5 Subtle Signs He'll Never Commit (Even If He Loves You)

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  • Опубликовано: 26 окт 2024

Комментарии • 589

  • @JonathonAslay
    @JonathonAslay  3 года назад +25

    FREE Discovery Call with Jonathon► jonathonaslay.com/coaching

    • @didingamigo2760
      @didingamigo2760 3 года назад +1

      Hey hello 👋 Jonathan asley

    • @elskar1
      @elskar1 3 года назад

      Hi Johnathon, I need a lot of phone calls with my situation

    • @sterling1386
      @sterling1386 3 года назад

      I lost my son as well. It's the 'great sadness'. I understand the attachment styles. Plz read my comments from 2 days ago. You're a Leo? Gotta love Leos. I'm a triple fire sign, female, boomer, ex astrologer/artist/vegas cocktail server/bartender. College educated. I drop the F bomb too. ;) plz don't be offended, but I've been checking you out to see if I'd be attracted to you. How impetuous of me, haha..I know, right?

    • @cherylweis1819
      @cherylweis1819 3 года назад +1

      After 4 years i have as of yesterday found out he is on Facebook and women are accepting to his. Friendship. Wow. Devastated also fed up and so want to end his ommisions and. Deciept. Seriously. I have been. So open. To the point of agh. Exhausted. Us. Tks.

    • @kimogrady4386
      @kimogrady4386 2 года назад

      John would you call Australia This dating online stuff confuses the hell out of me

  • @leahhoover3546
    @leahhoover3546 3 года назад +332

    1. His professional life is in chaos
    2. He either has a contentious relationship with an ex or maybe he’s still secretly in love with ex partners.
    3. He’s always busy with his family and/or friends
    4. Minimal effort in comparison to your effort
    5. He doesn’t have a plan

    • @JonathonAslay
      @JonathonAslay  3 года назад +4

      👍

    • @Reshme77
      @Reshme77 3 года назад +1

      Right

    • @mgsol3316
      @mgsol3316 3 года назад +4

      Thank you!

    • @dianneciresi6324
      @dianneciresi6324 3 года назад +8

      What example would be " a plan"? U mean like to get married again?

    • @dianneciresi6324
      @dianneciresi6324 3 года назад +8

      @@sirennem.6890 What if they had a cheating or abusive spouse & they had to walk away? But then u have to look at why that person cheated, if they did. If it was abusive, then that's the right thing to do to leave. Do u think it was because the other partner or spouse was accountable in some way who didn't meet their needs or some behavior of theirs was unacceptable or out of balance as one of many reasons why they cheated if they felt neglected in some way? There's a reason why they became an ex..u have to know the exact details of both sides. No one is perfect. We all have some kind of childhood wounds & adult trauma unless u were brought up in a loving & secure household with ur parents. Far & few were that way.

  • @denisecortez3563
    @denisecortez3563 2 года назад +176

    at age 30 I gave up on finding Mr. right. I just forgot about it and went on with my life. I worked out at a gym regularly and this is where I met my Mr. right. I thought because he was 10 yrs younger than me that this would just be a Spring fling. now here were are still happily married for 33 years. Ladies don't give up, he does exist! good luck!

    • @ohdear2275
      @ohdear2275 Год назад +10

      True, and I'm happy for you. When I gave up entirely and focused on self development, family, and work only, along came Mr Right.

    • @carolannogle8785
      @carolannogle8785 Год назад +8

      I like how you emphasize that we do not have time to mess around Knowing what you want and being ready to invest
      your heart in building a healthy relationship is a great mindset.

    • @onset5610
      @onset5610 Год назад +3

      I'm holding on thank you 💕 Your story has given me hope x

    • @lucybrigman5308
      @lucybrigman5308 Год назад +2

      why are you in this site? this is mainly for people that are looking

    • @ohdear2275
      @ohdear2275 Год назад +3

      @@lucybrigman5308 True. But we all need the common sense advice and can help others by sharing. We're all learning every day of our lives. Jonathon gives bon mots of advice that can help us to not make false steps and remember to nurture the relationships we have.
      The OP to whom you may have been replying has a successful long term relationship already.
      Mine is BRAND new and I might not have it if not for this channel.

  • @gabrielamartiniuc6322
    @gabrielamartiniuc6322 3 года назад +29

    I stopped dating and meeting men for dinner , coffee, etc. I got TIRED of hearing men BRAG and talk and blab. Huge turnoff. I am interested In a humble man that doesn’t talk much but DOES much.

    • @-Clarence-
      @-Clarence- 6 месяцев назад +1

      That man requires you to make the moves 😂

  • @pattylyons9645
    @pattylyons9645 11 месяцев назад +8

    Even if his professional life isn't in chaos, if he's a workaholic, that shows that it's more of a priority than having a relationship.

  • @annikakhano6018
    @annikakhano6018 3 года назад +228

    Positive story to share: My grandmother's first husband (my mom's dad) passed away when my mom was 16. At around 60 she got married again - to my grandfather (I even remember the wedding). My grandfather passed a way at the age for 90. And my grandmother 1 year later found a new "boyfriend". And they truely love eachother. They also talk about their deceased spouses with much love. They managed to love their deceased partners and still move on and really love the new partner!

    • @viviennev-thesassyone4248
      @viviennev-thesassyone4248 3 года назад +14

      Beautiful story- makes my heart sing🥰

    • @JonathonAslay
      @JonathonAslay  3 года назад +5

      🙏

    • @dianneciresi6324
      @dianneciresi6324 3 года назад +13

      Nice to know we can have it at whatever older age we are if it's meant to be & then for some it may never occur cause of what destiny or the Universe has in store for us whether it's meant for us to either be alone or with someone who is right for us..

    • @categrellas7490
      @categrellas7490 3 года назад +4

      Lovely encouraging story!

    • @tlc8925
      @tlc8925 3 года назад +7

      Thank you for sharing this because I've recently adopted the idea that I would never ever deal with a widower again... But maybe it is possible with a very special one.

  • @cindys2995
    @cindys2995 3 года назад +77

    For me, I've seen:
    He doesn't MOVE the relationship FORWARD
    He pulls back when it looks like it's going somewhere (rollercoaster)

  • @LS-xc3cm
    @LS-xc3cm Год назад +28

    Regarding dating in your older years . . .
    Marriage was just a "piece of paper" until he was diagnosed with an incurable illness. Then he proposed, not once but twice. I said NO both times. I told him if he had proposed sooner, BEFORE his diagnosis, I would have married him for better or for worse. But now that he's ill, I am LEAVING our 5-year relationship. Some men want marriage because they want a "nurse" or a "purse." So ladies beware when you are dating in later life!

    • @susanarsoniadou
      @susanarsoniadou Год назад +6

      You did the right thing.

    • @clareb8015
      @clareb8015 Год назад +3

      Good for you.

    • @lauraslocumb257
      @lauraslocumb257 Год назад +5

      I ended up taking care of my seriously ill husband for eight years of our 16 year marriage. I am a retired nurse. He passed away last year. I don’t think I ever want a serious relationship with a man again. My first husband was a narcissistic control freak who married me at a young age & then cheated on me right after I had our child. I divorced him three years later.

    • @gaildelucia8818
      @gaildelucia8818 11 месяцев назад +2

      I was with Fred for nearly four years. He was not the healthiest and overweight. He was 67 and I'm 65) I found myself expending exponentially more energy than he trying to get him healed enough so we could have a healthier relationship. I thought things were looking up when he lost some weight and had his hip replacement surgery. One year ago it was looking up. But as soon as he went back to work (60 mile a day commute for somewhat low pay), he got covid (again) in October 2022. Pneumonia Dec 2022. And then HE DIED(!!) at Easter 2023!!
      I had been on the fence about the relationship because while he insisted that he was in love with me, his actions didn't match his words. Sure, he took me out to eat a couple times a week. I cooked for him a couple times a week. But the relationship never progressed. When I finally confronted him on it, I said " So Fred, what's your plan for this relationship?" His words were "I actually have no idea, but I think about it all the time." The first two years once in awhile I would ask him if we were still OK and if he considered our relationship to be progressing. He always said yes. But I just wasn't feeling that from him. Don't get me wrong, he was a great guy with tons of talent (musical, mechanical, technological) and I NEED an intellectual challenge in a relationship so I was reluctant to break up. But truth be told, we had an upcoming vacation and for me that was going to be the 'sh-t or get off the pot discussion, but he died 3 weeks before the vacation! I miss him terribly even though I know that we would probably never have gotten married. I've been watching Jonathan ever since . I've learned a lot. BUT I also tried to have all of the brutally honest discussions about where our relationship was going along the way, but was always asked 'Why are you trying to pick a fight?' UGH! It's been the hardest thing ...to grieve not even knowing where you stood or how it would have ended. BUT I will listen to my gut next time and leave much earlier if I'm feeling alone in the relationship. Very tough to find love in your 60's. Gail in CT.

    • @gaildelucia8818
      @gaildelucia8818 11 месяцев назад

      Let me add one more thing....I'm 5'2' blue, blond and weigh 134, but I feel that I am invisible to decent men. I KNOW! 'We're swimming in a sea of dysfuntionality." Am I doomed??

  • @nicolaphoenix9784
    @nicolaphoenix9784 2 года назад +14

    I'm 70 & I'm exceedingly hopeful

  • @susanparkes5096
    @susanparkes5096 2 года назад +9

    Dating is exhausting because it is so extremely rare to meet anyone who actually turns out to be worth the effort. So many, after a few weeks or months, turn out to be a complete waste of time for all sorts of reasons. I'm in my sixties and every man (including my ex husband of 36 years) has turned out to be a complete waste of time - and I'm running out of time to waste. Dating is getting me nowhere fast, and that's what makes it so exhausting and depressing. I've all but given up and resigned myself to being alone for my last years.

  • @lindawhitener3464
    @lindawhitener3464 3 года назад +52

    Absolutely possible to find life again! I have, after my husband passed 5 years ago, I am in love again, and getting close to marriage again. It is great, especially with a widower as well. We are both on the same page. Wishing you all well! ❤️

  • @codzy3532
    @codzy3532 Год назад +9

    im 60 a woman was single for nearly 30 yrs had bfs but they didnt stick around 2019 was 56 unbeknownst to me met my soulmate hes 8 yrs older than me we were friends for 3 months before we moved in together we just hit it off still together this yr in sept will be 4 yrs we,v been together wasnt counting the days or months we are peas in a pod we are older and ive never felt so comftable happy relaxed in all my life we have our ups an downs but still together i was the cinderella of my toxic family and treated terrible til i met my babe he defends me treats me like a princess too i feel feminine too so ladies an gents dont think love has passed you by it hasnt if i found love at 56 you all can too i hope everyone world wide finds a love like me God bless you all 😊☺💖❤🙏👵👴💐🌹🥀

  • @colleenrainbowblack8762
    @colleenrainbowblack8762 3 года назад +27

    Jonathan is so correct on saying that loving men more doesn't mean men are going to give you more love. So, so, so, correct!!!!

  • @flowerchild3312
    @flowerchild3312 3 года назад +22

    " Damn Straight Johnathon "! Ain't nobody got time for that!!! We are to old for childish games, better off cuddling with your fur babies unconditional love❤

  • @PortOrangeMom
    @PortOrangeMom Год назад +11

    My former fiancé constantly saw his ex. They worked together, ate lunch together, she watched his dog when he visited me, tailored his clothes, and insisted that we double date. His family also invited her to all of the family events. It was very odd. He also told me that he still and would always love her. He broke our engagement over the phone. We dated long distance and I never saw him in person after he broke up with me. When I asked him to meet in person, he wouldn’t. He eventually told me in a phone call that he never wanted an instant family (I have two children and he had none and had never been married… we were in our mid 40s and he was my first kiss as a teen). He also told me that he asked me to marry him to keep our long distance relationship going but never thought it would get to the point where we would get married. We had sent out invitations and I quit my job and put a for sale sign on my house. He always made time for his friends and family but seldom for me and always included his ex girlfriend for big events. The red flags were there, but I was just too stupid to notice. I got my job back and realized that I really dodged a bullet. I haven’t been in a relationship since then. It has been 11 years. I concentrated on raising my kids. Started dating again just recently. Wish I would have known about these videos back then!

    • @camellia8625
      @camellia8625 10 месяцев назад +2

      …..”he asked me to marry him to keep the long distance relationship going”…… how awful he was so cavalier with your time and life. I hope you find a caring man with much more integrity for a LTR

    • @PortOrangeMom
      @PortOrangeMom 10 месяцев назад

      Thank you! I appreciate that.

  • @jennifermcrae3705
    @jennifermcrae3705 Год назад +2

    Leo, Leo, Leo, Leo, Leo! That makes so much sense. No wonder your voice raises when you’re trying to make a point that you are passionate about lol.
    I’ve been watching your new videos for about a year and this older one just popped up, glad I watched it.

  • @sharonbartley808
    @sharonbartley808 2 года назад +7

    Johnathan, you know all these games we have to play, while in the meantime time is passing. Looks fading. Health going. We don't have a lot of time to play and mess with feelings as we'd like to think. I blame social media and dating sites. Too much options. It killed romance.

  • @JanGreen
    @JanGreen 2 года назад +37

    Thanks for the tip about the guy that is BUSY with family and friends. I'm in the middle of that type of "relationship" now, if you could call it that. No phone calls, texting only, and not much advance notice when seeing him about every 10 days. Not planning ahead is a big red flag for me. If he can't plan to see me, he's not thinking about making time for me. Argh. At 62, this is getting very old.

    • @streaming5332
      @streaming5332 Год назад +5

      Get rid of your mobile, then he can't text you.

    • @Sharon-777
      @Sharon-777 Год назад +3

      Don't put up with that don't reply when he text and don't be available when he wants to see you it's that simple you deserve so much better he's not going to change because you're allowing him to treat you this way

    • @mareecrook2162
      @mareecrook2162 Год назад +1

      How do u tell if a guy is honest when you communicate with him on line

    • @Sarahhenderson11
      @Sarahhenderson11 Год назад +2

      Don't bother with this guy. Get out now while you're not too attached. He sees you as a placeholder, not a dream women. It's bloody amazing how many people just start off relationships like he is with you and years later it's the same dreary dead end and he goes onto marry another woman instantly. Don't let that happen!

    • @pferdeklauerin
      @pferdeklauerin 8 месяцев назад +1

      For me its the same about four month now. We only see us one time a week. He dont give me appointments to plan but he message me everyday, says he love me, miss me and wanna move together. But we did not really get to know each other. Im confused and fearfull of that he could be a narc.

  • @glamaz0n
    @glamaz0n 3 года назад +22

    I think you should have your standard/boundary statements printed on a business card and laminated. When you are asked what you’re looking for, hand them the card.

  • @lanamuir9352
    @lanamuir9352 2 года назад +33

    Great video Jonathon, thank you. I fell in love and lived with a man in my late 20s for five years. About 41/2 years together I asked him one night "if we had a future together?" "Will we marry one day?". His reply, "I will never marry you". I ended the relationship about three months later. He married another woman one year later. I cried non-stop for two years. I still dream about him thirty years later. I wish that I would have asked the right questions within our first year. I was so happy and contented, that it didn't even occur to me. He did divorce and has had three or four other live-in relationships since his marriage. Maybe I dodged a bullet. But, it didn't stop me from loving him the way I have never loved another man.

    • @tshep173
      @tshep173 2 года назад +1

      It's been 30 years? You certainly know a lot about a man who you broke up with 30 years ago. Sounds like there was some other type of connection.

    • @v.m.3619
      @v.m.3619 2 года назад +1

      I wished if u had walked away the minute he told u he would never marry u. Have to believe whatever a man tells u abt himself.

    • @kristir1262
      @kristir1262 Год назад +4

      Thank you for sharing. I can't tell you how much it means to have someone just acknowledge that this is how things turn out sometimes.
      Much peace and love to you 😘

    • @Sharon-777
      @Sharon-777 Год назад +2

      I think you were in love with who you thought he was not who he really is a lesson I also learnt I wish I the best it's never to late 😁

    • @tshep173
      @tshep173 Год назад

      @@LV-wl7ch what are you talking about? There was nothing judgmental about what I said. The OP knows about his relationships after he was divorced. Many relationships after his divorce. I'm pointing out that there was more there.

  • @TiffanyAquino-tx8gy
    @TiffanyAquino-tx8gy 9 месяцев назад

    Jonathan, you are 100% CORRECT!!! I love your style and directness!! You’re spot on with your talks. Being a single 49 year old woman in the dating world, your messages are exactly what I’ve experienced and has to learn the hard way. Single ladies…TAKE NOTES! Jonathan is CORRECT!!!

  • @monikabennettprestwood
    @monikabennettprestwood Год назад +9

    We DON'T have time to f*** around. Jonathon, you have helped me so much these past 2 weeks of listening to you. 3 yrs post divorce after a LTM(23 yrs), I had a lot to learn and so much more to unlearn! For the 3rd time, I am back on the dating apps with a new outlook and already getting better prospects! I am a Jonathon believer!

  • @alysiahite12
    @alysiahite12 3 года назад +20

    Great advice on not investing in a married person. This is my personal #1 rule that I absolutely do not break. I ask during the introduction if they are married? If so bye! 😍💪

    • @efeyaachaa4870
      @efeyaachaa4870 3 года назад +6

      You lucky if they are honest firsthand

  • @heidimarifilipiak4430
    @heidimarifilipiak4430 3 года назад +18

    If you're in midlife, you have plenty of life in you... This is so true

  • @christinemartin9577
    @christinemartin9577 3 года назад +34

    Jonathon I love your direct bluntness . You really make my day ! 💯❤️

  • @lauriemayer6312
    @lauriemayer6312 2 года назад +3

    Jonathan, most men who are truly in their masculine protector/provider energy live to make their woman happy, for that gives them their greatest happiness as men. And they don’t need her to put forth much effort toward them except for some appreciation, validation, and admiration in return for their efforts.

  • @lorib5398
    @lorib5398 2 года назад +5

    it it's exhausting, it's the wrong person.

  • @cyndipatti1442
    @cyndipatti1442 2 года назад +4

    Love the real honest advice. And the “ F” bombs. Humor is necessary with this topic!! 😉👌we can all relate.

  • @jeantovern3918
    @jeantovern3918 3 года назад +12

    "Vet the mother****" and "We don't have time to eff around!" Omg, I'm laughing so hard.

    • @ProudKansan08
      @ProudKansan08 2 года назад

      I've known my ex-boyfriend's mother since I was a baby. She loved me when I was a baby and toddler, so I've been told. I have one memory of me sitting on her lap when I was little. Decades pass, and I start dating her son. He told me that his mom hates ALL his girlfriends and hated his ex-wife for the 13 years they were married and the time they dated and got her pregnant. He said the minute the divorce papers were signed, his Mom suddenly loved his ex-wife. She was always friendly to me until I started dating her son. Even his son noticed how hostile she was to me and my ex's younger brother teasingly thanked me because now his Mom liked his girlfriend now and aimed her hate at me. And I was warned that my ex's mother was crazy, as something mentally wasn't right with her. My boyfriend love his mother and take care of her, but while we were dating he said our relationship was more important and we would have a life away from his mother, so, at the time, I wasn't worried about his mother. I still liked his mother even though she hated me. I always told him to tell her hello for me when they went to church or went to their family things like funerals.

  • @estherdistefano6997
    @estherdistefano6997 Год назад +3

    I've been hurt,Too many times I'm too old and too tired I don't think dating is for me ,I have 2 children from my marriage and I am blessed with that ,

  • @cynthiahoz3948
    @cynthiahoz3948 3 года назад +36

    “You should be vetting the MF”😂 Like a presidential election😱lol. “we don’t have time to F...K around. Love you , Jonathon😍

  • @milicamarshastefanovich3312
    @milicamarshastefanovich3312 3 года назад +27

    I’m with you on the Puritan part.. I don’t do casual dating, never have, but I date intentionally to find a life partner, and that includes marriage. I’m incredibly open about that and truthfully, that conversation is happening incredibly early on.

  • @r.rajput2164
    @r.rajput2164 2 года назад +2

    Love it ! Mid life We don't have time to f around!!🤣

  • @JustMe-gf1ko
    @JustMe-gf1ko 2 года назад +2

    I am loving reading all THESE COMMENTS alone, wow!!! As informative as Sir Jonathon's message! 😃

  • @susanparkes5096
    @susanparkes5096 2 года назад +5

    Maybe dating is so exhausting because 99% of the people you meet are NOT exciting and turn out to be so far from what you're looking for that sooner or later it just crushes your spirit.

  • @jodyross5707
    @jodyross5707 3 года назад +13

    You are right about the men who know what they want. It’s perfectly fine for him to not know what he wants, but he’s not dating me.

  • @nalubegamariam8980
    @nalubegamariam8980 Год назад +2

    Maximum respect 🙏 Jonathan I love you so much be blessed 🙌

  • @axellesaupek9921
    @axellesaupek9921 3 года назад +4

    Just wanted to thank you again for the value you add to many of us around the world! Bear hug

  • @ConstanceCoerper-ys1sp
    @ConstanceCoerper-ys1sp Год назад +2

    It's raining great no partners night and. Dayz! Thanks as always Jonathon . You put Yousef out there by so we listen and make better choices. Or we fk up and you give. USA hug and courage to start a new.

  • @lindajones2994
    @lindajones2994 2 года назад +5

    Oh my Jonathan I’m Taurus and being stubborn I won’t take claim to. Thanks for sharing this with us it made me smile 😀.

  • @lcalexandra359
    @lcalexandra359 2 года назад +8

    You are really studied and wise. You’re so fun ,creAtive , and are truly a sweet soul with a lively spirit plus
    a dynamite sense of humor- Thanks for your videos.

  • @bernaditteduron3545
    @bernaditteduron3545 2 месяца назад

    I have been watching & listening to you for almost 2 months now. You really make me open my eyes. You are right 👍 about a man who were still hung up to his past/ relationships.

  • @sheilaseniff9338
    @sheilaseniff9338 3 года назад +9

    I would like to add also that if your anxious he might be abusive, and the body is remembering trauma. Past trauma that is healed, yet the body is a good indicator that new trauma may be present and we are not listening to the signs. Run.

    • @JonathonAslay
      @JonathonAslay  3 года назад

      🙏

    • @tdhawk167
      @tdhawk167 3 года назад +2

      I would suggest the Crappy Childhood Fairy. Helps with healing trauma, childhood and adulthood. CPTSD when not recognized or addressed, has its own challenges to navigate relationships

  • @Ogarit710
    @Ogarit710 2 года назад +24

    You’re absolutely right! After having a long distance relationship with a guy who knows my family and somehow is related. I noticed most of the signs you mentioned during this period but I was so naive to ignore these signs. When I traveled to meet him I found out that he is a narcissist.. he used the silence treatment and was abusive because I refused to have sex with him before he commit to me . He was frequently talking about his X wife how wonderful she is but he chose his freedom on her! So self centered.. empathy detached .

    • @lindajones2994
      @lindajones2994 2 года назад +2

      Personal Question Jonathan do you enjoy the ladies you meet online?

    • @lauriemayer6312
      @lauriemayer6312 2 года назад +1

      Sounds like you dodged a bullet there, Coco

  • @lisasturma9084
    @lisasturma9084 3 года назад +4

    This is ABSOLUTELY your BEST video yet!!!! THANK YOU 😊

  • @brieze1233
    @brieze1233 2 года назад +5

    You so so right with the midlife thing.. no games..there's no time

  • @janiegibbons919
    @janiegibbons919 3 года назад +5

    Know before a date! I wasted 2 half yrs with a manipulative narcissist

  • @victoriaflores5788
    @victoriaflores5788 3 года назад +4

    F*** Yes 👍🏽‼️ And I feel that ALL Of YOUR videos are of depth & I learn a lot from you ! Thank you Jonathan. You’re the best 🤩 & I’m a Virgo 😆 Tc & have a great day/rest of your evening 🧸🤗‼️ Love m, Victoria Flores 😍

  • @daisylass1712
    @daisylass1712 2 года назад +3

    Any man or women should educate themselves. I really like this channel.
    Been married a long time and understand the value of this channel.

  • @lisaatkinson8120
    @lisaatkinson8120 3 года назад +6

    You have touched on a couple of things I have been keeping a watchful eye on. I noted a couple of things that you have brought up. I found him to be always looking on line for another something… I noted this and am keeping attention to see if he likes the drama behind it. The urgency, the needing better. The other thing I noted is the constant conversation about his ex wife. Beyond that I noted he keeps connection with all the Ladies he had been with or had intent to be with. I don’t see that as a red flag as I have kept connection with some that were healthy enough to move on and we are mutually happy for what happens for each other. For him I feel it’s the they may still want me and affection for them.
    Neither right now is a major cause for concern but one that I am being observant about.
    It’s so extremely funny how answers in life pop up to help you on your path. You touching on what I had noted most recently is just so funny. As always thank you for your upfront keeping it real information videos.

    • @lisaatkinson8120
      @lisaatkinson8120 3 года назад

      I will add that I actually touched on both in subtly way. He is a bright man and listens and reads my verbal cues. For now I am not going to jump to anything and just observe. I am happy I was aware of observing these and connected with them. To be honest I wasn’t really interested in a relationship but the more I spent time with him I could relax and connect to him on a deeper level letting me open up more and be more vulnerable yet present. I have openly decided to enjoy this using it as a means to learn more. My goal was to continue to open up and allow myself to be vulnerable. Learning how to lean in to being present in body and mind. Saying my truth, which I have never done in a relationship because of the nature they were. This is allowing me a deeper connection with myself. If something come out of it bonus.

  • @good1125
    @good1125 2 года назад +3

    I love Leos they are so generous and loving. 😊

  • @thecatholicunschooler6507
    @thecatholicunschooler6507 Месяц назад

    Hello, i’m new to your channel and I love listening to your advice. Especially, when you talk about forget your feminine energy in your mid life. So true. Thank you for all of your helpful advice. I am not one to give my body away until marriage but everybody does what they do. I love to wash my dishes or walk on my track and listen to your videos. Although, I do have to stop them when my kids come in the room because of some of the Termanology and swearing that you use. I know I don’t have to come to the channel but I really do like a lot of your advice. Thank you for everything

  • @rachelsnewlife
    @rachelsnewlife 2 года назад +3

    i LOVE YOU SOOOO MUCH JONANTHON!! YOU CRACK ME UP!!! IT ABSOLUTELY IT IS IN YOUR ATTITUDE BABY!!

  • @Linda-eo1tc
    @Linda-eo1tc 3 года назад +26

    The "I'll believe it when I see it" is so bang on. I can actually FEEL that on dates, when the guy describes past relationships or dates. Permanently stuck in the candystore. Gnawing on bland candy. Like a mindless pacifier.

    • @JonathonAslay
      @JonathonAslay  3 года назад +2

      Most men and women are clueless...

    • @Linda-eo1tc
      @Linda-eo1tc 3 года назад +4

      @@JonathonAslay I feel compassion. Not ranting about them. But you have to know what you want, and even more importantly, know what you want to bring. It all simply doesn't fall into your lap. It's sad more men and women can't envision the fun journey of the build itself - towards the juicey and the delicious. Even if it doesn't work out, there is joy in it. Beautiful effort and joy.

  • @sheilaseniff9338
    @sheilaseniff9338 3 года назад +18

    Avoidant attachment---anxious attachment can also cause trauma bonds, Narcicisst/ Codependent. Lesson learned.

    • @JonathonAslay
      @JonathonAslay  3 года назад

      Gotcha

    • @tdhawk167
      @tdhawk167 3 года назад +1

      Empath/Narc, as well

    • @dianneciresi6324
      @dianneciresi6324 3 года назад

      Sheila Seniff I was in this kind & got 💔 from not knowing how to deal with men in the dating field of today after being in an abusive toxic relationship from many yrs ago, sorry to say..

    • @dianneciresi6324
      @dianneciresi6324 3 года назад

      @@tdhawk167 Rightly so as I was the empath & he was the narc 👺. Didn't know what either word meant til I learned all about these kind of videos coming from a place of naiveness.

    • @tdhawk167
      @tdhawk167 3 года назад

      @@dianneciresi6324 💕

  • @stephaniebrown7009
    @stephaniebrown7009 3 года назад +12

    I learned a lot about myself, and what I truly need in a relationship via dating.
    I ask better questions of myself, the other person,and what is needed for a successful relationship for me.
    I've learned, that love builds, it's not instantaneous imo.
    There's always room for improvement and to learn. One of the very first things of ourselves is being truthfully with ourselves. Johnathon... You help so many people I know. Your honesty, sincerity, with care is amazing.
    Good looking, smart men like you are rare!
    Thank you for all you do! 😘

  • @christinejenkins4414
    @christinejenkins4414 2 года назад +2

    I like your attitude and plus your really up front on everything.I can’t seem to find a guy like you.

  • @aliceswarts3684
    @aliceswarts3684 2 года назад +1

    Thank you for the pep talk!
    It's raining great men!

  • @billesummers1070
    @billesummers1070 3 года назад +1

    Lmao “I don’t have time to f@$& around.” I love u

  • @christinarosed.p.1967
    @christinarosed.p.1967 2 года назад +3

    55 raised 5 adult children have done 5 yrs celibacy after my husband left me, sold all bought 5 peaceful archers 4 yrs ago and went on a wild personal journey with raw nature. I have claimed and fallen on life's journey with passion, and passed grown men crying who could not stand the gruel...Pisces/Aquarius means logical/mystical equally...so much more...

  • @sandraduwareski
    @sandraduwareski Год назад +2

    I just sent beautiful energies for you and your son. I am sorry for your lost. Love remains.

  • @saraiannaccone1790
    @saraiannaccone1790 2 года назад +16

    Thank you 😊 you are so right. I just left someone who really didn’t have time for me even though he said he loves me. I saw the red flags even though we both felt a connection. I listened to my gut. Better for it

  • @teresitagarcia6529
    @teresitagarcia6529 2 года назад +3

    You’re awesome, thanks a lot👍

  • @tarynrowe5067
    @tarynrowe5067 2 года назад +6

    Sometimes in relationships partners and family can stifle the spirituality of an individual because they do not want to see the person as they really are. They want their version of the person. You have to give up trying to meet the expectations of these family members. I have learnt the hard way. I just hope with encouragement from people like yourself I can build my moat again.

  • @LisaGemini
    @LisaGemini 3 года назад +14

    Interesting that you had no clue about a healthy relationship even though your parents were married for so many decades. But I get it. My parents were, I thought, codependent on each other. My dad, though, was a Type B personality and my mom a Type A. She ran the show in every way! Needless to say, I thought that since I was a Type B, I needed a Type A myself. Enter two bad marriages...now I realize my pattern and want a healthy partnership. I may never get it but that's OK. I love myself and I'm satisfied with being alone. I'm happy.

    • @JonathonAslay
      @JonathonAslay  3 года назад +3

      Not sure how healthy their relationship was...

    • @LisaGemini
      @LisaGemini 3 года назад +2

      @@JonathonAslay I get it. It was a completely different time! Rigid roles for both genders.

  • @purplehearts3287
    @purplehearts3287 2 года назад +4

    My boyfriend isn't connected to his ex wife, he's just emotionally lazy. He puts NO effort whatsoever in a relationship. I'm leaving soon, I'm just waiting for my daughter to move to Texas since I'm stuck here because of him. He brought me from California, I agreed only because he promised up & down that things would be different and we would be getting married this year. Clearly this is not the case. He said he's just not someone who should be in a relationship because he has high expectations that everything should be perfect..no arguing or difference of opinion..nothing. I'm so done with his nonsense. This is 5 yrs I'll never get back. 😞💔🤦‍♀️

    • @repentjesusiscomingsoon1529
      @repentjesusiscomingsoon1529 2 года назад +1

      I hope you've dumped this guy! If he puts NO effort into the relationship, then he's just not that into it, PERIOD. You deserve better!!!

  • @princessgigiking
    @princessgigiking 2 года назад +3

    This video in particular helped me, fuck yes changed my mindset, that's where I'm at in my life. I hate small talk, I have a big brain 🧠, I'm a thinker! ♥️♥️♥️

  • @mariek4362
    @mariek4362 3 года назад +5

    My kids dad could never hold a job. He always thought he should be running the business with in the first year of being there. He had the "I'm smarter than everyone" syndrome. Big red flag!

  • @norapetty3355
    @norapetty3355 Год назад

    Blessing Overflowing You & you love! Amazing Wild Humorous Sweet Brother!!!

  • @elizabethmanns5697
    @elizabethmanns5697 Год назад

    100%! "You should be vetting the m*th@3F&ck&r!" LOL Love it!

  • @deblarosa1703
    @deblarosa1703 3 года назад +11

    Thank you for your honesty! It is so refreshing. Your heart and knowledge come through loud and clear. Very refreshing! Keep on keeping on!

  • @glamaz0n
    @glamaz0n 3 года назад +16

    I love the way that you stress finding out information about a relationship. Your example of making the call when you haven’t heard from your match wannabe in a while. Instead of wondering, wondering, and more wondering, just ask!!! You might not get an answer that you like, but even if the answers aren’t “a good fit”, - I.e. you feel rejected - you can heal rather than
    wondering ad Infinitum. And then…you can realize that they are the wrong guy!! Eureka!

  • @lindagonino4486
    @lindagonino4486 Год назад +1

    OMG I love you , Jonathan 🤣🤣🤣

  • @dianedemarco370
    @dianedemarco370 3 года назад +13

    Wow the last guy I met talked about how much his ex hurt him in addition he started going through work issues while dating. He also admitted to having anxiety too so he wasn’t dealing with work issues well. He read into emails from his boss too much. It made me think he isn’t emotionally mature.

  • @marimar2525
    @marimar2525 2 года назад

    Love it ! We don’t have time to f#%k around ! Absolutely…

  • @lindahasko7252
    @lindahasko7252 2 года назад +5

    QUESTION: what happens to women who in retrospect cannot even think of a man who they can honestly say, that’s the kind of man she wants in her life; a well-balanced person that could compliment her in values, standards, priorities, activities. Do you really think there is the perfect lid to every pot, or not.

    • @lindahasko7252
      @lindahasko7252 2 года назад

      Nichole, I’m in the very same place. I work to supplement SS, and I am very positive as far as my future goes. I am not looking for a man at y this time, but spending time getting to know myself. I figure if a relationship is meant to be, I will run into it someday. If not, I’m happy with family, good friends, myself, and my dog. Married 48 years to my husband, who I doubt anyone could hold a candle to.

    • @lindahasko7252
      @lindahasko7252 2 года назад

      Yes!

  • @rebekahmcAlister
    @rebekahmcAlister Год назад +5

    Just back into dating and your content is SO helpful. I think I am in love too quickly, make up a story in my head of who the other person is, instead of cultivating real emotional intimacy. Thank you for helping me reprogram!!

  • @debra6433
    @debra6433 2 года назад +1

    I happened to find you purely by accident and I am very taken back at how much have the same experience and I like your style it is my style completely

  • @irmagarcia8266
    @irmagarcia8266 2 года назад +5

    Omg!! Yesssss 50’s is harder…. ❤️ Exactly stop wasting your time with people that want to have fun if you are looking for a serious husband!

    • @ginadimuzio1767
      @ginadimuzio1767 2 месяца назад

      What is the deal With the whole wait minutes/hours to text?? We are grown adults. Why can’t we just text back within a reasonable time frame? This doesn’t make me look needy. I hate the rules and regulations Jonathan. Also, after four dates with someone? Should we be communicating more than just the surface one text a day and no phones calls? I’m just curious. More rules and regulations. It was so much easier and natural when I was young.
      Thanks Jonathon.

  • @alibrough8780
    @alibrough8780 Год назад +1

    Jonathon, back to the bookstore today the owner who's sold me loads of books including most of your recommendations saud to me, Im pretty sure you're a therapist aren't you " Made my day because I have gone from victim to victor and this business owner had me pegged as a winner . Fuck yes

  • @mellyg_ljc
    @mellyg_ljc 2 года назад +6

    I don't play games or follow rules. I show up authentically. And I ask questions even hard ones. But i also believe women can put waaaay too much pressure on the first few dates. It creates stiffness, where the woman's personality doesnt come through bc shes too busy over evaluating it. And so no connection is made and they arent being asked out for dates 3 4 5 etc. I think some balance is needed. I try to ask myself at first would i spend 3 more hours with this person? So that i also dont count out a great guy just bc there isnt earth shattering chemistry the first date. I think 3 is a good try. If still no deisre for a kiss on my part i let them know we aren't a match.

  • @nalubegamariam8980
    @nalubegamariam8980 Год назад +1

    I really love your advice thank you alot ❤️

  • @bootsguy5155
    @bootsguy5155 Год назад +4

    OMG... I love your great advices... they are right up in the alley even if I am gay this is still applicable or relatable to gay men or same sex relationships in general.

  • @michekids
    @michekids 3 года назад +5

    As I was listening to this video, I thought that if I had few more numbers I would have won the lottery. So sad, but very hopeful. Thank you always. The more i listen to you, the more fun I have. Don't want to ruin things by trying to be in a relationship.

  • @dawnf.2182
    @dawnf.2182 Год назад +2

    You are hilarious....and right on target.

  • @brendabright49
    @brendabright49 Год назад +1

    Nailed it!!

  • @emiminarsih5418
    @emiminarsih5418 3 года назад +8

    Thanks to all your sharing and advises Jonathan, I just like you learning the relationship , I was married when I was very young and busy with kids until my husband passed away after together for 10 years, until now its been 18 years I still single , and keep thinking positive if one day the guy will notice me and willing to spend the time together till both are old, never thinking late to find next love life as I am 48 years old now.., thanks again 🙏I hope you will find your love life too 🙏🙏♥️

    • @JonathonAslay
      @JonathonAslay  3 года назад

      🙏

    • @LadyHawkeNJay
      @LadyHawkeNJay 2 года назад

      Same here...except he left, felt like he died, since 2014...just staying in prayer...

  • @taraelmegreen5527
    @taraelmegreen5527 3 года назад +5

    Brilliant, needed to hear this with a stagnant 7 month transitional relationship....#3, 4, and 5 🤔

  • @rachelsnewlife
    @rachelsnewlife 2 года назад +1

    IT'S RAINING GREAT MEN!!

  • @littlewoodchopper2659
    @littlewoodchopper2659 2 года назад +2

    I've been surrounded by mostly all men my whole life. People say guys don't open up. They actually share too much. Especially after working with all men, I think I'm good. I'll pass

  • @anitafrank9347
    @anitafrank9347 Год назад +2

    THANK YOU JONATHAN,I LIKE HOW YOU SPEAK STRAIGHT TO THE POINT.

  • @genesis_888
    @genesis_888 2 года назад +11

    5/5 score for my ex = ☑️
    My intuition was right so I am painfully aware but grateful for having the courage to walk aways before I exp more pain… ty for your analysis 🙏🏼

  • @MCC4RTHY1
    @MCC4RTHY1 Год назад +1

    Just bought conscious uncoupling. Thank you for the recommendation.

    • @JonathonAslay
      @JonathonAslay  Год назад

      Great... by the way, I'm interviewing the author of the book at 4:50pm PST today. ruclips.net/user/liveCPHqRNY9vMI

  • @esybe999
    @esybe999 Год назад +2

    Thank you for your wisdom!!!👍😀
    Scorpio 🦂🤭

  • @debra6433
    @debra6433 2 года назад +3

    Say what you mean and mean what you say!! Totally agree not much time left and I am just finding out why

  • @Janellejanelka
    @Janellejanelka 2 года назад +9

    Jonathon you are amazing ! Thank you for your clear and genuine videos. Magic fairy is so funny. I especially love that you recommend the books and show the reference you draw on. Really professional and cool.

  • @janemitchell8003
    @janemitchell8003 2 года назад +1

    Yes! yes! yes! Grill grill grill! Nearly 3 years of grief in a wrong relationship.
    Thank you Honathan

  • @melraym0
    @melraym0 3 года назад +3

    Really needed this today
    You must be psychic
    Thank You

  • @marjorieaaron8737
    @marjorieaaron8737 2 года назад +3

    Amen you got that right cuz you can only do your own thinking

  • @valorideekon7716
    @valorideekon7716 Год назад +5

    Jonathon, I purchased your book “ What the heck is self love anyway” . It is a fabulous read that helped me immensely… I then passed it onto my daughter who felt the same. It will now be passed onto my eldest daughter. I love your channel. I am looking at dating with an open heart but no longer going in blind. I am so excited to see you have found your beloved. Wishing you both a lifetime of love .