Caitlin Doughty: From Here to Eternity
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- Опубликовано: 5 сен 2024
- Fascinated by our cultural terror of dead bodies, mortician and best-selling author of SMOKE GETS IN YOUR EYES Caitlin Doughty set out with her characteristic curiosity and razor sharp wit to discover how others care for their dead. In rural Indonesia, she observes a man clean and dress his grandfather’s mummified body. She meets Bolivian natitas (cigarette-smoking, wish-granting human skulls) and Japanese mourners who use chopsticks to pluck bones from their loved ones' cremation ashes. Doughty is joined by illustrator and fellow Order of the Good Death member Landis Blair for a conversation on what it means to treat the dead with “dignity.”
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I absolutely love this woman. Wonderful humor. Would be thrilling to meet her.
Hey there Caitlin.. I had a Death & Dying class in high school. Our teacher was a special guy.. he was of a religious order as a brother/monk.. he did not show for one of the last few classes.. he had.. died. While he could no longer talk us through this.. it made quite an impact on us. I appreciate your work.. thank you for sharing..
Frank from Boulder, Colorado
That is fascinating that you had a Death & Dying class in high school. Bravo!
@@tinagregory5993 even more fascinating that the instructor ended up actually dying lol
@@rhahavyb that's not funny...
This is not Caitlyn's channel. She won't be reading this.
Hey Frank I Had a class by the same name. It was in the seventies.' when was yours? I'm sorry you went through that at a fairly young age.. The only thing I learned from that class was that our teacher was trying to sell stuff to our parents. It was in L.A. He won some stuff at game shows Thankfully I Had many other great teachers. Thanks teachers.
"It's a show we do, Landis and I, Pulpit to Pulpit." I love your sense of humor so much!
"I'm not going to get stuck in a cave today! Not with these hips!" sent. me.
It's so wonderful that she keeps on talking about what is missing in the American funeral industry. From the outside it seems very....empty. Where are the rituals, the traditions, the interaction with the dead loved one?
I'm Danish and we have traditions about funerals, that I really love. Most people have a religious ceremony in the local state church (5% of the church's members use it on a monthly basis. The rest of us only visit it for weddings and funerals). It takes about half an hour and afterwards the coffin is carried out of the church. It's seen as an honour to carry the coffin, and it's a beautiful way of say goodbye to a person you love.
Afterwards, we get together for something that directly translated is called "grave beer". It means that we spend time together, eat and drink and tell good stories about the person we lost. There's nothing official about it, and usually everyone feels a little better afterwards.
In my family, we're all sure, that my grandfather died on purpose the night before a meeting about moving him to a nursing home. That this old stubborn man wasn't leaving my grandmother until he died. It's not a story for the church, but it's wonderful to laugh about afterwards.
Finnish funerals follow the same pattern, not a surprise really since all the Nordic cultures are pretty similar. How does the funeral go if the corpse wasn't a member of the church? I left the lutherian church when I was 18 and I have no idea where my funeral can be held 🤔
@@ilarious5729, yeah, we're a lot alike....and every social event includes alcohol ;)
We have cemeteries for non-menbers, but the funeral is whatever you want and whereever you want it, just like secular wedddings.
I have been working in nursing homes for 20 years. And when a resident leaves us through death I refer to how they leave as the Heaven Express. In nursing homes residents tend to leave in threes. Don’t ask why it’s just how it happens and I called the last one to leave as they are the one in the caboose. It may sound weird but often our residents know when the heaven express is coming for them. Most are not only not afraid but many look forward it like it’s a great adventure. Many as they get closer to their time will start talking to their passed on loved ones and if we take the time to listen they will tell you stories about them.
emagneticfield bless you
I was raised in Indonesia 16 years as the youngest of 4 children. My parents were missionaries in Jakarta and they took us to witness a Toraja burial in the 60's and here is one of the pictures of the cliff effigies burials we witnessed. I will try to upload the image from 1967. If I can't, what Caitlen is describing is absolutely accurate.
The work Caitlin has done is so inspiring. I'm currently listening to her book right now and it's wonderful. I feel such anger that she struggles with sexism with all her experience and passion for death positivity. RUclips is strange how these seeds she planted so long ago continue to grow. So wonderful. I hope she takes care of herself so she can continue her work.
Caitlin is THE best. So real and so entertaining. I am glad she represents the people that can no longer represent themselves. WELL DONE. Cheers from Australia.
What a brilliant and articulate woman! I could listen to her speak for hours on end and never get bored. Way to go, CAITLIN!
Yes, emergency is what it feels like here in Australia too. I couldn't name it. Thank you.
The book she mentions is called Weird Europe: A Guide to Bizarre, Macabre, and Just Plain Weird Sights. Not "Macabre Europe" but pretty close
As always, I hung on your every word. I am fascinated by death and it's never far from my mind but my family believe I am just morbid and unnatural. They soon changed their tune when I mentioned 'life insurance' and I had enough for my modest funeral and a bit left over. They do things BIG in my family but I don't agree to that myself. I just hope they follow my wishes when I go. You're doing a magnificent job and I would love to meet you, honestly, but I'm in the UK so good wishes for the future and I hope people start listening to you. xxx
You should write what you want in your will, I'm not sure if it's called advanced directive in UK as well but caitlyn has a video of how to make one. You most likely knew this if you're a deathling but I leave this comment for others to see since many don't know they have the right to decide what they want after the death.
@@ilarious5729 Thank you for the info xx
Hi Caitlin
Just love all your videos!! I am a 57 year old disabled woman petrified of death but by watching you I’m not going to say I’m cured but it’s not so daunting anymore. I live in Australia and would like to know when you’ll be coming down under for a visit as I would love to hear you speak!!
Also a question I’d like to ask is has there ever been a time you have witnessed a light leaving the body or something like that as I have been told a lot of nurses experience things like that !! Keep up the good work love Crena XX
This is not Caitlyn's channel.
Great question Crena, I hope we get an answer
The illustration question was actually a very smart one.
Catlin I worked in a funeral home and that was a profound for me knowing I to one day will die. It came full circle for me in 2021 when I had a had a heart attack and almost died. I have been preparing for for my death. By the way I watch and enjoy your videos.
yes, rituals needed
Wonderful! I believe you have changed my life! Thank you!
Ugh love her!
Wonderful presentation Caitlin! Thank you for your amazing insights into death positivity! I've learned so much from you.
More Mike from Baltimore.. I am going to reads your books in order. I love to hear your public speakings...Do you have the books on tape. I love your inflections... Morbidly Yours, Mike
It’s my personal belief that you are not your body. Your body is a vehicle you use in this life to interact with others. To learn to love, forgive, be grateful and enjoy all of the pleasures of being in your body. When your body gets too old, sick or otherwise damaged your soul moves on to whatever comes next. A body should be treated with respect in all of its phases alive or dead.
I think the time with your loved one after they die is not for the one who has died, but for the living. It allows the living to say goodbye in a personal way; not sitting in a pew with your loved one on display in a box - not even looking like them.
Caitlin, will you please talk more about hospice care. I’m a retired psychiatrist (76) who would truly love to volunteer for the lonely ones.
Just love her stuff! Never a boring minute with Caitlin. Will try to get my post ready this evening.-
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The question from the lady who was coming into the industry, made me realise that funeral directors themselves are going through a sort of grieving process. The industry is changing a huge amount. More now I think, than at other time. Burying and cremation of our dead has not changed really, for thousands of years, except mummification and then the last being embalming, which has made people be more open to alternatives. However technology is moving so fast in every direction its now making other options a realistic possibility, and fine tuning the ones already in place. So with all this happening, when you were saying about they're behaviour, it made me think that it sounds just like the several stages of mourning that people go through, the shock and disbelief, then the disengagement, sadness and depression followed by the anger etc etc. So your right Ms Dougty, if we just hang on in there and ride wave, eventually they'll get to acceptance.
This was the best yet
She makes death less terrifying
She really does!
I still want to advocate for Caitlin to have conversations with her venues (where she speaks and someone records her) that they make sure the microphones are working and that the questioners be able to be heard. Or, at least, that the questions get restated before answered. In this case the microphones were not needed for the questions, but the microphones attached to the cameras, at times, didn't work.
That is interesting, I would like a video about your views at the end! I would have thought you "believed" something to get you into this and be so death positive... Please do a video about it!
I remember learning about the Ruriden Columbarium in the episode of Japanology Plus called "graves". It's so so interesting.
that place in Calorado that she mentioned was in a true crime Podcast called "Vanished" its about a women that went missing.
Kristal Reisinger :/ That's all I can think about when I hear Crestone now. That podcast and her case were so eerie.
I want to respond to what Caitlin said around 27:00. For me, as a woman, I’m drawn to the idea of composting because women’s bodies are powerful and special by nature. For example, our bodies create whole humans! The way our bodies expand to accommodate a growing baby, and how that baby gets out … it’s pretty awesome and yet completely natural. If creating life is natural and awesome, then why wouldn’t death be awesome and natural too? When you think about what happens during decomposition, it’s as amazing as pregnancy!
She's funny as hell. "Pulpit to pulpit".
Great ciao congratulations for exceptional research. Work about forensic science and more Twitter and RUclips 😅😇
Namaste
Love
(Psst...it was the funeral of the late Thai king, not president. Awesome event, though!)
💙🔥💙
The oarsman will row us all over to the other side of the river Styx. If you fall out of that boat you could drown. So while you have time, learn to swim.
Drown? And if you drown, where do you go then? 🤔
when you realize she's dating Landis
I DON'T KNOW IF SHES DATING HIM ANYMORE AND IT HURTS
For a beatiful person like Caitlin not to be dating someone seems kind of inevitable, the rest of us will just have to learn to deal with it 😊
@@murrin- she mentioned a boyfriend on the financial diet so it's possible.
@@annieinwonderland nah she's not dating him, they broke up ages ago basically lmao
Its the Thai King's death that was 7 days not president.
What places did you see
Get the book, it's worth it.
our time on earth is so short. we try to acheive as much as possible during that short time, but the bodys end is so grotesque, nature tells you to abandon it, fixation on a diseased organism that the soul left and raised through space to another planet is uneasy. saw my 93 old aunt in the box, cousin kept opening the box and gaping at it, it was a shrivilled up dried up ugly bug cacoon, why preserve such a useless empty shell, like a bug cacoon or outgrown snake skin. move on and let it disintegrate, plenty of new entities are born to concentrate on and evolve to higher forms of life. however, the body can be harvested for skin by burn victems, eyes, hearts, kidneys, bones, livers, spleens, grey matter used, blood, plasma, if the who thing can be harvested so others can live, whatever is left, cremate it, less attachment to a useless, used up organism, that no longer has any worth,
This dude can not speak clearly... painful listening to him speak 😔