When He Says THIS, You're About To Get Your Heart Broken

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  • Опубликовано: 17 дек 2023
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    - When He Says THIS, You're About To Get Your Heart Broken

Комментарии • 343

  • @JonathonAslay
    @JonathonAslay  6 месяцев назад +6

    FREE Call with Jonathon► jonathonaslay.com/coaching
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  • @patty8945
    @patty8945 6 месяцев назад +93

    I have learned to walk away when someone is not taking me seriously, either in a friendship or romantic relationship, one of the most important lessons I have learned.

    • @JonathonAslay
      @JonathonAslay  6 месяцев назад +6

      Thanks for sharing 👍🏼

    • @mommagoosesgoodiesandgarde2290
      @mommagoosesgoodiesandgarde2290 6 месяцев назад +9

      I’m learning this rt now! I feel like my eyes are wide open

    • @Obtlgw
      @Obtlgw 6 месяцев назад +8

      Smart cookie you are. I have learned this late in life. Oh well. Better late than never. lol

    • @agasza3
      @agasza3 6 месяцев назад +2

      I am joining the club 😅

    • @sherriflemming3218
      @sherriflemming3218 6 месяцев назад +4

      Absolutely. These boots are made for walking.

  • @bonniejones7919
    @bonniejones7919 6 месяцев назад +116

    I totally agreed with all of these. I dated a man for only a couple months and he said all of these! We both are 66. I'm widowed. He went from dating to let's be just friends. I found out that he is a serial dater. I was married my whole life so this dating scene to me is already bizarre!

    • @JonathonAslay
      @JonathonAslay  6 месяцев назад +5

      I understand

    • @Obtlgw
      @Obtlgw 6 месяцев назад +10

      Bonnie -same here. I totally can relate to what you shared here. I’m glad you left the guy. My guy was a widow as am I. I was married forever too so it’s so difficult. I am 60 and it is much more difficult to deal with in our age bracket . The likelihood of us finding someone normal …well I am
      Feeling discouraged! Anyway much luck to you !!

    • @glendagai
      @glendagai 6 месяцев назад +4

      Dated a man for months. He was always wanting more and was always right. I was not where he was and he would not slow down. I called it quits

    • @Obtlgw
      @Obtlgw 6 месяцев назад +1

      @@glendagai good for you and glad you left him. Sounds like a selfish and stubborn man!!

    • @sherriflemming3218
      @sherriflemming3218 6 месяцев назад

      Agree Marcie.

  • @SuzieQ7983
    @SuzieQ7983 6 месяцев назад +49

    I have dated a guy for a month. Then I traveled back to see my family for two weeks. He immediately said “I don’t anticipate talking to you everyday or often.” I had just listened to this video when this happened. I told him “I don’t see this relationship advancing and wished him well.”
    I’m through wasting my time on this kind of man.

    • @sherriflemming3218
      @sherriflemming3218 6 месяцев назад +2

      👍 Suzie
      Also, I cannot meet your needs to talk daily, or I don't have time to talk regularly, or the lame busy excuse.
      Right don't waste your valuable time.! He isn't worth yours.

    • @enjoythespectacular
      @enjoythespectacular 4 месяца назад

      Or…. He was giving you space to be with your family and was saying he wouldn’t be upset if if weren’t able to call or text

  • @northshorelight35
    @northshorelight35 6 месяцев назад +67

    As a woman, ALWAYS DATE WITH INTENTION. We're really not wired to "take it slow and see where it goes."

    • @Theinfamouskiki411
      @Theinfamouskiki411 6 месяцев назад +5

      YOU AINT LYING!

    • @sherriflemming3218
      @sherriflemming3218 6 месяцев назад +4

      Fact

    • @elaussies
      @elaussies 3 месяца назад +1

      Agree 100%. When I am bothered I usually resort to twisted humor. It is a defense mechanism. I don’t like being caught up in this because then I’m not investing in building.
      In the case of let’s see where it goes…”Let’s bring in the monkeys “. Hopefully this comment won’t offend anyone. I’ve used this when I have been angry & didn’t think he deserved more of a response

    • @SaystheTruth3
      @SaystheTruth3 Месяц назад

      I believe too many women are rushed to marry.
      Get to know someone.

    • @IslandB
      @IslandB 14 дней назад +1

      I am amazed how I tolerated this man! Although I sent him "this relationship has ended" email two years ago, I am able to get "bored, uninterested" only now.. poor me!

  • @rebel5140
    @rebel5140 6 месяцев назад +68

    I feel exhilarated in just dumping someone who was trying to set me up as a placeholder.....and I didn't even give him sex! It is empowering to know I don't have to settle.

    • @sherriflemming3218
      @sherriflemming3218 6 месяцев назад +2

      Go Rebel! 👍

    • @rebeccaperson8581
      @rebeccaperson8581 2 месяца назад +2

      How was he setting you up as a placeholder?

    • @Portia620
      @Portia620 Месяц назад

      @@rebeccaperson8581that’s my question? How did you know. Share

  • @natureflowadventure4158
    @natureflowadventure4158 6 месяцев назад +36

    My grandmother, who had been married and divorced, met the love of her life when she was in her 60's and he was in his 50's.

  • @Obtlgw
    @Obtlgw 6 месяцев назад +34

    With my past guy I noticed he was very attentive and as soon he was secure that I’d stay with him …then he’d slack off and start to breadcrumb me. When I pulled away some, he wasn’t sure he “had me” and would
    Be mister charming …but when I reciprocated my feelings matching his..funny he’d not be as attentive. I hated having to keep him in check. He let his grown kids control him and influence us. He wasn’t consistent !! I had to end it and it broke my heart but I wasn’t about to tolerate that and forever not trust him. Simply put, the guy never earned my trust

    • @walkaminutewithme4787
      @walkaminutewithme4787 6 месяцев назад +2

      100 same here 😢

    • @Strive.in.the.cause.of.Allah.
      @Strive.in.the.cause.of.Allah. 6 месяцев назад +4

      Looks like he had attachment issues.

    • @1991windsor
      @1991windsor 6 месяцев назад +3

      I'm in the same situation right now.😢

    • @LisaGemini
      @LisaGemini 6 месяцев назад

      That's an emotionally constipated man. Playing those games and letting your KIDS control your life? How pathetic.

    • @user-nk1mq6rf6c
      @user-nk1mq6rf6c 6 месяцев назад +2

      Same here. Daughter has her mother and father over for dinner sometimes 2 or more times a week

  • @glendagai
    @glendagai 6 месяцев назад +41

    LOL… I am 76 and dating a wonderful younger man. We were friends for 2 years before we started dating. I was settled to being alone after being divorced for 35 years. I was happy being an independent retired women, enjoying my family. I had dated other men but never changed my mine about being happily alone. Then this man and I became close and I am all in for sharing my life with someone. You have to look for someone that impacts your life.

    • @Obtlgw
      @Obtlgw 6 месяцев назад +5

      You gooooo girl. Congrats!!

    • @NDiaz-et6hc
      @NDiaz-et6hc 6 месяцев назад +7

      Wonderful! Congratulations and may your journey together be blessed.

    • @AngelYoung-ng8bu
      @AngelYoung-ng8bu Месяц назад

      I too became friends with a man 8 years my senior a year and half ago😊 I'm 64 and he's 72. We never went on a real date. I met him at his house and played fetch with my dogs there while talking. Gradually I started going over and hanging out. Soon it was dinner and then spent Thanksgiving and Christmas dinners together. I was dating another younger guy during this time as we became good friends. Lots of hours of deep conversation on the phone. He showed me he cared by his actions. I broke up with the younger guy as we never got past the physical part 😂
      On mother's day eve my friend kissed me for the first time. I say it was my last first kiss. I realized I have fallen head over heels in love with this guy. It's a relationship based on friendship and trust. It's a different deeper level of love 💘I am happier than I thought I would ever be at this age. I am a 2 times divorced and also a widow. Just goes to show that we are never too old for love. I'm happy for you sweetheart. Embrace it and every single moment you can. We are truly blessed❤❤❤

  • @Obtlgw
    @Obtlgw 6 месяцев назад +38

    Agree Jonathan …i refuse to give wife benefits at girlfriend prices ! Lol. I feel like we must be matched in our pace of the relationship and if there is a balance issue ….run forest run!!

  • @jessicaszeman6771
    @jessicaszeman6771 6 месяцев назад +23

    Yep.. was texting and calling a lot, calling me pet names, etc. We go on a date and the very next day is when he became distant.. the pet names stopped, hours would go by between texts, the phone calls stopped. I questioned what was going on, if he lost interest in me and got the "busy" response. I instinctively knew it was bullsh*t excuse but gave the benefit of doubt and gaslit myself 😏 this went on for two more weeks before he ghosted me. It was so confusing, like he got me to develop feelings then pulled the rug out from underneath me. I am disappointed but not suprised. Trust your instincts ladies.

    • @forbiddenmosaic
      @forbiddenmosaic 6 месяцев назад +1

      You never see it coming

    • @SaystheTruth3
      @SaystheTruth3 Месяц назад

      Unfortunately there's probably someone else...

  • @deec411
    @deec411 4 месяца назад +9

    I recently met a wonderful caring man and told him I wanted to take things slowly to build emotional connection before having physical relations and he agreed. We both are wanting a long term commitment. 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻

  • @LisaGemini
    @LisaGemini 6 месяцев назад +31

    As far as love after 60, the beautiful and talented Olivia Newton-John didn't meet her true love until she was 59! They got married a year later and were blissfully happy until she died at 73. Lots of people get married after 60.

    • @The_Naughty_Kitten
      @The_Naughty_Kitten 6 месяцев назад

    • @Obtlgw
      @Obtlgw 6 месяцев назад +2

      Loved Olivia!!! I’m 60 and I agree with you. I’m not giving up on love and growing old with a wonderful man would be a blessing .

    • @sherriflemming3218
      @sherriflemming3218 6 месяцев назад +4

      I'm not giving up on compatibility. That matters most of all!

    • @LisaGemini
      @LisaGemini 6 месяцев назад +3

      @@sherriflemming3218You said it, girl! Compatible lifestyles are so important. No smokers, druggies or alcoholics and no cat owners. Stick to your guns!

    • @sherriflemming3218
      @sherriflemming3218 6 месяцев назад +2

      ​@@LisaGemini You bet Lisa. I have quite a list of dealbreakers. Maintain standards. Have a very Merry Christmas 🎄❤️

  • @MM-lb9np
    @MM-lb9np 6 месяцев назад +18

    This has happened 2 me. I got attached 2 someone. He said he wasn't looking 4 a relationship. I believed him. He dumped me 4 someone else. Turns out he didn't want a relationship with me. I was a place holder. Totally broke my heart 💔

    • @sherriflemming3218
      @sherriflemming3218 6 месяцев назад +3

      He'll treat each woman the same way. You deserve better❤️🫂

    • @MM-lb9np
      @MM-lb9np 6 месяцев назад

      @@sherriflemming3218 Thank U ❤️

    • @sherriflemming3218
      @sherriflemming3218 6 месяцев назад

      @@MM-lb9np You're welcome MM. He's mediocrity.- transactional. A User- Spender. NEXT!
      Merry Christmas! 🎄🫂❤️

  • @Obtlgw
    @Obtlgw 6 месяцев назад +19

    Mine was meshed way too much with controlling adult daughters This is quite common with widowed men..the daughters become mini wives !! I was nit going to compete with that. Once he said to me “if my daughters knew I took you on this weekend getaway trip they’d kill me.” I thought to myself …huh? Should
    Have run then!!

    • @JonathonAslay
      @JonathonAslay  6 месяцев назад

      Thanks for sharing

    • @sophienguyen3768
      @sophienguyen3768 2 месяца назад +1

      Run as fast as u can. U will never be his priority.

  • @northshorelight35
    @northshorelight35 6 месяцев назад +11

    Women, at the end of the day, men who will do these things do not make good, faithful husbands anyway. Even if you get them, they're the type who gets bored in marriage and will start talking to other women even if they never leave you. Men who are serious about commitment NEVER act this way. They don't date for transaction - because they don't waste their time or yours - and they certainly don't want to be in these kind of positions.This is why it's so important to know a person's dating history and pattern.

    • @sherriflemming3218
      @sherriflemming3218 6 месяцев назад

      Exactly. Never doubt patterns. AKA The Track Record.

  • @Joshualuv13
    @Joshualuv13 6 месяцев назад +14

    This has happened repeatedly for me in the past few years. To point where I just don't hold out much hope or trust anyone .

    • @Obtlgw
      @Obtlgw 6 месяцев назад +4

      I’m sorry you’re dealing with that. I hear ya. Sometimes I say to myself “are all the quality people taken or gone .” I get discouraged Anyway, here’s some good wishes and vibes your way!!!

    • @sherriflemming3218
      @sherriflemming3218 6 месяцев назад +6

      It's raining great healed and empowered men! 🌞

    • @Joshualuv13
      @Joshualuv13 5 месяцев назад +1

      @Mk2.Sc.uv.43 Aww, thanks and same back at you! Cheers

    • @Joshualuv13
      @Joshualuv13 5 месяцев назад +1

      @sherriflemming3218 Great Mantra ! I'm going to use that ,cheers .

  • @LisaGemini
    @LisaGemini 6 месяцев назад +11

    You quoted from Zoolander! I love that movie. Yes, nobody wants to be a placeholder or a back-up plan. I once met a guy many years ago who let me know he was hoping to get back with his ex. What a creep!

  • @dargeo1406
    @dargeo1406 6 месяцев назад +9

    Yes, sounds painfully familiar. After love bombing me and even mentioning marriage, one day my toxic ex said “ I go in all hot but get tired of the same woman fast”. Soon after he told me “ I don’t know what to do with you” and disappeared without any explanation.
    It was just a red flag after red which I had ignored for months. The breadcrumbing was one of them, the obvious lack of common goal -another, but I was so blindsided by his fake niceness, I didn’t put 2 and 2 together until later. Also he started mentioning his ex and his side pieces. I was flabbergasted. Narcissist 101… Glad I escaped, but still healing especially after he had the NERVE to reconnect several times…

  • @Obtlgw
    @Obtlgw 6 месяцев назад +33

    Love to all you ladies. I think it’s awesome we are so brave being able to speak our truth and face our issues !! I wish all the best !!

  • @lanapalij4014
    @lanapalij4014 Месяц назад +2

    Yes! I’m “busy”!!! So am I…!
    Yep!

  • @user-lk1bj1sq4p
    @user-lk1bj1sq4p 6 месяцев назад +6

    I agree with you 1000%
    I had this guy tell me he wanted to take it slowly. He was still hurt from his past relationship and talked about it.
    I had NO intimacy with him. It was a red flag to me and i told him he wasn't ready for a committed relationship and then, i cut let him loose!!🎉

    • @Salvation123..
      @Salvation123.. 10 дней назад

      @user-lk1bj1sq4p I just left it with a guy I also met at Hinge.. He kept on saying the past relationship crushed him so much.. I encouraged him to get therapy. Hopefully he will truly consider that. Unless it was all a lie. Thank God it was a LDR so no see or physical connection .. Be careful out there ladies !

  • @melstiller8561
    @melstiller8561 6 месяцев назад +13

    Anyone who experiences a dire need to tell the world how hard they've worked on themselves, and how ready they are for a committed relationship, are definitely not. Perceived readiness is a one-sided love affair that dies as it touches the tip of the hand it craves.

  • @09280215
    @09280215 6 месяцев назад +9

    My date said - he wants "to take things slowly", "I'm just enjoying myself (or - my life)". He doesn't want sex either.
    We're just companions for weekend events. In our "relationship" no physical, andI don't even feel that I want him, because in the way we communicate I'm unable to build enough trust and passion.
    I even don't want to clarify anything, it's clear to me. So, once I fix a few important priorities I'll be back on a dating market :). If he wants to take me to some local events - I don't mind, but only if nothing else more interesting to do, because he's not my priority anymore once he said that key phrases. I don't afraid to speak up, I just don't see a reason - for what? I already know.

  • @LindseyObrooke
    @LindseyObrooke 8 дней назад

    I'm a 35 year old woman that watches you a lot lately. I really thought you were going to be someone I didn't need to listen to, but one of your captions caught my eye. Now I watch because you make a lot of sense and I really work to take this info in. It's rough out there. I always feel like I missed the boat, but I'm hoping I didn't. And hoping that I won't fall for any BS while I'm trying to find that boat.
    Thanks for being candid and mostly reasonable.

  • @KathleenvandenBiggelaar
    @KathleenvandenBiggelaar 7 дней назад

    Yes. Tough conversations are necessary. Open and honest is the best foundation for emotional depth.

  • @evelynbyrne9955
    @evelynbyrne9955 6 месяцев назад +7

    If you’re about to have sex for the first time and he says “I don’t want to hurt you….”. This means he’s just going to have sex and then adios.

  • @cellostrings2522
    @cellostrings2522 6 месяцев назад +7

    There’s nobody left. None.

  • @liveyourbestlifeover50
    @liveyourbestlifeover50 6 месяцев назад +8

    Interesting the situationship I was in ( I ended this morning ) it was backwards, it started strong he did put his words in to action, we were very close and aligned . Then yes after a month it started to fizzle out. He was just not ready for a full time commitment. At the beginning he did ask me to give him a chance I did, but here we are. Yes I went against my better judgement.

  • @ASultryWmn
    @ASultryWmn 2 месяца назад +3

    As women we know when things are not as they should be in our guts. Unfortunately many chose to ignore all the red flags and warning bells going off to hold on to man who really does not want them. I'm to old to go for any nonsense anymore. I just keep in my head I'm to much woman for only a piece of man. If that means I'll be by myself I'm okay with that. ROFL i'm a only child so I'm good at being with just me.

  • @auntie44m
    @auntie44m 6 месяцев назад +4

    Thank you for this video. I knew something had changed in our long distant relationship of 3 months about 2 weeks ago when he stopped flirting and the late night chats stopped. Today he sent the I’m sorry I’ve met someone local text, he may have or he might have just gotten cold feet as I was about to fly to him for our first meet up. I’m 61 he is 62, and this my first chat after more than a decade so I soaked up the attention like a sponge. Now I’ll be more wary if it happens again. Cheers

  • @patriciawood9592
    @patriciawood9592 6 месяцев назад +9

    Yep, it's resonating! Wish I was educated on this before it happened to me. Live and learn. Thank you.

  • @KathleenvandenBiggelaar
    @KathleenvandenBiggelaar 7 дней назад

    Yes. Tough conversations are necessary. One and honest is the best foundation.

  • @ASultryWmn
    @ASultryWmn 2 месяца назад +1

    Loving Jonathon's comments and advice. He cracks me up playing the big brother with shotgun asking man what are your intentions? We all need a Jonathon as our big brother.

  • @agnitagregoire8699
    @agnitagregoire8699 6 месяцев назад +5

    I am still laughing. I like how u said when u see these signs RUN!

  • @aka44441
    @aka44441 6 месяцев назад +5

    I've been in that situation. It made me feel like crap !

  • @mojosloftcloset3265
    @mojosloftcloset3265 6 месяцев назад +5

    I recently got my heart broken... a few times by the same guy. He was all in at first, but then started wavering and he became emotionally abusive because when hes in love he has thos problem where he does that. I tried but the last straw was the 3rd time he left me. He still sends presents and texts and says he loves me but i give short texts back. I dont wanna hurt him but im Crushed and i need to move on.

    • @janetgd
      @janetgd 6 месяцев назад +1

      Block. Move on. He's done it 3 times. He will do it again. And again and again.

    • @sherriflemming3218
      @sherriflemming3218 6 месяцев назад

      Agree Jan. I think you need to care about yourself Mojo as he doesn't seem to care about hurting you. His pattern of behavior will repeat. Break the cycle of control and abuse. You're worth more than this! ❤️🫂

  • @bcbodybetter
    @bcbodybetter 6 месяцев назад +2

    This not only resonates, but I did so many of these to my last fella when I was getting ready to be done. My intention when I pulled back was hoping he'd choose to move forward. When he did not. In fact, he equally pulled back. As if he was shadowing me. He Just allowed the pullback & made internal excuses until I had to rise & invite the tough conversation. He's an avoider. I just didn't realize the severity. I was alarmed at how long he allowed the pull back to last without coming forward & inviting that tough conversation himself. Finally, it became my deal breaker = thank God one of us could stand it no more. Thank you, JA, for your perspective. You help me see 🙏

  • @truemorris6695
    @truemorris6695 6 месяцев назад +5

    So, when my X boyfriend was sending a post to a his girl, friend, a bday message. He told me to back off!!! I wasted another year. Then 💔

    • @LisaGemini
      @LisaGemini 6 месяцев назад +1

      Aw, I'm sorry you waited that long. You deserve trust and respect.

  • @jenniferrivera5461
    @jenniferrivera5461 6 месяцев назад +2

    Spot on with the video...❤ ya ...."feelings are meant to be felt." My fav saying !!

  • @corinabeyer7026
    @corinabeyer7026 Месяц назад

    You give me so much clarity. You ROCK Johnathan❤

  • @user-lj7tq6pj7h
    @user-lj7tq6pj7h 6 месяцев назад +2

    Mindfulness!! Yes usually the missing piece. Thank you Jonathan

  • @Healthnut1976
    @Healthnut1976 6 месяцев назад +7

    Yes this happened to me. He broke up with me one week before 3 months. He told me he wasn't ready for a serious relationship and still in love with his ex-girlfriend, who moved on. And several days later he texts me " please just give me time to think and figure things out." WTF does that mean? I didn't ask.

    • @christinebeames712
      @christinebeames712 6 месяцев назад +1

      He means which option is best for him

    • @groove1486
      @groove1486 6 месяцев назад +2

      Keeping you on a back burner just in case he needs to squeeze you for more whatever he thinks he needs and can get from you....please do not try to get clarity from him and simply move on. He is not worthy of you.❤

    • @DebraFortMyers
      @DebraFortMyers 5 месяцев назад

      Just stop worrying + figure it out for yourself while he does. When he contacts you ask for clarification if you need to + go with your gut feelings. Can't go wrong that way. You both are individuals.
      You came together for a reason, no matter your age and how long you've know each other.
      Relationships are windows to our own and each other's soul. I am 65 and trying to reunite with a first (and only love) since I was 13 til age 30 where we separated for 30 years after a huge break up of our relationship/romance/friendship reuniting over almost 30 years later. We are finally working on becoming friends again to see if we can reunite to build a solid friendship again we both felt we had when we were young.
      Sometimes really listening and willing to drop our fears and work on the trust issues can be the ONLY way if its meant to be.
      In other words, anything can happen. The important thing is that you be honest with yourself, determine your needs and wants so you can be fair. When determining the investment.

    • @slaughterhouse8769
      @slaughterhouse8769 3 месяца назад

      8😊😊

  • @sherriflemming3218
    @sherriflemming3218 6 месяцев назад

    Always on point, Jonathon.

  • @Boldnbeautiful86
    @Boldnbeautiful86 29 дней назад

    mine used depression, anxiety and family coming into town as his excuses to not spend time with me. however, he still managed to tell me he loved me so much and missed me. he used to spend every weekend with me, then it went to maybe seeing him once a week to never knowing when I would see him again. HE wanted the relationship so soon when we first meet but when asked if he wanted to break up, take a break etc. his answer was always no.

  • @evakristiansen5719
    @evakristiansen5719 3 месяца назад +1

    Oh. Yeah I’ve been through it all. But I ended it before we came through it all!! Lots of love ♥️

  • @forbiddenmosaic
    @forbiddenmosaic 6 месяцев назад +3

    Got my heart broken back in July. Our relationship was almost exactly what you described. It ended bc I don't wear the duct tape. About 5 months in, I sat him down for a talk. My intent was to let him off easy bc I knew he was exactly the guy you describe (not ready). He insisted that wasn't the case and had zero interest in looking for anyone else. That's when I let my guard down. Then just as you described, there was less communication, he was often busy. Two weeks later, he dumped me. In hindsight, he was taking me for granted, and I gave him a pass bc he was recently divorced and still very angry and hurt over it. I was the second woman he dated since separating. You sure hit the nail on the head. Following...

  • @cynthiaabada3961
    @cynthiaabada3961 6 месяцев назад

    Terrific podcast again J😀& very glad to see you better. Cheers🎄

  • @Obtlgw
    @Obtlgw 6 месяцев назад +4

    Jonathan …yes always helpful Thanks so much. You’re appreciated !!

  • @taniagil3122
    @taniagil3122 5 месяцев назад

    This is so helpful. Thank you.

  • @user-lk1bj1sq4p
    @user-lk1bj1sq4p 6 месяцев назад +3

    This is an Excellent video Jonathon!! The topics covered are supperp❤🎉

  • @lifewithsharonb5138
    @lifewithsharonb5138 2 месяца назад

    I love your style. You exude confidence without arrogance. Love your channel. I am very glad I found you❤

  • @agasza3
    @agasza3 6 месяцев назад +8

    I was in relationship with my last boyfriend for one year. Around month 9 I felt some sensation in my stomach. It was first time and I was surprised why? But i noticed that he was bit distant, started being busy with kids, work, I noticed he didnt say „I love you” any more, and just one month before cut on sex and was constantly feeling unwell, with cold or sore troat so he couldnt really kiss me 😂

  • @DorothyPrater
    @DorothyPrater 2 месяца назад +1

    Sending Love!!

  • @Carr2409
    @Carr2409 6 месяцев назад

    This was great! I found value. Thank you, and hugs ❤!

  • @sharonbeatrez7954
    @sharonbeatrez7954 6 месяцев назад

    Discussion designated with me. Thank you

  • @KathleenvandenBiggelaar
    @KathleenvandenBiggelaar 7 дней назад

    But sometimes it’s best for both to go cautiously. My partner is adjusting from a divorce and I am healing from the death of my husband who was also loved by my partner. We are healing each other. Wherever it takes us.

  • @lori6156
    @lori6156 6 месяцев назад +1

    Because he truly is not emotionally available. Determine that right off the bat and if he’s not, run.

  • @glendamartin8424
    @glendamartin8424 6 месяцев назад +11

    Yep, today this just happened to me. I got blindsided by a man I’ve dated for six years. He texted me today saying, he has thought about our relationship is just about our amazing sex, hmmm. Dinner and dates slowly turned to, “I need a rain check”. Lately, he started coming over, bringing a bottle of wine over. I really didn’t notice he was slowly pulling away.
    All this year, he has been telling me, when he retires, at the end of this year he wants us to travel. I guess he found another travel mate. Actually, he did me a favor I can now find a real gentleman that will treat me as a lady. I learned good lesson over dating him. Don’t date a politician ! He was good a being too busy for a relationship.

    • @openeyes46
      @openeyes46 6 месяцев назад +2

      Sorry to be blunt but ,after 6 years and nothing moved to becomming serious ,you should have known it wasn't going the way you wanted to go ,you gave your power away .

    • @openeyes46
      @openeyes46 6 месяцев назад

      After listening to a lot of your video's ,i am beginging to feel you don't have a high regeard of guys ,you keep high lighting the bad pool of man ,i hope for 2024 you can highlight the sort of men that do need womens attention bwcause they are dating material , Merry Christmas to all .

    • @sherriflemming3218
      @sherriflemming3218 6 месяцев назад

      Jonathon is artistically correct.

  • @yolandagarcia-qt1le
    @yolandagarcia-qt1le Месяц назад

    Been thru that to have deeper conversations is a must if you not sure where the relationship is going! 👌

  • @MaggieCano-wu1ek
    @MaggieCano-wu1ek 6 месяцев назад +3

    We’ve been together 6 months but he does not do any of these but he did say in the beginning he wanted to take things slow but now things are moving fast!

  • @carmenabrego9399
    @carmenabrego9399 6 месяцев назад +4

    Spot on!

  • @cheryljohnson380
    @cheryljohnson380 6 месяцев назад +2

    ❤ Thanks Jonathon!!!

  • @JHW44
    @JHW44 6 месяцев назад

    This hurt to hear but I needed it.

  • @sandraannlongfield6046
    @sandraannlongfield6046 6 месяцев назад

    Hope yr Backs alot better now 🙂 Merry Christmas and Happy New Year Johnathon x

  • @elaussies
    @elaussies 3 месяца назад

    Heck yes he is doing this!

  • @rhondaricks1544
    @rhondaricks1544 6 месяцев назад +2

    Yep...ive heard them all. I generally just walk away.

  • @cathygarrick9957
    @cathygarrick9957 6 месяцев назад +1

    This totally resonates with me. I've been 'seeing' a bloke that I met online. Recently he is always busy, rarely texts me first and when he does, it's very vague. I'm besotted with him because he's playing hard to get. I definitely need to go back to therapy because I know he's going to hurt me.

  • @tamtamtindall5793
    @tamtamtindall5793 6 месяцев назад +7

    I am dealing with a situation where I was involved deeply with someone and they said they wanted to be with noone however if he did it would be with me. Soooo I am definitely hurt.

    • @JonathonAslay
      @JonathonAslay  6 месяцев назад +1

      What happened?

    • @tamtamtindall5793
      @tamtamtindall5793 6 месяцев назад +1

      @@JonathonAslay I know he's dealing with situations in his life like suddenly losing his brother 3 years ago and an addiction that he hasn't been able to get over... on top of being suicidal because of the things he's going through.

    • @Obtlgw
      @Obtlgw 6 месяцев назад +1

      Oh gosh tam..I am so sorry. Sounds like some of his issues probably would bring you down eventually though I know you cared for him deeply! Lots of love and good wishes your way.

  • @jensnooters6938
    @jensnooters6938 4 месяца назад

    I learned a lot from this video.

  • @janetadams3467
    @janetadams3467 6 месяцев назад

    Yes its resonating..you are very helpful

  • @jenmonyet9667
    @jenmonyet9667 6 месяцев назад +2

    Thank you J, hate that you are so accurate! It hurts, makes me sad to realise I was so naive, he never wanted me even though I hoped he did…he used to say, ‘ we’re okay just as we are” when I’d express where we were headed.
    2 years later, he wants to ‘catch up for a beer”, I still haven’t gotten over him.
    What do I do?

    • @christinebeames712
      @christinebeames712 6 месяцев назад +3

      He’s feeling alone , he must have been dumped and needs reassurance,

    • @groove1486
      @groove1486 6 месяцев назад +4

      I know it's not easy, especially when the heart strings have not been severed yet, BUT from my own painful experience trust me when I say that the best thing you can do for your heart and faster healing is NO CONTACT, period. Please, do not get sucked back in, he has not changed and you are gonna relive your pain and hurt all over again. That's my unsolicited advise. It is challenging, the no contact, but doable. Find the strength. You got this! I wish someone told me this seven years ago. My thoughts are with you!❤🙏

  • @tessgray603
    @tessgray603 6 месяцев назад +1

    I love it when you say bump, bump bump, bump buummm. Thank you

  • @user-eo8cc4nm1y
    @user-eo8cc4nm1y 6 месяцев назад

    Beautiful information

  • @user-xf1fz6bt8j
    @user-xf1fz6bt8j 5 месяцев назад

    Amen Jonathon 🙏❤️🌹

  • @marshaash5824
    @marshaash5824 6 месяцев назад +1

    Yep happened to me!

  • @nightbreeze6264
    @nightbreeze6264 5 месяцев назад

    Your beyond Ausome Johnathon East Coast Down Under

  • @mommagoosesgoodiesandgarde2290
    @mommagoosesgoodiesandgarde2290 6 месяцев назад +1

    Yes these have definitely happened to me

  • @maritatrinidad5107
    @maritatrinidad5107 6 месяцев назад

    I’m dating with someone over a year now, and recently he said I need to think deep about the relationship and let him know what my expectations are and what I’m looking for. Not sure he needs to know (again) after such a long time us dating. 😢

  • @elaussies
    @elaussies 3 месяца назад

    Love your channel & listen to many of your podcasts. I have been seeing a man whom I believe is a psychopath. After dating with him for a bit over a year, we went from living together to him being happy living alone. I didn’t understand why it is more difficult to leave him until I noticed the signs in this book. This has been transactional and am happy to know this term now. He has not told me he loves me and although I have done much in this relationship, he has not been mutual with what is put in. IE: I did all of the grocery shopping and cooking, also bought clothing and items for his home while I was there. He has never bought me a thing. Only bar dates. I love hearing “beloved” and want to mend my heart and move on.
    BTW- I did not need him for $$ and am a clean lady and low maintenance. He is a spender/ user.

  • @agnitagregoire8699
    @agnitagregoire8699 6 месяцев назад +1

    The man was told that she was ready for lasting relationship but she doesn't want to be just a friend. He said yes but not now. I need some years to decide. I guess this is the same as let's take it slow right!

  • @CherryLaride
    @CherryLaride 6 месяцев назад

    Yup this happened to me!

  • @elizabethkirby9463
    @elizabethkirby9463 6 месяцев назад +4

    Hey, Jonathan! Love your work. I KNOW that what I seek is seeking me. I'm composing a list of dicovery/deal breaker questions to ask on my 4 coffee dates. When should I ask what? I could probably figure this out by myself, but how about giving it to you for a future topic?

  • @sharonbeatrez7954
    @sharonbeatrez7954 6 месяцев назад +1

    Yes this has happened to me..transitioning is difficult

  • @whereisshaz
    @whereisshaz 6 месяцев назад

    Yes that happened to me too 🤷‍♀️

  • @leilacosby5304
    @leilacosby5304 6 месяцев назад +1

    Yes this happened to me!

  • @beegee5305
    @beegee5305 6 месяцев назад +1

    The problem was that years ago I didn't know what the term "transactional" relationship meant.

  • @islacox1548
    @islacox1548 3 месяца назад

    Yes, these things are all happening 😢

  • @dianneestell6554
    @dianneestell6554 5 месяцев назад +1

    Yep that has happened to me

  • @marydietterich5968
    @marydietterich5968 5 месяцев назад

    Very informative

  • @russellalfonso2962
    @russellalfonso2962 6 месяцев назад +1

    "He's Just Not Into You" is a funny romance comedy filled with red flag rejection clauses

  • @jossfangirl
    @jossfangirl 3 месяца назад

    Yep. I got the - I am so tired and stressed from work. Even to the point where he would take a phone call on speaker from his manager who told him that he would have to step up to take over extra work. When I attempted to talk to him, he immediately accused me of accusing him of seeing others. And yeah - the sex was cut way back.
    Created the tension to end it. Yep.

  • @meghanblanchard4843
    @meghanblanchard4843 6 месяцев назад

    You cracking
    me up😅

  • @EMuro-wu7uy
    @EMuro-wu7uy 6 месяцев назад +5

    I've been hearing recently that some guys want sex within the first three date or it's over. I went out with a guy, after 3rd date there was a big energy shift, he even came to my door, but there were no moves physically, but he seemed to take a big step back, quite literally did a 180 degree turn. Ghosted me for about a month, and then after regular communication he went cold, because things were too much work, but didn't make any time to go out on dates.

    • @sherriflemming3218
      @sherriflemming3218 6 месяцев назад +2

      He didn't meet your standards. That's a blessing in disguise.

  • @betterbrainhealing5970
    @betterbrainhealing5970 2 месяца назад

    Well, I think your spot on About somebody who talks about their ex a lot after you’re dating. They’re not over it. I just broke things off with a man I’ve been dating for a year and a half. In the beginning He was wonderful everything I had been missing in my marriage. He talked about his ex-girlfriend on and off that he dated for two years more than he talked about his divorce from his ex of 25 years with whom he had a child also not looking back he never took any accountability for any part of the break ups. I told him the basics for the reason behind my divorce of 25 years, but I didn’t ruminate it on it like he did about the ex-girlfriend. And mine was very difficult, evolving the death of my daughter and complex trauma, but I did a lot of healing work before I got involved where as I feel like he did not.

  • @sylviasessentials
    @sylviasessentials 6 месяцев назад +2

    I hear that the relationship with you and Tammy was transparent. Have you ever thought though that maybe Marie had a issue with this three-way triangle? I know with my last person that I was dealing with when he would pay other women attention more than me it was not a good feeling. Even though at that time I was secure with myself I felt that I deserved better. Women like to feel any connection that they are number one.❤

    • @JonathonAslay
      @JonathonAslay  6 месяцев назад +1

      Not at all. Her best friend is Bill, and we socialized together many times.

  • @agnitagregoire8699
    @agnitagregoire8699 6 месяцев назад +1

    Yes busy is a famous one. YES it has happened to me!

  • @lindahahn1823
    @lindahahn1823 3 месяца назад

    11 - Yes Not comfortable with saying “I love you “

  • @elipotter369
    @elipotter369 6 месяцев назад +1

    I've never really had a being dumped convo with anyone - i get the vibe he isn't in to me or is behaving a bit off, so i just never contact them again once i realise and mostly they don't contact me - and if they do, i hide or am busy.
    If a guy is still emotionally attached to their previous, they've told me early on and I take note.
    My problem with relationships has been guys who get emotionally abusive over time, and i don't understand what's going on until I've been hurt and stressed over a very long period of time - and then i have to quit the relationship for self preservation.
    In future, i hope not to get involved with those types and to be way more aware and savvy. I'm doing the work on myself and self awareness the best i can now.
    However, depending on my location, i may not meet that nice kind, secure guy with similar interests before my time runs out. I'm okay with being single though, i have interests and goals I'm passionate about. 😊

  • @joycenichols6856
    @joycenichols6856 5 месяцев назад

    yep happened to me