You deserve to be a priority, not an option. Protecting your worth is an important step to building a better life. Continue to be strong and set clear boundaries! 💪✨
good stay safe and always value you you precious and we all need to have respect, love, being cherished I have been gone fore 15 days now and I am finding myself singing , sleeping well, laughing more, its all an amazing feeling.....
Absolutely right! Choosing self-respect over being someone's option is a powerful decision. When you prioritize yourself, you show others how you deserve to be treated. Disappearing from toxic situations isn't just an escape-it's a statement of your worth. Stay strong and keep putting yourself first! 💪✨
I moved across the other side of the country and completely disappeared and went "dark" ;I made myself the option. I learned that when your life falls apart, its really falling into place and you need to see it as this 🙂
@billmiller1868 thanks, and it has worked out. And now I'm writing the book towards helping others trying to end psychopathological narcissistic abuse in their life.
@@rodneyhenchliffe754 Many Thanks @rodneyhenchliffe754 I wish you the best of success and you have chosen a great vocation. Nothing worth doing is easy! Best of Luck Rodney. Actually luck has nothing to do with it,hard work does
Outstanding COMMENT MAN!! I two , thought I was suffering and things couldn’t get any worse! But in reality, best thing ever happened got me! I dumped all SELF SERVING so called friends! Trust me, 98% of who used to call friends are REJECTED - IM GOOD!!!!
Did this 3 years ago. While he was out playing tennis I threw my clothes and stuff in the car, went to the bank and took my money out and left town for good. Best thing I ever did.
I left my family , fake friends and never looked back. Not being loved is horrible, my whole life mentally abused, missed goals. Now I live better than ever building my life at 52 with my precious children. Even Immigrated from my native Dutch roots to spain andalucia. Nothing is easy but way better. I'm done being an option ❤🙏🏽
Wonderful. Topic: Silence. Nothing is more powerful than silence. Ban people from your life who harm you. I am very lucky that since I am self-employed and downsized my life, I am surrounded by only good friends, honest friends, people who not only speak but follow with action. This is one of the greatest presents I received in life. Also cut my narcissistic mother out of my life. Since then, life is so much lighter, easier, happier.
Truth! They love to argue and put you down, I didn't gave any of them any chance, those are abusers and deeply jealous envious. Now I magnet kind people! Self Worth is powerful and magical. Silence is gold ❤
Omg, this was so deeply satisfying. I'm two weeks into no contact. He told me a few times he knows I'm not going anywhere, that I'll always come back. Let's see about that!
Yep, it works when you walk out. They’ll chase and pursue, don’t give up, they’ll continue taking you for granted once you give up. This is a life changing decision. Changing for the better. You deserve it! Be proud of yourself, have dignity and integrity, you’re no more an option; you have control of your life and emotions. It’ll take time but you’ll come out on top, a winner!!! Suffering is part of life, don’t be afraid, it cleanses and brings you to higher levels of success. You’ll be alright!
I’m done being an option long ago. 2 years 4 months and counting. Never go back. Never look back. They were strangers from the start. Never ever mistake them for family, again!
Exactly, and really good for you realizing your self worth.❤ Five days ago he suggested us having an open relationship, as he both wanted his freedom seeing other women and keeping me, he said. I've not given him an answer yet, but of course my answer is NO. Now I've disappeared on him completely. I can feel his energy that he is worried, lost, confused, and scared of losing me for good now. 😀
@Helenatapper777, stay”lost” and don’t let him find you, ever! He doesn’t deserve you. He’s insecure, immature, and if he wants to date others, you’re only an option. Hell NO and no!
My option is me, my self love, self worth, self respect. No Ill will on the broken souls that can’t even chose themselves let alone another person. Walking away isn’t a game but a mindset shift. If someone does not have the ability to love you as much as you love you then that’s the choice. You! It always was you and always will be you.
I'm done. After coming in and out of my life for 14 years, I called him out on his lies. He did not see it coming. It was so liberating. It's been 5 months now and even though doing this hurt me too, I did not budge an inch. I am really done. I feel so free!
I’m not sure I have anyone who would really care if I disappeared. I don’t think they would even care to contact me. I don’t think people care one way or another anymore.
Same here. But the most important thing is for us to care about ourselves. Do things we love that makes us happy, for example go for long walks in nature and by the sea, eat healthy, meditate etc.
I’m done being an option… I have self-respect I finally realized I love myself more than I love him although I do love him very much. Praying he’ll come back, but only if he changes praying to God in the universe for change Taurus from Tampa.
Amazing. I’m done with being an option. I know my worth. I know how I deserve to be treated and unconditionally loved. This could not be a more timely message for me to receive today. After blocking someone whom I know really wasn’t expecting to be blocked. Thank you for bringing me this message today. I am incredibly grateful. This answers everything I needed to hear today, and gives me the reassurance that I made the right decision and took the right action. Thank you.
For me this video is powerful. Thank you for posting. I call mybwife on things and experience her wrath. Through her trials i have been with her. Her family tried manybways of putting her in a home i have defended her. Then last month was enough. I am planning my departure. Thank you again.
We had the breakup and he kept posting about being happy for almost two years. Then, I changed my number focussed on my self. It has been more than a year, all I have posted is about my artwork. No instigating posts, nothing that can give any info about me. I am happy!
I will never let myself be an option to anyone! Five days ago he suggested us having an open relationship, as he both wanted his freedom seeing other women and keeping me, he said. I've not given him an answer yet, but of course my answer is NO. Now I've disappeared on him completely. I can feel his energy that he is worried, lost, confused, and scared of losing me for good now. 😀
Yes I did it immediately went into silent, but faced alone, now I’m better n getting more better, I have experienced first time of getting ghosted by someone
I'm done being an option. Sir I owe a word of thank you because in facing these problems right now but started listening to you, I have Peace already and strength 💪 ❤
IM DONE being an option!! I voted with my feet 3 months ago They never saw it coming ..foolishly thought I'd always be there .Superbly articulated video
My ex monkey branched to another after four mostly good years with me. He is a people pleaser who lets himself be manipulated. He also has avoidance tendencies. I tested sucure attachment style. He wanted to be friends. Nope. I let him go without tears or drama. I think he thought I would always be a part of his life. Nope. He texts occasionally for birthdays , and holidays. I have decided to stop responding to texts. Instead of no contact, I am now going radio silence forever. Inner work hours a day for a year is paying off. I am healing, moving on, and becoming the best version of myself. I ran across this excellent video for a reason. It is so informative. 🙏💕🤗
Mine was people pleaser too & avoidant . Def c-ptsd in him. He would not commit to deeper level . Am beginning to wonder if he was sexually aloof , as def showing narcissistic traits at times .
I AM DONE BEING AN OPTION!!! I believe I actually mean it as well. I am tired of being that ride or die chick and not get the treatment in return. I don’t ask for nothing but TIME from ppl I helped out and can’t even get that smh. I’m surprisingly not sad about the ppl either. They will definitely miss me when I am gone!!!
My ex has borderline personality disorder. After 18 years of living in her hell, I walked away. Move out over a weekend, went straight through the divorce, shutting her out as much as possible. She was still texting me up to 14 years later voicing her regret. I took a lot of satisfaction in that, but I’m happily remarried for about 15 years now.
Bless you! I just got out of a few month relationship with a BPD- I am a woman and so was she Omg talk about a NIGHTMARE! Idk how you lasted so long Glad you are doing well!!
I’ve been doing this since high school. I call it “red-lining.” Before technology took over, we used day planners that had a personal phone book. If I drew a red line through your name, I was done with you forever.
This hits deep because to keep it frank I was the one chasing and feeling like I was left for dead by a person I thought had my back or really cared for me. What gets me is when random people who don’t know me or the details of the situation insert themselves and talk about how I’m crazy, this and that, jumping on the bandwagon trying to put me down too when they see I’m already down. I know karma is a real thing and I know everything that happened to me the universe has witnessed, I know from the very beginning my intentions was always pure and true, I’ve made mistakes because I’m not extraterrestrial. If I didn’t care, I wouldn’t have tried so hard after being rejected over and over again and I wouldn’t have been so heartbroken after being rejected once again. I finally decided to chose myself and work on what I want in my life and not one day goes by that I don’t think the person who hurt me couldn’t someday feel the same type of pain that they put me through. I’ve left it in God’s hands.
Twenty years ago I had someone decide to 'vanish' on me without providing any closure, after a complex ten year long relationship. I thought it was extremely cruel then and I still do now js
Golly. That's not freeing. Be nice unselfishly. Keep yliving up to small worthwhile attainable goals and pick up the beat in your step. Change it up. Grow better and better. You can find the trail of purpose and not worry about stuff like that.
That's a narcissist, grown and mature people talk about their issues and don't just disappear. Many narcissists do that to their victims, they don't provide any closure, they just vanish to keep them/us hooked.
Call me Madame Houdini! I had to go NO CONTACT with my sister, son, and cousins. They spent overtime trying to manipulate me. It drained my spirit, and I gave up trying to pour my love into a bottomless pit. Narcissist do not change they only drain! Does it hurt to go no contact? Of course, it does. But my peace of mind is far more important than trying to love the unlovable.
Wow! I totally relate. I am sorry this is your reality too, but your sharing helps me know that I am not the only one who has been through this with family. What sucks is that some people actually have supportive enough/ healthy enough families to where they treat you like you are crazy or pathetic because they cannot understand why someone wouldn't talk to their "family".
I have just done this, I put up with a narcissistic friend for too long, I had been backing off for a few months she kept asking why I was not going out where she would be I could never tell her it was her. One day I got narc rage from her and she attacked me. I have blocked her and gone no contact now for nearly six weeks. I think she has got her answer now. I’m done with being an option!
I have seen what this has done to people. Sometimes the aftermath is recidivism back into drugs or alcohol or drugs. In the extreme suicide. Have a conversation a tell them your leaving and why. Then go. Remember their human beings and we’re all flawed
@ Thank You Kat. I understand that some people have had a very difficult relationship with family. a friend or lover. All I’m asking is a a conversation and Civility. Then be on your way. Walking Away, Ghosting, Disappearing any of these can and do cause tremendous damage. I wouldn’t want that on my conscience
@@billmiller1868 Thank you, I understand that some converstations are difficult and it needs a lot of courage to do that too, it's never easy, but I just believe it is the right thing to do - except when the other person is violent or abusive, that's another issue, but honesty is always the right thing between civilized people 🙏💙
I walked away after a 6 month marriage. He turned very unpredictable and violent at times. Although he never hit me, I felt that leaving him was best and I never looked back. The last time I saw him he was crying so much, and I told him, sorry it’s too late … it’s been over 10 years, and I do not regret it a bit. He took me for granted and he thought that because I loved him so much, I would never leave him, but I did. Even though it was painful for me,but I would not let anyone trash me and my dignity.
I'm done with being an option too! - both my parents were abusive narcissist's and I grew up feeling nothing I ever did was good enough, the only time my parents were happy was when I was deeply unhappy. I grew- up craving attention and throughout my adult life have always looked to others for validation, needless to say I was content with being 'an option'.
Blocked and off the Grid. I couldn’t care less. In Retrospect I was doing everything:, provided all of the Supply., This is across the Board from Family, friends, and the Ex Narcissistic Boyfriend. I left them all with no warning! They reached out a few times,, never answered: Guess what? It’s very quiet! Wow! And so it shall be! Moving forward!
I am there with her for 15 years. I know clearly that she took me for granted and she omits my needs in whatever way I explain what I need. This is obvious because she never ever responded to my hour long speeches. I couldn’t say it was a conversation because all the I was the one speaking for hours. Now I decided I have to get away but she and my daughter have no one else to take care of them in my absence. Her parents passed away years earlier. She does not have any close friends. So I just be there with them to give them protection and care suppressing my needs. How can I leave my daughter who is just 11 years old. Circumstances play a role in deciding to walk away.
I’m done being an option . I had to vanish a few months ago from a woman . She started personal attacks via texts .. attacking me , my family .. I’d had it ! I simply blocked her number , social media .. everything . I’m not losing any sleep over it !!! I’m glad that I did !
I've grown so much..learned so much.most importantly I am aware of my value and no one can ever take that away! I wish I knew what I know now many years ago.
These points you have made are not just relevant to romantic relationships, they apply to friendship and family as well. And, never take that sort of abusive person back.
My parents are like this since i ditched them. That's what they get for taking me for granted. I'm not a bragging right, nor am I a free babysitter. I'm not an object, nor am i a verbal punching bag. Im not a robot. I am me, and i choose happiness.
I’m done being an option. I’m finding me without being devalued by others and I’m starting to feel really at peace with myself . I’ve been an empath all of my life and it’s hurt too much. As my mum once said let love coke to you. He very much took me for granted.
Okay, I'm subscribed to Stoic community, and one of my current reads is "The Meditations", by Marcus Aurelius, but I must protest this video. Here's why: What if it isn't always so black or white - what if there is gray area and the person left behind did love deeply, did kind things, was affectionate, kind, a good listener, thoughtful, funny, silly, created many shared experiences over 4 years(like concerts, day trips, hikes, art shows, family get togethers, workouts, mtn biking, walks, cozy dinner and movies etc) but learned about things like their own childhood trauma and fearful-avoidant attachment style too late? What if they did show up, but their attachment style prevented them from showing up CONSISTENTLY? I understand that we are all responsible to recognize and correct our problems so that we can be good, functional, responsible people, and good partners - but what if the "horrible" person just did not realize where their patterns of behavior were coming from, or why they push people away and that counseling is needed? The video is potentially dangerous because decent people who have been left in this manner can commit suicide - even if they're in counseling and doing deep introspection, learning, and growth. I know about suicide. This video might be the the last thing someone needs to commit suicide- especially if there are existing mental health issues like depression or anxiety. Depression in particular. I agree that no one should ever be taken for granted or just be an "option". I believe healthy relationships take 2 healthy people, work, commitment, and some sacrifices to be made (like the fearful-avoidants so called "independence") The points regarding the benefits and growth the person who walks away gains are valid and good, but they're made in a subtly hateful and not so subtly vengeful way, that whispers to the person being left behind - the one being ghosted - " just kill yourself." There is nothing useful said about the other human being in the equation, and there needs to be. BOTH sides need to be positively addressed in a video like this.
Im estranged from my son..i didnt text or call him yesterday on Thanksgiving..he finally text at 4 and said happy Thanksgiving i love you..i waited about an hour and text back
I'm done being an option. Did this a a day ago. Have to protect my peace
You deserve to be a priority, not an option. Protecting your worth is an important step to building a better life. Continue to be strong and set clear boundaries! 💪✨
good stay safe and always value you you precious and we all need to have respect, love, being cherished I have been gone fore 15 days now and I am finding myself singing , sleeping well, laughing more, its all an amazing feeling.....
Am done being an option
Yes indeed.
The truth is no one cares if you disappear
I'M DONE BEING AN OPTION!! I NEED TO HAVE SELF RESPECT FOR MYSELF!! THAT'S THE TRUTH!!
🙌🙌🙌
How did you do it that
Same here
❤️✊
Absolutely right! Choosing self-respect over being someone's option is a powerful decision. When you prioritize yourself, you show others how you deserve to be treated. Disappearing from toxic situations isn't just an escape-it's a statement of your worth. Stay strong and keep putting yourself first! 💪✨
I moved across the other side of the country and completely disappeared and went "dark" ;I made myself the option. I learned that when your life falls apart, its really falling into place and you need to see it as this 🙂
I need what you just posted. Thank you
@@rodneyhenchliffe754 I sincerely hope it works out for you Rodney. Best of luck
@billmiller1868 thanks, and it has worked out. And now I'm writing the book towards helping others trying to end psychopathological narcissistic abuse in their life.
@@rodneyhenchliffe754 Many Thanks @rodneyhenchliffe754 I wish you the best of success and you have chosen a great vocation. Nothing worth doing is easy! Best of Luck Rodney. Actually luck has nothing to do with it,hard work does
Outstanding COMMENT MAN!! I two , thought I was suffering and things couldn’t get any worse! But in reality, best thing ever happened got me! I dumped all SELF SERVING so called friends! Trust me, 98% of who used to call friends are REJECTED - IM GOOD!!!!
It has been 9 years since I walked away. I never looked back since , it wasn’t easy, but I feel stronger now, wiser and more independent.
9 years and you're still talking about it?
@@mypassions8880 u made it Congrats
Did this 3 years ago. While he was out playing tennis I threw my clothes and stuff in the car, went to the bank and took my money out and left town for good. Best thing I ever did.
I left my family , fake friends and never looked back. Not being loved is horrible, my whole life mentally abused, missed goals. Now I live better than ever building my life at 52 with my precious children. Even Immigrated from my native Dutch roots to spain andalucia. Nothing is easy but way better. I'm done being an option ❤🙏🏽
@@charlie-girl72 i am 70! and i want to tell you that you have many years to go. Enjoy every day as a gift from God .
🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻
Similar situation here and also not looking back. I’m so happy for you ❤
Wonderful. Topic: Silence. Nothing is more powerful than silence. Ban people from your life who harm you. I am very lucky that since I am self-employed and downsized my life, I am surrounded by only good friends, honest friends, people who not only speak but follow with action. This is one of the greatest presents I received in life. Also cut my narcissistic mother out of my life. Since then, life is so much lighter, easier, happier.
I’m so proud of you Thank you sharing May every aspect of your life day by day become more joyful and prosperous
Truth! They love to argue and put you down, I didn't gave any of them any chance, those are abusers and deeply jealous envious. Now I magnet kind people! Self Worth is powerful and magical. Silence is gold ❤
Hey can you tell me more about narccacist mother behaviour?
@ plenty of videos online here on RUclips. It would fill a book if I would write you here.
❤
I blocked that person for good and it’s been more than a month! Thanks for the words of confidence
I’m proud of you. Keep your eyes on what’s ahead.
How do u feel after a month?
Funny how after 6 months, they ring the phone off the hook.
By that time you have adjusted and found a new friend
Aw that’s sad. Hope they’re doing okay.
Omg, this was so deeply satisfying. I'm two weeks into no contact. He told me a few times he knows I'm not going anywhere, that I'll always come back. Let's see about that!
Don't go back ever to him!
@helenatapper777 thank you for the encouragement, I needed it.
@@h3arty You are welcome. You are a queen and deserve so much better than him! 💜
Stay strong, narks have a strong negative energy. XOXO mutual friend
Keep strong. Don't look back, ever. More power to you!
I am done from being an option. I don't need to chasing someone WHO doesnt value me. I HAVE RESPECT OF MYSELF. . I LOVE MYSELF. I VALUED MYSELF..🙏❤️
"Just slip out the back Jack, make a new plan Stan, don't need to be coy Roy, just set yourself free."
That's one of my favorite songs from childhood.
That's a fact Jack!
Yep, it works when you walk out. They’ll chase and pursue, don’t give up, they’ll continue taking you for granted once you give up. This is a life changing decision. Changing for the better. You deserve it! Be proud of yourself, have dignity and integrity, you’re no more an option; you have control of your life and emotions. It’ll take time but you’ll come out on top, a winner!!! Suffering is part of life, don’t be afraid, it cleanses and brings you to higher levels of success. You’ll be alright!
I’m done being an option long ago. 2 years 4 months and counting. Never go back. Never look back. They were strangers from the start. Never ever mistake them for family, again!
When you vanish without a word, it creates mystery-and reflection.
It only creates the option you are totaly jerk 🎉
@@bzuco890🙄
I’m done being an option. I chose the love that chooses me. ❤
He pulled the silent ghosting for 41/2 years then I silently walked away 11/2 years ago
Takes tremendous courage and facing my fears separate from him
I'm done being an option. 3 people in a relationship is a crowd.
INDEED🎉❤
Got that right!
Exactly, and really good for you realizing your self worth.❤ Five days ago he suggested us having an open relationship, as he both wanted his freedom seeing other women and keeping me, he said. I've not given him an answer yet, but of course my answer is NO. Now I've disappeared on him completely. I can feel his energy that he is worried, lost, confused, and scared of losing me for good now. 😀
@@helenatapper777 why are men such Aholes???
@Helenatapper777, stay”lost” and don’t let him find you, ever! He doesn’t deserve you. He’s insecure, immature, and if he wants to date others, you’re only an option. Hell NO and no!
My option is me, my self love, self worth, self respect. No Ill will on the broken souls that can’t even chose themselves let alone another person. Walking away isn’t a game but a mindset shift. If someone does not have the ability to love you as much as you love you then that’s the choice. You! It always was you and always will be you.
Couldn't of said it better!
I'm done. After coming in and out of my life for 14 years, I called him out on his lies. He did not see it coming. It was so liberating. It's been 5 months now and even though doing this hurt me too, I did not budge an inch. I am really done. I feel so free!
Fuck yea gurl get it. I type this in a mcdonalds parking lot because I left and sleeping in my car too.
I’m really proud of you, sis. Keep your focus forward and continue loving yourself.
Good for you girl 🙏🏻
@@joshuawest5967 Go you! Smart and STRONG af! Better times are around the corner for you.
THIS is brutal😮 I wish I had had this video 30 years ago❤
12 years ago! 4 years ago! 😂
I did this & she contacted all of my relatives & created all kinds of chaos so take this as a warning!!!
I’m done being an option. Did this yesterday💪
good job keep up the work you precious to have all things in life that give us joy and love....
Yes leave them like a choice if you're being treated like an option
I’m not sure I have anyone who would really care if I disappeared. I don’t think they would even care to contact me. I don’t think people care one way or another anymore.
I know how you feel. I feel the same way
Feel the same
Same here. But the most important thing is for us to care about ourselves. Do things we love that makes us happy, for example go for long walks in nature and by the sea, eat healthy, meditate etc.
You are feeling exactly how they want you to feel....unimportant
They will miss you...sometimes it takes time.
Be patient , you'll win!
Wow! I totally relate to that, and it's sad!
moved, new number...the relationship made me feel a new type of lonely
Well done, I'm proud of you ❤ never look back. Better to be alone than in bad company!
I’ve been done being an option! disappeared a year ago and never looked back. Lol
Im on month 1. Sleepin in the car. Any kids?
@ yes 3 kids. Do you have any kids?
I'm done being an option!! Period!
I’m done being an option… I have self-respect I finally realized I love myself more than I love him although I do love him very much. Praying he’ll come back, but only if he changes praying to God in the universe for change Taurus from Tampa.
You'll be ok whatever happens 🫶
I love this content. Yeah better value yourself fisrt',self respect and love yourself first.. than chasing someone who doesnt value you. ❤
I am done being an option . I have protect my emotions. 🙏🙏
I left no contact 10 months now. It was hard.
I'm done being an option, regardless of whether it's a friendship or a relationship, I've always gone the extra mile and not gotten it back in return.
Amazing.
I’m done with being an option.
I know my worth.
I know how I deserve to be treated and unconditionally loved.
This could not be a more timely message for me to receive today. After blocking someone whom I know really wasn’t expecting to be blocked.
Thank you for bringing me this message today. I am incredibly grateful.
This answers everything I needed to hear today, and gives me the reassurance that I made the right decision and took the right action.
Thank you.
For me this video is powerful. Thank you for posting. I call mybwife on things and experience her wrath. Through her trials i have been with her. Her family tried manybways of putting her in a home i have defended her. Then last month was enough. I am planning my departure. Thank you again.
Take care of you Doug.
We had the breakup and he kept posting about being happy for almost two years. Then, I changed my number focussed on my self. It has been more than a year, all I have posted is about my artwork. No instigating posts, nothing that can give any info about me. I am happy!
Yes. I'm in control now ❤
I will never let myself be an option to anyone! Five days ago he suggested us having an open relationship, as he both wanted his freedom seeing other women and keeping me, he said. I've not given him an answer yet, but of course my answer is NO. Now I've disappeared on him completely. I can feel his energy that he is worried, lost, confused, and scared of losing me for good now. 😀
Run woman run
Yes I did it immediately went into silent, but faced alone, now I’m better n getting more better, I have experienced first time of getting ghosted by someone
being ghosted when you thought you were special to someone is eye-opening. Like wow! that person should go to Hollyweird!
Keep ya head up boss.
I am totally done being an option and being taken granted of
IM DONE BEING AN OPTION!!!!! 🙌👏
I am done being option…keep my self respect.
this read is strong and amazing I love this and it is so true and I have walked away and I am finally myself and I
I'm done being an option. Sir I owe a word of thank you because in facing these problems right now but started listening to you, I have Peace already and strength 💪 ❤
I’m done being an option. I love the love that chooses me ❤
One of the biggest human sorts of strength is the one of having the courage to walk away...
Definitely done, SO done being an option as of NOW
I'm done being an option
IM DONE being an option!! I voted with my feet 3 months ago They never saw it coming ..foolishly thought I'd always be there
.Superbly articulated video
People who ghost others are assholes. There is no other choice but to move on. I feel better giving or getting some sort of explanation for closure.
Exactly, that's narcissistic abuse. Grown people talk about their issues and not just dissapear. That's what narcissists do.
@Kat_Rose truth 🙌
@@she-ra0622 Yup 👍
@@Kat_Rose I sent a message Kat
To abuse there are no words left to say- you block !!!!
I'm done being an option... Im going to find my own happiness..
My ex monkey branched to another after four mostly good years with me. He is a people pleaser who lets himself be manipulated. He also has avoidance tendencies. I tested sucure attachment style. He wanted to be friends. Nope. I let him go without tears or drama. I think he thought I would always be a part of his life. Nope. He texts occasionally for birthdays , and holidays. I have decided to stop responding to texts. Instead of no contact, I am now going radio silence forever. Inner work hours a day for a year is paying off. I am healing, moving on, and becoming the best version of myself. I ran across this excellent video for a reason. It is so informative. 🙏💕🤗
Mine was people pleaser too & avoidant . Def c-ptsd in him. He would not commit to deeper level . Am beginning to wonder if he was sexually aloof , as def showing narcissistic traits at times .
I'm done being an option! This is a great and fabulous stoic video.
I appreciate your time and effort in helping me uplift and grow. 🎩
Someone has to care 1st to be bothered by your absence.
I’m done being an option. Thank You❤️
I’m done being an option 💎
Do what you want while you still can...
I am done being an option. Empowering and inspirational. I have shared widely....thanks to stoicism
I never do respond, When I'm gone,I'm just gone,This is the lesson, they have to learn how to treat people🙏🏽
I AM DONE BEING AN OPTION!!! I believe I actually mean it as well. I am tired of being that ride or die chick and not get the treatment in return. I don’t ask for nothing but TIME from ppl I helped out and can’t even get that smh. I’m surprisingly not sad about the ppl either. They will definitely miss me when I am gone!!!
I'm done being an option. Tired of making all the effort & being ignored. Only mattered at his convenience. So exhausting.
My ex has borderline personality disorder. After 18 years of living in her hell, I walked away. Move out over a weekend, went straight through the divorce, shutting her out as much as possible. She was still texting me up to 14 years later voicing her regret. I took a lot of satisfaction in that, but I’m happily remarried for about 15 years now.
Bless you! I just got out of a few month relationship with a BPD- I am a woman and so was she
Omg talk about a NIGHTMARE! Idk how you lasted so long
Glad you are doing well!!
He will just replace me. He can’t be alone.
A narcissist and he will never find another you he will always try to find u in every woman
Dont think about it. We can move forward
Just move on. He is not worth you.
I’m DONE being an option!!!
Silence is Golden 🙂↕️
I'm DONE being an option. I'm slowly getting out of this hell. ☀
I'm done being an option! I disappeared from the connection days ago, blocked everything & I'm moving on!
I’ve been doing this since high school. I call it “red-lining.” Before technology took over, we used day planners that had a personal phone book. If I drew a red line through your name, I was done with you forever.
This hits deep because to keep it frank I was the one chasing and feeling like I was left for dead by a person I thought had my back or really cared for me. What gets me is when random people who don’t know me or the details of the situation insert themselves and talk about how I’m crazy, this and that, jumping on the bandwagon trying to put me down too when they see I’m already down. I know karma is a real thing and I know everything that happened to me the universe has witnessed, I know from the very beginning my intentions was always pure and true, I’ve made mistakes because I’m not extraterrestrial. If I didn’t care, I wouldn’t have tried so hard after being rejected over and over again and I wouldn’t have been so heartbroken after being rejected once again. I finally decided to chose myself and work on what I want in my life and not one day goes by that I don’t think the person who hurt me couldn’t someday feel the same type of pain that they put me through. I’ve left it in God’s hands.
Thanks to this video. I'm done being an option!
Twenty years ago I had someone decide to 'vanish' on me without providing any closure, after a complex ten year long relationship. I thought it was extremely cruel then and I still do now js
What did you do to make them do it?
@@designhub360customapparel Never got to find out...
Golly.
That's not freeing.
Be nice unselfishly.
Keep yliving up to small worthwhile attainable goals and pick up the beat in your step. Change it up. Grow better and better. You can find the trail of purpose and not worry about stuff like that.
That's a narcissist, grown and mature people talk about their issues and don't just disappear. Many narcissists do that to their victims, they don't provide any closure, they just vanish to keep them/us hooked.
@@Kat_Rose Wow. We live and learn...
One of the best videos I have watched
Call me Madame Houdini! I had to go NO CONTACT with my sister, son, and cousins. They spent overtime trying to manipulate me. It drained my spirit, and I gave up trying to pour my love into a bottomless pit. Narcissist do not change they only drain! Does it hurt to go no contact? Of course, it does. But my peace of mind is far more important than trying to love the unlovable.
Wow! I totally relate. I am sorry this is your reality too, but your sharing helps me know that I am not the only one who has been through this with family.
What sucks is that some people actually have supportive enough/ healthy enough families to where they treat you like you are crazy or pathetic because they cannot understand why someone wouldn't talk to their "family".
I got rid of 90% percent of the people in my life 8 or 9 years ago. I don't miss them and hopefully they don't miss me
This channel changed my mindset.... Thanks a lot.. God bless you🙏 Now i realize my worth
God wants me to shine not disappear.
I have just done this, I put up with a narcissistic friend for too long, I had been backing off for a few months she kept asking why I was not going out where she would be I could never tell her it was her. One day I got narc rage from her and she attacked me. I have blocked her and gone no contact now for nearly six weeks. I think she has got her answer now. I’m done with being an option!
I have seen what this has done to people. Sometimes the aftermath is recidivism back into drugs or alcohol or drugs. In the extreme suicide. Have a conversation a tell them your leaving and why. Then go. Remember their human beings and we’re all flawed
No you gotta be done talking..
Exactly, grown and mature people talk about their issues and try to resolve them and not dissapear without a closure or an explanation, that's abuse.
@ Thank You Kat. I understand that some people have had a very difficult relationship with family. a friend or lover. All I’m asking is a a conversation and Civility. Then be on your way. Walking Away, Ghosting, Disappearing any of these can and do cause tremendous damage. I wouldn’t want that on my conscience
@@billmiller1868 Thank you, I understand that some converstations are difficult and it needs a lot of courage to do that too, it's never easy, but I just believe it is the right thing to do - except when the other person is violent or abusive, that's another issue, but honesty is always the right thing between civilized people 🙏💙
@@Kat_Rosewhat about when you’ve told them several times how they’re making you feel, and they say they’ll do better and then don’t?
The BEST !! 👏🏾 Great job!💟 Thx🥰
IM DONE BEING AN OPTION!!!!!
I walked away after a 6 month marriage. He turned very unpredictable and violent at times. Although he never hit me, I felt that leaving him was best and I never looked back. The last time I saw him he was crying so much, and I told him, sorry it’s too late … it’s been over 10 years, and I do not regret it a bit. He took me for granted and he thought that because I loved him so much, I would never leave him, but I did. Even though it was painful for me,but I would not let anyone trash me and my dignity.
I'm done with being an option too! - both my parents were abusive narcissist's and I grew up feeling nothing I ever did was good enough, the only time my parents were happy was when I was deeply unhappy. I grew- up craving attention and throughout my adult life have always looked to others for validation, needless to say I was content with being 'an option'.
I can relate..Jesus is the only One who can heal that kind of pain.
I AM DONE BEEN AN OPTION. BEVER AGAIN I WILL
Silence is your Superpower.
Blocked and off the Grid. I couldn’t care less. In Retrospect I was doing everything:, provided all of the Supply., This is across the Board from Family, friends, and the Ex Narcissistic Boyfriend.
I left them all with no warning! They reached out a few times,, never answered: Guess what? It’s very quiet! Wow! And so it shall be! Moving forward!
I am there with her for 15 years. I know clearly that she took me for granted and she omits my needs in whatever way I explain what I need. This is obvious because she never ever responded to my hour long speeches. I couldn’t say it was a conversation because all the I was the one speaking for hours. Now I decided I have to get away but she and my daughter have no one else to take care of them in my absence. Her parents passed away years earlier. She does not have any close friends. So I just be there with them to give them protection and care suppressing my needs. How can I leave my daughter who is just 11 years old. Circumstances play a role in deciding to walk away.
I’m done being an option . I had to vanish a few months ago from a woman . She started personal attacks via texts .. attacking me , my family .. I’d had it ! I simply blocked her number , social media .. everything . I’m not losing any sleep over it !!! I’m glad that I did !
I've grown so much..learned so much.most importantly I am aware of my value and no one can ever take that away! I wish I knew what I know now many years ago.
I am so done and I am not an option. I have gone silent and I'm in control.
These points you have made are not just relevant to romantic relationships, they apply to friendship and family as well. And, never take that sort of abusive person back.
I am so done being an option for him..I walked away in total silence with my dignity in tact.
My parents are like this since i ditched them. That's what they get for taking me for granted. I'm not a bragging right, nor am I a free babysitter. I'm not an object, nor am i a verbal punching bag. Im not a robot. I am me, and i choose happiness.
I’m done being an option. I’m finding me without being devalued by others and I’m starting to feel really at peace with myself . I’ve been an empath all of my life and it’s hurt too much. As my mum once said let love coke to you. He very much took me for granted.
I’m done being an option! That was never a thing in the first place !! 👏🏼
Not always . Ppl have disappeared from my life and I’ve never felt more relieved
Were u treating them bad ?
@ nope. I never treat anyone bad. They were treating me bad but there silence never bade me think or miss thdm
@@Freckly563 well u were never going to miss them if they were the ones treating u bad.
@ true
Okay, I'm subscribed to Stoic community, and one of my current reads is "The Meditations", by Marcus Aurelius, but I must protest this video. Here's why:
What if it isn't always so black or white - what if there is gray area and the person left behind did love deeply, did kind things, was affectionate, kind, a good listener, thoughtful, funny, silly, created many shared experiences over 4 years(like concerts, day trips, hikes, art shows, family get togethers, workouts, mtn biking, walks, cozy dinner and movies etc) but learned about things like their own childhood trauma and fearful-avoidant attachment style too late?
What if they did show up, but their attachment style prevented them from showing up CONSISTENTLY?
I understand that we are all responsible to recognize and correct our problems so that we can be good, functional, responsible people, and good partners - but what if the "horrible" person just did not realize where their patterns of behavior were coming from, or why they push people away and that counseling is needed?
The video is potentially dangerous because decent people who have been left in this manner can commit suicide - even if they're in counseling and doing deep introspection, learning, and growth. I know about suicide.
This video might be the the last thing someone needs to commit suicide- especially if there are existing mental health issues like depression or anxiety. Depression in particular.
I agree that no one should ever be taken for granted or just be an "option". I believe healthy relationships take 2 healthy people, work, commitment, and some sacrifices to be made (like the fearful-avoidants so called "independence")
The points regarding the benefits and growth the person who walks away gains are valid and good, but they're made in a subtly hateful and not so subtly vengeful way, that whispers to the person being left behind - the one being ghosted - " just kill yourself."
There is nothing useful said about the other human being in the equation, and there needs to be. BOTH sides need to be positively addressed in a video like this.
Thank God please God amen amen amen 😊
I'm done being an option. I deserve to be a priority and I won't settle for anything less than what I deserve 👑 💪
Im estranged from my son..i didnt text or call him yesterday on Thanksgiving..he finally text at 4 and said happy Thanksgiving i love you..i waited about an hour and text back
Mistake why did u Tex back that means u still care
Still care bout situation u will always love your son u have to go off grid for awhile
God bless you. I needed this to remind myself why🙏🏾 one year no contact jan 1 2025
Never underestimate your own mental peace, and remove those who are only willing to use you as an option
Absolutely,I have moved on and I will not except Then back in my life✌️ Forgiveness 🙏🏽 That is all❤