Men Have a Hard Time Not THINKING ABOUT YOU When You Tell Them This
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- Опубликовано: 4 окт 2024
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Men Have a Hard Time Not THINKING ABOUT YOU When You Tell Him This
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The fear for me of jumping into another relationship too quickly is getting entangled with another narcissist. Hands-down the worst experience of my life. Anyone that's been through narcissistic abuse will agree that it changes you forever.
I know exactly what you mean. I prefer being single for life than ever be in a relationship with another narc.
Same
Apparently one needs to be deprogrammed and go through intensive heave trauma therapy to even have a chance after such experience. Most times people end up either rushing back into another narcissistic situation or so burned they stay emotionally uninvolved either getting into a strange situationship or just stay away from relationships altogether and alienate.
Healing after narc abuse is necessary or else one carries it around to everything else.
Yes! I can relate to being forever changed by being in narcissistic relationships!
I completely understand that , I was raised by two narcissists . It was absolute hell .
Men and women are so different, I am always astonished when 2 people do make it work.
Indeed
Absolutely
Very rare
My condolences on the passing of your son. I lost my only child 22 yrs ago. He was 4 yrs.
It's not easy to loose anyone especially a child whom you expect might outlive you. I lost my son 8 years ago. He was 21
Hi Johnathan, I am 57 today, I was diagnosed with a terminal illness in 2016, with a year to live, I don't act or look ill these days, I'm very active, and attractive, adventurous and avery positive person, I work hard, and have a healthy diet, and a lot of love to give. I'm sure that's why I'm still alive LOL , but I'm not sure how to go about finding a prospective husband to live my life with,. I try to hide my illness, until they get to know who I am first, but still in fear that they will go the other direction. PS, I don't look at my present or my future as.... I am dying,! I look at it as, I am living! 😁
Happy Birthday... sending light and love your way.
@@JonathonAslay thank you Jonathan.
WOW!
GOD BLESS YOU!
I agree. "In love" is something so indescribable. Once you have it, you realize what you've been missing.❤
Exactly
I have definitely felt that vibration, I met my partner on Match after 4 years of saying I wouldn't do dating apps, things are amazing between us, I definitely believe I have found my soul mate, I have never felt like this before in a relationship even with my ex husband of 25 years, who I had my 3 children with 🥰❤️xxx
Wonderful to hear this. You give us all hope. I know many friends who say they never felt connected to their ex spouse who they were married to for 30 plus years.
Thanks for sharing!!
Me too!!! But only had 2 kids. Didn’t think this was possible, but it is, we are both 61, we met while both eating dinner alone at a spots bar…amazing connection ❤🙏
I'm a woman and I have a hard time receiving love, but the paradox is that I crave it more than anything in the world. I've just learned through personal experience that whenever the word "love" is mentioned in a relationship, everything goes south. (which constitutes 90% of my attempts at relationships over nearly 50 years)
A man who fights every good shining thing about you that drew him to you in the first place ~ is wrestling with his own issues and self worth. And, over time, the closer he gets to your beautiful bright spirit, the more he sees and is frustrated and angered about what he lacks. It's called projection. Either he deals with it, or he stays sorrowful ~ and becomes angrier over time at you for choosing not only his strengths, but especially his broken-ness. No one can thrive in pity due to what's lacking. No one can fix it, but himself.
Well said!
Brilliant insight.
Well said!
I admire and respect men that arent pick up artists. 👍
🙏
I LOVE this topic. I “like” VERY few people. It’s SO telling. My ex couldn’t receive love. He didn’t like himself very much either.
My father was old school 3 daughters 2sons I remember him asking me before he walked me down the aisle I will never forget what he asked me Do you like this man not do y love him but do y like him & he was right…like everything you’re saying
It's about personal integrity, and your level of commitment towards the person of interest.
Exactly
*Communication is key, and knowing what impacts a man's thoughts is empowering. Let's embrace this knowledge and strive for meaningful connections.*
There should be more men like you. I like you , Jonathon! You help so many of us. ❤️
Awe... thanks ☺️
No it doesn't need to be hard work , it's about, like you said... personal comfort in the relationship. Being polite, generally concerned for the other person involved, and fighting fairly without using their past against them. Just saying.
Exactly, Angela. Tough to find an emotionally mature guy these days, though. I'd say less than 10 percent are out there and still single.
Indeed
Exactly!
Well put Angela. I have been married 35 yrs now and me and hubby agree its been easy for us. Too many things in life are 'hard' already. Kindness, being polite and respectful, being generous and authentic with praise and complements go a LONG way. Putting each other FIRST and actually wanting to do so is real, true love❤
Definitely experienced the vibrational friction that went from anxiety and awkwardness to super calm and easy on the 5th encounter. We're not dating. He's my mechanic. We have very good chemistry. We've been crushing on each other all summer. He completely changed from his boyish flirting on the first interaction to being a perfect gentlemen now. I think he realized that I am his future wife and is taking it slow. Definitely telling him I like him on the next visit!
Please update us on your mechanic!
@@taleandclawrock2606 still working on his confidence! He made sure my last appointment wasn’t cancelled even though they were short staffed. He did the oil change himself. He got such a rush of energy when I walked in there! I wore my faux leather yoga pants just to provoke him! 😜He’s almost ready!
I had a person in my life who cleaned my vomit , took me to the Dr, and had my back in every sense...
Unfortunately, he passed away! I'm yet to cross paths with anyone that comes close!
I said I like you to my new man and he lit right up. He blushed and said he liked me too.
When we pass we go to God Amen 💞💞💞💞💞
For sure, before telling someone you “like” them, you must really mean it. And if you really like someone, it is so important to still remain unattached about the person until you figure out how much you could really like or dislike everything or the most important aspects about them.
Before you could say you like someone, the whole process involves getting past figuring out if the person is someone you can even trust, that is a big segment, values you agree with (they don’t have values that freak you out).
My condoleances with the loss of your son 😢 I lost my dad 2 years ago, now THAT was a very likeable man 🤗🙏
Been recently dating a new person and tried the I like you and it was super nice to hear it back. 👍
But I don't think I could have gotten here without healing my past. I am an empath and those narcissists like me. The last person I dated was one, my ex husband was one, my continuous picking of the wrong guy had me look into why. I took an 8 week class on narcissism and codependency that helped me see what to look for... the terms and tools to assist me. I'm free! I finally got the self awareness and self love to not draw in that kind of person anymore. I took time to heal, year and half of no dating. Met this man through common friends, it's going nice and slow, no love bombing and it feels much different than before. Thanks for the tips!
“ I like you”, means I’m not really attracted to you. Just want to be casual friends. Men and women can carry toxicities including narcissism, ptsd, adhd and others. Yes. For me, ten years in and out of a toxic relationship. The last year and a half i have been healing and in transformation. Loving myself and creating authentic boundaries to separate from this toxic, non committal relationship that is extremely one sided.
I don't think that is the point Jonathan is trying to make. I guess there are so many factors determining delivery as well as receiving message. I'm just dating and one guy is holding my interest more than others.....when you're new in a "getting to know" status I thi k it's perfect.
You are such a beautiful and articulate soul, Jonathan. Your videos and advice mean so much to us. You express the male psyche so well. Thank you so much for your content. Means so much. You have helped me and many countless other women in personal development and creating positive change forward. Love from Melbourne, Australia.
Wow, thank you!
Johnathan..Just wanted to mention ur bookcase, displayed books & plant look VERY NICE 👍 Thank You for ur Caring about our Cultural stupidity & need for goid advice in these times.
So nice of you
I think real love is effortless and unquestionable, while actually there is a lot of spending time together and a lot of effort
🤗 sending You hugs Jonathon
Acceptance takes effort because no two people are alike.
I was in security and there was someone performing that I had to check in at his own performance , and thought he was married like 21 yrs ago, but never was, he looked like he was married because of the way he carries himself as so independent, over the years watched videos of this artist, but compared him to how three people look and carry themselves two being celebrities a COUNTRY MUSIC Star and a movie star. I literally shared with him that he could do a HALLMARK FILM of his life and bringing out his songs into an live experience. Now we are sharing things of a future, I just kept shaking my head over how me and him have in common being the oldest being into moving around and love beaches and tropical places so much, I really was not into hanging out with one bf he really never dated females long terms in school. It's wild how much he now thinks of me, I told him that I kissed Mickey Gilley and my mind thinks of him carrying himself much like Mickey Gilley. If I tell too much of this people will put too much into and realize how he is and obviously know who exactly he is, and it's not suppose to be revealed just yet.
It only applies if he has a functioning soul, an intelligent heart, a desire to serve and adore you and learn
Most humans are hurting on the inside...
Back in the 90s l had the sensation of falling into a man's eyes. I was weightless there was no fear. The crush was mutual but he was committed to someone else and stayed with her. I respected that. So a physical response to someone does not mean that much.
If you plan a life together you do need to be comfortable with each other. As you explore compatibility, honesty is the key. Just be yourself. Things will naturally progress.
@Fox1nDen
I wouldn't have wanted to have been his partner !!
Great and timely show today Jonathan! I'm gaining confidence in radical honesty. Also wanted to add that we put too much expectation on approaching men to "flirt." I used to be so shy, but after managing conferences I became very accustomed to speaking with loads of people I don't know. Just go up to the guy and talk like he's your brother. You'll know right away if he wants to continue talking. And if not, no worries. You didn't lose anything by speaking to a cute man. 😉 I think some of us were taught not to be desperate and chase. But I've seen women who go after what they want, get it! Just don't be a stalker 😂
Thanks for sharing...
Most meaningful partnerships I've had were borne out of established friendships 🙂
I like you ! I'm learning to like myself at age 65. Low self-esteem.🎉
Jonathon - The Notebook - is an incredible movie. The story is so beautiful.
I know, right? :)
To be in love you must be willing to make yourself vulnerable to another.
You really explained it all. Even he said or relationship goes back to our early connection. We say to each other….no walls between us. I feel glued to hiby a couple different things. Butasyou now, I at ties feel that uncertainty. You have such a level of understanding. I started a new diary, and answering all these things you put forth has helped me. Much love💙Gail
Yes adults definitely have separation anxiety that’s one reason I find it so hard to let go
I missed the live but thanks for another great video. I live in NYC and there are tons of men but finding the right fit for me personally is the challenge. I know many single women in NYC who are frustrated with the singles scene. So much dysfunction. I also know so many women who settled and married men for their financial status and lavish lifestyle - they could care less if their husband has affairs, treats them badly, etc. It is sad honestly. Hard to find a man willing to go the distance with you and the divorce rate is so HIGH - I think this is why people remain single.
Paradox of Choice is why...
@@JonathonAslay do you think people really choose to be single? As I have said it before in some of your previous videos, this is why women put up with bad behavior because we are programmed to accept this and there are more single women in the world then men so we have less options then men. I would imagine that dating is California is much different in New York - people aren't as laid back you guys. New Yorkers are intense - I am being radically honest! That is why I practice yoga - to work on it.
@@jenniferl1908 It seems to me humans make a lot of choices based on fear and in the case of choosing to be single, sometimes it's a lack of options.
Isn’t it astounding in a city this size
@@JonathonAslayForMen true this is why I know women in uhappy marriage - they can't be alone and are being financially supported by their husband. And choosing to be single indeed a lack of options.
I have MCS and synthetic fragrances are a trigger -I get physically ill from perfumes, air deodorizers, mainstream laundry products, etc. It’s awkward sharing this info before dates, but if I don’t, many dates would be over as soon as they started.
I hear ya
Sorry to hear about your relationship J x
😂😂😂 You're so refreshingly honest Jonathan. I think every man I've ever met was ruled by his little head.
I agree 6-12 months if you are both ready and dating with intention of a committed relationship but sometimes you meet when one or both aren’t quite ready and because of the unresolved stuff we bring it can take longer to realize its safe to fall in love. You can still love each other through it all though.
Love is a beautiful energy and has power to heal.
I like you.....your real, emotionally intelligent, and yet your still manly. Well rounded!
My boyfriend of 2 years who loves me dearly said that recently …
I Like you.
Totally resonated for both of us.
Oh wow!
I have said it. Oh, he probably loved it, because it was a boost to his self-esteem, but that was as far as it went.
Kindness, gratitude, attraction...my recipe. Great video. Vibration and energy are important....feeling comfortable and being yourself...
Well said!
This is the most amazing video you have ever done. It really hit home and is the best advice you have ever given. Thank you!
Wow, thank you!
❤yes, it is so resonating with me ✨!!! So much information that I NEEDED 😂 25:29
I love the notebook! What a great story of true love ❤️
Unconditionally
Everything you've said in all your lectures I've listened to, have held true to the man I was with. One day he got mad at me because he invited me to his daughter's for Easter and that ended the most incredible relationship I've ever been in. I'm so broken hearted. You just reinforce that he loved me. All I can guess is he got afraid. We are both widows/ widowers.
Fear is the enemy to love 😔
I love how blunt and real you are. You are hilarius. 💩 or get off the pot 🤣 I really like you too.
Awe... thank you 😊
I don't. I think Jonathon can sometimes he can be highly offensive and misogynistic.
Such good information Jonathon, I've never thought about just saying I like you! How sad is that, lol. I will do this from now on, when there is a guy I like, just
saying, "I like you"! Thank you for all you do!
Go for it!
Jonathan I like you and I admire your honesty. You give me courage to be more open and have these important conversations.
👍🏼🙏✨️
You are 💯 about being dysfunctional out there .
I had said to myself that "I like you" would be the phrase you were talking about before you even said it.
👍🏼
I am ready for my first date in so many years, I’m not sure exactly how many years that is. My challenge is, the area I live in. Seems that many men who have moved here have some kind of toxicity. I believe it’s called baggage. Jonathon, I have been following you for awhile. Really appreciate your experience and insight with the subject you talk about on this video. Love and hugs to you ❤
I told him I like him and his style and he told me he likes me too. We have been dating a little over a month. I started dating him two years ago and got spooked. Not him, it was me. He found me a little over a month ago on Facebook messenger and we reignited.
Yes just give a smile say hi. And right. I'm not sure of this machine.... Be honest. And. Basically. Folks. Like. Meeting. Good folks!
I like you! The importance you are to us all. You are more important than you know. Thank you Sir!!
I appreciate that
Thank you Jonathon! This resonates so much with me.
So glad!
I like your advice and I am learning.Seriosly
I like you, too , Jonathan 🎶 don’t our hearts expand tremendously, when we lose a child, as I have,as well. Thank you for your sharing and teaching 🎶
Thanks for listening
I was thinking,,,
I like him alot
before it was mentionrd!
Great show!!
Awe... thanks ☺️
Wonderful video, Jonathon. Thank you for your openness. Yes, cologne and perfume are a big turn off. I get a headache and congested. I always ask the guy if he would mind not wearing cologne for our date.
Thanks for sharing!
You're a wonderful man! I like you! 😊
WOW, thank you for the kind words, you just made my afternoon. Much appreciated 🙏
👍👍 vibration on point and felt we knew each other. Very relaxed with him and vice versa.
Felt that comfort and ease. Nice!
I like you, Jonathon! Thank you for your advices! Greetings from Norway!
Thanks for watching!
What can i so to help mysel ro be a total receiver of his love,I REALLY LIKE this guy.
I have been listening to your videos for a long time now...i like you 😊 Jonathan!!!
I think you are a boon to us ladies because you remind us about how men think ( I agree with you.).
"I LIKE YOU"
I like you Jonathan. You are a beautiful human being.
I Like You, Jonathon Aslay !!!
Yes, I’ve been there. My husband and I were comfortable with each other from first time we spoke on the phone, it was so easy.
Thanks for sharing!!
I like you too Jonathan......alot! You talk so much sense & help so many people. I hope I meet a guy like you in the future who understands women & me.😘🤗❤️
Didn’t know about your new book. Excited to read it.
Yes, Jonathan I like you 😊
I like you Jonathon. I like your BIG heart. ♥️
The NOTEBOOK TOTALLY MY FAVORITE MOVIE!
You are the BEST!
Yes, I’m sensitive to strong fragrances and perfume. Hairspray, cologne, perfume become activated with sweat at gym and make me move locations.
Thanks for sharing!!
Using your advice…Hi Jonathan…would love to meet you
😊
Johnathan, you are so strong!!! Thank you for sharing your life and knowledge with us. ❤❤❤
You are so welcome
Yes the vibration
Exactly
youre videos are getting better and they're already great Jonathon youre so grounded its fantastic
WOW, thank you 😊
Hello,I really enjoy your way to be, thank you soo much for many reasons: for showing a very sincere feeling and share these ones with us, to speaking about even delicate things in such a clear way,to wanting to help as much as you can to many of us...I like you indeed!
Thank you so much!
I like you Jonathon- you just get better and better. I like you!!
One of your best talks.
The Note Book- I loved that movie too. True love. I get teary o all those things too. You are a beautiful human. I wish I was younger as we are perfect together. You a such a gem.❤
On another note, I got back with this guy I was on/off for 6 years. Initially limerance in the 4 catch up meets, however I used this time to heal from upsets when he ghosted me. Surpriseingly he was happy to also discuss. I thought great! Then we had a big day out, ending up in bed yet again but!!!! I queried him over a text about a song he loved. A different drum- Linda Ronstandt…. I said are you suggesting something through this song. Well he got irritated and said I just like the song and this is what I cannot stand how you make assumptions. So now I see if he hates that then he is not accepting me as me. I was stupid to assume etc. Now, I no longer want to see him because if he can’t accept me he can never really like me. He has intolerance… I just let him blow off and think that’s him… still like him wArts and all. So this has been really an eye opener….. he will never change and our relationship has no point. Yet I nursed him through prostate cancer… but i know he
would not do as much for me. It says a lot, so I am happy to put him behind me and move on. xx
WOW, thank you 😊
I like this. Think it’s also important to bring I like me to the equation 👍🏼 it’s something I’m presently working on to get to an appropriate place to be in the dating game. Then I will know when I am ready to be a mature partner. 👏
Well said 👏
You are very wise. I need to really like myself AGAIN 😊 10:14
10 mins in I clicked "save"!
Yes I will
Yes you correct
Raises my hand I have. It is frustrating when it is all they do. They get upset with a person when you try to get them to think about other things more important in the long run. I agree with the building of the deep roots of trust many will not even work on it. Yes! An emotionally available or grown-up man. A 'real man' seems to be thrown about quit a lot anymore. I feel has negative affect on men in general. I had guys like me on the dating sites. I have asked why they liked me. Some answer and others don't. I am a generator on the human design. I wait for the opportunity to show itself and I make a decision then. Oddly I have done this all my life. I try anything else and it never works out. lol Don't feel bad about the cologne and perfume thing. I am sensitive also and always have been, especially when people wear a lot and it is super strong smell.
Agreed
All in love is when one is week the other one is the whole.
Synchronisation was there. It didn't last long though 😢 it is a dilemma. Intentions. Yes 🙏
Question: I find many people have trouble loving themselves based on the types of low vibrational/toxic relationships they have experienced. What is the best encouragement one can give when that person isn't even there yet? So what's the lead in for them that allows them to begin to evaluate?
Yes i will say that even after i did like my husband
Yes. I have experienced it! I thought, wow! What was that?
I like you Jonathon
The man im spending time with let me know he can't " get it up" kinda in a rip the bandaid off kind of way. But now i know that's off the table going forward .
Sadly, this happens to a lot of men...