The 5 Stages of Divorce

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  • Опубликовано: 24 ноя 2024

Комментарии • 1,6 тыс.

  • @thorazine2111
    @thorazine2111 6 лет назад +26

    I gave it my all ... 25 years of faithful marriage, struggled to pay 4 years of college for my daughter, had a series of 3 heart surgeries and lost my career due to illness ... just to find out all the sudden this week that my wife has decided to move out with my 21 year old daughter and start a new life without me ... I sit alone, empty, lost ... I never knew a human could suffer as much loss as I have in one lifetime and still draw breath ... thanks for the video, I needed the cry

    • @violetcrush8867
      @violetcrush8867 3 года назад +2

      Sending love to you

    • @claypaulswife
      @claypaulswife Год назад +4

      I'm sorry your going through this. My husband of 32 years walked out once I became disabled, and after I raised our 2 kids primarily alone, paid off all his debts, cared for him after heart surgery, and two knee replacements. Now he continues to verbally abuse me and has become violent due to stopping all his meds. I'm now having to block his calls and Facebook for my own sanity. I honestly think those of us with longer marriages suffer even more extensively.

    • @methyouth
      @methyouth 6 месяцев назад

      Hello. I am reading this 5 years late but I hope you are doing okay. I hope you filled your life with new colors and you are glad everything turned out the way it did. Sending you hugs.

    • @hellkeyproduction
      @hellkeyproduction 2 месяца назад

      I feel you. Unfortunately there is not that much that I can do than sending you love from a keyboard and a screen, but I wish you tons of strenght to go through all this hell

  • @ByeByeBelly
    @ByeByeBelly 6 лет назад +37

    I experienced these stages during the marriage, not the divorce. Lots of marriages are abusive, in those kinds of marriages, you could of been grieving and feeling loss all the way through. Divorce is then confusing and difficult but you may not go through those typical stages. For me it was like excitement, relief, excitement, anger, resentment, flashbacks then settling on being glad it didn't end later than it did.

    • @ashleynicolass
      @ashleynicolass 3 года назад +5

      I know this is such an old comment, but I have never related more to a comment than this one.

    • @nat6237
      @nat6237 3 года назад +2

      Exactly what I’m experiencing

    • @dsstudio76
      @dsstudio76 Год назад +2

      This is me! Same feelings.

    • @s.s.6593
      @s.s.6593 Год назад +1

      ​@@ashleynicolass me too

    • @sammybee1929
      @sammybee1929 Год назад +1

      Ditto ..

  • @honestjaye8229
    @honestjaye8229 7 лет назад +393

    Im a man and everything you are saying i went through. Im the one trying to keep it together and i have gone through all those stages. So its not just the females

    • @carlosbrito8147
      @carlosbrito8147 6 лет назад +4

      I'm sorry man, I was there and all it did was cost me more!

    • @countrifried
      @countrifried 6 лет назад +10

      Honest Jaye oh man, I’m going through this as I watch this video. I never want to feel like this again

    • @tomulator
      @tomulator 6 лет назад +39

      If I hear one more person say they grieved the loss of their marriage DURING their marriage I think I’ll scream! My soon to be ex-wife says that yet...after 21 YEARS of marriage, 21 years of me being there and being faithful, she just couldn’t be bothered with actually talking to ME about it...I was just supposed to KNOW we were in peril. She just LEFT. No trying, no discussion, NOTHING. What a QUITTER! Now...my two kids and I are left to make sense out of all this...women out there...suck it up please and try like HELL to SAVE your marriages! They’re not supposed to just be conveniently ditched when tough times hit...FIGHT for it!

    • @tharpeaddy
      @tharpeaddy 6 лет назад +4

      I agree. But you know how some women are.

    • @tharpeaddy
      @tharpeaddy 6 лет назад +8

      Tomulator dude!!! Exact same thing happened to me!!! Women want guys to be troopers for what? So they can be the ones that bounce? It’s really devastating. As soon as she gets a baby out of me she leaves. Go finds another guy and like you said without warning. The next woman I find...I’m gonna date her for 3yrs before I even get engaged to her. My brothers girlfriend is a trooper!! His baby moms did him the same way. His girlfriend he has now took care of him for a year because he had no job because of his baby moms. It’s like they could have left a long time ago before this shit. They leave when it’s Convenient for them. When it’s inconvenient for the guy. I feel like it was all played out honestly. Narcissistic behavior

  • @Taran532
    @Taran532 4 года назад +45

    I’m going through divorce and watching my husband date some new girl. I can’t eat or sleep. Every second is unbearable anxiety and panic. I hold back tears all day because I miss my husband and my marriage and my old life so bad! This is a level of depression and loneliness I can’t describe. It IS a raw feeling like you’re walking around with no skin.

    • @jaslynkinsey5216
      @jaslynkinsey5216 4 года назад +4

      Stop Saying Literally this is exactly what I am experiencing now. It’s a dark and hopeless feeling. How are you now, two months later?

    • @Taran532
      @Taran532 4 года назад +6

      Wow I can’t believe it’s been two months since I wrote that. I’m better, but I had to put in the work. Every day is a struggle to get in the right mindset and you have to look only forward and never back. It’s true what everyone tells you, take care of yourself, be nice to yourself, visit family and friends (I know that’s difficult during Covid virus) and focus on YOU. Believe better things are coming and in your head at least realize if he left you in this much pain then he doesn’t love or care about you. Your heart will probably still miss him for a long while but it does get a little easier each day.

    • @queendenia8067
      @queendenia8067 4 года назад

      Stop Saying Literally Dr
      olu helped me
      get my husband
      back

    • @queendenia8067
      @queendenia8067 4 года назад

      Stop Saying Literally WhatsApp
      him
      +234 808 451 2925

    • @bettyohara1487
      @bettyohara1487 3 года назад

      @@Taran532 😭

  • @stephaniefythm
    @stephaniefythm 2 года назад +50

    I went through a lot of financial crisis during my divorce, I had to raise my two kids alone, Currently I'm living smart and frugal with my money. Bought my second house already. Saving and investing lifestyle made it possible for me; even till now I earn monthly through passive income. I'm planning on retiring when my kids finish college.

    • @eadad4371
      @eadad4371 2 года назад +1

      I'm a single dad. Not quite long I started investing. I'm very curious and need help on how to enhance and increase my returns. Any good investment tips would be appreciated

    • @stephaniefythm
      @stephaniefythm 2 года назад

      @@eadad4371 Generally, investing requires higher knowledge. For this reason, It's important to have a solid support structure (financial consultant) to guide you through especially in asset picking. I operate with (Regina Louise Collaro) an investment advisor who partners with a licensed wealth management firm. For the record, the experience has been the best for my finance.She is quite popular for her services so you might have heard of her.
      She made me financially stable investing through her help, now I earn on a monthly basis through her passive income strategy... So I’ll advise you do get a good Investment advisor for yourself.

    • @eadad4371
      @eadad4371 2 года назад +1

      @@stephaniefythm That’s great , your investment advisor must be really good,I have seen testimonies of people using the help of investment advisors in making them more financial stable. Do you mind sharing more info on this person?

    • @stephaniefythm
      @stephaniefythm 2 года назад

      @@eadad4371 look her up on the internet and leave her a message she's quite popular for her services as she was recently featured on cnn. She can work with anyone irrespective of where their located

    • @emeldcentor1474
      @emeldcentor1474 2 года назад

      @@stephaniefythm After I ended my marriage last year, I have had the intentions of starting investing. But I always thought it was late and I think I need to stop procrastinating. I will definitely 🔍 Regina Louise Collaro and see what she can advise .Thanks a lot . This was of so much help to me .

  • @Mirandaaaa1
    @Mirandaaaa1 5 лет назад +140

    Watching this as I pack my stuff to move out of our home. I’m insanely sad and heartbroken most of all because my son is 2 and kept putting his toys back in his room. Thank you for this video it honestly helped a bit

    • @miracleblah5787
      @miracleblah5787 4 года назад +6

      It's hard to be a single mom..

    • @georgiamaguire692
      @georgiamaguire692 4 года назад +4

      Awe I’m so sorry. How are you doing now?

    • @rebecaperez1957
      @rebecaperez1957 4 года назад +5

      Currently going through this with my toddler. I’m so heartbroken. I hope you’re doing better

    • @angelagallagher8136
      @angelagallagher8136 4 года назад +2

      Hope your ok Becky.... Its hard, but be strong, things will be alright.. good luck 🙏

    • @IAM-qu6le
      @IAM-qu6le 4 года назад +2

      🙏🙏🙏

  • @oscarmora2291
    @oscarmora2291 6 лет назад +10

    My wife of 6 1/2 years left me for another person it’s been 2 months and I’m at the anger stage but for the past week I’ve been accepting the fact my wife doesn’t love me anymore. I keep on telling myself I’m 23 and I still have long way to go. The biggest blessing are my 2 daughter. Thank you for the video 👍

    • @Strife72
      @Strife72 4 года назад +1

      Oscar Mora I know exactly where you are coming from Oscar! I had dated a woman for 5 years before getting married last year. Fast forward a year later she began having an affair with another person. I had walked in and seen someone else in our bed, but it was what I needed to see for closure. It ultimately damages a person to the core. But time heals wounds! And like you said ultimately you must accept that this person no longer loves you, thus work on moving on to find happiness with someone else who will appreciate you.

  • @aftontitus4187
    @aftontitus4187 7 лет назад +114

    This video speaks to my soul. I'm going through such a painful divorce. I'm so broken and shattered, I don't even know whether I'm coming or going but seeing you doing so well and being so strong gives me hope. This pain is immense but you've shown it can be overcome . Thanks for sharing your story.

    • @lavendascloset
      @lavendascloset  7 лет назад +2

      Afton Titus sending you my love babe.

    • @prettyrican34
      @prettyrican34 5 лет назад +4

      Afton Titus have you recovered. I’m struggling!!!

    • @villagechillershorror228
      @villagechillershorror228 3 года назад +1

      Hope you are going better now. I'm just now going through it

  • @electlady35
    @electlady35 7 лет назад +605

    It hurts more when children are involved.

  • @B49337
    @B49337 2 года назад +1

    Thank you. Open, heartfelt and simply talking straight up.
    The following doesn't degenerate or creates division between what a woman or man goes through: I would say it could be either person who may carry extreme guilt or remorse for the effects on their children. It's neither more or less irrespective if you are the mother or father but it depends on the individual mindset irrespective of gender.
    There's a stereotypical image of what men and women are like in divorce but reality is far removed from these stereotypes.
    I really appreciate your video and the advice you gave. Thank you so much. 🙏❤️

    • @nancyanderson6287
      @nancyanderson6287 2 года назад

      My ex came back to me few days ago ❤️ I got help from a Relationship Restorer Dr Steve Who was able to mend back my broken relationship and make my ex to come back and beg for a second chance. He can bring your ex back

  • @drivestorage1779
    @drivestorage1779 8 лет назад +3

    You're so strong and beautiful. Thanks girl. I'm 2 weeks post legal separation. So, I'm not sure I'm in denial ... anger ... just yet? Everything is a bit "messy" emotionally and I'm definately feeling all kinds of emotions ... when you spoke about Ella ... girl I have no idea how you stopped yourself from crying ... I'm BALLING over here thinking about my son. He's only 2 years old and I feel so much guilt. I feel I owe him my life and a debt of finding a "good" father for him ... (in place of my ex) ... all I know is, he deserves a family ... but thanks girl. I can't believe you're so brave to talk about it. I'm ever grateful for your video.

  • @Dave196989
    @Dave196989 6 лет назад +28

    Lavenda, this is a beautiful but tearful message to me. I know that I am a man and all, but I am going to share this with my soon to be ex wife. I still love her so very much and right now I am having to type through the tears. We were married Almost 13 years and we have 3 awesome children together. I cried all through the part of you talking about taking out some frustrations on your child and God knows I have done it and still do at times. All I want to do is be the Best Dad that I can be for my children. I see so many things in my time of being married to a beautiful lady that I know that I should have been doing more of and better at. I continually beat myself up for those things. But I know in my heart that I cannot change her mind now. I want to be happy again someday, and If God has it in his plans then I might meet someone else that will be a good fit for me again.... And hopefully to God I have learned my lessons. Telling People That You Love Them Doesn't Prove Anything !!! IT'S HOW YOU SHOW THEM THAT MATTERS THE MOST. Take it from someone that has the recent experiences of losing the 3rd best thing that has ever happened to me. What are the two things ahead of her? Being Saved By The Grace of God will always be #1 and then Our Children, that she had as much a part of creating as I did. Thanks for sharing your stories and you definitely have a new fan.
    David Norris

  • @georgeg2369
    @georgeg2369 4 года назад +37

    1. Denial
    2. Anger
    3. Bargaining
    4. Depression
    5. Acceptance

  • @itoamferrellmimi4297
    @itoamferrellmimi4297 8 лет назад +83

    This gives me hope , going through a separation/divorce is one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. Thank you for sharing your story!

    • @elizabethsuttoncollection
      @elizabethsuttoncollection 3 года назад

      I'm sorry to hear that, I hear you. You would like my channel I talk about it there.

  • @jadetaylor8182
    @jadetaylor8182 4 года назад +16

    I'm still married (been together for 6 years) and I feel like I have gone through many of these stages already. It hurts when there is emotional abandonment from the other person, and they don't even seem to care about you or your feelings at all. I've been thinking about divorce for a long time, but I've always been scared to leave because I've never really been on my own, and alone. There are so many pros and cons to leaving, and it feels like I'm going to lose no matter what I do. In a weird way I blame a lot of where I am at now from my childhood, and never feeling loved or having a stable life with people who love me. Like I was raised to just accept less because I'm unworthy of love and acceptance. I was never shown how to take care of myself or be on my own or love myself...I'm learning more everyday how to do that but it is extremely hard to walk in self love when the person you are with doesn't seem to really like or even love you. Feels lonely and horrible to be honest.

    • @behatilife6874
      @behatilife6874 4 года назад

      I have someone who can help you out he help me get my family back I believe he can also help you out is not too late try contact him on Wh'atappz +2348116765476

    • @yusraabdallah7870
      @yusraabdallah7870 3 года назад +1

      Same situation 🥺😭

    • @bettyohara1487
      @bettyohara1487 3 года назад

      @@yusraabdallah7870 😭 same....

    • @rosinahngalasa4038
      @rosinahngalasa4038 6 месяцев назад

      This sounds like I'm the one who typed it....story of my life 😢😢😢

  • @K4R3N
    @K4R3N 3 года назад +3

    Maybe I'm wrong, but I think the key is to get to a really confident place with... YOURSELF. Then you can get into a strong relationship with another healthy/balanced person. DO NOT for minute think marrying someone or being with someone will fix YOUR personal issues. Fix YOURSELF first, then if someone really good comes along with similar interests/goals/style, take things carefully forward. Learn to be more independent, not in a hostile way but in a healthy way that you don't feel threatened or intimidated easily (or do that to another person!)

    • @stephaniemchh6476
      @stephaniemchh6476 3 года назад

      I know of a powerful doctor who is capable of helping people to bring their ex back he helpe mi also when my heart was broken in 8months. Message him and be free.

    • @stephaniemchh6476
      @stephaniemchh6476 3 года назад

      +1 ,,,.9 14 22 8 , ,20 41.

    • @K4R3N
      @K4R3N 3 года назад +1

      @@stephaniemchh6476 bull shit

  • @fatimakhatun4623
    @fatimakhatun4623 3 года назад +5

    Thank you for sharing your experience. It means the world. I can so relate to you. I also have a daughter who is 3 years old and going through a divorce. Please keep me in your prayers. I feel so scared of the unknown.

    • @stephaniemchh6476
      @stephaniemchh6476 3 года назад

      I know of a powerful doctor who is capable of helping people to bring their ex back he helpe mi also when my heart was broken in 8months. Message him and be free.

    • @stephaniemchh6476
      @stephaniemchh6476 3 года назад

      +1 ,,,.9 14 22 8 , ,20 41.

  • @suzee907
    @suzee907 8 лет назад +88

    Ughh!!!! I feel like I have a mental illness!! Panic and anxiety every single minute of the day!! I know it will go away,as long as I keep crawling forward! Each day gets easier until one day......You dont think of this person anymore,almost like being addicted to something if you dont have it you eventually get over it!!!!!! That is the day I am waiting for!!!!!!!!!!!! I cant go backwards or I will have to start the process all over again!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    • @lavendascloset
      @lavendascloset  5 лет назад +4

      I’m so sorry. I know how consuming that can feel too. :(

    • @domijean8023
      @domijean8023 5 лет назад +3

      No family
      No home
      No job
      Massive anxiety

    • @melissamercado5535
      @melissamercado5535 4 года назад +1

      I feel the same way, it's the beginning for me and I dont know how I can overcome and live with this.

    • @Candy_Gal
      @Candy_Gal 4 года назад

      Melissa Mercado same here...it’s so hard and scary 😞

    • @AnaLockett
      @AnaLockett 3 года назад

      Yes

  • @rebeccaadeniran5421
    @rebeccaadeniran5421 8 лет назад +58

    this helped me knowing that i wasn't crazy feeling this way. i have only been divorced for less than a week. married for almost 3 years. it really sucks and hurts, you do feel alone a lot of the times. you feel like people don't understand what you're going through emotionally. depression and anxiety are definitely real during this. your emotions are all over the place. thank you for posting this. i cried while watching this. but in comfort. it really helped me to understand that this is normal but i will eventually overcome it. we are friends now! lol

    • @shanoelazace2034
      @shanoelazace2034 6 лет назад +1

      rebecca woodward
      I have the same situation, we don't love each other, but I don't know how to move on. I have traditionally family and society. Please help me with something!

    • @carlosmaldonado5245
      @carlosmaldonado5245 5 лет назад

      Shanoela Zace how are you doing now? I feel so hopeless

    • @lavendascloset
      @lavendascloset  5 лет назад +2

      Shanoela Zace time is your best friend. Your bible, journaling, inspirational books... spend as much time crying when you can and then a lot of time outdoors or with your friends and family. :)

    • @rosekamau8389
      @rosekamau8389 5 лет назад

      @@lavendascloset i really need this. I am going thru a difficult stage. I think it is somewhere between denial and anger. Can anyone link me up to a support group? I feel awful

  • @LaBellaUnicaGemini
    @LaBellaUnicaGemini 4 года назад +3

    I just filed for divorce. Married 4 going on 5 years and I also have a yound daughtet. I immediately began crying my eyes out when you said you were extremely lonely. I agree that we begin the stages of divorce while still married. I was no longer happy and sometimes less than nice to my beautiful baby girl because of the shit I felt. Thank you for sharing your story. I was truly at a low moment and hearing your similar story helped me.

    • @michellereeves9316
      @michellereeves9316 4 года назад

      You don’t have to worry yourself, I can recommend you to man who helped me restore my ex back, he offers the best solution in fixing broken relationships, you can text me via whtsap messenger on +1 (204) 819-7613🇨🇦🇨🇦♣️♣️ for more info on how the man works♣️📞📞📞📞

  • @EdieSexwitch
    @EdieSexwitch 4 года назад +56

    I’m in the middle of a divorce, but I already went through the stages, now my heart literally hurts at night. I am doing me in the day, but at night I’m so sad and I can’t see myself ever being with another man intimately or loving another man, I’m so attached to him.

    • @daveyishere55
      @daveyishere55 4 года назад +5

      I understand you. I feel the same way about my ex-wife. I was so attached to her that I just don't feel like I can love another woman ever again

    • @Kimoja1
      @Kimoja1 4 года назад +3

      I’m going through this right now and I hurt so bad when night comes

    • @danv7281
      @danv7281 4 года назад +2

      Sorry to hear you're going through it and all of the rest of you that commented. Its not fun, its not glamorous, its hurtful, life altering, and impactful. I understand what you said.

    • @K4R3N
      @K4R3N 3 года назад +1

      This is the side of relationships you don't see often in Hollywood or media (traditional or social). Protip: if you ladies watch Real Housewives just Google how many of those couples got divorced! My soon to be ex wife binged watched that Bravo stuff and made me sit through it also. Focus on your HEALTH (physical, emotional and mental), your income and your kids. That's it, those 3. Life is short. Don't jump into relationships, usually they don't end well!

    • @diksha7069
      @diksha7069 3 года назад

      Hi how are you doing now? I would love to hear it as I'm just starting this process and my heart so bad the whole day :( x

  • @teamsmartkidsabc2352
    @teamsmartkidsabc2352 7 лет назад +2

    Thank you so much for sharing your story. It really exposed what I'm currently going through in my marriage. I've just arrived to the point of acceptance. I've been a stay at home mom for about 4 years, so I'm working on figuring out how to work out my financial situation before I tell him it's time.
    He seems to be in denial although I've expressed that, "At some point we will no longer be together. I'm basically here for the kids."

  • @amina4341
    @amina4341 8 лет назад +124

    feeling extreme loneliness.grief.rage.depression.

    • @boogieblue8136
      @boogieblue8136 8 лет назад +6

      Amina I'm right there with you...

    • @missleo2003
      @missleo2003 7 лет назад +2

      Amina me too..so much pain in the last few years...the last time I was really happy when I met my husband.

    • @MrFury777
      @MrFury777 7 лет назад +4

      get a loving partner ..sex will save the day xx

    • @engineeryameen4117
      @engineeryameen4117 6 лет назад

      Amina hi from karachi

    • @krysformayor8217
      @krysformayor8217 6 лет назад

      You are in my prayers. Be stron

  • @caitlynbouvette3966
    @caitlynbouvette3966 4 года назад +11

    Thank you so much! My divorce papers were finalized today and I am a roller coaster. Honestly I’ve just thrown myself into more jobs, more side hustles, fitness class ever since we started having problems just to distract myself from what’s happening. I’m really scared to actually let myself feel these emotions because I know they will be rough when they hit. Everyone says I’m so strong to go through this, but I really don’t accept it...I feel weak. I feel scared. I feel anxious. Any advice for dealing with feeling weak when everyone else says you’re strong?

    • @sweetpea7362
      @sweetpea7362 Год назад

      Its been three years. Wondering how you feel now?

  • @rcsciontc24
    @rcsciontc24 4 года назад +34

    I miss my wife so much.. i took her for granted.. i nvr felt like such a failure. Shes the most beautiful person i hv ever met and somehow we allowed Satan to get between us... she has run from me completely, and i feel so alone and broken... if i could hv her back i would treat her like the queen she deserves to be... but right now it doesnt seem at all possible, she hates me.. im working on all of my faults, staying in the gym and putting a lot of effort into work bc its so hard... she was my first wife, im her third husband. I hurt for her bc i feel like its not her thats the problem, its everyone shes trusted in... i lost that and i know im guilty of it... but i know this, i love that woman so damn much even still and im so willing to change everything about me that would make her happy. She deserves it, but its to late now... all i can do it ask God for forgiveness and help and i pray over her and the kids... i truly hope she can find happiness in whatever comes nxt in her life and i hope she can find forgiveness in her heart for me.. i will always love her and will forever regret the way i let her down. I love you Brittany. 😔 you truly are an Angel.

    • @miguelsoria2174
      @miguelsoria2174 4 года назад +4

      Brother I’m right there with you. I made the mistake and I can’t imagine my life without my wife but she’s set in stone that she wants divorce. I don’t know how I’m going to get through this

    • @mysecretsketchbook865
      @mysecretsketchbook865 4 года назад +3

      Brother anything is possible. My prayers get answered. Pray to God seek forgiveness CRY in front of him. Ask him to send your wife somehow in your life without others intervention. And from youtube play in your home at am/ afternoon SURAH YASIN or SURAH REHMAAN. Please dont be put off, these are in arabic normally recited by a man. And can be loud and at least 8- 16 mins long. Peace from England UK.

    • @mysecretsketchbook865
      @mysecretsketchbook865 4 года назад +1

      @@miguelsoria2174 Brother my prayers get answered I believe in God, the most Merciful. Fear not for this too shall pass. Read my answer to the other brother. Peace from England UK

    • @ThebigGLRams
      @ThebigGLRams 4 года назад

      @@miguelsoria2174 😭

    • @Enlightenmemaybe8
      @Enlightenmemaybe8 4 года назад +6

      Stop always asking God for help. That is the problem. You and she are the problem. You sort it out, not God.

  • @itzhira
    @itzhira 6 лет назад +1

    I was married for 10 months and over all with my husband for 1.5 years. I’m going thru the denial phase and each day is a constant up and down battle. I left and thought it was all my fault. I don’t hate him I love him and bc I left he couldn’t take my back bc of his family. I just want to keep my head up and do all the right steps to help myself thru this. Thank you for this video ♥️

  • @murielgonzalez7154
    @murielgonzalez7154 8 лет назад +11

    I'm going through divorce and it has been so difficult for me this couple of months, what kills me it's the fact that he is in another relationship already. Makes me wonder that I did everything wrong in our relationship, but I know it was both of our faults, even though he walked out and blame me for everything. I'll I could do is move forward. Thanks for this video.

    • @P3P3TEAM0
      @P3P3TEAM0 8 лет назад +1

      How are you feeling now? I am very close to file for divorce... but I am afraid of being alone. I also wonder what I am going to feel if I see him with someone else... although I know we just cannot stay together. He cheated on me and I don't want to stay with him because I can never trust him again. :(

    • @staciecook5217
      @staciecook5217 8 лет назад

      Muriel Gonzalez men always seem to move on so fast

    • @hanyiaabdo164
      @hanyiaabdo164 7 лет назад

      oh girls am going through divorce after living together for 2months and marriage for 2 years my hasband. leave me very badly the country i don't know and he said he didn't want the marriage

    • @Isabellahasan32
      @Isabellahasan32 7 лет назад

      Muriel Gonzalez may god heal you and send you a loving partner to love you out of sadness, i truly am so hurt for you! Im going through separation so hard 😭

  • @animal2155
    @animal2155 5 лет назад +1

    As a father who is going through this right now, you hit the nail right on the head. Your words really gave me a more positive outlook on the whole situation....

  • @Asigedge
    @Asigedge 4 года назад +3

    We first talked divorce in January. He came back on father day and said he was sorry and wanted to work everything out. Yesterday and stills me he wants to let me go because ues depressed and feels like hes holding me back. I was blindsided. The last 5 weeks were amazing. Im so heartbroken. Im so shattered. He said he never wanted to be married and he just didnt want to see me with someone else. Im a hot mess right now. I dont know where to go or what to do. I just want to lay in bed and cry. I dont want this. 8 years Dating, 3 years married and its all over.

  • @heyscalefin
    @heyscalefin 7 лет назад

    It's been a year for me and I feel numb most of the time. But the rest of the time that I dont, there's this twinge that doesn't go away. And there are times when I just feel tired. Rainy days are the worst. And dreams still haunt me. Thank you for reminding me that there will be light at the end of this tunnel.

  • @queenofthecrossroads2613
    @queenofthecrossroads2613 8 лет назад +57

    Thank you for sharing! Going through separation...taking it one day at a time. Blessings!

  • @racheln9304
    @racheln9304 3 года назад +1

    Going through separation and soon divorce with my husband. This has helped me. I am just taking one hour at a time right now. Thank so much for sharing this.

    • @kimobama1767
      @kimobama1767 3 года назад

      I refer you to the powerful man who helped me

    • @kimobama1767
      @kimobama1767 3 года назад

      He can help you get your relationship back on track

    • @kimobama1767
      @kimobama1767 3 года назад

      Whatsapp +2348167230569

  • @K4R3N
    @K4R3N 3 года назад +8

    No relationship can "withstand anything", keep your balance and watch for watching signs and make big adjustments QUICKLY if you value the long term relationship. Take a less stressful job, move to a cheaper house, find simpler outlets/interests, GET HEALTHY etc.

  • @kateb4386
    @kateb4386 5 лет назад +1

    Been separated for abt 10 months just barely coming out of the depression mode I’m exhausted I feel soo heavy tonight feels like there is a weight on my chest a lot of guilt but momma bear is coming thru me again thank you for the video love 💜

    • @iniubongnkanga9390
      @iniubongnkanga9390 5 лет назад

      I feel no one deserves to be in a relationship with a narcissist they are terrible people that feel entitled thank God for my friend who referred me to an hacker and i was able to hack my partner's phone, all i did was to share his phone number with (geniustracker) without touching his phone and see all the proofs i needed for a divorce and even terrible things they had planned contact him to help he is a genius. You can text/call +1 (415) 323-6758 or reach him on WhatsApp +1 (724) 330-3252 and also write to Via Gmail (geniustracker701) thank me later...

  • @SURAH99
    @SURAH99 6 лет назад +4

    I want to thank you for making this video. I was told 2 weeks ago by my Husband of 6 years that he does not love me and does not want to be married anymore. Immediately thereafter, he moved out leaving my 3 year old daughter and I for the 2nd time. I have filed for Divorce and can honestly say, this truly feels like a death. I, too, stayed in my marriage for the last 3 years for the sake of my daughter. I feel destroyed because I feel like I couldn't give her the world like I wanted to. Seeing you cry when speaking about your daughter made me cry because that is exactly how I feel now. Thank you for sharing your story and I am happy for you.

  • @nc732
    @nc732 6 месяцев назад

    You are so sweet and beautiful. Whoever lost you is crazy. I don't know you other than this video, but I only hope after my divorce that I can find someone like you. You are physically magnetic, such a sweet voice, and most of all, your empathy towards your daughter. Your new bf is one lucky fella. May God Bless you and your journey. May only good things come your way.
    -Nick

  • @mrrreddy8067
    @mrrreddy8067 6 лет назад +19

    A lot of people don’t understand this but a divorce/separation is a sign of relief and away out for the best... like my situation.

  • @Dejamfvoodoo
    @Dejamfvoodoo 7 лет назад +1

    I'm literally crying watching this. I recently filed for a divorce. My husband struggles with addiction and it took a tole on my three year old daughter and I. I thought he would get better and when he didn't I slipped into a deep depression. We both began seeing other people and it left My daughter and me homeless eventually. My daughter and I are currently living with my mentally ill mom...which is so tough 😢. Everyday i want to give up because i don't have an education and we're very poor. When i look at my baby..i know that i can't quit. I have to keep going for her sake. I'm scared because i don't want her dad to get custody. He has a great career...and he's mastered hiding his addiction. I just don't want the courts to find me unfit to keep her because i don't have much money. Anyway...thank you for your words. Your experience gives me hope.

    • @amayamayraa7
      @amayamayraa7 2 года назад

      Hey girl I know this is 4 years late, but I hope you are doing very well with your daughter. 💜 I am currently going through the same situation and it's so scary because I as well don't have much money, but the father of my kid does.. I am scared if he takes me to court he can also hide his addictions.. it just sucks going through this.

  • @tarasydnor5624
    @tarasydnor5624 7 лет назад +6

    as a single mother of two and an extremely difficult breakup i NOW realize how strong i am and was trying my best to tell a friend she too will get through this (as her and her hubby are now separating after 17 years) but couldn't remember how to address all of the "stages" because it was over three years ago but you, and your experiences will certainly provide the insight she needs. Im happy to share this with her i feel as though it will be a big help. God bless you and your daughter 💜💙❤

    • @chiebele6690
      @chiebele6690 6 лет назад

      Well done! You talked your Headless friend to come out of her 17yr old marriage. Because of high level of pollution their are higher number of people with cognitive problems, misinterpretation and misrepresentation takes turn but not always the case, out of 17yrs old marriage has underline greediness as a reason. I have upper hand when it comes to the children attention and ears, I may as well have them alone for myself now we are about to start seeing the benefits of having a child or children.

  • @richking1118
    @richking1118 3 года назад +1

    It's been the hardest season of life I have experienced in my life. God has been there for me and has walked with me. I'm almost 1 year in November when separation happened, but I have learned so much about myself during this time. Thank you for sharing.

    • @rosnijonahs868
      @rosnijonahs868 3 года назад

      Hi, get anyone you love or (SP) attracted to you. And also get your EX back coming to you begging you for a second chance through the help of Dr Steve, he helped me restore my 5 years broken relationship. Also Dr Steve always keep up with his words, I will advise you seek his help thanks.

    • @rosnijonahs868
      @rosnijonahs868 3 года назад

      Message him on Whatsapp

    • @rosnijonahs868
      @rosnijonahs868 3 года назад

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  • @tammclin2777
    @tammclin2777 5 лет назад +49

    This is motivational...
    I don’t think I’m going to make it thru this

    • @nurarich4945
      @nurarich4945 5 лет назад +5

      You will take it from me.

    • @madphatchick7782
      @madphatchick7782 4 года назад +5

      How are you? I feel so broken yet hopeful

    • @hiddengemsandpolishedarrow7482
      @hiddengemsandpolishedarrow7482 4 года назад

      Hope your in a better place and that your heart has been healing, Sis.

    • @DB-uz1mw
      @DB-uz1mw 4 года назад +2

      You will make it u are strong and God's got u.

    • @mysecretsketchbook865
      @mysecretsketchbook865 4 года назад

      Hiya i dont know anything about you but Sometimes the evil eye, another woman and black magic are behind many breakups, fights and divorces. Taz trust your instincts who you let around your children , niece's, and who you let in your life. Take extra care when going on holidays and who to trust around your children Peace from England UK

  • @cassieheinz8002
    @cassieheinz8002 7 лет назад

    oh my gosh, I am balling my eyes out and I literally just FELT your pain. I am in this exact spot. I can barely get up every day, work, and enjoy anything in life. I have tons of guilt for ways I ruined our relationship and I need to forgive myself and take it as a blessing and just learn from it. That SO much easier said than done.

  • @daliamagadan80
    @daliamagadan80 5 лет назад +3

    My sister is going through this right now. Thank you for sharing this maybe I can help her now.

  • @chadewing8246
    @chadewing8246 3 года назад +1

    Thank you. We just filed. I am so scared right now. Thank you for sharing your experience with me it truly gave me some insight. Thank you for opening up like that you’re an amazing woman. I hope you have a beautiful day🌞🙏

    • @dlugoleckidenis9602
      @dlugoleckidenis9602 3 года назад

      Sometimes things don't go the way we plan them, that's why we have so many people divorcing these days.
      On the other hand, if you don't feel happy again, you think your partner is hiding something, I know a guy who can get the proof you need for you to get out of a toxic relationship and a cheating partner.
      Contact him via WhatsApp

    • @dlugoleckidenis9602
      @dlugoleckidenis9602 3 года назад

      + 1 6 3 1 8 7 0 7 2 2 9

  • @shirleyholloway5403
    @shirleyholloway5403 7 лет назад +4

    You are so brave for doing this. I have officially been divorced for 8 months but had been separated for 3 years, it took almost a year to finalize. I went through all those stages for several years. I was with this man for 20 years and experienced emotional and physical abuse. I don't want to be the person I was before. In a matter of fact I heard Sarah Jakes Roberts say when we go through things like this we are not grieving the person we where with we are grieving the person we use to be. That made me feel really good because I am living the best life I have lived, I am becoming the best version of myself. I know my divorce saved my life and my future is so much better than my past. As look back I went through all those stages and denial was the one I stayed in for the longest but that is the one that hurt me the worst. I was miserable being in a marriage that I knew was over a very very long time ago. Misery is staying in a marriage that is over. I would suggest SELF CARE and knowing your worth because you deserve the best that God has for you. God Bless:)

  • @sgarber8813
    @sgarber8813 3 года назад +1

    Thank you!!! This described me almost exactly. I really struggled with the guilt of not making it work and letting things go so far. I'm just now working through the acceptance process

  • @zcxvasdfqwer1234
    @zcxvasdfqwer1234 6 лет назад +484

    Don't get married...its a scam.

    • @VoIPPortland
      @VoIPPortland 5 лет назад +19

      It isn't just the woman that financially rapes you. The judges and lawyers rape you also as you have NO RIGHTS including NO Constitutional Rights in Family Court. Figure in reality that she gets 60% (inc support payments, etc), you get 20%, and the 'system' keeps the other 20%.
      The whole common saying that she 'gets half' isn't really accurate. Many men have been left with NOTHING.

    • @jerbear6947
      @jerbear6947 5 лет назад +8

      I didn’t get married. But lived together for 12 years. And had 2 kids. I don’t think it’s fully about being married or not that’s its a scam. Yes it has its legal issues. But I think it’s more about loosing yourself in a relationship and forcing yourself to stay for which ever reasons that has its effects for splitting up. And choosing what is called love but actually not knowing what actual love is. Once the person becomes totally explored do you get bored and loose interest? Then if so what is love to you. Is the question. Must ask yourself to whom it may concern.

    • @jerbear6947
      @jerbear6947 4 года назад

      sla cker yes that is one way to live. But to truly understand and grasp the difficulties and the positives of having a long term partner and having kids with them. It kinda helps make sense to a you why the way of Family exists. To be in a group of 2 people with off spring that you guys created. And those off spring have elements of both adults. It brings this special love feeling and understanding that I never knew existed. You get to see the goods and bads in the way things are in your own personalities of you and your loved one in the children. It’s very weird when you see your child acting a certain way and the other spouse steps in and says a certain thing because they are aware of that way of acting, which was not biologically your way., Having kids really teaches a person lot more about themselves and their childhood. I think being a parent for some A person can dip in and out of scenarios that they would never experience otherwise. It’s always easy to care for other people‘s kids because they’re only around for a little bit. But when you have your kids that are around forever it takes a different approach and understanding. I’m still learning myself and maybe I’ll learn for the rest of my life but I feel like at some point it will all make sense. To live with no’s spouse or children possibly could be a great miss for some of that life has to offer. To be old and never participated in that part of life would seem kind of single oriented. Almost like a person never dared to take on life to its fullest they may have played it safe by only having to look after themselves which is not too hard to do. Hope all that makes sense.

    • @josephbenadam
      @josephbenadam 4 года назад

      Scam ? It's a business for women

    • @Valentina_-lw9ui
      @Valentina_-lw9ui 4 года назад

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  • @lz607
    @lz607 7 лет назад

    that's so brave of you sharing your own experience. It is not easy to stand out and expose the vulnerability of you to the public. I am formally 5-month post-separation now and will be getting the divorce paperwork done later this year. I guess I am kind at the stage of depression and find it extremely difficult to go over this. Deeply inside I know things will pass eventually but when I am still experiencing this, I just can't be as fine as I expected.
    Thanks for spreading the positive energy. It always takes time.

  • @Judymontel
    @Judymontel 8 лет назад +32

    Thanks for doing this video. The way you described the stages starting even before the divorce technically takes place echoes what I've been experiencing. Watching this helped me a lot.

  • @amanda.thinksalot
    @amanda.thinksalot 4 года назад +1

    You are amazing and brave. This has helped me so much right now. I’m going through all of this at the moment. I feel like there aren’t enough people who are sharing their experiences like this. I can relate so much to the being in denial in the relationship to try to preserve that idea that was built up by religious thoughts and just from thoughts of being a good person. I held onto that for so much longer than I should have and held so much guilt as a result that I’m still shedding and contending with. Thank you so much for sharing your experience. It has really helped me to not feel so alone going through this.

  • @foreverinthekitchen8
    @foreverinthekitchen8 3 года назад +3

    This is literally what I am going through right now. It’s been 7 years and nothing has changed. He’s a serial cheater and does absolutely nothing for me but provide for me and our son. I caught him cheating again after we got back together from a separation and close divorce where HE begged for me to make it work again. He finally told me he’s done and wants the divorce, how he is unhappy and it will never get better and although I know deep in my heart he is right and I want the same thing, it’s so painful. I can’t eat or sleep.

  • @elenylekas9272
    @elenylekas9272 6 лет назад

    Thank you I feel a little less alone right now. When you know it’s the best for everyone envolved yet you can’t stop crying because it’s over.

  • @Pamelina1111
    @Pamelina1111 8 лет назад +90

    This is why you shouldn't start another relationship before you're completely over the grief. It's not fair to a new person in your life. Your unfinished business will rear its head and ultimately damage your new life.

    • @ByeByeBelly
      @ByeByeBelly 6 лет назад +9

      Hahahah
      HAHAHAHAHAHA
      You never "get over" certain grief. A person who was in a long term abusive relationship and went through divorce will never be the same. So if anyone feels that way, make sure you don't date anyone with "baggage" or trauma or mental health issues. Goodluck with that

    • @mohotsi
      @mohotsi 6 лет назад +1

      That is even more foolish to start q relstionship in dating a married person. Why not do things differently

    • @nickt1072
      @nickt1072 5 лет назад

      I hope this happens to my soon to be ex

    • @lavendascloset
      @lavendascloset  5 лет назад

      Pat Gray time really helps, but yes. All relationships takes work. The best chance we have at staying in one is to work on ourselves and then expect to have a lot of grace and experience a lot of compromise. :)

    • @lavendascloset
      @lavendascloset  5 лет назад

      Bye Bye Belly that’s definitely a whole other level of difficulty. Which I’ve experienced. :(

  • @anacarrillo8448
    @anacarrillo8448 6 лет назад +1

    It's a blessing to see you made it through. I'm trying to make it through. I'm married with 3 babies, and I'm pregnant while my husband is out cheating on me. I found out when I was a month pregnant. I wish I was 2 years into the future where everything is better and everything has healed

    • @Thesidsentinel
      @Thesidsentinel 6 лет назад +1

      Wow that's horrible. Honestly my husband wouldnt get the privilege of another child if he did that. I'd probably take the abortion pill

  • @GypsyCellist
    @GypsyCellist 4 года назад +3

    I needed to see this video. I'm trying to write this through streams of tears. Thank you for sharing your experience. How open and honest you were with it. I know you felt what I feel now. It hurts so bad. Soo so bad. But, you got through the storm and that gives me hope. I have a five year old and it's killing my soul knowing what he's observing and him realizing the family he loves so much is ending. He used to tell us every day, " Mommy, daddy... I love my family. " I'm broken. I did everything I could.

    • @trellnba176
      @trellnba176 4 года назад +1

      DR ORDIA was able to bring back my ex wife and it works very fast and I believe he can solve your relationship problems 🙏

    • @trellnba176
      @trellnba176 4 года назад +1

      Delivery Girl text him on what's app 🙏🙏

    • @trellnba176
      @trellnba176 4 года назад

      +2348077751695...

    • @GypsyCellist
      @GypsyCellist 4 года назад

      Trell NBA thank you so much for this. I will definitely look Dr. Ordia up. Much gratitude 🙏🙏🙏

  • @carolynjames-okpo3426
    @carolynjames-okpo3426 3 года назад +1

    Hi Lavenda, I know this was many years ago and I hope you're still on your journey to healing. I just wanted to comment that Brene Brown says that it is OK, and in fact important, to allow our children to see us struggle. This normalizes struggle and provides them a model for coping.

  • @thefitgamerdad
    @thefitgamerdad 3 года назад +4

    Obviously I’m not a woman but I feel your pain. I’m currently in the midst of experiencing the same. I have two daughters (6months and 1.5 yr old) I’m hurting so bad because I don’t want to lose my daughters. I just feel so lonely and I don’t know what to do anymore

    • @kidjeff4304
      @kidjeff4304 Год назад

      how are you doing nowadays brother? I am a few months in and hoping for better days.

  • @Kiittzzyykiittyy
    @Kiittzzyykiittyy 5 лет назад

    I really needed this. I'm letting go of 5 almost 6 years, go. We have two children a 3 year old and a 1 year old... but I have hope, things will get better. I rather my children see me happy not sad.

  • @missmissiw
    @missmissiw 8 лет назад +4

    I really needed this today as I am going through something similar with my little boy and my four year old daughter Ella. Thank you for your strength!

    • @lavendascloset
      @lavendascloset  8 лет назад

      Oh I'm so sorry to hear that. My heart goes out to your whole little family. It's so painful, but you will get through it. Pain is a part of our lives and luckily, with mamas who love their kids, we tend to have this super-human resource that you'll tap into to make it work- one day at a time. How are things now? I know you wrote this 3 months ago....?

    • @suchkojano1
      @suchkojano1 3 года назад

      Hi

  • @rhymerox5821
    @rhymerox5821 3 года назад +1

    I’m struggling. And this has been a hard experience for myself and my children . I’m in the depression stage and it’s been 2 years separation ending in divorce. This video was comforting

    • @miaamelia1753
      @miaamelia1753 3 года назад

      I know of a man who can attract back your ex within 48 hours ... He wwas the one who brought back my ex within 48 hours, ever since I got back with my ex I have been enjoying my reunion with him.

    • @miaamelia1753
      @miaamelia1753 3 года назад

      What"'sApp him

    • @miaamelia1753
      @miaamelia1753 3 года назад

      +1 =9 1 4==2 2 8==2 0 4 1

  • @danv7281
    @danv7281 4 года назад +3

    "Make it work and brush it under the rug" spot on!! my ex too went through this "party stage" in the marriage as it was ending. and it hurt to see. Got married too young- 2012-2013. Im now 36 and a totally different man that I was at 28. This is such an open vulnerable video- honestly blows me away. As men A LOT of us simply just weren't taught or shown how to be a husband. Being a BF can be a part time job and you "get away with it", but being a husband is being a life partner. Many of us aren't ready or prepared for that role. The crappy part is when we are ready, mid 30s maybe, the dating pool has shrunk. Life is funny sometimes.

    • @jazziem2347
      @jazziem2347 4 года назад +1

      28 isn't that young to get married... 28 is around the age the human brain is supposed to be fully developed.

  • @danaeh8449
    @danaeh8449 7 лет назад

    I really needed this video. I'm separated and soon to be a 23 year old divorcee. I feel like I'm going through multiple stages of grief, particularly anger. I've really been battling with myself to get through this for my two little boys. This is by far one of the most difficult experiences of my life, but your video brought clarity that this is only temporary. Thank you.

  • @crazyunicorn5865
    @crazyunicorn5865 5 лет назад +24

    Finally reached the “Acceptance” stage.

    • @suchkojano1
      @suchkojano1 3 года назад

      Hi

    • @K4R3N
      @K4R3N 3 года назад

      Hello

    • @suchkojano1
      @suchkojano1 3 года назад

      @@K4R3Nhw r u

    • @K4R3N
      @K4R3N 3 года назад

      @@suchkojano1 ha, well we have sold our large family home we have all been living for ten years. Soon to be ex wife (married almost 20 years!) has her own place and I am getting my own.. 3 kids we will share. Entire life I have lived.with family, first day I will be alone in 43 years begins tomorrow. The relationship was not working. I will miss the kids. Trying to be brave. But I have good new job and I am focusing on my health. Ready for the future! CALM future in my control. ;)

    • @suchkojano1
      @suchkojano1 3 года назад

      @@K4R3N where you from

  • @ThisBraveHeart
    @ThisBraveHeart 3 года назад +2

    I have a 2 year old and I’m pregnant with our second child, but I feel like I can’t go on living this life for my children. My husband isn’t going to change his ways and that’s become very clear now. I really feel so heart broken because I love him with all my heart and I want my child to have a father. But I’m also feeling stuck because I’m a stay at home mom, I have nothing of my own. I’m just hurting.

  • @Kerrviii
    @Kerrviii 4 года назад +21

    Thank you so much. This gave me so much hope. My divorce is finalized.
    Edit: when you cried I felt that. I carried so much guilt and that’s the hardest part for me to get over. 💜

    • @chrisjohnson2246
      @chrisjohnson2246 4 года назад

      I'm so sorry I know how it feels to be lonely without the person you love, such is life I understand how you feel but life goes on, I lost my wife 3yrs ago to a terrible heart disease, I felt deeply devastated with grief, but that's the past now, time is indeed the best healer I'd love to talk to you more if you don't mind it'd be nice if you just say hi here is my number +1206-237-2054

    • @suchkojano1
      @suchkojano1 3 года назад

      Hi

    • @jamesdewer
      @jamesdewer 2 года назад

      I gave away a vacation home in Tahoe without even her asking. That is guilt.

  • @mystichippiee
    @mystichippiee 3 года назад

    I needed to hear this. I’ve been avoiding videos about divorce but what you explained in the anger and depression part is what I feel. It makes me feel guilty and numb. This is very hard.

    • @hemantchaudhary3773
      @hemantchaudhary3773 3 года назад

      Hello .i want serious relationship.I want a girl who really loves me. Even if she is divorced

  • @clarity1984
    @clarity1984 3 года назад +6

    "I wanted my girl to feel loved and safe and like that world wasn't broken". That pierced my heart. I am currently separating from my husband, and we have a 2-year-old. This is exactly how I feel and why I am finding this process so devastating.

    • @beckyanna7287
      @beckyanna7287 3 года назад

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      @beckyanna7287 3 года назад

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    • @jamesdewer
      @jamesdewer 2 года назад +1

      That's a living nightmare, god bless.

    • @Allthingzboxing817
      @Allthingzboxing817 2 года назад

      me too smh

  • @thegamingchef3304
    @thegamingchef3304 7 лет назад

    I have grieved more in my divorce than I have losing any loved ones. I am a pretty strong dude mentally, but I was on a job and just broke down and started shedding tears. I have talked to this woman since I was in high school...So between then and our wedding that was 14 years. She is the only other woman outside my mother I deeply loved, and the only woman I even dated. So to see my marriage fail after a year and 7 months is a tough pill to swallow.

  • @cathyb0110
    @cathyb0110 8 лет назад +5

    I'm going through a separation right now and it honestly just feels good to be able to relate to someone out there that is going through a similar situation especially to know that there is hope. Sending your daughter and you lots of love. Xoxoxo

    • @lavendascloset
      @lavendascloset  8 лет назад

      Oh, I'm so glad it could help. I know it's always so scary and you can feel alone.... Know that it's normal and if you keep to it, it does get better :)

    • @suchkojano1
      @suchkojano1 3 года назад

      @@lavendascloset hi

  • @katwhitlock4510
    @katwhitlock4510 5 лет назад

    I am currently going through this, the separation actually began 4 days ago. After everything that's happened I had started to lose hope. This video gave me hope again.

  • @lighthsekpr
    @lighthsekpr 4 года назад +3

    Thank you for your sincerity about divorce. Unfortunately, both my daughters are going through divorce. One has no children and stayed hoping and trying very hard to make it work, one sided, and lived with an addict in denial. The other had her husband leave for another woman who he impregnated. They have a five year old daughter who is struggling to understand. Your video speaks truth as I watch each go through this process. God Bless you and Ella.

    • @mofyakunda7637
      @mofyakunda7637 3 года назад

      How are your daughters doing now? I have gone through divorce myself and my mum comforted me very much during the process.

    • @lighthsekpr
      @lighthsekpr 3 года назад

      @@mofyakunda7637 thanks for asking. My daughter married to the addict divorce is final. She found a man who treats her well fortunately. My other daughter has my granddaughter. He is still an idiot, but she is empowered and doing better without him yet her broken heart is healing. We talk daily....I’m glad your mom was there for you. It’s just as hard for us to watch believe me. I pray a lot.

    • @mofyakunda7637
      @mofyakunda7637 3 года назад

      @@lighthsekpr We thank God that things are better. Indeed recovery is a process. May the good Lord bless you and family.

  • @kayceekofalt2724
    @kayceekofalt2724 5 лет назад +1

    Thank you for sharing. While you released this years ago, it helped me today. My divorce was finalized 6/12/19 and I relate to being “raw”!
    I appreciate you.

  • @michelleb2020
    @michelleb2020 8 лет назад +86

    The loneliness and failure AND religious feeling of conviction is THE WORST 😔 thank you for the upload sweetie

    • @lavendascloset
      @lavendascloset  8 лет назад +4

      Oh girl. I'm so sorry. I know the religious component can add another level of guilt. Know that those who truly love you will understand that you tried everything you could. Let the feeling of judgement pass. Work through it. Forgive yourself when you finally can. I send you my love.

    • @MrFury777
      @MrFury777 7 лет назад +1

      thats sad ....love the one your with xx

    • @harley6182
      @harley6182 5 лет назад +1

      Wait till 15 years in like me. You will not give a shit about any of those things.

  • @thehappyveganbelly1482
    @thehappyveganbelly1482 7 лет назад +1

    Don't feel guilty! You daughter wouldn't be able to see her parents in love and how marriage (or similar relationships) can be special and meaningful, if you didn't separate. I truly think it's more inspiring for any child to see the parents separate (if they don't love each other) and fall in love again with their right persons, or even just being single and strong. You deserve to love and be loved, and your daughter wont have to feel responsible/guilty for her parents staying together spitefully just for her. Stay strong and good luck! 😊

  • @touiederosas2013
    @touiederosas2013 4 года назад +5

    I am a guy and this is definitely very eye opening! I can actually feel what you are saying as it is what is happening to my soon to be ex. I love her so much and I want to link this video to her just to help her out. But of course Im not in the right place to do so. At the end of it all, I just want to be a really good friend to her. Thank you for this video, hope it helps alot of you guys/girls out there! Beautiful life is ahead!

  • @jillmswift
    @jillmswift 6 лет назад

    I know someone this will really help. At the moment they only see a bleak future. Hearing your story will give them hope xx

  • @AldoraMuses321
    @AldoraMuses321 8 лет назад +11

    Awww i'm speechless! Sending you a BIG HUG all the way to u Lavenda 🙆🏻 stay strong for your daughter ✨

    • @lavendascloset
      @lavendascloset  8 лет назад

      +Aldora Muses Thanks so much girl! Hope you have a great weekend.

  • @lucybuglass7754
    @lucybuglass7754 4 года назад +1

    Thank you so much for this. I especially resonated with the denial stage, as we also went through a period of 'oh let's work on our relationship' but nothing changed and if anything we both slipped into bad habits and made things worse. I wish we'd seen the light sooner.

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      @jeffreywilson7225 3 года назад

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  • @ivonnecosta1579
    @ivonnecosta1579 6 лет назад +3

    Thank you so much! I needed this. I'm currently in the process and I'm at the depression stage. Got passed the Anger and Bargaining, but definitely went thru it. Thank you again

  • @anewloveofficial9137
    @anewloveofficial9137 6 лет назад +2

    Divorce stage is such painful time, not just for the both of you but it affects more to you're children.
    But don't worry, it will all go through. Time heals all wounds.
    And I just want to give you a bit of advice, you shouldn't start another relationship before you're completely over him. Be strong and always pray to God to guide you.

  • @Linx77777
    @Linx77777 5 лет назад +5

    I love my husband and I don’t want to get a divorce yet I was the one who asked for it because our home is just so toxic. I have been with him since I was 16, now I’m 29. I have never felt more alone and hopeless. I know Jesus is there but this process hurts so much. I don’t want to eat and if it was up to me then I would just take a bunch of sleeping pills and sleep. If I make it through this then I don’t think I would ever get married again.

    • @drsxo7454
      @drsxo7454 4 года назад

      Victoria Llanos this is how I currently feel. I’ve been with my husband from 16-31

  • @dwongson
    @dwongson 5 лет назад

    Thank you for the video. I've just started the my process but feels like when you say "swinging back and forth" I feel like I'm swinging through the phases. Not sure why, but just listening to you talk through it really impacted me. None of my friends have gone through this so it's really difficult to find someone to speak to with experience. Thank you for the video.

  • @lillith885
    @lillith885 7 лет назад +9

    I was married for 9 years I guess I'm going through anger and depression.
    thank you for the video

  • @alysoncuster3646
    @alysoncuster3646 6 лет назад

    Wow thanks for the honesty I am just now leaving the denial and anger phase and moving into bargaining and depression

  • @feligangte4084
    @feligangte4084 5 лет назад +10

    You're are such a courageous person..i wish i am one as well.

  • @IAM-qu6le
    @IAM-qu6le 4 года назад +2

    U hit the heart when u said intense loneliness! After a year and half nothing changed. We were roommates the entire time. I would sacrifice staying up at night to spend time with him. He always came home to the TV instead of me. I begged for joining me at church and marriage classes at church. But his work schedule never changed. We just continued to be passing ships.Thank u for your video and sharing your experience. 🙏

  • @ilianaaquino2729
    @ilianaaquino2729 4 года назад +9

    Thank you, I needed to hear that “it will get better with time “.

  • @Coco-zl8mm
    @Coco-zl8mm 4 года назад +1

    I am in a unhappy marriage, don't know whether he will stay or leave me...The fear of leaving him is soo depressing and scary.... Thanks for the video somewhere it calmed me

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  • @senoraantero2836
    @senoraantero2836 4 года назад +5

    “The idea of marriage” 😭.. Yup, I have 3 year old twin girls and I have been bargaining since they were babies. I can’t anymore and it sucks. Because I know that he and I will be okay, but we didn’t bring them in this world to give them a “broken home.” But I can only do my part, if my husband of almost 9 years (together for 11) doesn’t do his part, it can’t work. Acceptance is a hard pill to swallow.

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  • @Sarah-os5ud
    @Sarah-os5ud 4 года назад

    This was so great to listen to you! Thank you so much for sharing your journey through such a horrible thing. I'm at the beginning of my divorce and it's a long scary road ahead but with God and people like You I know I'm going to get through this stronger then I ever have been. I also have two sons I'm ready for the other side for there sake. Being with they're Dad was not good for anyone the last year especially. Thank you so much! God Bless Your Family!

    • @meilang7389
      @meilang7389 3 года назад

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  • @markf2720
    @markf2720 5 лет назад +7

    I'm single and celibate. I do not have to worry about the following things:
    heartbreak, being cheated upon, jealousy, divorce, alimony, stds, AIDS, erectile dysfunction, autistic kid, son being bullied at school, daughter becoming a teenage mom...etc.
    ever in my life!

    • @patrickpelletier3104
      @patrickpelletier3104 2 года назад +1

      Good job listing the things you won't have to deal with.
      More than a little lacking on the list of things you'll be missing out on...

  • @johnheward7276
    @johnheward7276 3 года назад +1

    Appreciate this video. Currently going through a divorce with someone I'm still madly in love with. Was completely blindsided by her wanting to seperate and eventually get a divorce. It's extra hard because of my beautiful 5 year boy. Trying so hard to stay strong for him and be a good example.

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      @dlugoleckidenis9602 3 года назад

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    • @KB82424
      @KB82424 Год назад

      Hey hope your doing better!!! I’m going through this same exact thing

  • @nadiajosie-delerme4630
    @nadiajosie-delerme4630 6 лет назад +3

    Thank you so much for this video. I am about 2years post divorce as well. I am definitely going through those stages. It feels like no one understands. Most people feel that I should be over it already. However I am just still so in love with the idea of being married and my family (3boys) being a complete unit. I think I am in the depression stage. I really feel like I want to end it sometimes. The feelings of guilt, loss of focus, disappointment, feeling completely broken all while trying to keep it together. Wow. The kids definitely keep me grounded and optimistic. Thank you for showing me that these feelings are normal and that there is an end. Looks like I'm almost there.

  • @beckyblack9014
    @beckyblack9014 7 лет назад

    I'm not sure what stage i am in but all i can do is cry now, and i found your video inspiring. I'm not sure how to deal with my emotions knowing my husband is never coming back and is now a woman. I'm sorry to get so personal i just keep crying so much in my car, bathroom at work, laying on my bed starring at the ceiling. I just miss what my marriage was like when it was good.

    • @chrisjohnson2246
      @chrisjohnson2246 4 года назад

      I'm so sorry I know how it feels to be lonely without the person you love, such is life I understand how you feel but life goes on, I lost my wife 3yrs ago to a terrible heart disease, I felt deeply devastated with grief, but that's the past now, time is indeed the best healer I'd love to talk to you more if you don't mind it'd be nice if you just say hi here is my number +1206-237-2054

  • @anjalinair187
    @anjalinair187 6 лет назад +20

    It would have been so good if couples could read the love and affection through each others eyes.. 😔

  • @candyforeman6053
    @candyforeman6053 3 года назад +2

    Going through a divorce was the worst feeling in the world. For me it was like someone died, my husband whom I loved was truly no good for me. He was very toxic and manipulative. In the divorcing stage, I did nothing but cry all the time soon after the denial stage. After I stopped crying I have went into an angry stage where I constantly told off or lashed out my husband alot. But I have gotten to the point where I need to move on and let this pain go. The best remedy for me that I have been listening to motivational videos and just giving myself over to God.

    • @stephaniemchh6476
      @stephaniemchh6476 3 года назад

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      @stephaniemchh6476 3 года назад

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      @stephaniemchh6476 3 года назад

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  • @kelligonsalves943
    @kelligonsalves943 4 года назад +3

    Wow, I have been divorced for 10 years and I'am still in all 5 stages , We got divorced because I ended up with very bad depression and an eating disorder and I still have both. I will never forget I called him at work on a Wednesday at 9 am and he told me over the phone we need to talk when he get's home. I just lost it on the phone and started crying and really every time I think about it even to this day I still tear up. Well that's just a bit of it . thank you for your video

  • @jessicaarnold8316
    @jessicaarnold8316 6 лет назад

    The guilt is real. Thank-you. Crying with you. 2 kids and divorced. 2 years post and still depressed about it about twice a week sometimes more.

    • @chrisjohnson2246
      @chrisjohnson2246 4 года назад

      I'm so sorry I know how it feels to be lonely without the person you love, such is life I understand how you feel but life goes on, I lost my wife 3yrs ago to a terrible heart disease, I felt deeply devastated with grief, but that's the past now, time is indeed the best healer I'd love to talk to you more if you don't mind it'd be nice if you just say hi here is my number +1206-237-2054

  • @ISY_Dear
    @ISY_Dear 7 лет назад +52

    My parents divorced just today and.....I can't do anything anymore I feel like everything is falling apart....

    • @lavendascloset
      @lavendascloset  7 лет назад +11

      Definitely talk to them love. I know how overwhelming it feels, but I PROMISE it gets better. :)

    • @cweepypasta1313
      @cweepypasta1313 6 лет назад +4

      It will be okay. My parents divorced today too... my mom said “Me and dad need to talk to you two at dinner” (me and my sister) and they told us they are getting divorced. I’m scared and sad

    • @EmpressofChrist
      @EmpressofChrist 6 лет назад +1

      KIAM DEAR 😢

    • @brenbrenbrenbren
      @brenbrenbrenbren 6 лет назад +1

      KIAM DEAR same😢😢

    • @mohotsi
      @mohotsi 6 лет назад +3

      It is a bit selfish of them.

  • @LeilaNoelliste
    @LeilaNoelliste 6 лет назад +1

    I am at the bargaining stage. Thank you so much for this video. I am still on my journey.