Also, it's not just people, it's pets. Not to minimize the grief of losing a human in your life, but our relationships with our pets are so close, so simple, the love so unconditional - that in a way it's more difficult to deal with, especially since it's way lower on the ladder than pretty much every other form of loss.
I lost my husband of 13 years, the love of my life, about a month ago in a car accident. He was only 40. I feel so lost. We had just bought a house and we only got to live in it together for one year. I don't know how I'm going to survive, I cant even comprehend the future without him. We were supposed to grow old together. My world is shattered.
You really get it….because you lived it. It’s only been 3 months for me since my husband passed. The single most traumatic experience of my life. The grief is profoundly painful and confusing. Who am I? How do live I without my husband of 32 years? The loneliness is unbearable but the world doesn’t stop because of it. One day at a time.
Thank you for your message. Bereavement is not nearly long enough for a spouse. My wife passed away from cancer in February 2024. I was her Caregiver during the last 2 years and still trying to work for our health insurance. After she passed away, I was expected to come back onsite to work full time after just one week of bereavement. Grief in our fast paced society is definitely not addressed by employers. Grieving for my wife is not one week of bereavement! I am seeking group therapy, and talking with others about how they are dealing with their grieving process. I really didn't realize how Grieving is not acknowledged in our society. Grieving is one of the most underrated emotional challenges I am going through. Thank you for your support and advice!
I am with you there brother. My wife passed in 5-11-24 from a heart attack unexpectedly. My employer gave one work week of bereavement leave. I took a second week of my own PTO, then went back to work. My head is just not in the game and I am a cop. Our society should recognize at least 3-6 months to get some adjustment to this new life. It is hell.
@@GeoffOdom-nn4ez Take care of ourselves, I am with you and praying for you. It is devastating and our world seems so lacking in compassion. Take care.
I lost my husband 5 months ago. I am 35 years old with a 11 month old. This clip resonates so true to me. I was in shock and numb for the first few months when everyone was around. Then everyone disappeared. Society thought I was "okay" because I was numb the first few months and went back to work seemingly "fine". Thank you for addressing this. I needed this today!
I lost my husband 31 days back..i m 30..he was 30..he was doctor..we Don't have kid..he committed suicide suffering from depression.. We were married for 1yr 5 months and was in relationship for 9 years.. Each day is more challenging now..i can't live without him..i am craving for his touch for his presence.. My entire world is shattered..
I am so sorry for what you are going through. My brother is also going through this. His wife committed suicide not even a week ago...my heart hurts for your and for him and for all having to navigate this world in a new normal. Please give yourself grace and time...healing will come in time.
You are so on point! While married ppl want to advise widows they really need to be quiet and stop telling me I need to move on when they still have a living spouse....they will never understand until it happens to them!!!!
Or when your single best friend doesn’t get it and says “someone will come to you again and show you a lot of love”. NOT what you want to ever hear. No. Esp after losing the love of your life.
My brother died in October of this year. My heart has NEVER been broken. I have NEVER been brokenhearted EVER!! Not even when my grandma died or my paw paw died I cried but never had a broken heart.
Gosh I relate. Lost my mom a month ago. People are horrible, somehow they managed to make me feel even worse..! I talk to her to find strength but life is unbearable without her😢..Sending you hugs and comfort. You're not alone honey 🩵
My husband passed 5 months ago, I am struggling to live my day to day life without him. Thank you for the work you are doing to help us live with grief.
My father passed away 21st November 2023 and I’m in such pain. The pain is in my chest and it’s constant. He passed away suddenly and I cannot imagine my life without him. He was everything to me and I’m so lost now. I cry constantly and I’m in a constant state of sadness and a heavy feeling. I have 2 young girls and I’m struggling with loosing my dad and trying to be a good parent. I was also made redundant a week after my father died. Life has completely destroyed me.
My husband died on Nov. 21st, 2023 as well. I have two daughters in their late 20's and 30. One of my daughters has two babies. She was actually 7 months pregnant when he died. I am so sorry for you. Your post resonated with me. We as a family are grieving in so many ways. It is an emotional roller coaster.
Your book was a source of great comfort and a reality check, even a few years later, after I lost my young wife in the Winter/Spring on 2014. It doesn't disappear. It just gets easier to carry. Thank you for everything.
in 2014, my uncle was on his deathbed and I was in summer classes in college. it was finals week and I told my professor I HAD to leave because my uncle was *literally* dying. I was told I would fail that class. I gladly took that F because I wasn't gonna miss my uncles last days; the uncle who helped raise me alongside my teen mom because my biodad was not in the picture. my 4.0 GPA didn't matter and instead of getting financial aid, it was taken and I owed $15K just for that .0000001 hour I missed for my uncle. haven't paid a cent because they can suck it. I can't go back to school there now because of how much I owe them in student loans and that one missed final. I don't regret it one bit. wasn't much of a sacrifice considering how pointless a college degree is now anyways
i lost the woman of my dreams almost 2 months ago.. some days hurt more than others and sometimes it feels like it will hurt forever. It helps me to believe that i will be reunited with her again and when that day comes i will get to share all my stories and experiences with her. i want to believe that she is waiting for me on the other side and i love her enough to live patiently and complete my life until the day comes. im trying my best everyday. i also try to reverse the roles and if i were to pass, i would truly want her to find strength through all the pain. I want to tell her that we will all go one day but until then; Find happiness. Live, laugh and love because it feels good and you deserve to feel joy. You are beautiful, so make your life beautiful to match it ❤ i love you Zanay.
My husband and I were married 50 years, I buried him last week and am paralyzed with pain. He had a condition called Primary Progressive Aphasia, which robbed him of his ability to speak and think clearly. I was able to keep him home and care for him until his last day. I can't imagine my life without him.
This was spot on with everything that you talked about. My husband died a month ago. It is not my first experience with grief but each time is different. It is terrible and I hate every minute of it. I am kinda a zombie right now, just waiting for the pain to not be so severe.
Yes, it is so hard. My wife of 21 years died suddenly, leaving me with 2 kids in high school. Just devastating. How do you keep going? It seems impossible.
I lost my 16 year old son and my fiance 9/5/23. I've had someone tell me to pack up my fiance's stuff and put it in the garage and move on, I'm not ready to move on it's to early
Don’t let people tell you what to do. That’s very insensitive of that person. Nobody has the right to tell u what to do. Grieve however and as long as you want. I’m so sorry for your loss. Hugs. 🙏🏻❤️
It’s hard not to feel rage on your behalf at hearing this asinine comment that was said to you. What I will say is to take care of you. Feel what you feel and seek out solace where you can. Try to ignore these unhelpful comments. And experience whatever emotions you have. One day at a time. That’s all you can do.
My deepest condolences . You take all of the time that you need. Don't allow others to dictate when you should move on. Very few people will get it. Pray and ask for strength. I will be praying for you as well.❤
I unexpectedly lost my wife of 20 years four weeks ago last night. She was 52. Not liking this grief crap, not at all. Never had experience with real grief before. I'm reading, studying and watching video's to try and understand the process. Joined a weekly grief group. I'm ping ponging around the various stages that they talk about. I don't really have the luxury of breaking down, we have a special needs child and I have to keep a calm and consistent environment for him. While I'm busy I'm functional but when he's in school or asleep it does sneak up on me a bit. Kim was always told that she couldn't have kids so our son was the center of her universe, her miracle. If I don't give him as happy and normal a life as possible I wouldn't be surprised if she came down just to kick me where it counts. It does give me focus but also scares the crap out of me. I've never been a fearful person, always was an adrenaline junkie. But now I'm worried about getting hurt or sick because there is no backup to help care for our son or our pets. My closest family is a 16 hour drive away. I fell off of a 10' ladder onto our tile floor while changing light bulbs last year. Ended up on crutches for 6 weeks. I can't afford to have something like that happen now. Not a fan of this fear either. I stopped smoking on Christmas Eve, Kim died on January 5th. Talk about timing. I don't miss the smoke or nicotine, that kind of stuff doesn't get to me. I do very much miss taking the dog out with Kim and having a smoke and conversation. Going out to a restaurant and grabbing a smoke and more conversation on the way to the car. Grabbing a smoke and a chat before we went into a store. Haven't broken down and smoked, not going to since I'm the only caretaker for my son now. But any time one of those smoke/conversation moments pop up it sure puts a lump in my throat. I miss our conversations, nobody on this planet knew me the way that she did. She'd always giggle at my stupid Dad jokes, even if she'd heard them a dozen times before. She was interested in the same books, the same entertainment, mostly the same music (she gets a strike for the disco and the rap), the same world events. She'd always call me on my BS. She knew when I needed a hug and when I needed to be kicked in the rear. It's still hard to believe that this huge part of my life is over. All the plans and dreams that we had. All the things we were going to do together as old farts. I always thought that I was pretty independent, I didn't really need people, never had a problem spending time alone. Boy did that come back and bite me. Can't believe that I'm mourning conversations that we'll never have. We both got hooked on a book series called the Dresden Files when we first got together. The author pumps our a new book every year or so, we'd both read them and have some great conversations about them. He put out a new book over a year ago that had some major events take place that would completely change the series. I've impatiently waited for over a year to talk to her about it, I didn't want to spoil any of the surprises. Now we won't be having that conversation at all. I get mourning memories of things that we did together, never thought it would include things that we hadn't gotten around to doing yet.
I’m so very sorry for your tremendous loss. I know there’s nothing anyone can say to make you feel better. I hope you will find a support group, an online group perhaps where you can continue to write and share your feelings. This was very lovely and heartfelt..and of course sad. Best of luck, you are not alone.
Wonderful advice. It’s been two years since my son passed away and I’m just now completely understanding the depth of my pain and my relationship with grief
I lost my mom to cancer 6 years ago on April 6th. I survived cancer 17 years ago on March 28…and recently I lost my dad on March 31 to cancer. I’ve been telling everyone that I’m ok, but yesterday I crashed! I’m not ok; but I don’t know what I need!
Thank you! I lost my mother a month ago and this is the worst pain I’ve ever felt! It’s just one day at a time for me. I’m not okay don’t know if I’ll ever be just gotta get up and keep going!
I also lost my wife from 39 years of marriage to Glioblastoma in Feb 2023. I think I handled the first 3 months well but these last two months has been a rollercoaster of ups and downs and felling horrible. It is just difficult to describe the feelings and when asked how I am doing I just say I am doing good and hide how I am really feeling because no one would understand my felling's, not even myself. If it would not have been for all the resources that are in RUclips and the internet I would not have known what was happening to me. There is simply no right way to handle grief and it seems that we will just have to handle this for the rest of our life's.
I lost my husband a month ago and I was a stay at home mom I've got a bad heart so was taking a break from work. My husband being the only bread winner no income coming in. We were married 20 years since I turned 19 all i know is him. We were best friends this has been so hard and I'm only a month in. I pray it gets easier.
My wife passed suddenly 3 days ago. I'm not well. Thanks for that. Not much sleep, so much anxiety fueled energy I decided at 4 am to post on Facebook. I also checked the pages of my widowed/widower friends to get an update to see how they were doing and found your work shared. Thank you for what you do.
Charles, as I write this, I am sitting next to the love of my life of 32 years, holding her hand. She is unresponsive and on her last days in hospice from Stage 4 colon cancer. All I can do is hold her hand. I am devastated that I cant do more and dont know where to go from here. I feel for you brother. I wish you the best, and if you have any tips on how to make it thru, please share.
I lost my husband 4 weeks ago (very suddenly), I'm so sorry you're going through this. I hope you're having some good days in between everything else. Just found Nora today as well, and she's the most comforting person I've found.
My wife passed on August 25. It was the hardest day of my life. Its been 13 days of hell. I am so lonely and depressed. Seeking counseling now, just need help getting through this. My best friend has gone, and I am alone. I know it will get better, but for now, this sucks.
@CharlesScarpulla sorry for your loss🕊. I completely understand how you feel. My husband unexpectedly and suddenly died August 24th. The grief is unbearable. 💔
I lost my younger brother whose body had to wait almost a year to be shipped for burial due to the covid. Next my dad and a cousin passed away. Last week (9/23) my cousin’s fiancé who are both my friends and grew up with me died too together with the twins she was expecting. I’ve been trying to block all the memories and emotions for awhile. But this last loss brought everything back. I’m overwhelmed, emotionally broken, feel cursed and abandoned by God. It hurts so bad. 😢
When the memories come, don't ignore them It's part of your grief,so allow yourself to grieve and with time it will reduce until you accept it happened and that you will never see them again
I'm 22 and my mum passed away a few weeks ago, quite unexpectedly. I feel so so lost and heartbroken and don't know where to go from here. I'm really trying to take all of this in, thank you for this video.
Oh honey! 22! If nobody has told you yet, that’s NOT FAIR! It’s normal to feel heartbroken; this is a heartbreaking loss. I have found a lot of comfort in looking for and finding signs from my dead dad and husband; the relationships don’t end they change (and of course it’s not as good as having them here!)
I also lost a parent. I’m 26 and I lost my dear father one year ago. I too feel lost as well…I still need him…his love…his guidance. I’m so sorry you’re going through this. Sending you lots of love from here 🙏🏼
I was a wreck when my dog passed away but 10 months later I lost my mom. I am missing her so much and I wish I believed in heaven because the thought of never seeing her again is agonizing.
I lost my mom almost a month ago. I am a complete mess. My body is in shock, i feel emotionally and physically unwell. I don’t know how I’m going to get through this.
I lost my husband less than 2 months ago and this really helped me. Because yes I am not fine but this helped me feel okay with the way I feel right now.
This video is everything. Your words resonate so close to home for me. I lost my partner almost a month ago, right before the holidays. Life feels so grey and empty without him around. People keep asking me how I’m doing, if I’m okay, and I just start to laugh because it seems just so absurd to ask such a question. I appreciate you Nora, for finding the words to articulate my feelings. Early grief to me feels like an open wound. I feel like a newborn baby. Raw and naked and vulnerable. Thank you for allowing me to embrace this grief even when I desperately try to suppress it and shut the feelings out.
I would prefer to get through this as fast as it is humanly possible. I never knew a person could cry this much in a week. There aren't enough things to clean. Not legally married nor named in the notice, so I could have lost my job too. So I can love intensely. Truth be told, I'd rather not.
Thank you so much for your Ted Talk and Podcast. I can’t wait to read your book. I lost my husband, best friend, soulmate, almost 11 months ago. It amazes me that people think I am doing so well because I play the part so well. I get up, get dressed, do my hair, do my makeup, and try to enjoy some activities with family and friends. We both must be up for an academy award because nobody really understands how awful I feel. It is so hard to get any sense of pleasure out of anything. My pleasure sense has been completely turned off. Not sure if it will ever truly turn back on. I just wanted to say thank you for being raw and real.
My first husband died of suicide. One baby in my lap and one in my belly. There was a brief period of grief, about a month, and then I just got angry. Stayed angry for 18 years. My FAVORITE husband died last week. Brain cancer. This past week I have been so sad. But grateful he didn’t linger. Well, we only got the diagnosis a month before he passed. Now I am struggling to get out of the chair. Thank you for your encouraging words. Two totally different experiences.
Big big big hug. Brain cancer is the absolute worst and I’m glad he didn’t have to suffer. Please know you are not alone and there are many brain cancer widows who feel this with you. ❤️
My FAVORITE husband (love that!) passed away June 15, 2024 in our bedroom. He had melanoma that spread rapidly through his poor body. He spent Memorial Day in the hospital where we got the "there's nothing more we can do" diagnosis, with confirmation that it had spread into his brain. I'm with you struggling to even get out of the chair. And, yes, I'm finding some comfort and real good advice from Nora! I hope you can find some peace soon ...
I lost my husband last month, one month today. He's my best friend, the love of my life ,my travel buddy. My everything. It is really hard to live each day without him. We have 3 children together and they are the reason why I keep on going with my life. I also have a very strong support from my family and friends. I terribly miss my husband. 😢
I lost my dad in March 3, 2024. It’s been a few months. I can’t go to his grave yet, can’t look at his pictures (even though I seen his passport picture today because my family is planning a trip in November) and have no idea how I can live my entire life without him. The only thing that calms me down is knowing he is with God now (I am Muslim) and like I never know when it will be my time to go either so thinking I may have 60 years before I die makes me so overwhelmed with grief but then thinking that maybe I have 6 minutes and not even know it so I can be resurrected with him sooner than I think, kind of gives me some type of relief. I hugged him for her last time without knowing it was the last time.
You are a godsend. I lost my dad last month and I came across your Ted talk over the weekend and now this showed up in my feed. The work you are doing helps so many of us. ❤
@@ash_calisthenics nothing prepares you for it whether it’s sudden or expected. Surround yourself with good people. Prepare yourself to feel let down by those you thought have always been in your corner. That’s another thing about grief. Reveals who your true friends are. It’s a personal journey. Cry it out. Get counseling if it gets too much. That’s all I can say. Hugs
I'm drinking a beer alone in my car, attended my older sisters funeral on friday, my moms last year, and my paternal grandmothers two months before that. I'm so tired of suffering loss. I want to be able to say that I'm ok so badly but I feel like I keep shattering and collecting my pieces before someone swats at my hands and causes me to drop my already broken pieces as they break further. I appreciate hearing it's ok to put me first. I love your podcast and just stumbled on this video , thank you for making your pain so visible for us still collecting our own pieces.
My mother died in 2022. I wrote my book about The Path to Conscious Grief, during my grief, because I did not find help to my pain. I did it in Spanish. It will be ready soon in English. I offer, like you a RUclips channel because we need resources to face our grief. Thank you so much!
I lost my hubby 3yrs to covid. And the process of grieving I kept telling people I'm fine some would tell me get over it time to move on. Like how do u move on with going thru traumatic experience when your love one passes In your arms. And front of our child. Yes I may seem strong on the outside but inside I'm screaming. Have my moments cry wipe my tears and go about my day. Some mope around give up. Can't. You'll get sick emotionally.
Words so well spoken from someone that truly gets it. The only way is to move forward at our own pace. I lost my beautiful wife, soulmate, and best friend for 25 years. It was a slow, painful process involving ALS. Why has the second year been so much more difficult? Be ready to be reinvented. I do shit now that I never in a million years would think I would be doing. Yoga, meditation and nature. Who me? 😱 Thru meditation I have been able to make "connect" with my wife. It's given me so much understanding to why these things happen and given me great comfort. Love you all. 💕
My son battled leukemia for three years. That was my disease too. My other son got abandoned on the way. Every minute of each day was done hoping for the day we will finally reunite and go back to life. He is 13 and no longer here. He trusted me and I feel I lied to him. Dealing with everyone and with the loss is incompatible. My other son, his sibling 11 and I have nothing in common anymore. I won’t hurt myself, I don’t want to hurt the feelings of the ones who love me either. I just want to be in my trance alone. I do not know how to move from one minute to another.
My grief for my mother’s passing has only increased with time and I attend two support groups. I’ve lost in my life a best friend at 5 years old, my father and I’ve had 7 miscarriages. Only the loss of my mother was by far the biggest loss yet. My mother was part of my identity a cheerleader and a person that loved me unconditionally. I have 4 other siblings all of whom haven’t supported the feelings I have on the loss. I sat at the casket all alone to say goodbye. Goodbye to the person that made me who I am. Work reluctantly paid me saying I really didn’t qualify and I was the only one to care about my mom leaving this world. How do I know this ???? One sister signed the papers and ran off and no one else was there but me. How do you forgive that ???? Then came the belongings that I had to dumpster dive to save because a brother in law decided my mother’s things belonged in a dumpster. I had to rescue a dying dog left in my mother’s home by a Neice the list is endless on how heartless these family members acted. Oh yes did I mention they had time to travel for pleasure instead. I will never get over this NEVER. In fact time just makes it worse because no one talks to me for saying mom needed help it was an emergency. They couldn’t care that mom with dementia needed help. My mother was a beautiful person who worked hard all her life for them she was giving and an artist who loved to garden. I’m sure she is in heaven painting and gardening with the other angels but I am stuck down here with pure evil and it’s a lonely grief 😢
My mumma died 7days ago, I’ve never dealt with death before & im completely broken and I can’t stop crying.. I stare at the sky for hours looking for her
My problem with grief is that i'm afraid to share my feelings with someone and open up because i have made myself vulnerable with the wrong people before and they just told me to stop feeling sorry for myself and to stop looking for attention. and so im just always afraid to open up and they perceive it as self-pity / self-centerdness.
Just had my grandmas funeral yesterday. 6th family member in two years. Some parts desensitized to, but never gets easier. Perspective shifts on how you make decisions going forward. 7:047:32
Lost my wife six months ago. Have watched a bunch of videos on the subject of grief as I work my way through this new reality. All of the videos have felt performative and insincere as a result, no matter how well intended. Yours is the first I watched that felt sincere and authentic and it touched me. Thanks for doing this.
Thank you for the best advice I've found on grief. My son died 5 weeks ago and feeling the pain is absolutely necessary. So awful, so hard. I won't be the same ever I realize that, I wish other people could know that; so I tell them, I am not okay, I'll be better someday but not the same.
A supposed good friend of mine told me she was too busy when i asked her why she hasent called me to see how im doing? I lost my brother in law, father, my dog luna, and uncle all within 6 months this year!! Its been horrible!! 😢
I relate to this video so much. I am a perfectionist. I sought to save my significant other from her illnesses and feel as if I failed her now that she’s passed. Now I feel I must transform this grief into some kind of show of wisdom and self improvement attainment. The truth is, my Susan was such an angel and just her smile inspired everyone and I’m upset it had to end. We had the best 6 years ever and I treated each day like the last. I’m thankful and grateful but I feel selfish wanting more. I feel life is surreal and very dissociated. What a messy process I have to go through. I just want to feel good again beside her loving on her and making her feel good. That was my source of pleasure in life.
My mom passed two weeks ago and she was my only friend and the only one that loved me. I’m so not fine and I hate life now. Im so scared of how low I’m feeling. 😞
Thank you. My D adadied on December 23rd of this year. Sudden death. no one saw this coming. this is the friest for me in someone in my family t someone that is close to me. hearing you explain help me know I not crazy. its will take time, today is a heavy day . thank you for this
Wife died of cancer a year ago. Yes, agree grief is a chronic condition. I volunteer as a facilitator in GriefShare program. Agree too, that everyone grieves differently.
I watched your Ted and thank you so much for being you. Your humor and way of communicating truly reminds me of me. I was isolated, starting a new job in another state immediately after my partners passing and social media was my outlet and way of keeping contact w/ friends and family. Through my grief I found sharing helped me heal and your speech was so relatable. I'm just trying to navigate all the emotions and also be a light for those around me. Not everyone gets my sense of humor, but I've had others tell me that my openness has helped. You are an inspiration. :)
3:08 “I wanted so badly to be the best at grief” - bam. Nail on the head for me right there. Lost my mom at the end of July and I have felt so much pressure to “do this right”
I lost my dad two weeks ago, it was so sudden and I flew back home as soon as I heard. Now I am back, having to "move forward" in a middle of an MBA. I am still so sad, and cant find myself to fully enjoy this year I worked so hard to get to. Been having a hard time to sleep, but thank you for what you do.
I read the the hot young widows club book, several months ago and to be honest it has helped me the most with my grief. It's been 14 months since my husband of 45 years past and I still miss him so much. Thank you Nora for all your help
So well said and very helpful. 3 weeks since her passing and it is getting harder, not easier. Maybe the shock is wearing off and reality is hitting? I want what I can never have and that is, I want my wife back with me.
Imagine how incredibly lonely and isolating it is to grieve for an disenfranchised loss! It utterly devastating! There is no one to share with. I am so sad that I allow myself to cry in my car or at home until I cannot cry anymore. It is heartwrenching to miss someone that is still alive and not being able to contact them because of ubrequited love. Society says move on. They criticized me to no end and I have chosen to grieve alone. Sometimes I cry myself to sleep. It is not easy. I create art and journal, but having support from a close person is what I yearn for. I don't like to hide to feel my feelings...
Thank you. It's been 2 months apart for my Orest and I. I can't tell you how many people have told me you need to join my church, you need to get rid of his things or my favorite.... "oh, I haven't reached out to you, because, you need space and time to yourself." Ummm, after living with the love of my life for 31 years, being left all alone is not what I need.
its been less tahn a month since my bf passed and everyday i hate that im here and hes not. a day at a time . but time has slowed down and time i wish i had when he was here i now have and im not sure what to do with myself. thanks for your words bc not everyone gets it .
I lost my husband of 48 years just 2 months ago. Everyone has always told me that I am the strongest, toughest woman they know and I am trying not to let them down. If anyone actually knew what I really feeling deep inside they would probably have me committed or at least on strong meds.
I lost my aunt/best friend one week ago today.She lost her daughter six months ago.She died of a broken 💔 and I'm just devastated by it all....Ive cried every day now for six months and can't see an end to it.Thankfully I work alone so I can cry as much as I need to...This crap sucks!
I can feel you I lost my partner for 12 years last April 14, it’s so painful I can’t explain the pain I even cried at work 😢 & every night . He was diagnosed lung cancer last Feb 2024 & died April , it’s so fast in just 2 months he is gone it’s just hard to accept 😢, but thank GOD I have my 2 kids with me & my Fellow Christian at our church & God I just prayed a lot & cried to God to help me on this painful event in my life 😢 u tc @marybell just cried if u want too process of grief & it helps & pray & be with people who love & care for you❤
How can I be honest with others if I‘m not honest with myself? I actually think I‘m doing „fine“. But I also had almost not a single day for myself/to think/to feel since my mom passed two months ago. I am mostly functioning, not feeling.
I just lost my lover 3 weeks ago.. I walked in on him lifeless on the floor due to addiction … I miss him so deeply …we were going to get married .. he had just given me a ring 3 months before … he was such a beautiful creative person.. this was my first love .. he lived a lot of different lives that I haven’t … I wish I can be with him again and just look into his eyes and feel his bones close to mine… I feel so alone without him and back to being missunderstood … I have noticed everyone wants me to get better already .. but they just don’t get it … they want me to be back to work and just be back to the “ real world “
Just found your podcast after your appearance on GGE. The year 2021 was my worst year ever. My brother, 33 yrs old healthy, died of COVID and then my father died from cancer the day after Christmas that year. To top things off my best friend of 25 years died in January this year (2022). I'm still trying to cope with grief and how to work through it :(. The "wanting to be so good at grief" is where I'm at. I am really good at faking it to make it but I'm not so mentally exhausted.
My mom passed away 11 years ago and 4 yrs later i had a major breakup with my boyfriend. Never grieved, blocked my emotions, blocked people , blocked everything. Until this April 2024 everything came up and 12 yrs later I an niw greiving both situations. It is intense, I don’t know what to do with these emotions but Im taking one day at a time. I cry mostly everyday, im broken internally, feels like someone has to tell me how to do this life. But i know im gonna come out stronger. So anyone newly grieving please take your time.
I will soon be losing my dad to cancer, i also lost a close friend to suicide and got dumped by my gf all in the space of 3 weeks, i somehow need to get through this grief whilst helping my mum get through losing her husband of 42 years 😢😢😢
I just turned 22 and i lost the love of my life, he was just 23, in a tragic accident less than a month ago. Im utterly lost and just trying to live one day at a time. Its so miserable and so much dreams left unlived. Idk what to do
I lost my partner, father of our now 7 month old, on Easter of this year. Been almost 2 months and I’m still just as heartbroken as the morning I heard that he passed away 💔 support has definitely went down and I’m left here to grieve and raise two children alone. I miss him so much. I pray God gets me through this… 🙏🏽
2 years losing my Husband, it is a fresh as if it happened yesterday. I can't bear these days without him. It's not getting better 😢💔😢
Also, it's not just people, it's pets. Not to minimize the grief of losing a human in your life, but our relationships with our pets are so close, so simple, the love so unconditional - that in a way it's more difficult to deal with, especially since it's way lower on the ladder than pretty much every other form of loss.
I lost my husband of 13 years, the love of my life, about a month ago in a car accident. He was only 40. I feel so lost. We had just bought a house and we only got to live in it together for one year. I don't know how I'm going to survive, I cant even comprehend the future without him. We were supposed to grow old together. My world is shattered.
I’m so sorry. I can’t even imagine how painful this must be. Hang in there🙏
You really get it….because you lived it. It’s only been 3 months for me since my husband passed. The single most traumatic experience of my life. The grief is profoundly painful and confusing. Who am I? How do live I without my husband of 32 years? The loneliness is unbearable but the world doesn’t stop because of it. One day at a time.
I so get this 💔
hope you're doing a tiny bit better 4 months further along, sorry for your loss.
How are you getting on? I need to help my mum through this
I’m at this stage, 3 months of legal complexities, the Funeral. Then reality really kicks in, the loneliness and pain is unbearable.
This is where im at now😢
Thank you for your message. Bereavement is not nearly long enough for a spouse. My wife passed away from cancer in February 2024. I was her Caregiver during the last 2 years and still trying to work for our health insurance.
After she passed away, I was expected to come back onsite to work full time after just one week of bereavement. Grief in our fast paced society is definitely not addressed by employers. Grieving for my wife is not one week of bereavement!
I am seeking group therapy, and talking with others about how they are dealing with their grieving process.
I really didn't realize how Grieving is not acknowledged in our society. Grieving is one of the most underrated emotional challenges I am going through. Thank you for your support and advice!
I am with you there brother. My wife passed in 5-11-24 from a heart attack unexpectedly. My employer gave one work week of bereavement leave. I took a second week of my own PTO, then went back to work. My head is just not in the game and I am a cop. Our society should recognize at least 3-6 months to get some adjustment to this new life. It is hell.
@@GeoffOdom-nn4ez
Take care of ourselves, I am with you and praying for you. It is devastating and our world seems so lacking in compassion.
Take care.
I lost my husband 5 months ago. I am 35 years old with a 11 month old. This clip resonates so true to me. I was in shock and numb for the first few months when everyone was around. Then everyone disappeared. Society thought I was "okay" because I was numb the first few months and went back to work seemingly "fine". Thank you for addressing this. I needed this today!
I lost my husband 31 days back..i m 30..he was 30..he was doctor..we Don't have kid..he committed suicide suffering from depression..
We were married for 1yr 5 months and was in relationship for 9 years.. Each day is more challenging now..i can't live without him..i am craving for his touch for his presence.. My entire world is shattered..
I am so sorry for what you are going through. My brother is also going through this. His wife committed suicide not even a week ago...my heart hurts for your and for him and for all having to navigate this world in a new normal. Please give yourself grace and time...healing will come in time.
@kcobbx63 hm
My mother passed away just over two weeks ago. Sometimes i feel like im coping, yet it hits me like a storm.
You are so on point! While married ppl want to advise widows they really need to be quiet and stop telling me I need to move on when they still have a living spouse....they will never understand until it happens to them!!!!
Or when your single best friend doesn’t get it and says “someone will come to you again and show you a lot of love”. NOT what you want to ever hear. No. Esp after losing the love of your life.
Well said!
Exactly! Well said
I miss my mom today, she passed away less than a year ago. Todays really challenging for me. I’m 40 years old and having a real sad day today.
I'm so sorry. I am hoping you can find some moments of peace during all the turmoil and sadness.
So sorry to hear. :(
You are not alone!
My spouse transitioned this month. Thank you for your advice. I appreciate your heartfelt comments.
My brother died in October of this year. My heart has NEVER been broken. I have NEVER been brokenhearted EVER!! Not even when my grandma died or my paw paw died I cried but never had a broken heart.
My mom died of Cancer a month ago. The support lasted about 3 weeks and has now evaporated.
Gosh I relate. Lost my mom a month ago. People are horrible, somehow they managed to make me feel even worse..! I talk to her to find strength but life is unbearable without her😢..Sending you hugs and comfort. You're not alone honey 🩵
So true. They expect you are now ok. Will we ever be ok after such a loss?
They expect you feel the same way they do
Same here mate 😢
My husband passed 5 months ago, I am struggling to live my day to day life without him. Thank you for the work you are doing to help us live with grief.
The biggest trigger for me right now are the three words HOW ARE YOU!
I lost my wife 3 months ago and this is also my biggest trigger. I just want to scream I lost the love of my life, how do you think I am?
Me too. Do they really want me to answer that?
I hate those words now too. I got sick of saying “I’m fine”
My father passed away 21st November 2023 and I’m in such pain. The pain is in my chest and it’s constant. He passed away suddenly and I cannot imagine my life without him. He was everything to me and I’m so lost now.
I cry constantly and I’m in a constant state of sadness and a heavy feeling. I have 2 young girls and I’m struggling with loosing my dad and trying to be a good parent.
I was also made redundant a week after my father died. Life has completely destroyed me.
My husband died on Nov. 21st, 2023 as well. I have two daughters in their late 20's and 30. One of my daughters has two babies. She was actually 7 months pregnant when he died. I am so sorry for you. Your post resonated with me. We as a family are grieving in so many ways. It is an emotional roller coaster.
Your book was a source of great comfort and a reality check, even a few years later, after I lost my young wife in the Winter/Spring on 2014. It doesn't disappear. It just gets easier to carry. Thank you for everything.
in 2014, my uncle was on his deathbed and I was in summer classes in college. it was finals week and I told my professor I HAD to leave because my uncle was *literally* dying. I was told I would fail that class. I gladly took that F because I wasn't gonna miss my uncles last days; the uncle who helped raise me alongside my teen mom because my biodad was not in the picture. my 4.0 GPA didn't matter and instead of getting financial aid, it was taken and I owed $15K just for that .0000001 hour I missed for my uncle. haven't paid a cent because they can suck it. I can't go back to school there now because of how much I owe them in student loans and that one missed final. I don't regret it one bit. wasn't much of a sacrifice considering how pointless a college degree is now anyways
This has been the most lonely and lowest I have ever been since my husband passed away 3 months ago after 26 years together. I miss him so much.
I just lost my husband last week. I still can’t breathe…. I am standing with you
Indeed .. wish i could turn back the hands of time .. i wish i could cry & shout. Everybody Will Go but Not soon 😭.
@@paolaespinoza1559lost my wife a month ago. It doesn't get better for me with the passing of each day. Loneliness is a killer.
i lost the woman of my dreams almost 2 months ago.. some days hurt more than others and sometimes it feels like it will hurt forever. It helps me to believe that i will be reunited with her again and when that day comes i will get to share all my stories and experiences with her. i want to believe that she is waiting for me on the other side and i love her enough to live patiently and complete my life until the day comes. im trying my best everyday. i also try to reverse the roles and if i were to pass, i would truly want her to find strength through all the pain. I want to tell her that we will all go one day but until then; Find happiness. Live, laugh and love because it feels good and you deserve to feel joy. You are beautiful, so make your life beautiful to match it ❤ i love you Zanay.
How are you getting on? I will soon be losing my dad and I need to help my mum through this
My husband and I were married 50 years, I buried him last week and am paralyzed with pain. He had a condition called Primary Progressive Aphasia, which robbed him of his ability to speak and think clearly. I was able to keep him home and care for him until his last day. I can't imagine my life without him.
I’m so sorry for your loss.
💔💔
I’m so sorry ! It’s been almost 4 months for me !
This was spot on with everything that you talked about. My husband died a month ago. It is not my first experience with grief but each time is different. It is terrible and I hate every minute of it. I am kinda a zombie right now, just waiting for the pain to not be so severe.
I'm with you. ....I'm feeling exactly what your saying!
Thank you. My husband passed away 4 Months ago. Have 2 young children. It is so hard😢.
💔😘
My ex husband passed a moth ago left with our boys my youngest has changed his behaviour I’m frightened, it’s painful 😢
Yes, it is so hard. My wife of 21 years died suddenly, leaving me with 2 kids in high school. Just devastating. How do you keep going? It seems impossible.
I lost my 16 year old son and my fiance 9/5/23. I've had someone tell me to pack up my fiance's stuff and put it in the garage and move on, I'm not ready to move on it's to early
Sorry for your loss
Don’t let people tell you what to do. That’s very insensitive of that person. Nobody has the right to tell u what to do. Grieve however and as long as you want. I’m so sorry for your loss. Hugs. 🙏🏻❤️
It’s hard not to feel rage on your behalf at hearing this asinine comment that was said to you.
What I will say is to take care of you. Feel what you feel and seek out solace where you can. Try to ignore these unhelpful comments. And experience whatever emotions you have.
One day at a time. That’s all you can do.
My deepest condolences . You take all of the time that you need. Don't allow others to dictate when you should move on. Very few people will get it. Pray and ask for strength. I will be praying for you as well.❤
I unexpectedly lost my wife of 20 years four weeks ago last night. She was 52. Not liking this grief crap, not at all. Never had experience with real grief before. I'm reading, studying and watching video's to try and understand the process. Joined a weekly grief group. I'm ping ponging around the various stages that they talk about. I don't really have the luxury of breaking down, we have a special needs child and I have to keep a calm and consistent environment for him. While I'm busy I'm functional but when he's in school or asleep it does sneak up on me a bit. Kim was always told that she couldn't have kids so our son was the center of her universe, her miracle. If I don't give him as happy and normal a life as possible I wouldn't be surprised if she came down just to kick me where it counts.
It does give me focus but also scares the crap out of me. I've never been a fearful person, always was an adrenaline junkie. But now I'm worried about getting hurt or sick because there is no backup to help care for our son or our pets. My closest family is a 16 hour drive away. I fell off of a 10' ladder onto our tile floor while changing light bulbs last year. Ended up on crutches for 6 weeks. I can't afford to have something like that happen now. Not a fan of this fear either.
I stopped smoking on Christmas Eve, Kim died on January 5th. Talk about timing. I don't miss the smoke or nicotine, that kind of stuff doesn't get to me. I do very much miss taking the dog out with Kim and having a smoke and conversation. Going out to a restaurant and grabbing a smoke and more conversation on the way to the car. Grabbing a smoke and a chat before we went into a store. Haven't broken down and smoked, not going to since I'm the only caretaker for my son now. But any time one of those smoke/conversation moments pop up it sure puts a lump in my throat.
I miss our conversations, nobody on this planet knew me the way that she did. She'd always giggle at my stupid Dad jokes, even if she'd heard them a dozen times before. She was interested in the same books, the same entertainment, mostly the same music (she gets a strike for the disco and the rap), the same world events. She'd always call me on my BS. She knew when I needed a hug and when I needed to be kicked in the rear. It's still hard to believe that this huge part of my life is over. All the plans and dreams that we had. All the things we were going to do together as old farts. I always thought that I was pretty independent, I didn't really need people, never had a problem spending time alone. Boy did that come back and bite me.
Can't believe that I'm mourning conversations that we'll never have. We both got hooked on a book series called the Dresden Files when we first got together. The author pumps our a new book every year or so, we'd both read them and have some great conversations about them. He put out a new book over a year ago that had some major events take place that would completely change the series. I've impatiently waited for over a year to talk to her about it, I didn't want to spoil any of the surprises. Now we won't be having that conversation at all. I get mourning memories of things that we did together, never thought it would include things that we hadn't gotten around to doing yet.
I’m so very sorry for your tremendous loss. I know there’s nothing anyone can say to make you feel better. I hope you will find a support group, an online group perhaps where you can continue to write and share your feelings. This was very lovely and heartfelt..and of course sad. Best of luck, you are not alone.
Wonderful advice. It’s been two years since my son passed away and I’m just now completely understanding the depth of my pain and my relationship with grief
I lost my son 21 months ago. Oh my the hole it leaves in yr heart.
The pain is so unbearable at times. My heart goes out to you all.💔💜💜
I lost my mom to cancer 6 years ago on April 6th. I survived cancer 17 years ago on March 28…and recently I lost my dad on March 31 to cancer.
I’ve been telling everyone that I’m ok, but yesterday I crashed! I’m not ok; but I don’t know what I need!
My dad died when I was 13 a weekend before I began high school.. Never saw my mother cry. Not one teacher asked me if I was okay.
I’m so sorry !
Thank you! I lost my mother a month ago and this is the worst pain I’ve ever felt! It’s just one day at a time for me. I’m not okay don’t know if I’ll ever be just gotta get up and keep going!
I also lost my wife from 39 years of marriage to Glioblastoma in Feb 2023. I think I handled the first 3 months well but these last two months has been a rollercoaster of ups and downs and felling horrible. It is just difficult to describe the feelings and when asked how I am doing I just say I am doing good and hide how I am really feeling because no one would understand my felling's, not even myself. If it would not have been for all the resources that are in RUclips and the internet I would not have known what was happening to me. There is simply no right way to handle grief and it seems that we will just have to handle this for the rest of our life's.
I lost my husband a month ago and I was a stay at home mom I've got a bad heart so was taking a break from work. My husband being the only bread winner no income coming in. We were married 20 years since I turned 19 all i know is him. We were best friends this has been so hard and I'm only a month in. I pray it gets easier.
My wife passed suddenly 3 days ago. I'm not well. Thanks for that. Not much sleep, so much anxiety fueled energy I decided at 4 am to post on Facebook. I also checked the pages of my widowed/widower friends to get an update to see how they were doing and found your work shared. Thank you for what you do.
Charles, as I write this, I am sitting next to the love of my life of 32 years, holding her hand. She is unresponsive and on her last days in hospice from Stage 4 colon cancer. All I can do is hold her hand. I am devastated that I cant do more and dont know where to go from here. I feel for you brother. I wish you the best, and if you have any tips on how to make it thru, please share.
I lost my husband 4 weeks ago (very suddenly), I'm so sorry you're going through this. I hope you're having some good days in between everything else. Just found Nora today as well, and she's the most comforting person I've found.
My wife passed on August 25. It was the hardest day of my life. Its been 13 days of hell. I am so lonely and depressed. Seeking counseling now, just need help getting through this. My best friend has gone, and I am alone. I know it will get better, but for now, this sucks.
@CharlesScarpulla sorry for your loss🕊. I completely understand how you feel. My husband unexpectedly and suddenly died August 24th. The grief is unbearable. 💔
@troup1993 Sorry for your loss. My husband died August 24th😭
I lost my younger brother whose body had to wait almost a year to be shipped for burial due to the covid. Next my dad and a cousin passed away. Last week (9/23) my cousin’s fiancé who are both my friends and grew up with me died too together with the twins she was expecting. I’ve been trying to block all the memories and emotions for awhile. But this last loss brought everything back. I’m overwhelmed, emotionally broken, feel cursed and abandoned by God. It hurts so bad. 😢
I’m so very sorry you are going through this. My heart is with you.
When the memories come, don't ignore them
It's part of your grief,so allow yourself to grieve and with time it will reduce until you accept it happened and that you will never see them again
I’m so sorry !
I'm 22 and my mum passed away a few weeks ago, quite unexpectedly. I feel so so lost and heartbroken and don't know where to go from here. I'm really trying to take all of this in, thank you for this video.
Oh honey! 22! If nobody has told you yet, that’s NOT FAIR! It’s normal to feel heartbroken; this is a heartbreaking loss. I have found a lot of comfort in looking for and finding signs from my dead dad and husband; the relationships don’t end they change (and of course it’s not as good as having them here!)
I also lost a parent. I’m 26 and I lost my dear father one year ago. I too feel lost as well…I still need him…his love…his guidance.
I’m so sorry you’re going through this. Sending you lots of love from here 🙏🏼
I was a wreck when my dog passed away but 10 months later I lost my mom. I am missing her so much and I wish I believed in heaven because the thought of never seeing her again is agonizing.
That's so hard, I'm sorry.
I lost my mom almost a month ago. I am a complete mess. My body is in shock, i feel emotionally and physically unwell. I don’t know how I’m going to get through this.
@@livinlife8280 I am so sorry for you to be going through this. It must feel like the worst thing ever. I will keep you in my thoughts.
that is so terribly sad. I hope you are doing ok and working through such a tough and difficult time. I will keep you in my thoughts.
It’s not too late to believe. 🙏🏼 I’m sorry for the pain and loss you are going through.
I lost my husband less than 2 months ago and this really helped me. Because yes I am not fine but this helped me feel okay with the way I feel right now.
Dearest Nora, 3.5 years on. I must thank you, THANK YOU!, for your guidance, your empathy, your ability to make me laugh at the unimaginable.
Robert
This video is everything. Your words resonate so close to home for me. I lost my partner almost a month ago, right before the holidays. Life feels so grey and empty without him around. People keep asking me how I’m doing, if I’m okay, and I just start to laugh because it seems just so absurd to ask such a question.
I appreciate you Nora, for finding the words to articulate my feelings. Early grief to me feels like an open wound. I feel like a newborn baby. Raw and naked and vulnerable. Thank you for allowing me to embrace this grief even when I desperately try to suppress it and shut the feelings out.
You are so right. I just lost my partner 2 weeks ago; that question how you doing it stings every time I get asked this. It’s a lot.
I would prefer to get through this as fast as it is humanly possible. I never knew a person could cry this much in a week. There aren't enough things to clean. Not legally married nor named in the notice, so I could have lost my job too.
So I can love intensely. Truth be told, I'd rather not.
I lost my husband died 10mths ago it still feels like yesterday
Thank you so much for your Ted Talk and Podcast. I can’t wait to read your book. I lost my husband, best friend, soulmate, almost 11 months ago. It amazes me that people think I am doing so well because I play the part so well. I get up, get dressed, do my hair, do my makeup, and try to enjoy some activities with family and friends. We both must be up for an academy award because nobody really understands how awful I feel. It is so hard to get any sense of pleasure out of anything. My pleasure sense has been completely turned off. Not sure if it will ever truly turn back on. I just wanted to say thank you for being raw and real.
Yes!! Especially the "feeling awful".
My first husband died of suicide. One baby in my lap and one in my belly. There was a brief period of grief, about a month, and then I just got angry. Stayed angry for 18 years.
My FAVORITE husband died last week. Brain cancer. This past week I have been so sad. But grateful he didn’t linger. Well, we only got the diagnosis a month before he passed. Now I am struggling to get out of the chair.
Thank you for your encouraging words. Two totally different experiences.
Big big big hug. Brain cancer is the absolute worst and I’m glad he didn’t have to suffer. Please know you are not alone and there are many brain cancer widows who feel this with you. ❤️
My FAVORITE husband (love that!) passed away June 15, 2024 in our bedroom. He had melanoma that spread rapidly through his poor body. He spent Memorial Day in the hospital where we got the "there's nothing more we can do" diagnosis, with confirmation that it had spread into his brain.
I'm with you struggling to even get out of the chair.
And, yes, I'm finding some comfort and real good advice from Nora!
I hope you can find some peace soon ...
I lost my husband last month, one month today. He's my best friend, the love of my life ,my travel buddy. My everything. It is really hard to live each day without him. We have 3 children together and they are the reason why I keep on going with my life. I also have a very strong support from my family and friends. I terribly miss my husband. 😢
lost my wife a month back and i am feeling lot of emotions each day that kills me from inside. Your words helps a lot. Thanks for sharing.
Thank you Lovely Nora, you are the voice of grief …. The most difficult language for the human to understand.
I lost my dad in March 3, 2024. It’s been a few months. I can’t go to his grave yet, can’t look at his pictures (even though I seen his passport picture today because my family is planning a trip in November) and have no idea how I can live my entire life without him. The only thing that calms me down is knowing he is with God now (I am Muslim) and like I never know when it will be my time to go either so thinking I may have 60 years before I die makes me so overwhelmed with grief but then thinking that maybe I have 6 minutes and not even know it so I can be resurrected with him sooner than I think, kind of gives me some type of relief. I hugged him for her last time without knowing it was the last time.
You are a godsend. I lost my dad last month and I came across your Ted talk over the weekend and now this showed up in my feed. The work you are doing helps so many of us. ❤
I will be losing my dad soon , 😢, have you got any tips to help me through this?
@zp1209 it’s so painful and numb isn’t it
@@ash_calisthenics nothing prepares you for it whether it’s sudden or expected. Surround yourself with good people. Prepare yourself to feel let down by those you thought have always been in your corner. That’s another thing about grief. Reveals who your true friends are. It’s a personal journey. Cry it out. Get counseling if it gets too much. That’s all I can say. Hugs
I'm drinking a beer alone in my car, attended my older sisters funeral on friday, my moms last year, and my paternal grandmothers two months before that. I'm so tired of suffering loss.
I want to be able to say that I'm ok so badly but I feel like I keep shattering and collecting my pieces before someone swats at my hands and causes me to drop my already broken pieces as they break further. I appreciate hearing it's ok to put me first.
I love your podcast and just stumbled on this video , thank you for making your pain so visible for us still collecting our own pieces.
💔💔
My mother died in 2022. I wrote my book about The Path to Conscious Grief, during my grief, because I did not find help to my pain. I did it in Spanish. It will be ready soon in English. I offer, like you a RUclips channel because we need resources to face our grief. Thank you so much!
I lost my hubby 3yrs to covid. And the process of grieving I kept telling people I'm fine some would tell me get over it time to move on. Like how do u move on with going thru traumatic experience when your love one passes In your arms. And front of our child.
Yes I may seem strong on the outside but inside I'm screaming. Have my moments cry wipe my tears and go about my day. Some mope around give up. Can't. You'll get sick emotionally.
Words so well spoken from someone that truly gets it. The only way is to move forward at our own pace.
I lost my beautiful wife, soulmate, and best friend for 25 years. It was a slow, painful process involving ALS.
Why has the second year been so much more difficult?
Be ready to be reinvented. I do shit now that I never in a million years would think I would be doing. Yoga, meditation and nature. Who me? 😱
Thru meditation I have been able to make "connect" with my wife. It's given me so much understanding to why these things happen and given me great comfort.
Love you all. 💕
My son battled leukemia for three years. That was my disease too. My other son got abandoned on the way. Every minute of each day was done hoping for the day we will finally reunite and go back to life. He is 13 and no longer here. He trusted me and I feel I lied to him. Dealing with everyone and with the loss is incompatible. My other son, his sibling 11 and I have nothing in common anymore. I won’t hurt myself, I don’t want to hurt the feelings of the ones who love me either. I just want to be in my trance alone. I do not know how to move from one minute to another.
My grief for my mother’s passing has only increased with time and I attend two support groups. I’ve lost in my life a best friend at 5 years old, my father and I’ve had 7 miscarriages. Only the loss of my mother was by far the biggest loss yet. My mother was part of my identity a cheerleader and a person that loved me unconditionally. I have 4 other siblings all of whom haven’t supported the feelings I have on the loss. I sat at the casket all alone to say goodbye. Goodbye to the person that made me who I am. Work reluctantly paid me saying I really didn’t qualify and I was the only one to care about my mom leaving this world. How do I know this ???? One sister signed the papers and ran off and no one else was there but me. How do you forgive that ???? Then came the belongings that I had to dumpster dive to save because a brother in law decided my mother’s things belonged in a dumpster. I had to rescue a dying dog left in my mother’s home by a Neice the list is endless on how heartless these family members acted. Oh yes did I mention they had time to travel for pleasure instead. I will never get over this NEVER. In fact time just makes it worse because no one talks to me for saying mom needed help it was an emergency. They couldn’t care that mom with dementia needed help. My mother was a beautiful person who worked hard all her life for them she was giving and an artist who loved to garden. I’m sure she is in heaven painting and gardening with the other angels but I am stuck down here with pure evil and it’s a lonely grief 😢
My mumma died 7days ago, I’ve never dealt with death before & im completely broken and I can’t stop crying.. I stare at the sky for hours looking for her
I’m right there with you mine died two days ago
My problem with grief is that i'm afraid to share my feelings with someone and open up because i have made myself vulnerable with the wrong people before and they just told me to stop feeling sorry for myself and to stop looking for attention. and so im just always afraid to open up and they perceive it as self-pity / self-centerdness.
Just had my grandmas funeral yesterday. 6th family member in two years. Some parts desensitized to, but never gets easier. Perspective shifts on how you make decisions going forward. 7:04 7:32
Lost my wife six months ago. Have watched a bunch of videos on the subject of grief as I work my way through this new reality. All of the videos have felt performative and insincere as a result, no matter how well intended. Yours is the first I watched that felt sincere and authentic and it touched me. Thanks for doing this.
I am struggling with losing my Mark 4 months ago. I am so overwhelmed and broken. 😢thanks for sharing ❤
I’m so sorry. I’m right there with you bc I lost mine almost 4 months ago and I feel the same way.
Thanks, I will be honest when people ask how I am.
Hi how are you? Would you like to share with me ?
Lost my love 3 months ago. It’s a struggle every day. Thank you for this video and for your words
As a new griever, tips like this are helpful. Thank you!
Hi does it ever get better? Just recently lost my husband to cancer a week ago. I have never felt so much pain in my life.
Thank you for the best advice I've found on grief. My son died 5 weeks ago and feeling the pain is absolutely necessary. So awful, so hard. I won't be the same ever I realize that, I wish other people could know that; so I tell them, I am not okay, I'll be better someday but not the same.
“We are so bad at grief.”
UGGGHHH cannot be understated. The world does not stop for you, it does not stop for those you have lost.
A supposed good friend of mine told me she was too busy when i asked her why she hasent called me to see how im doing? I lost my brother in law, father, my dog luna, and uncle all within 6 months this year!! Its been horrible!! 😢
❤
I relate to this video so much. I am a perfectionist. I sought to save my significant other from her illnesses and feel as if I failed her now that she’s passed. Now I feel I must transform this grief into some kind of show of wisdom and self improvement attainment. The truth is, my Susan was such an angel and just her smile inspired everyone and I’m upset it had to end. We had the best 6 years ever and I treated each day like the last. I’m thankful and grateful but I feel selfish wanting more. I feel life is surreal and very dissociated. What a messy process I have to go through. I just want to feel good again beside her loving on her and making her feel good. That was my source of pleasure in life.
I literally thought I was bad at grief, so I love you
already:) Thank you for sharing your kitsugi
Mom passed suddenly two months ago. Still shocked.
My mom passed two weeks ago and she was my only friend and the only one that loved me. I’m so not fine and I hate life now. Im so scared of how low I’m feeling. 😞
Thank you. My D adadied on December 23rd of this year. Sudden death. no one saw this coming. this is the friest for me in someone in my family t someone that is close to me. hearing you explain help me know I not crazy. its will take time, today is a heavy day . thank you for this
I watched your TED talk. Your words about moving forward WITH instead of moving ON was perfect for me.
Thank you. My mom passed a week ago. I've never cried for a really long time.
My mom passed a week ago. Havent even cried but i was feeling depressed.
Your TedTalk has been the single most helpful resource to help me through my grief. Thank you. This one too.
My partner died 3 months ago. I cried all day today, which happens to be Thanksgiving. Heart broken. I cannot wait for January 2.
Wife died of cancer a year ago. Yes, agree grief is a chronic condition. I volunteer as a facilitator in GriefShare program. Agree too, that everyone grieves differently.
It's been 10 months, still hurting. His best friend passed 3 days ago, brain tumor, and I was shocked how I was overwhelmed this additional loss.
New widow with the weight of the world on my shoulders. This explains exactly what I needed to hear ❤
I watched your Ted and thank you so much for being you. Your humor and way of communicating truly reminds me of me. I was isolated, starting a new job in another state immediately after my partners passing and social media was my outlet and way of keeping contact w/ friends and family. Through my grief I found sharing helped me heal and your speech was so relatable. I'm just trying to navigate all the emotions and also be a light for those around me. Not everyone gets my sense of humor, but I've had others tell me that my openness has helped. You are an inspiration. :)
3:08 “I wanted so badly to be the best at grief” - bam. Nail on the head for me right there. Lost my mom at the end of July and I have felt so much pressure to “do this right”
I lost my husband of 18 years 9 months ago. It’s just now starting to ease a little. This is not easy by any means. Thank you for sharing ❤
I lost my dad two weeks ago, it was so sudden and I flew back home as soon as I heard. Now I am back, having to "move forward" in a middle of an MBA. I am still so sad, and cant find myself to fully enjoy this year I worked so hard to get to. Been having a hard time to sleep, but thank you for what you do.
I read the the hot young widows club book, several months ago and to be honest it has helped me the most with my grief. It's been 14 months since my husband of 45 years past and I still miss him so much. Thank you Nora for all your help
Thank you for making this video. I needed to hear these words, this tone of voice, this believable compassionate understanding. And I needed it now. 🙃
So well said and very helpful. 3 weeks since her passing and it is getting harder, not easier. Maybe the shock is wearing off and reality is hitting? I want what I can never have and that is, I want my wife back with me.
Imagine how incredibly lonely and isolating it is to grieve for an disenfranchised loss! It utterly devastating! There is no one to share with. I am so sad that I allow myself to cry in my car or at home until I cannot cry anymore. It is heartwrenching to miss someone that is still alive and not being able to contact them because of ubrequited love. Society says move on. They criticized me to no end and I have chosen to grieve alone. Sometimes I cry myself to sleep. It is not easy. I create art and journal, but having support from a close person is what I yearn for. I don't like to hide to feel my feelings...
Thank you. It's been 2 months apart for my Orest and I. I can't tell you how many people have told me you need to join my church, you need to get rid of his things or my favorite.... "oh, I haven't reached out to you, because, you need space and time to yourself." Ummm, after living with the love of my life for 31 years, being left all alone is not what I need.
its been less tahn a month since my bf passed and everyday i hate that im here and hes not. a day at a time . but time has slowed down and time i wish i had when he was here i now have and im not sure what to do with myself. thanks for your words bc not everyone gets it .
Thank you so much for your wisdom and sharing it to others in their difficult times
I lost my husband of 48 years just 2 months ago. Everyone has always told me that I am the strongest, toughest woman they know and I am trying not to let them down. If anyone actually knew what I really feeling deep inside they would probably have me committed or at least on strong meds.
Just lost mine a few hours ago.
Oh Steve, I am so sorry. I wish I could give you a hug but not in a weird way.
Thanx this really helped.
I dont know what to Do .. nearly Year but the feeling is still the same 😭
I lost my aunt/best friend one week ago today.She lost her daughter six months ago.She died of a broken 💔 and I'm just devastated by it all....Ive cried every day now for six months and can't see an end to it.Thankfully I work alone so I can cry as much as I need to...This crap sucks!
I can feel you I lost my partner for 12 years last April 14, it’s so painful I can’t explain the pain I even cried at work 😢 & every night . He was diagnosed lung cancer last Feb 2024 & died April , it’s so fast in just 2 months he is gone it’s just hard to accept 😢, but thank GOD I have my 2 kids with me & my Fellow Christian at our church & God I just prayed a lot & cried to God to help me on this painful event in my life 😢 u tc @marybell just cried if u want too process of grief & it helps & pray & be with people who love & care for you❤
How can I be honest with others if I‘m not honest with myself? I actually think I‘m doing „fine“. But I also had almost not a single day for myself/to think/to feel since my mom passed two months ago. I am mostly functioning, not feeling.
I just lost my lover 3 weeks ago.. I walked in on him lifeless on the floor due to addiction … I miss him so deeply …we were going to get married .. he had just given me a ring 3 months before … he was such a beautiful creative person.. this was my first love .. he lived a lot of different lives that I haven’t … I wish I can be with him again and just look into his eyes and feel his bones close to mine… I feel so alone without him and back to being missunderstood … I have noticed everyone wants me to get better already .. but they just don’t get it … they want me to be back to work and just be back to the “ real world “
Just found your podcast after your appearance on GGE. The year 2021 was my worst year ever. My brother, 33 yrs old healthy, died of COVID and then my father died from cancer the day after Christmas that year. To top things off my best friend of 25 years died in January this year (2022). I'm still trying to cope with grief and how to work through it :(. The "wanting to be so good at grief" is where I'm at. I am really good at faking it to make it but I'm not so mentally exhausted.
I'm sorry this happened to you. You're not alone, I feel you. I wish you all the best!
My mom passed away 11 years ago and 4 yrs later i had a major breakup with my boyfriend. Never grieved, blocked my emotions, blocked people , blocked everything. Until this April 2024 everything came up and 12 yrs later I an niw greiving both situations. It is intense, I don’t know what to do with these emotions but Im taking one day at a time. I cry mostly everyday, im broken internally, feels like someone has to tell me how to do this life. But i know im gonna come out stronger. So anyone newly grieving please take your time.
I’m so sorry for your loss. Take care of urself, hugs. 🙏🏻❤️
I will soon be losing my dad to cancer, i also lost a close friend to suicide and got dumped by my gf all in the space of 3 weeks, i somehow need to get through this grief whilst helping my mum get through losing her husband of 42 years 😢😢😢
I just turned 22 and i lost the love of my life, he was just 23, in a tragic accident less than a month ago. Im utterly lost and just trying to live one day at a time. Its so miserable and so much dreams left unlived. Idk what to do
Advice for baby widows
I lost my partner, father of our now 7 month old, on Easter of this year. Been almost 2 months and I’m still just as heartbroken as the morning I heard that he passed away 💔 support has definitely went down and I’m left here to grieve and raise two children alone. I miss him so much. I pray God gets me through this… 🙏🏽
You are in my prayers 🙏 The grief is heavy, but I will be praying for you and your family that God will send you an Angel of Light to comfort you 🌹❤️🌹
I lost my mom two days ago and I can’t stop crying 😢
CRYING 😭 IS 😭 NORMAL
Thank you for sharing your insight very much appreciated