I have Daniel to thank for my journey of overcoming not just insomnia but anxiety in general to be more in my body again and not worry. I remember my first video and how relieved I was!!! May god bless you many times over for helping people Daniel
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Just hearing someone dealing with this for eight months has me feeling so hopeless. I'm not worried about work, just worried I won't be able to sleep... Man this is for the birds.
Great advice. I suffer from overactive thinking and rumination, using sleep music I create is working but adding CBT to my sleep routine makes so much sense. Thanks for the info. 🕉🐵
This channel is a vital requirement for all us out there struggling - thanks Daniel. I too have had ‘yo yoing’ whilst implementing CBTI stimulus control. Currently in the midst of a bad stretch BUT stick with it. Like a muscle your building, it doesn’t happen overnight (pun intended) but with persistent use I’m seeing changes. Sounds like you’re on the right track, keep pushing through, you’ll get there.
One tip I have based on my ongoing journey is to try and consciously differentiate in your mind the gap that is sleep. To register in your mind the yesterday from today, last night from today’s morning, sleep initiation from waking up. This I find helps in a weird way to not feel as if day and night is the same flat line, so you won’t feel that much as if you’re constantly in the same restless state. In other words try to register it in your mind as white and black, day is white night is black. I know this may make no sense at all but there you go.
Hi! You know, anything that takes you towards less interest and preoccupation, more freedom and a shift in focus... this truly helps. And I’ve heard many times that when the night is over, you make a distinction between it meaning you don’t analyze, don’t give it any meaning, it’s just over and a day begins, this can help!
Omgosh! This is very, very helpful! I fall asleep, but wake up each night which is disruptive to my sleep and I was really wondering how to handle it, because I was going by the 30/30 rule of if you’re in bed for more than 30 minutes get up for 30 minutes and go read a book. The issue I had with that is, if I’m supposed to disregard the time how am I to know when to get up, go back to bed, etc. It just felt more stressful for me. What you said about just going by feeling and also if you wake and can go along w/ a pleasant feeling stay in bed is PERFECT. The times I’ve done that and/or use my positive sleep thoughts I’m able to fall back asleep. The times I can’t are the times I get stressed and lose even more sleep.
AL I’m so so happy this made sense 😁 and yup exactly the issue you describe with having to monitor time makes the 30/30 or 20/20 rules it so unhelpful really.. welcome to the channel and thanks much for commenting!!
This is the first time listening to your channel, and am grateful. My insomnia started 3 years ago, because of an intrusive thought that scared me the moment my head hit the pillow, I don’t really have the thought any more, but position myself to sleep like I used to. The difference is I noticed when I was falling asleep. I knew it. I don’t get that feeling anymore. If I sleep it’s just something that happens. It’s very hard on the body.
Hi Martha and welcome 🤗 So glad you found us and your story is very familiar. As you learn more I’m sure you’ll see things get easier and easier. Be in touch!
Daniel what do you do when you’re following your sleep window, relaxing on the couch to the degree your eyes are closing and you absolutely could fall asleep in minutes but on the couch. So you’re ready for bed, but that short walk from the couch to the bed you feel alertness or underlying anxiety creeping in then voila, that uncontrollably sleepiness disappears?
Omg I get that as soon as I turn the TV off to doze off. I'll be up watching TV, and start dozing off while watching it, so I turn the TV off and try to sleep, but as soon as that TV goes off, my brain and heart throw a damn party 😂😂😫😫. It pisses me off so bad. I was literally just sleep, and all I did was turn the TV off, then my brain is like SIKE, IM WIDE AWAKE, AND MS. HEART IS THROWING AN UPBEAT PARTY UNTIL THE SUN COMES UP 😠😖. I can't take it anymore.
I have exactly the same problem. I fell drowsy and yawning but when i go to bed, within 15 mins i am wide awake. I get out of bed several times before I can fall asleep very later almost early morning and get only 3-4 hours of sleep.
Hi there! Sorry to hear this has been happening, but glad you found the channel. Check out Insomnia insight 330, it explains why this happens when sleepiness seems to vanish. And what you also describe we call surrender sleep, that’s when you finally sleep when you’ve given up and no longer try. This is a really good teaching point, because when even in the evening you “give up” and don’t try to sleep - that’s when sleep comes to you! Let us know how things go!
Stimulus control has two parts, in my view. The part where you get out of bed. No problem here. Then the problem begins. What do you do with yourself that will make you more prone to fall and stay asleep ? What activity can do the job that 19 hours awake, 1 hour exercising and a full day walking around, doing yard work, cooking, doing dishes, cleaning the house won't do ? Oh, add to that, worry journal and little bit of mindfulness. What is the icing on the cake ? I have heard many suggestions: read, organize your sock draw, alphabetize your beer coaster collection, etc. What can possibly interest you at 3 am ? Besides,won't anything that engages your brain wake you up further, expose your mind to worries ?
Hello Coach Daniel. I find myself really lucky to come across your channel on my insomnia-recovering journey. I have been struggling with early awakenings for roughly 2 month. Although I've tried Kirkland Sleep Aid, which made me feel really exhausted whenever I wake up, I find myself constantly waking up really early (around 3-4 a.m). Sometimes I just fall asleep after a few minutes of waking up, but sometimes I find it kinda hard to do so. I tested my blood sugar levels, and it turned out totally fine. I occasionally take naps. Initially, I suffered from delayed sleep syndrome, but after limiting my time in bed and sticking to a consistent sleep schedule, my condition improved a little bit but then switched to early awakenings. Currently, my intial symptoms, which is difficulty falling asleep, is creeping back. Please give me some advice about this. I'm looking forward to seeing your reply. Thank you!
@@thesleepcoachschool8192 I watched your video but cannot figure out how to make my sleep drive much stronger at 10-ish p.m instead of 3-4 am. right now. I tried to limit my siestas as much as possible and stick to a routine (go to bed at 10.30 p.m and get up at. 7a.m) but still struggle to fall asleep.
@@thesleepcoachschool8192 I watched your video but still cannot figure out how to shift my circadian rhythm from falling asleep at 3-4 a.m to falling asleep at 11-ish p.m. Please give me your advice!
The problem I have sometimes is I can feel really tired, then the minuet I hit the pillow, I start thinking instead of drifting into sleep and then I’m stuck awake.
After having chronic insomnia for about 8 months, I’m several months in of having relatively normal sleep, and not clock watching helps. However I have two questions as I am someone who struggles initially getting to sleep as opposed to waking up at night: Any tips for people who are almost scared to sleep ( like the people who struggle with the idea of just shutting off without knowing when) I have one day at work in which I have to wake up at 5 (as opposed to 7-8 normally). I never seem to sleep on this day/shift, any tips for that???? Thank you
I am afraid for my life, Im only 24 and feel like my life is being ruined. How will I achieve things in life when I cant even sleep well? I would not wish this on my worst enemy
Hang in there Mohammed! You know it may seem impossible, but when you see that you can do things even after not having slept much or at all, then the fear starts fading. And then sleep happens a little easier. And then it’s easier to do things you like during the day. And soon the spiral is reversed and the struggle is over. You’ll get there!
Help I am so worried about myself, I am only gaining 1-2 hours of sleep everyday and its not a deep sleep, its been 3 days and I am now feeling nauseous and I had a lot of hypnic jerks, Im starting to worry that what if I got FFI/SFI Im scared😭
Hi Dwyt, sorry to hear but, I think you can learn a bunch on this channel that will help! Go to any new video and check the description. There you’ll find links to several playlists. Check the one on SFi and the one on hypnic jerks, I think those are great starting points. Hang in there!
Hi Daniel, thank you so much for your work. Wondering if you plan to do any videos or can share more advice on the surfers window? This is my biggest struggle. If I don’t fall asleep in an hour, it becomes a panicked all nighter, usually no in between. Please help!
Hi Tiffany, thanks for the kind words 🙏 I didn’t have plans but, it you happen to joins a Wednesday live I’m happy to share more thoughts on this. There’s a video here that talks about it
Anytime, I don’t know where it is exactly but if you browse you’ll find one one the surfers window. For the live, just keep an eye out, I post the live 24 or mor hours beforehand. It will resume next week
Is there such a thing as a ' broken sleep switch?' I understand from other channels that its impossible to 'break' your ability to fall asleep is this true?
Hi- I see that you emphasize letting go and stop trying to fight your awareness/awakeness. However as someone with anxiety and a brain that likes to self sabotage this sounds easier said than done. Any tips? Thx!
Hi Daniel, What if I am laying in bed, relaxed and calm, not worrying about sleep too much, having slow and neutral thoughts...and still can't fall asleep? And I am feeling sleepy, 100% doing sleep hygiene, and although calm still can't fall asleep, how is it even possible?
Hi Nina! It’s because of effort. You’re doing 100% sleep hygiene, the intent of what you’re doing is that you’re trying to sleep. Perhaps not consciously, but there’s no question that you are wanting to sleep, and that’s why sleep isn’t happening! It’s also because you’re waiting, when you’re waiting for anything, it takes forever! Including sleep. And finally, it’s because you’re wondering. Wondering is a form of curiousity/puzzlement which is a common reason sleep isn’t happening. So these are great low hanging fruits, try less, do something you enjoy and lose track of time instead of waiting, and try to direct your curiosity elsewhere - and sleep will happen!
@@thesleepcoachschool8192 you're right, thank you for the insight. What should I do while in bed to fall asleep easily? I find it hard visualisating for some reason, my thoughts start to race as soon as I try to imagine relaxing scenes...although in the morning and daytime I can easily visualize. Sometimes I go to bed and tell myself that I have to intention to sleep,I'm just going to relax (to take pressure off forcing myself to sleep) but still on a very deep subconscious level I know that it's not true,my intention IS to sleep, so it's hard to trick my brain and have no expectations...what should my thoughts be when I'm in bed?
Anytime! And you know, it’s the quest to sleep, looking for a way to fall asleep easily that keeps sleep from happening! So the best is to do these two things: 1. Befriend wakefulness When you’ve had trouble sleeping, the brain starts thinking that being awake is bad, that it’s a problem, that it’s a foe. When you start doing things that are enjoyable, you show the brain that being awake is ok. Then it no longer pushes you to find ways to sleep, and it allows sleep to happen. 2. Go timeless Make a point of not knowing what time it is. Also try to resist the urge to know how long you’ve been awake or how much there’s left until the morning. This is a very powerful way of letting go of control. And when you no longer look for a way to sleep, when you no longer try to control sleep, when you’re fine with being awake or asleep, then those zzzs that have been escaping will come your way!
@@leafsleafsleafs2yes,figured it out and fully back to normal. Very simple solution, just stop fearing insomnia and stop caring about sleep. Fear is what keeps it alive. Watch more of Daniel’s videos to understand it better.
Hi there I have quite the complex issue with my sleep and wonder if you can help me. I am too cold to fall asleep in my apartment I feel chilly under my blanket. I can't get my central air fixed at my apartment and my mini heater doesn't stop cold from getting around it somehow. I feel quite chilly and it's been so cold I can't relax to fall asleep and it's been two days. I use a heat blanket but the wires can felt and it's uncomfortable
Hi Keith, You know, the way we look at things like this is that cold or heat or any discomfort can create sleep disruption, but not insomnia. Not the self perpetuating struggle, that is created by fear of being awake.
Hi Daniel, I’ve heard that looking at your phone and TV close to your bed time can worsen your sleep due to blue light and EMFs. The problem I have is I struggle to get ready for sleep if I’m not watching my phone or TV, as I find myself bored and wanting to be stimulated, rather than feel tired and sleep. What I would like to ask is, is it overall okay for your sleep hygiene to watch your screens before bed in order to feel sleepy, or should I somehow find a way to be able to sleep without any electronics and hour or so before bed(Which I don’t feel is possible for me at this stage) Kindest regards.
Hi Ryan! nsomnia comes from a place of trying to control something we feel we have lost control over- sleep. And like a bar of soap, the more we try to control it, the more slippery it becomes. What can be tricky to see is that sleeping well is a product of not trying to control sleep. Someone who sleeps well, by not trying to control sleep, teaches the brain that there’s no problem or threat or risk of losing control. This is why sleep hygiene is soo problematic! It’s basically a laundry list of dos and don’ts that implies that you can control sleep. As you can imagine it becomes this rabbit hole of trying more and sleeping less! Not only this, when we avoid screens for example, we give up autonomy and insomnia takes a bigger part of our lives. Oh and it can feel like a punishment to which doesn’t help! So the most helpful is to do what you like to do without regard to how it will affect your sleep. That’s abandoning attempts at controlling sleep and it then happens by itself! Hope this helps!
Hey again Daniel. I’m back again to ask the same question I asked this morning. For the past two nights now I’ve been sleeping in 30mins-1hour intervals. Before this I was having extremely vivid dreams every night for weeks leading up to this. Idk what’s wrong with me at this point. I just got like maybe 45 mins of sleep and am up again worrying. My meds will make me drowsy but sometimes don’t even work all together. Help me please. I am genuinely worried for my life now. Somebody told me this could be called rem rebound? Does this sound similar. I haven’t gotten more than an hour of consistent sleep in 2 days. I will fall asleep but not stay asleep for more than 30mins now.i I think It may just be a case of REALLLLY bad anxiety because I always have a racing heart before and after I fall asleep. I’m only 17 and worried for my life.
Hi Lucci! I know Coach Michael will talk about your comment later today - I hope this will be very helpful. I always want to say that when anybody is worried about their health, they have to talk to their doctor! This said, there’s nothing unusual or strange about what you describe here! When somebody is hyper aroused, which means that they are in this heightened level of awareness and alertness, all kinds of bizarre things can happen. You will have vivid dreams, you will wake up often. Sometimes it will feel like time skips ahead. Sometimes he will have fast breathing and palpitations. Sometimes you will have jerks and tingling’s. Sometimes he will have tinnitus. Sometimes your eyes will hurt. All kinds of things happen when we are in the hyper arousal state. Now the confusing thing is that the desire to understand what’s happening, wondering what is going on, looking for a solution, trying things to change sleep, all that attention is what is driving the hyper arousal! In other words, it’s the problem solving that is the problem. When someone says OK I understand, I’m just anxious and that is what’s causing all of this then they are in a position where they can start learning. And when they learn about sleep and insomnia, they worry less. And when they worry less, they were less hyper aroused. And then good sleep starts happening! I think if you spend some time looking through the videos here and the playlists you will learn a lot that will be super helpful. Also tune in to the episode tonight and let us know what you thought!
Hi Daniel I have not yet read your book yet but I would love to read it. I would like to ask: I am trying to follow CBT-1. My sleep window is 11 pm to 4:00 am. But I feel sleepy 2 to 3 hours before 11 am due to previous one or two sleepiness nights and then I go to sleep. Then I wake up like 3:15 am instead of 4 am. The next day when I tried to go to sleep at 11 pm I am unable to sleep the whole night and may be the night that follows. I have some anxiety while on the bed. Can you suggest something? Appreciate Arshed
Hi Ghulam! Thanks for commenting and for the interest in my book 😁 You know, throughout the years I’ve come to see that there are some problems with CBTi. Here’s what I think is a better way. The sleep window is really there simply as a nudge towards less attachment. It is a way to sort of make yourself try less and let go of attempts at controlling sleep. There is often confusion about the main purpose. In traditional CBT there’s a lot of emphasis on making yourself stay awake for a long time so you feel sleepy. It is true that sleep drive is important, but anything you do to make yourself sleep becomes an effort! This includes making yourself stay up late! Remember, insomnia is not a problem of not being sleepy, it is a problem of trying too much to sleep. So the way to think of the sleep window is that it is simply a nudge in the direction of trying less. When you give yourself less time for sleep, and you no longer know the time at night, these again are important psychological steps towards trying less, being willing to have less control. What exact time you get up or what exact time you go to bed doesn’t really matter! What does matter is not focusing too much on the time. It’s also important to set it and forget it. Decide upon sometime and then don’t question it. This will free your mind to think about more pleasant things! In fact what also helps a lot is not knowing the time at night. Deciding what time to get up in the morning and then making a decision to stop checking the time at a certain time in the evening. Not knowing the time is a very powerful way of letting go of control! Finally, I think it’s important to be generous and to go a gentle path of no pressure. Is very tempting to say that you will have a very narrow sleep window so that you feel really sleepy and then you reach your goal faster. But that’s a way of pressure! Think about when people try to lose weight. The reason most people don’t do well is because they choose an extreme diet that they can’t stick to for more than a few weeks. It’s the same with sleep windows. Many people choose a really tight window and then they become frustrated and pressured because it’s not something they can do forever. If someone decides not to do a diet but rather change their lifestyle to something they can do forever, then there’s no pressure! Then they lose weight easily. If you choose a sleep window that’s for example 7 hours, that’s pretty close to what most people do anyway so you can do that indefinitely. That’s the way! Oh and also not knowing the time or tracking time or how much you slept, this helps a ton as well 👍
@@thesleepcoachschool8192 Thanks much. One thing I noted is that by the time I reached closed to my sleep window, my sleep drive is weakened and then it becomes difficult to sleep.
Hi Ghulam, You know, this is part of what we call the Houdini effect. It’s actually not that the sleep drive decreases, it’s that hyperarousal masks it. - One of the most common puzzling experiences is that you can go from feeling sleepy to suddenly not feeling sleep at all! You can literally be having a hard time keeping your eyes open and the moment you go to bed you’re wide awake. When this happens, it seems like sleepiness has vanished, like sleepiness disappeared. But in reality, that is not what happened. It is simply that hyper arousal has increased and it’s masking the sleepiness. In the evening, when you are actually wanting to be awake, sleepiness is experienced because you’re not resisting being awake. But the moment you want to sleep, in that moment you also don’t want to be awake, and that alerts the brain and makes you wide awake! The sleepiness didn’t disappear, it was simply masked by hyperarousal. Now it is important to know that this is completely normal. Imagine that you were really sleepy and then suddenly realized that your oven was on, then you do want to become very alert immediately for safety reasons! Why this happens for no particular obvious reason when you have trouble sleeping is the subtle change of your state of mind when you go to bed. When you want to sleep, that means that you don’t want to be awake, which means that being awake is a threat. And just like the oven being on immediately wakes you up, so does thinking “what if wakefulness comes!”, and that is why you immediately feel awake! So what should you do if you’re having this Houdini effect? Just being aware is really all needed! Because when you understand it, then there’s no mystery. And when there’s no mystery, you worry less and less and eventually it doesn’t happen any more! - Hope this helps!
@@thesleepcoachschool8192 That's a very subtle and paradoxical. Our mind is a complex machine and we need to understand it somehow. Your suggestion is very helpful and illuminating. Thanks much! God bless you as you help people in their misery.
Hi Daniel - I hope you are well. During my concussion recovery I very recently had a setback which put me in the “red zone” as my physiotherapist calls it. I had so many setbacks that eventually my nervous system sort of went on major high alert saying “this is too much!” One of the first things this impacted was sleep. Over the past two weeks since the setback happened I have developed insomnia is again. My mental health has taken a significant downturn because my nervous system is just on overwhelmed. My physio and doctor have recommended putting me on an SSRI to get out of this place. I know that the only thing to produce sleep is sleepiness and I thought that perhaps I should connect with you about your thoughts on this situation (no medical advice of course) first. Thank you so much.
Hi DC, Thanks so much for being in touch and you know, I think there’s so much we can learn from sleep that applies to pain or recovery as well. Now on the specific question of medications, I think what matters is how we think about things. If we think of a medication the same way we think of a vitamin - something we take as an act of self love, something we won’t ascribe progress to (when it comes to sleep all progress comes from you, from the inside!), without any criticism, something we would be fine taking indefinitely, then there’s no problem. Because there’s no friction, it’s just an act of self care.
@@thesleepcoachschool8192 thank you Daniel, this makes sense and I know you’ve explained it before so it’s a helpful reminder. I was doing very well just before the setback a few weeks ago. If you don’t mind me asking a quick followup: the setback led to a state of hyperarousal which has led to anxiety & racing thoughts at night and from there insomnia. So taking anything would be for the purpose of reducing this hyperarousal in order to sleep better. My understanding is that that would not be the right intention. If we are experiencing hyperarousal, how do we deal with that? Just by observing it?
Anytime!! So glad it made sense and you know, I can see you have so much insight which is fantastic! I see things like this as well, that anything we do to escape hyperarousal makes it stronger because it’s a signal. So here’s I think a real nice explanation with some practical tips! - Our brains communicate with us using various signals. Worry thoughts are signals intended to make us safe from a potential threat. Anxiety is a signal that there’s something we should look out for that may potentially hurt us. Pain signals to us that we are getting hurt and we should do something to avoid harm. All our emotions and physical sensations are signals. Now there’s never anything wrong with the signal itself. For example if someone is afraid of spiders, the fear is totally appropriate, because the brain thinks that there’s a real threat. Now what happens often however is that we start looking at the signals as the problem, not seeing that it’s the confusion that is what we should look at! For example, we may start to think that anxiety (a signal) is something that we shouldn’t have so much of. Then what happens is that we try to get away from this signal, which to the brain means… we aren’t hearing the signal! What does the brain do when we aren’t hearing? It sends more of the signal! Now the question becomes this - the signals often are very unpleasant (which is of course the point!) so how to have less signal? It’s to show the brain that we hear the signal. We do this by being willing to experience the discomfort without judgement, without trying to make it stop, just acknowledging it without action. When the brain sees that we are hearing the signal, it stops signaling! So how can we listen in practical reality? Here are three ways! 1 Thought download Write your thoughts and feelings down for 10 minutes daily at a specific time. With no intention but to show the brain we are listening. This can really give the brain an outlet and you can find that it starts postponing warning you until this time. 2 Going there in the mind Imagine the scenario the brain is trying to warn you about. This is a bit scary, but really shows that you’re listening! For example if the brain says “what if I you get fired?” then you can imagine this in detail. The call from your boss, leaving the work place etc. When we are willing to experience something if even just in our minds, then the brain sees that we listen. 3 The Aha method I think this is very practical and effective. When you have a stressful thought you go “Aha! My brain is trying to warn be about losing my job. I see what’s happening here” or “Aha! My bear is racing, that’s normal and expected when there’s some fear!” Literally any thoughts or emotions or physical sensations of hyperarousal can be met with an “Aha!”. It’s a very practical way of listening. - Did this make sense DC?
@@thesleepcoachschool8192 thank you daniel! This is very helpful. I love the aha tool. So useful. If you find that you’re waking up around roughly the same time every night and then in and out of sleep for the remainder, is that sort of residual hyperarousal that will just fade on it’s own?
Anytime! So glad it makes sense 😊 And yes, that’s exactly how I see it. Some residual hyperarousal that fades when we are ok with having some residual hyperarousal and choppy sleep the latter part, yes!
Hello, I have insomnia for 4 years I have tried CBT-I without success I always get up at the same time and all the basic recommendations, the truth is that I am not afraid of not sleeping, I do not think about the negative consequences of not sleeping and if I will perform or not the next day, even though I am tired and very sleepy it is as if my mind does not allow me to fall asleep and when I do my mind sends muscle spasms to wake me up and I spend the whole night without sleeping, is this normal? thank you very much
Hi RVA, Sorry to hear you had trouble for this long. But do you know that many many many in this community have the same experience with CBT. Problem is basically that anything with an attempt to control sleep leads to more struggle. And CBT is very focused on trying to control sleep. Listen to the success stories in the success stories playlist what you find in the description. I think you’ll find a lot there that can be really helpful and hear stories about other people that have been where you are now!
The sad thing about insomnia is that its treated differently than manic insomnia. when im manic, i have to go to bed even though im not tired. with insomnia, you have to go to bed when you feel tired.
It’s not a one size fits all process what you teach is a gentle and most effective way to deal with a personal pace and being ok with the racing mind. To sit with it be with it not run and hide and force a shut eye which never works. Somatic work this comes right under the entire library of somatic therapy far more simple yet far more powerful then any other drug or “hack” don’t ever try hacks they don’t work they may help here and there but this work by Daniel has helped me so much and I also discovered work by Irene Lyon in the process.which helped with all other aspects of stress and anxiety Like feeling my feet when I walk engage with my environment allowing the feelings to come and go and breathe through them. We often over look how to regulate our body and mind and jump to meds or breath work or some Spiritual high. All can bypass the importance of how animals work through trauma and stress we after all have lost all connection to the jungle and don’t connect with our environment the way we should.
Hi Daniel I’m cara. And my problem is falling asleep and staying asleep. I need help and would really like to share more with you. Do you have an email ? Thanks.
Hi Cara, Sorry to hear this has been happening but glad you found the channel. You know, I’m very happy to answer questions here in the comments. And if you’d like some more support, check out our website www.thesleepcoachschool.com and you can hopefully find an option that works for you. Hang in there! Oh and by the way, there are two playlists that I think are great places to start: This is natto - the perfect place to start learning! ruclips.net/p/PL6RQ1GS7B1cik8Xr8iVdxmKB9FYieevYj Success stories - if you need hope and inspiration, this is for you. ruclips.net/p/PL6RQ1GS7B1cj68v9hdoXYv_fpOR65oI3U
Thanks for the info Daniel. I’m very anxious when it comes to sleep. Mostly because I think about the harms of sleep deprivation one of which is premature aging.
Anytime Cara, and you know… there are so many myths out there… reality is that there’s no evidence at all that sleep deprivation causes premature aging, oh and sleep deprivation is completely different from insomnia as well. Check out Talking insomnia #58 with Betul, she talks about how people didn’t even know she struggled. Insomnia insight 388 can also help, it’s about appearance insomnia!
I have Daniel to thank for my journey of overcoming not just insomnia but anxiety in general to be more in my body again and not worry. I remember my first video and how relieved I was!!! May god bless you many times over for helping people Daniel
Thank you for your heartfelt words! We want to assure you that your comments are seen and deeply appreciated. We're grateful that the message resonated with you and that it's contributing to a meaningful conversation. Your support means a lot, and we're glad it made sense to you. 💙
Just hearing someone dealing with this for eight months has me feeling so hopeless. I'm not worried about work, just worried I won't be able to sleep... Man this is for the birds.
Hi Steve, hang in there and you know check the playlists!
How u doing now bro
I LOVE the idea of ignoring the clock and going with instinct. It takes the pressure off.
Going to implement that tonight.
The timeless way!! I believe it is really helpful, so glad you see it the same way. Thanks much for sharing and let us know how things go!!
Great advice. I suffer from overactive thinking and rumination, using sleep music I create is working but adding CBT to my sleep routine makes so much sense. Thanks for the info. 🕉🐵
Anytime! Thanks for being here 😊
This channel is a vital requirement for all us out there struggling - thanks Daniel. I too have had ‘yo yoing’ whilst implementing CBTI stimulus control. Currently in the midst of a bad stretch BUT stick with it. Like a muscle your building, it doesn’t happen overnight (pun intended) but with persistent use I’m seeing changes. Sounds like you’re on the right track, keep pushing through, you’ll get there.
One tip I have based on my ongoing journey is to try and consciously differentiate in your mind the gap that is sleep. To register in your mind the yesterday from today, last night from today’s morning, sleep initiation from waking up. This I find helps in a weird way to not feel as if day and night is the same flat line, so you won’t feel that much as if you’re constantly in the same restless state. In other words try to register it in your mind as white and black, day is white night is black. I know this may make no sense at all but there you go.
Hi! You know, anything that takes you towards less interest and preoccupation, more freedom and a shift in focus... this truly helps. And I’ve heard many times that when the night is over, you make a distinction between it meaning you don’t analyze, don’t give it any meaning, it’s just over and a day begins, this can help!
Omgosh! This is very, very helpful! I fall asleep, but wake up each night which is disruptive to my sleep and I was really wondering how to handle it, because I was going by the 30/30 rule of if you’re in bed for more than 30 minutes get up for 30 minutes and go read a book. The issue I had with that is, if I’m supposed to disregard the time how am I to know when to get up, go back to bed, etc. It just felt more stressful for me. What you said about just going by feeling and also if you wake and can go along w/ a pleasant feeling stay in bed is PERFECT. The times I’ve done that and/or use my positive sleep thoughts I’m able to fall back asleep. The times I can’t are the times I get stressed and lose even more sleep.
AL I’m so so happy this made sense 😁 and yup exactly the issue you describe with having to monitor time makes the 30/30 or 20/20 rules it so unhelpful really.. welcome to the channel and thanks much for commenting!!
This is very. Helpful. Thank you.
Sandy, thanks so much!
This is the first time listening to your channel, and am grateful. My insomnia started 3 years ago, because of an intrusive thought that scared me the moment my head hit the pillow, I don’t really have the thought any more, but position myself to sleep like I used to. The difference is I noticed when I was falling asleep. I knew it. I don’t get that feeling anymore. If I sleep it’s just something that happens. It’s very hard on the body.
Hi Martha and welcome 🤗 So glad you found us and your story is very familiar. As you learn more I’m sure you’ll see things get easier and easier. Be in touch!
Daniel what do you do when you’re following your sleep window, relaxing on the couch to the degree your eyes are closing and you absolutely could fall asleep in minutes but on the couch. So you’re ready for bed, but that short walk from the couch to the bed you feel alertness or underlying anxiety creeping in then voila, that uncontrollably sleepiness disappears?
Hi! I think learning about the Houdini effecting helps so much here. Check episode 330!
Omg I get that as soon as I turn the TV off to doze off. I'll be up watching TV, and start dozing off while watching it, so I turn the TV off and try to sleep, but as soon as that TV goes off, my brain and heart throw a damn party 😂😂😫😫. It pisses me off so bad. I was literally just sleep, and all I did was turn the TV off, then my brain is like SIKE, IM WIDE AWAKE, AND MS. HEART IS THROWING AN UPBEAT PARTY UNTIL THE SUN COMES UP 😠😖. I can't take it anymore.
@annt.7785 hang in there! We called the Houdini effect, search the channel you’ll find more why this happens which I think can really really help
I have exactly the same problem. I fell drowsy and yawning but when i go to bed, within 15 mins i am wide awake. I get out of bed several times before I can fall asleep very later almost early morning and get only 3-4 hours of sleep.
Hi there! Sorry to hear this has been happening, but glad you found the channel. Check out Insomnia insight 330, it explains why this happens when sleepiness seems to vanish. And what you also describe we call surrender sleep, that’s when you finally sleep when you’ve given up and no longer try. This is a really good teaching point, because when even in the evening you “give up” and don’t try to sleep - that’s when sleep comes to you!
Let us know how things go!
Stimulus control has two parts, in my view. The part where you get out of bed. No problem here. Then the problem begins. What do you do with yourself that will make you more prone to fall and stay asleep ? What activity can do the job that 19 hours awake, 1 hour exercising and a full day walking around, doing yard work, cooking, doing dishes, cleaning the house won't do ? Oh, add to that, worry journal and little bit of mindfulness. What is the icing on the cake ? I have heard many suggestions: read, organize your sock draw, alphabetize your beer coaster collection, etc. What can possibly interest you at 3 am ? Besides,won't anything that engages your brain wake you up further, expose your mind to worries ?
I work mind puzzles. They don’t wake you up enough like exercise but keep you distracted enough not to worry about sleep.
Hello Coach Daniel.
I find myself really lucky to come across your channel on my insomnia-recovering journey.
I have been struggling with early awakenings for roughly 2 month. Although I've tried Kirkland Sleep Aid, which made me feel really exhausted whenever I wake up, I find myself constantly waking up really early (around 3-4 a.m). Sometimes I just fall asleep after a few minutes of waking up, but sometimes I find it kinda hard to do so. I tested my blood sugar levels, and it turned out totally fine. I occasionally take naps.
Initially, I suffered from delayed sleep syndrome, but after limiting my time in bed and sticking to a consistent sleep schedule, my condition improved a little bit but then switched to early awakenings. Currently, my intial symptoms, which is difficulty falling asleep, is creeping back.
Please give me some advice about this. I'm looking forward to seeing your reply. Thank you!
So glad you’re here!
This hopefully can help much:
ruclips.net/video/Ap9rAtaEBMA/видео.html
@@thesleepcoachschool8192 I watched your video but cannot figure out how to make my sleep drive much stronger at 10-ish p.m instead of 3-4 am. right now. I tried to limit my siestas as much as possible and stick to a routine (go to bed at 10.30 p.m and get up at. 7a.m) but still struggle to fall asleep.
@@thesleepcoachschool8192 I watched your video but still cannot figure out how to shift my circadian rhythm from falling asleep at 3-4 a.m to falling asleep at 11-ish p.m. Please give me your advice!
The problem I have sometimes is I can feel really tired, then the minuet I hit the pillow, I start thinking instead of drifting into sleep and then I’m stuck awake.
After having chronic insomnia for about 8 months, I’m several months in of having relatively normal sleep, and not clock watching helps.
However I have two questions as I am someone who struggles initially getting to sleep as opposed to waking up at night:
Any tips for people who are almost scared to sleep ( like the people who struggle with the idea of just shutting off without knowing when)
I have one day at work in which I have to wake up at 5 (as opposed to 7-8 normally). I never seem to sleep on this day/shift, any tips for that????
Thank you
I am afraid for my life, Im only 24 and feel like my life is being ruined. How will I achieve things in life when I cant even sleep well? I would not wish this on my worst enemy
Hang in there Mohammed! You know it may seem impossible, but when you see that you can do things even after not having slept much or at all, then the fear starts fading. And then sleep happens a little easier. And then it’s easier to do things you like during the day. And soon the spiral is reversed and the struggle is over. You’ll get there!
Help I am so worried about myself, I am only gaining 1-2 hours of sleep everyday and its not a deep sleep, its been 3 days and I am now feeling nauseous and I had a lot of hypnic jerks, Im starting to worry that what if I got FFI/SFI Im scared😭
Hi Dwyt, sorry to hear but, I think you can learn a bunch on this channel that will help! Go to any new video and check the description. There you’ll find links to several playlists. Check the one on SFi and the one on hypnic jerks, I think those are great starting points. Hang in there!
Hope you’re better.
How are you now
Hi Daniel, thank you so much for your work. Wondering if you plan to do any videos or can share more advice on the surfers window? This is my biggest struggle. If I don’t fall asleep in an hour, it becomes a panicked all nighter, usually no in between. Please help!
Hi Tiffany, thanks for the kind words 🙏 I didn’t have plans but, it you happen to joins a Wednesday live I’m happy to share more thoughts on this. There’s a video here that talks about it
@@thesleepcoachschool8192 thank you Daniel! Not sure which video you are referring to? Also trying to find the schedule for your Wednesday live :) ?
Anytime, I don’t know where it is exactly but if you browse you’ll find one one the surfers window. For the live, just keep an eye out, I post the live 24 or mor hours beforehand. It will resume next week
Is there such a thing as a ' broken sleep switch?' I understand from other channels that its impossible to 'break' your ability to fall asleep is this true?
No such thing, it’s a myth! But thinking there can be one, that causes lots of insomnia!
Hi- I see that you emphasize letting go and stop trying to fight your awareness/awakeness. However as someone with anxiety and a brain that likes to self sabotage this sounds easier said than done. Any tips? Thx!
Hi Lily,
Often seeing that it’s hard makes it easier. It’s when we think it should be easy that it gets harder.
Hi Daniel,
What if I am laying in bed, relaxed and calm, not worrying about sleep too much, having slow and neutral thoughts...and still can't fall asleep? And I am feeling sleepy, 100% doing sleep hygiene, and although calm still can't fall asleep, how is it even possible?
Hi Nina!
It’s because of effort. You’re doing 100% sleep hygiene, the intent of what you’re doing is that you’re trying to sleep. Perhaps not consciously, but there’s no question that you are wanting to sleep, and that’s why sleep isn’t happening!
It’s also because you’re waiting, when you’re waiting for anything, it takes forever! Including sleep.
And finally, it’s because you’re wondering. Wondering is a form of curiousity/puzzlement which is a common reason sleep isn’t happening.
So these are great low hanging fruits, try less, do something you enjoy and lose track of time instead of waiting, and try to direct your curiosity elsewhere - and sleep will happen!
@@thesleepcoachschool8192 you're right, thank you for the insight. What should I do while in bed to fall asleep easily? I find it hard visualisating for some reason, my thoughts start to race as soon as I try to imagine relaxing scenes...although in the morning and daytime I can easily visualize. Sometimes I go to bed and tell myself that I have to intention to sleep,I'm just going to relax (to take pressure off forcing myself to sleep) but still on a very deep subconscious level I know that it's not true,my intention IS to sleep, so it's hard to trick my brain and have no expectations...what should my thoughts be when I'm in bed?
Anytime! And you know, it’s the quest to sleep, looking for a way to fall asleep easily that keeps sleep from happening!
So the best is to do these two things:
1. Befriend wakefulness
When you’ve had trouble sleeping, the brain starts thinking that being awake is bad, that it’s a problem, that it’s a foe. When you start doing things that are enjoyable, you show the brain that being awake is ok. Then it no longer pushes you to find ways to sleep, and it allows sleep to happen.
2. Go timeless
Make a point of not knowing what time it is. Also try to resist the urge to know how long you’ve been awake or how much there’s left until the morning. This is a very powerful way of letting go of control.
And when you no longer look for a way to sleep, when you no longer try to control sleep, when you’re fine with being awake or asleep, then those zzzs that have been escaping will come your way!
Hi Nina have you figured this out
@@leafsleafsleafs2yes,figured it out and fully back to normal. Very simple solution, just stop fearing insomnia and stop caring about sleep. Fear is what keeps it alive. Watch more of Daniel’s videos to understand it better.
Hi there I have quite the complex issue with my sleep and wonder if you can help me. I am too cold to fall asleep in my apartment I feel chilly under my blanket. I can't get my central air fixed at my apartment and my mini heater doesn't stop cold from getting around it somehow. I feel quite chilly and it's been so cold I can't relax to fall asleep and it's been two days. I use a heat blanket but the wires can felt and it's uncomfortable
Hi Keith,
You know, the way we look at things like this is that cold or heat or any discomfort can create sleep disruption, but not insomnia. Not the self perpetuating struggle, that is created by fear of being awake.
Hi Daniel, I’ve heard that looking at your phone and TV close to your bed time can worsen your sleep due to blue light and EMFs. The problem I have is I struggle to get ready for sleep if I’m not watching my phone or TV, as I find myself bored and wanting to be stimulated, rather than feel tired and sleep. What I would like to ask is, is it overall okay for your sleep hygiene to watch your screens before bed in order to feel sleepy, or should I somehow find a way to be able to sleep without any electronics and hour or so before bed(Which I don’t feel is possible for me at this stage)
Kindest regards.
Hi Ryan!
nsomnia comes from a place of trying to control something we feel we have lost control over- sleep.
And like a bar of soap, the more we try to control it, the more slippery it becomes.
What can be tricky to see is that sleeping well is a product of not trying to control sleep. Someone who sleeps well, by not trying to control sleep, teaches the brain that there’s no problem or threat or risk of losing control.
This is why sleep hygiene is soo problematic!
It’s basically a laundry list of dos and don’ts that implies that you can control sleep. As you can imagine it becomes this rabbit hole of trying more and sleeping less!
Not only this, when we avoid screens for example, we give up autonomy and insomnia takes a bigger part of our lives. Oh and it can feel like a punishment to which doesn’t help!
So the most helpful is to do what you like to do without regard to how it will affect your sleep. That’s abandoning attempts at controlling sleep and it then happens by itself!
Hope this helps!
@@thesleepcoachschool8192 That makes a lot of sense, I suspected my sleeping problem was more so psychological. Thank you for the advice :)
Anytime! Glad it made sense 😊
Hey again Daniel. I’m back again to ask the same question I asked this morning. For the past two nights now I’ve been sleeping in 30mins-1hour intervals. Before this I was having extremely vivid dreams every night for weeks leading up to this. Idk what’s wrong with me at this point. I just got like maybe 45 mins of sleep and am up again worrying. My meds will make me drowsy but sometimes don’t even work all together. Help me please. I am genuinely worried for my life now. Somebody told me this could be called rem rebound? Does this sound similar. I haven’t gotten more than an hour of consistent sleep in 2 days. I will fall asleep but not stay asleep for more than 30mins now.i I think It may just be a case of REALLLLY bad anxiety because I always have a racing heart before and after I fall asleep. I’m only 17 and worried for my life.
Hi Lucci!
I know Coach Michael will talk about your comment later today - I hope this will be very helpful.
I always want to say that when anybody is worried about their health, they have to talk to their doctor!
This said, there’s nothing unusual or strange about what you describe here!
When somebody is hyper aroused, which means that they are in this heightened level of awareness and alertness, all kinds of bizarre things can happen. You will have vivid dreams, you will wake up often. Sometimes it will feel like time skips ahead. Sometimes he will have fast breathing and palpitations. Sometimes you will have jerks and tingling’s. Sometimes he will have tinnitus. Sometimes your eyes will hurt. All kinds of things happen when we are in the hyper arousal state.
Now the confusing thing is that the desire to understand what’s happening, wondering what is going on, looking for a solution, trying things to change sleep, all that attention is what is driving the hyper arousal!
In other words, it’s the problem solving that is the problem.
When someone says OK I understand, I’m just anxious and that is what’s causing all of this then they are in a position where they can start learning. And when they learn about sleep and insomnia, they worry less. And when they worry less, they were less hyper aroused. And then good sleep starts happening!
I think if you spend some time looking through the videos here and the playlists you will learn a lot that will be super helpful. Also tune in to the episode tonight and let us know what you thought!
@@thesleepcoachschool8192 you’re a godsend. ❤️
@@shaanmax1721 The best way to stop... never start... hang in there Shaan and thanks a bunch for sharing 🙏
@@hectik5303 hey how u doing now
Hi Daniel
I have not yet read your book yet but I would love to read it.
I would like to ask: I am trying to follow CBT-1. My sleep window is 11 pm to 4:00 am. But I feel sleepy 2 to 3 hours before 11 am due to previous one or two sleepiness nights and then I go to sleep. Then I wake up like 3:15 am instead of 4 am. The next day when I tried to go to sleep at 11 pm I am unable to sleep the whole night and may be the night that follows. I have some anxiety while on the bed. Can you suggest something?
Appreciate
Arshed
Hi Ghulam!
Thanks for commenting and for the interest in my book 😁
You know, throughout the years I’ve come to see that there are some problems with CBTi.
Here’s what I think is a better way.
The sleep window is really there simply as a nudge towards less attachment. It is a way to sort of make yourself try less and let go of attempts at controlling sleep.
There is often confusion about the main purpose. In traditional CBT there’s a lot of emphasis on making yourself stay awake for a long time so you feel sleepy. It is true that sleep drive is important, but anything you do to make yourself sleep becomes an effort! This includes making yourself stay up late!
Remember, insomnia is not a problem of not being sleepy, it is a problem of trying too much to sleep.
So the way to think of the sleep window is that it is simply a nudge in the direction of trying less.
When you give yourself less time for sleep, and you no longer know the time at night, these again are important psychological steps towards trying less, being willing to have less control.
What exact time you get up or what exact time you go to bed doesn’t really matter! What does matter is not focusing too much on the time.
It’s also important to set it and forget it. Decide upon sometime and then don’t question it. This will free your mind to think about more pleasant things!
In fact what also helps a lot is not knowing the time at night. Deciding what time to get up in the morning and then making a decision to stop checking the time at a certain time in the evening.
Not knowing the time is a very powerful way of letting go of control!
Finally, I think it’s important to be generous and to go a gentle path of no pressure.
Is very tempting to say that you will have a very narrow sleep window so that you feel really sleepy and then you reach your goal faster. But that’s a way of pressure!
Think about when people try to lose weight. The reason most people don’t do well is because they choose an extreme diet that they can’t stick to for more than a few weeks.
It’s the same with sleep windows. Many people choose a really tight window and then they become frustrated and pressured because it’s not something they can do forever.
If someone decides not to do a diet but rather change their lifestyle to something they can do forever, then there’s no pressure! Then they lose weight easily.
If you choose a sleep window that’s for example 7 hours, that’s pretty close to what most people do anyway so you can do that indefinitely. That’s the way!
Oh and also not knowing the time or tracking time or how much you slept, this helps a ton as well 👍
@@thesleepcoachschool8192 Thanks much.
One thing I noted is that by the time I reached closed to my sleep window, my sleep drive is weakened and then it becomes difficult to sleep.
Hi Ghulam,
You know, this is part of what we call the Houdini effect. It’s actually not that the sleep drive decreases, it’s that hyperarousal masks it.
-
One of the most common puzzling experiences is that you can go from feeling sleepy to suddenly not feeling sleep at all!
You can literally be having a hard time keeping your eyes open and the moment you go to bed you’re wide awake.
When this happens, it seems like sleepiness has vanished, like sleepiness disappeared. But in reality, that is not what happened. It is simply that hyper arousal has increased and it’s masking the sleepiness.
In the evening, when you are actually wanting to be awake, sleepiness is experienced because you’re not resisting being awake.
But the moment you want to sleep, in that moment you also don’t want to be awake, and that alerts the brain and makes you wide awake!
The sleepiness didn’t disappear, it was simply masked by hyperarousal.
Now it is important to know that this is completely normal. Imagine that you were really sleepy and then suddenly realized that your oven was on, then you do want to become very alert immediately for safety reasons!
Why this happens for no particular obvious reason when you have trouble sleeping is the subtle change of your state of mind when you go to bed. When you want to sleep, that means that you don’t want to be awake, which means that being awake is a threat.
And just like the oven being on immediately wakes you up, so does thinking “what if wakefulness comes!”, and that is why you immediately feel awake!
So what should you do if you’re having this Houdini effect? Just being aware is really all needed!
Because when you understand it, then there’s no mystery. And when there’s no mystery, you worry less and less and eventually it doesn’t happen any more!
-
Hope this helps!
@@thesleepcoachschool8192 That's a very subtle and paradoxical. Our mind is a complex machine and we need to understand it somehow.
Your suggestion is very helpful and illuminating.
Thanks much! God bless you as you help people in their misery.
Hi Daniel - I hope you are well. During my concussion recovery I very recently had a setback which put me in the “red zone” as my physiotherapist calls it. I had so many setbacks that eventually my nervous system sort of went on major high alert saying “this is too much!” One of the first things this impacted was sleep. Over the past two weeks since the setback happened I have developed insomnia is again. My mental health has taken a significant downturn because my nervous system is just on overwhelmed. My physio and doctor have recommended putting me on an SSRI to get out of this place. I know that the only thing to produce sleep is sleepiness and I thought that perhaps I should connect with you about your thoughts on this situation (no medical advice of course) first. Thank you so much.
Hi DC,
Thanks so much for being in touch and you know, I think there’s so much we can learn from sleep that applies to pain or recovery as well.
Now on the specific question of medications, I think what matters is how we think about things.
If we think of a medication the same way we think of a vitamin - something we take as an act of self love, something we won’t ascribe progress to (when it comes to sleep all progress comes from you, from the inside!), without any criticism, something we would be fine taking indefinitely, then there’s no problem. Because there’s no friction, it’s just an act of self care.
@@thesleepcoachschool8192 thank you Daniel, this makes sense and I know you’ve explained it before so it’s a helpful reminder. I was doing very well just before the setback a few weeks ago. If you don’t mind me asking a quick followup: the setback led to a state of hyperarousal which has led to anxiety & racing thoughts at night and from there insomnia. So taking anything would be for the purpose of reducing this hyperarousal in order to sleep better. My understanding is that that would not be the right intention. If we are experiencing hyperarousal, how do we deal with that? Just by observing it?
Anytime!! So glad it made sense and you know, I can see you have so much insight which is fantastic!
I see things like this as well, that anything we do to escape hyperarousal makes it stronger because it’s a signal. So here’s I think a real nice explanation with some practical tips!
-
Our brains communicate with us using various signals. Worry thoughts are signals intended to make us safe from a potential threat. Anxiety is a signal that there’s something we should look out for that may potentially hurt us. Pain signals to us that we are getting hurt and we should do something to avoid harm. All our emotions and physical sensations are signals.
Now there’s never anything wrong with the signal itself. For example if someone is afraid of spiders, the fear is totally appropriate, because the brain thinks that there’s a real threat.
Now what happens often however is that we start looking at the signals as the problem, not seeing that it’s the confusion that is what we should look at!
For example, we may start to think that anxiety (a signal) is something that we shouldn’t have so much of. Then what happens is that we try to get away from this signal, which to the brain means… we aren’t hearing the signal!
What does the brain do when we aren’t hearing? It sends more of the signal!
Now the question becomes this - the signals often are very unpleasant (which is of course the point!) so how to have less signal?
It’s to show the brain that we hear the signal.
We do this by being willing to experience the discomfort without judgement, without trying to make it stop, just acknowledging it without action.
When the brain sees that we are hearing the signal, it stops signaling!
So how can we listen in practical reality? Here are three ways!
1 Thought download
Write your thoughts and feelings down for 10 minutes daily at a specific time. With no intention but to show the brain we are listening. This can really give the brain an outlet and you can find that it starts postponing warning you until this time.
2 Going there in the mind
Imagine the scenario the brain is trying to warn you about. This is a bit scary, but really shows that you’re listening! For example if the brain says “what if I you get fired?” then you can imagine this in detail. The call from your boss, leaving the work place etc.
When we are willing to experience something if even just in our minds, then the brain sees that we listen.
3 The Aha method
I think this is very practical and effective. When you have a stressful thought you go “Aha! My brain is trying to warn be about losing my job. I see what’s happening here” or “Aha! My bear is racing, that’s normal and expected when there’s some fear!”
Literally any thoughts or emotions or physical sensations of hyperarousal can be met with an “Aha!”. It’s a very practical way of listening.
-
Did this make sense DC?
@@thesleepcoachschool8192 thank you daniel! This is very helpful. I love the aha tool. So useful. If you find that you’re waking up around roughly the same time every night and then in and out of sleep for the remainder, is that sort of residual hyperarousal that will just fade on it’s own?
Anytime! So glad it makes sense 😊 And yes, that’s exactly how I see it. Some residual hyperarousal that fades when we are ok with having some residual hyperarousal and choppy sleep the latter part, yes!
Hello, I have insomnia for 4 years I have tried CBT-I without success I always get up at the same time and all the basic recommendations, the truth is that I am not afraid of not sleeping, I do not think about the negative consequences of not sleeping and if I will perform or not the next day, even though I am tired and very sleepy it is as if my mind does not allow me to fall asleep and when I do my mind sends muscle spasms to wake me up and I spend the whole night without sleeping, is this normal? thank you very much
Hi RVA,
Sorry to hear you had trouble for this long. But do you know that many many many in this community have the same experience with CBT. Problem is basically that anything with an attempt to control sleep leads to more struggle. And CBT is very focused on trying to control sleep.
Listen to the success stories in the success stories playlist what you find in the description. I think you’ll find a lot there that can be really helpful and hear stories about other people that have been where you are now!
Hi
How’s your sleep now?
The sad thing about insomnia is that its treated differently than manic insomnia. when im manic, i have to go to bed even though im not tired. with insomnia, you have to go to bed when you feel tired.
Hi,
I do think it’s sad that this idea exists that inner struggles are different. If we saw they are one I think it could really help so many
It’s not a one size fits all process what you teach is a gentle and most effective way to deal with a personal pace and being ok with the racing mind. To sit with it be with it not run and hide and force a shut eye which never works. Somatic work this comes right under the entire library of somatic therapy far more simple yet far more powerful then any other drug or “hack” don’t ever try hacks they don’t work they may help here and there but this work by Daniel has helped me so much and I also discovered work by Irene Lyon in the process.which helped with all other aspects of stress and anxiety
Like feeling my feet when I walk engage with my environment allowing the feelings to come and go and breathe through them. We often over look how to regulate our body and mind and jump to meds or breath work or some
Spiritual high. All can bypass the importance of how animals work through trauma and stress we after all have lost all connection to the jungle and don’t connect with our environment the way we should.
The hard part of sleep is here that you are sleepy but you cant sleep
Yes…it can be frustrating… but learning here I think can help. Hang in there
What is you never feel sleepy??
Ashley! When you never feel sleepy it’s because of hyperarousal, sometimes it’s sudden and sometimes persistent.. check out episode 330!
Hi Daniel I’m cara. And my problem is falling asleep and staying asleep. I need help and would really like to share more with you. Do you have an email ? Thanks.
Hi Cara,
Sorry to hear this has been happening but glad you found the channel. You know, I’m very happy to answer questions here in the comments. And if you’d like some more support, check out our website www.thesleepcoachschool.com and you can hopefully find an option that works for you.
Hang in there! Oh and by the way, there are two playlists that I think are great places to start:
This is natto - the perfect place to start learning!
ruclips.net/p/PL6RQ1GS7B1cik8Xr8iVdxmKB9FYieevYj
Success stories - if you need hope and inspiration, this is for you.
ruclips.net/p/PL6RQ1GS7B1cj68v9hdoXYv_fpOR65oI3U
Thanks for the info Daniel. I’m very anxious when it comes to sleep. Mostly because I think about the harms of sleep deprivation one of which is premature aging.
Anytime Cara, and you know… there are so many myths out there… reality is that there’s no evidence at all that sleep deprivation causes premature aging, oh and sleep deprivation is completely different from insomnia as well.
Check out Talking insomnia #58 with Betul, she talks about how people didn’t even know she struggled. Insomnia insight 388 can also help, it’s about appearance insomnia!
Thanks Daniel will definitely check the vids out