QUESTIONS I'VE BEEN AVOIDING| my divorce, co-parenting, single mum stigma
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- Опубликовано: 11 май 2024
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I've been a single mother for ten years; however, I'm not divorced. It's complicated, and I’m in the dark. He doesn't want to divorce me, and yet, I’m doing 120% of everything: working part-time, children, rent, and bills. I'm dying inside, but I will never show it to my children. No help from my family. May Allah (swa) help all mothers and give all husbands guidance, Ameen
You can apply for a kula and the imam can force him to divorce
Ameen! It really is SO hard. May Allah make it easy for you and me both 😔 no one knows the burden and the feeling of 'stuckness' one feels when they're neither married or divorced unless they're going through it themselves. It's so frustrating. Ugh.
May Allah make it easy for u sis ur amazing mother 😘😘
May Allah help you out of this unclear situation. If this is you on your picture, oh my you are stunning mashaAllah
Yes, pick wisely sisters. If you see red flags in the beginning DON’T IGNORE THEM.
Yes guys, divorce is sad. Loss is sad. Nobody plans on these things but Allah has a plan for everyone and when we're going through difficulties, we don't see His wisdom .. but SubhaanAllah years later we see how amazing and beautiful life turns out and everything starts making sense alhamdulillah ❤😊
yesss this true Allah knows what is best for us
💯 agree. Allah is the best.of planners , everything happens for a reason even if we can't see it at the time ❤
I’ve been a single mother since my daughter was born and she’s 25 now mashallah. All I can say it was the best decision of my life and things get much easier as they grow older alhamdullilah ❤
What did you do to support her? Work or funding from organizations?
How was her mental health as a young girl 2 years -5years was she okay. I heard children with single parent household can grow up with issues
@@user-uk2ki4iy5m. Everyone can grow up with issues. If the home isn’t peaceful it’s even worse. Better for mother to be alone with peace, than to subject her children to trauma. It has an effect later on.
I'm single mother for the last 5years,with zero help from anyone else,I can feel you 💯
Same
I am single mum with 4 children and no help and no family in this country 😢
That’s super hard and my ex-husband making my life even harder.
Allah make it easy for you ameen yahrabul almeen
From what I I’m experiencing I I’m so proud of you 👏 not easy but better have peace of mind
@@intissar25
I was single mom in UK with 2 kids lkn I left after 4 years back Home couldn't handle during coronavirus.
Hi abaayo. I was a single mom once with 3 kids and Alhamdulilah. I did it, and I just prayed each day and asked Allah to make my path each day smoother and easier. So insh Allah may Allah make it easy for you, and that one day you will look back and say dayum. I don't know how I did, but I did, and now it's over.❤😊
She’s 💯 right when she said be extremely careful and prayerful when you pick your life partner or father of your child or children!!!! You don’t want to be stuck with a narcissist or a useless unsolicited sperm donor!!! Learn from our mistakes and be very careful, prayerful 🙏 and wise. Stay blessed
She has a good understanding of Qadr 😊 what was meant to happen cannot be missed
Have you ever heard of free will?.
As a single mum, I felt your answer to “are you happier now”. Truth is we do forget after some time. But proud of my growth and how I handled situations and all the learning that comes with divorce. I also disliked people pitying me, I use to say I’m ok, no need to feel sorry,keep me in your duas. I was so guilty of simply living and enjoying life within Islams boundaries because of what people would think. Alhamdulillah almost 2 years later and it gets better. You find a new routine, kids settle. But it’s always going to be hard for me to know that my kids couldn’t have a healthy 2 parent household. That’s something I’m not sure I can totally get over as family is most cherished to me.
I am so happy you both are co-parenting. Some women use the kids as weapons and play games, not letting the father have access and see the children.
I loved how you say "it's okay to be not okay". That's self-love ❤ May Allah SWT help you and your loved ones become stronger: spiritually, mentally, physically, everything
Hey sister, im a single mom of 7, zero support from ex and family is not around either,, you are strong and your faith is strong, believe in allah swt and He will provide, in sha allah everything you have prayed and asked for comes to you, He is the provider and the protecter, head up lass, if i can do it so can you❤
Sending so much respect to all you mums doing it alone, may Allah reward you all Ameen
Stay strong and only allah u can ask for help
That's sad.
Ur right all you need is ALLAH swt .
May ALLAH SWT give u the strength 2 be the best support for ur children ameen 🤲
Your answers to the questions were so humble so polite so positive! Your advice about handling criticism i will definitely take that on board! Keep going zeinah! X
Thank you for sharing your story Zeinah. Allah does not put us through anything more than we can bear - stay strong, you've got this! I've been a single mum to my son now for 7 years. His with me 99% of the time. For 3 years, I had him with me 100% with no support. Alhumdulilah it does get easier, so keep going forward ladies - my ex lives next door to me with his new family since we broke up. Remember, no one can break you when Allah is blessing you ❤ some people will try to destroy you, but Allah will build you right in front of them. Keep your faith strong and have sabr ❤
I love the long cleaning videos, it's motivation, gives me great ideas and different people do different things that might benefit me or not.
Sis, Allah grant you and your kids happiness and health. Have followed you for a longtime and enjoy your content. Honestly, those of us who have been here from the beginning are happy you are happy. We don’t need the in’s and out’s just happy to see you thriving xxx
Zeinah Queen - Love you! You are such a rockstar and such a good mom. Take care of yourself and you don’t need to share anything personal. Sending you ❤.
You're looking absolutely stunning!! God bless you and your kids ❤❤❤ it is never easy, but you got this, sis !!
I totally agree with the hats off (hijab off hehe) to those that are single parents and being sole carers of their children. After i had my son (from a long journey of unexplained infertility) i went through the darkest time of my life. I had the support physically but mentally and emotionally i wasnt coping. And all i kept thinking was how to do single parents do it? I have so much respect. I dont care what anyone says ..having a child and raising them well is the toughest job in the world. So many people with so many opinions telling you how to raise your child. And commenting on your parenting style. If that isnt anxiety provoking then i dont knoe what is.
Well done to you love ❤. I love watching your videos you bring so much light and motivation to my day xxx
Alot of stigma around divorce in most of east african communities its shocking. Wish you healing in this journey.
You are brave and strong. Yes build your tribe.
Not really, tbh. Somalis don't stigmatise divorce much, it's extremely common for divorce woman to remarry even when they're old. No one really bats an eye lid at it.
I think East Africans are actually one of the least to stigmatise divorce yeah there is some stigma and naturally lots of nosiness but it’s not deadly like in some cultures which has pros and cons.Asians from sub continent I think stigma is pretty severe and in comparison Somalis are quite good in understand divorce is not the end of either of their lives or reputations.
@@Hanna95000 Agreed , original comment must be talking about other east Africa countries?
East Africans marry divorce, marry divorce many times. It's normal for them. They don't do long-term marriages. They are known for this and don't care.
As i am going thru divorce and with 3 kids omg i feel so much better mentally ,i am.more happier than i evrr been n my life. Love my single life ,is it hard yes, but at the end of day i no longer go to sleep crying or fighting.
May Allah swt bless you with someone better, may Allah swt bless you with a husband that has the characteristics of prophet Muhammad pbuh ameen 🤲🏽
@@shaidasadiq959 ameen. Thank you
I feel sorry that you have been continuously harassed to reveal your marital status. Nevertheless, I am happy to know that you are doing well. Life is full of ups and downs, and talking about your problems shows your strength as a person. May Allah make your life easier. Ameen ❤️❤️
You go girl, its nice to see you at your best so far and many more good things to come your way. We don't need men to make our life we make our own life . And men just can be a part of that or not. It's great to watch your vlogs ,just keep doing what your doing and more . The world is your oyster and don't let anyone or anything say different. Soooo proud of you🎉🎉❤
I am a divorcee too and I have 4 children, it’s hard but I learned over the years to trust in Allah and not a human being, children are humble and caring alhumdulillah. We can form our own community sisters
I understand the nosey people must be wayyy tooo much 😢. But i was just like omg how awful for her. I couldn't imagine the struggles of co parenting or divorce, but also the bravery to walk away from a toxic relationship, not to just stay because you don't want a divorce & to raise ur children by urself. Ive watched from the very beginning. Lots of love. keep going
Dangers of putting your life online, you get some nosey people and haters, sadly. I guess they have to expect that when starting social media.
Your makeup is stunning 🥰 thank you for sharing your journey
Zeinah Nur is an amazing, strong, smart & unapologetic Muslim woman. Please make dua for Palestine, Congo, Sudan, Muslims in Myanmar, India, Yemen & Syria.
Sending you lots of love, you are a beautiful, strong mom.
I am going through divorce as well. I have 3 kids, u are right be careful who u have kids with, true colors of the other persons shows.
Sis I don't mean to be rude but people will ask all questions because u chose to put ur life out there
It so so sad to hear that a beautiful family with such a beautiful children went apart. Live still surprises me 😔 when I started watching you I would never believe that after few years they will separate. Even after one of your previous videos I hoped that both of you just living apart for a while and you'll be back together.
You are very strong person and as adults I am sure both of you made the best decision for you and your children ❤️ you are right it was meant to happen and it happened. There are lots of families who struggle, it affects their children's lives but still don't have that courage to free themselves.
Yes you are right .i am on the same position that I want to apart from him or may be some point he want that aswell because of kids specially my 5 year old daughter we are together.she loves both of us together all the time..I am struggling from last two years,because of kids I can’t take this big life decision.i am not saying he is not a good father he do everything for kids but I think he want better wife then me…..and most specifically I don’t want lose my kids.they are my 17 year of hardwork.
Asc hooyo when I heard you story to be honest I cried, Cause you was beautiful families,. Insha'Allah everything allaah's hand .I know my somali mother's they're very strong mum and love they children .
Same 😮😢.
I’m a single mum and I’ve never been happier.
Absolutely SPOT ON Zeinah!! The best relationship you will EVER have is with Allah SWT ❤❤❤
Salaam sister, I like how real you are. Your private life is personal. You owe no one an explanation or need any validation.
May Allah SWT protect you and your children always. Aameen ❤
I’m literally watching this whilst I’m cooking dinner. ❤
Keep doing you, sis. May Allaah protect you from evil eye and increase you in sabr and happiness always. Not sure why but I feel super protective towards you x
Salaam sister
I saw you in Primark, Harrow on Friday, I couldn't believe my eyes!
I really wanted to say hi but didn't get a chance to as I had to rush to pick up my kids from school but it was so good to see you
Always wait for your videos 😊
May Allah SWT protect you and your kids from All the Evil eyes Allahumma Aameen🤲🏼
For you I enjoy Q&A I dont why.. I think its your calm persona and very relatable tone. I'm somali mum of 3. Also I like your home organising vlogs too.
Thank you so much for your honesty. Really appreciate it! Also thanks for your good advice about criticism ❤ may Allah always protect you and your kids ❤
Lots of love. You are amazing, never forget that
I'm a Single Mum and have never been happier! 😊 it's not the end of the world guys
I was a single mom for a few years. My child was 6 months old when we separated. It was hard, but it did get easier. Don't be hard on yourself about juggling everything, as we do the best we can. I will keep you in my duas.
Single mums are the strongest and most loving people and rarely or never get a break!
You look amazing & your doing a great job with all your going through
❤ May Allah swt make it easy for all of those (including us) who r going thru a similar situation Ameen❤
So happy to see comments about how peaceful and happier sisters lives are post divorce. May Allah make things easy for you.
I wish I would’ve caught the red flags 🚩 in the beginning of my relationship to my ex at the time we also have 2 kids co parenting is complicated with my ex who is a narcissist so I do feel you on this 100 💯 you look amazing and doing a wonderful job ❤❤
It's been almost 2 years of my divorce too and it's getting better, Alhamdulillah as you said counting current blessings go a long way, my kids are doing amazing too.
Sis can you please talk about the whole multiple wife topic if you can. I’m going to be separating from my husband who’s been having secret affairs for the past few years which I just found out, and they’re all women who were willing to be his ‘secret wife’. Devastated is not even the word right now I’m so hurt, everything was fine between us and even though he’s apologising now and saying he will change I can’t get past this heartbreak and the way he treated me during this time and neglected our 3 children while spending time with these women. I don’t even know how to leave, where do I go and stay with my 3 kids? What do I do? Lots of duas needed please and may Allah give all of us the strength to get through this for our childrens sake.
This is the result of women preventing four marriages. They have made themselves WORTHLESS.
I’m so sorry to hear this. May Allah give you strength to deal with this difficulty. SubhanAllah these men have no restraint and use Islam to fulfil their desires while not realising how serious of a burden they’re placing on themselves. And how do these side women willingly participate in such is beyond me. May Allah protect all Muslimahs and grant ease to those going through such suffering ❤
Allah guide you dear sister. Polygamy is allowed in islam but Allah didn't say wives has to accept it. If you feel like you can't rather leave. It's more detrimental to kids to stay in these types of situations so don't stay because of them. They might be happier with 2 separate honest and happy parents then 2 living a secret life. May Allah grant you the strength to make the right decision In Shaa Allah
@@razamughal4582you need the permission from the first wife, if she isn’t okay with it then you can’t marry more.
Also this should be discussed before marriage and you can write in the nikkah contract that you don’t want to.
Also he kept it a secret, He didn’t even discuss it with her.
May Allah help you dear
You look beautiful Maashallah 😊Shukran for the life update. Shukran for also using your platform to speak about Gaza. Wishing all the best for you and your boys Ameen.
I'm single parent but I'm not alone allahsubhantallah is always with us it's with his will that we go through this life so alhamdailil smile live breath stop asking someone else woes to make you feel better send her dua saying may allahsubhantallah grant you strength and happiness. My sisters its okay to feel hurt just be there for them to lean on . I think this sister is gone be okay alhamdailil ❤❤❤❤❤
Thank you for sharing this video. I think it has come as a shock to a lot of us.
I’m happy to hear you are co parenting. That can help you have your time too.
I just wanted to ask was your marriage bad all throughout or did you have some good years? ❤️
Such a heart felt QA Allah huma barak, I weld up in few places , u gave such a emotional and raw QA , i did feel upset for u with some of the ppls questions , but u answered them beautifully..they can go in the bin too lol!! You are doing amazingly, you handle everything with dignity, your a sting independent women and a fantastic mum Allah huma barak. May Allah SWT continue to give you strength to get you through any hardship you might face and put lots.of blessing into your life Ameen ❤❤❤❤
You are a beautiful person Zeinah im happy you doing well sis Alghamdulilah,May Allah make this new journey an easy one In Sha Allah❤
It's so nice to hear that you're cooparenting...my parent were not able to do soft for a
Very long time and I think it affected me with my choices of relationships and relationship with dad..your kids are lucky in that way alhamdullilah ❤❤❤❤
Good to see you ❤❤❤❤❤
Such a beautiful and strong soul, may Allah swt grant you plenty of happiness ❤️❤️❤️
Wow good luck with everything you have our prayers x
Allahumma barik.
May Allah protect you and your children
Yes zeinah am a single mum but trust me Allah is here for us
So cute how you pronounce privacy😂💓preevesee im so used to saying/hearing pryvessy😂
I went through divorce last year. It was really hard to talk about it as sometimes as women, we are so hard on ourselves.
You are a strong woman. I wish you all the best.
When i watched your videos then i was definitely curious but knew it wasnt my place to ask. I could see you had seperated but i feel so sad to know you are actually divorced now. May allah make it easy for you and your family.
Salaam Zeinah. How are doing
?i wow U are going through this but are motivating us shukran. I am just in awe of you. Keep going Allah SWT is with you x
Habo wan kula socday Mudo dheer Waa a idin jeclahay dhamantiin ogow wixii alle qoray ma la gefayo inshallah waad guulaysan nag Noor👏🥰
Alway love your outfit❤❤❤
Lovely vlog ❤❤❤❤
Love the honesty Zeinah ❤
I see you getting hold of things. Everything is qadr I am happy this day was a good day for you. May it get even better inshaAllah. Allaha yamacaka ❤️
"In the bin"...sometimes you just have to answer like this...😅🤣🤣 Wishing you and your kids all the best
Restes forte, prends bien soin de toi et de tes enfants
Sending you all the love
Alhamdulillah life is like a living rollercoaster, we hv to all roll with the punches insha'allah, and indeed Allah gives the toughest battles to its strongest servants, masha'allah Allah Humma Barik!
I think you are doing very well as a single mum and don't listen to those people who want to put you down😊
You look beautiful MashAllah 😍. Thanks for this video. I wish you all the best in life Ameen. It's hard when you love someone but they continue to make the same mistake that literally involves you daily. May Allah guide us all Ameen.
You look gorgeous with a printed hijab, especially aqua blue and peacock green/blue 💙💚💙💚💙
You are an inspiration and a superwoman. Dont worry about negative comments.
Do you believe in evil eye?
I don't think there should be any stigma on divorced families. My parents divorced in the late sixties. My dad was still in my life, and that's all that really matters in the end. My mother was a strong and independent women.
Can you do a makeup tutorial because your base is looking flawless!
Absolutely 💯 ❤❤❤ love you girl❤❤❤❤
I'd love to see a cleaning video once in a while (maybe a short one). Because it inspires me to get my own cleaning done ✅
Ma shaa Allah siz you are clever. Its good to keep your privacy keep it up..baraka Allah
Best advice about criticism ❤❤❤
Sending you a big hug 🤗 and duas 🤲🏽🌸 keep smiling sister 🫶🏼 so happy to know your in a good place Alhamdulillah, we all have our ups and downs but it’s how we overcome that feeling or thought that makes a difference. Thank you for asking how we/I am 😂 alhamdulillah not great but can’t complain 👊🏽
Assalamualaikum sis may Allah swt make it easy for you. May Allah continue to heal your head and your heart. I know from experience how it feels and the pain and tears that go alone with it. From what I see, you are doing an awesome job. It gets better in time inshallah
I wish I could do my scatf in such a beautiful way and also have such a beautiful scarf to begin with! It's so stylish!
Did moving to London spoil thing back in Manchester would u have still been togeathrer Some in-laws makes the situation worse
Slmz my dear
You bring happiness just by being
You are such an inspiration to lots of girls
You doing great
Keep it up
Keep posting
You give us strength
Love from South Africa
Allah, swa is with you, my beautiful sister. Please take it easy and relax. Everything has already been written. Please don’t answer any more questions about your ex-husband. People, please let the sister move forward with her life.
Thank you for talking about rafah
Can you make a video on red flags in a relationships? How to choose wisely?
That’s a very good Question. Especially for those who don’t know what a healthy relationship should be like…
I don't think there is no right or wrong answer .
U don't really know any1 until u start living with them .
Then u find out the real person .
Cos before that they could act like they are all nice .
And will promise u the world .
It is very scary .
I love you for the sake of Allah ❤ you’re honest and I love the boundaries you set! Xbty Allahs got you! Keep doing you ❤️
May Allah make it easy on us Im a single mom of 2 daughters too . Allahuma barark
May Allah swt make your journey easy and may your daughters be the coolness of your eyes ameen 🤲🏽
My favourite UK based 😊 RUclipsr ❤❤❤
Alahumabarik you are doing amazing keep going you are strong 💪 from Habo how is been following you for long 🥰❤️❤️
VERY NICE VLOG ZEINAH........
SEE YOU IN YOUR NEXT VLOG.............
TAKE CARE..........
❤❤❤❤❤❤
You are beautiful sister Allah swt will give you something even better ❤
I love you so much, even the first time I saw you I fell in love with you ❤❤ may Allah protect you and your family and may Allah bless you with happiness 😊
I truly agree where you're coming from. People who try to shame others for things that's not really as important as the hurt going on ard the world 🌎🌎
Sorry to hear your divorced sis. May Allah SWA make it easy for you & the kids ameen.
Sis I used to watch your cooking vlogs for years on yt. Alhamdulilah like the way u plan meal days etc n the way u prep freezer food too.
Your a good mum please remember this. Remember me in ur duas please 🙏❤😊
❤❤❤❤❤sending you lots love 💗