Insomnia insight
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- Опубликовано: 2 май 2021
- The pendulum method is a way to leave things that make sleep unstable (such as attributing meaning to how you slept and win-lose thinking) behind. It is very easy and practical and leads to more stable sleep.
Do you have trouble sleeping? Can’t sleep? Have questions about insomnia or sleep?
Please submit here and I will try to respond soon in an Open class episode.
www.thesleepcoachschool.com/h...
Would you like to work with a me and/or learn more? Awesome! Here are some great options:
- The Insomnia Immunity Group Coaching Program www.thesleepcoachschool.com
- BedTyme, a sleep coaching app for iOS and Android.
- My book Set it & Forget it (great place to start!) or This is Natto (if you want a deep dive into the mind) on Amazon.
The Insomnia Immunity program is perfect if you like learning through video and want to join a group on your journey towards sleeping well.
BedTyme is ideal if you like to learn via text and have a sleep coach in your pocket.
Not sure where to start? Check out these playlists!
This is natto - the perfect place to start learning!
• This is Natto - Start ...
Success stories - if you need hope and inspiration, this is for you.
• Success stories
Insomnia insight - a list of every single episode.
• Playlist
Talking insomnia - guests with trouble sleeping or experts share their stories / tips.
• Talking insomnia
Hypnic jerks, hypnic awareness and other common issues.
• Hypnic jerks and more.
Fatal insomnia - for those concerned about ffi and sfi.
• Familial and sporadic ...
Speed bumps - when you think you had a setback or “relapse.”
• Talking insomnia #55: ...
The self coaching model
• The model
Best!
This content does not constitute medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment, and should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or other qualified healthcare providers. 
Развлечения
This is a great lesson although I’m finding it challenging to implement. I had a very up and down night last night, up for long periods of time. The thing is, I wasn’t particularly anxious, so it’s difficult not to ask yourself endless questions as to what has caused this. Plus the fact that you’ve slept well for months and do the exact same thing and don’t sleep well, how do you not worry?
Anyway, this is an excellent video, it is soooo true that indifference is the key to peaceful sleep. Thank you for your work, it is immeasurably valuable to so many people and you probably don’t get enough recognition for it. 👍
Totally hear Jake! It’s sort of like the teaching in general, often it’s not complicated as in it’s not complex, logically it makes sense... but that doesn’t mean it’s easy!! Thanks so much for this comment 😊
This video is what i need right now!
For the last 4 months i m completely hyperaroused,every single day i m hyperaroused ,i fall asleep by closing eyes and choose not to open it unless its dawn,i have noticed the days when i really dont have any expectations about sleep, i just lay down just with the intention to give rest to my eyes...i often doze off...by doing this somedays i m getting 10hrs sleep and the coming night i m getting zero hours of sleep because i feel so restless i dont feel like laying down,it feels so boring to laydown without feeling sleepy. Trying to face the fear of being awake all night, Its now 4:21 am and still wide awake, i hope one day i will get back my sleep drive,i m missing it so badly for the last 4 months :')
So sorry to hear this, but glad you’re here. Check insomnia insight 378 and 356, I hope those will really help. Let us know how things go, rooting for you
Ive been getting very anxious. I've been swinging back and forth but I'm not doing anything different. I find that every night I have a ritual of calming my anxieties and lying to myself that Im okay with wakefulness when I really just want to sleep. Part of my ritual is watching a sleep coach video and delaying sleep. I keep thinking that my sleep are controlled by my emotions and theyre random, which frustrates me because I used to be able to sleep even though I was very anxious or scared. Now I feel like I have to control my emotions and be calm and accepting in order to sleep.
Hi there,
Sorry to hear about the difficulties but there’s much here that can really help to learn from. For example, we know sleep and peace of mind happens easily when we don’t try to control our sleep or emotions… when we are honest and look inside, and see how much we try to have control… this can really highlight the path to where we want to be. And this is possible thanks to this introspection you’re doing so bravely
Yep, yep and yep...nail on the head! Solid, sound & exact 👊🏼
😊 thank you!!
Hi Daniel. I find this very helpfull. It is a good way to look at it. Thanks!
Hi Karin, thanks so much for the support! It helps so much to know when things make sense or not!!
Hey Daniel you’re exactly describing my sleep during the past month. I’ve always been in the in-between stage for sleep where yesterday I slept well and it was because I wasn’t hyperaroused and today because yesterday I was watching an intense Turkish drama I didn’t even realize today I didn’t slept well because I was hyperaroused. Now that I understood what is going on, it’s time for me to take the meaning out of it so I can stabilize my sleep, I feel like I’m almost there to stabilize my sleep but I always hit a wall because of this so it makes me frustrated. I can’t wait to read your book and educate myself more to reach freedom!😩
So glad our teachings resonate and you know, as hard as it is, sometimes it’s hitting the wall that teaches us the most. Hang in there
Coach Daniel: Wow...this video really simplified this issue for me. I was just saying to myself earlier today that I can never 'win' or 'catch a break' win in reality it's me continuing to purpurate a problem that is all in my head (via anxiety).
One of the things I continue to struggle with is being worried about my ability to function the next day. Since I know this is a common topic for you, can you point me to a video that explains this in more detail?
Thanks for your continued help! I wish I could join your program but just can't afford it. I appreciate you making these videos available for us though.
So so glad to hear 🙂 and you’re doing great contextualizing yourself 👍
Your channel is great but the only trouble I’m having is if I even have sleep anxiety or hyperarousal.
I go to bed knowing that if I sleep, I sleep if I don’t I’ll be okay yet it still doesn’t change things. It’s been a month or so that I’ve been practising this thought process and I’m quite calm when I go to bed, yet sleep doesn’t happen.
So glad it’s been helpful and you know, there’s something we can learn here from just this one word.
The word “still” is special because in itself, it teaches us so much that is very helpful.
When we use “still” we are waiting for something to happen as a result of something we have done or something we are doing. It can be “I’m still waking up every hour even when I’m befriending wakefulness” or “I still feel anxious even if I acknowledge my emotions”.
It shows us that we have some effort, some trying, some attempt at having control… which is always what leads to some trouble when it comes to sleep and our inner landscape!
Now when you know this, you can take advantage by pausing when you notice yourself using the word “still”. You can take note of what it is you’re trying to change and by what means. And this is all.
Awareness in itself is all needed. Objective awareness without self criticism. “Aha, I see what my brain is up to!”. And when you simply become aware, the effort fades by itself.
But what is then the differnce (in this context ) between having hope to Sleep well again and expecting to Sleep well again. If hope is somehow linked to efford than letting go somehow means giving up ?
Last night I was so tired I went to bed an hour earlier than usual but still had a couple of awakenings and woke up an hour earlier than usual. I know you said not to focus on it and I try my best to just let it go but I do have the thought come up saying, why am I not getting more? Why aren’t things balancing out more?
Hi Dominic!
Yes you’re right, those questions are often what makes sleep a bit of a struggle. But how does one become less interested in sleep? I think education is key! When there’s 0 mystery, when it’s so clear what’s happening, then the brain naturally gets less interested...
I agree daniel you are so right! I am that person with "black or white thinking" that if i sleep straight 8 hours its perfect or if i wake two times its horibble ! And i am like this and with other things in my life not just sleep ! When my anxiety start to fade away i was the next day hey why i dont sleep right away 8 hours straight? And that is how my problem with sleep started !!
So glad it made sense and you know, we say “awareness IS change”. By you seeing this, things start to change already
hey Daniel, how you doing ? just visited your channel after a long time.. keep up the good work,
Rajdeep! Thanks for being in touch 😊 All is well!!
I cannot find the root cause of my anxiety. My life is going pretty good at the moment however I recently had a relapse, the last 2 nights have been pretty bad. I don't know what caused it, but the physical symptoms of anxiety are also there on top of the poor sleep, so I know I'm having anxiety. The only thing I can think of is maybe I am overthinking sleep, and dwelling on it too much.
Hi Gibememoni, you know hyperarousal can be sneaky, and sometimes that residual fear of being awake can make you have some trouble. Totally normal! I actually just created a speed bump playlist.
Speed bumps - when you think you had a setback or “relapse.”
ruclips.net/video/JC8kIR3zDKA/видео.html
One more thing, it can seem really important to find out why your having some anxiety... but often the search for the cause itself is the root.
Hi Daniel i recently had my cortisol and melatonin tested both saliva. 11.56 for melatonin at 2:30am apparently within normal range and below 2nmol for cortisol at 10:30pm again totally normal. Having real issues sleeping at night and trying to work out what could be causing it. Doesnt seem to be hyper arousal or i would expect the cortisol to be higher. Melatonin looks slightly low although im not sure. Do you have any pointers? Thanks in advance. Great info on your videos!
Hi Colin! You know, sleep isn’t complicated - when sleep doesn’t happen it’s either that you’re not sleepy or that you are hyperaroused. Gas or brake.
And you know cortisol levels I wouldn’t think too much about... testing and looking for the reason is very common and natural (!) but pretty much always leads towards struggling a bit more compared to abandoning the search!
One more thing to add is that hyperarousal can come from things like curiousity. Curiousity may not affect your cortisol levels much, but it’s enough to keep sleep from happening.
Hope this helps Colin and thanks much for the encouragement 😊
Hi Daniel! Since I've been following your channel, I had a couple of weeks of really good sleep. The last week or so, though I reverted back to my original pattern, where I only sleep every other night. I think it's a speed bump, and I'm trying not to stress about it too much, but is there any advice you could possibly give me, please?
Hi Daniel , I had trouble sleeping since March because of a panic attack at night and forcing myself to sleep for work in the morning. That led me into the world of insomnia I didn’t even know existed. I would just lay there for hours with my eyes closed and not sleep a blink sometimes. My doctor gave me time off for work and with your channels help I realized that I do get more sleep when I’m not forcing it. I start work next week and i wanted aduce because i don’t want to force my sleep for work in the AM. Today I didn’t have the best of sleep because I knew I had to do something in the morning.. sometimes I just lay there trying to “catch myself sleep” what advice would you give me.
Btw I wanted to tell you I love u and
your personality!
Hi Lilliana, thanks for the support!!
And you know, there was actually a question in Open class today that is similar, when there’s anticipation of something the following day and this creates pressure.
I think the most practical is actually to just not know what time it is + do nothing to “prepare”. The classical thing is to go to bed extra early and make sure it’s really dark etc... which are other, less obvious but still, ways of trying to force sleep.
And waiting, that’s a common one too.
When you wait for milk to boil it takes forever!
But step away for a second and you return to a burnt mess!
It’s the same with sleep. Waiting for sleep is very frustrating and it takes forever for sleep to happen. Do something else, something with no intent, something you just feel like, and sleep comes to you easily!
Hope this helps and be in touch!
@@Freydis_MAximus hello, No I wouldn’t mind. So to be very honest if it weren’t for finding Daniels channel I don’t know where I would be. I am so thankful RUclips brought him to me. This was two years ago. And I will admit it wasn’t always easy. But it’s exactly how he says. When you let go that’s when true peace comes. When you don’t expect or force yourself to sleep or care if you sleep that’s when sleeps happens. You have to face the fear of not sleeping to teach your brain it’s ok. Then the brain will back off and allow sleep. It really is exactly how he says. For me personally work was a trigger. Not being able to drive or function at work. But I have went to work with little to no sleep and yes I was tired but I survived. I always did and always will. So when my brain saw that it let go basically. Now I don’t care much if I don’t sleep because there’s no fear behind it anymore. I hope this makes sense. And your at the right place just listen to what Daniel says.
@@Freydis_MAximus Also I would like to add that the fear and racing thoughts at night are what makes things worst. I recently took a flight at 7am and didn’t sleep allllll night before the flight till the night of the flight which was 11pm. And I felt tired at times but it wasn’t bad at all, the sleepiness actually when away on its own too because I was active , having fun , on vacation. I wasn’t having racing thoughts about sleep or how will I function. I went with the flow. It’s really just all in our head ❤️
Side note: I still have thoughts of “what if I don’t sleep” or sometimes I want to catch myself falling asleep.. but I just let the thoughts pass by. When you react that’s when it gets worst and your brain thinks it’s a threat which may lead you on a loophole all over. I know those thoughts might not go away fully but I’m okay with that and I think that’s where true peace comes in 🫶🏼
Hi Daniel I’ve been in this pattern for the past 2 weeks of zero hours sleep followed by a few hours the next night. The day after zero hours sleep I feel so physically sick and an emotional wreck I can’t function properly even though I try to go about my day as normal. Then I sleep maybe 4/5 hrs that night and the next day I feel ok and full of energy and a bit hyper so by the time bedtime comes around again I do not feel one bit sleepy and have a sleepless night yet again and the whole cycle starts again. I’ve watched this video and I still don’t understand why this keeps happening????
Hi Kerry, there may be a video that is even more of a fit - insomnia insight 504, hope it will clarify
Hi Daniel i've been sleepy very well these days and im not taking one of my meds because i had a side Effect that scared me that i told my doctor if i could stop the use of that med so he let me and im sleeping good but i dont really know why i always have a headache since i stop that med but the thing is that im sleeping like 7he and i dont know where they come from
Hi Joan! Really glad you’re sleeping well! And you know, a lot of times when people ask about headaches or fatigue even after sleeping well, the most important is to see that many things have nothing to do with sleep. This keeps you from starting to wonder if there’s a problem with sleep which so easily leads to some trouble...
It’s important of course to talk to your doctor, this said often pain acts like insomnia in a sense that the more we investigate and ponder the stronger it gets, and the more we go towards being willing to experience discomfort, the lighter it gets...
Thanks for sharing and for being in touch!!
I've been struggling with insomnia for many years, but lately it's become unbearable: three hours per night, three hours being awake and then one back to sleep. I can't focus on my studying schedule, I can't concentrate on things that require effort. Dragging myself in the world with Relentless tiredness.
Elion, so sorry to read this but I’m glad you found the channel. I think you’ll find so much here that can help. A good place to start can be the success stories playlist (link in description), there you’ll hear people share how they were in your place and now aren’t struggling... hang in there!!
Hi
How’s your sleep now?
Many times I am not anxious at all and I will be half-asleep yet I don’t drift into actual sleep. Like a meditative state. What is that about?
Hi Dominic,
I call this trailing insomnia. It can often seem odd that you don’t sleep even though you’re not anxious. Of course it does because if anxiety was the reason you had trouble sleeping, then when it fades you should sleep right?
Here’s the thing, anything that makes us hyperaroused can keep sleep from happening. Imagine a kid before Christmas for example. They’re excited, not anxious.
You know what else can create hyperarousal? Curiousity! Or puzzlement, being bewildered.
So when you’re thinking “I’m not anxious so why am I not sleeping?” the answer is right there. It’s now the curiosity that’s keeping you awake!
A natural next question becomes, so how do I become less curious? Guess what, you probably already have. Because when you understand something, there’s no mystery and less for the brain to figure out.
But the best of all is that you’re less anxious. That may not seem like a big step right now because you slept little, but it is.
As the anxiety fades and you’re no longer puzzled, sleep will come to you!
@@thesleepcoachschool8192 I can definitely relate to this a lot. I tend to have nights where I don't feel anxious about sleep anymore but I still don't sleep. It often feels like I'm still hyperaware about sleep though, not from anxiety point of view but curiosity of what will happen, will I sleep or not, am I making progress etc. Usually after a couple of nights like this my anxiety comes creeping back in that I will never recover and that somehow my insomnia is different because I'm not making any further progress. So it's sort of a cycle I've been stuck in for the last month and a half after the first initial progress. Not sure how to get out of this "curiosity" attitude to sleep and going to bed excited to see the outcome even when I'm not anxious about it and sort of more in acceptance state, but curious about what will happen, which just keeps me in hyperaware state. Sorry for all the comments recently, but I've just been binging on all videos trying to educate myself more as I feel a bit stuck in my progress. Also I'm very much struggling with the win/lose attitude that you describe in the videos even on non-anxious days, despite knowing it's not helpful.
@@majafilipovic1392 I experience this too! I didn't feel anxious last night, but slept very poorly. I think it was the curiosity/hope that I would sleep since I wasn't feeling anxious, which then made me hyperaroused. Have you been able to get un-stuck?
How are you doing
@@Sophie10925still a wreck
For me the morning shifts suck. I cant do it. If i dont sleep at night i feel useless and non functional at work. It gives me anxiety knowing i have to wake up early. But its hard finding afternoon shifts, and, i need money 😢 i dont know what to do.
Right... no meaning.. instead of thinking I'm failing. The win or lose things creates so much shame 😢
Thanks for your comment!! Just a quick heads-up: we're hosting live Q&A sessions most weeks and we'd love for you to join us! It's a great chance to ask questions, share insights, and connect with others in the community.
I also struggle with insomnia and I have a question. Can this lack of sleep influence my grades and studying for exams, because that is my main worry.And also can there be a full recovery from insomnia or is it not possible?
Hi! Sorry to hear about the struggle but glad you’re here. Executive function is actually well preserved even when we sleep little. For example studies have shown that there’s no difference in surgical outcome whether the surgeon had slept little or not. And you know, there’s really no “recovery” because there’s nothing to recover from! Insomnia is just a misunderstanding, when the brain is taught that there’s nothing to fear, the struggle ends!
@@thesleepcoachschool8192 Hey mate, i want to say that i love your approach "Set it & Forget it" but one caveat i have is that i sorta _dislike_ your general response to questions like this guy's, cause, my therapist used to use this term called "toxic positivity" once. there is something to be said about saying that insomnia is not as bad as some people make it out to be - especially in the insomniac community. but to say that "there's nothing wrong" and "nothing to recover from" is kind of a blanket lie and serves only to confuse the otherwise impressionable viewer imo. bc, just like when playing a video game certain rational thinking needs to be entertained to make the world relatable the same can be said about sleep advice. if you have a fantasy universe where nothing makes sense then it is hard to make sense of anything. the reason ppl get stuck in this positive feedback loop is bc they KNOW that sleep is very important and not having it is detrimental - hence why they obsess over it. my unsolicited advice is that you should pitch ppl testimony from ppl that recovered from severe, long-term insomnia, there are also studies which show that normal function returns in most respects thereafter, etc. but to tell a burn victim that he hasn't been burned is not a show of support
@Retrofire-47 so glad you found it helpful and also for pointing to this way I teach that may not resonate with everyone… I’m so aware of it and maybe I’ll do a special episode on this sometime… oh and we do have many testimonies, many from people with years of insomnia, if you haven’t see those maybe take a look. Appreciate your input very much 🙏
@@thesleepcoachschool8192 i was kind of hypercritical of you here - i see waves from your approach helping ppl across the diaspora of insomnia communities. thank you.
i had a single question: do you think your "Set it & Forget it" philosophy is helpful for someone with OCD? i know the worst thing for OCD is to "not think about the purple elephant" cause that makes you think about it even more...
everything else has helped me greatly. but i resolved to the fact that i need to cultivate a more positive relationship with my sleep - instead of "forgetting it". that seemed to hurt me,
@Retrofire-47 appreciate these words very much, and glad you’re seeing that there’s been much value to the communities.
I think it can help, it’s an easy read and the philosophy is much about letting go, which I think can help in many aspects of life, including when we have OCD. With this said, there’s also some things in S&F it that I see a bit differently now.
If there’s one book that may be more helpful for you, it probably would be This is Natto because it talks about how the principles of how we meet insomnia can be helpful in other aspects, other struggles.
Hope this helps and be in touch!
I sleep good now but my brain is still foggy and it hurts, and I also have an attention deficit
Marco! Glad to read you’re sleeping well! Sometimes there can be what I call post arousal fatigue.
Imagine this person playing a competitive game of basketball. They are really into it, adrenaline is pumping in the heart is beating fast.
If you ask the person right at that moment how they feel, they will say that they are probably not particularly tired.
When they sit down however, they may suddenly feel really tired. This is because that adrenaline is no longer in the system and they truly feel how tired they were.
In other words, when you are hyper aroused, your fatigue is masked. It is the same thing when it comes to insomnia.
When you were spending a lot of time thinking about sleep, when you are struggling with sleep, when you’re hyperaroused, your fatigue is masked.
When you start becoming less worried, when stress hormones go down, that fatigue becomes unmasked. You now fully feel how tired you really are.
Although unpleasant, it’s a good sign! It’s a sign that you’re becoming less afraid. And after some time, when you’ve slept better and the struggle has faded even more, you’ll feel refreshed again.
I notice that too!!! Even if I slept well at night if I'm thinking all day about sleep problems and lay down doing nothing the fog in my head is there ! But when I do something else or something that I love I don't notice it !!
Hello Daniel it's me again it's it okay to miss a 24 hour nap because some days I never sleep at all
Can this be due to insomnia or sleep deprived?
Hi!
You know, I think this can answer the question!
Sleep deprivation happens when someone does not have enough opportunity for sleep. For example someone who is working two jobs and has small children and they literally only have let’s say four hours allotted for sleep. They will sleep very easily, they will fall sleep very easily and they will sleep throughout those four hours and when the alarm goes off they will easily sleep more but they can’t because of obligations!
Insomnia on the other hand is when sleep doesn’t happen even if you have opportunity for sleep. It happens when we wonder why we don’t sleep, when we’re trying to sleep, when we worry about what will happen if we don’t sleep, when we think about our health and how our health is affected if we don’t sleep.
So if sleep happens very easily and there’s no struggle whatsoever with sleep, then there may be some sleep deprivation. If sleep is a struggle on the other hand and that is insomnia.
It is also good to know that neither, sleeping little or having insomnia, neither has ever been shown to cause any health problems! So for example being awake for 24 hours has not been shown to cause any health issues!
@@thesleepcoachschool8192 thank you soo much Daniel I already sub to your channel I will ask again if something happens about my sleep 😁
@@thesleepcoachschool8192 Hello Daniel again I mean to ask this it's it normal for us teens to get these sleepless nights or inability to sleep it's just make me nervous for some reason if your wondering I'm only 17
Anytime! And thanks for the support 😊
Hi! You know, I’ll say that almost everyone has a notion that their case is special. Sometimes it’s a women nervous because she’s in menopause. Sometimes it’s a person who has just come off a medication. There are all kinds of reasons we think “maybe it’s different in my case”. What I respond here is that we are all unique and special people (!) but insomnia is always the same! It happens in all ages and all circumstances, nothing special about it. Knowing that there’s nothing special about having a sleepless night can take a lot of worries away which is nice 😁