If You Like Him, Never Play It Cool (Here's Why)
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- Опубликовано: 6 сен 2024
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Dated man for 6 months, best vacation for 2 weeks Paris, 13 hr phone calls, best sex, madly in love, told him first, I loved him . Day before the holidays and my bday, he called to tell he had to cancel bc older adult sister had esophageal stage four cancer he had to take care of indefinitely….he ended relationship. That was 4 years ago, and I will never put my cards on the table again. I’m a divorcee in mid fifties, and he was 60. Still gutted over this, no closure, no answers, can’t even find out anything about him on google. He was an inauthentic snake. Probably married. That’s why we have to protect ourselves. The predators are alive and well, and they’re on the hunt.
True.
He just a corvet narcissist
I understand your pain. Been through something similar and having the same response. However really we shouldn't. We had a nice time, he was a liar and now he's gone. We shouldn't let it damage us and our future relationships.
I get it though
I'd tell him I like him, if the feelings not mutual I see the rejection as God's protection, simple...x
Yes so do I. They are not the one for you. Let them go.
Amen sister
@@vkng_drag0n982 f
Well, it takes time to know if you really want him, and notjust like him. Until that day you will likely hide your feelings to protect yourself. Then there is the possibility he is not free but will play around. So it takes time to find that out. So it’s a phase of going ahead and then pulling back.
its better out than in. a guy I liked tried to kiss me but it was an awkward lunge that went nowhere so I flew embarrassed but I later admitted I liked him, asked him out but it turned out he wasn't interested in dating or a relationship. at least I found out quick we were on different pages
When someone pretends not to be interested. It makes me lose interest in that person.
Absolutely. I have learned that most successful way to go is just be yourself, no games, no pretending and no drama.
I decided to tell this man I liked him and BELIEVE me we went from him calling me once a month (maybe) to at least 5 times a week
Be genuine You can never say they wrong thing to the right person.
This is true. But I feel like the right person won't see me😢 because of a problem I need help overcoming. I hope..one day.
@@user-yo3rw5eu2n not sure what the problem is or if this relates, but if it’s possible, put the problem right there front and center and fess up that you have it and you’re trying to overcome it. It takes the “elephant out of the room” and allows both of you to focus on other things. A lot of pple try to hide their problem, which is fine if it’s not noticeable, but when it is, it’s better to just get it out of the way instead of having this “thing” that nobody wants to talk about but is noticeable. (Sorry if I’m way off base)
Don’t be afraid to show interest! The right man will reciprocate!! Throw out the fear of rejection & just go for it!!!
Like Nike says; "Just do it.'
nice
You're tight! Just don't do it too soon....easy does it... a little at a time, kind of like how water is heated slow on a stove. Keep the temperature knob around 4, then, 5, then 6, let it rise in stages...Just don't go super nova on the guy and scare him away. Men love it that way. They need validation, too.
I have fear of rejection too
What do you say when you go on a date but don't really like the person? This is one of my fears when dating. Odds are that you will meet people not right for you before you meet the right compatible person. I feel like I don't know what to say.
Play it cool, take your time. There is no rush to mentally invest until you really get to know him. I can’t stand dating. Why can’t we all just grow the f up and act like adults.
I am a 65 year old woman.I've been "friends with benefits" for 3 1/2 years.I told my friend that I am in love with him but got no responce.I texted him last Friday and told him since he has no feelings for me that I am done.He called me Sunday,talked for over an hour,but never mentine the text.All of my friends and family days he loves me too.I just don't believe it.If after all of this time he has never told me that he loves me.I wasted all of that time trying to get him to love me.I'm too damn old to Play games.
I recently walked away from a similar situation... He doesn't care phased. I made the right decision
What dating triggers in me is not that I’m not “good enough”... it triggers the realization that high quality men in my age group are very hard to find.
Sending a hug 🤗
i see what i look for
People play it cool because they have fear of rejection....bc it's easier to not try than take a risk and fail
Oh so when a guy plays cool it looks cool and imysterious... but when a woman plays cool... she is playing games. Ladies when a confident strong man likes you you will know it!
Absolutely! Edward let me know how he felt about me after a few months of dating. We are in a full on relationship. Anything else would have bored me. We have more than a connection.
11.54 When you're vulnerable,transparent, and authentic if you're speaking from the heart you can't backfire with the right guy..so true
I tend to hold back until I “feel” some effort or energy toward me from the man I’m attracted to. That effort can be very subtle, I don’t need a grand gesture, but I need to see something before I show that I’m interested.
What you’re saying makes sense.
......and you are single.
I agree that it's best to hold back from investing time, caring and energy when the man isn't indicating much interest. It's exhausting sometimes.
Agree . Recently mis read signals about going for a coffee to learn more about a guy and he said he was not ready. It’s coffee and a chat not to have your kids. Rejection is gods protection. Thanks lord!
He could be doing the same thing = lose lose not win win
I told a guy who at first was attracted to me, that I started liking him more than a friend. He told me he wasn't looking for a relationship. I respected his honesty. Now, our texts are less and when we see eachother, I sense he is trying to avoid me. He is also young, 32, when I am 46. The thing is I would like to still be friends..but, hey, all that matters to me is that I told him, and I don't feel rejected at all. Life still needs to move on and continue being happy with yourself😊. Btw, I enjoy your videos. Thank you for being transparent with having a sense of humor🙂. Praying for your continous success and blessings 🙏
Big Mistake ‼️
Also he’s way too young for you!
No Class
I am so sick of all these games...
And people playing them 🤕
Stand in your fuck!ng truth!
That's all I want...😏
I agree and I sadly think the games will get worse.
I blame bad people and laws that cause hate, anger and divisiveness between people.
I don't know what to do.
Gratitude don’t work with bad guys or narcissistic
WOW, I remember ,back in my college days, I asked a college friend out on dates twice in NY. I liked him and I gathered the courage to ask him out, and guess what,?! We both enjoyed,equally our dates out! In fact at the end of our second date he asked if he could kiss me and asked me out on a date!😊😊❤❤❤❤. It's worth the effort asking a guy out!!!
If most men were conversational like you .. WOW..what a big successful difference relationships would be! I sure wish there had been a father or big brother like you in my life..
I had 3rd grade teacher, who stole my library books, lie in front of my parents at a parent/teacher conference: Principal got involved, and found the library books in teachers draw...!!
When I was 5 years old, my teacher pulled me up in front of the class and said I couldnt count in front of them..just because I wasnt moving the counting blocks I was using aside as I counted them. From that day on I hated math, and felt like I was stupid. Teachers can be cruel to young kids
We're fucked up for one thing, all the Disney fairy tales that were burned in our brains at a very young age 😥🙂
Funny and True!
Thank you for helping me to understand my late husband!!👍
I'M 81 AND FOLLOW YOU!!! YOU ARE OUTSTANDING!
Hi Jonathan, my husband died November 2018 From Alzheimer’s. I have found dating extremely difficult. I recently purchased your book “what the heck is self-love anyways”. I have found it very helpful. When he died I didn’t even know who my identity was anymore. I had been a daughter, wife, mother, divorced twice, remarried, for 28 years to a man that was abusive and then had Alzheimer’s. I became a caregiver and then he’s gone. Who am I? What am I to do with the rest of my life? So I start date. Big mistake? Or was it? I have learned a lot. Jonathan thank you so much for your candor, your honesty. I’m just sitting here crying listening to this tonight. Because I have been dating people that are exactly what you were talking about. And then recognized that I really needed to work on myself. To attract the right person. I have a bad habit of attracting the wrong man. I really want it to stop. In the process I know I have also pushed away some good men along this journey. Now recognizing that it probably wasn’t them it was me whatever it is going on inside of me.. I live in Michigan I love the water thank God for the lakes. I go there and I read your book on my cell phone. Self discovery taking my time to know all the trauma that has gone on in my life from sexual abuse as a child to the physical emotional abuse from marriages. That had led me to where I am right now. My birthday is on Monday I’m going to be 62 years old and thanks to you I don’t feel so lost anymore. I know that there is hope for so many of us. And there is so much pain not just within myself but with many of the men that I have dated. From their own traumas. I know that it is a matter of time I will get through this. Thank you again for your honesty when it comes to all of this. I always knew the game playing was a bunch of shit. I’ve added you to my prayers that you will continue to receive the insight that we all need at this time in our lives. This is also why I purchased the book 8 dates. Thank you.
I had to comment cuz I’m from Michigan too (but moved away a few years ago). I miss the beauty of Michigan! I hope your journey of working on yourself is going well. Your post resonated with me. I too have been trying to navigate dating after being in an abusive marriage for 23 yrs, now in my mid 50’s and I realized that I also attract (or maybe am attracted to?) the wrong kinds of men. I think I’ve become somewhat avoidant myself because of trying to protect myself. I hope your healing is going well. Sending a big Michigan hug your way!
@@michigan1085 hi there thank you for your kind words. It has been two years that I have been working on myself and it is going wonderfully. Now being the 64 year old. I can say that I do love myself. I have been taking good care of myself. And, I am no longer avoiding relationships. And have recently gotten out of the anxious mode. It’s amazing the different qualities that we acquire from life. That we have to overcome. I continue to work on myself on a daily basis. I don’t use the dating apps. I tried that once, and realized it was not for me. At this point, I have put out my intentions, and I know that as I am becoming the person I want to be and I will attract the right situation into my life. I hope that things are going well for you. And today it is snowing in Michigan. But I am getting my home ready as I plan on moving out of state. Where am I going? That is still the question to be answered. But I know the doors of opportunity will open up for me and I know that I am being directed and I am listening. Hugs to you.
You are worthy and intelligent... don't lean in too soon to a man lean back until u see his actions for a few months, unless he shows his stupid jerk moves within 1st meeting..
@@jeanlives6032 hi, thank you. I am not the same person i was two years ago. I have grown quite a bit done a lot of changing. It’s amazing when you do a lot of work on yourself what can happen. I love who I am I set boundaries my fear is gone. I don’t mind being alone. And at the same time I am looking forward to a very healthy relationship. Thank you. I hope all is well with you.
I completely believe that when a woman has sex, it completely clouds her judgment... She starts making excuses for his bad behavior, hence protecting her fantasy.
You hit the nail on the head...rejection....he's afraid of it and so am I....so,what now??????
Agreed.
You need to be brave. That’s what the saying, it’s better to have loved and lost then to have never loved at all.
Jonathon, you are so refreshing. Love ur open-mindedness. Treat people like people, I say.
Yes Im seeking for a committed relationship. Thank you for your counseling Ive leant a lot.Never play cool while the guy is standing standing in front me.The thing is im scared of rejection.
I love how FIRED UP YOU GET. 🦁🦁🦁🔥🔥🔥
Thanks
Congrats on hitting 50000 subscribers.. you deserve it Jonathon 🎉🎊🎉👏👏👏
I'm a 73 yr young woman that follows you and find you fascinating. Your presentations are so sensible and honest. The kind of advice I like and agree with... I'm trying to slowly reel in an ex (circumstantial) of mine, he is 60 yrs young. We dated in the late 80s. We reconnected 16 months ago. I also believe in the lean-in philosophy.
I'm open and honest and totally transparent, old school. Our chemistry is astounding. I hope things come to fruition for us. We're in a long distance relationship currently. I am willing to move. Just waiting for things to mellow out on his side after Covid knocked him and his business sideways.
Keep on keeping on and teaching us the basic rules of successful relationships and thank you.👌
😢😂
I love you Jonathan, specially when you are beating the hell out of us women in our stupid ways. 😂 I am learning a lot from you. I love it when you get so passionate with the topics you are trying to impart. You are saving a lot of women from a heart ache. Keep up the good work! Thank you for all that you do. God bless🙏❤️🤗
WOW, thank you. May I ask, what inspired you to follow my channel?
@@JonathonAslay … I, myself is looking for an answer on how to connect effectively with a potential date/partner. I am 66 years old and has been trying to find someone that I could grow old with. In short to find my last love. I have been divorced now for 7 years from a 32 years of marriage due to infidelity and I find it hard to trust again. Men’s behavior in the dating world nowadays does not help either with probably no fault of their own as they are wounded as well. I find your concept of dating very real. And I am inspired in how you tried to protect women from heartache by navigating the dating world by knowing your goals, setting boundaries from the get go, and communicating effectively with your potential dates and not to forget to heal yourself from your trauma. All of these I learned from YOU! Thank you very much!!! … i wish I could afford your one on one coaching. God bless you Jonathan! Keep up the good work! 🙏🤗❤️
Hi there Jonathon, from Cairns, Australia. I'm in this predicament, I don't want to be reserved or play it cool. I need to talk to this guy, because I am being reserved to the point of making sure I don't touch him, when I see him.
I do love this guy, he's a good one, and he is in my life for the long haul. Platinum platonic😂
How can I help you?
A lady dated a guy for 2 years. So a sexual relationship might have lasted for more than 1 year. The man said he wasn’t in love with the woman after dating 2 years. So what should that woman do? If I were that woman, I would move on. Don’t beg for love. What The Heck Is Self Love!
I think the rules and the feminine/masculine rhetoric have indeed f-d me up. I'm applying the things I'm learning from you and I am already seeing results. Years ago I didn't resonate with you cuz I wasn't there yet emotionally and mentally, but now I think you are a gem of a teacher. Thank you for going against the grain!
I am so sorry you had a teacher like that. She obviously hated herself, and her life, but it is no excuse for her to have done that to you.
After a divorce, dating, & canceling 2 engagements, I’ve been taking a hiatus over two-year hiatus to work through my issues & own my mistakes - letting go of the pain, soul searching, loving myself & being grateful for life & choosing JOY!! 🥰 thank you for all you do!
Sorry i repeated myself it’s early here in PA!! Lol
@@meeperbird thank you I know it must be a compliment I’m sorry I don’t know anything about Astrology! All I know is I was born in August so I’m a Virgo! 😂
@@meeperbird looked up the meaning ..thanks so much! 🥰
I was asking God for help in a situation I am experiencing in my life - this was a gift from heaven Jonathon - thank you!!!!!♥️♥️♥️🔥🔥🔥👏👏👏
Thank you so much for the positive recognition that most men ( and most women) are good. It’s sad that this is not widely understood.
I had trauma as a child. Never experienced fathers love. Now am attached style. Love your show.
Ohmygosh! Radical honesty is exactly what I want! Being honest with guys has definitely weeded out the ones that are not for me
Which end up being all of them.
@@catherinearrington6167 lol ikr
@@catherinearrington6167 🤣🤣🤣
I’m SO glad I found you !
I’m 67 and have hit brick wall after brick wall in my relationships. You have completely changed my POV on developing partnerships
You’re right….. if they’re going to run, let ‘em do it early on.
Love ya❤
I never end up with a question bc you always answer them in your videos! 🎉
11:48. Jonathan, “backfire” doesn’t mean the man responds negatively during the conversation. It means he starts playing games, taking you for granted because he gets an inflated ego and thinks he can walk all over you.
He was broken and bitter and he held it in well...from being a young father at 18, to a having a stepfather who ignored him...he was brilliant and had a very high IQ...he was gifted at getting in your psyche...the bad part for me was I thought I could fix him because I fixed me...little did I know broken folks have to do the work before you can assist them...I learned that I love myself and that at a senior age I still love and want to be love and now I know I will be loved again
Fear of regret > Fear of rejection
Really love your arguments about the concept of chasing and leaning back. Its excellent!!! And i love your passion … who cares if you yell/scream and spit while you talk .. that’s who you are and thats your brand. I love your work and you as a person! You are very authentic!
Thank you for sharing what the RIGHT man does. I took notes and its on my desktop.
Telling it like it is especially acknowledging your own vulnerabilities
I already posted about this, but I said the words "You're cool, I like you." But I was rejected and rebuffed and told they were only interested in my sexuality. (It's legion, and I had no idea how strong it was until recently.) But I survive !! And you can too. Now, the guy is just a speck in my rearview mirror.
Said those words too to a guy and was rejected and initially shocked but am good and his loss!! Keep going sister with your authentic and honest self. 👍👍
Oh my gosh, that teacher story! When I was in the 7th grade, the nun who taught the class had us list what we liked and what we didn't like about our fellow students. A popular, pretty girl in the class wrote that she didn't like me because I was "homely". The nun read her comment out loud to illustrate that this was not a nice thing to say. You can't make this stuff up. Always excellent information, Jonathon, thank you.
Yes. We all have nun scars. Some waaay more than others. The stuff we saw! And it wasn't only the nuns!
@@gmoni2456 Oh the stories!
@@taffyj531 When I tell them now, people can't believe them except for my friends who were there, too! 🙄
Nun scars... getting belted with a ruler over the knuckles as I played the piano badly- and was crying; because Mum wanted me to learn. I still can't listen to piano music.
So I went to public school and my 5th grade teacher regularly bullied me. I was late with an assignment, and she grabbed my paper out of my hand, crumpled it up, and stuffed it into my jumper, between my jumper and my turtleneck. Another time she mocked me in front of my classmates again by asking me which was my right hand and I raised the wrong one. I am intelligent, but have right-left confusion, learning disability in math and probably mildly autistic. Then it was okay, today she would probably be fired if found out. 12:03
OMG he so right. The character of our interaction is so superficial until something or someone makes it personal
I dated a wounded man and addressed it to him and he was surprised but eventually excepted it yet I pulled away and thought it was best not to continue dating him and he moved on to a new relationship that ended up failing
Start the day giving yourself a hi five on the morning every day
I told my prospective husband that I found him wildly attractive. And wow, did he respond!
As a natural blonde, blue eyed, fair skinned female. I’ve been told I am stupid. Even though I’m not at all. My HS Algebra said in front of the entire class that I was not allowed to ask questions. If I raised my hand, he would say, I told you she’s stupid. She keeps trying to ask questions. Happened in college Speech 1 class. He announced he wouldn’t respond to any blonde questions. English 1A class the teacher said all females are stupid. Said he never gave a A to any female. My response was to, We’ll see who is stupid!” I got an A in everyone of the classes, but no recognition These people are bullies. They don’t belong in the classroom. Yes, each one of these teachers hurt me. If I hear blonde jokes, I instantly write the person off. I don’t accept this type of behavior. Yes, I have been wounded.
Jonathan I asked your question and to a guy I liked and he rejected me. I move on and his loss !
I did let a guy know that I liked him...I just dont think he was interested in me. Even though before we would flirt, cat and mouse type thing. Anyway, we still speak, we are neighbors, but made it clear I did not want any awkwardness between us ever. I think we are still friends. Continued respect I believe.
Tension and mystery creates lust vulnerability creates closeness
Ghosting you've known personally for around 10 years it's intentional and no wounding can justify that.
there's one man in particular that I have loved for so long that did that to me twice! I know I'm foolish, but I just don't understand it. He spoke so positively, even talked about my meeting his family. Then all of a sudden zip, nothing. I was so angry with myself. But at least I told him off.😢
I’m traumatized by what that teacher did to you, and I’m an adult already. CANT even imagine. Even if it would have been true that was not the way to handle that.
one time we were making daffodils i was sooo happy i absolutely loved the look of the daffodils my teacher with the big nose who failed me knew i was happy and really thrilled to make them she came in my group and said no Anna you have to stop you dont know what your doing stop now!!!!! i was getting ahead and almost finished my flower when she told me to stop and look at everyone else as they worked on their daffodil it was horrible i was just about done mine was fast and quick and almost had mine complete when the looser teacher tells me to stop. She was so angry with me that she kept me in for lunch looking at an unfinished daffodil. i could not eat my lunch too. All the kids were done their daffodils and she put them up on the wall and were happy to play out side but not me i had to stay inside for the 45 min and no lunch looking at an unfinished daffodil the whole time and i could not finish it. It was wicked of her to do that to me i was only in grade 1 my goodness why did she hate me soooo much how could any teacher treat a little girl that way and think it was ok. We moved away to a way better school after my loving dad found out she failed me and it was truly a blessing. I was in a music band and all sports and our school plays were a big hit. I absolutely loved the new school i had high grades and many many friends. I thank God for listening to my prayers.
I read many “rules” books! Yet the most compatible, mutual connection, lots of fun & memorable times.. It wouldn’t of happened because I called him first! Not sure why I don’t do this more
Absolutely! I truly believe that we surly meet people for a reason. Yes, we are all "wounded" ..what we do, how we think is sometimes based on what we've been through, childhood beliefs, trauma..or life itself. Oh, definitely...how we've been brought up.. leaves a scar..thank you Jonathan, I can relate...💕...Wish i knew all this when I was younger... guess never too late to learn!
I had CPTSD after a narcissistic relationship, and it's one the worst things you can ever imagine going through. The scary part is that there are way more narcissists in the world than what people realize because most people that have it are never diagnosed with it because they don't feel they are the problem.... you are! I grew up in a small town in Ohio, and it is very scary to know how many of my friends have been in the same types of relationships with these monsters. It doesn't discriminate amongst the sexes or where you live either.😢
Hurt people,hurt people!!!
my wicked teacher in grade 1 had a really big pointed big noise just like the witch on the wizard of oz. She pointed her finger at me and her fricken nose in my face. What the hell lol lol i have to laugh now but my goodness!! She failed me... what the hell the reason she told my dad was that Anna is too shy. She intimidated me and harassed me all year round and then failed me. But i was moved far away to a way better school. The good Lord answered my prayers i promised!!!!!
Just communicate. I'm doing that. and I've found the man if my dreams, at 64!
I’ve just recently discovered you, so I’m binge-watching to catch up. I’m not stalking you I promise. LOL. I will try to comment on each video. Your material is great, and I’m getting a lot out of it. Thank you.
Great rant! I’m authentic and if he doesn’t accept me NEXT!
I tell a guy I like him when I like him. . . I don't mess around and make him guess like men do.😒
Love this comment ❤ I used to hide how I felt until I realized that I am better off by being honest and open
Totally agree but some guys can’t take a honest straight talking woman. Their loss!!
Hi Jonathon, I'm new here, watching with interest as an 80+ year-old! Do you think that the very idea of a "date" puts immediate pressure on both sides? Remove that notion and just have fun as friends with NO expectations for later seems to me to be a better way of getting to know someone. Or maybe I'm just old...!
I'd agree with you! I think you are onto something.
Your discussion on wounded men made a lot of sense . Although dating them is not easy , it can be worth it if they are willing to try and realize they are loved by someone who wants to invest and love them .
Thanks for this. I dislike the push pull manipulation.
My father divorced my "stay-at-home" mother in 1971, and kicked her to the curb, knowing she had no money. I never saw her again and I was 12. I was raised by my egotistical, businessman father. I also had an abusive stepmother. So, I grew up learning how to be more like a man(in that, had to hold in my emotions). I easily learned how to handle my emotions.
I'm confident enough to get by but it's terrifying to think I have to go through rejection again whilst dating AND expend the energy needed to not take it personally and get back in the saddle.
Honestly don’t know what I would do without Jonathans advice 💜
Oh wow
sometimes man says he’s casually dating but can’t he fall in love later with you? if you moved on, you would never know, especially if you like him
You're way to young to have grown up in the 60's. It was an incredible time to need to heal from..thanks for your authentic transparencies. Your balanced approached is healing to help us all realize the 'other' is not the enemy we need to do our own WORK. Compassion and forgiveness of self and others is an every day exercise..
Oh My Goodness…
I have a Similar “9” Story.
In 3rd Grade, I got 3 1st 🥇 Place Ribbons for some Field Competitions. I went from ELATION to DEVASTATION in a FLASH.
Nobody was Happy for Me.
That left a HUGE Imprint on my PSYCHE.
I like ur Style. It all RESONATES!!!! 🙏🏼
🦋💜🌈✨🌺🙏🏼🌺✨🌈💜🦋
Omg…..I love you ❤️ Thank YOU for being so authentic and real! So refreshing!!
I would love to be open and honest and authentic with guys, but they like that at first and then get scared off or want another challenge. We are all insecure and wounded, but women take the brunt and end up getting burned and abandoned after opening up. I wish it was different, but honestly most men can't deal with imtimate relationships and women do all the work. Men need to grow the f*ck up first! I've watched this happen for 35 years. I appreciate your videos!
I hear you on that one!
I know this is an old video, and an old comment, but I just can't leave this one alone. When you "open up" is it like a switch got flipped? Where suddenly you're revealing all kinds of intimate details about who you are, your hopes, your dreams, etc.? If so, keep in mind that, unless the guy is at the exact same point where they want to open up to you that deeply too, opening up that deeply, that suddenly, will trigger the fight-or-flight response in most guys. Why? Because being willing to "open up" is a huge amount of non verbal communication about where your head is at with that relationship. And with relationships, most guys will flee, rather than fight through their uncomfortable feelings.
Instead, try opening up a little at a time. Give them a teaser about what you'd be willing to open up about, or even a top level detail about *one* thing. Then give them some time without pressure to respond, to process their feelings about that. If they weren't at that place too, they may need some time to do some soul searching to decide how deeply they want to go with the relationship before they're ready for that level of intimacy. Of course, they may decide they just don't want that deep of a relationship with you. Sorry if that's what happens, but at least you didn't scare them off, it's just that they were never going to be there anyway.
Just a thought.
yes. do not drop bunch of intimate details all at once.
I would think what the f..k if a guy dropped a bunch on me.
time to go.
Than you so much for this today. So many times we discount people without recognizing that people are wounded.
Jonathan Thanks for BEING A MAN THAT SPEAKS FROM THE HEART
wow...thank you, thank you, thank you. So happy I found your channel. Been in 3 long term relationships and never gave myself a chance to LOVE ME. 8 months ago, I ended an 8 yr relationship/engagement and while living together I learned so much about myself and I thank him for everything he taught me. Super excited and happily working on healing me❤
"wow, you are cool I like you" sweet thing to say.. I'll try that tomorrow...😊
Do you always have to hide behind things
I’m gonna try that with the next guy I date (the “I think you’re cool, I like you. It would be fun to get to know you better”) because I usually date guys who play it cool, then I play it cool, then we both get triggered lol and build our walls even higher. At that point I usually bail even when I really like the guy (because I worry that he’s about to bail 🤦🏼♀️), but who knows what can happen if I lean in? Thanks Jonathon ❤️
Edited cuz I spelled your name wrong 😂😂
This sounds like me as well. Being more conscious of the pattern and intensional with the words and actions may help. Let’s see if it works ! Best wishes to you!
wow u described it well
@@GoddessGinaMichelle-fy4li I like that... "being more conscious about the pattern." Best wishes to you too!
Fellow subscribers here. When you find a guy, tell him you are following Jonathan and invite him to watch Jonathan. It is faster than reading a book together. If I have a date, I would tell him that I am following a vlogger who teaches dating. I would suggest that he may watch Jonathan.
Love that
I asked my ex to do the love language quiz so we could be aware of our needs. He refused and I realised he ticked all of the behaviours that went against my love language (words of affirmation). I had been consciously trying to adapt to his love language but he showed no effort. That’s when I knew it was over.
Wow, i love the principles or the reasons of your advice in dating that we are all human and have anxiety about who we are and if we are likable bec most of us has trauma in life and we are afraid to be rejected again or fail again. I agree w/ u leaning back is playing games, its a power play. If we want to find a true relationship we have to be vulnerable and be truthful of our feelings. Yes, leaning back has its own place in dating but not to practice just for a guy or a woman to chase each other. Thanks for the clarity of these issues.
I am so sorry you and all of us have been hurt by our parents and others. I love you all. Continue doing your best. Love
Exactly! Just because a man isn’t a planner doesn’t mean he doesn’t care!! Take the lead where needed in those situations!!!
So when he has me take the role of getting ahold of him to hang out this is normal? It's such a weird thing to me but he's Def scared of getting rejected and been through alot of damaging things in his life.
Never say NEVER! TAKE IT SLOW, SO TAKE IT SLOW. COOL IT. COOL IT
LEARN TO KEEPING HER Self esteem, self- CARE. SELF-RESPECT, SAFETY.
SOME GUYS ARE PLAYERS. DANGEROUS.
IT IS HEALTHY TO BE COOL, CALM, SENSIBLE, REASONING KEEP SAFE GIRLS. KEEP YOUR SELF SAFE FROM BEING DUPED, CHEATED, etc.
Safety first. No physical coziness.
Ive bought all the books youve recommended so I dont string people along and I love myself to prepare for my guy
I'm not going to be made a foul of again it hurts too much so I'm never going to let them
I love listening to you, Jonathon! You are a true teacher!! Love you, friend!! Keep doing what you're doing!
Wounded men need true, loving care.
@@Laura-ge9hh sometimes they need a little tough love as well.
I am all about authenticity! My impression about American culture that authenticity is not appreciated here. Aren't men just as guilty in playing this "being cool" game to make women chase them (if not more)?
Response HEALTHY, HONESTY, PROPER LEVEL, SELF-CARE, SELF-Respect is HAPPINESS INNER PERSON SACRED ESTEEM
WHOLE PERSON STABILITY HEALTH". 👍👍👍👍👍👍👍🗝️⚖️🗝️⚖️⚖️
Love you when you rant. you are very clear with your lessons.
I appreciate that!
Thank you, thank you, thank you! Oh my gosh, finally, the truth about being a Human being!
Man keeping it cool --> maximum 3 times encounter. More than that, it’s frustrating. After 5 times encounter of keeping it cool -> thank you, next!
What are you seeking in a relationship? Are you seeking commitment? What does commitment look like for you?
You tell him you like him and he withdraws
Even more. He pulls away if you try to hold his hand.
We have been together for 3 yrs and he is still uncomfortable with expressing himself sent him a few of your video's and he thinks they are stupid