Breaking Free From Domestic Violence In My Relationship
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- Опубликовано: 28 авг 2024
- In today's episode, Dana Buckmir shares her life story. Dana is a domestic violence survivor who recognized the red flags in her relationship and left her partner, breaking free from the cycle of abuse.
#domesticviolence #survivorstories #survivingabuse
Follow Dana Buckmir here:
Website: www.danabuckmir.com
FB: / dana.buckmir.16
IG: / danabuckmir
Thank you for watching Unfiltered Stories! We offer a platform for our guests to speak openly about their life stories and journeys, shedding light on the challenges they faced and the resilience they've shown.
Our mission is to raise awareness about survivors by delving into their stories, exploring the impact of their experiences, and how they've managed to heal and rebuild their lives.
By sharing these stories, we aim to break the silence surrounding those challenging memories and create a compassionate environment.
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NEVER GO BACK...NEVER . NOT EVEN TO END THINGS!!!!
I tried to stay friends with one and all he did was start getting nasty to me about my own son. At that point I suddenly stopped feeling sorry for him and cut him off.
Read the book Gift of Fear. Don't EVER go back or have any contact with them. There are lots of really, really scary people out there.
Dana, I dated a guy when I was young. One day during an argument he told me: “Tracey, you’d make a man go to the penitentiary!”
I was shocked, the argument wasn’t that serious and here he was making a veiled threat to me.
I didn’t respond, I just went home, never answered his calls, never called him, I was too scared! If he said that, why would I stay with someone who gave me such a warning? He called and called, fake crying in the messages, I erased every one of them.
One of the worst things young women do is allowing these men to move into your home so quickly. It’s easy to let them in but hard to get them out. Your home is your safe haven and you must be careful who you allow in. There’s no reason to allow a man to live with you after only knowing him a few weeks or months. When they want to rush the relationship it’s because they’re trying to get you before you find out how they really are - what’s the rush?
I don’t think it was wise to tell him his ex had been emailing you. That could have turned out to be dangerous for her. You should have kept that to yourself, especially since you didn’t heed what she told you from the beginning. And please don’t involve your friends in these relationships. A real psycho would take you and her out. She shouldn’t be sacrificed because of your DV situation especially if you keep going back to him (not you, anybody).
I’m glad you made it out safely.
Thank goodness for his ex for giving you info. And I’m glad you’re now safe.
I warned my abuser's new girlfriend that he was dangerous. She replied "I know ". She is dead now. Her mom contacted me stating she was killed by him. No joke. Be aware & listen to your intuition. God will show you.
You are one of the lucky ones you made it out alive.
I was in a domestic violence relationship but the only thing is my abuser chose to break and leave me and that’s how I ended up getting out of it and the cops didn’t believe because they was his color and I’m African American but here I am many moons later I have two beautiful kids the husband of my dreams I’ve been with six years and it couldn’t get any better
Sorry what do you mean chose to break?
This is almost my story to a T. I felt so scared to talk about what happened to me because I felt like no one would believe me. Thank you for sharing your story, it’s so important we talk about these things. I’m so glad you’re safe and out of this situation
So many evil guys out there. Be careful ladies
Not necessarily evil. Very messed up for sure.
And evil women!!
@@carolineheffernan7368 how about evil people. Women just have a higher risk of being murdered by a man
I have to attest when I was being abused....I went into denial. For years! I often blamed myself but eventually God woke me up when my abuser tried to kill me. Whew chile....
I'm happy you woke up and were able to leave that horrible situation. ❤️
Hi love How did you leave
We need more DV shelters; more education of police officers; more education of young women (thank you for doing this!). I’m so happy you are now safe!
God bless this young woman 🙏🏿
Thank you for sharing ♥️ survivor of 8 years here
Glad you got away from that monster. Hope the monster didn’t get away too. It’s not an episode it’s an evil act. Stay safe!
Domestic violence is occurring in elementary and middle school and Dana should perhaps make a video to be distributed within the elementary and middle schools.
That's a great idea. Women must be educated about it. I survived it 4 different relationships! I just was that naive. Never again.
@@danilaroche1156you’re not naive, remember they start out as charmers . Never give your cards away about your previous relationships, as they’ll say I’d never do that to a woman, however he’s got some ammunition on you , that then gets you thinking oh he’s not as bad as my previous partner
I’m convinced that people watch these videos just to say “Why didn’t you leave”… it’s irritating that people don’t have more compassion. I have edited this post because there are two people who are commenting, and did not read the comment correctly. But are commenting on my post like it’s negative. When what I’m truly saying the exact same things that they’re saying you cannot win with people.
It takes an average of 7 attempts before you can leave a dangerous abusive situation. You cannot equate the level of anxiety and fear that anyone goes through dealing with this. You’re the one who’s irritating, judging people from your limited amount of understanding
You’re a paralegal or a sociopath, either way you have no place spouting your hate here 1:12
You’re ignorant and you’re blinded by your ridiculous amount of impossible apathy
@@dolladollabillzyall umm we are actually saying the same thing. Re read what I said. It’s irritating how people say why didn’t they leave. I know how it works I’m an ad Litem look it up. Reading is Fundamental so is comprehension. And THAT is irritating
@@dolladollabillzyall I just saw one of your other posts And now I know why you’re defensive about things you have no reason to be defensive about. I hope you get help. I’m neither a paralegal or a sociopath that would be you. I hope you heal. Have a good life.
Thank you so much for sharing your story. So glad that you are healing. Congratulations on your engagement. Bless to you. ❤
So happy for you. Have a good life.
His friend did nothing on the boat ride? He's a punk.
Key words;Manipulative,quick commitment,warnings,red flags,self esteem issues.
I think Dana is doing a tremendous service by telling her story and especially talking to high school girls. It always seems like these abusive creatures are "out there" somewhere else, not "in my neighborhood". And then to come across something so destabilizing, you cant even believe someone like this actually exists! You cant believe it is actually happening, the horror. These people, men AND women are everywhere. Think "Fatal Attraction". Thank you for your story, Dana.
Thank you for sharing your story! Glad you were able to break free from this and is now trying to reach as many people as possible bringing awareness!
Facebook should be a red flag my husband passed away and that is all I attract are narcissists on there . take heed ladies and gentlemen.
Abusers come from every background even has high status/education/economy/power. eventually god forbid knock of woods if life throws us pls leave quitely..because keyword love must calming if not not love. Love must giving each other peace of mind and heart for lifetime. Stay safe consider all consequences on ourselves and others who are sincerely loving us.
Thank you for sharing your story. ❤
Never meet people online! Always run new people through friends and family..they see things you can’t. Never let anyone invade your personal space, let them earn your trust. Stay safe ladies!❤
He definitely should have been a psych hold.
In front of everyone 😢😠😡🤬
My ex pulled my pants down once in front of people I was so embarrassed
@@missprizzy1 I’m sorry that happened to you. I’m glad he was your Ex
So happy you’re safe ❤
So did he go to prison or not?
I'm sorry, but ignoring the initial warnings of the ex, and taking him back after he knocked her out on the boat is exactly why many people don't get involved in these DV cases. A friend or a neighbour could risk their lives trying to get the victim out of the situation, only for them to go back to their abuser, and nothing happens to him.
These stories really grinds my gears.
Yes, his friend that didn't interviene on the boat was probably assuming this. At least he did tell the police what actually happen.
You too!😂 She has low self esteem, and wasn’t given agency in her youth.. a healthy one would have pressed charges on the window incident and never looked back!
@mobutter2879 good point: she has low self esteem.
The boat incident was God's message to you. Sometimes when we're young, we don't know what real love looks like. ❤Best of luck to you.
Interesting about the confidence comment my ex used to come off to me so confident strong manly i later found out he was actually a complete liar and abusive not to me but having just come from an abusive relationship prior thinking back the signs of being controling were there mildly I'm glad i got out before it escalated
This is the nearest of the stories that I have heard that resonates with me. Well done you congratulations to you both 👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
I’m from Scotland and still stuck in this vile situation.
I'd never allow anyone to touch my house...never, if so, he wouldn't get out vertically
Yasss speaking in highschools ! Good for her
They always cry and apologize
That keeps the victim in the trauma bond
Not always..some actually think they are justified. These people are sick, never give second chances!
Remember y'all this rage & agression is a spirit. An evil spirit fron Satan.
Not from Satan.....just an evil human being.
From he broke the bathroom window u should have run that is a big red flag ,then he throw your stuff into the water wicked man
Minute 23:11 , ”the victim feels guilty to leave….” Spot on! Of course the victim is picked because of these chatacter traits of being ”other centered ”, caring, loyal, optimistic and generous with giving new chances
Thank you for sharing. It helps a lot.
Oh my goodness 😢😮
The repeated music on all of these videos really sucks. It’s distracting too.
you can mute it and put closed captions on .
The worst part is when the friends condone it and don’t do anything to stop it
I just don’t understand why there are so many messed up men out there. Anyone got any input on this ?
Hiw do we reach out?
I’m hoping you have done a background check on your new fiancé.
It’s great to go to the high schools and teach them! But do NOT forget about the boys, PLEASE educate them as well because women can be just as abusive and a male may not take it as seriously because of the male role that they are suppose to play as in strength. If anything at all, it can teach the young men to be aware of the red flags and avoid being that way in a relationship as well.
Minute 21:09 ; interesting analogy. I used to joke that ”where other people saw an iceberg, I saw paradise island with just a little bit of snow on it….”
There needs to be like a dv directory that lists these “men” kinda like an Ottis to warn us
That’s traumatic but at least he didn’t hide it came right out and did it past gf tho at one point they endured him for a long time
Wow his friend did not do anything!
Can you believe it?
@@SusanKelly-ox2kk no it is so crazy!
Narcissist
The Bathroom incident would have been enough for me. I would never put up with anything like this!
His next one won't tell the tale...
If he threw your bag in the water, how did you find keys for your car?
They were probably in her pocket.
20:00
Oh ya my ex husband said his baby mama used to hit him idk if it was true or not but made me feel bad for him before I ever met her he was telling me this I think now it was lies
Wow they all play from the same handbook.
so unoriginal.. losers
God... ❣️ Turn to Jesus, read the Bible, use discernment when meeting and getting to know people.
First Lady … met on Facebook , ignored warning of ex and believed his love bombing when he said she was beautiful …… huh why did I click on this ridiculous video
I personally don't believe in it because that's a boundary that I set up as a man not to do. However, I also don't believe it's my place to tell another man how to relate to his woman. There's been times where I completely understood why a man would have to use that as a tool in his tool kit. I've met some women who are master manipulators and dare you to touch them.
I hope you're not in an industry that directly deals with people..young or old
Well then, this man would need to grab his balls and leave the relationship.
No means no and never put your hands on anyone to cause harm.
I hate these stories, because stupidy will take your life! You gave him countless chances despite warnings and red flags,so deal with it!
Can tell you’re a perpetrator. If it’s so easy to get away why is a woman’s life more at risk as she’s planning on leaving or has just left?
These victims have low self-esteem.
They do have low self esteem but the blaming the cops because your home was destroyed is ridiculous.
Please do some serious research on traum bonding, on the cycle of abuse and read her book. Mostly the abused person gets cut off from friends and family and you begin to believe what they tell you. They are not horrible all the time - they go back and forth and you think it IS you. Try to have a little compassion.
@@deannarounds3295 abusers also groom their partners friends and family so that they say "oh but they're so nice, they would never do that", which makes ppl not want to reach out for help.
Thank you for sharing
This is good info👍🏼
Oh ya my ex husband said his baby mama used to hit him idk if it was true or not but made me feel bad for him before I ever met her he was telling me this I think now it was lies