Can you please clarify if anyone has been eligible for a free call that didn’t tick the boxes to say they have $450 for a one off session or were able to gather $3000 toward therapy? As after filling in the questionnaire it was deemed by one of your team a call wouldn’t benefit me at this time. I totally get that. In the name of radical honesty I think the tag is a little misleading.
I am an older woman. Look younger then my age .and am very well....I have made friends,with a msn on line ,and it has beveloled into our feelings afevery strong with tach other. My problem is,:I was married for 62 yrs to one mad ,he passed. And now I livexwith my Daughter and husband . They say that,ever nsn in line is,a zcsmmer. .tbis man us mot . He us a General in ,the, army. And will retire soon. And they have en Ven put parental control on my phone ,so I can not talk to him. And I am very unhappy now.
@@alicejones2972 Hmmm, he may very well be a scammer. They're always good looking and in uniform or oil men or spies or something heroic, large, and in charge. However, your kids shouldn't be treating you like a child. You can talk to him. Tell them that you will not send him any money. Just don't send him any money, for ANY reason. NOT ONE DOLLAR. NO MATTER WHAT EXCUSE HE COMES UP WITH. If he asks for money from you, even one dollar, dump him.
My boyfriend revealed to me recently that he fell in love with me on our first date. This was 5 years ago. I don't think he fell in love with me, he was fascinated and attracted sure, but love...that takes much longer in my opinion even though we talked in depth for weeks prior to meeting in person. On a side note: My first husband was very successful and a high earner, I left him due to infidelity. I married exactly what my parent's raised me to marry, it did not work out regardless of how much money he made. A man with wealth is not all what it's cracked up to be. I'd much rather have a man who has depth and a true connection like I have now.
I totally agree with your assessment all the way around. Very successful high earners often believe money is the great equalizer -- but it's not. So glad to hear you have found the happiness you and your special someone deserve, and congratulations for not settling. Infidelity is the MAXIMUM DEAL BREAKER! You are blessed with common sense and a great chance at happiness : )
I married a poor man who was all about me. 15 years later he cheated. So it's all chance. They have to keep choosing you everyday and we don't get to control that.
@@blueseptember2174 Sorry....your Right...you never know what the TRUE person is, till after the wedding, what happens in the dark will come out to the light no one can mock Jeh God, if they loved God and follow his direccion, we would have peace..
This is a HUGE issue in relationships now. Too many men admit to not actually liking women-instead, they think of women as providers of sex and as servants (cooking, cleaning). It’s no wonder that less people are dating anymore, never mind getting married. The best romantic relationships are between couples who are best friends AND lovers.
So agree!! Men have taught me that I don't really "need" them...I can and have been making it on my own even when I was in a relationship...my ex narcissist only wanted me around for cleaning, cooking, taking care of his yard and his house...he had rages, lied, silent treatment, gaslighting, a master manipulator...so, men have taught me, I don't need ya!!! I would rather be by myself...
Hi we need too stop the blame game it starts with your environment father and mother were their love at home communication teaching so if no you had too fine love in all the wrong people maybe their were hunt in those individual you really can not determine any individual only God knows our pain and circumstances in life just be integrity about any situation respect yourself stop finding a solution in SEX Jackson Mississippi Love ✌
I lost myself recently trying to make a relationship work. It made all my stuff scream! I finally pulled out as I was tired of crying and being sad ALL THE TIME! My heart is now free to get on with my life!
*It's incredible how a few well-chosen words can linger in someone's mind. Let's remember the impact our words can have and use them to strengthen connections.*
It took me years of trying to be the “perfect woman” and STILL getting my heart broken before I realized that our quirks, neuroses, imperfections, etc are the things that make us endearing to the right person. You can’t fall in love with a perfect human bc 1) they don’t exist, and 2) perfection isn’t relatable. Our insecurities, our frailty, our neediness will be the thing that the right someone finds precious about us. It’s also important to remember that “no matter how attractive or wealthy a person is, someone, somewhere, is sick of their shit” 😂
You know...someone I dated, in the past, and I had a conversation recently and he told me the same thing. I didn't let my whole personality out and had my walls up. It made it hard for people to get to know me and for me to be open. The same thing just ended my most recent relationship.
So glad I listened to this! I was married for 22 1/2 years and my husband and I were on the same page the moment we met (in person-we were pen pals 😊) He died unexpectedly 16 months ago. I ventured out in the dating world and wow, things are different. I have now met a guy that I really like and has brought the smile back to my face (my daughter has noticed it and so have friends). He even asked me “Have you ever felt such a strong connection?” I asked him if he wanted the truth (he said yes) and I responded “Yes I have, once. And I married him.” Well he didn’t run away. I want to feed the relationship but not throw the buffet at it 🤣🤣 So I appreciate your openness and great words of advice.
This is resonating with me! I met my former boyfriend in a book store looking for a new copy of Seat of the Soul. My copy was destroyed in a my home when my ex husband burned our house down. I dated that man for 3 years, he helped me heal from the pain of divorce. We broke up amicably. And I met my true soul mate after The break up and I couldn't have loved my Soul mate unless my prior boyfriend taught me to love myself again ❤
What a good relationship needs: 1. A strong connection early on...an affinity for each other, like you've known this person a long time. 2. Intentionality from both people. Use radical honesty when you explain what you want, your past experiences and deficiencies. Be authentic, vulnerable and transparent. 3. Be introspective, do personal development work. Know yourself. 4. Genuinely like someone as a person and TELL them "I like you." Don't be afraid to communicate with each other. As usual, Jonathon, this is all amazing advice! God bless you. Hugs to all who are looking for a life partner, I pray you find what you need.
This was eerily calculated… it was exactly what I needed to hear today. This video came exactly the moment after I received a final farewell from a guy I’ve invested for 9 month. I was sincerely being vulnerable and expressing how I felt because I really cared but knowing the connection was not mutual I decided to say my last words and wish him well. Expressing it was for my own benefit to get closure.
Absolutely, you have told the truth about relationships and childhood trauma. I spent 24 years in therapy (off and on) and at 72, this is the first time in my life where I feel I can be just the person I like and feel free to be “me”!
Congrats! Better late than never. Why to go! Just be you. You are enough & worthy of what's best and whatever works for you. And the cool part is that it's also ok to just do it all your own ways. With an open mind, heart & spirit, I send you positive, healthy, happy vibes! Celibrating your authenticity with you🎉
Hi @lsp1950 I am older than you and just lately realized a childhood trauma that kept creeping into my head and I kept pushing away - I realized it had to do with my feelings towards my father (who sadly is gone so I hope he understands now) and that it was about his not protecting me - and possibly blaming him blaming me (partly), for something that happened to me, when I was preschool - which I can see now that it was because of his father's treatment probably towards his family...generational sins is what I am calling it - time to change that!! My friend, I shared this with recently, because I felt that he restored my trust in the opposite sex, by being kind and sticking up for me - (and he kissed my in the cloak room in Gr. 4) and led me to have a liking for boys - he is a kind and a loyal life time friend - yes, that I like very much! (too complicated to explain here)Thanks for your sharing...
Hi Jonathon...I've got one for you. My guy is Autistic, and went through a very difficult childhood. He thanked me once for seeing him in a way he can't see himself, because all I see is his genius and creativity, his sense of humor, spirituality, and responsibility. He is amazing. Love your videos!
I was seeing a guy with autism for a while and I definitely appreciated his uniqueness and the way he viewed the world. I miss him but he has other issues he needs to address.
I vowed to stop dating last February and it was the best decision I have made for myself in a long time. I hope I’m saying that I’m happy like you after 7! 🙌🏼
The book "Attached" was the catalyst to understanding myself and set me off on a journey to self-discovery. Many reads followed , unveiling layers of trauma, and how to heal from them. Definitly recommend this book to begin understanding your roots.
Funny I said this to my bf last night. We were talking about some dislikes in relationship and I said "even if this relationship sometimes make me feel not so happy, I really like you. A lot! And you know its more than the word "like". I think its important to let the other person to know that even if things are not always good in relationship, that doesn't change how you feel about them. Its important to speak about things but never make the other person feels like they suck. Thank you Jonathon 🙏
I felt this in my soul. I’ve done the work, healed my traumas and I genuinely love myself. I didn’t do all that work to allow someone into my life who doesn’t love me the way I love me ❤
“When Harry Met Sally” is my favorite movie. I once fell in love with a “high maintenance” man. To me, it’s not really high maintenance. It’s the things that make him feel good and secure. Lots of interaction (quality time/quantity time) and yes, that unpacking. It’s his empathy, deep thinking, wicked wit, corny dry humor, creativity, and natural curiosity make him not only him, It makes him incredibly attractive, even when he exasperatingly argues a point (and he is wrong), even when he’s being Eyeore-ish. He’s a beautiful person. He’s a big TeddyBear. Hoping he feels love and peace in his current LD relationship. Those things meant for you, find you. It all works out.
This is resonating, yes. The remorse goes on and on. My mother was alcoholic; I became alcoholic. I loved and stonewalled my two sons as she did me. I quit drinking 19.5 years ago. We've talked about it; I've acknowledged and asked forgiveness for the hurt I caused them. They both seem to forgive me, even while I know they still struggle to believe women will love them and stay with them. It breaks my heart. They are so worthy and sweet.
Takes a big person to admit that. I hope your sons understand that doing exactly what you did you are breaking the cycle. Good for you. All the best to you.
I don't want to "make" a guy think about me, or "make" him do or feel "anything". He will be what he is on his own, and then I will see his genuineness and authentic self. Ladies, this is the best way to find out who the man is, without using coercion. You want to know who and how he is authentically because that's what you are ultimately going to get. Don't try to "make" him think about you.
When you "raise yourself" or experience inconsistent love/affection/acceptance you end up in the anxious v avoidant, fearful avoidant or become jaded dismissing and pushing people away or sabotage connections. We have to relate to ourselves, accept ourselves and grow into the relationship we've dreamed of... with ourselves! It's the best and most fulfilling relationship you will have and LASTs a True Lifetime!
Everything you say resonates with me. Everything I once stood for was demolished by people who told me I was insecure or needy, so I adjusted. Big mistake. After watching a few of your posts. I now realize that I can be the loveable caring me. And its okay to have anxieties. Thank you kind Sir! Hugs!
Definitely resonates with me! 30 year marriage just ended after he had multiple affairs, making me feel undesirable, unworthy, and unloved. My new relationship has already had these issues show. I was fast to react to any tiny change, getting attached way too fast and hard, and being very insecure. Luckily, he is great at de-escalating me when I get crazy.
If only I could find someone who is as aware as what you are describing. I couldn’t have described it all any better. I am in search of someone who is continually seeking to raise their consciousness. High vibration through intention and what I call “living life on purpose”. This is where the intention comes in. A solid relationship embodies all of this and so much more. Finding someone who thinks on such a deep level is not an easy feat. Sending light and love to all 💫
New follower here. I wish I'd met you 30 years ago. I've been through a few failed relationships in my 62 years of life and I could've used this advice. I probably would've made better choices. In 2019, I divorced after nearly 33 years from a very selfish, controlling and manipulative man who I could never please and who was also a "man of the cloth!!!" I didn't like him at all. He was a true narcissist but it took me years to realize what I was dealing with. I did a lot of research about my situation 19 years into the marriage and haven't stopped til this day.
I appreciate you so very much. Your are so open & transparent. I love that you share your personal experiences with us. That is what makes your posts so rare in content. Much needed and embraced by me! TY for being vulnerable with us. This post specifically was needed to be heard by me this AM! Thank you! ❤️
So resonates with me …. I don’t have time to change myself for anyone (I’m 71) after illness & a horrific breakup I’ve healed & ventured into dating (15 years) I have a strong connection & I really LIKE this Man … he got me when he cried telling me about the best thing his father ever told him! I’m enjoying our friendship & being vulnerable about my insecurities about my mastectomy & how it has prohibited me from going forward. Not an issue for him 😊…. Although we will be long distance communicating for awhile … I can tell our relationship is growing from our conversations & sharing everything… I’m glad we have this time away to just TALK . Although I miss those blue eyes in the morning :) Thanks Jonathon 🤗
Thank you Jonathon. You are adorable and so authentic! After my husband of 30 years died and my significant other of 6 years died, I just thought I would never be with anyone. Love continues, love permeates, and wants to filter into other lives. Now I am dating another man and being just who I am If we could learn to love ourselves, we can love at any age and keep on connecting. Relationships is what it's all about! Thank you for your honestly and loving heart. Diane
This was a lovely video and resonated deeply. I was a fearful avoidant for most of my adult life until I turned inward for three years and did the deep inner work to heal. I watch a LOT of videos on these topics - personal development, relationships, attachment, etc. Yours stands out for your positive, warm energy and uplifting vibe. It’s very soothing to the viewer, who is probably coming across your video in moments of fear or uncertainty. Keep doing what you’re doing. I’m hitting the subscribe button 😊
I do understand myself and that is why I stayed alone for 7 years after having an unhealthy relationship with a childhood friend. Not marrying after the kids dad died was for them not for me. This person I let be an exception because of our history, I allowed it to blind me. After, I realized that having standards just pushes people away from me and I needed to accept it and get on with myself even if it meant alone. Being alone is just as hard for me since I've been alone most of my life and not by choice. Now this wonderful person happens to me and both our fears have bubbled up when we have become vulnerable. For the most part we have helped each other gracefully. Other times we have stumbled or been impatient or just not knowledgeable. We are learning.
Good morning Jonathon.. Thank You for being so open and honest. You really put your real life to show others the process of the actual feeling we all are feeling , but are too afraid to open up and verbalizing it. Thank you for being so transparent and allowing people that there are second chances in life. Sometimes we have to kiss a few frogs to get our prince.
This totally resonates. I’ve done so much work in therapy, but being in a “new” relationship has just brought up so many deeper issues that I thought were much more healed. I put new in parentheses because a childhood friend I’ve known for 34 years reached out to me when he heard I was divorced and we started dating. I’ve tried to nuke the relationship a few times because it feels so vulnerable and that’s a terrifying feeling when you’ve been through a divorce. I’ve prayed a lot and I really think God’s trying to allow me to sit in the feeling so I can find deeper healing (at some point). Thanks very much for articulating this! I didn’t have the right words before!
This made my day. This video also made me worry that perhaps in this time and age, men my age are no longer truly themselves because they don’t have the patience to know who they are, and are not serious enough to want something meaningful and longterm. With the end of each relationship, we lose so much of ourselves, that going forward we have nothing left to give anymore. It feels a bit hopeless to me to hope anymore that I ll find a lifelong companion. Thank you for this video tho, Jon. This was a sliver of hope.
This episode, at least the first 15 minutes should be shown to high school classes and in wellness college classes! This stuff needs to be taught since most are not getting this training at home! It sets your teaching apart from the other coaches and vlogs. I like you, Jonathan! And if you read the other comments you can see a lot of other people do too.
This video really helped me. As a 25 year old woman with little dating experience, I hear such conflicting advice online about how to navigate it. It's lead me to overthinking so much that I'm not being present. Your videos have really helped me to ground myself, and remember that it's about genuine connection. That someone will like me for me and I won't have to stress about saying the wrong thing or appearing in a certain way. Thank you for radiating love and for your honesty. It truly has helped my mindset so much❤
I know what this feels like and i have my shares of up's and downs. No more. God loves me and i feel stronger today and it has made me the person i am. I like my self. 😊
Best relationship guidance channel for people in general of both sexes of any age. But especially for 50 plus. Currently getting to know someone platonically as we have a good spiritual & sincere connection after I accosted them telling them I liked them because they have good countenance. 😂 No phones or tech but face to face. So much better. Yes this definitely resonates with me! Thank you
There's so many people running around out there with big gaping holes in them that they're trying to fill with people. With what they think they're supposed to go for. What they think they're supposed to want, what they think will fill the void and make THEM feel better. Wealthy partners, good looking partners, popular partners, etc. The "ideal" type. The reality is that those you actually connect with? It's not always so exciting. It's not always that interesting or sexy or cool. But it's real and it's lovely and it feels amazing, a balm on your soul, but that closeness is also terrifying for people who are wounded. You never forget the people you connect with though, so real connection should always be fostered first. This resonated a lot with me.
I at 56 and 2 years of healing, l am dating someone who is intentional, transparent, and consistent. We met online and he is currently overseas, l was concerned because we were so new, but it has been wonderful nothing has changed, l feel so close to him, taking physical out has really given us a chance to know one another.
Thank you for your vulnerability, Jonathon. Yes, we continue to be impacted by our early/first (family) relationships, and past heartbreaks. I can relate to what you are saying. And there's nothing neurotic about processing things! I remember telling my last guy I loved him, but I can't remember if I told him I liked him! And I REALLY liked him! He was my best friend. I hope he knows/knew I liked him. Thank you for your prayers!
Get out of your mind, the ego, and find the real essence of who you are, your soul. It comes from within to find what true happiness really is. Live in the Now and enjoy each moment gifted to us. 🙏
Jonathan this is you, this is me- psalm 139:14. You ARE enough. You ARE worthy. You can always move on, their is always a way out, it was good for me to know this and it relieved my stress levels immensely🎉❤😊.
I really like what you're saying, Jonathan. Forget about the gender mindgames, and just express genuinely to each other what we like about the other, about how you feel when you're with them, how much fun you're having... I really sense your earnestness and care! I like your style a lot! Thank you for what you do. (hug - if that's good with you!)
Thank you for this. My new man and I talk so openly about all of this and are falling in love. It’s so different than anything that came before. He is 42, I am 53. We are all in and leaning towards each other. This is a beautiful chapter of life. I think we both got to the place where we were fine alone and then bam, met each other and there has been no doubt we’re moving in the right direction. It’s so nice to talk about everything so openly and easily. ❤❤❤❤
ditto gals...I am a widow of 15 yrs. & elderly...77..hate to admit it but a young guy moved in across from me 58..>LOL & he brought me over a bowl of home made soup & that started a friendship that ended up making me laugh again...my marriage was not happy & apt. living is lonely & so is growing old ...but we developed a friendship of sorts that is fun...I love these conversations of you ladies are sharing. so many good talks on You Tube...thank you for all the encouragement & God who I give credit for putting ppl in our path...& thanks Jonathon for the topic... Love it. A lot of lonely ppl out there.
@hisgirlmary,9842 I'm glad you are happy. And you deserve to be happy. ❤. My name. Is. Leslie. And I also am a widow. Keep having fun and enjoy your life 😊
I'm sorry that happened to you as a child Jonathan. My parents divorced when I was 11. I lived with my mom and she might lock herself in her room all weekend. I would try to bring her something to eat and ask if she was okay and what I did wrong, but she would be cocoons into her blankets and not respond. I always felt like it was my fault up until recently.
My mom used to hide away in her room too.. not behind a divorce but just hiding i have no idea why. I felt like I raised myself to an extent and I’ve always been the one to resolve things for myself and my brother! Now that we are adults and I have a better relationship with her she gets upset that I don’t come and talk to her about things! I had to explain to her that she taught me to figure it out because I was too afraid of her to knock on her door and talk to her as a kid so I’m trying to work out those behaviors!
This is genuinely resonating with me. Was in an almost 4 year relationship where mental abuse was the norm and that will take away all you sense of worthiness and self love. But now am in extremely early stage of getting to know someone else and am having to relearn the art of self love. Certainly not very easy to do but certainly know I must do it
Jonathon, this is resonating with me... I am going thru this right now!!!! Learning to really pour into myself daily, recognize when to LET GO and LOVE myself, wholeheartedly!
😢going true it right now ,been hurt alot and always seem to screw thing. And today am going through a relationship of 4 years that was the best I ever had but didn't realize my bad action,,I been sexually, physical and mental abuse since am a little girl I always saw abandoned. So now that's push him away so much,told me he think of leaving 😢 I really wanna lurn love and with him for us and our son, am just trying my best to be my best and hopefully change his mind and see am honest of wanted to change my insecurity even if I have to go get professional help
Thank you for making this point! It's refreshing to not play poker or polarity games, but to build trust and comfort with emotional intimacy, being known, being seen, being understood!
Such a beautiful message and video! You reminded me once again to not put another person on a pedestal so much but instead to be and honour yourself. It's true that when we truly accept all parts of ourselves and love the "weird" things about us that set us apart, that we are most attractive to the one who is actually meant for us ❤
The problem I have is every time I think things are going well a guy ghosts me. If I had honestly known certain things about these guys I wouldn't have gone out with either one. My takeaway is taking time for myself and taking time to balance things better. So I can get to know someone better before anything happens
💯 I’ve done A LOT of this work in the last 3 years…I’m finally feeling self-love and understanding what it even IS! I’m finally feeling whole, and not trying to fill an internal void which can never be filled by anything external…For me, I’ve done a lot of self-reflection and introspection and I know my own TRUTH. I always knew it to a degree and did move with more authenticity than most…but, I allowed the perception, of others, what they PROJECTED onto me, to affect my self-worth and self-esteem, even when I knew it wasn’t accurate. Now that I REALLY know my true self, I have learned to deflect all of these projections, because I’m so sure of who I actually AM. And, because of this, I no longer allow another’s inability to SEE me for who I TRULY am, to diminish my own self-worth. It’s also true that there is no true human connection without vulnerability, authenticity, and transparency. Thank you so much for sharing this and spreading your light.❤
The love and understanding, compassion and sheer unabridged honesty you have for humanity, people in general and what and how you compassionately and deliberately share all of this is, for me, testament to the high calibre of human being that YOU truly are. Thank YOU Johnathon (love and respect from Scotland)
My guy and I really like each other as friends! For us, it is what deepened out connection that lead to love. We are besties and love being together because, we genuinely are best friends❤ We didn't need each other to complete ourselves. We were solid individuals. Our strong independent selves shared common interest that led to our strong bond as a couple❤
YES Jonathon it resonates! My mother was very controlling and difficult. Also you mentioned that when we meet someone it feels like we did this before. I believe THAT'S often a feeling we have due to REINCARNATION.
Thanks for addressing this I see many relationship coaches dismissing the idea that people pull away due to fear. Saying oh they just don't like you enough. I have definitely experienced anxiety in dating and my current relationship has been very on off due to him being an avoidant. Very stressful I love him to bits.
get out, they rarely change. was like a weight off my shoulders ditching my avoidant, the only good to come out of it was that I learnt to put myself first and love myself
@@rainbowtrout75 yeah truth is life is more chilled when we are not in contact. I know what you mean I feel lighter right now and I am healing the part of me that accepted his crap.
Wow...I know I'm tired, but I swear you described something I do that was also done to me in a different way and ...picture this... a race car speeding 125mph...comes to a screeching stop, no damage, only your face and your words. Spoke directly to me. Thank you.
Really liked how you finished with such a clear prayer of need, intention and gratitude. It is easy for people to become bitter or despairing. So helping others to check in with their desires and to express them so well resets their minds perspective in a positive and uplifting way. Their vibe and attitude will change. They become a conduit for God's pure, healing love. 💓
i've put myself out on a limb for friends, family, boyfriends, and etc only to get rejected in return. this year i am finally learning to grow for myself. trying to host a NYE party only for NO ONE to show up was hard. there was a lot of food, however; thankfully i fed coworkers the 1st work day after that year(for which I won't say what year). i also had, a virtual BDAY party during the ongoing pandemic, and when only 3 people , one of which didn't really like me, virtually logged in at their convenience on my BDAY, i had enough. i've delt with being treated like shit my whole life, literally the bad memories outweigh the good! it is very difficult to trust someone new, but my goal in any relationship is not to "prove to them" that i am worthy, but to be open minded about who they are without putting them through the "trust test". i don't want that to happen to me anymore, so i don't need to do that to someone new be it friend, dating, or etc.
I feel the Universe sends you people who you need at the time of your Life. I recently told a man I've been dating "I like him" and the qualities he possess and I think my words scared him away. So if someone is not ready to receive your vulnerability he's not your person. This amazing adventure call "Living your Best Life Continues....Enjoyed your life lesson Thank you...
Thank you. I really appreciated this talk. From my own experience, childhood trauma can even come before one is born. My father was very sick before I was conceived and died when I was a few months old. I finally figured out that I had absorbed a lot of fear and grief. I do believe that this may have contributed to not choosing men wisely in the past. Hopefully, I am now armed with knowledge.
I m going through this right now. Feeling all you mention. Liking a person being scared of the feelings and feeling insecure. So many emotions. And makes me into a person i dont want to be, insecure, clingy and scared. Thank u
I took a chance and told someone I liked them, and felt connected, like butterflies in my stomach...he told me he did not see us romantically together. This has been really painful because I felt this intense "soul level" connection. It's been a couple years since he married someone else, someone younger than me, someone younger than him, and I tried to make sense of this connection and why the feelings would only be one-sided. Certainly this has had me explore deep feelings of rejection, childhood trauma, relationship heartbreaks, etc. I just know that the more work I have done on myself, the more I see that several of the men that were in my life truly had little connection with their innermost parts...all intellect, little emotion, and I certainly hope to meet someone who has grasped the complexity of his heart/head and soul at a depth that I desire. I am not shallow, almost too philosophical. I adore the people in my life that remind me not to take myself too seriously. I need both. Depth and a great sense of humor and understanding of human nature/character...Enjoyed your post greatly.
Thank you Johnathan this help me out a lot I needed to take a moment and pray to God that He bless you and your family for this message, and it's free wow, you can't get good knowledge like this for free 🙏 ❤️ So thank you for showing men and women how we must put the past behind us and show love for each other. That's what the Bible says. I did something powerful, I apologize to my friend guy of how I was insured with my emotions and childhood past. So I started over. He hasn't texted or called me. I guess I had get your message to learn how to love from the heart with compassion ❤️ and caring. I hope he forgives me that's all I asked of him nothing more, it starts with healing and first forgiving yourself first than we can receive forgiveness from other's who are hurt. This is the longest texttalking I've done on here.❤
Absolutely resonates with me. I recently got back in touch with a man I dated a few years ago, with no expectations. This time I approached it as a friendship. And during our chats we have expressed ourselves better and told each other that we do like each other. I am praying on this to develop into a more lasting and concrete relationship than it was before. Jonathan, I'm so glad to know your relationship is moving along so well. Your insights and shared experiences only make what you do more heartfelt than ever. ❤️
What a lovely video. It was calming and helpful. My boyfriend of four years got a porn morning last month, went to work, and never came home. There was no fight, there was no argument, there was no discussion. He just left me after four years. I found out that he quit his job and he moved to another state, obviously I am absolutely devastated. I was completely blindsided and now I’m just filled with sadness and great pain as he was my best friend. I wish there was a book that I can read to help me get over this pain and to not feel so alone and isolated.
Thank you God for blessing me. You are my creator and know me better then I know myself. I pray Lord that you strengthen me so I can bring the love you have for me and I for you forward into all of my relationships and interactions. I trust in your divine timing and know you will put the right people in front of me. I open my heart to you and include you in all that I do because I know that when I include you I am bringing forth your light and am able to connect with others more intimately. When there are challenges I know I can lean into you for strength and guidance and depend on you to show me the way and rejoice with gladness in the abundance of your gracious gifts. Amen 🙏
Me either. Just turned 35 and am so hurt and tired of Hinge guys and all the other online and real life jerks. Just use and leave. No caring. No homest communication. No maturity, but they talk a good talk and convince you they are so "good" snd "different."
My life… it. Resonates.!!!… just today… l went out…and ALL of my confidence just Disappeared.!!! I felt lost..scared….and insecure…. I lost my husband in January this year…and lm in a long distance relationship … and lm so in Love… lve never felt this strongly about anyone before….
Hi Jonathon, so glad I listened to you today! Your explanation of your mother's stonewalling is what I experienced with my mother. It took a lot of inner work to learn to love myself no matter what anyone else thinks. On another note I have met someone whom I am very attracted to on an emotional and physical level. We are so opposite...like uptown met back woods but, he is such a genuine, caring, thoughtful individual. At this point we are friends and time and communication will tell. You are a gem Jonathon, thank you!
Your awesome Jonathan, this really resonated with me!! I am trying to build a relationship with a man I have known for 25 years but just a few months ago we reconnected! The problem is this is a long distance relationship which comes with its own set of problems! I really want this to work...but am needing to know he wants us to work as much as I do! I sent him your podcast today! 💜
I'm a female divorced @ 53. Dating now is hard. Through my divorce and men after, has brought me to trust no one. I pray I will trust again. I try not to compare my past relationships to current ones, but when I've seen these actions or lack of. It's hard not to compare.
I’m single at 41 turning 42 so I understand where you’re coming from. The most important part of dating is that you have confidence in yourself and being happy with yourself. Having a partner is great but ultimately you really have to love yourself and want to give a part of yourself to others. Relationships are really about contribution so you’ll eventually know who’s right for you by HOW they contribute to you not what they contribute.
I'm 70 and widowed 6 years. Finding a relationship has been extremely frustrating. Trust is a huge problem. Every man I have met has gone from hello to wanting sex within the 1st hour. What happened to developing a friendship 1st?
Gosh, this was my childhood experience, too. I've just met someone who seems the real deal and I don't want to mess it up by allowing childhood 'stuff' to get in the way. Thanks!
Jonathon you have described what I've wanted all my life, someone to love me just as I am not what or how they want me to be. This video has really touched me to my core, particularly the prayer. Thank you so much. 😊🇬🇧
This is hitting home for me right now. I’m in a new relationship and I’m so scared. I’m avoidant attachment but want love. I’m trying to not become dependent on him for my securities but also know how to let him in. It’s hard. I’m head over heels for him. He’s 18 years older than me. He’s head over heels for me and so kind and patient. How do I stop being suspicious because of past trauma?
This is resonating with me. Actually I lost a big love because of this. He told me years later that he was so afraid of loosing me that he stopped believing in the relationship. Thought he would loose me. He thought that such a good thing couldn´t happen to him. At the time I didn´t understand him retreating, years later he explained his fears. So sad.
Definitely resonates. This is why there needs to be some practice that we do on ourselves spiritually. Ultimately, nothing is guaranteed or permanent, but death. When you're vibing with someone and have a good connection, just enjoy and go with the flow. This is what's helping me. Being myself and being open and loving. Whether it works out or not. Take it as a reason and an experience to get you to who you're meant to be with and for your own growth.
This ABSOLUTELY resonates with me! I’m now dating a guy who I knew I wanted to spend my life with- the first time I met him. The first time we dated, neither of us were in a place to be dating anyone..and he didn’t take the relationship seriously and I later found out that he cheated on me- multiple multiple times. Now we have entered into a serious relationship and live together. It’s been four months now and we have, I feel, made it past that awkward first few months where we don’t know each others ways and get angry when we should be loving towards one another..this feeling you described, stays with me on a day to day basis.
I got married after 6 months of breaking up with my bf that I dated for 5 years. I have had so many bad childhood traumas and family issues that mentally drained me at a young age. Now living with my husband we are not emotionally connected at all he doesn’t understand me. Its so hard to be open with him. We live like friends in the house no talking no touches no nothing. We have a daughter thats the only reason I’m sticking to this and I don’t even feel like to try to work this out. Im just so fed up so tired and emotionally exaggerating. I hope I find some that can help me heal internally.
So, in my most recent 4 month relationship, I did just this, I told him, "I like you", "I enjoy being with you", etc. He would shadow me and aay it back. Things were good... then he started pulling back and ghosting me. I told him, "I feel you pulling away, an i misreading?". Nothing.. more ghosting ... never got a response as to why... here 2 months later... still clueless on what happened and it bothers me because i let myself be vulnerable.... so now i just deal with another loss ....
I totally relate to all of this.. I had no clue how to love myself, UNTIL .... 25 years later, my true love 4 sure sent str8 from God both of us moved back to our small TN hometown.. He pointed it out, my whole 🌎 immediately began to change.. soon after, I was evolving at Jet speed.. 4 years back in each other's lives, it hasn't been exactly easy only b/c jealous and envious outsiders.. I was completely redeemed October 2022 and nothing or no one will ever change it.. We are connected mind, body and soul but best of the relationship is our Lord and Savior is #1❤❤❤😊😊😊 Keep it up Jonathan, I really enjoyed listening.. Excellent work😊
FREE Call with Jonathon► jonathonaslay.com/coaching
Can you please clarify if anyone has been eligible for a free call that didn’t tick the boxes to say they have $450 for a one off session or were able to gather $3000 toward therapy? As after filling in the questionnaire it was deemed by one of your team a call wouldn’t benefit me at this time. I totally get that. In the name of radical honesty I think the tag is a little misleading.
I am an older woman. Look younger then my age .and am very well....I have made friends,with a msn on line ,and it has beveloled into our feelings afevery strong with tach other. My problem is,:I was married for 62 yrs to one mad ,he passed. And now I livexwith my Daughter and husband . They say that,ever nsn in line is,a zcsmmer. .tbis man us mot . He us a General in ,the, army. And will retire soon. And they have en
Ven put parental control on my phone ,so I can not talk to him. And I am very unhappy now.
@@alicejones2972 Hmmm, he may very well be a scammer. They're always good looking and in uniform or oil men or spies or something heroic, large, and in charge. However, your kids shouldn't be treating you like a child. You can talk to him. Tell them that you will not send him any money. Just don't send him any money, for ANY reason. NOT ONE DOLLAR. NO MATTER WHAT EXCUSE HE COMES UP WITH. If he asks for money from you, even one dollar, dump him.
I'm happy for you 2. We are all just children walking each other home. Kindness is radical 💞 #Jonathon
@@alicejones2972 call the Carrier. you are not the child. that is unlawful.
Save yourself 20 minutes. The answer to the title is in minute 14. The sentence is “I like you.”
Thanks, but some of us want the 20 minutes of the "why" this sentence is :)
Thank you legend 😂
Thought about your comment summary and that made me laugh and ... I liked you lol
Happy day !
Thank you Dean 🪴
Ya i kept fast forwarding honestly waitimg for the references to the answer of the title
My boyfriend revealed to me recently that he fell in love with me on our first date. This was 5 years ago. I don't think he fell in love with me, he was fascinated and attracted sure, but love...that takes much longer in my opinion even though we talked in depth for weeks prior to meeting in person. On a side note: My first husband was very successful and a high earner, I left him due to infidelity. I married exactly what my parent's raised me to marry, it did not work out regardless of how much money he made. A man with wealth is not all what it's cracked up to be. I'd much rather have a man who has depth and a true connection like I have now.
I totally agree with your assessment all the way around. Very successful high earners often believe money is the great equalizer -- but it's not. So glad to hear you have found the happiness you and your special someone deserve, and congratulations for not settling. Infidelity is the MAXIMUM DEAL BREAKER! You are blessed with common sense and a great chance at happiness : )
I married a poor man who was all about me. 15 years later he cheated. So it's all chance. They have to keep choosing you everyday and we don't get to control that.
@@blueseptember2174 truth!
@@blueseptember2174 Sorry....your Right...you never know what the TRUE person is, till after the wedding, what happens in the dark will come out to the light no one can mock Jeh God, if they loved God and follow his direccion, we would have peace..
limmerence is first.
This is a HUGE issue in relationships now. Too many men admit to not actually liking women-instead, they think of women as providers of sex and as servants (cooking, cleaning). It’s no wonder that less people are dating anymore, never mind getting married.
The best romantic relationships are between couples who are best friends AND lovers.
This 100 percent
Yes, I will never be USED again .
So agree!! Men have taught me that I don't really "need" them...I can and have been making it on my own even when I was in a relationship...my ex narcissist only wanted me around for cleaning, cooking, taking care of his yard and his house...he had rages, lied, silent treatment, gaslighting, a master manipulator...so, men have taught me, I don't need ya!!! I would rather be by myself...
It's hard for me to be both a friend and a lover. If I have friendship with a man I usually never will have feelings for him other than friendship
Hi we need too stop the blame game it starts with your environment father and mother were their love at home communication teaching so if no you had too fine love in all the wrong people maybe their were hunt in those individual you really can not determine any individual only God knows our pain and circumstances in life just be integrity about any situation respect yourself stop finding a solution in SEX Jackson Mississippi Love ✌
I lost myself recently trying to make a relationship work. It made all my stuff scream! I finally pulled out as I was tired of crying and being sad ALL THE TIME! My heart is now free to get on with my life!
@@CindyHamlin-w1n i did the very same in alone now working on my self my home just take my self time
*It's incredible how a few well-chosen words can linger in someone's mind. Let's remember the impact our words can have and use them to strengthen connections.*
IT TAKES A WOMAN FOR A MAN TO CONNECT TO HIS HEART ❤
It took me years of trying to be the “perfect woman” and STILL getting my heart broken before I realized that our quirks, neuroses, imperfections, etc are the things that make us endearing to the right person. You can’t fall in love with a perfect human bc 1) they don’t exist, and 2) perfection isn’t relatable. Our insecurities, our frailty, our neediness will be the thing that the right someone finds precious about us. It’s also important to remember that “no matter how attractive or wealthy a person is, someone, somewhere, is sick of their shit” 😂
Yess the last part ! 👍🤣🤣
I did too I tell people I'm not perfect and to look at seeing that...get used to it!
Yes exactly..all ..of us want the like validation..
Love it great summary ho connect!
You know...someone I dated, in the past, and I had a conversation recently and he told me the same thing. I didn't let my whole personality out and had my walls up. It made it hard for people to get to know me and for me to be open. The same thing just ended my most recent relationship.
So glad I listened to this! I was married for 22 1/2 years and my husband and I were on the same page the moment we met (in person-we were pen pals 😊) He died unexpectedly 16 months ago. I ventured out in the dating world and wow, things are different. I have now met a guy that I really like and has brought the smile back to my face (my daughter has noticed it and so have friends). He even asked me “Have you ever felt such a strong connection?” I asked him if he wanted the truth (he said yes) and I responded “Yes I have, once. And I married him.” Well he didn’t run away.
I want to feed the relationship but not throw the buffet at it 🤣🤣 So I appreciate your openness and great words of advice.
Proceed with caution because narcissistic people use that line a lot. Go slowly.
Sounds like u r giving breadcrumbs to make him hungry for you. Red flag!
@@sarahhunter8997 yeah, they usually love bomb hard in the beginning.
Go slow
Enjoy
build trust
communicate
enjoy
build a spiritual bond
May Gid bless you. 🙏🏼❤️
So how are you now? 🙏🏼
This is resonating with me! I met my former boyfriend in a book store looking for a new copy of Seat of the Soul. My copy was destroyed in a my home when my ex husband burned our house down.
I dated that man for 3 years, he helped me heal from the pain of divorce. We broke up amicably. And I met my true soul mate after The break up and I couldn't have loved my Soul mate unless my prior boyfriend taught me to love myself again ❤
@@lisawheelberg6306 maybe he was the blessing sent into your life for that purpose
What a good relationship needs:
1. A strong connection early on...an affinity for each other, like you've known this person a long time.
2. Intentionality from both people. Use radical honesty when you explain what you want, your past experiences and deficiencies. Be authentic, vulnerable and transparent.
3. Be introspective, do personal development work. Know yourself.
4. Genuinely like someone as a person and TELL them "I like you." Don't be afraid to communicate with each other.
As usual, Jonathon, this is all amazing advice! God bless you. Hugs to all who are looking for a life partner, I pray you find what you need.
Thanks...
This was eerily calculated… it was exactly what I needed to hear today. This video came exactly the moment after I received a final farewell from a guy I’ve invested for 9 month. I was sincerely being vulnerable and expressing how I felt because I really cared but knowing the connection was not mutual I decided to say my last words and wish him well. Expressing it was for my own benefit to get closure.
thanks,
i enjoy joining , but i' m
done. i had enough!!
Good for you. I know how hard that was but you know your own value. You did right. Bless you.
It's very freeing, isn't it? That moment you decide you're done giving to someone without getting anything in return?
Wow, that takes courage. I wish I had done the same. So much I should have said but was afraid to. Well done ❤
Do you mind if I ask you the turning point into knowing when it was the perfect time to let him go?
Absolutely, you have told the truth about relationships and childhood trauma. I spent 24 years in therapy (off and on) and at 72, this is the first time in my life where I feel I can be just the person I like and feel free to be “me”!
Congrats! Better late than never. Why to go! Just be you. You are enough & worthy of what's best and whatever works for you. And the cool part is that it's also ok to just do it all your own ways. With an open mind, heart & spirit, I send you positive, healthy, happy vibes! Celibrating your authenticity with you🎉
Hi @lsp1950 I am older than you and just lately realized a childhood trauma that kept creeping into my head and I kept pushing away - I realized it had to do with my feelings towards my father (who sadly is gone so I hope he understands now) and that it was about his not protecting me - and possibly blaming him blaming me (partly), for something that happened to me, when I was preschool - which I can see now that it was because of his father's treatment probably towards his family...generational sins is what I am calling it - time to change that!! My friend, I shared this with recently, because I felt that he restored my trust in the opposite sex, by being kind and sticking up for me - (and he kissed my in the cloak room in Gr. 4) and led me to have a liking for boys - he is a kind and a loyal life time friend - yes, that I like very much! (too complicated to explain here)Thanks for your sharing...
Hi Jonathon...I've got one for you. My guy is Autistic, and went through a very difficult childhood. He thanked me once for seeing him in a way he can't see himself, because all I see is his genius and creativity, his sense of humor, spirituality, and responsibility. He is amazing. Love your videos!
I hope my nephew finds someone like you. He has asbergers I would love him to find someone genuine.
@@deniseelsworth7816 I have a nephew with Asbergers too...he is such a sweet man and so intelligent and funny... I wish the same for him ❤
I was seeing a guy with autism for a while and I definitely appreciated his uniqueness and the way he viewed the world. I miss him but he has other issues he needs to address.
Beautiful heart you have.
I stopped dating seven years ago. Never happier in my life. You are correct: Most of us are dysfunctional.
9 here, still happy!
14 years. Lol!!!
its been a little over a year for me. i've never felt this free before!
I vowed to stop dating last February and it was the best decision I have made for myself in a long time. I hope I’m saying that I’m happy like you after 7! 🙌🏼
Ten. 😊
The book "Attached" was the catalyst to understanding myself and set me off on a journey to self-discovery. Many reads followed , unveiling layers of trauma, and how to heal from them. Definitly recommend this book to begin understanding your roots.
Funny I said this to my bf last night. We were talking about some dislikes in relationship and I said "even if this relationship sometimes make me feel not so happy, I really like you. A lot! And you know its more than the word "like". I think its important to let the other person to know that even if things are not always good in relationship, that doesn't change how you feel about them. Its important to speak about things but never make the other person feels like they suck. Thank you Jonathon 🙏
My adult problem is especially after 45. I need to find someone who loves me as much as I love myself.
I felt this in my soul. I’ve done the work, healed my traumas and I genuinely love myself. I didn’t do all that work to allow someone into my life who doesn’t love me the way I love me ❤
It would make more sense to find someone who loves themselves as much as you love yourself.
“When Harry Met Sally” is my favorite movie. I once fell in love with a “high maintenance” man. To me, it’s not really high maintenance. It’s the things that make him feel good and secure. Lots of interaction (quality time/quantity time) and yes, that unpacking. It’s his empathy, deep thinking, wicked wit, corny dry humor, creativity, and natural curiosity make him not only him, It makes him incredibly attractive, even when he exasperatingly argues a point (and he is wrong), even when he’s being Eyeore-ish. He’s a beautiful person. He’s a big TeddyBear. Hoping he feels love and peace in his current LD relationship. Those things meant for you, find you. It all works out.
This is resonating, yes. The remorse goes on and on. My mother was alcoholic; I became alcoholic. I loved and stonewalled my two sons as she did me. I quit drinking 19.5 years ago. We've talked about it; I've acknowledged and asked forgiveness for the hurt I caused them. They both seem to forgive me, even while I know they still struggle to believe women will love them and stay with them. It breaks my heart. They are so worthy and sweet.
Takes a big person to admit that. I hope your sons understand that doing exactly what you did you are breaking the cycle. Good for you. All the best to you.
I don't want to "make" a guy think about me, or "make" him do or feel "anything". He will be what he is on his own, and then I will see his genuineness and authentic self. Ladies, this is the best way to find out who the man is, without using coercion. You want to know who and how he is authentically because that's what you are ultimately going to get. Don't try to "make" him think about you.
When you "raise yourself" or experience inconsistent love/affection/acceptance you end up in the anxious v avoidant, fearful avoidant or become jaded dismissing and pushing people away or sabotage connections. We have to relate to ourselves, accept ourselves and grow into the relationship we've dreamed of... with ourselves! It's the best and most fulfilling relationship you will have and LASTs a True Lifetime!
Yes! Fear of Abandonment has affected all of my relationships since I was 8 yrs old (54 yrs)
Me too.
I am in agreement totally! Don't want to be, but I live in fear of abandment with any relationship!
Me too!
Me also 😊
Me too. You're not along. Thanks for sharing. ❤
To have never felt loved,I just can't keep trying to find love to be disappointed anymore I give up.,😢
Everything you say resonates with me. Everything I once stood for was demolished by people who told me I was insecure or needy, so I adjusted. Big mistake. After watching a few of your posts. I now realize that I can be the loveable caring me. And its okay to have anxieties. Thank you kind Sir! Hugs!
Thanks for sharing!!
Definitely resonates with me! 30 year marriage just ended after he had multiple affairs, making me feel undesirable, unworthy, and unloved. My new relationship has already had these issues show. I was fast to react to any tiny change, getting attached way too fast and hard, and being very insecure. Luckily, he is great at de-escalating me when I get crazy.
Yes I’m having a hard time liking someone right now because I’m so afraid of giving my all again. I’m an anxious attachment type
If only I could find someone who is as aware as what you are describing. I couldn’t have described it all any better. I am in search of someone who is continually seeking to raise their consciousness. High vibration through intention and what I call “living life on purpose”. This is where the intention comes in. A solid relationship embodies all of this and so much more. Finding someone who thinks on such a deep level is not an easy feat. Sending light and love to all 💫
Attached is a great book. I listen to the audio book when I feel anxious. It helps me to calm down and remember what I am feeling the way I am.
Thanks for sharing!!
My Mum was bipolar and I have trust issues, this video really made total sense to me. Thank you ❤❤
I now know why my marriage fell apart. Not only did I fall out of love, I fell out of like. Thank you for these words, they were VERY valuable….
Yeah I love all humans. But I don’t like them all.
New follower here. I wish I'd met you 30 years ago. I've been through a few failed relationships in my 62 years of life and I could've used this advice. I probably would've made better choices. In 2019, I divorced after nearly 33 years from a very selfish, controlling and manipulative man who I could never please and who was also a "man of the cloth!!!" I didn't like him at all. He was a true narcissist but it took me years to realize what I was dealing with. I did a lot of research about my situation 19 years into the marriage and haven't stopped til this day.
The first point .. is amazing !!!.. I can relate ❤😍
I appreciate you so very much. Your are so open & transparent. I love that you share your personal experiences with us. That is what makes your posts so rare in content. Much needed and embraced by me! TY for being vulnerable with us. This post specifically was needed to be heard by me this AM! Thank you! ❤️
Thank you so much!
@@JonathonAslay she's right. You rock. Just found your channel this morning.
Communication is key..really appreciate your honesty, and openess...now I will talk like that..no bottling up, no games..
So resonates with me …. I don’t have time to change myself for anyone (I’m 71) after illness & a horrific breakup I’ve healed & ventured into dating (15 years) I have a strong connection & I really LIKE this Man … he got me when he cried telling me about the best thing his father ever told him! I’m enjoying our friendship & being vulnerable about my insecurities about my mastectomy & how it has prohibited me from going forward. Not an issue for him 😊…. Although we will be long distance communicating for awhile … I can tell our relationship is growing from our conversations & sharing everything… I’m glad we have this time away to just TALK . Although I miss those blue eyes in the morning :)
Thanks Jonathon 🤗
Thank you Jonathon. You are adorable and so authentic! After my husband of 30 years died and my significant other of 6 years died, I just thought I would never be with anyone. Love continues, love permeates, and wants to filter into other lives. Now I am dating another man and being just who I am If we could learn to love ourselves, we can love at any age and keep on connecting. Relationships is what it's all about! Thank you for your honestly and loving heart. Diane
This was a lovely video and resonated deeply. I was a fearful avoidant for most of my adult life until I turned inward for three years and did the deep inner work to heal. I watch a LOT of videos on these topics - personal development, relationships, attachment, etc. Yours stands out for your positive, warm energy and uplifting vibe. It’s very soothing to the viewer, who is probably coming across your video in moments of fear or uncertainty. Keep doing what you’re doing. I’m hitting the subscribe button 😊
That's really true, loving ourselves is the most important thing to do and in turn, people around us will love us in return even your man.
I do understand myself and that is why I stayed alone for 7 years after having an unhealthy relationship with a childhood friend. Not marrying after the kids dad died was for them not for me. This person I let be an exception because of our history, I allowed it to blind me. After, I realized that having standards just pushes people away from me and I needed to accept it and get on with myself even if it meant alone. Being alone is just as hard for me since I've been alone most of my life and not by choice. Now this wonderful person happens to me and both our fears have bubbled up when we have become vulnerable. For the most part we have helped each other gracefully. Other times we have stumbled or been impatient or just not knowledgeable. We are learning.
Good morning Jonathon.. Thank You for being so open and honest. You really put your real life to show others the process of the actual feeling we all are feeling , but are too afraid to open up and verbalizing it. Thank you for being so transparent and allowing people that there are second chances in life. Sometimes we have to kiss a few frogs to get our prince.
This totally resonates. I’ve done so much work in therapy, but being in a “new” relationship has just brought up so many deeper issues that I thought were much more healed. I put new in parentheses because a childhood friend I’ve known for 34 years reached out to me when he heard I was divorced and we started dating. I’ve tried to nuke the relationship a few times because it feels so vulnerable and that’s a terrifying feeling when you’ve been through a divorce. I’ve prayed a lot and I really think God’s trying to allow me to sit in the feeling so I can find deeper healing (at some point). Thanks very much for articulating this! I didn’t have the right words before!
It sounds like you're on the right track!
This made my day. This video also made me worry that perhaps in this time and age, men my age are no longer truly themselves because they don’t have the patience to know who they are, and are not serious enough to want something meaningful and longterm. With the end of each relationship, we lose so much of ourselves, that going forward we have nothing left to give anymore.
It feels a bit hopeless to me to hope anymore that I ll find a lifelong companion.
Thank you for this video tho, Jon. This was a sliver of hope.
This episode, at least the first 15 minutes should be shown to high school classes and in wellness college classes! This stuff needs to be taught since most are not getting this training at home! It sets your teaching apart from the other coaches and vlogs. I like you, Jonathan! And if you read the other comments you can see a lot of other people do too.
If you believe schools are to help successful lives you are in a dream land.
Agreed! It's real talk ...
This video really helped me. As a 25 year old woman with little dating experience, I hear such conflicting advice online about how to navigate it. It's lead me to overthinking so much that I'm not being present. Your videos have really helped me to ground myself, and remember that it's about genuine connection. That someone will like me for me and I won't have to stress about saying the wrong thing or appearing in a certain way. Thank you for radiating love and for your honesty. It truly has helped my mindset so much❤
I know what this feels like and i have my shares of up's and downs. No more. God loves me and i feel stronger today and it has made me the person i am. I like my self. 😊
Best relationship guidance channel for people in general of both sexes of any age. But especially for 50 plus. Currently getting to know someone platonically as we have a good spiritual & sincere connection after I accosted them telling them I liked them because they have good countenance. 😂 No phones or tech but face to face. So much better. Yes this definitely resonates with me! Thank you
There's so many people running around out there with big gaping holes in them that they're trying to fill with people. With what they think they're supposed to go for. What they think they're supposed to want, what they think will fill the void and make THEM feel better. Wealthy partners, good looking partners, popular partners, etc. The "ideal" type. The reality is that those you actually connect with? It's not always so exciting. It's not always that interesting or sexy or cool. But it's real and it's lovely and it feels amazing, a balm on your soul, but that closeness is also terrifying for people who are wounded.
You never forget the people you connect with though, so real connection should always be fostered first. This resonated a lot with me.
This was so sincere, honest and heartfelt. Thank you!
Glad you enjoyed it!
I at 56 and 2 years of healing, l am dating someone who is intentional, transparent, and consistent. We met online and he is currently overseas, l was concerned because we were so new, but it has been wonderful nothing has changed, l feel so close to him, taking physical out has really given us a chance to know one another.
Thank you for your vulnerability, Jonathon. Yes, we continue to be impacted by our early/first (family) relationships, and past heartbreaks. I can relate to what you are saying. And there's nothing neurotic about processing things!
I remember telling my last guy I loved him, but I can't remember if I told him I liked him! And I REALLY liked him! He was my best friend. I hope he knows/knew I liked him.
Thank you for your prayers!
You are so welcome
Get out of your mind, the ego, and find the real essence of who you are, your soul. It comes from within to find what true happiness really is. Live in the Now and enjoy each moment gifted to us. 🙏
Jonathan this is you, this is me- psalm 139:14. You ARE enough. You ARE worthy. You can always move on, their is always a way out, it was good for me to know this and it relieved my stress levels immensely🎉❤😊.
Yes! Thank you!
Beautiful. bless you. 🙏🏼
I really like what you're saying, Jonathan. Forget about the gender mindgames, and just express genuinely to each other what we like about the other, about how you feel when you're with them, how much fun you're having... I really sense your earnestness and care! I like your style a lot! Thank you for what you do. (hug - if that's good with you!)
Exactly
Thank you for this. My new man and I talk so openly about all of this and are falling in love. It’s so different than anything that came before. He is 42, I am 53. We are all in and leaning towards each other. This is a beautiful chapter of life. I think we both got to the place where we were fine alone and then bam, met each other and there has been no doubt we’re moving in the right direction. It’s so nice to talk about everything so openly and easily. ❤❤❤❤
ditto gals...I am a widow of 15 yrs. & elderly...77..hate to admit it but a young guy moved in across from me 58..>LOL & he brought me over a bowl of home made soup & that started a friendship that ended up making me laugh again...my marriage was not happy & apt. living is lonely & so is growing old ...but we developed a friendship of sorts that is fun...I love these conversations of you ladies are sharing. so many good talks on You Tube...thank you for all the encouragement & God who I give credit for putting ppl in our path...& thanks Jonathon for the topic... Love it. A lot of lonely ppl out there.
I'm in the exact same boat. It's just marvelous.
I’ just started dating someone 11 years younger too. I wish you all the best.
@hisgirlmary,9842 I'm glad you are happy. And you deserve to be happy. ❤. My name. Is. Leslie. And I also am a widow. Keep having fun and enjoy your life 😊
I'm sorry that happened to you as a child Jonathan. My parents divorced when I was 11. I lived with my mom and she might lock herself in her room all weekend. I would try to bring her something to eat and ask if she was okay and what I did wrong, but she would be cocoons into her blankets and not respond. I always felt like it was my fault up until recently.
My mom used to hide away in her room too.. not behind a divorce but just hiding i have no idea why. I felt like I raised myself to an extent and I’ve always been the one to resolve things for myself and my brother! Now that we are adults and I have a better relationship with her she gets upset that I don’t come and talk to her about things! I had to explain to her that she taught me to figure it out because I was too afraid of her to knock on her door and talk to her as a kid so I’m trying to work out those behaviors!
So tough 😔 I wonder how many of the moms people are mentioning in the comments suffered from depression with little to no help at the time.
@@Mellmouse1 yes, post partum and beyond before it was known or talked about...
This is genuinely resonating with me. Was in an almost 4 year relationship where mental abuse was the norm and that will take away all you sense of worthiness and self love.
But now am in extremely early stage of getting to know someone else and am having to relearn the art of self love. Certainly not very easy to do but certainly know I must do it
Jonathon, this is resonating with me... I am going thru this right now!!!! Learning to really pour into myself daily, recognize when to LET GO and LOVE myself, wholeheartedly!
You are so welcome
Friendship, comfort, same level respect. Liking eachother and seeing who you are is all.ypu.need. also to know they're not.going.anywhere...
😢going true it right now ,been hurt alot and always seem to screw thing. And today am going through a relationship of 4 years that was the best I ever had but didn't realize my bad action,,I been sexually, physical and mental abuse since am a little girl I always saw abandoned. So now that's push him away so much,told me he think of leaving 😢 I really wanna lurn love and with him for us and our son, am just trying my best to be my best and hopefully change his mind and see am honest of wanted to change my insecurity even if I have to go get professional help
Thank you for making this point! It's refreshing to not play poker or polarity games, but to build trust and comfort with emotional intimacy, being known, being seen, being understood!
Such a beautiful message and video! You reminded me once again to not put another person on a pedestal so much but instead to be and honour yourself. It's true that when we truly accept all parts of ourselves and love the "weird" things about us that set us apart, that we are most attractive to the one who is actually meant for us ❤
You are so welcome
The problem I have is every time I think things are going well a guy ghosts me. If I had honestly known certain things about these guys I wouldn't have gone out with either one. My takeaway is taking time for myself and taking time to balance things better. So I can get to know someone better before anything happens
💯 I’ve done A LOT of this work in the last 3 years…I’m finally feeling self-love and understanding what it even IS! I’m finally feeling whole, and not trying to fill an internal void which can never be filled by anything external…For me, I’ve done a lot of self-reflection and introspection and I know my own TRUTH. I always knew it to a degree and did move with more authenticity than most…but, I allowed the perception, of others, what they PROJECTED onto me, to affect my self-worth and self-esteem, even when I knew it wasn’t accurate. Now that I REALLY know my true self, I have learned to deflect all of these projections, because I’m so sure of who I actually AM. And, because of this, I no longer allow another’s inability to SEE me for who I TRULY am, to diminish my own self-worth. It’s also true that there is no true human connection without vulnerability, authenticity, and transparency. Thank you so much for sharing this and spreading your light.❤
Your response has resonated with me. God bless you
@@kimkelly9046Thank you, Kim! I’m so happy for us, both. ☺️
Thank you for sharing and thank you for your kind words.... much appreciated.
The love and understanding, compassion and sheer unabridged honesty you have for humanity, people in general and what and how you compassionately and deliberately share all of this is, for me, testament to the high calibre of human being that YOU truly are. Thank YOU Johnathon (love and respect from Scotland)
My guy and I really like each other as friends! For us, it is what deepened out connection that lead to love. We are besties and love being together because, we genuinely are best friends❤
We didn't need each other to complete ourselves. We were solid individuals. Our strong independent selves shared common interest that led to our strong bond as a couple❤
YES Jonathon it resonates! My mother was very controlling and difficult. Also you mentioned that when we meet someone it feels like we did this before. I believe THAT'S often a feeling we have due to REINCARNATION.
Thanks for sharing!!
My mother was also difficult and controlling. I understand you
Haven't listened to you for a while. You seem gentler. Im glad.
Thanks for addressing this I see many relationship coaches dismissing the idea that people pull away due to fear. Saying oh they just don't like you enough. I have definitely experienced anxiety in dating and my current relationship has been very on off due to him being an avoidant. Very stressful I love him to bits.
get out, they rarely change. was like a weight off my shoulders ditching my avoidant, the only good to come out of it was that I learnt to put myself first and love myself
@@rainbowtrout75 yeah truth is life is more chilled when we are not in contact. I know what you mean I feel lighter right now and I am healing the part of me that accepted his crap.
@@Leadan86 p
@@rainbowtrout75well that’s not very empathetic. They’re also individuals and each one is different.
Wow...I know I'm tired, but I swear you described something I do that was also done to me in a different way and ...picture this... a race car speeding 125mph...comes to a screeching stop, no damage, only your face and your words. Spoke directly to me. Thank you.
Really liked how you finished with such a clear prayer of need, intention and gratitude.
It is easy for people to become bitter or despairing.
So helping others to check in with their desires and to express them so well resets their minds perspective in a positive and uplifting way. Their vibe and attitude will change. They become a conduit for God's pure, healing love. 💓
Yessss, I want to be kind to myself! I feel sad sometimes…😢😢😢!
Eventhough I love myself, I feel sad sometimes!
i've put myself out on a limb for friends, family, boyfriends, and etc only to get rejected in return. this year i am finally learning to grow for myself. trying to host a NYE party only for NO ONE to show up was hard. there was a lot of food, however; thankfully i fed coworkers the 1st work day after that year(for which I won't say what year). i also had, a virtual BDAY party during the ongoing pandemic, and when only 3 people , one of which didn't really like me, virtually logged in at their convenience on my BDAY, i had enough. i've delt with being treated like shit my whole life, literally the bad memories outweigh the good! it is very difficult to trust someone new, but my goal in any relationship is not to "prove to them" that i am worthy, but to be open minded about who they are without putting them through the "trust test". i don't want that to happen to me anymore, so i don't need to do that to someone new be it friend, dating, or etc.
💯relatable
I feel the Universe sends you people who you need at the time of your Life. I recently told a man I've been dating "I like him" and the qualities he possess and I think my words scared him away. So if someone is not ready to receive your vulnerability he's not your person. This amazing adventure call "Living your Best Life Continues....Enjoyed your life lesson Thank you...
Exactly
Thank you. I really appreciated this talk. From my own experience, childhood trauma can even come before one is born. My father was very sick before I was conceived and died when I was a few months old. I finally figured out that I had absorbed a lot of fear and grief. I do believe that this may have contributed to not choosing men wisely in the past. Hopefully, I am now armed with knowledge.
I m going through this right now. Feeling all you mention. Liking a person being scared of the feelings and feeling insecure. So many emotions. And makes me into a person i dont want to be, insecure, clingy and scared. Thank u
I took a chance and told someone I liked them, and felt connected, like butterflies in my stomach...he told me he did not see us romantically together. This has been really painful because I felt this intense "soul level" connection. It's been a couple years since he married someone else, someone younger than me, someone younger than him, and I tried to make sense of this connection and why the feelings would only be one-sided. Certainly this has had me explore deep feelings of rejection, childhood trauma, relationship heartbreaks, etc. I just know that the more work I have done on myself, the more I see that several of the men that were in my life truly had little connection with their innermost parts...all intellect, little emotion, and I certainly hope to meet someone who has grasped the complexity of his heart/head and soul at a depth that I desire. I am not shallow, almost too philosophical. I adore the people in my life that remind me not to take myself too seriously. I need both. Depth and a great sense of humor and understanding of human nature/character...Enjoyed your post greatly.
Thank you Johnathan this help me out a lot I needed to take a moment and pray to God that He bless you and your family for this message, and it's free wow, you can't get good knowledge like this for free 🙏 ❤️ So thank you for showing men and women how we must put the past behind us and show love for each other. That's what the Bible says. I did something powerful, I apologize to my friend guy of how I was insured with my emotions and childhood past. So I started over. He hasn't texted or called me. I guess I had get your message to learn how to love from the heart with compassion ❤️ and caring. I hope he forgives me that's all I asked of him nothing more, it starts with healing and first forgiving yourself first than we can receive forgiveness from other's who are hurt. This is the longest texttalking I've done on here.❤
Absolutely resonates with me. I recently got back in touch with a man I dated a few years ago, with no expectations. This time I approached it as a friendship. And during our chats we have expressed ourselves better and told each other that we do like each other. I am praying on this to develop into a more lasting and concrete relationship than it was before.
Jonathan, I'm so glad to know your relationship is moving along so well. Your insights and shared experiences only make what you do more heartfelt than ever. ❤️
Thank u for teaching us what we never learned in school or at home. God bless u with blessings back to u.
What a lovely video. It was calming and helpful. My boyfriend of four years got a porn morning last month, went to work, and never came home. There was no fight, there was no argument, there was no discussion. He just left me after four years. I found out that he quit his job and he moved to another state, obviously I am absolutely devastated. I was completely blindsided and now I’m just filled with sadness and great pain as he was my best friend. I wish there was a book that I can read to help me get over this pain and to not feel so alone and isolated.
Thank you God for blessing me. You are my creator and know me better then I know myself. I pray Lord that you strengthen me so I can bring the love you have for me and I for you forward into all of my relationships and interactions. I trust in your divine timing and know you will put the right people in front of me. I open my heart to you and include you in all that I do because I know that when I include you I am bringing forth your light and am able to connect with others more intimately. When there are challenges I know I can lean into you for strength and guidance and depend on you to show me the way and rejoice with gladness in the abundance of your gracious gifts. Amen 🙏
Totally, thanks for the heartfelt prayer Cindy 😊
God bless you 🙏
YES!! 🙏💜🌹💕
Amen ! 🙏🏻
I’m going to copy and memorize that prayer…. Lovely! ❤️
@@Permetika That makes my heart happy ❤️
I do like myself!! Thank you!! I like you too!! I like most humans!! Shine your light you guys!!!
This resonated with me. I'm so burnt out with dating, I just don't feel I can keep dating in the hope of meeting a suitable partner.
Me either. Just turned 35 and am so hurt and tired of Hinge guys and all the other online and real life jerks. Just use and leave. No caring. No homest communication. No maturity, but they talk a good talk and convince you they are so "good" snd "different."
My life… it. Resonates.!!!… just today… l went out…and ALL of my confidence just Disappeared.!!! I felt lost..scared….and insecure…. I lost my husband in January this year…and lm in a long distance relationship … and lm so in Love… lve never felt this strongly about anyone before….
Hi Jonathon, so glad I listened to you today! Your explanation of your mother's stonewalling is what I experienced with my mother. It took a lot of inner work to learn to love myself no matter what anyone else thinks. On another note I have met someone whom I am very attracted to on an emotional and physical level. We are so opposite...like uptown met back woods but, he is such a genuine, caring, thoughtful individual. At this point we are friends and time and communication will tell. You are a gem Jonathon, thank you!
Your awesome Jonathan, this really resonated with me!! I am trying to build a relationship with a man I have known for 25 years but just a few months ago we reconnected! The problem is this is a long distance relationship which comes with its own set of problems! I really want this to work...but am needing to know he wants us to work as much as I do! I sent him your podcast today! 💜
I’m experiencing that now. It’s beautiful at the same time there’s fear.
I'm a female divorced @ 53. Dating now is hard. Through my divorce and men after, has brought me to trust no one. I pray I will trust again. I try not to compare my past relationships to current ones, but when I've seen these actions or lack of. It's hard not to compare.
I’m single at 41 turning 42 so I understand where you’re coming from. The most important part of dating is that you have confidence in yourself and being happy with yourself. Having a partner is great but ultimately you really have to love yourself and want to give a part of yourself to others. Relationships are really about contribution so you’ll eventually know who’s right for you by HOW they contribute to you not what they contribute.
I'm 70 and widowed 6 years. Finding a relationship has been extremely frustrating. Trust is a huge problem. Every man I have met has gone from hello to wanting sex within the 1st hour. What happened to developing a friendship 1st?
This is resonating with what am going through now.Thank you for being honest and sharing with us.I pray it works out .I am still keeping the faith
Best of luck!
Gosh, this was my childhood experience, too. I've just met someone who seems the real deal and I don't want to mess it up by allowing childhood 'stuff' to get in the way. Thanks!
Jonathon you have described what I've wanted all my life, someone to love me just as I am not what or how they want me to be. This video has really touched me to my core, particularly the prayer. Thank you so much. 😊🇬🇧
❤
This is hitting home for me right now. I’m in a new relationship and I’m so scared. I’m avoidant attachment but want love. I’m trying to not become dependent on him for my securities but also know how to let him in. It’s hard. I’m head over heels for him. He’s 18 years older than me. He’s head over heels for me and so kind and patient. How do I stop being suspicious because of past trauma?
This is resonating with me. Actually I lost a big love because of this. He told me years later that he was so afraid of loosing me that he stopped believing in the relationship. Thought he would loose me. He thought that such a good thing couldn´t happen to him. At the time I didn´t understand him retreating, years later he explained his fears. So sad.
Definitely resonates. This is why there needs to be some practice that we do on ourselves spiritually. Ultimately, nothing is guaranteed or permanent, but death. When you're vibing with someone and have a good connection, just enjoy and go with the flow. This is what's helping me. Being myself and being open and loving. Whether it works out or not. Take it as a reason and an experience to get you to who you're meant to be with and for your own growth.
My boyfriend says I think.too much and I expect people to show up like I do so.i get disappointed.
so you're just settling with him. move on and find your match!
This ABSOLUTELY resonates with me! I’m now dating a guy who I knew I wanted to spend my life with- the first time I met him. The first time we dated, neither of us were in a place to be dating anyone..and he didn’t take the relationship seriously and I later found out that he cheated on me- multiple multiple times. Now we have entered into a serious relationship and live together. It’s been four months now and we have, I feel, made it past that awkward first few months where we don’t know each others ways and get angry when we should be loving towards one another..this feeling you described, stays with me on a day to day basis.
I got married after 6 months of breaking up with my bf that I dated for 5 years. I have had so many bad childhood traumas and family issues that mentally drained me at a young age. Now living with my husband we are not emotionally connected at all he doesn’t understand me. Its so hard to be open with him. We live like friends in the house no talking no touches no nothing. We have a daughter thats the only reason I’m sticking to this and I don’t even feel like to try to work this out. Im just so fed up so tired and emotionally exaggerating. I hope I find some that can help me heal internally.
So, in my most recent 4 month relationship, I did just this, I told him, "I like you", "I enjoy being with you", etc. He would shadow me and aay it back. Things were good... then he started pulling back and ghosting me. I told him, "I feel you pulling away, an i misreading?". Nothing.. more ghosting ... never got a response as to why... here 2 months later... still clueless on what happened and it bothers me because i let myself be vulnerable.... so now i just deal with another loss ....
This content is eye opening and therapeutic. Thank you, Jonathan. Yes, self-love is very important.
I really agree with you
I totally relate to all of this.. I had no clue how to love myself, UNTIL .... 25 years later, my true love 4 sure sent str8 from God both of us moved back to our small TN hometown.. He pointed it out, my whole 🌎 immediately began to change.. soon after, I was evolving at Jet speed.. 4 years back in each other's lives, it hasn't been exactly easy only b/c jealous and envious outsiders.. I was completely redeemed October 2022 and nothing or no one will ever change it.. We are connected mind, body and soul but best of the relationship is our Lord and Savior is #1❤❤❤😊😊😊
Keep it up Jonathan, I really enjoyed listening.. Excellent work😊
Will do 👌
You definitely speak the truth. You are so real, raw, and sweet. Thank you. I'm grateful for you, and the time you take to help others❤
Hi there Jerry yes this rings with me!!My mother was very conditional and very controlling, so I get you!
I understand