He wanted love and a relationship ..started to complain from the first time we were together but kept on coming back and going on and off saying he was sorry to come back and sorry to leave ...he drove me crazy !
Thank you Jonathan for the great knowledge on relationships and self learning....😊♥️🇨🇦🙏💯, ty also the great books tips to read up on....planning to purchase them all for healing self...
3 signs: 1. Communication between dates becomes scattered, random, or aloof. 2. They start complaining about life circumstances. 3. They prefer to spend time with friends, family, or work; instead of making time for us.
Yes, since when did I become a part time relationship and not included in your personal life? I'm a good woman, I deserve to be put in front row not on a back burner
Lol so true .. until they want something or got refused by someone else they are treating the same way .. Can't stand people who expect your sincerness yet don't do the same in return .
If he doesnt want me and like me then I move on. I come from a place of abundance I only want man who want me I am not beggar for love. I have so much love to give and ready to recieve. I have my family who loves so much. I only want someone who loves me and stay away from who dont
I am thankful for my Mother who taught me how to vet men and without her instruction I'm sure I would have had regrets. I learned from my Mother to give nothing for free and because of this it took a long time to find someone who respected my values. I thank my husband's Mom for raising a son who is a gentleman.
@@caroshmarow maybe she listens to help her friends, family or daughter- he gives a different perspective and way of talking about the issues of relationships. Not sure 🤔 but thats why I listen and for future reference.
@@caroshmarow just because someone listens to this, doesn't mean they're not settled and happy. Like me, I was scrolling on RUclips and seen this video and was just interested on what he had to say so I listened. I am happily married and been married for 13 years. Some of us just get curious when we see a title like this.
The last man I dated told me he was looking for a relationship. We had what seemed like a great connection. Then we were intimate. And suddenly, he wasn’t. So, don’t always believe what people tell you, but always ask.
Perhaps you have to look closely at what you think is a good relationship. Maybe figure out your standards in different areas. Not what they say, but what they do!
@@samboriboun2213 I'm just not sure if people don't read my posts, or don't understand my posts. Again I will say - the moral of the story is - don't always believe what people tell you, but always ask.
So exhausting…simplify. No sex for several months. Take the time to see if they can be your best friend. Talk a lot about everything. If they want no part of this they aren’t ready for a mature and real relationship. He’s correct. Ask questions. Spend time getting to know each other. I agree. Don’t just let men pick you. Know what you want and choose who you want as a woman. Set boundaries. He is correct about getting hooked on the fantasy. Be real with yourself and honest. There are no games in real love. Be brave and be straight forward. It’s cathartic.
It's insulting to put someone in the friend zone. That's the end of any romantic involvement. I don't think men and women can be true friends. Sex always comes up, esp if they've slept together before. They can be friendLY acquaintances, say hi when they run across each other. But they're not going to pal around together, go to lunch with each other to meet their new significant others, go on out of town trips together whether a fishing trip or to the beach. When a man says "let's be good friends," he's telling you he knows you're not "the one." You've been friend zoned. He wants to "be friends" so he can keep your number and possibly have sex with you again in the future. Women also say "let's be friends" to let the man down easy. She knows they won't be real friends. If he or she wants to be "friends," the romantic involvement is over. I wouldn't accept being friends, because you can't really be friends, so why pretend. You can be friendLY. No need to be hostile.
I’ve chosen all of my guys, walked right up and asked them out. One of them was “the one”, I knew it from the start but he didn’t and that was fine…it took a while for him to figure it out and I respected that. Two of the others were relationships for years, I chose a few duds, they didn’t last long- I just walked away bc it just wasn’t happening so never went further than a couple of dates with them. Been together with my husband almost 30 years, married over 20.
It's true. Many men can't handle that. What's worse is when they carry on in the beginning as if they DO get it, and ARE being transparent or deep, but as time goes by, it's hard for them to keep up the façade, it's too much work for a guy to keep up the ruse, and things begin to fall apart -- and the unraveling generally begins with his behavior towards me. That is the most heartbreaking, being led to believe we're a match, we're meant to be, led to believe he loved me deeply and truly, only to be crushed when it crashes all because he couldn't fake it anymore. I'm done for awhile. I'm getting back to taking care of myself and loving Me. Perhaps, if/when I heal someday from the last 40 years of toxicity, then perhaps a real guy, a true match to my energy and values, will enter my life. If he never does, I'll still be happy and content, because I validate and love and honor myself. Still, it's been heartbreaking, because it's been nearly all my life.
You perhaps say too much about being deeply spiritual. Hold this back and just be a woman who respects herself. Perhaps less of a daunting challenge. Mention spirituality later on when you get to know him.
So true --- when we are spiritual and self aware - it's so much harder to 'lower standards' - just to be with someone who is 'halfway' there... sigh --- ughhh ---
I am really happy to hear you said the wrong person will get overwhelmed by our true selves. Because my mom, despite she had gone through a divorce, still thinks the old way is the right way.
I asked after meeting my boyfriend by the 4 th date and said I am monogamous and will not settle for anything else… I so agree Jonathan you need to be upfront and say what I needed…. There’s no way I am overwhelming a man of what I want.. and if the guy takes it offensively that’s on him .. there’s the door!!
Being passive means giving all control of the relationship to the other person. Women can’t afford to be passive, we need to speak up and not wait until date 10, wasting time and money with the wrong person!
@@helena3631 Yes, many that are narcs want the women to pay for things and then when they get good jobs after you take care of kids, your costing too MUCH money...go figure, when He said to My Mom if she dies she will not suffer anymore because she left ME...lol...this is after I'm begging for help...two months..I had pancreatitis and gastroparesis and he didn't want to go to the hospital...kid you not, Telling my attorney he treated me like a QUEEN...
My last relationship I picked Up quickly that he was not interested anymore. Less communication, family excuses. So I asked him straight and I confirmed what I already knew. Love the approach of treating my man. Most men don't allow it but I am a firm believer of sharing. So thanks for giving me this excellent line to show him how much i appreciate him paying for everything. Great Video Jonathon!
Mutual Effort! It takes two to tango. I’m done being passive and waiting. I’m going full throttle and if he likes me great if not I’m not chasing. Jonathan you’re amazing.
I'm so glad I found your channel. I'm a widow and recently saw the widower of my late best friend at a family function. For some strange reason we both felt an electric energy between us. We are both shocked. But we are dear friends who have known each other for 42 years....so....we will see. We have great communication, trust, and comfort with each other already.
all of this is so true. I noticed it with signs like: 1) texts went from good morrning, and good night with texts in between to fewer and fewer per day, to going entire days without a text or call 2) texts were less emotional 3) not responding to my questions or when I shared news of my life, songs, articles etc over text. Seems like he didnt even read them. 4) When I texted that I was feeling down or going through a rough time he suggested I go for a walk and "walk it out" where as in the past he would have called and talked with me about it. Even texts where I explicitly asked for his help or advice would get ignored. 5) After we would get together and be intimate, plans we had for subsequent dates the next day would suddenly become very inconvenient or forgotten or there would be some excuse why they couldnt happen. 6) Little things he used to do to show he cared like walking me to my car after a visit, he was now too busy, too tired, had too much work. 7) Didnt look me in the eye during sex.. didnt return words of affection.. Attributed our bond to "dopamine" chemicals in our brain. Once I started paying attention to these small signs of neglect and uncaring, I decided I needed and wanted more and I was going to stop settling for breadcrumbs.. It's been 2 weeks now of no contact. Thank you Jonathan for your (sometimes obnoxious) but always on the mark videos and advice to make me see the light and see his behaviour for what it truly was. It is really validating when I hear it in your videos and gives me the strength to keep going with the no contact and not cave for my desire to see him (despite it all I DO misshim!)
Watched a video about childhood neglect crappy childhood. Hooked on breadcrumbs means you're like the kid waiting for your mom or dad to come home & pay attention to you. Many do this and when a person is good to you then they get labelled as too nice ! Make sense ??
If my man don’t want me that’s fine,, I can move on forward easier because I don’t beg for Love,, I love myself too much than worrying about man don’t want me !!
OH MY GOD! You're speaking my language!! I feel so validated by your sharing! I've often felt like I'm "too much" or "expecting too much" from guys I've dated. I'm glad to hear you say that it's ok to share that I want emotional connection and a LTR! BTW, I'm not a princess. Thank you sooooo much!!
I'm so glad I watched this! I'm fully me at all times and people tell me, I'm "too much too soon"...I always respond with the right person won't feel that way...I didn't need validation for being me, but it was nice to hear someone else agrees with me!
I just got chills when you said you lost your son. Mom lost 4 & told me at a you d age that she learned in counseling: that grief is harder than any breakup anyone can ever bring. I am praying for you Jonothan, God is holding your hands & helping you to help other heal others Ever So Grateful For your sage advice. 🤲
A men. He can't wait to hear how my day went and wants to help me improve it if he can. He plans our dates and he hopes I will be impressed or at least enjoy myself. He totally wouldn't tell me what or where we were going and in the end.... It was so sweet ❤️. He took me to a musical concert, he paid for my tickets and everything, he took me to a fancy restaurant and a fun center, and took me to sight seeing lookout. It was like he couldn't do enough for me he wanted to show me the world 🌍. He is so sweet 😍
@@tammycooper625 Tammy sweetheart, please don't do that anymore. Dating is a man's opportunity to court yOu. HE wants yOu, and he proves himself through courtship... which includes, being a gentleman; treating you with respect and kindness; using HIS resources and spending HIS money on you; planning dates; wining and dining you; going out of his way to earn your love, respect and admiration; initiating contact between dates; allowing you to peacefully be the glorious woman you are while he works to be the winner of all men.... so that HE can win the prize - that's yOu! Paying for dates is helping a man to court and win yOu. Why would you do that? Your role is to look good, be fun, playful and a little firtatious... and be engaging and pleasant company.... all while evaluating him. Thats it. If he can't or not willing to pay for dates how can you trust he will provide for the family (one day)? How do you judge his level of generousity? Unfortunately many male dating coaches advise women to pay their share of dates. (They will also tell you to put out on first date) They are trying to make things easy for men. Earning a woman should never be easy for a man, so don't buy into it. Here is a script next time you are expected to pay for e.g dinner. Say it in your sweetest most feminine voice, with the saddest look in your eyes: "I'm sorry, but I was under the impression that you really liked me; thought highly of me, and saw me as a valued woman, that you were attracted to. So now I feel completely disappointed that you don't want to pay for our date. (Pause. Take out your money. Put it on the table) Guess I had the wrong impression. (Get up and leave.)
When a man will never let you know where you're going and only wants to take you to places that he wants to take you to, it makes me wonder a bit if he's taking you to places that he wants to go to, but is looking for someone to go with him so he doesn't have to go by himself. That may not necessarily be his true reason, but there's a possibility and it is worth thinking about and either decide which way it truly is: one way or the other.
We give our power away, because we are taught that is what men want. When we come off strong, confident and in control, we are too manly, too much yang. So we learn to hang back and wait, to be in our yin energy and then we end up giving away our power. It's a delicate balance. Typically, men push relationships forward physically and women add the emotional support and depth. I never pursued men or tried to push them into sex with me, I just don't operate that way. It feels very counter to how I was raised in American society in the 1980's. The answer lies in being authentic to ourselves as women. Knowing that deep down we have power and we need to make sure that even when we do lean toward our feminine energy, we need to know when to assert ourselves and stand up for ourselves so that we get the respect we deserve. Ladies, you can be in your feminine energy and thrive. You must make sure to stand up for yourself when necessary and express your feelings. If your partner doesn't take action to support you in the relationship, then you know it's time to walk away when you are not getting the respect you deserve! Life is too short to tolerate poor treatment!!
Feminine doesn’t mean weak any guy who needs that to feel manly is nit someone to stick around with. You don’t need to lean into weakness. That’s just pure Sexism. Not everything everyone tells you is good just bc they say it. Even parents.
That conversation only overwhelms the person who is not looking for the same relationship as you are … I prefer the honesty from the get go & find out if the man is looking for the same thing as I. 🌺
“But Jonathon… but Jonathon…” I have learned so much from you. I am a regular on Quora, usually answering many questions on romance, relationships, dating online and off, and your talking points/relating points are light years ahead of so many people wandering around out there in confusion, anxiety, with no clue as to getting what they want, or even knowing what that “want” actually is!
Well, I was married for 14 years and the my husband startet to change so much, until I finally couldn't bare it anymore and I just had to leave. I needed to bekomme myself again.
I feel so blessed to have come across this video. Thank you immensely for the wealth of resources. I'm on a personal journey of self discovery, healing and refinement and I am going to read everyone of the books your referenced. I'm sick and tired or being sick and tired! Blessing and Peace!
Excellent!!! Completely on point!! I know in the far away past when I was younger and learning about mechanics of relationships and developing emotional maturity I know that sometimes I would know that a man wasn’t into me but I didn’t really want to see it, I’m so happy to be at the point in life that I’m emotionally mature. My sincere condolences for your loss of your son. I do love that you always talk about him and that you have a scholarship in his honor. It’s often very emotional to talk about our child who is no longer with us but it’s very healing as well.
HELLO LOVELY I CAN INTRODUCE YOU TO THE SAME POWERFUL RELATIONSHIP RESTORER WHO HELPED ME TO RECOVER BACK MY EX FIANCEE. HE CAN ALSO HELP YOU GET BACK WITH YOURS AND MAKE YOUR RELATIONSHIP TO BLOSSOM FOREVER...
I learned that you shouldnt bite right away when the men are "fishing". A man has to hunt for a woman,at least if he really wants something.I think its beautiful when men have a lot of patience to eventually meet the woman of their life.The person who crossed my path in the past had this patience.
I thought he was actually going to expand on those points. What if the guy complains about his life circumstances but still doesn't use them as his excuse to break up?
@Jonathon Aslay, w all due respect, telling a guy you like him & asking him on a date & paying for it, is just as bad as learning too far back! You want to be the prize! A prize doesn't offer itself it has to be earned.
Kudos to you Jonathan putting it out there. I’ve been following your advise and it’s a lot better and less exhausting. You are resinating . You helped me be more expressive. Thank you. 😊
I honestly do not know how in the heck I got here. Lol. I was listening to 80's love songs while washing my hair after cooking and cleaning. I don't know who this man is but I can tell you, a lot of what he has stated in this video is true. I was taught by my parents to value myself and my body and with that, I knew not to give it up within 5 minutes of dating. I was taught, to get to know him,his family and his friends and more importantly to be in love before sex is involved. I was taught to keep God and prayer in my life and my relationship(s). And with that, I was happily married for 25 years until my beloved's death in 2009. He was an awesome communicator, very involved in asking me all the right questions very early on. He was so in tuned to what I was feeling and my everyday needs. We knew early on that we wanted forever together. He was tenderly patient and waited until I was ready for love making. It was everything It was suppose to be. I am blessed beyond measure to have experienced such a 💘 during my lifetime. It would have been ruined had we moved too fast physically and not spent time having hours upon hours of long extended conversations over periods of time.
This is excellent. I agree with the courting idea. It's nice to have some courtship behavior but get the foundational ideas out in the open first. If your values and goals mesh, then the romance can begin.
Connected but no intentionality I’m not your priority I’m conservative What r your intentions What’s you life goals Not a friend with benefits only Bye 👋 thanks for sharing your some times
I agree with much about you say..I think it's all about integrity accountability responsibility,awareness,boundaries,acceptance and willingness to be committed to having the others best interest in your heart without giving up your loving essence
Love that courting is for intention to get married,committed,true love,not for selfish reasons which is why relationships fail. There are 3 in a relationship... you,me,God in the relationship
Actually you are a well groomed man; well educated and how you communicate is genuine: hope you find the One!! I tried over the years looking for someone but nothing yet!!
Jonathan you’re so funny and charming and thank you for your bluntness and honesty to help women. I will keep watching and learning how to fall in love with the right man.❤️
Jonathan, I'm married and my husband has moved out of my bedroom physically and sexually and is blaming this situation all on me! He treats me like a bad child. And punishes me if he thinks I have misbehaved! I'm about to be 65 years old and I think that he's going mental
Hi @Jonathon ☺ the "after dating me get married" happened to me all my life. I believe that 1) I was not ready for a relationship; 2) these men were not ready for me; 3) I have a power as serial healer, I guess you have it too, and are sublimating it through your work.
Jonathan, any woman would be thankful for your sincerity before her mind and heart are all tangled. Your sincerity is your flag, and it will take you to an appreciative soul. God bless you 🙏
Hmm, i feel you overwhelmed her. Like when I go out, I don’t want the guy to be thinking about moving in or a serious relationship I just want to get to know him first if he’s already in that mindset that’s way too fast for me. I feel that any woman no matter how busy she might be you have a lot of things going on if she has a connection with you she’s going to make time but if you’re already meeting with the mindset of I want to be serious with someone she’s going to put the brakes on. I want the guy to be open to relationship but not eager and there’s a fine line
I think we all want to be SEEN and then, chosen. The guys who move so fast are in a hurry to meet THEIR needs. They are being intentional about their needs only. No "we" at all.
This video feels so intelligent and informative to listen to. Everything feels very fitting to what I already know on some level and in certain ways in particular. I always say know who you are dealing with from the get-go and in circumstances taking place socially. Anticipating that if someone misses the social ques because of only knowing how to be in their own head, or what not, then it seems harder to connect with the overall bigger picture. Sometimes we really do have to live and learn at the best of times...
HelloJonathon---I just recently discovered your chanel----My life has been a cornacopia of romance , adventure , sadness, beauty, Eros harmony and loss followed by intermittent pauses of solitude--- Each episode has gifted me with deeper meanings in life--In a way "You can't get it wrong..." You are an inspiring source of deep intelligence and love--- May every individual never give up their heart's desire---because that desire has been planted there by divine design Your empathetic advice is like a laser of empowerment to to all women seeking clarity in this crazy and also wonderful world.....
I find it unbelievable that some women would expect the man to pay on every date; that is so unreasonable! I remember a few years back,I dated someone briefly ( didn't lead to sex thank goodness!) and we had a nice meal in London and the bill came to £90 roughly 120 American dollars.I offered to pay and he said " good idea,seeing as you earn more money than I do".I couldn't believe this as he could have just said thanks or let's split the bill.I use to have this with guys who think you earn good money,you pay! Even if I had a rich boyfriend, I would insist on taking turns in paying as anything else goes against my principals.
COMMUNICATION VERY important in long term relationships and is akways important in any relationship from both sides, thank you for your info, keep up Coach👍✝️
I’ve been done with men since my 20s and it only took one. You can tell a man straight up if they are ready for a relationship and they will lie to your face. No guilty whatsoever of wasting your time.
Again a great amount of information. Yes, amazing ideas. Better questions, trust, communication is the key .... and I never used to care about any of that years ago. I'm finding currently I need to put out what I expect and ask questions. Yes some men don't want to answer or say ok yes we will talk about this..when ?? 😮
I started a relationship in March. He just broke it off. I was very clear with him about creating a friendship and we did quite a bit of travel together and I have heard a lot about his childhood wounds. At first he said he was looking for commitment but he has just met a guy at work quite a bit younger who is a bachelor. I think he has realized that he really didn’t want to be monogamous.
Hi Jonathan 😄. These are some great insights! I know that it doesn’t describe any of the content that you went into. However, my favorite line that you stated was, “This is the reality as I see it.”
Hi Jonathan, you’re a “life saver”! All you said in this video applied to me. For some reason I thought you were some old friend who kept telling me, “I told you so!”. Thank you very much! Keep these kinds of topics coming! Do you have conferences?
I made him wait over 3 months , I wanted to know who HE WAS with all clothes on ....I take relationship very seriously .... that was almost 8 yrs ago ......
I disagree with no communication in between dates. It was happening in my 2-month relationship and i “trained” him to text me more. He obliged and so far has been doing it. It was clear he liked and love me so i was confident enough to tell him that it would make me happy if he text me everyday.
I've been doing these three things to a guy recently without realizing it. Hoping we can salvage a casual relationship as we get to know each other better, but i think he wants more. There were some flags flying up for both, that gave me strong pause about anything more than a friendship at this point, but have considered it could be a timing issue. The silly thing is, we did not have the simple considerate conversation to see what the other person was looking for !?!
I actually met a guy recently organically, via a Meetup group. I did a masculine energy thing because I am a doer. We had a mutual friend. I contacted this friend and asked for the dude's number. But when I texted this man, who happens to be a lot older, I got a negative response. I was puzzled because I am used to taking initiative. I talked to a girlfriend and she explained that older men might be turned off by what I did. Sigh. I am so tired of thinking someone likes me but I have to wait for him to ask me out! Meantime the ones who might ask me out are so boring to me. How do you stay motivated? I'm ready to throw in the towel for quite a long time.
Hi Lisa 😀. That totally sounds like frustrating scenarios. Have you ever mentally prepared yourself for a date to go well? I wonder what stories your mind is telling itself, subconsciously? I promise that my curiosities are coming from a heart-centered space, to help you bring awareness of your own mental status, in setting it up for what you truly desire. Having a growth-mindset or knowing that everything is going to work out for you, while being unattached to outcome, brings a whole different essence on a date, allowing you to be more of yourself, while being able to be comfortable with uncertainty.
I have such a natural personality and attitude of just being myself is a man magnet. I sometimes would like to turn it off.Because I am always finding myself saying geez lol
I feel proud of myself so the other day I told my man that I did not climax during sex, and then about 12 hours later we started making out and he gave it to me proper and even engaged in telling me how hot I am for an older woman while trusting me and making eye contact. Thank you for telling me to speak up.
Gladwell is great. I was on a dating app and a man showed up. I knew someone from his town, someone I trusted. I fed her the info, and she said he was a great guy!!!! And she was right. Did it give me an advantage? Why not? And we had an amazing amount of common interests etc.
Thanks love you Jonathan. just spoken to a guy and he asked if we could discuss all topics including sex. I just said goodbye and good luck. Saw right through him!!! ❤❤❤ This is amazing how quickly youre able to get rid of the wrong guys quickly and swiftly. Wish we were taught this at school.
This is not all new to me, however now I have a better understanding of the males mind and know how to protect myself against these predators. All thanks to you and your help😊💗
I don't even make it past the talking stage anymore. 🤣🤣 cause i ask them within the first 2 weeks about what they are looking for and in our 40's they just want sex and most of them i find out are married ewww think i'll stay alone. Would love to find someone but i'm done. None want commitment or even long term just casual sex.
You are Revolutionary! I appreciate being told how men think and how they process in their brain. Also knowing that they don't know why they are doing what they're doing. Love bombing, then loss of hormones after intimacy. Makes sense to me. I love when you Breathe......so cool, its telling how much effort you are implementing and now I can deeply breathe gaining the knowledge. Relief!
Very helpful video again Jonathon. That part at the end about being attached to a fantasy unfortunately resonates. Thank you for the "tough love". Really greatful. 🙏❤
During one of my semesters with counseling/therapy I shared with my designated therapist that my new bf was so sexy and romantic, such an improvement over my current husband who I was currently trying to unmarry. His response shocked me because I never thought of it this way: He said "You think the new bf is "better" for you because of the chemistry involved, better than your soon to be ex-husband, but actually, you just "like" him better, but hat doesn't mean he is a "better" choice for you." I think of this every time I hear you say that "chemistry" is a very poor reason to start a relationship".
OMG!!!!! From a fantasy perspective!!! YYYYYYYEEEEEEEESSSSSS! Entitled! Princess!!! Outstanding!! You nailed that shit between the eyes! And I am a heterosexual woman. “Just showing up in all your . . .” Bravo! WELL perceived and described. I just subscribed. Respect
Keep up the good work Jonathon! Ur awesome and I feel like I've known u for yrs. With ur personality ur channel will really prosper. Your real, absolutely a breath of fresh air.. 🙂
FREE Discovery Call with Jonathon► jonathonaslay.com/coaching
He wanted love and a relationship ..started to complain from the first time we were together but kept on coming back and going on and off saying he was sorry to come back and sorry to leave ...he drove me crazy !
Jon is so honest. 😳. I love it 👍🏾
Thank you Jonathan for the great knowledge on relationships and self learning....😊♥️🇨🇦🙏💯, ty also the great books tips to read up on....planning to purchase them all for healing self...
@@TheTulina c cfc sd5zpa8
True appreciation & gratitude for each other and our best interest at heart, I totally agree with.
3 signs:
1. Communication between dates becomes scattered, random, or aloof.
2. They start complaining about life circumstances.
3. They prefer to spend time with friends, family, or work; instead of making time for us.
Uh oh. I have the triple threat situation with my guy
Yes, since when did I become a part time relationship and not included in your personal life? I'm a good woman, I deserve to be put in front row not on a back burner
Thank you🙏🏻♥️
Thank you!
Lol so true .. until they want something or got refused by someone else they are treating the same way ..
Can't stand people who expect your sincerness yet don't do the same in return .
If he doesnt want me and like me then I move on. I come from a place of abundance I only want man who want me I am not beggar for love. I have so much love to give and ready to recieve. I have my family who loves so much. I only want someone who loves me and stay away from who dont
You go honey!
Good for you girl . Loved them and leave them /move on .
Yes, this woman has said the right thing.
Exactly!👍
Word! 👍
I am thankful for my Mother who taught me how to vet men and without her instruction I'm sure I would have had regrets. I learned from my Mother to give nothing for free and because of this it took a long time to find someone who respected my values. I thank my husband's Mom for raising a son who is a gentleman.
May I ask why you’re listening to this RUclips if you’re settled and happy? 🌷
the key is finding a man who respects my values...no...a person who shares your values.
@@caroshmarow she helps the rest of us have hope
@@caroshmarow maybe she listens to help her friends, family or daughter- he gives a different perspective and way of talking about the issues of relationships. Not sure 🤔 but thats why I listen and for future reference.
@@caroshmarow just because someone listens to this, doesn't mean they're not settled and happy. Like me, I was scrolling on RUclips and seen this video and was just interested on what he had to say so I listened. I am happily married and been married for 13 years. Some of us just get curious when we see a title like this.
Basically listen to your instincts, trust your gut feeling because if you feel something’s not right then nine times out of ten it isn’t.
The last man I dated told me he was looking for a relationship. We had what seemed like a great connection. Then we were intimate. And suddenly, he wasn’t. So, don’t always believe what people tell you, but always ask.
Men say they want a relationship so they can have sex with you…it’s just game very few genuine people out there
Perhaps you have to look closely at what you think is a good relationship. Maybe figure out your standards in different areas. Not what they say, but what they do!
@@AngelWingzzz I think you misunderstood my post. The moral of the story was - don’t always believe what people tell you, but always ask.
@@lucythepug3116 but they lie so look at his actions
@@samboriboun2213 I'm just not sure if people don't read my posts, or don't understand my posts. Again I will say - the moral of the story is - don't always believe what people tell you, but always ask.
So exhausting…simplify. No sex for several months. Take the time to see if they can be your best friend. Talk a lot about everything. If they want no part of this they aren’t ready for a mature and real relationship. He’s correct. Ask questions. Spend time getting to know each other. I agree. Don’t just let men pick you. Know what you want and choose who you want as a woman. Set boundaries. He is correct about getting hooked on the fantasy. Be real with yourself and honest. There are no games in real love. Be brave and be straight forward. It’s cathartic.
Kimberly Loftus well said.
That sounds like me
It's insulting to put someone in the friend zone. That's the end of any romantic involvement. I don't think men and women can be true friends. Sex always comes up, esp if they've slept together before. They can be friendLY acquaintances, say hi when they run across each other. But they're not going to pal around together, go to lunch with each other to meet their new significant others, go on out of town trips together whether a fishing trip or to the beach. When a man says "let's be good friends," he's telling you he knows you're not "the one." You've been friend zoned. He wants to "be friends" so he can keep your number and possibly have sex with you again in the future. Women also say "let's be friends" to let the man down easy. She knows they won't be real friends. If he or she wants to be "friends," the romantic involvement is over. I wouldn't accept being friends, because you can't really be friends, so why pretend. You can be friendLY. No need to be hostile.
I’ve chosen all of my guys, walked right up and asked them out. One of them was “the one”, I knew it from the start but he didn’t and that was fine…it took a while for him to figure it out and I respected that. Two of the others were relationships for years, I chose a few duds, they didn’t last long- I just walked away bc it just wasn’t happening so never went further than a couple of dates with them. Been together with my husband almost 30 years, married over 20.
Agreed w/no sex and seek friendship first!
I’m a 54 year old woman; a nurse and I’ve always been intentional; but I’m a deep spiritual lady and many men can’t handle me,….truth to point
It's true. Many men can't handle that. What's worse is when they carry on in the beginning as if they DO get it, and ARE being transparent or deep, but as time goes by, it's hard for them to keep up the façade, it's too much work for a guy to keep up the ruse, and things begin to fall apart -- and the unraveling generally begins with his behavior towards me.
That is the most heartbreaking, being led to believe we're a match, we're meant to be, led to believe he loved me deeply and truly, only to be crushed when it crashes all because he couldn't fake it anymore.
I'm done for awhile. I'm getting back to taking care of myself and loving Me.
Perhaps, if/when I heal someday from the last 40 years of toxicity, then perhaps a real guy, a true match to my energy and values, will enter my life.
If he never does, I'll still be happy and content, because I validate and love and honor myself.
Still, it's been heartbreaking, because it's been nearly all my life.
You perhaps say too much about being deeply spiritual. Hold this back and just be a woman who respects herself. Perhaps less of a daunting challenge. Mention spirituality later on when you get to know him.
@@AngelWingzzz sorry I’m not changing the good that I offer that’s what makes me
So true --- when we are spiritual and self aware - it's so much harder to 'lower standards' - just to be with someone who is 'halfway' there... sigh --- ughhh ---
@@phoenixmode6909 At least you know now.
I declined (3 times now) going out with this guy that led me on for so long...Im now beginning to respect myself finally.
I am really happy to hear you said the wrong person will get overwhelmed by our true selves.
Because my mom, despite she had gone through a divorce, still thinks the old way is the right way.
Mom’s right
Mine wants me to stay with an adulterer for financial security 😒. Nope, not doing it.
I asked after meeting my boyfriend by the 4 th date and said I am monogamous and will not settle for anything else… I so agree Jonathan you need to be upfront and say what I needed…. There’s no way I am overwhelming a man of what I want..
and if the guy takes it offensively that’s on him .. there’s the door!!
Being passive means giving all control of the relationship to the other person. Women can’t afford to be passive, we need to speak up and not wait until date 10, wasting time and money with the wrong person!
👍
Well said Veronica 👏🏾❤
Hahaha.. yup you said it ! Wasting time and MONEY ! ..
You shouldn’t be giving men money at all
@@helena3631 Yes, many that are narcs want the women to pay for things and then when they get good jobs after you take care of kids, your costing too MUCH money...go figure, when He said to My Mom if she dies she will not suffer anymore because she left ME...lol...this is after I'm begging for help...two months..I had pancreatitis and gastroparesis and he didn't want to go to the hospital...kid you not, Telling my attorney he treated me like a QUEEN...
People make promises they can’t keep quite often, even when they don’t mean to
Indeed
I’m so over this dating crap. But I love your advice Johnathon.
All the time unfortunately its predominantly the men that love to dive into empty promises land.
So true, people run away and jump to conclusions instead of talking about the issues.
Loved this. Very funny and informative😁
My last relationship I picked Up quickly that he was not interested anymore. Less communication, family excuses. So I asked him straight and I confirmed what I already knew.
Love the approach of treating my man. Most men don't allow it but I am a firm believer of sharing. So thanks for giving me this excellent line to show him how much i appreciate him paying for everything. Great Video Jonathon!
I hate when people refer to intercourse as "getting laid." Its so demeaning to a beautiful & spiritual coming together. Just my opinion.
Mutual Effort! It takes two to tango. I’m done being passive and waiting. I’m going full throttle and if he likes me great if not I’m not chasing. Jonathan you’re amazing.
WOW, thank you 😊
Rule #1 is never give a friend or a bf a husband privilege until you are sure he is the one. Period!
Love that!👍🏼
I'm so glad I found your channel. I'm a widow and recently saw the widower of my late best friend at a family function. For some strange reason we both felt an electric energy between us. We are both shocked. But we are dear friends who have known each other for 42 years....so....we will see. We have great communication, trust, and comfort with each other already.
Good for you Helen it's ok to love again 💕
@@Sharon-777 several widowed friends of mine married other widows they had known for years. They are happy.
Why waste time trying to vet strangers when someone with whom there is mutual trust and care is right there?
Don't assume there's nothing to learn. But part of the groundwork has already been laid... @@genxx2724
all of this is so true. I noticed it with signs like:
1) texts went from good morrning, and good night with texts in between to fewer and fewer per day, to going entire days without a text or call
2) texts were less emotional
3) not responding to my questions or when I shared news of my life, songs, articles etc over text. Seems like he didnt even read them.
4) When I texted that I was feeling down or going through a rough time he suggested I go for a walk and "walk it out" where as in the past he would have called and talked with me about it. Even texts where I explicitly asked for his help or advice would get ignored.
5) After we would get together and be intimate, plans we had for subsequent dates the next day would suddenly become very inconvenient or forgotten or there would be some excuse why they couldnt happen.
6) Little things he used to do to show he cared like walking me to my car after a visit, he was now too busy, too tired, had too much work.
7) Didnt look me in the eye during sex.. didnt return words of affection.. Attributed our bond to "dopamine" chemicals in our brain.
Once I started paying attention to these small signs of neglect and uncaring, I decided I needed and wanted more and I was going to stop settling for breadcrumbs.. It's been 2 weeks now of no contact. Thank you Jonathan for your (sometimes obnoxious) but always on the mark videos and advice to make me see the light and see his behaviour for what it truly was. It is really validating when I hear it in your videos and gives me the strength to keep going with the no contact and not cave for my desire to see him (despite it all I DO misshim!)
Watched a video about childhood neglect crappy childhood. Hooked on breadcrumbs means you're like the kid waiting for your mom or dad to come home & pay attention to you. Many do this and when a person is good to you then they get labelled as too nice ! Make sense ??
@@AZ-hi2mg im currently going thru the same exact things u listed. …im starting no contact today.
It’s okay to be a person who attaches too quickly or get hooked. Just time to recognize it and not let it control the show
I am one of the kind. It’s hard to take back control and let go and forget…
Thank you!! This is the first straight talk from a male, concerning relationships! And yes, I’ve done healing work!!
If my man don’t want me that’s fine,, I can move on forward easier because I don’t beg for Love,, I love myself too much than worrying about man don’t want me !!
OH MY GOD! You're speaking my language!! I feel so validated by your sharing! I've often felt like I'm "too much" or "expecting too much" from guys I've dated. I'm glad to hear you say that it's ok to share that I want emotional connection and a LTR! BTW, I'm not a princess. Thank you sooooo much!!
I'm so glad I watched this! I'm fully me at all times and people tell me, I'm "too much too soon"...I always respond with the right person won't feel that way...I didn't need validation for being me, but it was nice to hear someone else agrees with me!
I just got chills when you said you lost your son. Mom lost 4 & told me at a you d age that she learned in counseling: that grief is harder than any breakup anyone can ever bring. I am praying for you Jonothan, God is holding your hands & helping you to help other heal others Ever
So
Grateful
For your sage advice. 🤲
A men. He can't wait to hear how my day went and wants to help me improve it if he can. He plans our dates and he hopes I will be impressed or at least enjoy myself. He totally wouldn't tell me what or where we were going and in the end.... It was so sweet ❤️. He took me to a musical concert, he paid for my tickets and everything, he took me to a fancy restaurant and a fun center, and took me to sight seeing lookout. It was like he couldn't do enough for me he wanted to show me the world 🌍. He is so sweet 😍
I don't understand when you say "he paid for my tickets and everything"
Did you expect otherwise?
@@Cekatu in the past relationships I always had to pay something
@@tammycooper625 Tammy sweetheart, please don't do that anymore. Dating is a man's opportunity to court yOu. HE wants yOu, and he proves himself through courtship... which includes, being a gentleman; treating you with respect and kindness; using HIS resources and spending HIS money on you; planning dates; wining and dining you; going out of his way to earn your love, respect and admiration; initiating contact between dates; allowing you to peacefully be the glorious woman you are while he works to be the winner of all men.... so that HE can win the prize - that's yOu!
Paying for dates is helping a man to court and win yOu. Why would you do that? Your role is to look good, be fun, playful and a little firtatious... and be engaging and pleasant company.... all while evaluating him. Thats it. If he can't or not willing to pay for dates how can you trust he will provide for the family (one day)? How do you judge his level of generousity?
Unfortunately many male dating coaches advise women to pay their share of dates. (They will also tell you to put out on first date) They are trying to make things easy for men. Earning a woman should never be easy for a man, so don't buy into it.
Here is a script next time you are expected to pay for e.g dinner. Say it in your sweetest most feminine voice, with the saddest look in your eyes:
"I'm sorry, but I was under the impression that you really liked me; thought highly of me, and saw me as a valued woman, that you were attracted to. So now I feel completely disappointed that you don't want to pay for our date. (Pause. Take out your money. Put it on the table) Guess I had the wrong impression. (Get up and leave.)
@ Tammy Cooper You're a lucky gal. Good for u. !!!!!!
When a man will never let you know where you're going and only wants to take you to places that he wants to take you to, it makes me wonder a bit if he's taking you to places that he wants to go to, but is looking for someone to go with him so he doesn't have to go by himself. That may not necessarily be his true reason, but there's a possibility and it is worth thinking about and either decide which way it truly is: one way or the other.
We give our power away, because we are taught that is what men want. When we come off strong, confident and in control, we are too manly, too much yang. So we learn to hang back and wait, to be in our yin energy and then we end up giving away our power. It's a delicate balance. Typically, men push relationships forward physically and women add the emotional support and depth. I never pursued men or tried to push them into sex with me, I just don't operate that way. It feels very counter to how I was raised in American society in the 1980's. The answer lies in being authentic to ourselves as women. Knowing that deep down we have power and we need to make sure that even when we do lean toward our feminine energy, we need to know when to assert ourselves and stand up for ourselves so that we get the respect we deserve. Ladies, you can be in your feminine energy and thrive. You must make sure to stand up for yourself when necessary and express your feelings. If your partner doesn't take action to support you in the relationship, then you know it's time to walk away when you are not getting the respect you deserve! Life is too short to tolerate poor treatment!!
That’s what I did.
Feminine doesn’t mean weak any guy who needs that to feel manly is nit someone to stick around with. You don’t need to lean into weakness. That’s just pure Sexism.
Not everything everyone tells you is good just bc they say it. Even parents.
Best comment ever!❤
That conversation only overwhelms the person who is not looking for the same relationship as you are … I prefer the honesty from the get go & find out if the man is looking for the same thing as I. 🌺
You were on fire today! Loved the spirit, the F-bombs and the stand you take for us all in the dating world!
Thanks... 🤗
“But Jonathon… but Jonathon…” I have learned so much from you. I am a regular on Quora, usually answering many questions on romance, relationships, dating online and off, and your talking points/relating points are light years ahead of so many people wandering around out there in confusion, anxiety, with no clue as to getting what they want, or even knowing what that “want” actually is!
Well, I was married for 14 years and the my husband startet to change so much, until I finally couldn't bare it anymore and I just had to leave. I needed to bekomme myself again.
Interesting. I heard him say "you should get away from me " . I learned to believe what one says and what one does. believe it the first time
I feel so blessed to have come across this video. Thank you immensely for the wealth of resources. I'm on a personal journey of self discovery, healing and refinement and I am going to read everyone of the books your referenced. I'm sick and tired or being sick and tired! Blessing and Peace!
Excellent!!! Completely on point!! I know in the far away past when I was younger and learning about mechanics of relationships and developing emotional maturity I know that sometimes I would know that a man wasn’t into me but I didn’t really want to see it, I’m so happy to be at the point in life that I’m emotionally mature. My sincere condolences for your loss of your son. I do love that you always talk about him and that you have a scholarship in his honor. It’s often very emotional to talk about our child who is no longer with us but it’s very healing as well.
HELLO LOVELY I CAN INTRODUCE YOU TO THE SAME POWERFUL RELATIONSHIP RESTORER WHO HELPED ME TO RECOVER BACK MY EX FIANCEE. HE CAN ALSO HELP YOU GET BACK WITH YOURS AND MAKE YOUR RELATIONSHIP TO BLOSSOM FOREVER...
Send him a message to meet your soul mate. Go back to your ex. Manifest your specific person and also save your marriage from divorce.🌈🌈🌈💕🌹🌹
I love that you break the guy code, and let the women know everything about a man and what they think in the ways they think
I learned that you shouldnt bite right away when the men are "fishing".
A man has to hunt for a woman,at least if he really wants something.I think its beautiful when men have a lot of patience to eventually meet the woman of their life.The person who crossed my path in the past had this patience.
I thought he was actually going to expand on those points. What if the guy complains about his life circumstances but still doesn't use them as his excuse to break up?
@Jonathon Aslay, w all due respect, telling a guy you like him & asking him on a date & paying for it, is just as bad as learning too far back! You want to be the prize! A prize doesn't offer itself it has to be earned.
Communication is key when that stops or changes, need to just move on.
Kudos to you Jonathan putting it out there. I’ve been following your advise and it’s a lot better and less exhausting. You are resinating . You helped me be more expressive. Thank you. 😊
Awe... thank you 😊
The hell with the book
I honestly do not know how in the heck I got here. Lol. I was listening to 80's love songs while washing my hair after cooking and cleaning.
I don't know who this man is but I can tell you, a lot of what he has stated in this video is true.
I was taught by my parents to value myself and my body and with that, I knew not to give it up within 5 minutes of dating. I was taught, to get to know him,his family and his friends and more importantly to be in love before sex is involved.
I was taught to keep God and prayer in my life and my relationship(s).
And with that, I was happily married for 25 years until my beloved's death in 2009. He was an awesome communicator, very involved in asking me all the right questions very early on. He was so in tuned to what I was feeling and my everyday needs. We knew early on that we wanted forever together. He was tenderly patient and waited until I was ready for love making. It was everything It was suppose to be.
I am blessed beyond measure to have experienced such a 💘 during my lifetime.
It would have been ruined had we moved too fast physically and not spent time having hours upon hours of long extended conversations over periods of time.
Heart S, This is classic. It is what most women want. Men also but sometimes are skittish.
You are very lucky to have met such a man!
What a blessing God gave to u. I am sorry for your loss also 🙏
This is excellent. I agree with the courting idea. It's nice to have some courtship behavior but get the foundational ideas out in the open first. If your values and goals mesh, then the romance can begin.
Connected but no intentionality
I’m not your priority
I’m conservative
What r your intentions
What’s you life goals
Not a friend with benefits only
Bye 👋 thanks for sharing your some times
You don’t know me
Not a game player
Truthfully I’m sorry 😢 but
No need from any one
The Almighty has my back
I wish I would have heard this advice years ago .thank you so much for your honesty and help
I agree with much about you say..I think it's all about integrity accountability responsibility,awareness,boundaries,acceptance and willingness to be committed to having the others best interest in your heart without giving up your loving essence
Thanks...
Love that courting is for intention to get married,committed,true love,not for selfish reasons which is why relationships fail. There are 3 in a relationship... you,me,God in the relationship
I compare the iceberg to a volcano.. The unresolved issues, anger,etc
underneath,subconscious and is the lava eruption.lol
Actually you are a well groomed man; well educated and how you communicate is genuine: hope you find the One!! I tried over the years looking for someone but nothing yet!!
Jonathan you’re so funny and charming and thank you for your bluntness and honesty to help women. I will keep watching and learning how to fall in love with the right man.❤️
Jonathan, I'm married and my husband has moved out of my bedroom physically and sexually and is blaming this situation all on me! He treats me like a bad child. And punishes me if he thinks I have misbehaved! I'm about to be 65 years old and I think that he's going mental
i love this man for life and i will never give up and i dont want him to hate me after 35 year
Hi @Jonathon ☺ the "after dating me get married" happened to me all my life. I believe that 1) I was not ready for a relationship; 2) these men were not ready for me; 3) I have a power as serial healer, I guess you have it too, and are sublimating it through your work.
Me 2
Thank you
2 weeks on my own !
Appreciated your call!!
You can do it!
Amen Jonathan! I love your candid honesty. Thank you so much!
Jonathan, any woman would be thankful for your sincerity
before her mind and heart are all tangled. Your sincerity is your flag, and it will take you to an appreciative soul. God bless you 🙏
Hmm, i feel you overwhelmed her. Like when I go out, I don’t want the guy to be thinking about moving in or a serious relationship I just want to get to know him first if he’s already in that mindset that’s way too fast for me. I feel that any woman no matter how busy she might be you have a lot of things going on if she has a connection with you she’s going to make time but if you’re already meeting with the mindset of I want to be serious with someone she’s going to put the brakes on. I want the guy to be open to relationship but not eager and there’s a fine line
I think we all want to be SEEN and then, chosen. The guys who move so fast are in a hurry to meet THEIR needs. They are being intentional about their needs only. No "we" at all.
I agree.
You are soooo right. I love everything about your delivery. This means you are straight and honest.
This video feels so intelligent and informative to listen to. Everything feels very fitting to what I already know on some level and in certain ways in particular.
I always say know who you are dealing with from the get-go and in circumstances taking place socially.
Anticipating that if someone misses the social ques because of only knowing how to be in their own head, or what not, then it seems harder to connect with the overall bigger picture.
Sometimes we really do have to live and learn at the best of times...
HelloJonathon---I just recently discovered your chanel----My life has been a cornacopia of romance , adventure , sadness, beauty, Eros harmony and loss followed by
intermittent pauses of solitude--- Each episode has gifted me with deeper meanings in life--In a way "You can't get it wrong..." You are an inspiring
source of deep intelligence and love--- May every individual never give up their heart's desire---because that desire has been planted there by divine design
Your empathetic advice is like a laser of empowerment to to all women seeking clarity in this crazy and also wonderful world.....
I find it unbelievable that some women would expect the man to pay on every date; that is so unreasonable! I remember a few years back,I dated someone briefly ( didn't lead to sex thank goodness!) and we had a nice meal in London and the bill came to £90 roughly 120 American dollars.I offered to pay and he said " good idea,seeing as you earn more money than I do".I couldn't believe this as he could have just said thanks or let's split the bill.I use to have this with guys who think you earn good money,you pay! Even if I had a rich boyfriend, I would insist on taking turns in paying as anything else goes against my principals.
Offering to pay for dinner, shows care and investment into the relationship.
Just being a warm body can look desperate to a narcissist.
Nice and revelatory Jonathan.....a lot of practical points to take to heart.
COMMUNICATION VERY important in long term relationships and is akways important in any relationship from both sides, thank you for your info, keep up Coach👍✝️
A man that knows how to court women with intentionality for committed partnership,, is classy and quality.
I’ve been done with men since my 20s and it only took one. You can tell a man straight up if they are ready for a relationship and they will lie to your face. No guilty whatsoever of wasting your time.
Again a great amount of information. Yes, amazing ideas. Better questions, trust, communication is the key .... and I never used to care about any of that years ago. I'm finding currently I need to put out what I expect and ask questions. Yes some men don't want to answer or say ok yes we will talk about this..when ?? 😮
First time here "you crack me up too 😊 so awesome to listen to a healthy male with deep insight
I started a relationship in March. He just broke it off. I was very clear with him about creating a friendship and we did quite a bit of travel together and I have heard a lot about his childhood wounds. At first he said he was looking for commitment but he has just met a guy at work quite a bit younger who is a bachelor. I think he has realized that he really didn’t want to be monogamous.
Hi Jonathan 😄. These are some great insights! I know that it doesn’t describe any of the content that you went into. However, my favorite line that you stated was, “This is the reality as I see it.”
Need to listen to this 3x today, J is literally describing my situation w a divorced man with kids.
Hi Jonathan, you’re a “life saver”! All you said in this video applied to me. For some reason I thought you were some old friend who kept telling me, “I told you so!”. Thank you very much! Keep these kinds of topics coming! Do you have conferences?
I love the photo hanging on the wall behind you, of your mom and dad. I would buy a frame with that photo as the paper background. lol
Love that! That photo was taken in the 50's. Both my parents have passed away now.
I made him wait over 3 months , I wanted to know who HE WAS with all clothes on ....I take relationship very seriously .... that was almost 8 yrs ago ......
Sex is not a big deal ...friendship and respect for each other is better when you get older
Jonathan, I am very sorry for your loss.
Thank you for your clear communication.
I didn’t become intimate with my boyfriend unless he wanted a relationship with only me.. why WAit? I did it right away.,.
100 hours of face to face time before sex is great advice. And this should be one on one, quality time together. I approve this message 😊
I disagree with no communication in between dates. It was happening in my 2-month relationship and i “trained” him to text me more. He obliged and so far has been doing it. It was clear he liked and love me so i was confident enough to tell him that it would make me happy if he text me everyday.
How about no communication between dates and you know they are on match all the while and not texting you.
@@ajm3821drop them asap. Trust me. Any lapse in time and communication, you are not the only person they are talking to. Best of luck ❤
Yes, I'll say Amen... Ahhhhhhh mehhhhn! Ah men! Can't live without 'em. Thank you so much, Jonathan
I've been doing these three things to a guy recently without realizing it. Hoping we can salvage a casual relationship as we get to know each other better, but i think he wants more. There were some flags flying up for both, that gave me strong pause about anything more than a friendship at this point, but have considered it could be a timing issue. The silly thing is, we did not have the simple considerate conversation to see what the other person was looking for !?!
Thank you. Best video on learning how to date and get to know a person that I've ever seen.
Wow, thank you!
I actually met a guy recently organically, via a Meetup group. I did a masculine energy thing because I am a doer. We had a mutual friend. I contacted this friend and asked for the dude's number. But when I texted this man, who happens to be a lot older, I got a negative response. I was puzzled because I am used to taking initiative. I talked to a girlfriend and she explained that older men might be turned off by what I did. Sigh. I am so tired of thinking someone likes me but I have to wait for him to ask me out! Meantime the ones who might ask me out are so boring to me. How do you stay motivated? I'm ready to throw in the towel for quite a long time.
I feel you Lisa
Definitely don’t give up. I was the one who made the first move. He’s older & had no problem with it. If he’s the right one it will work out.
Hi Lisa 😀. That totally sounds like frustrating scenarios. Have you ever mentally prepared yourself for a date to go well? I wonder what stories your mind is telling itself, subconsciously? I promise that my curiosities are coming from a heart-centered space, to help you bring awareness of your own mental status, in setting it up for what you truly desire. Having a growth-mindset or knowing that everything is going to work out for you, while being unattached to outcome, brings a whole different essence on a date, allowing you to be more of yourself, while being able to be comfortable with uncertainty.
What about calling the next guy youre interested in, rather than texting. I'm 52 and I would sooooo rather talk than text, any day!!!
Were you planning to take him to dinner?
How refreshing tell it like it is and no sugar coating it. Thank you for your honesty and wisdom and common sense.
Thank you coach Jonathan!! Love your directness with humor.. sooo funny… 😍
Totally agree, Jonathan...
Definitely a lack of Intentionality, Direction & Commitment..
This is really eye opening. Will be watching this again for sure
I have such a natural personality and attitude of just being myself is a man magnet. I sometimes would like to turn it off.Because I am always finding myself saying geez lol
I love your very clear, common sense approach to life and love in a healthy and productive manner. Thank you very much! :-)
Omg best coaching truth to point..Open your ears Ladys..
I love your Directness...
You have no idea how just one comment you made has really helped me , thank you
Yay!
I feel proud of myself so the other day I told my man that I did not climax during sex, and then about 12 hours later we started making out and he gave it to me proper and even engaged in telling me how hot I am for an older woman while trusting me and making eye contact. Thank you for telling me to speak up.
Jennifer Telfer It's good that you did that, but this is TMI, unless I'm just getting old! ☺
@@cyndigooch1162 I agree. TMI . Not for social media platform but in the bedroom domain . Not low self esteem 😌 behaviour .
@@cyndigooch1162 Im a very open honest person sorry if that is to much for you.
Gladwell is great. I was on a dating app and a man showed up. I knew someone from his town, someone I trusted. I fed her the info, and she said he was a great guy!!!! And she was right. Did it give me an advantage? Why not? And we had an amazing amount of common interests etc.
Thanks love you Jonathan. just spoken to a guy and he asked if we could discuss all topics including sex.
I just said goodbye and good luck. Saw right through him!!! ❤❤❤
This is amazing how quickly youre able to get rid of the wrong guys quickly and swiftly. Wish we were taught this at school.
This is not all new to me, however now I have a better understanding of the males mind and know how to protect myself against these predators. All thanks to you and your help😊💗
Sorry for your loss of your son. I know that's hard and hurts. I lost mine child too.
I don't even make it past the talking stage anymore. 🤣🤣 cause i ask them within the first 2 weeks about what they are looking for and in our 40's they just want sex and most of them i find out are married ewww think i'll stay alone. Would love to find someone but i'm done. None want commitment or even long term just casual sex.
You are Revolutionary! I appreciate being told how men think and how they process in their brain. Also knowing that they don't know why they are doing what they're doing. Love bombing, then loss of hormones after intimacy. Makes sense to me. I love when you Breathe......so cool, its telling how much effort you are implementing and now I can deeply breathe gaining the knowledge. Relief!
I love how you can be crass you can be
You are the father I never had! Thank you 😊 you keep it real like bro too
Thank you Jonathan for your honest and accurate account of the times we live in !
Very helpful video again Jonathon. That part at the end about being attached to a fantasy unfortunately resonates. Thank you for the "tough love". Really greatful. 🙏❤
You're very welcome
Amen, Jonathan. Amen. I love your passion when you’re telling us all these. Need that 😂
I think that when someone truly love you they are free to share and it will not be a burden to open your purse or wallet
During one of my semesters with counseling/therapy I shared with my designated therapist that my new bf was so sexy and romantic, such an improvement over my current husband who I was currently trying to unmarry. His response shocked me because I never thought of it this way:
He said "You think the new bf is "better" for you because of the chemistry involved, better than your soon to be ex-husband, but actually, you just "like" him better, but hat doesn't mean he is a "better" choice for you."
I think of this every time I hear you say that "chemistry" is a very poor reason to start a relationship".
OMG!!!!! From a fantasy perspective!!! YYYYYYYEEEEEEEESSSSSS! Entitled! Princess!!! Outstanding!! You nailed that shit between the eyes! And I am a heterosexual woman. “Just showing up in all your . . .” Bravo! WELL perceived and described. I just subscribed. Respect
Keep up the good work Jonathon! Ur awesome and I feel like I've known u for yrs. With ur personality ur channel will really prosper. Your real, absolutely a breath of fresh air.. 🙂
WOW, thank you 😊