Domestic Violence Started At Her Wedding Day!
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- Опубликовано: 9 июн 2024
- Today, our guest Michele Weldon shares her life story with us. Michelle suffered from domestic violence for 10 years of her marriage which started shortly after her wedding day. Despite the overwhelming challenges she took control, focusing on the healing part of her story.
#healingjourney #DVsurvivor #lifestory
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Развлечения
I married an abuser but I hit back because my late father told me never let someone get away scot free.Then I had him arrested and he spent the night in jail which made him *very* wary about hitting me, so he started on my dogs and *that* is when I started divorce proceedings because it was easier than going to jail for murder. *Nobody* harms my animals.
I’ve never had an abusive partner but I’ve heard if you hit back the first time they hit you they’ll always be wary of repeating such behaviour
You have my respect zero tolerance of anyone abusing an animal!,
I had an ex who used to grab my cat and let him drop from very high (he was 6ft tall) and he would just watch him. Of course my cat always landed on his feet but one time he didn’t and when I tell you this HUGE amount of anger erupted out of me and I told him to never f*cking touch my kitty ever again. He never did and I broke up with him shortly after.
I would do that too, hit back. I’ve now been happily married for 39 yrs! But when I met my husband, I told him, if ever you hit me, let me warn you, I’ll hit you back and then I’ll leave! He asked, why you say that, I said I’m just warning you!😂 He never did hit me, we love each other. Having Jesus Christ in our life is wonderful. My heart goes out to women that lands in such a abusive relationship!!😢
@@marthastrayton I'm glad you marked his card but sympathies for the delusions about mythical beings. Not really sure why you felt the need to share that sad fact though. Unless it was to imply that atheists men beat women, or atheist women like me *deserve* to be beaten?
My friend, a newly wed returned from their honeymoon. To her dismay, her husband said he was going out with his mates. She retorted, then I will go out with my friends. He replied, you do and you'll live to regret it. He left. She called her folks. She left the marriage. 😂
Awesome!
Some women don't have anyone to call, and they won't be welcomed back into their family home. She was very fortunate.
@t.h.8475 That is so true. I met a young woman at a train station. She had escaped her horrific husband and was afraid of her parents' reaction. I assured her nothing could be worse than what she'd suffered. The worst of the worst was her husband peeing on her head whilst she was asleep. I still think of her.
After I watched my mother get abused physically and mentally for 10 years, I decided I would never allow anyone to treat me like that. I warned my bf's and husbands that if they ever hurt me; the first time would be the last. One threatened me physically and I said "you better kill me because when I get up, you are a dead man". He left and never returned. Teach your daughters not to put up with abuse in any form.
Thank you for sharing your story. It will resonate & be helpful. My husband gaslit me before I knew it was a thing. We married in 1987 & he would pick on me in little ways, then be rude about my friends, then my colleagues, then my family. I didn't realize how miserable I was until 5 years into the marriage. I was happy at work & by the weekend I'd dread it. Then I had enough, I was done. It took me a year to feel free & relatively relaxed. Years later my work sent me abroad & I met a lovely man & we have been together for 25 years with two kids.
Same here, that constant nit picking makes life with them unbearable. Glad you got out!
I left my ex after he told me he was going to bury my body in the backyard.
Wow I had similar experience too. These are demons 😈😈😈
Yap that would do it for me too, holy crap!
I saw on the news several years ago where a man murdered his wife in front of their child. The chikd told the police what happened. No one listened. He buried her in their yard. Years later, the son bought the house, and during renovations, they found her body.
He has had 7 jobs in the last 7 years. He can talk the talk .... I have a mentally and physically handicapped son. Everyone thinks he is wonderful and he thrives of this. He is a wolf in sheep's clothing. Dear God Please help me.
Ma'am go online & see your options. Tell your family. Reach out. It is no longer a stigma. It is never the woman's fault. Good luck.
Wait until he is at work. Pack for you and your son and hide the bags. Then when he is working again, get out. Run for yourself and the life of your son. Go to a shelter; ask the police or prominent women's group for the location. Do this please; you deserve so much better❤
Tell family members or friends … get help and support… then asa you have the means, leave … and don’t look back 🤗
God helps those who help themselves.....there are resources, others have responded with suggestions. Pray and take action - GET OUT!!
Wrong. God helps the helpless. @@thewillowtree1127
Guard your kindness. It’s hazardous when one doesn’t.
YOU CAN NEVER FIX ANYBODY ELSE; THEY MUST FIX THEMSELVES!
Sounds like your ex was a narcissist!! They always show a different personality outside of the home.
Yes I married one of those, been divorced for years now and I'm happy and free to be myself.
It isn't about self esteem. It is in a way. They strip you of your self esteem slowly and the mistreatment turns into abuse subtly and they take advantage of your love for them and your forgiving nature.
Wow, this was so good for me. I was divorced 15 years ago and thought it was all my fault. I didn’t want the divorce. He wasn’t physically abusive but definitely emotionally and mentally. So much of this took me right back there. So much that I didn’t see. Thank you.
Im glad you see now and remember that your worth so much more then what hand you were dealt🙏 good for you ❤
I did not realize I was being gaslit until 18 years after I separated from my mentally abusive husband. I was just miserable.
@@maudeboggins9834Glad you got free.
I got chills when she told the garage door part of the story. I know that feeling.
I do too....about my dad coming home.
I do too!
Me too
My ex was abusive verbally and emotionally. He would threaten me by taking my son’s away. He would get mad at me and lock me out of the house. He was very punishing. He did everything but hit me. It was extremely difficult. I told myself that he wasn’t abusive because he didn’t hit me. He was in my face raging. I would take my son’s and leave when I could. But at times he would take my keys. Counseling didn’t work because he portrayed a different person. I finally got out. Thankfully. Any kind of abuse is unacceptable. Thanks for sharing your story.
Just remember he has to sleep at some stage. My dad always said make sure if you hit someone you hit them so hard they don't get up as they'll kill you. Anytime a boyfriend went to raise his hand, I picked up the heaviest thing I could easily throw and threw it, never happened again. Today I am with a beautiful man who would never even think of hurting a fly. God bless xx you are not alone
My abusive brother in law died and you wouldn't believe how many times he was referred to as a gentleman in his condolences. No one knew. He was toxic to his wife and kids.
Yes it seems everyone becomes a saint after their death. It’s idiotic if you ask me….
You have had a lucky escape from this man. Thank you for sharing. Isn't it interesting how even the Mothers want to know what you did to upset him, they don't want to believe the facts staring them in the face.
You know I’m almost 38 and I wish I could be happily married with children and if I was my age in the 1980s and saw you with your husband and three sons I would have been so envious. You never truly know what anyone is going through - I hope you’re completely healed now
Personally I don't think anyone heals completely. One is damaged to a degree for ever. A piece of you is scarred.
@@maudeboggins9834 Yes!
I feel that comment "what did you do to make him so mad"? To my very core!! My ex MIL blamed her son's abuse on me, even though every person in his family knew he had anger issues!! Unbelievable!!
Truly appalling what a vile excuse for a woman!
I feel that comment "what did you do to make him so mad?" To my very core!! My ex WORLD blamed their sons abuse on me, even though every person in the family knew ,s/he had anger issues!! Unbelievable!!?
So glad you had the courage & wisdom to leave ur marriage. Best wishes to you & your sons. ❤
Michele Weldon passed away March 2024. She suffered from fibromyalgia which is common among women who've been abused.
I stay almost 10 years. I left when he put a knife to my throat and said im going to cut you into little pieces and put you in 3 rivers they will never catch me. They will never know what happened to you. I told my dad he called every man in our family. They came locked and loaded. My brother has so many guns filled a pick up. We had a u hail took what i wanted and when my ex said you cant come in my dad stated dont make a mistake. My brother beat his ass and sat on him. By the way 25 people showed up. He call the cops by the time they got there we were about to leave. The cops ask names and so on. One cop looked in our vechiles. I saw the look on his face when he saw my brother had all those guns. He ask what is this my brother said im a hunter. We left and it was over. I wish more woman had Dad's and family who would help them like that. Maybe a lot of this would stop. My family does not call cops
I wish the same… I’m glad you had that support. 🎉
Yes, no consequences is easy.
My three brothers don’t protect like yours.
Brilliant!
Wish I had family like yours
My friend's father didn't believe her. She had no help or support.
My first husband was totally enabled by his mother. Nothing was EVER his fault 😢
Thank you Michele for sharing your story with all of us here for it was very brave of you to do so. You are a very brave and strong woman Michele. And, it was an honor to hear your story of survival. Thank you for sharing and may you and your boys be blessed with beautiful lives as you all continue to move forward.
My abuse started at rehearsal dinner when he called me stupid in front of everyone there. He acted sorry and kept abusing for 15 years
Jesus!.... I'm so sorry you had to experience that I recognize the behavior especially on the day of your wedding day you definitely attached yourself unknown to a pathologically narcissist are sociopaths narcissist you're a blessing to survive that demon. God bless you.
#JesusIsLORD
💔=✝️🛐=💝
Yes it is self-esteem, one who knows their value doesn’t tolerate abuse !
You are so strong. I’m glad you and your kids got out safely.
Strong, courageous, beautiful woman that you are - thank you for sharing your story with us. I am in awe of your tenacity in taking control, and making a better life for you and your boys.
Same. No matter what I accomplished, he would put me down. And always on edge waiting for the next outburst.
I left my husband after 18 months. Id put up with emotional abuse. He then made me hand over all my monthly wages and gave me pocket money to pay for my fares into work. He then had a go at me when the dinner wasnt ready at 12 midday on a Sunday. Who has their dinner at 12 on the dot? He got a knife and followed me around the house so I hid in the bathroom. He did finally leave and stormed out the house, then I got a phone call from my mother that he turned up there telling lies. What I never told him was my neighbours heard me crying and screaming and called the police, who turned up after he left. I had friends working for the police. They said to get away from him as soon as you can. So I did. He worked in a Bank so I showed the police the print out of details of customers bank accounts that he'd bought home. I'd already informed the bank that hed looked up my personal bank account transactions. I was told a couple of years later that he didn't work for the bank. I wondered if he was sacked.
Thank you for your story. It cant be told, enough!
Thanks Michele, your story is truly inspirational, and it definitely turned a light on for me.
You are OBVIOUSLY an EXTREMELY intelligent woman whom your ex has met his match in the way that you are NOT going to let this man drive the narrative!!!! Love the sisterly SUPPORT! Blood is EVERYTHING in these instances!!!! Bless you and yours ALWAYS 😊
Thank you for telling your story❤
I think the hardest part of being in an abusive relationship is admitting to yourself that this person you loved and trusted was not that person at all. You keep making excuses for them and covering up the mental and physical harm until it overcomes you. By then there are children involved, perhaps you don’t have money or family support. That stage is the hardest - trapped and desperately unhappy.
I too know how the abuser twists everything somehow i got punched because i asked for it.out of the house looked and acted sooooo nice & perfect. Glad you got out. Sick bastards
You are very courageous to talk about this. Thank you.
I know about the shame. I think, it took me 3 years to admit to myself that I was a beaten wife.
I was really vain & presumptuous to believe that I could hold this marriage together and fix my narc husband ... I believed it for 20 years.
Almost twenty years in all it took was him saying won't it be great when the kids leave home and it's just you and me. I was gone six weeks later. The first time he hit me we were married two weeks, the last time he pinned me to a wall and was going to punch me as his mother stood by and watched.
What an inspiring story-thank you for 'coming forward!'
Thank you for posting ❤
One third the way into the video and the music is so freaking annoying. Why do you feel the need to put crappy music on when someone is telling such a heartfelt and tragic story?
Speaking of jerks
“I was overcome by the possibility of fixing it”
My husband tried committing suicide on our wedding night. He was a horrible man. I am so glad I escaped that abuse.
You rock
Very insightful
I Also went throught and abusive marige 30 years ago and i still have issues of fear when i see violent men .
Me too.
After just 6 months of marriage I got out. I left a few months pregnant with 2 duffle bags. I had no problem leaving all the material possessions. I was adamant he would not harm my future daughter. And he never did as he’s never met her. 25 years later I’ve never remarried. I’m single by choice. I’m alone but not lonely. My suggestion is if he verbally or physically harms you the first time - run don’t walk. These stories of multiple years of abuse haunt me. I couldn’t do it. I’m not a slave to anything anymore. And I never will be again.
He sounds like a textbook narcissist. Going straight from one relationship to another tips it off. The kids were better off without him. I grew up with a narcissistic father who beat my mother. It destroyed our childhood. I loved my dad in spite of it, which ultimately was a problem. I chose people like him but fortunately was aware enough that i didn't marry any of them. I think the damage comes from who they are, not the absence of them.
My daughter would have been better off never knowing her dad. We divorced when she was an infant, and I remarried him when she was 12. He ended up SA her, and it threw our lives into turmoil at warp speed.
Very interesting, well told.
Michele,
I heard your Chicgo voice from the onset and it was comforting. Thank you for sharing this painful story which IS important. There are events happening behind closed doors and prominent men or women find fault and the gaslighting begins.
I thankfully never experienced the abuse, but clearly married a man who could not match me. This shit began ruining our marriage.
I think it was evident in the moment w atty when the accumulation of events really take our knees out.
I am from Chicago w family in Winnetka Skokie and LaGrange.
Story telling provides freedom and helps remove the all alone ness. Beautiful work
You are loved
We probably know the same people
Relative taught at Northwestern. Good on you Girl! X❤
Truth wins🙏
Why don’t our friends and family tell us how they feel about our choices of our partner , instead of saying it after the separation ? Saying that “Oh ,I didn’t want to hurt you “ , only hurts more after the fact !
Because you are in love and wouldn’t believe it and we would lose you as a friend.
Because at the time we wouldn't listen..."we're in love"...
Because they might hear "you're just jealous of our relationship."
I let the abused GF/wife of a neighbor hang out at my upstairs apartment whenever she was scared/abused. Insisted on calling LE. Their response, "WHO are you to her and WHY would you give her refuge?" Could not get her to leave him as she said the homeless shelter for abused woman was dangerous with theives stealing your possessions.)
She's right. I've been to several, and many times they're worse than home. Plus, most offer very little assistance in liberating you and helping you get a permanent address. Most donations pay for overhead and shelter staff.
Excellent telling of your more than difficult and horrible experience. Your capacity to convey that so well is a gift to us all.
Go you! 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼
I’m so sorry you had an abusive husband but your strength shines. I enjoyed your story as sad and inspiring as it was. You’re easy to listen to. After twelve years I realized I couldn’t fix him as I realized I was losing my very soul. I never knew true evilness could exist in what was suppose to be a human being. I believe he was truly possessed by many demons. Thank God we never had any children. It wasn’t until he ambushed me one night by jumping into my car when I stopped in our driveway when I got home. He started biting me and tried to bite my ear off. My married daughter just happened to be at the house and called the police. I never would have out of fear of retaliation. That was the finale and thank God for my daughter. He was arrested and God gave me the strength to stay strong. I ran into one of the workers for domestic violence who happened to be in court weeks later when he was and when the judge asked him about trying to bite my ear off he said his false teeth fell out and that’s what was trying to bite me(:
Interesting listen but that repetitive background music is AWFUL.
I think we can have tremendous self esteem in some areas of our lives but it doesn’t mean we can’t have areas of vulnerability in ourselves which make us vulnerable to this type of predator. I know I was shocked at myself when I encountered more emotional abuse which I allowed as I had an area of myself that needed fixing. That is the hard part. I’m so sorry for the difficult time you had and your sons had but they have one great parent and that is a lot more than some experience
I grew up for the first couple of years of my life in domestic violence. Even at 7 years I could not understand why my mother didn’t defend herself. I always said that I have no control over what a man might do but I knew he would only make that mistake once.
I would still record and report the letters to you. Its a type if stalking, and takes up mental space that it has no right occupying.
This is so heartbreaking and infuriating. I am so sorry you had to experience such violence.
Quick comment, but regarding the video play. I wish there was an option to silence the music. After a while, it gets quite annoying. Is it really necessary?
100% agree.
I agree, I don't know why it is there.
🙏🏼
🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾
Yes, re. the key in the door 7.15pm every night.......the atmosphere chilled.
Why the key in the door?
Interesting story but have a headache from the crappy music. She is a strong lady but having a loving caring family - and a sister who is a lawyer - means the world in these situations. I did not have a caring family and he stalked me after I left and continued with the abuse. He did her a big favour by leaving the country. I wonder is he contributed to financially support his boys. I doubt it.
He has serious issues. Writing letters to you! WTF. Log everything. This guy is dangerous. He is clearly trying to maintain control.
And then I learned about all the red flags.
So many red flags early on.
This is beyond abuse. The husband has psychiatric issues.
thank you for sharing your story. So glad that you made it out and now you're helping others. All the best to you and your family. I made a decision to leave when a counselor asked me why I was carrying around that ball and chain. Of course, my husband was not only abusive he was a drug addict who didn't pull his own weight-so he certainly wasn't a good provider.
The MIL…what did you do…? He also lived abuse and he had the same pattern in the family… allegedly?!?!
Mine was once a year too. In between it could be good and generally we got on really well but when the abuse came it was bad. Head but, a punch in the side of the face which caused me to drop our new baby daughter. We moved to NZ away from friends and family and within a year he had an affair with my best friend who came to stay. I still stayed when the universe had opened the door for me. The abuse got worse and worse until I left 28 years in. Protection order was served by the cops he worked with. He worked in mental health ironically.
Of course it's about self-esteem, when you love yourself you will not allow anyone to touch you or put you down.
The sad and demented part is that ALL abusive men think that it is totally ok for them to beat their wives and a few minutes or hours later have sex like nothing happened 🤷♀️
Truth tellers rule!
What’s with the elevator music so distracting..
Oh I thought it quite calming.
He’s a narcissist. He has all the traits. They can’t be fixed. Look it up. You probably already have. They will take their mask off in front of you but their worst fear is being found out who they really are by others. They want to be seen as this great person by the world.
My first husband was a very controlling person, he slept four hours a day, sometimes standing and sleeping. He did not like me to sleep. Told me what to think. Beat his 10 year old son with hos fist.
One day i told him " you will sleep, i will get you." He backed off. Six month later i was gone. Oh ,i was in thd states 20 years old , from Europe and he was 26 years older and very intelligent and strong. He let me go. Praise GOD.
20 years later was born again.
Some years after the lord told me to pray for his redemption everyday, i did.
Oneorning i knrw he was dead from cancer. Took me 5 Minuits to find the obituary. I will see him in heaven and i recoice about that🙏🏼💃🏼🙌🏼✨✝️
You never called the police on your husband?
I thought I knew my husband....ya right! After we had been divorced for about 3 years, we met at the house I had been awarded in my divorce. He was then living at his mom's house (she had passed). So we walked to the back of the house and I saw the door to the basement open. Out of the blue, he says to me, "I think it would be a good idea if you killed yourself". I have no idea why I did not react like I should have. I was numb. Our grown son's behavior, his verbal abuse towards me was the reason we divorced, as my husband did not take mly side. At the end, he wanted that @@#$ house for his demon son. My husband passed in 2013. Pieces of his personality now come back to me. Oddly, I know he was cryptic and ashamed of me being Hispanic, despite my being educated. He allowed our son to carry out his verbal abuse because he did really love me.
Honeymoon for me!
I'm just really curious: was he abused himself or did he have some kind of personality disorder?
Honestly, from his Mother's question ("what did you do to make him mad") I'd bet he grew up seeing his Mum/Dad beaten. Learned behaviour, growing up in a DV household, feeding into his violent proclivities as an adult 🤔
Who cares?
Well, I love this lady. I love the story, right up to 11m52sec.......but I had to stop bc the background music is insufferable.
I agree with everything you said except I don't agree the self esteem thing is a myth
Yup. Mine started on my honeymoon. JERKS!
I'm sorry you went through this. Respectfully, I disagree that you can spend years allowing a man to brutalize you and claim to have high self-esteem. I think you need to get honest with yourself about the low/no self-worth that keeps a woman in this type of relationship. I wish you continued healing. Thank you for sharing. ❤
That is not true. Self esteem or Self worth has nothing to do with why women stay in domestic violence relationships. These relationships are complex and until you walked in the shoes of a survivor, please don't blame the victim. That's called revictimazation. Support don't criticize
@vlaja3777 I support her complete healing, physical, emotional, and spiritual. All repetitive cycles of abuse involve some form of self-hate/low self-worth. This is not a new concept.
@vylja.. absolutely
Myriad....self-hate....NOT. your comments are off the chart.
@@vlaja3777shut the f up, there was no victim blaming in the ops comment regardless if correct or not. Stop using big words for everything
Sounds like his mother was also a victim of abuse.
You mean to tell me there were no red flags about your husband before you got married?
Not ALL but Most people know Exactly Who they married or partnered with, most have seen their partners violence but it was directed at someone else in their defense so they're OK with it UNTIL it is directed at Them then they finally see the problem
I really wish people wouldn’t play annoying, repetitive music in the background. Had to stop listening because it was so annoying. Just simply talk and tell the story.
Why do women subject themselves. Love Jesus and free yourselves.
Mostly control issues! Many women are distanced from support systems, family, etc. Most are financially dependent! Do not ever blame the victim!
It is time to start talking about women abuse men…please.
It is discussed. In the UK, we have help-lines for the male victim of abuse, and a charity will support them in every facet of moving out of harm. There are many documentaries aired.
One woman got out of jail after a DV sentence. She returned to her victim. Hurt him again. The police were with him in hospital, trying to encourage him to move out. They asked him where he would like to live. He replied, heaven. The entire nation broke down weeping. He died of his injuries. His abuser was jailed yet again.
I tell every male in my family to walk away if the female in their life is abusive or violent. And I encourage them to tell their friends. Also, any form of DV is now a criminal offence.
The reason why women put up with 10 years or more of this sort of treatment has always puzzled me. My conclusion is that their vanity prevents them acknowledging that their marriage has failed and the man they chose is a disaster. Hence the continuous cover-up of abuse. It's just a pity that our society awards so many kudos to a woman for "capturing" a successful, prosperous and attractive man. Unmarried women are seen as failures, particularly as a woman's earning power is typically less than a man. I wonder if in any of her seven books she unpacks this at all. She touches on this when she refers to "the stigma" of a failed marriage. Just one of the number of societal and economic pressures that keep women in abusive relationships when they should walk out at the first instance of abuse.
Yet...3 kids later. To have a child with an abuser is low self esteem. Period..!!
You have to know his father or grandfather was abusive. Low self esteem, bullies. I've learned to spot them a mile away. Today they're called narcissist, but there is more to it.