 месяца назад +83

    He has had 7 jobs in the last 7 years. He can talk the talk .... I have a mentally and physically handicapped son. Everyone thinks he is wonderful and he thrives of this. He is a wolf in sheep's clothing. Dear God Please help me.

    • @maudeboggins9834
      @maudeboggins9834 2 месяца назад +23

      Ma'am go online & see your options. Tell your family. Reach out. It is no longer a stigma. It is never the woman's fault. Good luck.

    • @DenaH-nomarkleneeded
      @DenaH-nomarkleneeded 2 месяца назад +29

      Wait until he is at work. Pack for you and your son and hide the bags. Then when he is working again, get out. Run for yourself and the life of your son. Go to a shelter; ask the police or prominent women's group for the location. Do this please; you deserve so much better❤

    • @sallygard63
      @sallygard63 Месяц назад +11

      Tell family members or friends … get help and support… then asa you have the means, leave … and don’t look back 🤗

    • @thewillowtree1127
      @thewillowtree1127 Месяц назад +9

      God helps those who help themselves.....there are resources, others have responded with suggestions. Pray and take action - GET OUT!!

    • @manichairdo9265
      @manichairdo9265 Месяц назад

      Wrong. God helps the helpless. ​@@thewillowtree1127

  • @mightymouse1005
    @mightymouse1005 Месяц назад +12

    Anyone going through abuse.
    Create a email address noone knows about.
    Send EVERYTHING to this email, texts, videos, journals, EVERYTHING. Give several different people the information to the new email. Noone close to you abuser. It will prevent an abuser from deleting it and those closest to you will be aware

  • @lauralott2741
    @lauralott2741 2 месяца назад +66

    Sounds like your ex was a narcissist!! They always show a different personality outside of the home.

    • @JanetJames-dw6xo
      @JanetJames-dw6xo Месяц назад +1

      Yes I married one of those, been divorced for years now and I'm happy and free to be myself.

    • @mightymouse1005
      @mightymouse1005 Месяц назад +3

      Angels in public and demons in private

  • @MindfulmavenMoments19
    @MindfulmavenMoments19 Месяц назад +14

    My husband tried committing suicide on our wedding night. He was a horrible man. I am so glad I escaped that abuse.

    • @manichairdo9265
      @manichairdo9265 Месяц назад +3

      Wonder-full. My friend's daughter was in an unpleasant relationship, but she kept dating him because he threatened to kill himself. She eventually ended it. He killed himself. She was a wreck until she learned at an inquest that his older brother also killed himself. She recovered but learned that such behaviour is ultimately that person's choice.
      I think she was 20 years old at the time.

    • @MindfulmavenMoments19
      @MindfulmavenMoments19 Месяц назад

      @@manichairdo9265 my ex also threatened suicide and even attempted on our wedding night. It’s a nightmare. A nightmare hard to describe and explain. I’m sorry for your friend’s tragic situation. I hope she is recovering as best as she can. 🤍

  • @xenajamey5611
    @xenajamey5611 Месяц назад +9

    Same. No matter what I accomplished, he would put me down. And always on edge waiting for the next outburst.

  • @createwithbarbbl4125
    @createwithbarbbl4125 2 месяца назад +33

    You have had a lucky escape from this man. Thank you for sharing. Isn't it interesting how even the Mothers want to know what you did to upset him, they don't want to believe the facts staring them in the face.

  • @lesliecasey780
    @lesliecasey780 2 месяца назад +35

    It isn't about self esteem. It is in a way. They strip you of your self esteem slowly and the mistreatment turns into abuse subtly and they take advantage of your love for them and your forgiving nature.

    • @mightymouse1005
      @mightymouse1005 Месяц назад +2

      They pick people with HIGH self esteem and confidence. That way they had a goal to tear you down

    • @user-st6nt4ou6f
      @user-st6nt4ou6f Месяц назад +1

      In a nutshell😢

  • @JaneBeaver-cz5cb
    @JaneBeaver-cz5cb Месяц назад +8

    My abuse started at rehearsal dinner when he called me stupid in front of everyone there. He acted sorry and kept abusing for 15 years

  • @SteMcgarry-xy5gb
    @SteMcgarry-xy5gb 2 месяца назад +19

    Just remember he has to sleep at some stage. My dad always said make sure if you hit someone you hit them so hard they don't get up as they'll kill you. Anytime a boyfriend went to raise his hand, I picked up the heaviest thing I could easily throw and threw it, never happened again. Today I am with a beautiful man who would never even think of hurting a fly. God bless xx you are not alone

  • @Naijella86
    @Naijella86 2 месяца назад +28

    You know I’m almost 38 and I wish I could be happily married with children and if I was my age in the 1980s and saw you with your husband and three sons I would have been so envious. You never truly know what anyone is going through - I hope you’re completely healed now

    • @maudeboggins9834
      @maudeboggins9834 2 месяца назад +8

      Personally I don't think anyone heals completely. One is damaged to a degree for ever. A piece of you is scarred.

    • @alyngrace123
      @alyngrace123 Месяц назад

      @@maudeboggins9834 Yes!

    • @sexygabby30
      @sexygabby30 26 дней назад

      From a little girl I saw so much and could never be envious because I saw right through men as a kid. Growing up I experienced so much and was able to keep things low. As I became an adult I traveled and understood the male nature and psychology. I say this to say unfortunately this type of thing is so super common ( women being hurt) in any way imaginable by men whithout provocation what so ever. For centuries women have been hated maimed and famines by men. Never understood what we want and see out of them. Se. Narcissuses aka narcissism. It can and will put you in a place you will never wake from.

    • @sexygabby30
      @sexygabby30 26 дней назад

      From a little girl I saw so much and could never be envious because I saw right through men as a kid. Growing up I experienced so much and was able to keep things low. As I became an adult I traveled and understood the male nature and psychology. I say this to say unfortunately this type of thing is so super common ( women being hurt) in any way imaginable by men whithout provocation what so ever. For centuries women have been hated maimed and famines by men. Never understood what we want and see out of them. Se. Narcissuses aka narcissism. It can and will put you in a place you will never wake from.

    • @sexygabby30
      @sexygabby30 26 дней назад

      From a little girl I saw so much and could never be envious because I saw right through men as a kid. Growing up I experienced so much and was able to keep things low. As I became an adult I traveled and understood the male nature and psychology. I say this to say unfortunately this type of thing is so super common ( women being hurt) in any way imaginable by men whithout provocation what so ever. For centuries women have been hated maimed and famines by men. Never understood what we want and see out of them. Se. Narcissuses aka narcissism. It can and will put you in a place you will never wake from.

  • @msbrunataylor5125
    @msbrunataylor5125 2 месяца назад +30

    So glad you had the courage & wisdom to leave ur marriage. Best wishes to you & your sons. ❤

    • @ceilconstante640
      @ceilconstante640 2 месяца назад +3

      Michele Weldon passed away March 2024. She suffered from fibromyalgia which is common among women who've been abused.

    • @alyngrace123
      @alyngrace123 10 дней назад

      @@ceilconstante640 I know one case it is true.

  • @bluefirekin
    @bluefirekin 2 месяца назад +20

    Strong, courageous, beautiful woman that you are - thank you for sharing your story with us. I am in awe of your tenacity in taking control, and making a better life for you and your boys.

  • @jann4sundown
    @jann4sundown 22 дня назад +2

    Wow! in my case my parents pushed me to stay with my abuser. You had a great family! That's the way it should be. Glad you are safe.

  • @gl3913
    @gl3913 2 месяца назад +26

    Thank you Michele for sharing your story with all of us here for it was very brave of you to do so. You are a very brave and strong woman Michele. And, it was an honor to hear your story of survival. Thank you for sharing and may you and your boys be blessed with beautiful lives as you all continue to move forward.

  • @karenfisher4170
    @karenfisher4170 Месяц назад +6

    “I was overcome by the possibility of fixing it”

  • @sharonwalters3439
    @sharonwalters3439 2 месяца назад +30

    Jesus!.... I'm so sorry you had to experience that I recognize the behavior especially on the day of your wedding day you definitely attached yourself unknown to a pathologically narcissist are sociopaths narcissist you're a blessing to survive that demon. God bless you.

  • @danielaconti9267
    @danielaconti9267 Месяц назад +8

    I Also went throught and abusive marige 30 years ago and i still have issues of fear when i see violent men .

  • @SusanKelly-ox2kk
    @SusanKelly-ox2kk Месяц назад +12

    I think the hardest part of being in an abusive relationship is admitting to yourself that this person you loved and trusted was not that person at all. You keep making excuses for them and covering up the mental and physical harm until it overcomes you. By then there are children involved, perhaps you don’t have money or family support. That stage is the hardest - trapped and desperately unhappy.

    • @annettemucciolo6749
      @annettemucciolo6749 25 дней назад +1

      Yes it’s much harder to leave when you have no money. One of the reasons so many women go or stay with abusers.

    • @alyngrace123
      @alyngrace123 10 дней назад

      A friend with three children look for another man as she was divorcing and she married again, she is very pretty but has a trouble character, his ex tried to seduce her sister and was cheating.

  • @johngreen2316
    @johngreen2316 19 дней назад +2

    These people really should be named and shamed !!

  • @leasaswartz6879
    @leasaswartz6879 2 месяца назад +9

    You are so strong. I’m glad you and your kids got out safely.

  • @deborah5209
    @deborah5209 Месяц назад +6

    You are OBVIOUSLY an EXTREMELY intelligent woman whom your ex has met his match in the way that you are NOT going to let this man drive the narrative!!!! Love the sisterly SUPPORT! Blood is EVERYTHING in these instances!!!! Bless you and yours ALWAYS 😊

  • @pattih7
    @pattih7 Месяц назад +6

    Thank you for your story. It cant be told, enough!

  • @merrisl6685
    @merrisl6685 2 месяца назад +14

    Thanks Michele, your story is truly inspirational, and it definitely turned a light on for me.

  • @taniaaustin6433
    @taniaaustin6433 2 месяца назад +11

    I left my husband after 18 months. Id put up with emotional abuse. He then made me hand over all my monthly wages and gave me pocket money to pay for my fares into work. He then had a go at me when the dinner wasnt ready at 12 midday on a Sunday. Who has their dinner at 12 on the dot? He got a knife and followed me around the house so I hid in the bathroom. He did finally leave and stormed out the house, then I got a phone call from my mother that he turned up there telling lies. What I never told him was my neighbours heard me crying and screaming and called the police, who turned up after he left. I had friends working for the police. They said to get away from him as soon as you can. So I did. He worked in a Bank so I showed the police the print out of details of customers bank accounts that he'd bought home. I'd already informed the bank that hed looked up my personal bank account transactions. I was told a couple of years later that he didn't work for the bank. I wondered if he was sacked.

  • @helgardhossain9038
    @helgardhossain9038 2 месяца назад +9

    You are very courageous to talk about this. Thank you.
    I know about the shame. I think, it took me 3 years to admit to myself that I was a beaten wife.
    I was really vain & presumptuous to believe that I could hold this marriage together and fix my narc husband ... I believed it for 20 years.

    • @lynhanna917
      @lynhanna917 2 месяца назад

      Almost twenty years in all it took was him saying won't it be great when the kids leave home and it's just you and me. I was gone six weeks later. The first time he hit me we were married two weeks, the last time he pinned me to a wall and was going to punch me as his mother stood by and watched.

  • @jacqw4695
    @jacqw4695 Месяц назад +5

    What an inspiring story-thank you for 'coming forward!'

  • @marciarhodes9898
    @marciarhodes9898 10 дней назад

    Wonderful story. You are a strong woman to be admired! 🥰

  • @davidarochelle
    @davidarochelle 2 месяца назад +9

    I let the abused GF/wife of a neighbor hang out at my upstairs apartment whenever she was scared/abused. Insisted on calling LE. Their response, "WHO are you to her and WHY would you give her refuge?" Could not get her to leave him as she said the homeless shelter for abused woman was dangerous with theives stealing your possessions.)

    • @Hatbox948
      @Hatbox948 Месяц назад +5

      She's right. I've been to several, and many times they're worse than home. Plus, most offer very little assistance in liberating you and helping you get a permanent address. Most donations pay for overhead and shelter staff.

  • @goofygranny1020
    @goofygranny1020 2 месяца назад +17

    I too know how the abuser twists everything somehow i got punched because i asked for it.out of the house looked and acted sooooo nice & perfect. Glad you got out. Sick bastards

  • @kellynorvell5714
    @kellynorvell5714 Месяц назад +8

    The sad and demented part is that ALL abusive men think that it is totally ok for them to beat their wives and a few minutes or hours later have sex like nothing happened 🤷‍♀️

  • @Fionasichanie
    @Fionasichanie 2 месяца назад +11

    Thank you for posting ❤

  • @hollybritton7255
    @hollybritton7255 Месяц назад +4

    Thank you for telling your story❤

  • @gracemcloughlin9305
    @gracemcloughlin9305 Месяц назад +4

    Yes, re. the key in the door 7.15pm every night.......the atmosphere chilled.

  • @pinkopallinu9084
    @pinkopallinu9084 Месяц назад +1

    What a great woman

  • @sherrilaird6535
    @sherrilaird6535 2 месяца назад +68

    I stay almost 10 years. I left when he put a knife to my throat and said im going to cut you into little pieces and put you in 3 rivers they will never catch me. They will never know what happened to you. I told my dad he called every man in our family. They came locked and loaded. My brother has so many guns filled a pick up. We had a u hail took what i wanted and when my ex said you cant come in my dad stated dont make a mistake. My brother beat his ass and sat on him. By the way 25 people showed up. He call the cops by the time they got there we were about to leave. The cops ask names and so on. One cop looked in our vechiles. I saw the look on his face when he saw my brother had all those guns. He ask what is this my brother said im a hunter. We left and it was over. I wish more woman had Dad's and family who would help them like that. Maybe a lot of this would stop. My family does not call cops

    • @mamathemeat
      @mamathemeat 2 месяца назад +8

      I wish the same… I’m glad you had that support. 🎉

    • @chilloften
      @chilloften Месяц назад +4

      Yes, no consequences is easy.
      My three brothers don’t protect like yours.

    • @bernadettemurray8260
      @bernadettemurray8260 Месяц назад +3

      Brilliant!

    • @nightingalesastra5451
      @nightingalesastra5451 Месяц назад +3

      Wish I had family like yours

    • @user-xi7gz6sz4w
      @user-xi7gz6sz4w Месяц назад +1

      My friend's father didn't believe her. She had no help or support.

  • @kettethomas4603
    @kettethomas4603 22 дня назад

    Your self esteem is the reason you finally spoke up. Bravo.

  • @joansheekey476
    @joansheekey476 12 дней назад

    Good for yu as a woman yu dident deserv anyoff ut yur beuitful woman god bless yu. Strong woman ❤

  • @hazelsmith5628
    @hazelsmith5628 2 месяца назад +7

    Why don’t our friends and family tell us how they feel about our choices of our partner , instead of saying it after the separation ? Saying that “Oh ,I didn’t want to hurt you “ , only hurts more after the fact !

    • @pamfullerton5334
      @pamfullerton5334 2 месяца назад +8

      Because you are in love and wouldn’t believe it and we would lose you as a friend.

    • @territ1231
      @territ1231 Месяц назад +4

      Because at the time we wouldn't listen..."we're in love"...

    • @user-xi7gz6sz4w
      @user-xi7gz6sz4w Месяц назад +2

      Because they might hear "you're just jealous of our relationship."

    • @sexygabby30
      @sexygabby30 26 дней назад

      I don’t be caring not one dang bit… I tell you in your face even if he there ( depending) if it breaks us oh well you know though your life was saved. You’ll holla back. I don’t care about none of that. I rather loose you alive than Another. I’m just built like that.

  • @twingytwango6971
    @twingytwango6971 Месяц назад +1

    I grew up for the first couple of years of my life in domestic violence. Even at 7 years I could not understand why my mother didn’t defend herself. I always said that I have no control over what a man might do but I knew he would only make that mistake once.

  • @makola1970
    @makola1970 Месяц назад +4

    I would still record and report the letters to you. Its a type if stalking, and takes up mental space that it has no right occupying.

  • @beadbrainjewelry8666
    @beadbrainjewelry8666 2 месяца назад +2

    Very insightful

  • @roxweinzel7436
    @roxweinzel7436 2 месяца назад +11

    You rock

  • @geraldineskinner5941
    @geraldineskinner5941 Месяц назад +4

    I think we can have tremendous self esteem in some areas of our lives but it doesn’t mean we can’t have areas of vulnerability in ourselves which make us vulnerable to this type of predator. I know I was shocked at myself when I encountered more emotional abuse which I allowed as I had an area of myself that needed fixing. That is the hard part. I’m so sorry for the difficult time you had and your sons had but they have one great parent and that is a lot more than some experience

  • @YaHWeH-Disciple
    @YaHWeH-Disciple 12 дней назад

    Thats wild. Im listening to this story on July 4th, 2024. 😳😎

  • @kerrypearce4264
    @kerrypearce4264 Месяц назад +2

    Excellent telling of your more than difficult and horrible experience. Your capacity to convey that so well is a gift to us all.
    Go you! 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

  • @leapinglaura7343
    @leapinglaura7343 Месяц назад

    Very interesting, well told.

  • @JoeyRose26
    @JoeyRose26 Месяц назад +1

    I’m so sorry you had an abusive husband but your strength shines. I enjoyed your story as sad and inspiring as it was. You’re easy to listen to. After twelve years I realized I couldn’t fix him as I realized I was losing my very soul. I never knew true evilness could exist in what was suppose to be a human being. I believe he was truly possessed by many demons. Thank God we never had any children. It wasn’t until he ambushed me one night by jumping into my car when I stopped in our driveway when I got home. He started biting me and tried to bite my ear off. My married daughter just happened to be at the house and called the police. I never would have out of fear of retaliation. That was the finale and thank God for my daughter. He was arrested and God gave me the strength to stay strong. I ran into one of the workers for domestic violence who happened to be in court weeks later when he was and when the judge asked him about trying to bite my ear off he said his false teeth fell out and that’s what was trying to bite me(:

  • @sallybuckley9186
    @sallybuckley9186 Месяц назад

    Michele,
    I heard your Chicgo voice from the onset and it was comforting. Thank you for sharing this painful story which IS important. There are events happening behind closed doors and prominent men or women find fault and the gaslighting begins.
    I thankfully never experienced the abuse, but clearly married a man who could not match me. This shit began ruining our marriage.
    I think it was evident in the moment w atty when the accumulation of events really take our knees out.
    I am from Chicago w family in Winnetka Skokie and LaGrange.
    Story telling provides freedom and helps remove the all alone ness. Beautiful work
    You are loved
    We probably know the same people
    Relative taught at Northwestern. Good on you Girl! X❤

  • @ke9988
    @ke9988 18 дней назад

    It's amazing to me that the abuser can withhold their control until after a signed marriage certificate. When I left a relationship at 20(too young), I told my brother what was happening. He talked to the guy and let him know that the police would be involved if there was a mark on me. I packed up and left.

  • @LS-eg2ge
    @LS-eg2ge Месяц назад +5

    Yes it is self-esteem, one who knows their value doesn’t tolerate abuse !

    • @mightymouse1005
      @mightymouse1005 Месяц назад +1

      Lie of the century.....it has NOTHING to do with self esteem...

    • @margaretgarana911
      @margaretgarana911 Месяц назад

      Why would it? Its a complicated situation

  • @Mary-tj5qx
    @Mary-tj5qx 2 месяца назад +10

    He sounds like a textbook narcissist. Going straight from one relationship to another tips it off. The kids were better off without him. I grew up with a narcissistic father who beat my mother. It destroyed our childhood. I loved my dad in spite of it, which ultimately was a problem. I chose people like him but fortunately was aware enough that i didn't marry any of them. I think the damage comes from who they are, not the absence of them.

    • @Hatbox948
      @Hatbox948 Месяц назад +1

      My daughter would have been better off never knowing her dad. We divorced when she was an infant, and I remarried him when she was 12. He ended up SA her, and it threw our lives into turmoil at warp speed.

  • @norcal0076
    @norcal0076 2 месяца назад +3

    Truth wins🙏

  • @2t3hr7
    @2t3hr7 Месяц назад +4

    This is beyond abuse. The husband has psychiatric issues.

  • @jannieannie5140
    @jannieannie5140 2 месяца назад +7

    Interesting listen but that repetitive background music is AWFUL.

  • @peacefulheart6077
    @peacefulheart6077 2 месяца назад +8

    This is so heartbreaking and infuriating. I am so sorry you had to experience such violence.
    Quick comment, but regarding the video play. I wish there was an option to silence the music. After a while, it gets quite annoying. Is it really necessary?

  • @atis9061
    @atis9061 24 дня назад +1

    I'm sorry for what happened to this lady. It's infuriating and I empathize. I do think, however, that it is a lack of self-esteem. If you love yourself, you would never allow someone to do any of these things to you. It comes from a need to be accepted by society and fears of being alone.

  • @lb4life731
    @lb4life731 Месяц назад +4

    I might get some slack for this, but what is wrong with males from Jamaica or the Caribbean? Two of my sisters dealt with emotional, physical and financial abuse(sweet talked prior to marriage) my best friend-phys abuse !
    The older males from my church(predominantly west indians) narcissistic and abusive towards their wives or children, an old friend of mine that I cut off because he hit his girlfriend because he was ready to leave a function we were at, but she wasn't, nearly twisted her arm off...the list goes on. I was raised by Southerners , so my dad, uncles etc are gentlemen. Don't know what's wrong with the Caribbean males .And don't let me get on the mothers that birthed them

    • @margeaupanforte
      @margeaupanforte Месяц назад +1

      In their culture, women are not seen as having much worth in the family except maybe the older matriarch. Women are at the service of men who may use them. Also, the women put up with it; using them for all types of things, money as well as being unfaithful while expecting them to be faithful.

  • @easyartisan
    @easyartisan Месяц назад +1

    Mine was once a year too. In between it could be good and generally we got on really well but when the abuse came it was bad. Head but, a punch in the side of the face which caused me to drop our new baby daughter. We moved to NZ away from friends and family and within a year he had an affair with my best friend who came to stay. I still stayed when the universe had opened the door for me. The abuse got worse and worse until I left 28 years in. Protection order was served by the cops he worked with. He worked in mental health ironically.

  • @lulugoulart5014
    @lulugoulart5014 Месяц назад +1

    Of course it's about self-esteem, when you love yourself you will not allow anyone to touch you or put you down.

  • @Red_1976
    @Red_1976 Месяц назад +3

    He has serious issues. Writing letters to you! WTF. Log everything. This guy is dangerous. He is clearly trying to maintain control.

  • @joellakoslowski5397
    @joellakoslowski5397 2 месяца назад

    🙏🏼

  • @thewillowtree1127
    @thewillowtree1127 Месяц назад +1

    thank you for sharing your story. So glad that you made it out and now you're helping others. All the best to you and your family. I made a decision to leave when a counselor asked me why I was carrying around that ball and chain. Of course, my husband was not only abusive he was a drug addict who didn't pull his own weight-so he certainly wasn't a good provider.

  • @KayLeeHoward-vc2ph
    @KayLeeHoward-vc2ph 9 дней назад

    Sad for the boys but that’s a blessing prob happy after they know what he did to there mom sad both ways no winning

  • @f.a.t1678
    @f.a.t1678 2 месяца назад +4

    🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾

  • @KayLeeHoward-vc2ph
    @KayLeeHoward-vc2ph 9 дней назад +1

    My ex husband did counseling useless for a narcissist they can say the right thing in front of people and flip the switch when they get home

  • @mmmmlllljohn
    @mmmmlllljohn 2 месяца назад +18

    One third the way into the video and the music is so freaking annoying. Why do you feel the need to put crappy music on when someone is telling such a heartfelt and tragic story?

    • @joan634
      @joan634 Месяц назад

      Speaking of jerks

  • @yvonnekristensen6305
    @yvonnekristensen6305 Месяц назад +2

    Well, I love this lady. I love the story, right up to 11m52sec.......but I had to stop bc the background music is insufferable.

  • @yolandatubin8126
    @yolandatubin8126 2 месяца назад +10

    What’s with the elevator music so distracting..

  • @mmmmlllljohn
    @mmmmlllljohn 2 месяца назад +5

    Interesting story but have a headache from the crappy music. She is a strong lady but having a loving caring family - and a sister who is a lawyer - means the world in these situations. I did not have a caring family and he stalked me after I left and continued with the abuse. He did her a big favour by leaving the country. I wonder is he contributed to financially support his boys. I doubt it.

  • @dianagarrison3138
    @dianagarrison3138 Месяц назад +1

    And then I learned about all the red flags.

  • @parler8698
    @parler8698 Месяц назад +1

    So many red flags early on.

  • @user-zo9dq6qc3c
    @user-zo9dq6qc3c Месяц назад +1

    I thought I knew my husband....ya right! After we had been divorced for about 3 years, we met at the house I had been awarded in my divorce. He was then living at his mom's house (she had passed). So we walked to the back of the house and I saw the door to the basement open. Out of the blue, he says to me, "I think it would be a good idea if you killed yourself". I have no idea why I did not react like I should have. I was numb. Our grown son's behavior, his verbal abuse towards me was the reason we divorced, as my husband did not take mly side. At the end, he wanted that @@#$ house for his demon son. My husband passed in 2013. Pieces of his personality now come back to me. Oddly, I know he was cryptic and ashamed of me being Hispanic, despite my being educated. He allowed our son to carry out his verbal abuse because he did really love me.

  • @aliciareyes5389
    @aliciareyes5389 2 месяца назад +4

    The MIL…what did you do…? He also lived abuse and he had the same pattern in the family… allegedly?!?!

  • @lindajackson2382
    @lindajackson2382 Месяц назад +2

    You never called the police on your husband?

  • @chilloften
    @chilloften Месяц назад

    Truth tellers rule!

  • @LeahDyson-kq4bd
    @LeahDyson-kq4bd Месяц назад +1

    I agree with everything you said except I don't agree the self esteem thing is a myth

  • @amalwais6896
    @amalwais6896 2 месяца назад +8

    I'm just really curious: was he abused himself or did he have some kind of personality disorder?

    • @TheStar798
      @TheStar798 2 месяца назад +4

      Honestly, from his Mother's question ("what did you do to make him mad") I'd bet he grew up seeing his Mum/Dad beaten. Learned behaviour, growing up in a DV household, feeding into his violent proclivities as an adult 🤔

    • @manichairdo9265
      @manichairdo9265 Месяц назад +1

      Who cares?

  • @michelleraney3577
    @michelleraney3577 Месяц назад +2

    The music interfered with the story and was irritating.

  • @aurenitapedrazzi5036
    @aurenitapedrazzi5036 15 дней назад

    One of your sons can be just like him. See the signs and take care of him early on

  • @brendaryan2864
    @brendaryan2864 Месяц назад +2

    He’s a narcissist. He has all the traits. They can’t be fixed. Look it up. You probably already have. They will take their mask off in front of you but their worst fear is being found out who they really are by others. They want to be seen as this great person by the world.

  • @YEALANDS2024
    @YEALANDS2024 Месяц назад +1

    Honeymoon for me!

  • @sonjaleroux4377
    @sonjaleroux4377 23 дня назад +1

    I will never ever stand for that. He would be a bye bye Louie long ago.

  • @Mrs.TJTaylor
    @Mrs.TJTaylor 25 дней назад +2

    Wow, what a really BAD marriage counselor.

  • @susanmcmahon4733
    @susanmcmahon4733 29 дней назад +2

    He sounds like an out and out Narcissist.

  • @naomisneighborhood5295
    @naomisneighborhood5295 27 дней назад +1

    STOP THE MUSIC

  • @CDN1975
    @CDN1975 Месяц назад +1

    Sounds like his mother was also a victim of abuse.