I learned a lot about my own Grief experiences researching the difference between Loneliness and being Alone with my Grief. Let me know in the comments below if the same is true for you! 🙏🏻 If you would like to learn more about the ways we could work together tell me where to send the information. chipper-pioneer-5821.ck.page/880a09336a
Jo, it is just over six weeks since my wife passed. It continues to be very,very painful for me. The periods of respite I have found because I discovered your kind and wise words. I am very much on my own, and your kindness generates a trust I need so much. I try exercises, breathing, self-awareness, but find I am experiencing two days of hell and one more normal day in between. You are a voice of kind Canadian sympathy with kind eyes and no axe to grind. I just wanted to say that as time matures you are my help in need, for now. You are a true blessing, kind lady. Thank you. Edward.
I’d love to know the difference as I feel so alone and lonely and though my husband is still here he’s not the same man I married 42 yrs ago. He was my safe harbor for so many yrs as I’d been traumatized many times in my life. I miss the way he’d comfort me when I hurt. He tries and I’m grateful but it’s not the same. I have no close family and no friends where we now live when we left our home of 30 yrs when my husband had to retire. Shortly after I got us moved my health got hit again and I’ve spent the last 8 yrs suffering a lot. The stress has done much damage and I’ve had some close calls the past few yrs. I want to live so I can be here for him so I’m willing to learn all I can.
I find that Ashwagandha can be helpful as it lowers cortisol levels. Approaching the 1st year after losing my beloved wife. Still a difficult time for me.
I know exactly why my grief is "lonely". After I lost my wife, I got sick and tired of all the fake sympathy. It was like a slap in the face every time. So I quit talking to everybody. After 4 years I am still grieving, but I have learned the difference between lonely and alone. And I'm much happier alone.
Sometimes it's difficult to explain what I need to others when I don't even know. I don't want to be alone all of the time, but I don't want to be a burden either. Sometimes I just need a hug or someone who is okay with just being present or willing to listen. I don't ask for much. I guess they're not used to me asking for anything. I just don't know. I don't feel like I belong anywhere anymore.
This is so profound! That is exactly how I’m feeling too. It is a very lonely place to be when nobody you know can relate to your grief. 😭 I lost a son 6 years ago. I feel stuck in my grief!!! I’m inconsolable😟
Jennifer, you have expressed my feelings exactly! I don’t want to be a burden, I don’t know what to ask for to help with my loneliness….my pain of losing the dearest person in the world to me. I have been blessed with “angel” friends who care and just listen. It doesn’t take away the grief, but it does bring moments of comfort. That is all we can hope for, I think, moments of comfort that help us get through one day at a time.
I watched him suffer, I saw him die but all I was able to do was sit close by. All I want is to hold him one more time. God eased his pain but broke my heart. This grief and anxiety is so real!
I can so relate to your post. I lost my husband of 39 years two months ago. He was on daily dialysis for the past 7 years and I was his caregiver. I too watched him pass and feel as you do. His pain and discomfort has stopped, mine began the second he passed.
I understand both of you. I also lost my husband 2 years ago. He was suffering from cancer he couldn't breathe lungs calaups also high anxiety attacks knowing that he was leaving us. I still feel the same I miss him every day and every holiday people think because I'm smiling I'm okay but all the opposite it's another holiday without my love😢
I understand. My husband died almost 2 years ago. He went in for a robotic heart surgery. He was in great shape and elected to fix a valve now instead of later. It went terribly wrong. I never got to hug him, or even know if he understood me telling him it was ok to go on. Hooked up to everything, all l could do was touch and talk. Bits at a time. 3 days and he was gone. I was absolutely lost and foggy headed. Expecting him to drive down the driveway. So hard! So missed by everyone.
@@josieg1111 Same here. My partner of 30 years died in my arms. Cancer and a poor doctor decision stole him from me. I will never be the same person I was.
Yes. Very lonely. And people don’t even try. It becomes more about people saying. Oh they just don’t know what to do or say so they do nothing or that people are just busy in their own lives. Like it’s my responsibility to be on top of and understand others struggle and lack of care of my grief and losses and they don’t listen or hear when I tell them I feel alone. Why aren’t people even checking on me. Always excuses of others but not hearing me and being there. It’s confusing and I feel it is very unkind and always about them. Hurtful
I lost my husband Greg 12/22/2023. Now i am so lonely, and my grief seems like it gets worst everyday I feel so lost without him, we been together since i was 18 and Greg 20.
I'm very sorry about your husband, trust me I completely understand how you feel, I felt the same way when my wife past away June 4th 2018 grief is hard to deal with but we learn to live with it, where are you from..?..:..,
My wife passed away four weeks ago and I feel so isolated, and know , there is no one coming to rescue me, even though they are present, there is nothing they can do or say to help me.
One of the problems with modern day society is that people consider you toxic and draining if you're honest about feeling low. I'm very lonely and depressed in my grief and it would help me to have supportive friends, but I've found no friends are willing to listen and be present with me, the way I have been with others. I can't go to a new social group and just cry or feel sad, I'd have to put on a happy act. Society has made it taboo to be anything except positive and happy and I find that achingly sad and lonely in itself.
Try finding a grief group as you will find a safe space to just 'be' in your grief. Everyone gets it. It's a social group that no-one would elect to belong to voluntarily but we're all glad exists.
I agree with Emma. I started going to a 13 week grief program in March 2022 just 3 months after my husband died. This group was my life preserver. It was the only place I really felt safe and understood. The facilitators were great also. Even though the formal program ended, we all still get together frequently. .....They get it.
@@Indybluesgirl I go to a pet loss support group which helps, it's in another country but its on zoom. There are no grief support groups where I live locally or online. They all shut down in the lockdowns. People tend to say 'start one yourself' but I'm too much in pain to do that at the moment. There just isn't much support out there for grievers in my country, I'm not sure why but it's totally rubbish. If either of you can recommend any grief support groups on zoom then let me know.
After sixty-four years together I lost my wonderful wife Judy last July, 2022 as I sat at her bedside at home and watched her die in front of me. She was relaxed and alert to the end. 'I don't know how to die - what do i do? she said. Breast cancer over the the past 12 years had , in a way, prepared us for what was to come ( although we did not quite believe it, as it went on for so long). Within minutes she had breathed her last and my nightmare began. It is now early summer and April 2023 heralds a new beginning which accentuates the devastation of my grief. It is comforting to know I am not alone in my painful grief. My tribute to my Judy is on RUclips (judyv4) - I do feel so sorry for those who mourn - my heart goes out to you.
Yes I understand. I lost my love of my life 65 years of the most loving relationship. How do you carry on. I have no idea at all, Just miss HER . GRIEF IS ALL CONSUMING
I've suffered a lot of loss. And on one of my very grievous days, I was at a hospital to see a specialist and he gave me bad news and as I was leaving the facility, I realized that I could not find my car. I was so frustrated and alone and I burst into tears. Suddenly, a woman who saw me thru the glass from inside her office ran out to me in the street and just hugged me, and said "Baby, it's gonna be alright". Sometimes that's all it takes.
Grief is such a confusing and changing process. I often feel lonely as my husband and I spent alot of time together and we were best friends. the hard issue for me is the loss and knowing I will never have a relationship like this again.
This is exactly how I feel. The loss of my wife of 51 years can never be replaced. Like you I know that I will never have a relationship like that again
I have been very disappointed in people in my experience of losing my daughter instead of acknowledging it-they act like it never happened-it is the most cruel thing ever to do to someone and makes one feel very alone
Imagine yourself trying to comfort someone in their myriad of grief after just having lost someone dear... Sometimes we just don't know the right words to say to comfort the grieving individual. Most people say "I'm sorry for your loss" for lack of more compassionate words. While their acknowledgment is nice, they may feel the need to say something else. For example, I heard someone say "God had other plans for your beloved". That doesn't always resonate, for many reasons. Please consider that might be the case in your situation.
I can understand so well...I experience a quite similar thing. Instead of being kinda sensitive they just turn away from you. Instead of being there they avoid the contact. As If they couldn,t bear me with my grief. It makes me very lonely. But I take it as a chance to grow.
Loneliness isn't from being alone. My loneliness is missing my wife. I have no problem being alone, my issue is being without her! We built a life for 30 years, that can never be filled, ever.
Yes fully understand and agree. So empty and so very lonely without her presence after 49years. Very Lonely even in company. Please LORD JESUS give us all healing and some of your precious peace. ❤🙏
Yes Wayne I'm also Wayne and lost my soul mate of 49 years. I feel your pain my friend. GOD bless and keep anyone going through this horrible journey. 🙏😭
I just don't agree that NO ONE can understand my grief. As an empathetic person I can put myself in someone's place and understand their pain. I have told others I understand and have hugged them. I did understand. I have not tried to compete in order to make them see that they have no reason to feel bad/sad. This has been done to me. My family wanted me well and over it by 6 months. When I wasn't they abandoned me. My husband died in a restaurant bathroom. I never knew he was in trouble and never saw it coming. It also felt like abandonment. I can't express what I feel.
Jo thank you for your video i really appreciate you. I lost my husband 2 years now it still feels like yesterday. People think im fine now because time has pasted if they only knew how sad i still am especially in holiday's hes not with us its like a sharp pain in your heart and friends and family dont understand
I totally agree with you. People think that enough time has passed but like you stated it feels like yesterday. It will be 2 years in August that mom passed and I'm still having days of loneliness and anxiety. Grief is such an individual thing, so take your time and be kind to yourself.
I'm very sorry about your husband, trust me I completely understand how you feel, I felt the same way when my wife past away June 4th 2018 grief is hard to deal with but we learn to live with it, where are you from..?…
Just got back from attending my art group. My husband died 6 months ago and it was interesting today to notice several members of the group who no longer ask me “How are you?” - Etched on their faces is ‘I cannot cope if she says she is not coping too well’. Kind words is all I needed to hear - I cried hard this morning all alone before going out - A few kind words would have helped a lot. Thank you for your videos 🙏
I agree, one year six months since l lost my wife to cancer. After 31 years of a most wonderful marriage and heartfelt love it’s pathetic how little support one gets, from family and friends. It’s a new experience, not chosen but nonetheless determined on all of us at one time or another. I guess the only words of comfort are you are not alone, be kind to yourself, and know that love is a gift that can never be forgotten. Take care.❤️
I'm very sorry about your husband, trust me I completely understand how you feel, I felt the same way when my wife past away June 4th 2018 grief is hard to deal with but we learn to live with it, where are you from..?..:..
When you mentioned that those closest to us often do not provide the support that we need -- They just want us to get better, well, that really hit home. . . .
I don’t mind being alone, I just hate loneliness which hits me when I get up in the morning and when I get ready for and go to bed. All times when I had close interaction with my wife. The closeness can never be replaced. It was a special 37 year bond. I try to dwell on the many/mostly happy times.
I'm very sorry about your loss, trust me I completely understand how you feel, I felt the same way when my wife past away June 4th 2018 grief is hard to deal with but we learn to live with it, where are you from..?..;..
My 26 year old daughter died two years ago, my only sister died a year ago, and my best friend of 17 years abandoned me. I have never felt so desolately alone.
I have been so tired of feeling that other's are not giving the passing of my loved one the respect that it deserves...No, I am Not in the mood for "chit chat"....it did not take me long to realize that what was coming from other's as "help" was exactly what I do not need to hear...so I have kept being alone and it works for me...and I am not going to educate anyone...I do not want their company if that's what it is. Thank you for making this video.
Thank you, Jo, for your insights on loneliness. I am so lonely and my daughters try to help but they are dealing with their own problems. The life I shared with my husband is gone and I feel so lost and empty without him.
Yes, people think I have been over my grief for about a year, when in reality I am desperately watching videos to feel understood as this grief is hanging on for 2 years almost . Good video, grief is just so difficult.
Same here. I just passed the 2 year anniversary + replay that horrible day over again. Time doesn’t heal. Sadness is my constant companion. I’m disoriented most days. 😢
I can’t find my way through my grief of losing my husband of 40 years and I hate the loneliness and I thought after a year I would be further along. I love your videos
I completely understand after losing my husband after 42 years. Going into the second year has been very hard. I am also dealing with the isolation of loved ones not understanding the need for more check ins. Unless you experience this, no one can understand the fear that comes with it. I have now decided to start on the path of therapy, starting out slow. May we find peace in our hearts. Blessings & love to all experiencing this
I'm very sorry about your husband, trust me I completely understand how you feel, I felt the same way when my wife past away June 4th 2018 grief is hard to deal with but we learn to live with it, where are you from..?..;..
Dear Jo, I have ‘come back’ to watching and listening to you after a few days of difficulty. I am enduring loneness, yes, but it is accompanied by a terrible depression. My late wife’s daughter and her her husband have gone away for a week. I am sure that is not the main reason I am depressed, but the last three days I ha suffered until mid-day and it is 2 before I begin to recover myself. I am so, so unhappy and am hiding my grief which has returned with a vengeance, and my sense of guilt. Your words are my only help at the moment.
It hasn’t even been 2 months since I lost him and the profound loneliness that I feel is hard to describe. When you lose the one person you could tell anything to and knew they would always be there, it sometimes feels like more then I can bare. I’ve lost the structure, the glue that held me together at times. Sometimes I just don’t want to be alone and when you ask your loved ones just to come over and they can’t it makes it even worse. My whole life changed in an instant because of one choice that I wish he wouldn’t have made. The guilt I have because I didn’t know is a great burden I’m carrying. Every piece of mail that comes with his name on it makes me cry. I know this is a process and I’ll come to a point in my life when I will be able to exist in my new ‘normal’ but I hate having to go through especially when the one person I want to about it isn’t here. Thank you for listening.
People have no idea what to say to the bereaved. After a while many disappear especially if they see you’re unwell. They fear the same for themselves so they cease initiating contact. It’s a silent epidemic.
My husband passed from terminal cancer 7 months ago tomorrow. He was my best friend of over 37 years! I miss him so much and nothing is the same. I am 73 years old and I had to sell our home as I could not afford it and I am living in a place that is so small and foreign to me. I feel forgotten by so many. Happy to find your video!
I'm very sorry about your husband, trust me I completely understand how you feel, I felt the same way when my wife past away June 4th 2018 grief is hard to deal with but we learn to live with it, where are you from..?.:,.,
I feel alone because I am alone. When a person cares for someone who is ill for a very long time, people don’t come to visit. You have to pay people for help. If someone does visit, it’s once or twice. They have no concept of what it took to have them come nor the collapse of the ones they came to visit, after that visit. You are left with no one understanding. You are left with no one… later.
Went searching for isolation in grief. Dealing with some great sadness. The anniversary of both of my parents passing are here. Days apart. I let a few people know i was having a hard time, and days passed and no one reached out on thise days to see if i was okay. Hurts. So alone.
I think one think missing from this is how we live today. We often live in non contact communities. We don't know or interact with our neighbours. Often we are disconnected from family through distance. We no longer live in small interactive villages.
Ive lost so much in the last 10 yrs. I lost my Dad in an accident March 2014 sudden and tragic samectime my husband of 30yrs divorced me. In a 10yr period i have become disabled can't walk and moved, sold my house and last March i lost my best friend to covid complications and my boyfriend died too. I am so devastated by so much loss and my disease lupus has become much worst. I am alone in a strange town with only my daughter. She has quit coming over lately and i feel abandoned and betrayed. I moved here because of her and my grand daughter. I have no friends and no other relatives. People dont seem to care and i feel invisible.
I'm so sorry for all your loss and everything your going through. Ultimately the thing that has kept me strong is my faith. Lean on God! He wants to hear from you.
Unfortunately and sadly it's so much everywhere where as we get older and more disabled we start getting abandoned by the very people we thought would be there for us it seems to be the normal thing nowadays it's heartbreaking I'm absolutely in the same situation everyday is Groundhog Day
@@johncotterill3949 Thank you for your response. I am suffering from lots of joint pain and weird painful rashes. I feel very tired and have liver problems too. I am just 70 but i have sick for years and doctors are not very helpful. I was a nurse and my ex was a doctor. I am a christian but living with this destructive painful disease has stolen my hope! How old was your wife what were her symptons? I feel your pain. I pray that God will be with you💟✝️🕊️
@@marca6190 hi Marcia thanks for your reply the same as you joint pain and lots of painful rashes also arthritis which I’ve been told that lupus symptoms are very similar have you been diagnosed with lupus and how long have you had the symptoms do take care of yourself and thank you for getting back to me
I lost my husband, and really only have a sister as family. She did not ever want to talk about him, she and her husband never brought me food, nor the church I attended at the time . I was alone with him when he passed. I am not only grieving, but am terribly hurt by family. Lonely, sad, and just dont want to be here anymore.
I'm very sorry about your husband, trust me I completely understand how you feel, I felt the same way when my wife past away June 4th 2018 grief is hard to deal with but we learn to live with it, where are you from..?..
This happened to me. I’m grieving for my cat, I loved him so much but someone who was meant to be my best friend, whom I’ve know for over thirty years, basically to.d me I should ‘stay in if I can’t cope.’ She also had a go at me for crying during a talk she invited me to. I’d just got the news literally the day before her talk, that Lucifer was FIV, that there’s no cure, that we possibly will have to have him put to sleep, that we have to get the other cats tested, that if the new one we were trying to introduce tested negative we would have to re home him. All in one vet appointment. I felt like my life had been blown apart. They never even to,d us they were testing for FIV. He had diahorreah and had lost a lot of weight. As far as I was aware, they were testing for thyroid issues. I wasn’t psychologically prepared for the news I received. I only went to her talk to support her and she had a go at me for being upset. We are no longer friends. Instead of supporting me she made me feel like crap and paid no regard whatsoever to my mental health issues with which I struggle every day regardless of grief. It broke my heart all over again. She has cats, she’s lost cats, she should understand. I feel destroyed
Betty P! I was out of the country for 30 years! Missionary! Lost my husband of 58 years! After sometime remarried! In this marriage we we’re each others soulmate! After 4 years he passed away! I am lost, alone on 10 acres of beautiful land that together we made a paradise! Do not have a network of friends! He did not have close friends either! The quiet and loneliness is debilitating! I find it difficult to function or even to want to function! Help!!
I was just asked when I said I was sad/depressed "why" and it was only 4 months ago I lost my beloved pup. To feel like I have to be normal again and explain why the loss is devastating to me greatly upsets me and it makes me realize I don't have true friends who know me well enough to know why I would be devastated and changed. Then I feel anger that I have to explain my grief. I want to move to a remote island alone and just be allowed to have authentic human emotions rather then this toxic positivity thrown around and judged by my sadness and shock.
I'm very sorry about your husband, trust me I completely understand how you feel, I felt the same way when my wife past away June 4th 2018 grief is hard to deal with but we learn to live with it, where are you from..?.:..,
Yes, right on the mark with you. Sometimes, I feel friends are not always listening. I feel as if I am in a new category that they cannot relate to. I enjoyed this podcast very much!
To get back into your crafting you could make bonnets for premature babies, it will give you a reason to do it and will be a distraction for a while.look online you will find somewhere that needs them or something similar to my suggestion 😊
I don’t mind being alone, however I hate the loneliness and abandonment ever since my husband passed 1 years ago. He was my social connection. I NEED to find my purpose
I'm very sorry about your husband, trust me I completely understand how you feel, I felt the same way when my wife past away June 4th 2018 grief is hard to deal with but we learn to live with it, where are you from..?.:…
My dad has died only a few weeks ago. It hurts a lot. And I know I distance myself. But I,m also feeling so much anger and disappointment at many close family members who distance themselves instead of being there for you. I cannot understand their behavior. I must bei very careful that my rage doesn,t take too much space in me...
Hello, I can relate to how you feel. My mom passed very recently and as an only child with no surviving aunts, uncles, or grandparents, those who turn away from your grief when you expected them to be there for you is heartbreaking. It's somewhat surprising to see how people are so accustomed to only being around when everything appears to be "sunny." I'm so sorry for your loss.
It is a different world indeed We are different in every small way and after two years I still cant cope with the loss of my husband Jo my body hurts every day I know I should not fight this feeling but It is so uncomfartable
It's nearly 4 months since I lost my sweet husband. This video touches on exactly how I'm feeling right now. I'm lonely but don't really want to spend much time with others. Yet, the texting, calls and emails really mean so much to me. This is such a difficult journey.
I'm very sorry about your husband, trust me I completely understand how you feel, I felt the same way when my wife past away June 4th 2018 grief is hard to deal with but we learn to live with it, where are you from..?.,..
I long to tell you all my grief, it’s such a mess and now the fear of more grief happening, it’s inevitable. It is like no human is connected to you etc etc…… I know no one can make it go away. I listened to this, and listen to many on here, and the tears are flowing, but feeling I don’t want to cry I’m too exhausted and depleted, my nervous system just revs. So much gully too for being so self focused ❤
There are no words. When you’ve had a life partner who was your main support then feeling lost is inevitable. My husband died four months ago we were together forty eight years. I am lost and can relate to not wanting to be here because life will never feel the same. Time, it’s going to take time, lots and lots of time! Tears many many tears, I’ve gone into my garden and literally wailed. Be prepared for the storms that will come and hit you like a sledgehammer! The loss of a loved one is powerful, grief is powerful and at times all consuming. I am lucky for I have much support, new ventures, new friends as well as old ones but nothing fills the void or the feeling of not belonging. Just one second, one minute, one hour at a time. I think for me there is comfort in knowing you are not alone in the feelings, that they are absolutely the correct feelings. I wish you love and peace. ❤
I'm very sorry about your husband, trust me I completely understand how you feel, I felt the same way when my wife past away June 4th 2018 grief is hard to deal with but we learn to live with it, where are you from..?..:…
Thank you for your gracious spirit. In the past 10 mos I’ve lost my partner and mother unexpectedly...as well as the two homes we did our living in. I like the three thoughts at the end... the problem is specific: What if you don’t know what to ask for. I’m angry when people don’t reach out. I’m annoyed when they do. The pillars of my existence, with the exception of my faith, are gone. The empty space takes my breath away. I’m beyond words and don’t know what I need... besides basic mammalian necessities of life.
....and visuals/videos like these are lifesaving, a real life ring in a sea of profound sadness, sometimes runs into depression. Thank you for your wonderful insights; perhaps you are someone who has "been there?"
My wife died two years ago. One day... just a little nagging cough. The next day, she passed away. Forty nine years... and she was gone. I have my two sons and four grandchildren. She was my friend since we were five years old and at 71 the feeling of being alone was( and still is) overwhelming. I have good support from my church fellowship... and it helps some. I still do not socially engage much at all.... but I'm still working on getting to a comfort level that feels something like living.
This was very helpful. The difference between feeling connected but not having to engage describes it very well for me. After 5 months of losing my mother I stopped responding to text messages and have little to no interest in meeting others. Still almost everyday I evaluate my social support network. Sounds crazy, but in my head I am counting my friends, thinking who I could call, who was helpful in the last months.. just to end up alone in my room crying. I have no interest in talking to people or hearing about their lives pretty much, still I want to know that they are waiting for me..
Exactly! I feel the both of you. If friends can text they can call. I am very angry at their selfishness. I simply don't have the care to extend myself to them when they weren't there for me. @tonyacook3281
I feel very lonely in my grief. My siblings are very supportive, but I haven't received much support from my friends. I don't want to have to reach out to them, I want them to have it in their own minds to reach out to me. They know me well, they know I have a hard time reaching out. I don't want pity, but it would be nice to get a " how are you doing?" and really want to know how I'm doing. I want them to dig deeper and ask me WHAT I'm feeling not just How are you?
I feel deeply sorry for Stephanie. It’s sounds like a horror story. Try to begin just simple exercises every day building up to more often & longer. It changes the brain. Short walks in the sun also help. One step a time. Sending love & healing.
My beautiful mom passed last month and i can honestly say, grieving is the WORSE! Your video is so right on! I feel like i'm in a fog, i'm pushing everyone away, and i am so so angry because of the way she passed. I know that i can't handle another death in the family, i just can't. I pray that i go before hand. I DO feel alone, and the guilt i'm feeling is waying me down. My fil passed last year and i feel like i wasn't there for my husband as i should of been, loved my fil, we all were close as a family. OMG, your video is exactly how i feel! Thank you, i know i'm babbling, lol, it seems like that's what i do anymore.
Yes Jo. 38 years and he still could just look at me a certain way and i got butterflies! And he was a feminist! And he was so smart- especially with his humor. Its a different world. I have great friends, but its a whole new life. I miss the love. Kelly
My grief is very lonely. This video has been so accurate for me. I did a mental inventory of all my colleagues a d friends two nights ago a d all of them disappointed me. Two days later I realise this is my grief at work. They don't all disappoint me today. The knowledge that this feeling of being alone is coming in waves a d with good days and bad days, helps a lot. I prefer to spend time alone at the moment and I'm happy to let my amygdala have its own way. I have let my friends know indont have much to contribute just now. It's ok. I hope they'll be there later. I miss my mother so much
Approaching a year looking over text messages around this time last year.Still Tyring to piece the events together April 2nd she sent text "i miss you" which breaks my heart i just wasn't listening. Anyone who says it gets easier is so wrong complete mental emotional anguish the void is large she filled such a big space she was my best friend and i let her down. Life is so difficult no money no home tons of debt no vehicle health problems and death ontop of greif i mean what even matters. I wont say loosing a spouse is ever easy but having to stress about everything else is very difficult . Thanks Jo videos are always helpful
I’ve listened to multiple videos this evening after I found you. You’ve described my reality in so many ways. This one has really hit home. The loneliness I feel has been horrible. My adult children are going through their own things so they are isolating themselves so now I barely see them or my grandchildren that I’d been so close to. My husband of 42 yrs had a stroke in 06 and it changed him and he developed bipolar 1. Now we are facing possible dementia diagnosis so the grieving has been ongoing all these years. I’m in weekly therapy and under mental healthcare as well as seeing whatever doctors I’ve needed but the grief, stress and the loneliness overwhelm me daily. I’m suffering terribly in many physical ways as well which just worsen my mental state. I definitely have a broken heart and know how very real it is. I’m 64 and my husband is 70 and so many times my oldest daughter and I have said how very hard it is to get passed the grief as we lost him but his body is still here so how do we do it? The stroke changed him as far as his personality and no physical issues and so he looks the same but he’s not. I lost the love of my life and am losing him over and over and it’s causing so much damage to me that I barely function anymore. I don’t recognize myself at all anymore. I truly am broken but I want to get well and live again.
I'm am so sorry for the loss of your husband and life as you knew it. Go into nature and appreciate the little things like sun on your back or the wind in your face etc. Try to go for a swim.. be kind to yourself and take care if you. Focusing in the now can help even though you will be planning for changes coming by the sounds of it. I hope you feel some peace, alittlw bit each day. My mother had a stroke a d it was so shocking to us all how this changed her and all of us in the family. Just cuddle your loved one anyway.
I understand this and went through this also. I grieved ( anticipatory grief) my husband who was still alive for 10 years after his massive stroke and he passed away last year. Try to find some joy in his presents. Get as much outside help you can. My heart goes out to you.
I met a girl after my husband died and I had a stroke too and she said well you will just have to learn to be on your own in not a kind way at all because she has been alone for years and hates her ex husband I could not believe how horrible she was
I'm very sorry about your husband, trust me I completely understand how you feel, I felt the same way when my wife past away June 4th 2018 grief is hard to deal with but we learn to live with it, where are you from..?.;…
Oh my, this resonated with my soul. Thank you so much! Almost feels like an affirmation that I am doing what is right for me. I am blessed with dear friends who truly care. I understand many cannot comprehend as they haven't lost a spouse. I have one childhood friend who lost her husband a year before my husband passed. She has 7 children and many grandchildren, yet she is lonely. Since I do not have children I was under the assumption they helped fill the void but I'm learning they do not. We are alone on this journey. Each relationship is different so we all grieve differently. I guess the common denominator is the mental anguish and feeling of being lost. Our other half is gone. I've turned inward this past year, I find myself searching my soul very deeply. I prefer not being around people unless I need to be, it's just my way of coping right now. Phone calls, texts, emails are my daily communication. I do notice that some (many?) think I have moved on as it's been a year since my husband passed. A whole year. Gee, it doesn't quite work that way. I thank you kindly for his video, it helped me immensely.
Every word is so exactly spot on about the utter loneliness that descends on me at regular intervals that i do sense a pointlessness too often. Thank you so very much for your superb descriptions & explanations of grief. It is truly a long a private pain. Am comforted by the mere fact I can go to your podcast whenever I feel the need. Your words are deeply cherished. Thank you.
My Mother Died Almost 2 Months Ago....Im So Incredibly Sad....This Is The Loneliest I Have Ever Felt. The Day Never Ends And The Night Is Even Longer... I Don't Know What To Do With Myself😢😢😢😢😢😢😢
I understand how that feels. When my mother died in 2019, I thought the grief and intense pain I felt, would never end. To be truthful the heartache will always be there in some form, just on a more bearable level as the years pass by. But the stone in the stomach and the pain in the heart will go away with time. I will never stop missing her and the pain of having lost her is still there and always will be, but it just becomes bearable and less intense. May God bless you and may He be with you to comfort you during your time of grieving. Give yourself a good year to grieve, is what I was told be a friend some years ago. And now, he has also passed away...😢 This is a part of life and perhaps the most difficult past of life is to lose people through death. But we will Find them again, in heaven, with the FATHER, whom we have eternal life with through Jesus Christ. Keep walking forward in this life, and just do the best that you can each day. ❤
@Spiritualchick82 Thank You My Friend. Your Kind Words Have Truly Touched My Heart. Thank You For Sharing And May God Forever Hold You. Your Words Mean A Lot. God Bless You🙏🙏!
So much truth in this video. I can be with a group of people whom I love, but still feel so lonely, craving that one person who will never be with me again. Thank you Jo.
I understand the process for grief mentally and physically. But what do you do when you literally are not allowed to process grief in your life when friends and family do not want you to experience it? They just want everything to go back to normal. Even when I communicate my needs to them they do not hear me. That is more disturbing to me than experiencing the grief.
I don’t know if you’re able to but I do know that our pups having a great comfort to us since my Sunday, December 31, 2023 The funeral home even let us bring my sons pup and his kitty in to see him before the service. It was truly beautiful and so very heartbreaking all at the same time to see my son’s dog, licking his face. So all that to say, maybe you could adopt a small dog and the dog shelter. Those dogs need love so bad. I’m a real advocate for adopting not buying. But even if you have to buy us a dog because you can’t find one any other way, they really do keep you company. And they very much are loving. I don’t know how old you are or anything but we take our dog the dog classes, so they learn manners and just learn to be nice little “humans.”
A good friend died last march,my mother died in the April and the day after her funeral was the day my best friend was killed in an accident at work,I had been my mother's carer for seven years so I've lost my job,mother and my loving friends,I have never been so lonely,feel like a wounded animal but I have to find strength to get a job when in reality I would rather hide.
Two months have past since I lost my daughter , at work now I wonder if others are tired of hearing about “Tristan “ but I can’t help but talk about her … this sometimes feels lonely for sure
Thank you for the valuable information and help! I lost my brother and then 2 weeks later my husband of 40 years dies suddenly. Even though it's been 2 yrs ago, I am definitely going through it. It's a ball of everchanging emotions.
I'm very sorry about your husband, trust me I completely understand how you feel, I felt the same way when my wife past away June 4th 2018 grief is hard to deal with but we learn to live with it, where are you from..?.:..
I feel very hurt by family, we don't live near each other, I live in another country. They knew my son and the troubles we all had. They also know how much I loved him but they don't seem to understand what losing my boy has done to me.
Sorry for your loss. I totally understand your pain. Unfortunately most people won’t understand what we are going through. Losing a child is excruciating!
@@iicejj 6 and a half years. It still hurts as much if not more. I know we all grieve our own way. Time for me hasn’t made it easier, just different. We’re it not for podcasts like this one where people share their stories and such, I’d be even more isolated and alone. Thank you for sharing your story hugs and kisses to you ❤️
My Mom passed in 2002...My Grandmother who raised me, the woman who I lived with since birth passed 5 months later. Its been 20yrs and Im crying today like it just happened. I dont feel connected to anyone. I reach out but like u said they dont show up in the capacity that I need. They show up with words via text and the words sound empty... I have no siblings. Ive had 2 Generations of Maternal Family members pass away. Lately I felt so lonely. Ppl around me, friends are sick, or have loved ones who are on hospice, or loves ones that have been killed or passed away from sickness. Their grief brings up the grief inside of me. 20yrs. Its like life has passed me by.
My identical twin sister died 11 months ago. While we lived 150 miles apart, we texted constantly. The quiet is so lonely. My husband has been an amazing supporter, and I have two friends who occasionally reach out, so I am lucky for that. But, nothing could have ever prepared me for this.
![Gucci Mane & Sexyy Red - You Don't Love Me [Official Music Video]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/j7IBqyFKT4c/mqdefault.jpg)
I learned a lot about my own Grief experiences researching the difference between Loneliness and being Alone with my Grief. Let me know in the comments below if the same is true for you! 🙏🏻
If you would like to learn more about the ways we could work together tell me where to send the information.
chipper-pioneer-5821.ck.page/880a09336a
Jo, it is just over six weeks since my wife passed. It continues to be very,very painful for me. The periods of respite I have found because I discovered your kind and wise words. I am very much on my own, and your kindness generates a trust I need so much. I try exercises, breathing, self-awareness, but find I am experiencing two days of hell and one more normal day in between. You are a voice of kind Canadian sympathy with kind eyes and no axe to grind. I just wanted to say that as time matures you are my help in need, for now. You are a true blessing, kind lady. Thank you. Edward.
I feel so guilty and lazy when I cannot motivate myself. I have no caring help at all, not to seem pathetic, but I AM alone. It is very hard.
I’d love to know the difference as I feel so alone and lonely and though my husband is still here he’s not the same man I married 42 yrs ago. He was my safe harbor for so many yrs as I’d been traumatized many times in my life. I miss the way he’d comfort me when I hurt. He tries and I’m grateful but it’s not the same. I have no close family and no friends where we now live when we left our home of 30 yrs when my husband had to retire. Shortly after I got us moved my health got hit again and I’ve spent the last 8 yrs suffering a lot. The stress has done much damage and I’ve had some close calls the past few yrs. I want to live so I can be here for him so I’m willing to learn all I can.
I find that Ashwagandha can be helpful as it lowers cortisol levels. Approaching the 1st year after losing my beloved wife. Still a difficult time for me.
My brother passed away recently and your Videos have helped explain what grief can do and how to help us through it.
I know exactly why my grief is "lonely". After I lost my wife, I got sick and tired of all the fake sympathy. It was like a slap in the face every time. So I quit talking to everybody. After 4 years I am still grieving, but I have learned the difference between lonely and alone. And I'm much happier alone.
Sometimes it's difficult to explain what I need to others when I don't even know. I don't want to be alone all of the time, but I don't want to be a burden either. Sometimes I just need a hug or someone who is okay with just being present or willing to listen. I don't ask for much. I guess they're not used to me asking for anything. I just don't know. I don't feel like I belong anywhere anymore.
“I don’t feel like I belong anywhere anymore.” I concur.
@Jeff Beaudoin I know that feeling, but sometimes I create it by saying something dumb while trying to be funny.
This is so profound! That is exactly how I’m feeling too.
It is a very lonely place to be when nobody you know can relate to your grief. 😭
I lost a son 6 years ago. I feel stuck in my grief!!! I’m inconsolable😟
Jennifer, you have expressed my feelings exactly! I don’t want to be a burden, I don’t know what to ask for to help with my loneliness….my pain of losing the dearest person in the world to me. I have been blessed with “angel” friends who care and just listen. It doesn’t take away the grief, but it does bring moments of comfort. That is all we can hope for, I think, moments of comfort that help us get through one day at a time.
I feel the same no support it's awful hard xx
I watched him suffer, I saw him die but all I was able to do was sit close by. All I want is to hold him one more time. God eased his pain but broke my heart. This grief and anxiety is so real!
I can so relate to your post. I lost my husband of 39 years two months ago. He was on daily dialysis for the past 7 years and I was his caregiver. I too watched him pass and feel as you do. His pain and discomfort has stopped, mine began the second he passed.
I understand both of you. I also lost my husband 2 years ago. He was suffering from cancer he couldn't breathe lungs calaups also high anxiety attacks knowing that he was leaving us. I still feel the same I miss him every day and every holiday people think because I'm smiling I'm okay but all the opposite it's another holiday without my love😢
I understand. My husband died almost 2 years ago. He went in for a robotic heart surgery. He was in great shape and elected to fix a valve now instead of later. It went terribly wrong. I never got to hug him, or even know if he understood me telling him it was ok to go on. Hooked up to everything, all l could do was touch and talk. Bits at a time. 3 days and he was gone. I was absolutely lost and foggy headed. Expecting him to drive down the driveway. So hard! So missed by everyone.
@@josieg1111 Same here. My partner of 30 years died in my arms. Cancer and a poor doctor decision stole him from me. I will never be the same person I was.
I feel totally alone. I’ve never been so lonely
Me too 😢
I wish I had at least a few supportive friends and family.
I know the feeling. Condolences. Join a grief recovery group or grief recovery books. Helps. Some people Understand
Yes. Very lonely. And people don’t even try. It becomes more about people saying. Oh they just don’t know
what to do or say so they do nothing or that people are just busy in their own lives. Like it’s my responsibility to be on top of and understand others struggle and lack of care of my grief and losses and they don’t listen or hear when I tell them I feel alone. Why aren’t people even checking on me. Always excuses of others but not hearing me and being there. It’s confusing and I feel it is very unkind and always about them. Hurtful
I lost my husband Greg 12/22/2023. Now i am so lonely, and my grief seems like it gets worst everyday I feel so lost without him, we been together since i was 18 and Greg 20.
I'm very sorry about your husband, trust me I completely understand how you feel, I felt the same way when my wife past away June 4th 2018 grief is hard to deal with but we learn to live with it, where are you from..?..:..,
My wife passed away four weeks ago and I feel so isolated, and know , there is no one coming to rescue me, even though they are present, there is nothing they can do or say to help me.
One of the problems with modern day society is that people consider you toxic and draining if you're honest about feeling low. I'm very lonely and depressed in my grief and it would help me to have supportive friends, but I've found no friends are willing to listen and be present with me, the way I have been with others. I can't go to a new social group and just cry or feel sad, I'd have to put on a happy act. Society has made it taboo to be anything except positive and happy and I find that achingly sad and lonely in itself.
Try finding a grief group as you will find a safe space to just 'be' in your grief. Everyone gets it. It's a social group that no-one would elect to belong to voluntarily but we're all glad exists.
I agree with Emma. I started going to a 13 week grief program in March 2022 just 3 months after my husband died. This group was my life preserver. It was the only place I really felt safe and understood. The facilitators were great also.
Even though the formal program ended, we all still get together frequently. .....They get it.
@@Indybluesgirl I go to a pet loss support group which helps, it's in another country but its on zoom. There are no grief support groups where I live locally or online. They all shut down in the lockdowns. People tend to say 'start one yourself' but I'm too much in pain to do that at the moment. There just isn't much support out there for grievers in my country, I'm not sure why but it's totally rubbish. If either of you can recommend any grief support groups on zoom then let me know.
After sixty-four years together I lost my wonderful wife Judy last July, 2022 as I sat at her bedside at home and watched her die in front of me. She was relaxed and alert to the end. 'I don't know how to die - what do i do? she said. Breast cancer over the the past 12 years had , in a way, prepared us for what was to come ( although we did not quite believe it, as it went on for so long). Within minutes she had breathed her last and my nightmare began. It is now early summer and April 2023 heralds a new beginning which accentuates the devastation of my grief. It is comforting to know I am not alone in my painful grief. My tribute to my Judy is on RUclips (judyv4) - I do feel so sorry for those who mourn - my heart goes out to you.
Yes I understand.
I lost my love of my life
65 years of the most loving relationship.
How do you carry on.
I have no idea at all,
Just miss HER .
GRIEF IS ALL CONSUMING
I've suffered a lot of loss. And on one of my very grievous days, I was at a hospital to see a specialist and he gave me bad news and as I was leaving the facility, I realized that I could not find my car. I was so frustrated and alone and I burst into tears. Suddenly, a woman who saw me thru the glass from inside her office ran out to me in the street and just hugged me, and said "Baby, it's gonna be alright". Sometimes that's all it takes.
in times like this the support of a random stranger means so much!
It’s gonna be alright ❤
Grief is such a confusing and changing process. I often feel lonely as my husband and I spent alot of time together and we were best friends. the hard issue for me is the loss and knowing I will never have a relationship like this again.
This is exactly how I feel. The loss of my wife of 51 years can never be replaced. Like you I know that I will never have a relationship like that again
I do feel very lonely in my grief, I also feel very misunderstood in my grief.
I have felt and continue to feel both feeling alone and loneliness. Grief is like a python of torture.❤️
I have been very disappointed in people in my experience of losing my daughter instead of acknowledging it-they act like it never happened-it is the most cruel thing ever to do to someone and makes one feel very alone
Imagine yourself trying to comfort someone in their myriad of grief after just having lost someone dear... Sometimes we just don't know the right words to say to comfort the grieving individual. Most people say "I'm sorry for your loss" for lack of more compassionate words.
While their acknowledgment is nice, they may feel the need to say something else. For example, I heard someone say "God had other plans for your beloved". That doesn't always resonate, for many reasons.
Please consider that might be the case in your situation.
I’m so sorry that they don’t say her name. Have a kind word to say. Tell us your daughters name. It helps to hear our loved ones name being said.
I can understand so well...I experience a quite similar thing. Instead of being kinda sensitive they just turn away from you. Instead of being there they avoid the contact. As If they couldn,t bear me with my grief. It makes me very lonely. But I take it as a chance to grow.
Loneliness isn't from being alone. My loneliness is missing my wife. I have no problem being alone, my issue is being without her! We built a life for 30 years, that can never be filled, ever.
That I can fully understand.
I lost my wife of 65 years.
Just lonely for my wife
Yes fully understand and agree. So empty and so very lonely without her presence after 49years. Very Lonely even in company. Please LORD JESUS give us all healing and some of your precious peace. ❤🙏
Yes 👍 understand, I long for my wife of 31 years too. ❤️💔
Yes Wayne I'm also Wayne and lost my soul mate of 49 years. I feel your pain my friend. GOD bless and keep anyone going through this horrible journey. 🙏😭
I just don't agree that NO ONE can understand my grief. As an empathetic person I can put myself in someone's place and understand their pain. I have told others I understand and have hugged them. I did understand. I have not tried to compete in order to make them see that they have no reason to feel bad/sad. This has been done to me. My family wanted me well and over it by 6 months. When I wasn't they abandoned me. My husband died in a restaurant bathroom. I never knew he was in trouble and never saw it coming. It also felt like abandonment. I can't express what I feel.
Jo thank you for your video i really appreciate you.
I lost my husband 2 years now it still feels like yesterday. People think im fine now because time has pasted if they only knew how sad i still am especially in holiday's hes not with us its like a sharp pain in your heart and friends and family dont understand
I totally agree with you. People think that enough time has passed but like you stated it feels like yesterday.
It will be 2 years in August that mom passed and I'm still having days of loneliness and anxiety.
Grief is such an individual thing, so take your time and be kind to yourself.
😢i am sorry for your loss i lost my husband and father in 2020 . And i understand how u feel it’s a horrible pain. Hang in there.🙏
Two years for me too my husband passed in 2021 tragically
Very lonely. I feel that a week after the funeral everyone left me
My husband died 4 week ago after 23 years of marriage. So lonely and painful
I’m grieving death of my dear bf after 1 yr 9 mo. God bless u dear lady!😢❤
I'm very sorry about your husband, trust me I completely understand how you feel, I felt the same way when my wife past away June 4th 2018 grief is hard to deal with but we learn to live with it, where are you from..?…
I feel alone in my grief. But I also understand that people won't understand my grief.
I feel like a broken piece of glass with a million pieces that will never go together again.
Just got back from attending my art group. My husband died 6 months ago and it was interesting today to notice several members of the group who no longer ask me “How are you?” - Etched on their faces is ‘I cannot cope if she says she is not coping too well’. Kind words is all I needed to hear - I cried hard this morning all alone before going out - A few kind words would have helped a lot. Thank you for your videos 🙏
I agree, one year six months since l lost my wife to cancer. After 31 years of a most wonderful marriage and heartfelt love it’s pathetic how little support one gets, from family and friends. It’s a new experience, not chosen but nonetheless determined on all of us at one time or another. I guess the only words of comfort are you are not alone, be kind to yourself, and know that love is a gift that can never be forgotten. Take care.❤️
I'm very sorry about your husband, trust me I completely understand how you feel, I felt the same way when my wife past away June 4th 2018 grief is hard to deal with but we learn to live with it, where are you from..?..:..
When you mentioned that those closest to us often do not provide the support that we need -- They just want us to get better, well, that really hit home. . . .
I don’t mind being alone, I just hate loneliness which hits me when I get up in the morning and when I get ready for and go to bed. All times when I had close interaction with my wife. The closeness can never be replaced. It was a special 37 year bond. I try to dwell on the many/mostly happy times.
I feel so lost and lonely without Ray. He was life partner for 14 years and since he passed on Dec. 17. I feel like the only castaway on the island
I'm very sorry about your loss, trust me I completely understand how you feel, I felt the same way when my wife past away June 4th 2018 grief is hard to deal with but we learn to live with it, where are you from..?..;..
My 26 year old daughter died two years ago, my only sister died a year ago, and my best friend of 17 years abandoned me. I have never felt so desolately alone.
So many losses for you, I’m so sorry
It takes my breath away to read about your losses.
I have been so tired of feeling that other's are not giving the passing of my loved one the respect that it deserves...No, I am Not in the mood for "chit chat"....it did not take me long to realize that what was coming from other's as "help" was exactly what I do not need to hear...so I have kept being alone and it works for me...and I am not going to educate anyone...I do not want their company if that's what it is. Thank you for making this video.
I understand. I'm so sorry for your loss, and hold you in my heart ❤
Thank you, Jo, for your insights on loneliness. I am so lonely and my daughters try to help but they are dealing with their own problems. The life I shared with my husband is gone and I feel so lost and empty without him.
Yes, people think I have been over my grief for about a year, when in reality I am desperately watching videos to feel understood as this grief is hanging on for 2 years almost . Good video, grief is just so difficult.
❤
@@TheMisssy2the deeper the love, the greater the grief
I feel like people expact me to move on after two years, but I feel frozen in time
Same here. I just passed the 2 year anniversary + replay that horrible day over again. Time doesn’t heal. Sadness is my constant companion. I’m disoriented most days. 😢
The loneliness of coming home to nothing. An empty house and hours alone
Sending you a hug xxxx
This I know
Yes. That is so hard. I lost my husband two weeks ago. I am numb. I found myself curled up in a ball on the kitchen floor sobbing this morning
I can’t find my way through my grief of losing my husband of 40 years and I hate the loneliness and I thought after a year I would be further along. I love your videos
I completely understand after losing my husband after 42 years. Going into the second year has been very hard. I am also dealing with the isolation of loved ones not understanding the need for more check ins. Unless you experience this, no one can understand the fear that comes with it. I have now decided to start on the path of therapy, starting out slow. May we find peace in our hearts. Blessings & love to all experiencing this
I'm very sorry about your husband, trust me I completely understand how you feel, I felt the same way when my wife past away June 4th 2018 grief is hard to deal with but we learn to live with it, where are you from..?..;..
Dear Jo, I have ‘come back’ to watching and listening to you after a few days of difficulty. I am enduring loneness, yes, but it is accompanied by a terrible depression. My late wife’s daughter and her her husband have gone away for a week. I am sure that is not the main reason I am depressed, but the last three days I ha suffered until mid-day and it is 2 before I begin to recover myself. I am so, so unhappy and am hiding my grief which has returned with a vengeance, and my sense of guilt. Your words are my only help at the moment.
It hasn’t even been 2 months since I lost him and the profound loneliness that I feel is hard to describe. When you lose the one person you could tell anything to and knew they would always be there, it sometimes feels like more then I can bare. I’ve lost the structure, the glue that held me together at times. Sometimes I just don’t want to be alone and when you ask your loved ones just to come over and they can’t it makes it even worse. My whole life changed in an instant because of one choice that I wish he wouldn’t have made. The guilt I have because I didn’t know is a great burden I’m carrying. Every piece of mail that comes with his name on it makes me cry. I know this is a process and I’ll come to a point in my life when I will be able to exist in my new ‘normal’ but I hate having to go through especially when the one person I want to about it isn’t here. Thank you for listening.
Absolutely feel lonely. I don’t fit anywhere. I feel everyone else is moving on with their lives as they should
I feel as if there is an expectation to move on. I also don't fit.
People have no idea what to say to the bereaved. After a while many disappear especially if they see you’re unwell. They fear the same for themselves so they cease initiating contact. It’s a silent epidemic.
I've lost my Dad, dog and Mom in the last two years. My entire family. I don't feel like there is anything left here for me.
My husband passed from terminal cancer 7 months ago tomorrow. He was my best friend of over 37 years! I miss him so much and nothing is the same. I am 73 years old and I had to sell our home as I could not afford it and I am living in a place that is so small and foreign to me. I feel forgotten by so many.
Happy to find your video!
I'm very sorry about your husband, trust me I completely understand how you feel, I felt the same way when my wife past away June 4th 2018 grief is hard to deal with but we learn to live with it, where are you from..?.:,.,
@@chrisjohnson-uq9zs Alberta, Canada
@@debp5553 how have you been doing .?
I live in st Augustine Florida..
I feel alone because I am alone.
When a person cares for someone who is ill for a very long time, people don’t come to visit. You have to pay people for help. If someone does visit, it’s once or twice. They have no concept of what it took to have them come nor the collapse of the ones they came to visit, after that visit. You are left with no one understanding.
You are left with no one… later.
My mom passed 1 year next month,I have never felt so alone and empty inside🙏🏾
Went searching for isolation in grief. Dealing with some great sadness. The anniversary of both of my parents passing are here. Days apart. I let a few people know i was having a hard time, and days passed and no one reached out on thise days to see if i was okay. Hurts. So alone.
I think one think missing from this is how we live today. We often live in non contact communities. We don't know or interact with our neighbours. Often we are disconnected from family through distance. We no longer live in small interactive villages.
Mom died 3 months ago, feeling extremely lonely. Nobody can fill the void
Same here ❤
I feel alone even when i am surrounded by people. I cannot expect them to understand because they have not experienced loss.
Sending a big
I understand..I go through life trying to be business as usual but inside im dead...everything external is a facade...
Usually people are compassionate but some are saying inappropriate things. 😢
Ive lost so much in the last 10 yrs. I lost my Dad in an accident March 2014 sudden and tragic samectime my husband of 30yrs divorced me. In a 10yr period i have become disabled can't walk and moved, sold my house and last March i lost my best friend to covid complications and my boyfriend died too. I am so devastated by so much loss and my disease lupus has become much worst. I am alone in a strange town with only my daughter. She has quit coming over lately and i feel abandoned and betrayed. I moved here because of her and my grand daughter. I have no friends and no other relatives. People dont seem to care and i feel invisible.
I'm so sorry for all your loss and everything your going through. Ultimately the thing that has kept me strong is my faith. Lean on God! He wants to hear from you.
Unfortunately and sadly it's so much everywhere where as we get older and more disabled we start getting abandoned by the very people we thought would be there for us it seems to be the normal thing nowadays it's heartbreaking I'm absolutely in the same situation everyday is Groundhog Day
Sorry for all your losses my wife had lupus how has it affected you love to hear from you ❤
@@johncotterill3949 Thank you for your response. I am suffering from lots of joint pain and weird painful rashes. I feel very tired and have liver problems too. I am just 70 but i have sick for years and doctors are not very helpful. I was a nurse and my ex was a doctor. I am a christian but living with this destructive painful disease has stolen my hope! How old was your wife what were her symptons? I feel your pain. I pray that God will be with you💟✝️🕊️
@@marca6190 hi Marcia thanks for your reply the same as you joint pain and lots of painful rashes also arthritis which I’ve been told that lupus symptoms are very similar have you been diagnosed with lupus and how long have you had the symptoms do take care of yourself and thank you for getting back to me
I lost my husband, and really only have a sister as family. She did not ever want to talk about him, she and her husband never brought me food, nor the church I attended at the time . I was alone with him when he passed. I am not only grieving, but am terribly hurt by family. Lonely, sad, and just dont want to be here anymore.
I'm very sorry about your husband, trust me I completely understand how you feel, I felt the same way when my wife past away June 4th 2018 grief is hard to deal with but we learn to live with it, where are you from..?..
This happened to me. I’m grieving for my cat, I loved him so much but someone who was meant to be my best friend, whom I’ve know for over thirty years, basically to.d me I should ‘stay in if I can’t cope.’ She also had a go at me for crying during a talk she invited me to. I’d just got the news literally the day before her talk, that Lucifer was FIV, that there’s no cure, that we possibly will have to have him put to sleep, that we have to get the other cats tested, that if the new one we were trying to introduce tested negative we would have to re home him. All in one vet appointment. I felt like my life had been blown apart. They never even to,d us they were testing for FIV. He had diahorreah and had lost a lot of weight. As far as I was aware, they were testing for thyroid issues. I wasn’t psychologically prepared for the news I received.
I only went to her talk to support her and she had a go at me for being upset. We are no longer friends. Instead of supporting me she made me feel like crap and paid no regard whatsoever to my mental health issues with which I struggle every day regardless of grief. It broke my heart all over again. She has cats, she’s lost cats, she should understand. I feel destroyed
Yeah some friend you are
Dear beautiful souls,
Sending love and light from my heart to yours 💞🪽🦋🌈♾️🫂
Yes very lonely, only people can understand who went through the same 😢
Betty P!
I was out of the country for 30 years! Missionary! Lost my husband of 58 years! After sometime remarried! In this marriage we we’re each others soulmate! After 4 years he passed away! I am lost, alone on 10 acres of beautiful land that together we made a paradise! Do not have a network of friends! He did not have close friends either! The quiet and loneliness is debilitating! I find it difficult to function or even to want to function! Help!!
Family and friends want to silence me , i need to talk but they just say they are not hurting anymore, they are in a better place 😢
I feel I'm losing my confidence.
I can't get over the loss of my friends..
Loneliness is hurting
Terrible loneliness and pain
I was just asked when I said I was sad/depressed "why" and it was only 4 months ago I lost my beloved pup. To feel like I have to be normal again and explain why the loss is devastating to me greatly upsets me and it makes me realize I don't have true friends who know me well enough to know why I would be devastated and changed. Then I feel anger that I have to explain my grief. I want to move to a remote island alone and just be allowed to have authentic human emotions rather then this toxic positivity thrown around and judged by my sadness and shock.
I so get every word you wrote.
I know how you feel
Feeling lonely is something I feel the most, even with my peers
I come to you at my worst times and I am so glad you are here.....
Thanks Jo. You help ground me so much. There is a quality in your words that touches the soreness in my heart. Than you. Edward.
People slowly retreat after a year or so when you’re a widow. Couples especially do NOT want to know your sad feelings.
I get relief when I contemplate the gift of deeper understanding through my grief, then I pause into gratitude. This replaces my feelings of loss.
My grief is magnified when I am overwhelmed with the extra responsibility I have since my husband passed.
I'm very sorry about your husband, trust me I completely understand how you feel, I felt the same way when my wife past away June 4th 2018 grief is hard to deal with but we learn to live with it, where are you from..?.:..,
@@chrisjohnson-uq9zs florida
Yes, right on the mark with you. Sometimes, I feel friends are not always listening. I feel as if I am in a new category that they cannot relate to. I enjoyed this podcast very much!
Hi Mary, how’s your day going with you?
Lack of wanting to do things e.g sewing, cooking, crocheting etc
To get back into your crafting you could make bonnets for premature babies, it will give you a reason to do it and will be a distraction for a while.look online you will find somewhere that needs them or something similar to my suggestion 😊
I don’t mind being alone, however I hate the loneliness and abandonment ever since my husband passed 1 years ago. He was my social connection. I NEED to find my purpose
I'm very sorry about your husband, trust me I completely understand how you feel, I felt the same way when my wife past away June 4th 2018 grief is hard to deal with but we learn to live with it, where are you from..?.:…
I am so grateful i found you today🙏
My father passed away very recently i am broken and feel so lonely with the grief 😭💔
My dad has died only a few weeks ago. It hurts a lot. And I know I distance myself. But I,m also feeling so much anger and disappointment at many close family members who distance themselves instead of being there for you. I cannot understand their behavior. I must bei very careful that my rage doesn,t take too much space in me...
Hello, I can relate to how you feel. My mom passed very recently and as an only child with no surviving aunts, uncles, or grandparents, those who turn away from your grief when you expected them to be there for you is heartbreaking. It's somewhat surprising to see how people are so accustomed to only being around when everything appears to be "sunny." I'm so sorry for your loss.
I feel as if I am the only person experiencing grief
Believe me you are not, my grief is still with me after 1 1/2 years. ❤️
It is a different world indeed
We are different in every small way and after two years I still cant cope with the loss of my husband
Jo my body hurts every day
I know I should not fight this feeling but It is so uncomfartable
It's nearly 4 months since I lost my sweet husband. This video touches on exactly how I'm feeling right now. I'm lonely but don't really want to spend much time with others. Yet, the texting, calls and emails really mean so much to me. This is such a difficult journey.
I'm very sorry about your husband, trust me I completely understand how you feel, I felt the same way when my wife past away June 4th 2018 grief is hard to deal with but we learn to live with it, where are you from..?.,..
I long to tell you all my grief, it’s such a mess and now the fear of more grief happening, it’s inevitable. It is like no human is connected to you etc etc…… I know no one can make it go away. I listened to this, and listen to many on here, and the tears are flowing, but feeling I don’t want to cry I’m too exhausted and depleted, my nervous system just revs. So much gully too for being so self focused ❤
I have no support so I miss my husband more as he was my greatest supporter inline of 43 years
There are no words. When you’ve had a life partner who was your main support then feeling lost is inevitable. My husband died four months ago we were together forty eight years. I am lost and can relate to not wanting to be here because life will never feel the same. Time, it’s going to take time, lots and lots of time! Tears many many tears, I’ve gone into my garden and literally wailed. Be prepared for the storms that will come and hit you like a sledgehammer! The loss of a loved one is powerful, grief is powerful and at times all consuming. I am lucky for I have much support, new ventures, new friends as well as old ones but nothing fills the void or the feeling of not belonging. Just one second, one minute, one hour at a time. I think for me there is comfort in knowing you are not alone in the feelings, that they are absolutely the correct feelings. I wish you love and peace. ❤
I'm very sorry about your husband, trust me I completely understand how you feel, I felt the same way when my wife past away June 4th 2018 grief is hard to deal with but we learn to live with it, where are you from..?..:…
Thank you for your gracious spirit. In the past 10 mos I’ve lost my partner and mother unexpectedly...as well as the two homes we did our living in. I like the three thoughts at the end... the problem is specific: What if you don’t know what to ask for. I’m angry when people don’t reach out. I’m annoyed when they do. The pillars of my existence, with the exception of my faith, are gone. The empty space takes my breath away. I’m beyond words and don’t know what I need... besides basic mammalian necessities of life.
Can you talk about grieving in the second year.
....and visuals/videos like these are lifesaving, a real life ring in a sea of profound sadness, sometimes runs into depression. Thank you for your wonderful insights; perhaps you are someone who has "been there?"
My wife died two years ago. One day... just a little nagging cough. The next day, she passed away. Forty nine years... and she was gone. I have my two sons and four grandchildren. She was my friend since we were five years old and at 71 the feeling of being alone was( and still is) overwhelming. I have good support from my church fellowship... and it helps some. I still do not socially engage much at all.... but I'm still working on getting to a comfort level that feels something like living.
This was very helpful. The difference between feeling connected but not having to engage describes it very well for me. After 5 months of losing my mother I stopped responding to text messages and have little to no interest in meeting others. Still almost everyday I evaluate my social support network. Sounds crazy, but in my head I am counting my friends, thinking who I could call, who was helpful in the last months.. just to end up alone in my room crying. I have no interest in talking to people or hearing about their lives pretty much, still I want to know that they are waiting for me..
Exactly! I feel the both of you. If friends can text they can call. I am very angry at their selfishness. I simply don't have the care to extend myself to them when they weren't there for me.
@tonyacook3281
I feel very lonely in my grief. My siblings are very supportive, but I haven't received much support from my friends. I don't want to have to reach out to them, I want them to have it in their own minds to reach out to me. They know me well, they know I have a hard time reaching out. I don't want pity, but it would be nice to get a " how are you doing?" and really want to know how I'm doing. I want them to dig deeper and ask me WHAT I'm feeling not just How are you?
I feel deeply sorry for Stephanie. It’s sounds like a horror story. Try to begin just simple exercises every day building up to more often & longer. It changes the brain. Short walks in the sun also help. One step a time. Sending love & healing.
My beautiful mom passed last month and i can honestly say, grieving is the WORSE! Your video is so right on! I feel like i'm in a fog, i'm pushing everyone away, and i am so so angry because of the way she passed. I know that i can't handle another death in the family, i just can't. I pray that i go before hand. I DO feel alone, and the guilt i'm feeling is waying me down. My fil passed last year and i feel like i wasn't there for my husband as i should of been, loved my fil, we all were close as a family. OMG, your video is exactly how i feel! Thank you, i know i'm babbling, lol, it seems like that's what i do anymore.
Yes Jo. 38 years and he still could just look at me a certain way and i got butterflies! And he was a feminist! And he was so smart- especially with his humor. Its a different world. I have great friends, but its a whole new life. I miss the love. Kelly
My grief is very lonely. This video has been so accurate for me. I did a mental inventory of all my colleagues a d friends two nights ago a d all of them disappointed me. Two days later I realise this is my grief at work. They don't all disappoint me today. The knowledge that this feeling of being alone is coming in waves a d with good days and bad days, helps a lot. I prefer to spend time alone at the moment and I'm happy to let my amygdala have its own way. I have let my friends know indont have much to contribute just now. It's ok. I hope they'll be there later. I miss my mother so much
Approaching a year looking over text messages around this time last year.Still Tyring to piece the events together April 2nd she sent text "i miss you" which breaks my heart i just wasn't listening. Anyone who says it gets easier is so wrong complete mental emotional anguish the void is large she filled such a big space she was my best friend and i let her down. Life is so difficult no money no home tons of debt no vehicle health problems and death ontop of greif i mean what even matters. I wont say loosing a spouse is ever easy but having to stress about everything else is very difficult . Thanks Jo videos are always helpful
I’ve listened to multiple videos this evening after I found you. You’ve described my reality in so many ways. This one has really hit home. The loneliness I feel has been horrible. My adult children are going through their own things so they are isolating themselves so now I barely see them or my grandchildren that I’d been so close to. My husband of 42 yrs had a stroke in 06 and it changed him and he developed bipolar 1. Now we are facing possible dementia diagnosis so the grieving has been ongoing all these years. I’m in weekly therapy and under mental healthcare as well as seeing whatever doctors I’ve needed but the grief, stress and the loneliness overwhelm me daily. I’m suffering terribly in many physical ways as well which just worsen my mental state. I definitely have a broken heart and know how very real it is. I’m 64 and my husband is 70 and so many times my oldest daughter and I have said how very hard it is to get passed the grief as we lost him but his body is still here so how do we do it? The stroke changed him as far as his personality and no physical issues and so he looks the same but he’s not. I lost the love of my life and am losing him over and over and it’s causing so much damage to me that I barely function anymore. I don’t recognize myself at all anymore. I truly am broken but I want to get well and live again.
I'm am so sorry for the loss of your husband and life as you knew it. Go into nature and appreciate the little things like sun on your back or the wind in your face etc. Try to go for a swim.. be kind to yourself and take care if you. Focusing in the now can help even though you will be planning for changes coming by the sounds of it. I hope you feel some peace, alittlw bit each day. My mother had a stroke a d it was so shocking to us all how this changed her and all of us in the family. Just cuddle your loved one anyway.
I understand this and went through this also. I grieved ( anticipatory grief) my husband who was still alive for 10 years after his massive stroke and he passed away last year. Try to find some joy in his presents. Get as much outside help you can. My heart goes out to you.
@@nonail64 thank you💞
@@monicaj3023 thank you. This life is truly bittersweet and I do try to be present but there are days it’s just so hard. I’m sorry for your loss too💞
I met a girl after my husband died and I had a stroke too and she said well you will just have to learn to be on your own in not a kind way at all because she has been alone for years and hates her ex husband I could not believe how horrible she was
I'm very sorry about your husband, trust me I completely understand how you feel, I felt the same way when my wife past away June 4th 2018 grief is hard to deal with but we learn to live with it, where are you from..?.;…
Oh my, this resonated with my soul. Thank you so much! Almost feels like an affirmation that I am doing what is right for me. I am blessed with dear friends who truly care. I understand many cannot comprehend as they haven't lost a spouse. I have one childhood friend who lost her husband a year before my husband passed. She has 7 children and many grandchildren, yet she is lonely. Since I do not have children I was under the assumption they helped fill the void but I'm learning they do not. We are alone on this journey. Each relationship is different so we all grieve differently. I guess the common denominator is the mental anguish and feeling of being lost. Our other half is gone. I've turned inward this past year, I find myself searching my soul very deeply. I prefer not being around people unless I need to be, it's just my way of coping right now. Phone calls, texts, emails are my daily communication. I do notice that some (many?) think I have moved on as it's been a year since my husband passed. A whole year. Gee, it doesn't quite work that way. I thank you kindly for his video, it helped me immensely.
Every word is so exactly spot on about the utter loneliness that descends on me at regular intervals that i do sense a pointlessness too often. Thank you so very much for your superb descriptions & explanations of grief. It is truly a long a private pain. Am comforted by the mere fact I can go to your podcast whenever I feel the need. Your words are deeply cherished. Thank you.
My Mother Died Almost 2 Months Ago....Im So Incredibly Sad....This Is The Loneliest I Have Ever Felt. The Day Never Ends And The Night Is Even Longer... I Don't Know What To Do With Myself😢😢😢😢😢😢😢
I understand how that feels. When my mother died in 2019, I thought the grief and intense pain I felt, would never end. To be truthful the heartache will always be there in some form, just on a more bearable level as the years pass by. But the stone in the stomach and the pain in the heart will go away with time.
I will never stop missing her and the pain of having lost her is still there and always will be, but it just becomes bearable and less intense.
May God bless you and may He be with you to comfort you during your time of grieving. Give yourself a good year to grieve, is what I was told be a friend some years ago. And now, he has also passed away...😢
This is a part of life and perhaps the most difficult past of life is to lose people through death. But we will Find them again, in heaven, with the FATHER, whom we have eternal life with through Jesus Christ.
Keep walking forward in this life, and just do the best that you can each day. ❤
@Spiritualchick82 Thank You My Friend. Your Kind Words Have Truly Touched My Heart. Thank You For Sharing And May God Forever Hold You. Your Words Mean A Lot. God Bless You🙏🙏!
So much truth in this video. I can be with a group of people whom I love, but still feel so lonely, craving that one person who will never be with me again. Thank you Jo.
I understand the process for grief mentally and physically. But what do you do when you literally are not allowed to process grief in your life when friends and family do not want you to experience it? They just want everything to go back to normal. Even when I communicate my needs to them they do not hear me. That is more disturbing to me than experiencing the grief.
My husband died four years ago I am always now afraid on my own house I cannot get used to him not being here
I don’t know if you’re able to but I do know that our pups having a great comfort to us since my Sunday, December 31, 2023
The funeral home even let us bring my sons pup and his kitty in to see him before the service. It was truly beautiful and so very heartbreaking all at the same time to see my son’s dog, licking his face.
So all that to say, maybe you could adopt a small dog and the dog shelter. Those dogs need love so bad. I’m a real advocate for adopting not buying. But even if you have to buy us a dog because you can’t find one any other way, they really do keep you company. And they very much are loving. I don’t know how old you are or anything but we take our dog the dog classes, so they learn manners and just learn to be nice little “humans.”
A good friend died last march,my mother died in the April and the day after her funeral was the day my best friend was killed in an accident at work,I had been my mother's carer for seven years so I've lost my job,mother and my loving friends,I have never been so lonely,feel like a wounded animal but I have to find strength to get a job when in reality I would rather hide.
Two months have past since I lost my daughter , at work now I wonder if others are tired of hearing about “Tristan “ but I can’t help but talk about her … this sometimes feels lonely for sure
Tristan is a beautiful name. You need to talk and keep talking. It’s all so soon not to say her name. 💜
I find bring on my own very hard please pray for me .
I can definitely relate to loneliness and isolation
Thank you for the valuable information and help! I lost my brother and then 2 weeks later my husband of 40 years dies suddenly. Even though it's been 2 yrs ago, I am definitely going through it. It's a ball of everchanging emotions.
I'm very sorry about your husband, trust me I completely understand how you feel, I felt the same way when my wife past away June 4th 2018 grief is hard to deal with but we learn to live with it, where are you from..?.:..
I feel very hurt by family, we don't live near each other, I live in another country. They knew my son and the troubles we all had.
They also know how much I loved him but they don't seem to understand what losing my boy has done to me.
Sorry for your loss. I totally understand your pain. Unfortunately most people won’t understand what we are going through. Losing a child is excruciating!
@@70something Thankyou. Almost 8 months ago. How long ago is it for you?
@@iicejj 6 and a half years. It still hurts as much if not more. I know we all grieve our own way. Time for me hasn’t made it easier, just different.
We’re it not for podcasts like this one where people share their stories and such, I’d be even more isolated and alone. Thank you for sharing your story hugs and kisses to you ❤️
My Mom passed in 2002...My Grandmother who raised me, the woman who I lived with since birth passed 5 months later. Its been 20yrs and Im crying today like it just happened. I dont feel connected to anyone. I reach out but like u said they dont show up in the capacity that I need. They show up with words via text and the words sound empty... I have no siblings. Ive had 2 Generations of Maternal Family members pass away. Lately I felt so lonely. Ppl around me, friends are sick, or have loved ones who are on hospice, or loves ones that have been killed or passed away from sickness. Their grief brings up the grief inside of me. 20yrs. Its like life has passed me by.
My identical twin sister died 11 months ago. While we lived 150 miles apart, we texted constantly. The quiet is so lonely. My husband has been an amazing supporter, and I have two friends who occasionally reach out, so I am lucky for that. But, nothing could have ever prepared me for this.
I’m so sorry for your loss
I feel the same. Nothing could have prepared me for this loss.. my wife of over 30 years. Everything feels so different now.