"Advice" For the Freshly Grieving
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- Опубликовано: 1 июн 2024
- Since 2015, I've been immersed in other people's grief. That sounds dark, but it's my job: I have a weekly podcast called Terrible, Thanks For Asking where I talk to people who have been through hard things.
I'd lost my husband, my father and my second pregnancy in late 2014, and I needed to get out of my own experience and my own pain and prove to myself that what I was feeling and experiencing was normal.
Over 200 episodes later, I know that Grief is as personal as it is universal, and if you're raised in a grief-averse society (hello, America) you'll think that how you feel and how you deal is wrong. Your experience is yours, and there's no list of things you "should" feel, or when you "should" feel them.
Watch my TED talk - We Don't Move On From Grief, We Move Forward With It - here: www.ted.com/talks/nora_mciner...
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You really get it….because you lived it. It’s only been 3 months for me since my husband passed. The single most traumatic experience of my life. The grief is profoundly painful and confusing. Who am I? How do live I without my husband of 32 years? The loneliness is unbearable but the world doesn’t stop because of it. One day at a time.
I so get this 💔
hope you're doing a tiny bit better 4 months further along, sorry for your loss.
How are you getting on? I need to help my mum through this
I’m at this stage, 3 months of legal complexities, the Funeral. Then reality really kicks in, the loneliness and pain is unbearable.
This is where im at now😢
Thank you. My husband passed away 4 Months ago. Have 2 young children. It is so hard😢.
💔😘
I miss my mom today, she passed away less than a year ago. Todays really challenging for me. I’m 40 years old and having a real sad day today.
I'm so sorry. I am hoping you can find some moments of peace during all the turmoil and sadness.
So sorry to hear. :(
You are not alone!
Thank you for your message. Bereavement is not nearly long enough for a spouse. My wife passed away from cancer in February 2024. I was her Caregiver during the last 2 years and still trying to work for our health insurance.
After she passed away, I was expected to come back onsite to work full time after just one week of bereavement. Grief in our fast paced society is definitely not addressed by employers. Grieving for my wife is not one week of bereavement!
I am seeking group therapy, and talking with others about how they are dealing with their grieving process.
I really didn't realize how Grieving is not acknowledged in our society. Grieving is one of the most underrated emotional challenges I am going through. Thank you for your support and advice!
You are so on point! While married ppl want to advise widows they really need to be quiet and stop telling me I need to move on when they still have a living spouse....they will never understand until it happens to them!!!!
Or when your single best friend doesn’t get it and says “someone will come to you again and show you a lot of love”. NOT what you want to ever hear. No. Esp after losing the love of your life.
My husband passed 5 months ago, I am struggling to live my day to day life without him. Thank you for the work you are doing to help us live with grief.
My father passed away 21st November 2023 and I’m in such pain. The pain is in my chest and it’s constant. He passed away suddenly and I cannot imagine my life without him. He was everything to me and I’m so lost now.
I cry constantly and I’m in a constant state of sadness and a heavy feeling. I have 2 young girls and I’m struggling with loosing my dad and trying to be a good parent.
I was also made redundant a week after my father died. Life has completely destroyed me.
My husband died on Nov. 21st, 2023 as well. I have two daughters in their late 20's and 30. One of my daughters has two babies. She was actually 7 months pregnant when he died. I am so sorry for you. Your post resonated with me. We as a family are grieving in so many ways. It is an emotional roller coaster.
This was spot on with everything that you talked about. My husband died a month ago. It is not my first experience with grief but each time is different. It is terrible and I hate every minute of it. I am kinda a zombie right now, just waiting for the pain to not be so severe.
How are you now, I hope with time things are a little bit lighter although the grief never goes away. Sending love and prayers your way
I'm with you. ....I'm feeling exactly what your saying!
My first husband died of suicide. One baby in my lap and one in my belly. There was a brief period of grief, about a month, and then I just got angry. Stayed angry for 18 years.
My FAVORITE husband died last week. Brain cancer. This past week I have been so sad. But grateful he didn’t linger. Well, we only got the diagnosis a month before he passed. Now I am struggling to get out of the chair.
Thank you for your encouraging words. Two totally different experiences.
Wonderful advice. It’s been two years since my son passed away and I’m just now completely understanding the depth of my pain and my relationship with grief
I lost my son 21 months ago. Oh my the hole it leaves in yr heart.
The pain is so unbearable at times. My heart goes out to you all.💔💜💜
I lost my partner, father of our now 7 month old, on Easter of this year. Been almost 2 months and I’m still just as heartbroken as the morning I heard that he passed away 💔 support has definitely went down and I’m left here to grieve and raise two children alone. I miss him so much. I pray God gets me through this… 🙏🏽
My dad died when I was 13 a weekend before I began high school.. Never saw my mother cry. Not one teacher asked me if I was okay.
This has been the most lonely and lowest I have ever been since my husband passed away 3 months ago after 26 years together. I miss him so much.
I just lost my husband last week. I still can’t breathe…. I am standing with you
Indeed .. wish i could turn back the hands of time .. i wish i could cry & shout. Everybody Will Go but Not soon 😭.
@@paolaespinoza1559lost my wife a month ago. It doesn't get better for me with the passing of each day. Loneliness is a killer.
i lost the woman of my dreams almost 2 months ago.. some days hurt more than others and sometimes it feels like it will hurt forever. It helps me to believe that i will be reunited with her again and when that day comes i will get to share all my stories and experiences with her. i want to believe that she is waiting for me on the other side and i love her enough to live patiently and complete my life until the day comes. im trying my best everyday. i also try to reverse the roles and if i were to pass, i would truly want her to find strength through all the pain. I want to tell her that we will all go one day but until then; Find happiness. Live, laugh and love because it feels good and you deserve to feel joy. You are beautiful, so make your life beautiful to match it ❤ i love you Zanay.
How are you getting on? I will soon be losing my dad and I need to help my mum through this
I lost my 16 year old son and my fiance 9/5/23. I've had someone tell me to pack up my fiance's stuff and put it in the garage and move on, I'm not ready to move on it's to early
Sorry for your loss
Don’t let people tell you what to do. That’s very insensitive of that person. Nobody has the right to tell u what to do. Grieve however and as long as you want. I’m so sorry for your loss. Hugs. 🙏🏻❤️
I lost my younger brother whose body had to wait almost a year to be shipped for burial due to the covid. Next my dad and a cousin passed away. Last week (9/23) my cousin’s fiancé who are both my friends and grew up with me died too together with the twins she was expecting. I’ve been trying to block all the memories and emotions for awhile. But this last loss brought everything back. I’m overwhelmed, emotionally broken, feel cursed and abandoned by God. It hurts so bad. 😢
I’m so very sorry you are going through this. My heart is with you.
When the memories come, don't ignore them
It's part of your grief,so allow yourself to grieve and with time it will reduce until you accept it happened and that you will never see them again
I also lost my wife from 39 years of marriage to Glioblastoma in Feb 2023. I think I handled the first 3 months well but these last two months has been a rollercoaster of ups and downs and felling horrible. It is just difficult to describe the feelings and when asked how I am doing I just say I am doing good and hide how I am really feeling because no one would understand my felling's, not even myself. If it would not have been for all the resources that are in RUclips and the internet I would not have known what was happening to me. There is simply no right way to handle grief and it seems that we will just have to handle this for the rest of our life's.
My mom died of Cancer a month ago. The support lasted about 3 weeks and has now evaporated.
Gosh I relate. Lost my mom a month ago. People are horrible, somehow they managed to make me feel even worse..! I talk to her to find strength but life is unbearable without her😢..Sending you hugs and comfort. You're not alone honey 🩵
So true. They expect you are now ok. Will we ever be ok after such a loss?
They expect you feel the same way they do
Same here mate 😢
I lost my mom to cancer 6 years ago on April 6th. I survived cancer 17 years ago on March 28…and recently I lost my dad on March 31 to cancer.
I’ve been telling everyone that I’m ok, but yesterday I crashed! I’m not ok; but I don’t know what I need!
Thank you Lovely Nora, you are the voice of grief …. The most difficult language for the human to understand.
This video is everything. Your words resonate so close to home for me. I lost my partner almost a month ago, right before the holidays. Life feels so grey and empty without him around. People keep asking me how I’m doing, if I’m okay, and I just start to laugh because it seems just so absurd to ask such a question.
I appreciate you Nora, for finding the words to articulate my feelings. Early grief to me feels like an open wound. I feel like a newborn baby. Raw and naked and vulnerable. Thank you for allowing me to embrace this grief even when I desperately try to suppress it and shut the feelings out.
You are so right. I just lost my partner 2 weeks ago; that question how you doing it stings every time I get asked this. It’s a lot.
Thank you so much for your Ted Talk and Podcast. I can’t wait to read your book. I lost my husband, best friend, soulmate, almost 11 months ago. It amazes me that people think I am doing so well because I play the part so well. I get up, get dressed, do my hair, do my makeup, and try to enjoy some activities with family and friends. We both must be up for an academy award because nobody really understands how awful I feel. It is so hard to get any sense of pleasure out of anything. My pleasure sense has been completely turned off. Not sure if it will ever truly turn back on. I just wanted to say thank you for being raw and real.
My husband and I were married 50 years, I buried him last week and am paralyzed with pain. He had a condition called Primary Progressive Aphasia, which robbed him of his ability to speak and think clearly. I was able to keep him home and care for him until his last day. I can't imagine my life without him.
I’m so sorry for your loss.
💔💔
I would prefer to get through this as fast as it is humanly possible. I never knew a person could cry this much in a week. There aren't enough things to clean. Not legally married nor named in the notice, so I could have lost my job too.
So I can love intensely. Truth be told, I'd rather not.
I lost my hubby 3yrs to covid. And the process of grieving I kept telling people I'm fine some would tell me get over it time to move on. Like how do u move on with going thru traumatic experience when your love one passes In your arms. And front of our child.
Yes I may seem strong on the outside but inside I'm screaming. Have my moments cry wipe my tears and go about my day. Some mope around give up. Can't. You'll get sick emotionally.
I lost both parents, in a month, over Christmas. I had to organise both funeral, clear the house, probate, etc. Just hell, and after a week, return to work, cos, God forbid, I had to take time off....
Dearest Nora, 3.5 years on. I must thank you, THANK YOU!, for your guidance, your empathy, your ability to make me laugh at the unimaginable.
Robert
Thanks, I will be honest when people ask how I am.
Hi how are you? Would you like to share with me ?
I lost my aunt/best friend one week ago today.She lost her daughter six months ago.She died of a broken 💔 and I'm just devastated by it all....Ive cried every day now for six months and can't see an end to it.Thankfully I work alone so I can cry as much as I need to...This crap sucks!
I can feel you I lost my partner for 12 years last April 14, it’s so painful I can’t explain the pain I even cried at work 😢 & every night . He was diagnosed lung cancer last Feb 2024 & died April , it’s so fast in just 2 months he is gone it’s just hard to accept 😢, but thank GOD I have my 2 kids with me & my Fellow Christian at our church & God I just prayed a lot & cried to God to help me on this painful event in my life 😢 u tc @marybell just cried if u want too process of grief & it helps & pray & be with people who love & care for you❤
I was a wreck when my dog passed away but 10 months later I lost my mom. I am missing her so much and I wish I believed in heaven because the thought of never seeing her again is agonizing.
That's so hard, I'm sorry.
I lost my mom almost a month ago. I am a complete mess. My body is in shock, i feel emotionally and physically unwell. I don’t know how I’m going to get through this.
@@livinlife8280 I am so sorry for you to be going through this. It must feel like the worst thing ever. I will keep you in my thoughts.
that is so terribly sad. I hope you are doing ok and working through such a tough and difficult time. I will keep you in my thoughts.
It’s not too late to believe. 🙏🏼 I’m sorry for the pain and loss you are going through.
I lost my wife, the love of my life, to gallbladder cancer on December 21, 2023. We were together for 6 years, married for 4, but we stuffed as much love and life into those years as anyone could. We were best friends and really, truly "got" each other. Initially, I did exactly what you said NOT to do; I lied and told people who asked me how I was doing and said that I was fine. Not anymore, I let it out and tell them how I'm doing. It is more of a relief than to lie and try to hide my grief. The grief from losing a spouse whom you love so deeply is the most difficult thing anyone can face. Being honest with myself and my loved ones has been the best thing for me, it gives me some release. Kind of like when I'm all alone and a wave of grief hits me. I cry, like BIG cry. It is a horrible feeling while it's happening, but I feel so much better when I've given myself the 5-10 to actively grieve. Day by day, I will continue on and move forward. Slowly, the fog begins to clear, things begin to make a little more sense. I will carry my wife with me forever while I move forward in my life. She will always be with me.
I lost my mom on the exact same date on December 21, 2023 at 6:5pm after a long battle with Colorectal cancer. She was 45, would be turning 46 this month. My mom had passed away almost 2 months after the unexpected passing of my brother.
I feel like I have a hole in my heart, everything hurts. I feel so alone at times because although I do have a very supportive network of people who are there for me and who love me, I feel like my immediate circle of friends and relatives don’t understand fully what it is I’m going through, or will offer unsolicited advice on how I should be grieving, which I don’t blame them for as things like grief and death are hard to understand unless you’ve actually gone through it. However, I will agree that when I am fully honest when someone asks me how I’m doing, it truly is a release, and in a sense also makes me feel like I am keeping them both alive by talking about them. Our loved ones will always exist, they’ve just taken on another form.
I can only imagine the grief and heaviness you must be feeling.. Sending you light and strength!🤍
@@ellekara So sorry for your loses. 🤍
Thank you! I lost my mother a month ago and this is the worst pain I’ve ever felt! It’s just one day at a time for me. I’m not okay don’t know if I’ll ever be just gotta get up and keep going!
Just had my grandmas funeral yesterday. 6th family member in two years. Some parts desensitized to, but never gets easier. Perspective shifts on how you make decisions going forward. 7:04 7:32
I am struggling with losing my Mark 4 months ago. I am so overwhelmed and broken. 😢thanks for sharing ❤
lost my wife a month back and i am feeling lot of emotions each day that kills me from inside. Your words helps a lot. Thanks for sharing.
As a new griever, tips like this are helpful. Thank you!
Wife died of cancer a year ago. Yes, agree grief is a chronic condition. I volunteer as a facilitator in GriefShare program. Agree too, that everyone grieves differently.
My problem with grief is that i'm afraid to share my feelings with someone and open up because i have made myself vulnerable with the wrong people before and they just told me to stop feeling sorry for myself and to stop looking for attention. and so im just always afraid to open up and they perceive it as self-pity / self-centerdness.
Your book was a source of great comfort and a reality check, even a few years later, after I lost my young wife in the Winter/Spring on 2014. It doesn't disappear. It just gets easier to carry. Thank you for everything.
Words so well spoken from someone that truly gets it. The only way is to move forward at our own pace.
I lost my beautiful wife, soulmate, and best friend for 25 years. It was a slow, painful process involving ALS.
Why has the second year been so much more difficult?
Be ready to be reinvented. I do shit now that I never in a million years would think I would be doing. Yoga, meditation and nature. Who me? 😱
Thru meditation I have been able to make "connect" with my wife. It's given me so much understanding to why these things happen and given me great comfort.
Love you all. 💕
I lost my husband less than 2 months ago and this really helped me. Because yes I am not fine but this helped me feel okay with the way I feel right now.
My mom passed away 11 years ago and 4 yrs later i had a major breakup with my boyfriend. Never grieved, blocked my emotions, blocked people , blocked everything. Until this April 2024 everything came up and 12 yrs later I an niw greiving both situations. It is intense, I don’t know what to do with these emotions but Im taking one day at a time. I cry mostly everyday, im broken internally, feels like someone has to tell me how to do this life. But i know im gonna come out stronger. So anyone newly grieving please take your time.
I’m so sorry for your loss. Take care of urself, hugs. 🙏🏻❤️
I unexpectedly lost my wife of 20 years four weeks ago last night. She was 52. Not liking this grief crap, not at all. Never had experience with real grief before. I'm reading, studying and watching video's to try and understand the process. Joined a weekly grief group. I'm ping ponging around the various stages that they talk about. I don't really have the luxury of breaking down, we have a special needs child and I have to keep a calm and consistent environment for him. While I'm busy I'm functional but when he's in school or asleep it does sneak up on me a bit. Kim was always told that she couldn't have kids so our son was the center of her universe, her miracle. If I don't give him as happy and normal a life as possible I wouldn't be surprised if she came down just to kick me where it counts.
It does give me focus but also scares the crap out of me. I've never been a fearful person, always was an adrenaline junkie. But now I'm worried about getting hurt or sick because there is no backup to help care for our son or our pets. My closest family is a 16 hour drive away. I fell off of a 10' ladder onto our tile floor while changing light bulbs last year. Ended up on crutches for 6 weeks. I can't afford to have something like that happen now. Not a fan of this fear either.
I stopped smoking on Christmas Eve, Kim died on January 5th. Talk about timing. I don't miss the smoke or nicotine, that kind of stuff doesn't get to me. I do very much miss taking the dog out with Kim and having a smoke and conversation. Going out to a restaurant and grabbing a smoke and more conversation on the way to the car. Grabbing a smoke and a chat before we went into a store. Haven't broken down and smoked, not going to since I'm the only caretaker for my son now. But any time one of those smoke/conversation moments pop up it sure puts a lump in my throat.
I miss our conversations, nobody on this planet knew me the way that she did. She'd always giggle at my stupid Dad jokes, even if she'd heard them a dozen times before. She was interested in the same books, the same entertainment, mostly the same music (she gets a strike for the disco and the rap), the same world events. She'd always call me on my BS. She knew when I needed a hug and when I needed to be kicked in the rear. It's still hard to believe that this huge part of my life is over. All the plans and dreams that we had. All the things we were going to do together as old farts. I always thought that I was pretty independent, I didn't really need people, never had a problem spending time alone. Boy did that come back and bite me.
Can't believe that I'm mourning conversations that we'll never have. We both got hooked on a book series called the Dresden Files when we first got together. The author pumps our a new book every year or so, we'd both read them and have some great conversations about them. He put out a new book over a year ago that had some major events take place that would completely change the series. I've impatiently waited for over a year to talk to her about it, I didn't want to spoil any of the surprises. Now we won't be having that conversation at all. I get mourning memories of things that we did together, never thought it would include things that we hadn't gotten around to doing yet.
I’m so very sorry for your tremendous loss. I know there’s nothing anyone can say to make you feel better. I hope you will find a support group, an online group perhaps where you can continue to write and share your feelings. This was very lovely and heartfelt..and of course sad. Best of luck, you are not alone.
I'm drinking a beer alone in my car, attended my older sisters funeral on friday, my moms last year, and my paternal grandmothers two months before that. I'm so tired of suffering loss.
I want to be able to say that I'm ok so badly but I feel like I keep shattering and collecting my pieces before someone swats at my hands and causes me to drop my already broken pieces as they break further. I appreciate hearing it's ok to put me first.
I love your podcast and just stumbled on this video , thank you for making your pain so visible for us still collecting our own pieces.
💔💔
I lost my husband of 18 years 9 months ago. It’s just now starting to ease a little. This is not easy by any means. Thank you for sharing ❤
You are a godsend. I lost my dad last month and I came across your Ted talk over the weekend and now this showed up in my feed. The work you are doing helps so many of us. ❤
Sorry for your loss. I lost my papa too 22 days ago. While I don't know your particular grief, I hope life gets better for you soon.
I will be losing my dad soon , 😢, have you got any tips to help me through this?
@@Princess_Zo it’s so painful and numb isn’t it
@@ash_calisthenics nothing prepares you for it whether it’s sudden or expected. Surround yourself with good people. Prepare yourself to feel let down by those you thought have always been in your corner. That’s another thing about grief. Reveals who your true friends are. It’s a personal journey. Cry it out. Get counseling if it gets too much. That’s all I can say. Hugs
Thank you. It's been 2 months apart for my Orest and I. I can't tell you how many people have told me you need to join my church, you need to get rid of his things or my favorite.... "oh, I haven't reached out to you, because, you need space and time to yourself." Ummm, after living with the love of my life for 31 years, being left all alone is not what I need.
I lost my dad two weeks ago, it was so sudden and I flew back home as soon as I heard. Now I am back, having to "move forward" in a middle of an MBA. I am still so sad, and cant find myself to fully enjoy this year I worked so hard to get to. Been having a hard time to sleep, but thank you for what you do.
New widow with the weight of the world on my shoulders. This explains exactly what I needed to hear ❤
I dont know what to Do .. nearly Year but the feeling is still the same 😭
Thank you for you advice, lost my partner recently April 14, 2024😢 diagnosed lung cancer Feb 2024 & after 2 months he died 😢, so painful I can’t explain it, so hard really hard we been together 12 years, 😢😢😢😢 it’s just so shocking that in 2 months he will gone , can’t see him again 😢 thanks for you advice & I know God will guide me & you are right I need to tc of myself too & grief slowly in my time
A supposed good friend of mine told me she was too busy when i asked her why she hasent called me to see how im doing? I lost my brother in law, father, my dog luna, and uncle all within 6 months this year!! Its been horrible!! 😢
❤
True, we are so bad at grief in the U.S.!
Lost my love 3 months ago. It’s a struggle every day. Thank you for this video and for your words
I will soon be losing my dad to cancer, i also lost a close friend to suicide and got dumped by my gf all in the space of 3 weeks, i somehow need to get through this grief whilst helping my mum get through losing her husband of 42 years 😢😢😢
Just lost mine a few hours ago.
Oh Steve, I am so sorry. I wish I could give you a hug but not in a weird way.
My mother died in 2022. I wrote my book about The Path to Conscious Grief, during my grief, because I did not find help to my pain. I did it in Spanish. It will be ready soon in English. I offer, like you a RUclips channel because we need resources to face our grief. Thank you so much!
Nora! You nailed it! I just saw your TED talk!!! I love it. Thank you.❤
You understand, thank you for your advice ❤
Your TedTalk has been the single most helpful resource to help me through my grief. Thank you. This one too.
Excellent!
It's been 10 months, still hurting. His best friend passed 3 days ago, brain tumor, and I was shocked how I was overwhelmed this additional loss.
Thank you!
This helped, thank you. The TED talk was also very good.
I watched your Ted and thank you so much for being you. Your humor and way of communicating truly reminds me of me. I was isolated, starting a new job in another state immediately after my partners passing and social media was my outlet and way of keeping contact w/ friends and family. Through my grief I found sharing helped me heal and your speech was so relatable. I'm just trying to navigate all the emotions and also be a light for those around me. Not everyone gets my sense of humor, but I've had others tell me that my openness has helped. You are an inspiration. :)
Miss You Nana 🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾 November will make a year . I won’t let you down 🙏🏾 🕊️
Thank you for making this video. I needed to hear these words, this tone of voice, this believable compassionate understanding. And I needed it now. 🙃
Thank you
Thank you. My mom passed a week ago. I've never cried for a really long time.
My mom passed a week ago. Havent even cried but i was feeling depressed.
Just found your podcast after your appearance on GGE. The year 2021 was my worst year ever. My brother, 33 yrs old healthy, died of COVID and then my father died from cancer the day after Christmas that year. To top things off my best friend of 25 years died in January this year (2022). I'm still trying to cope with grief and how to work through it :(. The "wanting to be so good at grief" is where I'm at. I am really good at faking it to make it but I'm not so mentally exhausted.
I'm sorry this happened to you. You're not alone, I feel you. I wish you all the best!
I lost my husband died 10mths ago it still feels like yesterday
I watched your TED talk. Your words about moving forward WITH instead of moving ON was perfect for me.
Thank you. My D adadied on December 23rd of this year. Sudden death. no one saw this coming. this is the friest for me in someone in my family t someone that is close to me. hearing you explain help me know I not crazy. its will take time, today is a heavy day . thank you for this
I'm newly grieving my future husband of 12 years. Thank you for what you do💔
My grief for my mother’s passing has only increased with time and I attend two support groups. I’ve lost in my life a best friend at 5 years old, my father and I’ve had 7 miscarriages. Only the loss of my mother was by far the biggest loss yet. My mother was part of my identity a cheerleader and a person that loved me unconditionally. I have 4 other siblings all of whom haven’t supported the feelings I have on the loss. I sat at the casket all alone to say goodbye. Goodbye to the person that made me who I am. Work reluctantly paid me saying I really didn’t qualify and I was the only one to care about my mom leaving this world. How do I know this ???? One sister signed the papers and ran off and no one else was there but me. How do you forgive that ???? Then came the belongings that I had to dumpster dive to save because a brother in law decided my mother’s things belonged in a dumpster. I had to rescue a dying dog left in my mother’s home by a Neice the list is endless on how heartless these family members acted. Oh yes did I mention they had time to travel for pleasure instead. I will never get over this NEVER. In fact time just makes it worse because no one talks to me for saying mom needed help it was an emergency. They couldn’t care that mom with dementia needed help. My mother was a beautiful person who worked hard all her life for them she was giving and an artist who loved to garden. I’m sure she is in heaven painting and gardening with the other angels but I am stuck down here with pure evil and it’s a lonely grief 😢
The biggest trigger for me right now are the three words HOW ARE YOU!
its been less tahn a month since my bf passed and everyday i hate that im here and hes not. a day at a time . but time has slowed down and time i wish i had when he was here i now have and im not sure what to do with myself. thanks for your words bc not everyone gets it .
I lost my son in November last year. Am not ok. Am struggling
I’m so , so sorry for your loss . My sister was killed last August and I’m feeling worse now then when it happened . I can’t even imagine what you are going through . Sending love ❤️
Since I lost my wife in august 2022, my most common lie has been “I’m fine”
I lost my dad on 11/25/2023 in a house fire after he made sure my mom brother and i got out. He had just turned 57 on november 7th . he was going through some testing to figure out what this lump under his armpit was. It hits different when its a parent even though this wasnt the first time i lost someone i was close to ; maternal grandmother died of cancer when i was 8. Thers so much i have to tweak since he isnt pyshically here
Thank you for your video. I was saying the same thing and its been the loneliest time of my life. My husband died 8 months ago.
My husband died in October...I am so miserable and people tell me I need "to move on to a new chapter." I can't. I can barely function. He was my soul mate.
I hope that things get lighter for you.
FMLA can cover your physical symptoms no pay, but job protection, have your doc complete paperwork, i miss my husband, its been 32 days. But you’re right i took two weeks off but that it and it hurts 😢
Nik nak good luck 🎉
Its almost 3am and this video caught my eye and apparently needed more than I thought.
Its been about 22 hours since I found my dad and Im in shock and panic and pain I thought I would handle better knowing it would happen (heart, kidneys, lungs failing him and blood clots) but not like this... Not so traumàtic like that was/is....
I want to punish myself for failing to be there. All the what ifs like if i didn't sleep that night I could have been there at least...
Any suggestions on how to not feel like I want to punish myself for something inevitable?
Hi how are you holding up, it's been 7 months since you wrote this and my heart goes out to you. My papa had a heart attack which started off as vomitting. I heard him groaning at night but thought he was just throwing up and would feel better in the morning. I didn't check up on him either, as he would get sick and then get better. But this time it was a major heart attack and I know the feeling of "what if" even tho our cases are completely different. But as many people told me, and I will now tell you - you didn't know what was going on. It was not your fault. I guess you know this by now but I couldn't see this comment and skip past it.
Its not your fault !!!!!
i feel you, when my grandma passed away we are talking on video call but she is having a heart attack that time complaining chest pain that time she was in other country and im in LA i couldnt do anything i wana fly there as fast as i can just to get help and take her to the hospital, but i dont have passport yet thats why i went to get an emergency passport... i hated myself coz i watched her die nobody helped her there is nobody i was panicking and its too late for me when i get there she is already in the funeral i didnt get a chance to hold and touch or kiss or hug her. she mean so much to me coz she raised us when mom left us and she loves us unconditionally thats why i loved her more than my mom she is very close to me and she is my everything when she passes my world falls down i messed up my life its almost a month now im still processing everything in my heart that i think wont be able to recover from that trauma. i missed her and dont know where to find her...i know she wont be happy punishing myself and i think for being messing my life is enough punishment now im jobless and depressed for everything. i know God has plan and ill see her again when time comes all of us will go there and they will be the first person we'll meeet when its our time. sorry i hope this helps im still grieving and feel very lonely...only thing i can tell you is that they dont want us to messed up our life or punished ourself even for me its hard but im trying...take care
@@anneg.4149 I understand, I made mistakes in my mother's treatment after an accident, took the wrong advice and now I'm a wreck... no one can understand how painful it is..
I just lost one of my best friends to suicide. He reached out to me before he did it. I didn't get any signs of the type of place he was. I feel guilty. I feel like I should I called him. I felt it. But I didn't. I was busy going to work...
That is so hard. I was in a similar situation once. I'm sorry.
My heart goes out to you. I‘ve lost someone dear to my heart to suicide recently. Please, be kind to yourself- as hard as it may seem now.
My employer allows 3 paid days of bereavement leave with the option to use holiday days/ vacation leave if you need longer 🇬🇧
One of my closest friends that I considered to be family. He is one of my best friends and he had died 8 hours ago in hospice . And my friend and co-worker tells me I'm grieving for myself when my friend just died 8 hours ago fresh and I don't understand why she couldn't be nice to me about it
Nora here. I am so sorry that you lost your friend, and sorrier still that your other friend couldn't just shut up and let you do it. I probably need to make a video about that, because the things that people say to grievers are SO OUT OF HAND. Sending you love.
This was the lady at the crematorium to me when I arrived last year on Valentine’s Day alone to pick up my husband’s ashes: “Have a good day!!”
This is whilst handing them to me in a black cardboard style carrier bag like a fancy bag from a designer store!
It was so incredibly horrifying & traumatic that I actually laugh about it! I know my husband would have found that funny! I was only 37 & he was 43. Fun times! Also my friend group has shrunk by about 75%.. basically my grief story is if you haven’t at least phoned me or made an effort to physically see me since this has happened.. we are no longer friends! I have lost friends that I’d had for 25 years because they just stopped inviting me out with them & their friends because I guess I was a buzz kill! Also the phrase “I can’t imagine” is the single most infuriating phrase I have ever heard in my life. I had to move country after it happened, start my life over again from scratch & oh yeah became a tattoo artist. Sooooo yeah.. grief people! It’s a trip!
Lost my dad last Wednesday 😔
After gran past in the UK it was 2 late to let to school know and I had to do the maths exam and I failed and I just want crawl in my room and I tried to justified itto outher people my gran was like a second 1 and I feel so numb and I've always pushed down 😂and Im from UK by Sarah Reid.
I also tried to be the most perfect grieving widow. By not showing any signs of sadness. It doesn’t work at all!
How do we join
I'm sorry having a bad Time I don't know how I should be feeling now one and half year later All over don't know me anymore Miss him so much am I normal thanks I'm old
I'm sixty do not see a life for myself l loved him so much very sudden death together fourth rour yearsx
I don’t know what the hell life is all about. How can you put one foot in front of the other when you are losing loved ones around you and you have evil like a cancer taking over the world and making life difficult for us all.
Is this a promo? There’s free content out there. Just saying.
She has lots of free content out there.
00:36 Some of us are grieving service members who fought/were decorated in service to the dreaded “West.” The liturgy of the self-flagellating American is trite, cynical, performative & obnoxious. Try being a grief influencer in the parts of the world you deem “enlightened.”
That pink noise at 9:36 was very startling. Not appreciated.
Farmers in third world countries . Still gotta farm. No 3 days of even. It is all about perspective. Not blaming structural issues.
OMG get to the point you are talking only about you
Your talking about grief/someone dying and your worrying about being paid... Geez you definitely live in a sick society.
Thank you