Answering Questions I've Avoided...Divorce, Red Flags, My Faith & Advice | Aysha Harun
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- Опубликовано: 30 янв 2021
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Let's get jUiCY with questions I've avoided answering...till now!
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FAQ
Where do you live? - Los Angeles, CA
What did you study in uni? - Business Admin/Marketing
Ethnicity? - Ethiopian/Harari
Age? - 25
FTC Disclaimer: This video contains a sponsored integration from Better Help! Some links above are affiliate links! All opinions are my own. 
Хобби
The thing about marriage/divorce..... sometimes you just marry the wrong person. And if you marry the wrong person it doesn’t matter how long you dated or how hard you work at it... it’s going to end eventually. And by wrong person I don’t mean ‘bad’ person, they’re just not the right person for you.
I agree with this!
This is so true.
Completely relate to this, I married the wrong person. It never works when you marry the wrong person.
Khalilah Edwards - Whew! I felt this statement in my bones. Speak on it!
But how and when will you know? Intuition?
“It was written” is my go to for everything loooool. I don’t get mad at things anymore. If I drop my food, it was written😅😂
Right😂then you dont really stress too much about life😂everything that goes wrong or not the way you planned wasnt meant to be is the way it is😂
😂 😂 me to LOL, I don't go to deep in planning for the future learnt my lesson the hard away. Allhamdulilah
Kay m🤣right😂thats how it should be so we dont stress too much about this crazy life/world😂
@@mysterygirlmyself4818 😂 right.
@@kaym6493 can you please teach me how to stop planning the future
I‘m getting dicorced from my husband and i also married very young to keep it halal and your videos really help me. I was really naive and just wanted to be with him in a halal way but i ignored many red flags, thought he would change etc. Now 23 and getting divorced but my relationship with allah was never stronger and i‘m soo happy with all the knowledge i gained throught this situation. Alhamdulillah !
Sending you all the love!
May allah make it easy for you 💜
@@zainabshoka4219 insha allah, thank you so much ❤️❤️
@@SamMKKK thank you ❤️❤️
Take a break from each other before getting divorce in that way you can decide what really want from life not just marriage
Im 25 not even close to being married. Ppl shouldn't force the whole narrative that when your older its too late, I mean damn 25 is still young.
Actaully some people would like to get married young while some don't. Everybody is different. And they are a lot of people I know that married young and they are very happy and does that don't even think about marriage but they are happy. It really depends on what you want
You are right when you say culture makes it seem like if you are older it's to late or you have to get married at a specific age. Everyone's time is different
It’s super young. I’m 29 soon and I think I’m more ready now than I’ve been before.
Enjoy your time without responsibiliy and chidlren.
not even close? so not even 28 or 29?
You seriously already look happier and just freeee. I am here for it! & Yes NEVER tell a man what you're looking for, they become actors in a role until they can't anymore lol. Be careful over-nurturing a man, they eventually resent you for it and will ultimately take you for granted. I see this in too many relationships.
"they become actors in a role until they can't anymore" whewwwww
This comment is everything!
What do you mean don’t overnurture a man? Because he’ll get spoiled?
So what do you then?. Do you just see how they act?
@@lytemisbah Dont become his mum. Be his wife, give him his rights and demand for your rights from the get go.
“ don’t fall for potential” I don’t know why but that slapped me in the face 😂
Aysha : Hey guys! Welcome ba-
Me: *thumbs up*
Me too!
Me too
So true...haha
I was heartbroken all 2020. Loved this man and it took me a whole year and a half to get over him only to find out at the start of 2021 he got married🙂 if something is yours, it will find you. I tried too hard to fight fate. I’m over it now and don’t think about him as much but I find peace knowing that my heart was pure throughout and you just can’t force things. You need to let things and go and let them be. God always has better in store for you.
Wishing you all the best my love 🥺💞
I got heartbroken the middle of 2019 and some days I still find myself recovering. Hang in there! What is written will always be for you, and what is isn’t, will never reach you. 🤍
@@AyshaHarun thanks Aysha, I truly do love you🌹
Keep shinning. All the best👏
Briannisaa thanks sweetheart! We’re in the same boat. We got this❤️
When she said she Googled RUclips videos on divorce I felt that cos I did the exact same thing. Divorce is hard, but it gets a bit bearable when you find other people who've gone through the same thing. Proud of you girl and you definitely look happier.
Maasha alaah
Same here. Married for 7 years (married when I was 19) Things aren't going well between us 😢
@@sheekadaDahab praying for you 🥺♥️
You have not said one bad thing about your ex, and I RESPECT that more than anything! "IT IS WRITTEN"...I absolutely loved that response! Take care...❤
I really appreciate the fact that you discuss this with such class. You don’t make it a “spilling tea” video, or rant on your ex. You say what needs to be said to express your feelings and thoughts on the matter without infringing on your ex’s privacy.
I really appreciate that you’re not ashamed of Islam and being open about it.
Thank you for that.
This girl is so genuine and deserves nothing but the best wallahi. May Allah swt make everything easier for you
Ameen!
Aameen ❤️
You're actually super young, only 25?! Lol when I was 25 I didn't even have the word marriage in my repertoire. I'm 31 and refuse to buy into this whole industry that makes Muslim women feel like we're expired or spare parts if we aren't married. Your business is booming and you're doing well, you do you sis!
Yes!!! I met my husband at age 31. He was my choice and he’s the most amazing husband ever for me! I lived my life to the max before him, bought my own house, traveled and was throughly fulfilled before him. Now, our marriage is the cherry on top as we were fulfilled individuals before each other.
Yes! I wanna travel, buy property etc. I'm open to marriage but I'm not gonna marry whoever, whatever for the sake of society
I feel you girl!! Im 29 and the pressure to get married is crazyyy. But ive rejected heaps of offers because all these dudes are bozos and truthfully all my friends that are married are miserable and ended up settling for men they are slaves to. I love this new generation of muslim women rejecting the patriarchal bullshit we’ve been fed all our lives!
smh
@@ye23. but thats not fair is the culture you guys have not islam that miserable marriage
Can we talk about the glow...the light...
I was thinking the same
That's Noor. ❤️
She is beautiful I wouldn’t leave her a second 😙
I need a friend like Ayesha!! Her personality is everything.
Girl atleast spell her name right 😂
Me too.
Am here,we can be friends sis
She is the ideal friend really.
That is how my name is spelled 😊😂@@musiclove2199
I’m 27 and haven’t met anyone that I vibe with. I am ok with not ever getting married
Sameeee
@@blobster91 It's just so hard to find someone, and it really shouldn't be
I'm 25 and just got divorced a few months ago. It was one of the worst experiences of my life. I had severe anxiety attacks and depression. I still haven't recovered and get nightmares about the marriage. Most days life seems so bleak but hopefully one day things will get better.
So sorry for what you’re going through. Like you said Its all going to get better In shaa Allah.
I'm wishing you all the best and pray that you get back stronger
Ohh subhanallah sister I hope you get through it with ease inshallah. Please see a therapist if you are able to & be easy on yourself.
Salam sis, I too was divorced at 25 and struggled with severe anxiety attacks and depression. My heart goes out to you ❤️ I’ve now been divorced for almost 3 and a half years, I thought I was never going to feel normal again or laugh again but take it from me, it does get better
I am sorry you are going through that. May God heal your heart and bless you. ❤️
Keep in mind Aysha, if you ever planned to get closer to Allah (swt), it has become (or is becoming) true through your separation with your ex. You’ve recognized the beauty and rahma of Allah (swt). You’re winning.
I would recommend all Muslims to read the book “healthy Muslim marriage” by Abdur Rahman ibn Yusuf mangera before marriage. it’s a amazing book to read when searching for a spouse.
Thank you.
Thanks you
Thank you for the recommendations, I'll make sure to read it 😊
Thank you for the suggestion book about Muslim marriage.
@Mariams Adventure A friend of mine did istikhara before marriage, was given a sign to get married and her husband cheated on her while she was pregnant. They are now divorced and she remarried but you need to do your own due diligence and not put everything down to fate if you want a long term marriage
The Muslims do understand; for me, i got married young and it took me honestly about 6 months to decide if this man was right for me or not. I actually believe that if you are taking it seriously and truly having quality conversations about life and family and values...then it can be done in 6 months or so. It really isn't about knowing them for years; I've known a lot of people for years but have had such low quality exchanges with them and thus don't feel close to them. Quality communication matters a lot when searching for a good match.
I 1000% agree with you!
Prayer can change your destiny. Everything is written and Allah knows the whole story of your life, but we can pray for change in that. It’s HIS will to change. We also have limited free will that does not deplete Allah’s will.
True
True!
True
In Sha allah 500k coming soon... allah always test the people that he knows can handle it.. if he knows you can’t handle it he wouldn’t let u test it out with that being said he did that to you to show u something better in life... I’m glad u doing better and in Sha allah I pray u find the right one some day 💕
So sorry you are going through this. I took a break from RUclips , didn't know. But thanks to your faith your have a great handle on things. I was actually getting ready to binge watch what I have missed when this notification popped up. Much love to you
Love this! Before I married my now husband my mother asked me, " would you marry him now as is even if nothing about him changed?" That was a great reflection piece for me.
Great question!!
Wow love that!
!! Powerful question!!
Great question !!!
Yessss queen, ‘I’m an even better version of myself’, I feel like us viewers can see that. I’m honestly so impressed with how gracefully you’ve dealt with it alongside continuing your work ethic snd creating gorgeous content. I also love how you didn’t shy away from talking about therapy whilst you were going through it, MH is still stigmatised (though that stigma is slowly fading) in a lot of Muslim communities. You’re a great role model Ma’sha’Allah and I pray for more growth, more success and when they time is right, a wonderful man who will match your brilliantness! Nothing short of what you deserve ❤️
You deserve all the love being sent to you, you are open and honest with your content, I am so much older and yet I have learned so much from you.
You’re an angel, I can’t even put into words how much this video and your previous videos have helped me on my own post breakup journey🤎
I'm so happy that you made this video. I have family members in my life that are currently going through separation and divorce (my mom and my sister) and I know they are having a rough time but please send prayers to them for a happier life inshallah. Ameen
Thank you so much for being so open and honest about your recent struggle
It’s so refreshing to see the free version of you along with the return of your beautiful spirit and smile! I have the limited edition vinyl set of Jhene Aiko’s ‘Chilombo’ and it has been my go to album along with Miles Davis’ ‘Kind of Blue’ during this pandemic.
OMG yesss Jhene's Chilombo really helped me too through my break up!!! And yesss "pray for you" made helped me accept!!! Wooow
Yes, be specific in prayer...something my Mother told me at a very difficult point in my life, and I have been more at peace ever since.
I got divorced last year I was just 22 I was a mess...I have drown courage from you Im working out I dressing up MashaAllah you are my motivation May Allah bless you
Aysha I really appreciate your openness and transparency on your Channel. I have been heart broken so many times, but looking at your tutorial lifts my spirits keep being you ❤️❤️
you are soooo pure-hearted and just so refreshing Allahuma Barikkk. I want to give you hug :') May Allah always keep you happy and continue to shower you with blessings, Ameen
Ameen ya rabb 💕
Ameen
Thank you for always being open and honest with us. You're literally radiating mashaAllah.
Marriage is not fairy tales as many people think. There will be good and bad times but with both people willing to meet in the middle, is doable. Married at 23,now 34 still going strong.keep your faith up and the right person is waiting for you. Blessings
Same I have been married since I was 22. Marriage is very hard but it’s worth to fight through if you can. I understand some situations are not workable but i don’t think marrying young is an issue it’s the parties being willing to accept that you both have to work and change for the better
Me too married at 21 now 33. Marriage can be tough at times but the key is compromise. And we all grow and change as people. Alhamdolilah for everything and having kids makes things harder. We have 5 kids mashaa Allah and i feel our relationship is better now than it has been. May Allah guide all of us to what is best and May Allah swt keep us steadfast ameen.
I seriously I usually never comment on youtube.. But I really appreciate the honestly. It wasn't owed but def appreciated. Love you so much and wish you all the best. I went through a divorce too and I am soooo happy now so I can tell you from experience the best is yet to come. Much love
There is no happiness in divorce at all guarantee you
Thank youuu Aysha. It's so true, I'll take a pain in my arm over heartbreak. Knowing how deep it is, is like😪
Love the balance of sharing and not being too personal all the while being vulnerable. Can’t wait to continue to watch your growth and happiness ❤️
I've been watching you for years and you're a queen, keeping shining!!
First time I've heard about Better Help, definitely checking it out
im a slient viewer, but i really love your content Aysha!!! i hope you know you are so loved by your subscribers!!
RUclips videos and therapy helped with my divorce after being married for 34yrs. I was beyond heart broken and depressed. It's been 10 yrs since my divorce and believe or not I'm happier single for now, I feel free. What's meant for you will be for you.
I got married young too, at 22 and I somewhat regret it. However I see it as a lesson learned, as I divorced him after 1 year. It teaches you what you truly need in a partner! The heartbreak is so painful, but it gets easier over time ❤️❤️ having faith in Allah swt honestly helps heal 🙏🏽❤️ take care Aysha!
Loved this video, kept it real but also respectful to yourself. I'd love to see more faith related videos. I genuinely enjoy hearing you speak about being a Muslim and how heart to heart you can get. Also understanding your relation with your faith as private, any tips, advice or just hearing you talk would be really interesting. Keep doing you queen, you're glowing 🙌🏽❤️❤️
I love the honesty and advice! Thankyou for keeping it real and always being authentic.
Appreciating and taking in all the honesty and wisdom, but also admiring the glow (inner and outer mashaAllah)
Glad you're moving forward, dear heart. Heartbreak is terrible, but especially in a long term relationship. While I agree with most of what you said, I think you should absolutely tell potential partners what qualities you are looking for. While some people can front for a while, no one can pretend forever. Actually, the problem is that people see the red flags but ignore or downplay them. People who are rude or gossipy or mean or manipulative. That almost always comes out early. But we write it off (they're having a bad day, etc). What I would advise people is to trust your intuition and marry the one who genuinely elevates you and vice versa. That is the point, for iron to sharpen iron. Change is inevitable so make sure you are with one who handles pressure and bad news in a healthy way (not running away, boozing it up, etc). I'm 35 years old, married for 4 years but together for almost 10 so I know a lil something about this 😁 Much love to you!
Omg glowy queen. I love the decor in your background!
So many gems in this video. I can see how much healing you have had and you’re glowing sis.
The level of emotional resiliency that shows through in this video though. Aysha you are such an amazing role model
You are the most honest and humble woman. Thank you for sharing. I am so proud of you fellow Canadian.
Already made a mental note to come back to this video if I’m ever heartbroken 😍 I feel like I already have hope and it hasn’t even happened yet 🤣 that’s called girl power ! ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
Yes Love, Girl Power is definitely felt. But I pray that you never have to deal with a broken heart love.....And that's also on GIRL POWER😊❤
Even my marriage proposal got broken but we girls are very young...we can do more things for ourselves....we are strong and inshaallah there will be someone who will actually understand us and the personalities will be the same❤❤❤but ayesha my girl keep fighting...i know u r a strong woman and nothing could break u down
I love this!! I appreciate your vulnerability always!
You’re so beautiful and your aesthetic is GOALS!
Your confidence in yourself is radiating mashAllah. I can see the growth. Keep going!
Of course I don't know you but as an older black woman I'm so glad to see a strong young black woman. I am also happy to see you engaging other young women on your channel; its needed. The strong bear the infirmities of the weak. Praying all the best for you. From Chicago (Chi-town)💞💞💞🤲🏾
I love how honest and pure you are. That is why you are my favorite
I truly feel you, a broken heart will bring you to your knees, BUT, it will all work out for the good.
This is a fact! You will become wiser from it and learn from it. It hurts and then it slowly becomes easier but you will have your days until you fully heal.
Your video quality is so good, it's like you will jump out of my TV and chill with me in my lounge 🤗🇿🇦
Really enjoyed watching this video and how you answered the questions. I’ve definitely taken some points from this. I’m really happy to see that you’re doing well♥️
Dear Aysha, I love you for your sincerity! I pray that Allah (swt) has written for you even better future! I enjoy watching you and I hope that you never stop smiling and succeeding. 🤍
That glow, tho. Glad to see that your sunshine has come, and there’s no more rain in your cloud. #angieStone
ur lazy sunday video is actually one of my faves. I think positive energy is great ofc but I think it's nice to see the rawness of life, even the low points and being able to relate to that. mashaAllah, really proud of your strength and growth, may allah swt bless u and grant you ease and give u better than what was taken from u ameen
Love this! So strong for sharing these tough questions 🥰
Much love from Gabon 🇬🇦
U're so inspiring
Keep going ❤️🥺
Thank you for this video, I am bored out of my mind right now, you're so strong it's so inspiring ❤
I love how honest you are... I did pick up that you put Your marriage and husband on a pedestal. I felt guilty about that. I am so happy you are happy. Bless Your heart. You are a strong and brave woman ❤️❤️❤️
You are so mature for your age. You didn’t even have to share this with us but thank you for sharing. As someone who is currently going through a heartbreak your words helped me a lot. You truly are rare. May allah bless you forever and ever. 🥺💜✨
Use capital A. We u mention Allah.
Its crazy that you said that I was going through both at the same time and definitely agree. May Allah heal you fully and grant you better.
I’ve been watching you a long time way back in Canada..You look more vibrant than ever. I’m glad to see that” you’ve stumbled, got up, brushed yourself off and continued..love your content and May God bless.
not one to usually comment and love all your stuff. But im proud of how you are handling everything and wish you all the best in self discovery and self love!!! I have a feeling this is going to be your best chapter yet...
I'm glad I came back to this channel after years. Happy to see you blossoming and thriving aysha.
Side note: you answered every question with such grace and with wisdom which I really wasn't expecting from a 25 year old. (I was certainly not this wise when I was 25)
Sending dua and salamati your way.
Loved this! Masha Allah, I'm genuinely happy for you! ❤️
May Allah bless you for sharing this journey, it makes peoples openup bout their struggles to on learning how to commit and love on their journey makes it much more open cuz its truly something we all gotta deal with (everybodys gotta learn sometime)
I'm so happy you are doing better AH :). also YOUR MAKEUP LOOKS SO GOOD OMG PLSS DO A ROUTINE
Came back to watch again this morning because this talk was mucho needed. I too, got married young (at 27) and now am going through a time of uncertainty within my marriage and it has been daunting on my personal and professional life relationships. What you mentioned about knowing what you both want out of each other is very true. I went in thinking potential will make it. And we have a son 🥲. I pray God continues to bless you and thanks for showing me... it’s okay and life doesn’t just end after a separation/divorce, etc. ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
You got this❤️❤️🥰
@@aishaa409 🥺❤️❤️❤️
I was 27 years old when I experience heart break. I do not have the eloquence of language to describe the pain. But I got through it and healed, we healed. Today we are married with kids and my husband is my best friend. We needed time and maturity and communication to push through. We decided our life together was worth it and we made it. God bless everyone on their journey
I’m so glad you’re doing amazing ❤️
thank you for sharing, sending you love & positivity xx 💕
Love and have so much respect for you 🙏🏽💯🥰 well done for the honesty you always show and being so real 👍🏽
Only the strong survives❤ We never know how strong we are until our backs are against the wall and we have to go into survival mood. Love your courage and strength.
Aysha you seem to be in a good and loving place considering all that’s happened. God is good!!!🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾
This was amazing. Sending you lots of love
Your home is beautiful!! I was sad to see the video end. Feel like I should sit down for some tea now 😂😂
I admire your strength and guidance from God.... You give me strength in dealing with a similar situation. So grateful and appreciate you being so transparency with such a difficult topic🙏
gosh your set up is so beautiful and inviting & the mirror, what a piece ! mA
She has the purest heart ever
I admire your honesty and transparency sis.
im going through a very rough patch myself with my marriage at a young age, but watching your videos made me relate to you and give me hope. You managed to stay positive and strong after something so difficult, and I really admire you for that 😪
🤍🤍🤍
Ahh thanks for answering my question!! 🥰
& I agree, heartbreak is one the hardest things to go through but Allah (swt) is the best handler of our affairs! Hang in there 🤍
It's the way I literally left the video I was watching to come here.
Hi Ayisha!
Hi!!
Much needed video for me, thanks for that sis 🙏🏽
Love youuuu ❤️❤️
I loveee these types of videos pls do more. your mindset is so inspiring
MashaAllah I am so so happy for you Aysha! May Allah SWT protect you and keep you at peace and safe physically, emotionally, and mentally as you keep growing in this new journey of yours 💓
Just copped your bundle w/ biossance 😊 excited to try it out 🥰. Also thanks for sharing, I’d actually been feeling a lot of anxiety around marriage, but you just helped me confirm what I’d already been thinking. Like I’m only 22, there’s plenty of time for all that stuff later inshallah. Allahumma Barik ❤️
Hi Aysha! Thank you for being vulnerable for us!! I love that you said “vulnerable is sexy”! So right! 🌟
Yes that’s is my new phrase for this month!
Love you so much. Sending love and light and so many blessing I pray for you! ❤️❤️❤️❤️