Fitness I finally stuck to 😭 getting out of my 2 year rut
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- Опубликовано: 10 июл 2024
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Nikki- I have been a long time viewer, since 2014/2015 if I had to guess. Thank you for always remaining so transparent and so authentic. Life is a journey, and thanks for brining us along and being raw about it. Sending so much love your way. - a fellow Texas girly who has also been through many ups and downs. You’ve got this ♥️
I could not Agreee more. I’ve been watching you for years and this video hit me so hard. I love you girl!! Keep it up.
^^ what she said! 100%. I relate to so much of this and it’s so comforting to know you’re not alone.
I’m also from Texas- Southeastern Tx but I have watched her for years. I can relate soooooo much
Nikki! I totally understand how you feel. I have been following you for 9 years. What has helped me is connecting with my faith. Pray to God for guidance and peace! You got this girl!
Nikki-losing your fur baby is a serious thing. You had Max for SO long and it's ok for you to grieve as long as you need to. Sending love!❤
So proud of you for still living and putting yourself out there for us. In 2022 I went through a divorce and then my dad passed away. It was so unbelievably brutal, and I relate to feeling lost. But all you can do in grief is keep moving, and you did that. Glad to see you finding bursts of joy and new motivation. Love you Nikki!!!
Oh girl I think we have the same life. Divorce, then my dad died 5 months ago. Ive been in complete dissociation from life. So not easy. You have support in Michigan ❤
Another longtime viewer here from the 2014/15 era ❤ it’s so nice seeing other folks echo their support. How you grieve can’t be judged by anyone else and accomplishing something as seemingly simple as establishing consistency in your life is a HUGE deal when it’s a struggle to even want to exist. Sending you so much love and will always be in your corner.
Oh man this hit me. It’s like you are saying the exact thing in my own head. About losing the plan and not knowing where to go or what to do next. Thank you for your honesty and vulnerability ❤
I love how raw and open you are about your struggles. I feel like you are describing me when you talk about the last 2 yrs. I'm so sorry about Max, I do have cats and I feel your pain. It's like losing a family member, but worse. I'm glad your feeling tethered to the world again. I also need a coach, a trainer, so I have to be accountable, because I'm obviously im not showing up for myself or care enough. It's baby steps again right. You got this Nikki. Thank you for sharing your life with us.
I’ve never related to a video as much as I have with this. 😭❤ Thank you for sharing your journey. It’s okay to not know where you’re going. Sometimes not knowing where we’re going slows us down to embrace where we’re at atm and where we’ve been. So much love & support, Nikki! 🫶🏼✨
I've been following you for years and we are the same age. I feel like we've been through thick and thin together. I am so proud of you for fighting on and I hope 2024 will be filled with amazing things and unforgettable adventures that you deserve. I am grateful to have the opportunity to follow your journey and you've inspired me and many others in so many different ways. The internet has become a toxic place putting more pressure on us, especially women, to do more, to look better, to make more money... etc... So I am super grateful you have been here for us, like a friend, when life was good and when it sucked. Thank you Nikki! I hope to meet you one day. Thank you for being a kind soul and a true badass! ❤
I have never ever lost a pet but the way you described your grief made me so emotional. Thank you for opening up and being honest. Love you since 2014!!! 💕
Depression is a real thing and Max was your family. I’m so glad you are doing better now and finding things that bring you joy again! Love you Nikki, good things will still happen to you 🩷 you deserve it!
❤❤❤❤❤ Ilysm losing a pet is soooo painful, and grief is unpredictable. Sending so much love
Im in the same boat. I lost my beloved cat around the same time..as you lost max.. and the way you have been explaining how u been feeling and experiencing..im going through the SAME thing, still going through it. So i feel you girl.
“Literally hanging on by a thread just doing what I can to keep going bc Idk where to go” I relate so much 😭😭 needing a tether is also me, it’s so crazy how long I have been watching you, since the infamous breakup video while I was going through my own, I’m so thankful for you and to still be following your journey!
I had to put 2 of my kitties down in the last 2 weeks. The way you describe the pain is so spot on. I felt so seen. Thank you ❤️
I feel the same way, lost my baby August 2021 and it rocked my life. It is so hard to find your footing again, thank you for sharing and for the encouragement you've provided. This is much needed for me
Girl same. 2021 I moved away across country with my then bf 6 months later we moved back. Relationship was rocky but we had all these plans. Early 2023 we drifted and the relationship of 4yrs ended in Sept. since then I felt like I’ve been in limbo. BUT going to therapy, being consistent with the gym and surrounding myself with close friends sure has help. 2024 WILL be better ❤
I trained/loved fitness hardcore as a 23-27 yr old but in the last 2 years I have felt so disconnected and lost and “untethered”. Turning 30 next summer and in need of a change that suits who I am now. Just know your feelings are valid! And we appreciate your honesty ❤️ thank you for always sharing - I have loved watching your journey since I was in my very early 20s!! 🩷🩷
I was talking to my doctor about this too and he says this has been a common assessment for people after the pandemic. Like we're all just going through the motions so he didn't have any judgement he was just pretty sympathetic to that and my constant insomnia right now. I think working out again would help so hopefully once I'm back to schedule next week and my classes are back on I'll get back to it.
@@kgal1298 thank you for sharing! Its always nice to know you’re not alone in feeling a certain way. Good luck with getting back into the groove - you got this! ☺️
Sameee I’m 28 now and shit is just hardddd, I’m hoping to focus more on health next year for sure 🫠
I haven't finished the whole video but wanted to say I fully understand how losing Max changed your world. I fully believe we have "one in a lifetime pets" they are out soulmates and Max was your soul pet. As a childless woman of 40, I feel this in my soul how the loss of pets (family members) can really make us feel lost and hopeless. I'm happy to see you feeling like you've found something to give you purpose again , and as a fellow runner, knowing how it mentally makes me feel I'm so happy to see you found a love with it too. Wishing you all the best always.
I feel you nikki❤ I had a Brown dobermann, her name was Aris and I loved her to the core. I had her since I was 10. One Day, 9 years later she woke up with sad eyes, so I took her to the vet. The vet said " she has an agressive cáncer, there' s nothing we can do". 12 days later, she left this world, and my world too. I cried her for years and years. I was 19 when I lost her. Now I'm 44 and I Still remember her with tears in my eyes.
I understand the grief of losing a soul pet. My life stopped after I lost my Doberman. I think people thought I was weird for grieving the way I did (and still do). You should talk about it. Lots of us out here get it and feel like no one else does.
I have been here since the beginning. I understand this in my soul. You are not alone and I'm so proud of you. When I lost my soul pup, I didn't think I would recover. Sending so much ❤ love
Still my OG, most authentic, favorite person to see on RUclips. Thanks for your honesty and taking us along on your journey. ❤️
I’ve been following you since the beginning and I’ve watched you grow, mature and look how far you have come. I love how real and genuine you are. Keep pushing my love we’re here for you! Love from Aus ❤
Nikki, I've been watching you for years. I completely understand the pain of losing a fur baby. I lost mine earlier this year, and I felt immense guilt that I hadn't done enough for her. We go through phases in our lives, and sometimes health, fitness, whatever gets pushed aside. You're doing your best, Nikki.
Nikki, following you over the years has been such a treasure. Even if you feel like you are still figuring things out, we are all so proud of you ❤️
You go girl! I’ve been the same..been lifting since 2015 and deadlifting 140kg at my peak and I still feel like a beginner when I’ve lost my mojo and feel lost. I’ve just got back into training this year after 2 years off and 28lbs down! Love you Nikki and been watching you since 2016.. cheering you on! ❤
Yesss Nikki, so happy you are figuring things out. You went through a lot in a short time. It’s not weird at all. ❤
Thank you for being so open, honest and raw ❤
I had a lot of loss in 2021 and I have felt a similar way. I love and appreciate your transparency, especially around your fur baby and your fitness. I will continue to be such a big fan and am excited to keep seeing content from you!
Thank you for this. A career change took me completely out of what I was doing with my routine and it’s been amazing but I’m still trying to find my way through so thank you for the raw authenticity.
you described my feelings exactly. I lost my Dad after a very short and sudden battle with cancer, the man who is invincible in everyones eyes and now the world doesnt seem so bright or straight forward or exciting to me. I really am just going with the motions trying to get through each day. so you’re not alone and fitness has also helped me tremendously. We got this ❤
Sep 2021 I also lost my companion and the grief I experienced was a lot I'd never thought I would experience suddenly. It stops us completely in our tracks and we don't think that it will but it does. Everyone is different with how they handle loss and sometimes we have to take a break and let life cruise us for a little bit. I've been a silent viewer for a long time without an account. You've grown so much, Nikki. Glad to see you're getting back out there! :)
Thank you so much for being so authentic and vulnerable. I'm going through the same thing you have gone through or still going through. I feel like all my plans that I had for my life have just been kicked out the door. I'm so happy that you found your fitness groove back
Nikki thanks for being so genuine ❤ it breaks my heart when you talk about Max… I lost my senior kitty this year and it hurt so much. I know some people don’t get the grief of a kitty but it’s definitely hard. Wishing you positivity and success in the new year 😊
I'm literally sobbing watching this. I resonate so much with you! I have my baby boy meow meow now for 11 years, he's been the longest most constant thing in my life, in terrified to lose him! My heart breaks for you because I've watched you for years and max was always there! I hope God helps you to continue to heal from that lose!
Also, right before covid I moved for someone I expected to stay with forever but we broke up and I was left in a city with no friends or family! BUT I am now going to get married to a wonder man next year and we just moved into our new home! Love will happen for you when it's the perfect time!
I hope 2024 is the best year for you nikki! Sending much love and positive vibes your way! ❤
Thank you so much for being vulnerable and posting this. I have felt the exact same way since my dog passed coming up on 3 years and idk if I even fully admitted it to myself. Hearing it from someone else brings a lot of comfort because grief isn’t talked about very much, at least in my world. I really appreciate you and send so much love, hope, and refreshing energy your way💕
This made me cry. Literally growing up along with your journey and going through similar ups and downs I want you to know Nikki that you are and always have been an inspiration to me! Even when you’re sad, when you post a video I just know the next morning when I watch it(that’s my routine lol) is going to be a good one. Like I know we don’t know each other but it’s always so so so good to hear from you.
VERY proud of how far you’ve come and VERY happy you feel tethered to the present again. Love you girl!
You literally got me into weightlifting in 2015, I have since competed and kept the “fitness” lifestyle but stayed a subscriber for your personality. I can feel the vulnerability and genuineness through your videos, from sharing you moving states, breakups, the loss of Max and every life bits in between. It feels like having this distant online friend. Us pisces we feel so deeply it sometimes hurt but it makes every experience so raw. Thank you for allowing us into your life 💜
I'm glad to see you back doing your thing
WOO LETS GO grind time can't wait to hear about the journey
Nikki, I loved this video and you being so transparent so so much. I've watched your videos religiously since 2013 or 2014 and have related to your lack of desire to lift as you used to SO much and it's been difficult (but also nice in a way) to be able to relate to you on that, but still be cheering you on from afar. I lost my mom very suddenly and unexpectedly in March 2022 and that really shifted things for me as well. It really can shift EVERYTHING and I'm so proud to see you pushing forward with a new energy and sharing that with us. I LOLed so hard when you said, "in the mortal world...where we should be"😂. Thank you so much!
I know exactly what you're saying when you lost both someone you thought would be your life partner and a family member like Max. I lost my soul dog in 2021 and that hit me so hard I lost sight of any positive future. I thought it couldn't get worse. I lost my dad in September of this year, my boyfriend(on&off 4 years) ended up abandoning me in a month of losing my dad. I don't see a light at the end of the tunnel. I hope I can get where you are.
I've been through the same exact situations you have - one of mine was probably more insane and incredibly odd... but basically, the same exact things... and it is earth shattering. While after each of the events, I did take a couple of weeks off of working out, for some reason, I felt that the gym was ALL I had... so I just kept going. I'm excited for you to get back to it and that you found something that works well for you! Just one minuet at a time.... (that's what I've told myself since 2021)
My dog was diagnosed with cancer this year. Ever since I found out my entire world has been flipped upside down. I don’t know how I will go on without him. Your pain is valid. I feel you! 💔
You are so real. Loosing a pet is like loosing a child. I love ya Nikki!
I experienced something similar a few years back. Ended up being the lowest point in my life. At a pretty good place now. I promise it's not forever, making little changes when you can makes a big difference. Awesome job taking the step in changing your fitness. You can see the change in your energy. Happy for you! Keep going!!
I CANT WAIT!!!!!! ❤
You are a shining star for being so vulnerable.. not just now, but for so so so many years. You have always been so genuine and I’m happy you’re getting out of this rut. I’ve been there and it’s so comforting knowing I’m not alone.
❤️ so proud of you Nikki!!
Love this Nikki, and how real you are! Watched you from the early years in my gym girl era. Lost my way through Covid and recently started my running era. So this resonates amazingly well.
I wish I could give you the biggest hug 🥺 you got me crying over here. I get what your saying because my cat of 13 years passed away of cancer the same year. I remember reading your post about one month after she passed, about Max having cancer and I cried so hard at school reading that post.. I felt like a part of my world died when she left. I wasn’t ready for it, and I thought she had a UTI but turned out she had to be put down that moment at her vet appointment. That was the hardest day of my life…. Harder than when I found out my husband had an affair. She got me through that difficult time and now she was gone. Now I have two kitties in my life, that showed up out of no where! And I know she sent them to me. My spirituality has helped me accept her passing. I’m happy that you found a work out routine that’s working for you! I definitely need to get back into movement since 2020 I’ve been slacking with weight lifting.
My cat Bruce also passed away at 11 years old from cancer in May 2022. I 100% understand how you feel. I cannot even begin to describe the pain and the way it literally felt like my heart was breaking in two. I've been a long time follower since your blondevsworld days. I'm grateful that you're sharing your journey. Please know that you inspire a lot of people with your content❤
you're so sweet and honest! Thank you
You have no idea how much I needed the video! I won’t go into details but I completely relate to you almost down to December 2021.. it’s unreal! I am finally feeling a spark again and I’m glad there is other people out there who understand ❤️ love you girl! You’re inspiring me still after all these years!!
You’re the best Nikki ❤️ So much love to you always!!
Nikki! So glad to see you on the up side. I’ve been watching you for years and went through the same thing. Proud of you for sharing your experiences, the highs and lows. I too am looking for a tether in the world. It’s amazing to know I’m not alone! I love you so much! ❤❤❤
Nikki my 18 y/o cat is literally my favorite being ever and I know I would feel the exact same way
Nikki - love to hear that you've found something to feel connected again. Been here since your competition days and somehow I'm more inspired by you now than then. Although I've always been and have always been drawn to your warm personality. You seem like a person who just radiates love and light to me. Anyways, we know the past few years have been hard on you. We're here, cheering you on.
Been watching you since 2015 & I will always appreciate you being so real about what you’re going through. You have helped & comforted me in so many ways. ❤ you!!
Thank you for being so honest, i really do understand ❤
I hate I’m going to miss the live! But will rewatch! I hope you keep doing these live videos! I love them❤️❤️
Nikki I can completely relate to your sentiments around the last two years in several ways, especially being lost in life and losing my sense of self. I know myself and a lot of your followers will gain a lot of comfort and also eventual inspiration, like I have, from your vulnerability! Thanks for reminding us that everybody is going through struggles no matter what it looks like on a screen. 2023 kind of sucked and I'm also looking forward to the new year!
A lot of the positive feedback you shared about co-pilot resonates with me as well in my fitness journey -- the lack of routine is killer T_T
The humanized touch of the app sounds like a game changer to me too. I think I'll give it a try!
I have the same struggles! Every time I get into a routine something in my life derails me- pregnancies, loss/grief, my child’s diabetes diagnosis, etc. So cliche but my goal is to turn that all around this year 🤞 I want to feel good and feel good about myself! Good luck on your journey 🙂
max always made me smile with his random appearances :) its weird as well as a follower of yours for the past nine years how he has impacted your followers as well ( lets be honest some of the best moments was his taking away the camera time from Nikki). Sweet girl he is missed by us all and I am sure anyone who has lost a best friend knows how hard this pain is and I hope you find peace that you gave him the biggest love and life and a long great life
I completely resonated with what you were saying about how you felt after Max passed away. My 13yr old cat Daisy had the same cancer in her jaw and I helped her cross over a few weeks ago on December 16th 2023 😢I’ve never felt so lost. She was my life and it’s hard navigating life without her. Grieving is so tough, I don’t know if I’ll ever feel the same again.
I'm so sorry nikki that you have to go through loss and grief. It's brutal. I still randomly cry over pets that have passed a decade ago. I'm glad you're seeking therapy, because it's insanely beneficial to processing emotion (as you know). Max knows you freaking adore him and that's one of the most amazing blessings as a human... to experience love and give it (regardless of who you give it to). I say this as my Cat Carbon bites me lol 😆.
I'm proud of you and of anyone who gets through another day (sometimes even just a moment), when you journey through loss. I'm proud of you for being so honest and open about your struggles and it helps people who are struggling along side you. ♡
Nikki, we completely empathize with you. I have fur babies whom I adore and the thought of losing them is heart-wrenching. Listening to your story has brought me to tears. Unfortunately, life isn't always fair and we have to learn to adapt to our circumstances and make the most of what we have. I hope that 2024 brings you nothing but the best and I wish you all the luck in the world. God bless you! 💗💛❤😻🐈⬛
You have and always will be my favorite RUclipsr! I’m glad you are getting your light back..even though it never left!! ❤❤
I never knew how to describe my sadness of losing my Kitty to lymphoma, but you just described it for me. I feel crazy for always bringing it up but I thought I we had so much more time together. It’s been 3 moths and I still cry every day.
Nikki, I’ve always found you such a kindred spirit. Fellow cat lady soul-searcher who’s just learning how to rewrite “the plan”. Your content and experiences ALWAYS resonate, so I can’t wait to hear about your new program!
Wow
we love you nikki, thank you for being vulnerable ❤
Never be ashamed to cry. It’s okay to cry. Life hurts sometimes and we go through things that hurt deeply. We all have wounds and your feelings are valid. ❤
I’ve been a fan since your very very start when you did competitions! I did plans with you in my early workout days- your programs made me feel this at onetime! I was so excited to see you post this! You taught me everything I know about fitness and then about balancing health fitness and life. Thanks for always being open with the world ❤
Sending you a hug, love your videos, you are so real always, and very relatable! ❤
Nikki- I’ve been following you since day one and I really fell off with keeping up w RUclips the past couple years. I’ve been catching up on your videos and boy this one hit me deep. I unexpectedly lost a pet at the beginning of 2023 - right after ending a 6 year relationship, coming out, living by myself for the first time, etc. I feel like no one truly understands the pain of losing a pet eSP one that has even there as your first like pet as an adult that’s been there through it all and have that deep soul tie with. And while experiencing other changes and hardships- oh boy. I feel like people don’t understand the pain and grief and hearing you talk about how you feel makes me feel so validated in having lost myself as well. I hope all the best for you ❤ max will always be in our hearts for sure.
My cat passed away tragically in front of me a couple months ago. I watched him take his last breath. He was my companion animal and I haven’t been right since. I feel the exact same way. It brought up things in me that I never knew I struggled with. And I haven’t known how to get past it either. Just knowing that someone else has been going through the same helps to get through. Thank you ❤
Hey Nikki, been following you for a long time and I just wanted to say that I completely understand the mental free-fall from grief. I lost a girl chihuahua 6 years ago to a dog attack and it broke me. Her sister, I SWORE she was gonna live to 20 years because she just HAD to. She was diagnosed with Cushings in January and declined so rapidly that by September we had to make the call. She was 14. I am right back to free-fall.
I am SO PROUD OF YOU for getting back up and doing the damn thing. You’re an inspiration and I am going to get myself together and make you proud one day.
I totally need to set up a home gym 😂
There aren’t many “influencers” that I relate to too much, but I’ve always always related to you. I stopped watching RUclips for a while but this video just reminded me how much your journey in life has helped me. I’ve legit been with you since your gym guide days I want to say like nearly 20 years ago?! I absolutely adore you! Also so off topic but Nikki, the dark hair looks so SO good!!!
congrats!!! so proud of you n wish nothing but the best for you
Thank you for being so vulnerable 🫶🏻
I lost my love, Sookie, at 13.5 years. I work as a healer and when I couldn't save her, I really doubted myself and who I was on a deep level. I've lost both of my parents and my great grandmother and I can honestly say, I've never grieved like I did when my girl passed. There is something about these little beings that leaves you with a layer of guilt that doesn't come from human loss. They can't speak for themselves so you are their voice and their protector. When you can't stop them from being in pain or losing them to something you couldn't save them from, it hits on a whole new level. Doing what I do, I know they chose how they come into this world and how they leave and to be there with them is the greatest gift they could give you ❤.
I understand the feeling, I had it a couple years ago too, it felt like nothing good was every going to happen again and that everything fun and good had already passed. I am sorry for your loss, that is so hard
Thank you for sharing this. I have felt a very similar way in recent years. I'm not happy that you've felt lost, but thank you for making me feel less alone. Glad you found something to ground you :)
Thank you for being so transparent ❤️
Nikki , also a long time sub and I just gotta say that on low days you make me get out of bed in the morning! Also inspired me to go to therapy and that changed my life. Also had a recent health scare with my cat (whom I'd call my life partner at this point) and it wrecked me like nothing did before and I was feeling like no one got it and then I thought of you. Love you girl! You got this! Thank you for just showing up as authentic as you do!
I have followed you for so many years and I was Soo lucky to meet you at a meet and greet when you use to live in Houston! I love how real you are and I love seeing your growth with life! You touched my heart about Max- bc I lost my pup 3 years ago and I still feel like I’m grieving my baby’s lost. I feel you on how you feel about your baby. ❤ love youuu Nikki! Sending you a big hug!
Thanks for this Nikki, I've been in a rut/deep depression since 2021 and echo so many of the feelings that you mentioned. Where did the last 2 years go? no idea. Used to be the girl that lived in the gym and now I can't step foot inside without mentally shutting down. Thanks for the inspo to try and get my groove back finding a new way to get back to feeling good.
I literally have been feeling the same way of the free fall feeling for the last year. I never could bring how I felt into words, but that is definitely close. I’m so sorry you have felt this way! I’ve been following you for freaking ever! And I definitely feel like you are the most real of everyone I’ve followed over the last decade (a little longer actually) but I love you and I hope 2024 is your freaking best year yet!
Just want to say I feel you girl, I really do! You'll make it through, 2 years feels like a long time to be struggling with something but trust me, you're in the process of healing and you'll come out the other side.
I’m crying with you Nikki! Thanks for keeping it real always. I’m praying for you to keep pushing forward. ❤️
I can relate so much to the intro ❤ it felt like you were taking the words right out of my mouth. Happy to hear you are finding your way
Oh Nikki, no one can put a time limit on healing and believing again. I can't even allow myself to think too long about my kitties who have passed. They truly love us at all times and bring us comfort. I saw a video from 8 yrs ago of you and Sammie and Max at Christmas. He was always right in the middle of where you were😢I believe that you can do so much. Good to see you believe again❤❤❤❤❤🎉
Nikki, Max, was your rock. He weathered all the storms with you. We all loved Max with his little, wisened man face. He always took things in stride, and you took such good care of him. Your grief is understandable. Gotta say, even out of the workout loop, you just naturally have a great shape. You are blessed to be the most likable, warm, and relatable person I've seen on RUclips. You're one of the few i have to watch when i see you post up a video. Whether it's that day or a week or month later. Will come back to see how you are and what you posted. Wishing you well. I'm glad to see your beginning to feel life again. As someone feeling my own recent losses. Just want to say you are doing so well navigating the seasons of your life.
Happy Healthy New Year Nikki 🥰
I was watching this on my new TV but I had to grab my phone and log into RUclips to write a comment on this video - Nikki you’re always so relatable - I feel like I live this parallel life but in a different part of the world and I’m grateful to be able to watch your videos!!
Congrats on the new direction, I totally get you on being in somewhat of a haze once your lose a fur baby, when mine passed I was a total wreck.
We are all rooting for you babygirl ♥️ wish you an amazing 2024!
I love you so much for sharing this with us❤
We love u nikki!! Been following you since the beginning!❤❤❤