Omg , I lost my husband 2 years ago. My life is a mess now. I have not worked for over a year. Staying in bed all day. Hearing you talk was very soothing. And comforting. Making me feel like I am not crazy. I just miss him so much.
I lost my husband of 41 years two years ago. I get what you're saying. Life has gotten so hard. I don't cry (I am afraid to) but I sure do hurt terribly. I'm so sorry for your loss and I am so sorry for your pain. And the missing part, missing them as if that word even does it justice..............that is SO DARN HARD! Thinking of you sister!
I'm struggling as well.My husband as well passed away 2 years ago.1 year was I was stronger.Feel stuck,can't seem to move forward. But God will help us .Just take next steps 1 day at a time.
I lost my mom first to dementia then I lost her to death. My beautiful husband died in the midst of my grief for my mother's dementia. I never knew grief prior. Now 5 years later I can't escape it handle it or process it. My life feels erased from the very moment they died.
Thank you for sharing your grief. That is too much to lose both parent and husband at once. You are sharing what I think is true -my life will never not be about grief. I just lost my beloved father a month ago. As an adult -but not marrried no kids- I was always a daughter first and he was my anchor. My mom now widowed at 90-she is so altered I don’t know who she is. The death of my dad ended my familys happy energy forever. I will long for his loving presence till i pass. Nothing matters as much as I always wanted to show him what I was doing. He’s the only person I shined for. The rest of the world I have never been good enough somehow. What I have found is the ONE thing that connects us as human beings is not the happy markers in life -it’s grief. It’s a whole other world. You are not alone. We all are in the right place on David’s website. ❤
I'm sorry for your loss. I also lost my father to dementia when I was 23 and lost him again yesterday. I'm 35 now. His suffering kills me, dreaming of what could have been kills me.
My mom my dad my brother and then my husband passed away within less than 3 months of each other. It was every day I was putting one of my loved ones to rest. I don’t think you ever get done grieving over your family members.
I’m so sorry 😔 I lost my Dad then big sister now my Mumma. And the weird thing is my Mum had a heart attack 7 years to the day that my big sister died. 20th June, then on the 21st of June I watched my Mums heart beat get lesser & lesser 😔 I couldn’t take her off life support even though we all knew there was no hope. Now I’ve took on my young brother along with being a single Mum. I feel so alone & not old enough to have to struggle to much I’m 32 without anyone & 2 boys I need to be brave for. Life is so scary & sh*t!!! Again I’m sorry for your loss, I know it won’t help cause it doesn’t help me. 😔💔
I'm grieving mine while they live due to their deplorable behavior prior to and in the wake of my oldest son's death. I'm one of eight kids and now only speak to my youngest sister and her husband and my youngest brother. We're all the scapegoats now.
I’m grieving My two adult sons and my 4 grandkids.. it’s Complicated.. our Family has gone through so much Trauma.. Ugly divorce, Suicide.. sudden traumatic death.. We need healing payers.. my grief is estrangement.. grieving the living.. it’s devastating 😢💔
My heart goes out to you because I fully understand I do have lost both my sons My youngest 23years ago and my oldest one last May and three weeks ago my sister died, and that losses in between you ask yourself is this ever going to stop for God sakes!
Thank you. I thought something is wrong with me because I’ve literally cried everyday for two years. The tears are now 1 or 2 times a day instead of all day. I’m was becoming embarrassed! I was hiding it. I was told I just want a pity party. So thank you. From my heart thank you.
@anastasiakesky Same. I lost my oldest son 2.5 years ago, and I still cry and scream bloody murder into my pillow. I don't even think God can fix me at this point.
My little dog Fumi passed away last June, two of my cats have died and several years ago two of my other dogs and another cat passed away. I don’t think I properly grieved and now it’s all hitting me all at once. I miss all of them more than anyone including my own family. It’s one step and one day at a time and if the water works happens I just let myself do it. I miss their friendship and company and prefer to spend time alone. Hugs 🤗 and love coming to everyone here because we are not alone 😊
The love of an animal is like no other that I've experienced. I've lost three dogs myself thusfar and my dog (more-so my Dad's dog) now is about 15½years old. He is doing great but slowing down. We both know what's on the horizon. I lost my father July of 2023. He was my best friend whom I consciously lived with my whole life and we had a great life together. I miss him immensely and "my dog" misses his just as much, if not more. The lesson my first dog taught me is "It's better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all." Life It's all just part of Life. It all hurst more than I can put into words but who I am, the love I have for animals and those who are worth loving is a result of having had the absolute blessing of a relationship with my dogs, father, family, and friends. Easier said than done but there's always more out there that are need of your life, your love. I hope you find it in you to put that out there again because it will be returned. ❤
I lost my 6 year old grand daughter in a sudden car accident and her mother as well 2 months ago. I haven't stopped crying. It hurts so bad. And then there's the pain I feel for my son and my other granddaughter. It's so overwhelming. I'm so glad I found this. I'm going to continue to grieve my way and listen to more of your powerful advice !
Being witness to the pain of your son & granddaughter while deep in the ocean of your own despair is overwhelming. Please be oh so gentle with yourself. One breath at a time darling. One breath at a time.
Thank you my beloved cat Harry passed away 5 days ago and he was in my world and was my family for 16 years so difficult week for me and this was helpful.
I’m so very, very sorry for your tremendous loss. I lost my sweet 16 year old dog, Luc on 04Oct, and I am devastated and so sad. I lost my precious Desi 14Dec, and am so devastated by his loss, too. My deepest condolences to you and you are in my prayers.
I went through the same experience when my husband showed the first symptoms of dementia I started grieving.When he passed away it was too hard, after nine months it is about the same. Blessings
My worst fear my entire life was losing my dad. Then dementia so cruel stole the dad I knew and needed. I knew I grieved him daily. 3 weeks ago he got his wings. I am broken. I want him back, I miss him even in the mind state he was in. He was the King of the family and that whole is huge. Dementia is so cruel. I wish I could fix it for everyone. I’m so sorry for your loss. I understand the pain you feel. We were blessed although right now I just can’t see it. ❤
You think u will be in control as you saw the worst coming and grieved them while they are still alive.The blow and pain just feel worse. Lost my mom 2 months ago and I'm taking it day by day, it's a lot😢
I just lost my Mom this week from COPD.😢 I MISS HER SO MUCH. THIS NUMBNESS AND PINCH IN MY CHEST. I thank you for your video. If my grief could speak to me, "Take one day at a time, breath in breath out, God has your hand."
Hello sweetie. I am in the same place for the same reason. Just found her yesterday morning after a nice relaxing chat the night before. I hope you're doing better now. I will be thinking of you.
If my grief could speak to me it would say. "You loved another.....otherwise your sorrow would not be felt so deeply." "Your ability to love is what makes you human." "Be glad!"
Ask yourself if you are expressing your love as grief. It’s an important thing to recognize. Do you feel obligated to grieve as a way to channel your love to your loved one? Is there a better way to love? How about choosing joy instead of sorrow when thinking about your loved one?
I lost my mom 2 months ago. She was my everything and now I'm all alone in this world. I literally have no one, no family and no relatives worth mentioning. I can't breathe, sleep, eat. She went suddenly. It was mom and me since I lost my dad to cancer at a v young age. Her loss and the fear of being alone is suffocating me. Moreover there are no grief share offline groups in India where your family and relatives are your default support system. I found that support here albeit online.
Hello I'm from india as well and I'm 33 yrs old man and i want to say I'm not a man yet coz i cry like baby every day since my mom died, unfortunately i lost my father also, being an orphan is like hell, I'm praying god daily to take my life and let me join my mother and father.
@@SamuelCovert I am so sorry for what you are going through, your tears are a testament of how much you love your parents, it's natural to cry as much as you want, I have found that time helps heal slowly, you were very fortunate to have enjoyed so much love from your parents and you will give that love back to the world who desperately needs it. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers 🙏 ❤️
@@SamuelCovert I am so sorry for you loss, it's OK to cry rhe death of a loved one is a tragic event and it's your way of manifesting there love for them. I am to sending you love and prayers in this dark moments. I want you to remember that the love of your parents will always be with you and you will pass that love the world as it badly needs it. Things that have help me with grief is talking to somebody, exercising, spending time in the sun , listening to grief videos and religious videos, prayer everytime you feel sad Drinking alot of water Eating until very full Thanking the world for another day Showering and shaving daily Going out for walks Being mindful of how strong you are Understanding it's OK to be sad Taking deep breaths when feeling sad When bad thoughts happen take a deep breath and say a prayer Remember how strong you are Remember God's endless love You are a fighter, God will help you get through this, you are stronger than you think you are One day you will look back and realize how strong you are I am praying for you and keeping you in my thoughts, 🙏🙏🙏
I lost both mum and dad two and a half weeks apart in Feb 2024. I have my crying moments but believe they have gone to a better place and are reunited with those that have gone before them. I believe hell is here on earth and we do suffer here on earth. Heaven is governed by God and is a peaceful, loving place and earth is governed by greedy, selfish humans. Anyway, that is what I believe.
I’m so sorry . I guess the amount of pain comes from the strength of connection . But I may be 100% wrong. Still very sorry for the loss of your mom.❤️🩹
I'm so sorry to hear about the loss of your mother. I lost mine 9 days ago. Nothing prepares you for the loss of a parent. I am suffering more than I ever thought I would. It's quite unbearable.
My dad died almost 60 years ago when I was a child. I have gone through many layers of grief ... but the biggest shift has happened in the last 2 days. 60 years later? Yes. I realised that I have been holding onto him and looking for him in every man I have ever known - never mind the ones I have fallen in love with who, god help them never stood a chance. II have spent the last two days allowing him to go to the light and understanding that he never abandoned me and never left me and that now he can be with me more freely as I have let him go and respected his spirit in ways that I didn't even know I wasn't doing. 60 years but better late than never! Thankyou for your work David ... I wish you had been around before you were even born!!
Thank you. I lost my daughter 5 months ago and have been struggling but I have started to see a therapist. My daughter died unexpectedly from a severe asthma attack. I lost my Dad when I was 11 and it took me 30 years to heal. I am 68 and I want to face my grief and heal the best I can.
People will mourn and witness the death of a loved one but divorce, loss of partner, loss of children, friends and family still alive is an isolated journey that people don't understand unless they have felt it themselves
Been there doing it..and my X family still thinks we are together..as knows nothing of my grief and they don't even know me other then I am the husband of their sister and mother..sharing with them would be lost at the start just complicate to whole mess..so I let them rest with what they don't know or could never accept..while I sit in my eternal grief..alone..my only refuge is the love that I can piece together in a broken heart.
I feel my mature grief came at about 18 months. The sun felt good on my face. I enjoyed that. Only saying to maybe help others. Lost my adult son in 2020 to substance abuse. At 4 years my husband died of ipf I was a caregiver 2.5 years of the for and in the anticipation of his death. He just died 9/2024 so I’m at 5 weeks. At this point I am isolating to process these tragedy’s hoping to find my footing. I do not stay in bed I keep moving I keep busy. Night time is hard. I’m Scared about this but I’m fighting my way through grief. I see it as I get attacks of it. A few mild days and feel I’m can do this. Then a violent attack. I know from the loss of my son. My mind will adjust and find a healthy way to carry my grief and the attacks. I’m watching everything I can to help cope. I don’t feel counseling is for me, I cry a lot and it gets me no where. My family is those ppl who say just only think of the positive. 😮 what is the positive in this tragedy? Yes I feel death of a loved one is a major tragic event. And your family friends should see that and let you talk. Not judge and give advice. Or say my loss was more than yours. Thus grief belongs to me. And I will try to process it healthy. Thanks so much for your help. Hugs to all grieving and caregivers. You grief is important. I acknowledge your pain. Let’s just talk about your person. That’s how I now hope I can help someone else. I have lost ppl because of my grief. They leave you. I hope I never did this to anyone.
Thanks for saying this.....I lost my 23 year old son to cancer. Brother and sister have not spoken to me since. They felt awkward around me and thought it best just to not bother with me anymore. I lost a son,,,,and i also lost a whole family.
@ totally understand how painful that is. Ppl don’t want to be around grief or a sad person. There isn’t enough education out there on how to cope with grief. Maybe because I cry to much or I say I’m fine and I’m so broken. Seems there would be more local grief groups. I think a lot of Grover’s don’t want to talk to a stranger about their pain. I sometimes feel no1 can help me. And maybe that’s true. But for now, Il do the time it takes to be able to laugh again. I’m sorry for you pain.
My sister died in September and it was really hard watching people just live their lives while I just sat there feeling broken I'm glad someone spoke on this.
That’s what I’m feeling right now. My father in law was shot in the head by his step son on September 2nd and I’m devastated ! I gotta come to work everyday and people are just living their life. Of course when you tell them you lost someone they’ll say “I’m so sorry about that. Sorry for your loss “‘etc… but then they continue living their lives while I’m sitting at my work desk confused. I was upset with management because they don’t seem to know how to empathize. If anything , the living is hell
My three yorkies died a month ago. I am broken-hearted, still crying every day. Neither of my parents death hurt this bad! I cannot believe this has hit me so hard.
I’m so very, very sorry for three devastating losses, all together; you have shock in addition to the terrible losses . And society is getting better, but for those of us grieving our fur babies, don’t really allow us the support extended to other types of grief. My deepest condolences to you and prayers going up for you.
My partner, the love of my life, died just about 3 weeks ago, September 1, 2024. I went from enjoying life to misery. I feel angry, frutrated, helpless, devastated and heartbroken. I'm afraid of the weekends. I dont want or like my life right now. The funniest man I ever knew is gone along with the laughter.
I lost my Father four days ago. My heart is shattered and hollow… my Dad meant everything to me. His resilience and strength to overcome triumphs in life by showing his unwavering love and kindness to everyone. Rest easy Dad ❤ 1967 - 2023
Thank you. I needed to hear all of this. My best friend died a year ago and my ex-husband died January 1st, 2023. We had been married twenty eight years. I still grieve for his loss even though we had been divorced for twelve years. Then on August ninth, 2023 my mom died. Some days I just can't do all this grieving over three people who I loved so much. I journal, talk to my friends and pray. Staying positive and having gratitude really helps a lot. The longer we fight it, the longer your grieving might last for the rest of your life. Grief is part of being a human being. Grief is normal. I pray everyone has a blessed day filled with peace, joy and love. ❤❤
My ex husband passed away last week he was my best friend and father to my oldest son he also helped raise my 2 younger kids. I don't know how to get through this. We've known each other for 27 years and made so many plans even though we divorced we planned on growing old together and he was my husband's best friend as well. I'm just devastated.
I lost my husband, mrhs ago 😢 I miss him so much, each day is so painful all I have is memories now but when I think of those memories I still feel pain in my heart 😢
I can relate, my husband died of starving to death via pancreatic cancer, this past August, ...for 3 months I cried daily, and it was physically painful like I was in a vice grip from chest down.....crying out to GOD to stop the pain was effective, ....I still cry daily, losing desire to continue on, nothing brings me any joy....
It's been 10 years since I lost the love of my life my husband of 19years and he is still missed immensely and it hurts deeply. Tears run easily and heart aches...😢
My parents both died when I was a teen, a year apart due to both having cancer. My husband died suddenly and traumatically leaving me with two little ones to raise and last year my lovely daughter, now a teen developed a heart condition and I feared I’d lose her - which triggered all the other losses. I am still quietly trying to manage that fear and the resurfaced grief so I don’t transmit it to my two. They’ve been through so much in their short lives.
My take away from this is running TOWARDS the storm. My son died unexpectedly in an accident in his job the day before thanksgiving. He was 28 years old. has been dead for a month and I have exhausted myself trying to be strong for the rest of my family .. I was immersing myself in art and music projects, Netflix and drinking even hooking up with my ex, cause I can’t stand the quiet moments I can’t stand this pain in my chest I try to sleep through it but I am learning to just be still snd let the tears fall!! Let the screams out. I acknowledge the anger that is percolating deep in my belly . The other day I punched my pillow and ripped up random magazines. I realized that this is a process and I MUST go through it. I am now doing more healthy things like praying and yoga to help cope with this traumatic and profound loss.i know it will take time to fully accept what’s happened and function more normally again.
My 20-year-old son was killed by a drunk driver on 11/13/23, and I am lost broken numb.......I finally reached out to find a grief therapist but every day is painful exhausting
Everyone here has such terrible grief. Thank you for saying that it's not a slice of pie. Everybody grieves in their own way and everybody deserves their grief because it's different than everybody else's. What a kind and gentle epiphany you are offering here. I just recently lost a soulmate that was in the form of a tiny little dog . It's the hardest hitting grief I've ever experienced. Thank you for this video. I'm going to definitely check out your books
I lost my 4 years old daughter three months ago, The unimaginable pain I feel is overwhelming. Hearing you is quite suiting. I hope the pain I feel reduces.
@@sari8619 I’m getting better, The realization that she’s not coming back is overwhelming. I know she’s is in a better place and I take consolation in that.
The welfare officer from the company my late husband worked for said to me " i have heard that you are not even crying" my husband had died in a traffic accident when I had a 10 month old baby and my FIL ( ultimare cintrol freak ) had been moaning about my lack of grieving to the welfare officer behind my back. I used to mainly cry once my baby was asleep and I was on my own❤
My psychiatrist said this should last about a month. This is a 36 year relationship/marriage. I said this, my third year, has involved crying I’ve never done. It’s been daily. It’s easing and it is a complicated grief. Big highs, big lows. I’m doing my best. I’ve eaten when I didn’t want to, exercised when I didn’t want to, etc. I’m starting to get excited about things that brought me joy but that felt flat. I can see that it’s a process I didn’t experience with other griefs. I stuffed parts of those. Thank you for addressing that “I’ll never stop crying” fear. I did stuff it but in other areas knew to lean in. The day came…no more stuffing. I wasn’t leaning in but it got ahead of me and something tripped that switch. Just like stuffing other things and learning to share in my 12th step program, I let openness happen long enough that the “normal stuffing” wouldn’t do that for long anymore.
I lost my mother, she is and was my pride and joy and strength, I know I will never get over it 💔 I am overwhelmed with pain and hurt.. she was such a selfless and loving mother to all her 4 offsprings. God rest and bless her gentle soul.. 🕊️🕊️🕊️🙏
I lost my dad and my sister six months ago and I can't express how much painful losing them both in just one month. Sometimes I can't believe that happened. I've been through a lot this year but grieving their death is beyond any pain and loss. Thank you for this video, I feel somehow better after listening to you. What you said is very helpful and touching.
I needed this today. I lost my only brother on May 4, 2023. To add insult to injury, when I called to schedule a session with my therapist of 7 years, I was informed that he had passed as well. It’s now December 2023, and I fell the pain in my heart every single day. These videos are very insightful and helpful. Thank you!
This is powerful! Our son died two years ago and I've often felt stuck and wondered why I'm not further along. This gives me permission to feel my grief and not push it away.
I lost my son four years ago. Losing a child is so very devastating, at least for me. I still fight depression, I cry often, and feel he was cheated of his life and love.
My son went home to daddy house last month. I haven’t experienced grief like everyone else. I know he’s with God and Jesus. He was only 21. I can’t bring myself to cry or mourn because I don’t believe in death. I know that Christ lives in us and was in my son. And I spoke of Christ often giving my family that spiritual guidance while alive. None of me or my children have fallen apart. Because I knew that every bit of my understanding and strength literally comes from God. Seek him and he can remove the hurts and pains. There’s nothing wrong with grieving but it takes so much of your time away to live. Live everyday in the moment. Love yourself enough to heal
Grieving happens when there is a big shift in your lifestyle and surroundings. People can be in those surroundings, and when they are gone we grieve of course. I grieved familiarity when I moved from Florida to California in 2002. I grieved after I graduated college and didn't have the support of my fellow students any more. I grieved for about 2 years when I moved from LA to San Diego. I am still grieving the loss of my job that I loved. I grieve the patients who have died. Also note that when you experience a new grief, you mourn all the losses that you've ever had in the past. My therapist brought this to my attention and it makes perfect sense. How can we know what love and bliss feels like, if we don't know the pain of grief to compare it to? Grieving something means that it was valued whether it was a person, pet, job, home, city, etc.
my friend died from brain cancer in the time of just two weeks... just when her syptoms appeard. we knew each othe only a year but we had a so deepful relationship and we were so much alike. im grieving 4 months now, i dont want to go to our university cause i have so much anger in me and so much sadness. no one gets me, they dont get the pain i feel. they all say just dont be depressed things like this are happening all the time, u cant escape death etc etc. This person was one of the most wonderful and kind persons that i had encountered and she was trying her best to do in life with all the struggles that she had. she is gonna live in my memories forever , her emotions and our moments are still here deep in my heart. my grieving says that she was the most sweet girl and that my love for her is still alive even in an different way. i may fail in the university but i cant stand going there with everyone acting like nothing happened.
Although my grief comes from a break up I still feel that I have to learn how to go from being in love with him, to finding a way to love him in his absence and move forward.
I am at a loss of what to do as I navigate a divorce from 25 years of amazing, blessed memories. She has moved on, in a new relationship with a married man, she is a home wrecker twice and still will not accept any fault for the ruin of ours. I can't seem to move on, like I fell in the river and it's not moving.
This is the second time I have listened to this video and I am so glad to be able to access your teaching! My wife died 17 months ago and I was beginning to beat myself up for not being further along. I love the analogy of the river. It helps make more sense out of this painful journey. I know God is using you, David, as he has been for many years. I take hope in knowing that all of this pain can be used for a good purpose in helping others! May God continue to work through you, and all of us who are traveling this road!
my partner died of cancer. 6 months ago. Our relationship was only 4 years old but it was very special and came along later in our lives, the best one I've ever had. People around me think I should be moving on, that it will help me but the idea of doing that only makes me feel disloyal to him and I fear time will diminish what we had. What do you tell yourself about this?
My mother in law died Mother’s Day then the next day I found my partner dead in bed ,he has a big family but they don’t want to help….and there is soooo much more,I’m about to leave for the funeral homenow😢australi a
@@cristinaevans139 I' m so sorry for your losses. Grief is love with nowhere to go. Be strong and when it's over let the grief drive for as long as it wants to get a little exercise in the mornings to shake off the dark night, stay busy when you can even if it's mindless work & remember to be around people when it feels right, even if you just go to the movies sometimes. I lost my partner 7 months ago & that's what's helping me.
I lost my mum 10 months ago, and listening to you has helped me to understand and to go at my own pace I unfortunately am stuck in shock and numbness still, but thank you
David Kessler I'm sure many people find some peace in following your video and books on grief. Just let me assure you speaking from the heart of a mother that has lost a beautiful son x who is Loved beyond words ❤️ x . From 2021 my whole world fell apart every cell in body hurts every second of everyday. Still the same there's never a day i want to wake up. This is different grief the pain is cruciating every second of everyday. There's no words no books out there that can really help if you haven't had a young or older child transitioned David Kessler you HAVEN'T got the slightest idea what it really feels like i don't care how many people you have interviewed unless you are walking in the shoes of us parents who are trying to survive this. And to be honest i really don't want to survive this. This pain is forever because grief is Love and i will Love ❤️ my son x forever x This is one so unfair world why is it always the good ones that are taking and wicked people left to live their lives to the full May be answe that because I would love to know.
I lost my older sister April 2017 and then my younger sister and best friend July 2022. Both of my sisters were only 38 years old when they passed suddenly. Life now feels empty, and everything seems to have lost its color, taste and meaning. Its been almost 2 years since my beautiful little sister died but lately I have been absolutely falling apart. I have episodes of grief where I sob to the point of becoming mute and unable to speak. A large part of me died with my sisters and its hard knowing who I am now that they're no longer here. This video was so validating though and when you said "grief is a reflection of a connection that has been lost" I feel like if I can just find a way to reconnect with my sisters the grief will lessen and I can keep loving them without the pain that comes along with it. ❤
"We spoke in tears for fifteen years How the dog and him They travelled about. His dog up and died. He up and died. After twenty years he still grieves." Jerry Jeff Walker
Having gone through so much loss , mother passed when i was a child so learnt to grow without parents , I believe we have to make a pact with ourselves, we have to grieve but we have to get back up and carry on living ...when people pass they go to another spiritual plane ..energy is eternal it changes it's physicality so that's hard not see them , Life is a gift we must understand that a loved one will always want our happiness and we have to become a whole in ourselves we need to keep going towards dreams , grieve but don't forget to live & love is eternal don't close yourself off from it ❤
Thank you. Still grieving the many losses that come from a divorce after a year. Thank you for this info. Thought I was in trouble, but now I know it is okay. Not fun, but okay. Thank you!
Thank you for this. My mom was only 49 when I lost her and it was sudden. It's been 7 years ago and it's been hard to get over. I have said all the negative "why can't I get over this" to myself. But my mom was- is an amazing mother. She was taken too young and unexpected. I have had to get out of this on my own.
@didu2689 I hit rock bottom. Worked 50 hours a week at a dead end job to ignore the pain and it almost killed me. It took my health downhill until I had to face my pain. The pain took physical form that I couldn't ignore any longer. I lost my job and had chronic health issues. I had to get into therapy and find work from home to survive. Through a crapload of therapy, lucking out that I got on medicaid from falling to the bottom, and working on myself in therapy, I am getting myself back up and feeling better. It's taken several years and a lot of life changes. But I'm stubborn and am doing it.
This video helps. My sweet Dad passed away 6 months ago and it was so hard and painful. I am still crying a lot, though it.s getting a little less frequently. Knowing early grief can last 2 years helps. How come everyone else sees fine and I still want to stay home and burro into the couch. I agree that our grief needs to be seen and recognized being in a grief grouonhas helped but I might start therapy. Though that just brings up so much emotion.. I believe my grief will bring me healing if I let it
I lost my Mother when l was 18, that was 37 years ago. I wasn't allowed to grieve nor express any emotions. I have struggled with Depression ever since. My Counsellor said that l might need Specialist Grief Counselling. It sounds pathetic but l still feel very alone without my Mother. Situation is exacerbated by my ambivalent feelings towards her too. I loved her, and hated her cuz she over protected me, didn't see me as a separate person, made me very dependent. She, and my family decided to not tell me that her Cancer was terminal, yet l found her dead I feel it's really fucked my life up I hope i can make changes to live a happier, healthier and more productive life xx
Thank you so mucb your message is so comforting i just lost my mom grandma other family and just found out the father of my child died age 42 wishing everyone love comfort as well
When I was 8-9yo my father went away to visit family and died in another country to never come back. It broke my mother completely. They had both terrible childhoods and I suffered total neglect as a result which the loss burned into my soul forever. We did not speak about it…went on with our life hoping to get some distance…somehow we made It just another „Tuesday“… My very existence never came to be. I m inanimate. Not human. All that happend made me turn away from life. I became the monument of shame and guilt. I became a shadow… After 30 years how does one connect to the emotions of it all? It’s all so strange…
Your talk about grief was very helpful to me I lost my son of 57 years, we very close and I was his caretaker for 7 years. And I am having a very hard time. You talk about the stick in te river was helpful. Leo the end about feeling our grief and why is it tellin us .
Thank you. I’m still triggered by things I joined my husband to his friends service who passed and was overwhelmed with grief crying when I saw all the people that showed up and the pictures and a movie on his life. My mother had just me at the funeral home no celebration but I connected instantly with his mom at the service and we exchanged numbers. I will do anything to support her in her loss knowing how hard it is for me. I didn’t sleep through the night after that trigger I woke up crying in the middle of the night. Happiness isn’t here yet I pray one day to have happy moments. I find the I tube forum so supportive. People here understand my struggle thank you for your support. It means a lot because I had no support. That leaves a void. 😢
Thank you!!.. for mentioning that Grief is anything you are connected to, and different to us as fingerprints. My loss of my career job, has destroyed me!!, months later,.. im still suffering deeply for my loss. Thank you.. 🙏
Great content, to those grieving lots of love and compassion from a fellow griever ..by far and I mean FAR, THE best monologue on grief I have listened to and I've pretty much heard them all. Words coming from experience both subjective and objective, felt and heard alike. Thank you.
"Doesn't mean you have to grief in pain" 2 years I was wondering if I am ever going to get better, after hearing you say it is "early grief" I felt relieved. 10 years...lost him to another woman, my son lost his girlfriend to another guy at the same time and I was doing double grief "complicated grief" because every Mom wants her son happy. My grief wants me to know that I truly did everything I could.
I'm so glad you told the howdy story, it caused me to laugh--"I'm not a howdy person... . " Up to that point I was in tears. Everything you spoke about resonated with me. It has been four years since a series of major losses occurred in my life and I am still tender in those spots. I can say that it was about 3 years after the last devastating event before I felt I was getting my footing. It is so true that every hurt craves a benevolent witness (I forgot the author of that saying), and the story about everyone moving something after someone dies. I remember when my nana died. I looked around and thought how can the music still play, how can people keep doing. I wanted everyone and everything to stop. Thank you Commune for putting this video out there.
Early grief. Mature grief. My grief needs to be witnessed... needs to be seen... Thank you for your much needed content. I'm too exhausted to try to repeat the complicated grief situation I'm in right now...
@melaniefong8211 5 stages definitely threw me off for real. I'm just beginning to get some clarity on my grief and it has been a year since my mom passed.
A thoroughly wonderful video - thank you for this David - if my grief could speak to me I think it would say 'let it all out' no matter how stupid, weak and sad that may look to outsiders - I'm taking my partner's ashes to be released on Mt Vesuvius overlooking the Bay of Naples - he would have like that - bless and thank you
I lost my husband of 54 years a year and 2 months ago. I function but with tears every day..for a few minutes. I knew?he would probably pass before me but his death was 6 days after a cancer diagnosis and he had congestive heart failure and diabetes for a long time. We were fortunate to have a long good life together. Loss is deep within me. What can I say? Pick up the pieces and do the best I can to keep going on.
My grief is not from lost.I cry every day for 40 years because i need love and i didnt find it until now so it is not lost because i never had love and this is reason of my grief.....so i dont agree that grief is only lost....it is not only lost...it is also loning for something what is blocked for you in life like love fore me.
So much awesome! Will use this to share. I try to tell people some of this but I'm not the best with words. All the things I've learned the hard way over the years. Grief will be different with each loss, even deaths. They effect us differently but also we are different people. One of the things I do try to tell people is that the only thing you can do wrong with grief is to repress it. Although addiction is something we should also avoid.
Dear David. I’ve only just read this and you recorded it a year ago.... I lost my brother 32 years ago and I still grieve for him. We were very very close. I talk to him often and tell him what’s going on and also stories of things that are going on. B Just over 10 years ago I lost the only man I have ever loved. I still grieve. I miss him terribly. I still love him absolutely and am not interested in anyone else. As with my brother, I talk to him all the time too. I feel his presence. I feel he is waiting for me. I’m coming my beautiful man.❤️❤️🌹🙏🏽
🙏Thank you SO much Dr. Kessler. You've mentioned something no one has said about Grief. I'm hurting so bad. I lost my long time career job, and I miss everything about it.! My coworkers, my job itself, workplace, social interactions, the busses I drove, etc.. Im in always pain. The pain in my chest... and constant sadness of knowing I cannot return. I've lost interest in my life,... My family, friends, neighbors want me to " let go, move on " ... but, im unable. I cannot Snap-out of this. Life is continuing, yet im not involved. Thank you for understanding, my loss is real.
Sometimes grief in a relationship is a hard one. Feels like someone you loved passed away. Learning to move on now that you accept the relationship is over. Hurts but just has to be done for you.!!
I lost my grandmother my most loving maternal uncle very dear to me. My of my dreams we were going to marry past 13 years relationship ended abruptly his parents ended our wedding. Its been a long time can't get over the grief
My father passed away at 92 years old this october 1st 2024. I grew up and spent each and everyday with him up until his last breath. At my 34 years of age, It still feels unreal and i'm still hoping that this is all just a bad dream everytime i go to sleep. nothing is the same without him and it fuckin hurts so much.
![Stromae, Pomme - “Ma Meilleure Ennemie” (from Arcane Season 2) [Official Visualizer]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/1F3OGIFnW1k/mqdefault.jpg)
Omg , I lost my husband 2 years ago. My life is a mess now. I have not worked for over a year. Staying in bed all day. Hearing you talk was very soothing. And comforting. Making me feel like I am not crazy. I just miss him so much.
....I get you. It's been 7 months for me, not 1 day goes by that I don't tear up over R, it'll never be over for me til Jesus takes me home.
Same exact
I lost my husband of 41 years two years ago. I get what you're saying. Life has gotten so hard. I don't cry (I am afraid to) but I sure do hurt terribly. I'm so sorry for your loss and I am so sorry for your pain. And the missing part, missing them as if that word even does it justice..............that is SO DARN HARD! Thinking of you sister!
I hear ya. Lost my hubby 8 yrs ago and some days are still like that. ❤🙏
I'm struggling as well.My husband as well passed away 2 years ago.1 year was I was stronger.Feel stuck,can't seem to move forward. But God will help us .Just take next steps 1 day at a time.
I lost my mom first to dementia then I lost her to death. My beautiful husband died in the midst of my grief for my mother's dementia. I never knew grief prior. Now 5 years later I can't escape it handle it or process it. My life feels erased from the very moment they died.
I just want to say that my heart is with you. your honesty is beautiful and I witness your hurt ...❤
Thank you for sharing your grief. That is too much to lose both parent and husband at once. You are sharing what I think is true -my life will never not be about grief. I just lost my beloved father a month ago. As an adult -but not marrried no kids- I was always a daughter first and he was my anchor. My mom now widowed at 90-she is so altered I don’t know who she is. The death of my dad ended my familys happy energy forever. I will long for his loving presence till i pass. Nothing matters as much as I always wanted to show him what I was doing. He’s the only person I shined for. The rest of the world I have never been good enough somehow. What I have found is the ONE thing that connects us as human beings is not the happy markers in life -it’s grief. It’s a whole other world. You are not alone. We all are in the right place on David’s website. ❤
I feel the same way. It’s been months and I can’t get out of bed and stare at the wall all day.
I'm sorry for your loss. I also lost my father to dementia when I was 23 and lost him again yesterday. I'm 35 now. His suffering kills me, dreaming of what could have been kills me.
They both would want you to be happy and move on with your life. Hugs.
My mom my dad my brother and then my husband passed away within less than 3 months of each other. It was every day I was putting one of my loved ones to rest. I don’t think you ever get done grieving over your family members.
I'm so sorry to read your great losses....
I have only lost my mom and my world is upside down . My thoughts are with you.😢
I’m so sorry 😔
I lost my Dad then big sister now my Mumma. And the weird thing is my Mum had a heart attack 7 years to the day that my big sister died. 20th June, then on the 21st of June I watched my Mums heart beat get lesser & lesser 😔 I couldn’t take her off life support even though we all knew there was no hope. Now I’ve took on my young brother along with being a single Mum.
I feel so alone & not old enough to have to struggle to much I’m 32 without anyone & 2 boys I need to be brave for. Life is so scary & sh*t!!!
Again I’m sorry for your loss, I know it won’t help cause it doesn’t help me.
😔💔
I'm grieving mine while they live due to their deplorable behavior prior to and in the wake of my oldest son's death. I'm one of eight kids and now only speak to my youngest sister and her husband and my youngest brother. We're all the scapegoats now.
You poor pet, how horrible for you, sending you love light and healing
I’m grieving My two adult sons and my 4 grandkids.. it’s Complicated.. our Family has gone through so much Trauma.. Ugly divorce, Suicide.. sudden traumatic death.. We need healing payers.. my grief is estrangement.. grieving the living.. it’s devastating 😢💔
My heart goes out to you because I fully understand I do have lost both my sons My youngest 23years ago and my oldest one last May and three weeks ago my sister died, and that losses in between you ask yourself is this ever going to stop for God sakes!
I am praying for you
🙏🌻🙏
Estrangement is pure torture, am deeply sorry for you.
For those still alive, cling to hope. For lost loved ones, I'm my own mess right now and I don't know if I will ever heal and I keep trying.
Thank you. I thought something is wrong with me because I’ve literally cried everyday for two years. The tears are now 1 or 2 times a day instead of all day. I’m was becoming embarrassed! I was hiding it. I was told I just want a pity party. So thank you. From my heart thank you.
😢😢
... I understand that daily thing, I'm going through that also....😪
I am crying every day for two years and six months. It doesn't get better. Can't sleep, I just suffer, enormously.
@anastasiakesky Same. I lost my oldest son 2.5 years ago, and I still cry and scream bloody murder into my pillow. I don't even think God can fix me at this point.
''The river of grief'...beautiful analogy. Please let this river be swift..
My little dog Fumi passed away last June, two of my cats have died and several years ago two of my other dogs and another cat passed away. I don’t think I properly grieved and now it’s all hitting me all at once. I miss all of them more than anyone including my own family. It’s one step and one day at a time and if the water works happens I just let myself do it. I miss their friendship and company and prefer to spend time alone. Hugs 🤗 and love coming to everyone here because we are not alone 😊
The love of an animal is like no other that I've experienced.
I've lost three dogs myself thusfar and my dog (more-so my Dad's dog) now is about 15½years old. He is doing great but slowing down. We both know what's on the horizon.
I lost my father July of 2023. He was my best friend whom I consciously lived with my whole life and we had a great life together.
I miss him immensely and "my dog" misses his just as much, if not more.
The lesson my first dog taught me is "It's better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all."
Life
It's all just part of Life. It all hurst more than I can put into words but who I am, the love I have for animals and those who are worth loving is a result of having had the absolute blessing of a relationship with my dogs, father, family, and friends.
Easier said than done but there's always more out there that are need of your life, your love. I hope you find it in you to put that out there again because it will be returned. ❤
@@glenj.taylor2938 thank you for your support 🥰🤗
I lost my 6 year old grand daughter in a sudden car accident and her mother as well 2 months ago. I haven't stopped crying. It hurts so bad. And then there's the pain I feel for my son and my other granddaughter. It's so overwhelming. I'm so glad I found this. I'm going to continue to grieve my way and listen to more of your powerful advice !
My deepest condolences. Stay strong
Being witness to the pain of your son & granddaughter while deep in the ocean of your own despair is overwhelming. Please be oh so gentle with yourself. One breath at a time darling. One breath at a time.
Sending you my heart ❤️ felt condolences 🙏 x
@@tmk68 I'm so very sorry, dear.
I lost all last Friday. My love of 15 years. Tammy was a very special lady.
All of it. Every word. I lost my husband of 42 years last February and I'm mid-60s, beyond lost. Thanks so much for the helpful healing.
@randomhodgepodge8902 I know what you mean by "lost." Me too. So hard. Sending love.
“The river of grief will take you to your healing” that really spoke to me.
It could also drown you, which is how I’m feeling right now.
@@trisharitterme too I lost my hubby April 25, 2023. I am struggling right at this moment. I wish I could turn off my brain and the torment.
Still waiting, no relief,just pain and sorrow. Feel like I don’t belong anywhere!
....that river keeps me uncomfortably cold, wet, alone, looking forward to my death, I can't swim, and don't care to learn.
Tomorrow the water in the river may be calmer
Thank you my beloved cat Harry passed away 5 days ago and he was in my world and was my family for 16 years so difficult week for me and this was helpful.
I’m so very, very sorry for your tremendous loss. I lost my sweet 16 year old dog, Luc on 04Oct, and I am devastated and so sad. I lost my precious Desi 14Dec, and am so devastated by his loss, too. My deepest condolences to you and you are in my prayers.
I grieved when I lost my husband bit by bit through dementia. But when he died, that took my grief to a whole different level and intense.
I went through the same experience when my husband showed the first symptoms of dementia I started grieving.When he passed away it was too hard, after nine months it is about the same. Blessings
My worst fear my entire life was losing my dad. Then dementia so cruel stole the dad I knew and needed. I knew I grieved him daily. 3 weeks ago he got his wings. I am broken. I want him back, I miss him even in the mind state he was in. He was the King of the family and that whole is huge. Dementia is so cruel. I wish I could fix it for everyone. I’m so sorry for your loss. I understand the pain you feel. We were blessed although right now I just can’t see it. ❤
You think u will be in control as you saw the worst coming and grieved them while they are still alive.The blow and pain just feel worse. Lost my mom 2 months ago and I'm taking it day by day, it's a lot😢
I just lost my Mom this week from COPD.😢 I MISS HER SO MUCH. THIS NUMBNESS AND PINCH IN MY CHEST. I thank you for your video. If my grief could speak to me, "Take one day at a time, breath in breath out, God has your hand."
Hello sweetie. I am in the same place for the same reason. Just found her yesterday morning after a nice relaxing chat the night before. I hope you're doing better now. I will be thinking of you.
Take good care of yourself. I send love to you in your loss - comfort from God too ❤
I lost my dad from COPD last year. I am feeling like you and trying to cope. This video helped.
my mom passed from COPD and mistreatment from a horrible rehab. I miss her , I was her caregiver for 20 years. I am so lost. Prayers.
@@roseharris7457 I lost my Dad to COPD in April. This was and is the hardest thing I've ever been through.
If my grief could speak to me it would say. "You loved another.....otherwise your sorrow would not be felt so deeply." "Your ability to love is what makes you human." "Be glad!"
Ask yourself if you are expressing your love as grief. It’s an important thing to recognize. Do you feel obligated to grieve as a way to channel your love to your loved one? Is there a better way to love? How about choosing joy instead of sorrow when thinking about your loved one?
@@graceg3250 grief isn't one 'emotion' like joy or sorrow. you don't 'chose' it exactly. You pass through it.
"Grief is love with nowhere to go"
I lost my mom 2 months ago. She was my everything and now I'm all alone in this world. I literally have no one, no family and no relatives worth mentioning.
I can't breathe, sleep, eat. She went suddenly. It was mom and me since I lost my dad to cancer at a v young age. Her loss and the fear of being alone is suffocating me. Moreover there are no grief share offline groups in India where your family and relatives are your default support system. I found that support here albeit online.
❤🙏🏼
I just wanted to send you love and comfort, I am sorry for you loss, I will keep you in my prayers ❤
Hello I'm from india as well and I'm 33 yrs old man and i want to say I'm not a man yet coz i cry like baby every day since my mom died, unfortunately i lost my father also, being an orphan is like hell, I'm praying god daily to take my life and let me join my mother and father.
@@SamuelCovert I am so sorry for what you are going through, your tears are a testament of how much you love your parents, it's natural to cry as much as you want, I have found that time helps heal slowly, you were very fortunate to have enjoyed so much love from your parents and you will give that love back to the world who desperately needs it. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers 🙏 ❤️
@@SamuelCovert I am so sorry for you loss, it's OK to cry rhe death of a loved one is a tragic event and it's your way of manifesting there love for them. I am to sending you love and prayers in this dark moments. I want you to remember that the love of your parents will always be with you and you will pass that love the world as it badly needs it. Things that have help me with grief is talking to somebody,
exercising, spending time in the sun
, listening to grief videos
and religious videos,
prayer everytime you feel sad
Drinking alot of water
Eating until very full
Thanking the world for another day
Showering and shaving daily
Going out for walks
Being mindful of how strong you are
Understanding it's OK to be sad
Taking deep breaths when feeling sad
When bad thoughts happen take a deep breath and say a prayer
Remember how strong you are
Remember God's endless love
You are a fighter, God will help you get through this, you are stronger than you think you are
One day you will look back and realize how strong you are
I am praying for you and keeping you in my thoughts, 🙏🙏🙏
What’s the worst loss? Your loss. That’s truly precious to say to people.
I lost both mum and dad two and a half weeks apart in Feb 2024. I have my crying moments but believe they have gone to a better place and are reunited with those that have gone before them. I believe hell is here on earth and we do suffer here on earth. Heaven is governed by God and is a peaceful, loving place and earth is governed by greedy, selfish humans. Anyway, that is what I believe.
I have just lost my mother I’m hurting more then I thought I could bear . I miss her so much .
I’m so sorry . I guess the amount of pain comes from the strength of connection . But I may be 100% wrong. Still very sorry for the loss of your mom.❤️🩹
I'm so sorry to hear about the loss of your mother. I lost mine 9 days ago. Nothing prepares you for the loss of a parent. I am suffering more than I ever thought I would. It's quite unbearable.
My dad died almost 60 years ago when I was a child. I have gone through many layers of grief ... but the biggest shift has happened in the last 2 days. 60 years later? Yes. I realised that I have been holding onto him and looking for him in every man I have ever known - never mind the ones I have fallen in love with who, god help them never stood a chance. II have spent the last two days allowing him to go to the light and understanding that he never abandoned me and never left me and that now he can be with me more freely as I have let him go and respected his spirit in ways that I didn't even know I wasn't doing. 60 years but better late than never! Thankyou for your work David ... I wish you had been around before you were even born!!
Thank you. I lost my daughter 5 months ago and have been struggling but I have started to see a therapist. My daughter died unexpectedly from a severe asthma attack. I lost my Dad when I was 11 and it took me 30 years to heal. I am 68 and I want to face my grief and heal the best I can.
Sending you hugs. May you find the peace you need to continue on this journey called life. I was listening to The Temptations I wish it would rain.
I am so sorry for your love. I will keep you in my prayers and sending you love through this comment ❤❤
I lost my child and your video is helping. Thank you.
I did judge myself for grieving as long as I have, until I just surrendered to it. My grief has many faces.
People will mourn and witness the death of a loved one but divorce, loss of partner, loss of children, friends and family still alive is an isolated journey that people don't understand unless they have felt it themselves
Thank you for this comment!!! 🙏🙏
Agreed. It is the death of an entire family yet society has normalized divorce so there is no grieving for the victims of divorce.
Been there doing it..and my X family still thinks we are together..as knows nothing of my grief and they don't even know me other then I am the husband of their sister and mother..sharing with them would be lost at the start just complicate to whole mess..so I let them rest with what they don't know or could never accept..while I sit in my eternal grief..alone..my only refuge is the love that I can piece together in a broken heart.
Having to move, downsize, leave it all behind grief... We choose it, and yet it causes grief.
I feel my mature grief came at about 18 months. The sun felt good on my face. I enjoyed that. Only saying to maybe help others. Lost my adult son in 2020 to substance abuse. At 4 years my husband died of ipf I was a caregiver 2.5 years of the for and in the anticipation of his death. He just died 9/2024 so I’m at 5 weeks. At this point I am isolating to process these tragedy’s hoping to find my footing. I do not stay in bed I keep moving I keep busy. Night time is hard. I’m
Scared about this but I’m fighting my way through grief. I see it as I get attacks of it. A few mild days and feel I’m can do this. Then a violent attack. I know from the loss of my son. My mind will adjust and find a healthy way to carry my grief and the attacks. I’m watching everything I can to help cope. I don’t feel counseling is for me, I cry a lot and it gets me no where. My family is those ppl who say just only think of the positive. 😮 what is the positive in this tragedy? Yes I feel death of a loved one is a major tragic event. And your family friends should see that and let you talk. Not judge and give advice. Or say my loss was more than yours. Thus grief belongs to me. And I will try to process it healthy. Thanks so much for your help. Hugs to all grieving and caregivers. You grief is important. I acknowledge your pain. Let’s just talk about your person. That’s how I now hope I can help someone else. I have lost ppl because of my grief. They leave you. I hope I never did this to anyone.
Thanks for saying this.....I lost my 23 year old son to cancer. Brother and sister have not spoken to me since. They felt awkward around me and thought it best just to not bother with me anymore. I lost a son,,,,and i also lost a whole family.
@ totally understand how painful that is. Ppl don’t want to be around grief or a sad person. There isn’t enough education out there on how to cope with grief. Maybe because I cry to much or I say I’m fine and I’m so broken. Seems there would be more local grief groups. I think a lot of Grover’s don’t want to talk to a stranger about their pain. I sometimes feel no1 can help me. And maybe that’s true. But for now, Il do the time it takes to be able to laugh again. I’m sorry for you pain.
My sister died in September and it was really hard watching people just live their lives while I just sat there feeling broken I'm glad someone spoke on this.
That’s what I’m feeling right now. My father in law was shot in the head by his step son on September 2nd and I’m devastated ! I gotta come to work everyday and people are just living their life. Of course when you tell them you lost someone they’ll say “I’m so sorry about that. Sorry for your loss “‘etc… but then they continue living their lives while I’m sitting at my work desk confused. I was upset with management because they don’t seem to know how to empathize. If anything , the living is hell
My three yorkies died a month ago. I am broken-hearted, still crying every day. Neither of my parents death hurt this bad! I cannot believe this has hit me so hard.
I’m so very, very sorry for three devastating losses, all together; you have shock in addition to the terrible losses . And society is getting better, but for those of us grieving our fur babies, don’t really allow us the support extended to other types of grief. My deepest condolences to you and prayers going up for you.
I am so so sorry god bless hunni
Sending healing and comfort and peace❤
My partner, the love of my life, died just about 3 weeks ago, September 1, 2024. I went from enjoying life to misery. I feel angry, frutrated, helpless, devastated and heartbroken. I'm afraid of the weekends. I dont want or like my life right now. The funniest man I ever knew is gone along with the laughter.
I feel you. My husband passed away 10.21. 24. My heart is shattered. I miss him crazily. I cry days and night...
@@simplehappiness65I’m so sorry for your loss. It makes me sad we all have to go through this.
Thank you David. My husband of 42 years passed 14 months ago So appreciate your kind words
I lost my Father four days ago. My heart is shattered and hollow… my Dad meant everything to me. His resilience and strength to overcome triumphs in life by showing his unwavering love and kindness to everyone. Rest easy Dad ❤
1967 - 2023
Bless you Dear one, your Father sounds a wonderful man. 🦋❤️
Thank you. I needed to hear all of this. My best friend died a year ago and my ex-husband died January 1st, 2023. We had been married twenty eight years. I still grieve for his loss even though we had been divorced for twelve years. Then on August ninth, 2023 my mom died. Some days I just can't do all this grieving over three people who I loved so much. I journal, talk to my friends and pray. Staying positive and having gratitude really helps a lot. The longer we fight it, the longer your grieving might last for the rest of your life. Grief is part of being a human being. Grief is normal. I pray everyone has a blessed day filled with peace, joy and love. ❤❤
My ex husband passed away last week he was my best friend and father to my oldest son he also helped raise my 2 younger kids. I don't know how to get through this. We've known each other for 27 years and made so many plans even though we divorced we planned on growing old together and he was my husband's best friend as well. I'm just devastated.
God bless you.
You are very positine❤
I lost my husband, mrhs ago 😢 I miss him so much, each day is so painful all I have is memories now but when I think of those memories I still feel pain in my heart 😢
I can relate, my husband died of starving to death via pancreatic cancer, this past August, ...for 3 months I cried daily, and it was physically painful like I was in a vice grip from chest down.....crying out to GOD to stop the pain was effective, ....I still cry daily, losing desire to continue on, nothing brings me any joy....
It's been 10 years since I lost the love of my life my husband of 19years and he is still missed immensely and it hurts deeply. Tears run easily and heart aches...😢
My parents both died when I was a teen, a year apart due to both having cancer. My husband died suddenly and traumatically leaving me with two little ones to raise and last year my lovely daughter, now a teen developed a heart condition and I feared I’d lose her - which triggered all the other losses. I am still quietly trying to manage that fear and the resurfaced grief so I don’t transmit it to my two. They’ve been through so much in their short lives.
My take away from this is running TOWARDS the storm. My son died unexpectedly in an accident in his job the day before thanksgiving. He was 28 years old. has been dead for a month and I have exhausted myself trying to be strong for the rest of my family .. I was immersing myself in art and music projects, Netflix and drinking even hooking up with my ex, cause I can’t stand the quiet moments I can’t stand this pain in my chest I try to sleep through it but I am learning to just be still snd let the tears fall!! Let the screams out. I acknowledge the anger that is percolating deep in my belly . The other day I punched my pillow and ripped up random magazines. I realized that this is a process and I MUST go through it. I am now doing more healthy things like praying and yoga to help cope with this traumatic and profound loss.i know it will take time to fully accept what’s happened and function more normally again.
I’m so very sorry for the tragic loss of your son. It’s unfair.
❤ hope you find some peace. How is your life now ?
My 20-year-old son was killed by a drunk driver on 11/13/23, and I am lost broken numb.......I finally reached out to find a grief therapist but every day is painful exhausting
I can’t even imagine that kind of traumatic loss 😢 I’m so very sorry.
🙏@@CoachPattyBlueHayes
Biggest hugs
So sorry for such a horrific loss . Losing a child is the worst.😢
Everyone here has such terrible grief. Thank you for saying that it's not a slice of pie. Everybody grieves in their own way and everybody deserves their grief because it's different than everybody else's. What a kind and gentle epiphany you are offering here.
I just recently lost a soulmate that was in the form of a tiny little dog . It's the hardest hitting grief I've ever experienced.
Thank you for this video. I'm going to definitely check out your books
I lost my 4 years old daughter three months ago, The unimaginable pain I feel is overwhelming. Hearing you is quite suiting. I hope the pain I feel reduces.
How are you ? ❤
@@sari8619 I’m getting better, The realization that she’s not coming back is overwhelming. I know she’s is in a better place and I take consolation in that.
@@paulpat9022 she is ♥️ And im so glad that you are too, even if its just a little bit easier to be. Remember to take care of yourself ♥️
As a grief counsellor myself. I have learned so much from you. You are wise and insightful. Thank you.
The welfare officer from the company my late husband worked for said to me " i have heard that you are not even crying" my husband had died in a traffic accident when I had a 10 month old baby and my FIL ( ultimare cintrol freak ) had been moaning about my lack of grieving to the welfare officer behind my back. I used to mainly cry once my baby was asleep and I was on my own❤
My psychiatrist said this should last about a month. This is a 36 year relationship/marriage. I said this, my third year, has involved crying I’ve never done. It’s been daily. It’s easing and it is a complicated grief. Big highs, big lows. I’m doing my best. I’ve eaten when I didn’t want to, exercised when I didn’t want to, etc. I’m starting to get excited about things that brought me joy but that felt flat. I can see that it’s a process I didn’t experience with other griefs. I stuffed parts of those. Thank you for addressing that “I’ll never stop crying” fear. I did stuff it but in other areas knew to lean in. The day came…no more stuffing. I wasn’t leaning in but it got ahead of me and something tripped that switch. Just like stuffing other things and learning to share in my 12th step program, I let openness happen long enough that the “normal stuffing” wouldn’t do that for long anymore.
I lost my brother to suicide recently, everything is changed, i'm changed. I miss him so much and there are no answers. Thank you ❤️
I’m so sorry 😢 That is a tremendous loss and a complex grief.
@@CoachPattyBlueHayes Thank you ❤️
@@CoachPattyBlueHayes Thank you!
'What we resist persists', truly resonated with me. Thank you so much💙
I lost my mother, she is and was my pride and joy and strength, I know I will never get over it 💔 I am overwhelmed with pain and hurt.. she was such a selfless and loving mother to all her 4 offsprings. God rest and bless her gentle soul.. 🕊️🕊️🕊️🙏
Existence is hard after the loss of my brother. I am struggling so so much.
Your statement is precious, and let's anyone plug in the person they are grieving, thank you for sharing, sorry for your loss ....
Your brother will wish from you to try your best to be happy.
How are you ? Hope you find some peace ❤
I lost my dad and my sister six months ago and I can't express how much painful losing them both in just one month. Sometimes I can't believe that happened. I've been through a lot this year but grieving their death is beyond any pain and loss. Thank you for this video, I feel somehow better after listening to you. What you said is very helpful and touching.
im sorry..lost my Dad last week..my sister in 2015..i love how he said we r built to handle grief
Thank you David for all you do for those grieving a loss. Gary Sturgis - SURVIVING GRIEF
I needed this today. I lost my only brother on May 4, 2023. To add insult to injury, when I called to schedule a session with my therapist of 7 years, I was informed that he had passed as well. It’s now December 2023, and I fell the pain in my heart every single day. These videos are very insightful and helpful. Thank you!
My Condolences to You
For losing Your Beloved Brother.
Also Your Therapist.
May our LORD heal
Your Heart and Emotions.
I am very sorry for you. Take care.
Thank you so much David for this video. You explain things so beautifully and with great wisdom. This has helped me tremendously ❤
Thank you David ❤
This is powerful! Our son died two years ago and I've often felt stuck and wondered why I'm not further along. This gives me permission to feel my grief and not push it away.
I lost my son four years ago. Losing a child is so very devastating, at least for me. I still fight depression, I cry often, and feel he was cheated of his life and love.
My son went home to daddy house last month. I haven’t experienced grief like everyone else. I know he’s with God and Jesus. He was only 21. I can’t bring myself to cry or mourn because I don’t believe in death. I know that Christ lives in us and was in my son. And I spoke of Christ often giving my family that spiritual guidance while alive. None of me or my children have fallen apart. Because I knew that every bit of my understanding and strength literally comes from God. Seek him and he can remove the hurts and pains. There’s nothing wrong with grieving but it takes so much of your time away to live. Live everyday in the moment. Love yourself enough to heal
Grieving happens when there is a big shift in your lifestyle and surroundings. People can be in those surroundings, and when they are gone we grieve of course.
I grieved familiarity when I moved from Florida to California in 2002. I grieved after I graduated college and didn't have the support of my fellow students any more. I grieved for about 2 years when I moved from LA to San Diego. I am still grieving the loss of my job that I loved.
I grieve the patients who have died.
Also note that when you experience a new grief, you mourn all the losses that you've ever had in the past. My therapist brought this to my attention and it makes perfect sense.
How can we know what love and bliss feels like, if we don't know the pain of grief to compare it to? Grieving something means that it was valued whether it was a person, pet, job, home, city, etc.
my friend died from brain cancer in the time of just two weeks... just when her syptoms appeard. we knew each othe only a year but we had a so deepful relationship and we were so much alike. im grieving 4 months now, i dont want to go to our university cause i have so much anger in me and so much sadness. no one gets me, they dont get the pain i feel. they all say just dont be depressed things like this are happening all the time, u cant escape death etc etc. This person was one of the most wonderful and kind persons that i had encountered and she was trying her best to do in life with all the struggles that she had. she is gonna live in my memories forever , her emotions and our moments are still here deep in my heart. my grieving says that she was the most sweet girl and that my love for her is still alive even in an different way. i may fail in the university but i cant stand going there with everyone acting like nothing happened.
what you feel is normal, lots of love.
Although my grief comes from a break up I still feel that I have to learn how to go from being in love with him, to finding a way to love him in his absence and move forward.
I am at a loss of what to do as I navigate a divorce from 25 years of amazing, blessed memories. She has moved on, in a new relationship with a married man, she is a home wrecker twice and still will not accept any fault for the ruin of ours. I can't seem to move on, like I fell in the river and it's not moving.
This is the second time I have listened to this video and I am so glad to be able to access your teaching! My wife died 17 months ago and I was beginning to beat myself up for not being further along. I love the analogy of the river. It helps make more sense out of this painful journey. I know God is using you, David, as he has been for many years. I take hope in knowing that all of this pain can be used for a good purpose in helping others! May God continue to work through you, and all of us who are traveling this road!
my wife passed not 2021. i did not know this level of sadness existed
my partner died of cancer. 6 months ago. Our relationship was only 4 years old but it was very special and came along later in our lives, the best one I've ever had. People around me think I should be moving on, that it will help me but the idea of doing that only makes me feel disloyal to him and I fear time will diminish what we had. What do you tell yourself about this?
My mother in law died Mother’s Day then the next day I found my partner dead in bed ,he has a big family but they don’t want to help….and there is soooo much more,I’m about to leave for the funeral homenow😢australi a
@@cristinaevans139 I' m so sorry for your losses. Grief is love with nowhere to go. Be strong and when it's over let the grief drive for as long as it wants to get a little exercise in the mornings to shake off the dark night, stay busy when you can even if it's mindless work & remember to be around people when it feels right, even if you just go to the movies sometimes. I lost my partner 7 months ago & that's what's helping me.
@@cristinaevans139I ❤️🙏
Grieving for my mother that is still alive
I lost my mum 10 months ago, and listening to you has helped me to understand and to go at my own pace I unfortunately am stuck in shock and numbness still, but thank you
David Kessler I'm sure many people find some peace in following your video and books on grief.
Just let me assure you speaking from the heart of a mother that has lost a beautiful son x who is Loved beyond words ❤️ x .
From 2021 my whole world fell apart every cell in body hurts every second of everyday.
Still the same there's never a day i want to wake up.
This is different grief the pain is cruciating every second of everyday.
There's no words no books out there that can really help if you haven't had a young or older child transitioned David Kessler you HAVEN'T got the slightest idea what it really feels like i don't care how many people you have interviewed unless you are walking in the shoes of us parents who are trying to survive this.
And to be honest i really don't want to survive this.
This pain is forever because grief is Love and i will Love ❤️ my son x forever x
This is one so unfair world why is it always the good ones that are taking and wicked people left to live their lives to the full
May be answe that because I would love to know.
I’m sorry for your loss. David also lost his son. Sending you love.
I lost my older sister April 2017 and then my younger sister and best friend July 2022. Both of my sisters were only 38 years old when they passed suddenly. Life now feels empty, and everything seems to have lost its color, taste and meaning. Its been almost 2 years since my beautiful little sister died but lately I have been absolutely falling apart. I have episodes of grief where I sob to the point of becoming mute and unable to speak. A large part of me died with my sisters and its hard knowing who I am now that they're no longer here.
This video was so validating though and when you said "grief is a reflection of a connection that has been lost" I feel like if I can just find a way to reconnect with my sisters the grief will lessen and I can keep loving them without the pain that comes along with it. ❤
😢😢beautiful👌💐Mr Kessler...😢😢For Teaching Me A Great Lesson of My Life. . . 😢😢❤
"We spoke in tears for fifteen years
How the dog and him
They travelled about.
His dog up and died.
He up and died.
After twenty years he still grieves."
Jerry Jeff Walker
Having gone through so much loss , mother passed when i was a child so learnt to grow without parents , I believe we have to make a pact with ourselves, we have to grieve but we have to get back up and carry on living ...when people pass they go to another spiritual plane ..energy is eternal it changes it's physicality so that's hard not see them , Life is a gift we must understand that a loved one will always want our happiness and we have to become a whole in ourselves we need to keep going towards dreams , grieve but don't forget to live & love is eternal don't close yourself off from it ❤
I’ve never heard anyone speak about grief so gracefully and beautifully.
This is a gorgeous talk - thank you for producing and sharing it.
Thank you for talking to me❤
Thank you. Still grieving the many losses that come from a divorce after a year. Thank you for this info. Thought I was in trouble, but now I know it is okay. Not fun, but okay. Thank you!
Thank you for this. My mom was only 49 when I lost her and it was sudden. It's been 7 years ago and it's been hard to get over. I have said all the negative "why can't I get over this" to myself. But my mom was- is an amazing mother. She was taken too young and unexpected. I have had to get out of this on my own.
how did you get out?
@didu2689 I hit rock bottom. Worked 50 hours a week at a dead end job to ignore the pain and it almost killed me. It took my health downhill until I had to face my pain. The pain took physical form that I couldn't ignore any longer. I lost my job and had chronic health issues. I had to get into therapy and find work from home to survive. Through a crapload of therapy, lucking out that I got on medicaid from falling to the bottom, and working on myself in therapy, I am getting myself back up and feeling better. It's taken several years and a lot of life changes. But I'm stubborn and am doing it.
This video helps. My sweet Dad passed away 6 months ago and it was so hard and painful. I am still crying a lot, though it.s getting a little less frequently. Knowing early grief can last 2 years helps. How come everyone else sees fine and I still want to stay home and burro into the couch. I agree that our grief needs to be seen and recognized being in a grief grouonhas helped but I might start therapy. Though that just brings up so much emotion.. I believe my grief will bring me healing if I let it
I lost my Mother when l was 18, that was 37 years ago.
I wasn't allowed to grieve nor express any emotions. I have struggled with Depression ever since.
My Counsellor said that l might need Specialist Grief Counselling.
It sounds pathetic but l still feel very alone without my Mother. Situation is exacerbated by my ambivalent feelings towards her too. I loved her, and hated her cuz she over protected me, didn't see me as a separate person, made me very dependent.
She, and my family decided to not tell me that her Cancer was terminal, yet l found her dead
I feel it's really fucked my life up
I hope i can make changes to live a happier, healthier and more productive life xx
Thank you so mucb your message is so comforting i just lost my mom grandma other family and just found out the father of my child died age 42 wishing everyone love comfort as well
so spot on,my grief takes longer when
people ask me to go on.
When I was 8-9yo my father went away to visit family and died in another country to never come back. It broke my mother completely. They had both terrible childhoods and I suffered total neglect as a result which the loss burned into my soul forever. We did not speak about it…went on with our life hoping to get some distance…somehow we made It just another „Tuesday“…
My very existence never came to be. I m inanimate. Not human. All that happend made me turn away from life. I became the monument of shame and guilt. I became a shadow…
After 30 years how does one connect to the emotions of it all? It’s all so strange…
Thank you ❤ I lost my mother unexpectedly in April. This is extremely helpful. 🙏🏼
My father passed April 2022 as well 🙏🏼💚
@@celestialblissfulness ❤️❤️❤️
My beautiful sister Marie went home to source in April also - xxx - we loved each other - that’s what I hold dear!!!
I’m so very, very sorry for the loss of your mother. My deepest condolences to you and you are in my prayers.
Your talk about grief was very helpful to me I lost my son of 57 years, we very close and I was his caretaker for 7 years. And I am having a very hard time. You talk about the stick in te river was helpful. Leo the end about feeling our grief and why is it tellin us .
Thank you. I’m still triggered by things I joined my husband to his friends service who passed and was overwhelmed with grief crying when I saw all the people that showed up and the pictures and a movie on his life. My mother had just me at the funeral home no celebration but I connected instantly with his mom at the service and we exchanged numbers. I will do anything to support her in her loss knowing how hard it is for me. I didn’t sleep through the night after that trigger I woke up crying in the middle of the night. Happiness isn’t here yet I pray one day to have happy moments. I find the I tube forum so supportive. People here understand my struggle thank you for your support. It means a lot because I had no support. That leaves a void. 😢
Thank you!!.. for mentioning that Grief is anything you are connected to, and different to us as fingerprints. My loss of my career job, has destroyed me!!, months later,.. im still suffering deeply for my loss. Thank you.. 🙏
Such great video. I could understand it as my tears dropped unstoppable.
Great content, to those grieving lots of love and compassion from a fellow griever
..by far and I mean FAR, THE best monologue on grief I have listened to and I've pretty much heard them all. Words coming from experience both subjective and objective, felt and heard alike. Thank you.
One of the best videos of grief I’ve seen. This needs to be viewed by everyone.
Thank you for this video and your words🙏
"Doesn't mean you have to grief in pain" 2 years I was wondering if I am ever going to get better, after hearing you say it is "early grief" I felt relieved. 10 years...lost him to another woman, my son lost his girlfriend to another guy at the same time and I was doing double grief "complicated grief" because every Mom wants her son happy. My grief wants me to know that I truly did everything I could.
I'm so glad you told the howdy story, it caused me to laugh--"I'm not a howdy person... . " Up to that point I was in tears. Everything you spoke about resonated with me. It has been four years since a series of major losses occurred in my life and I am still tender in those spots. I can say that it was about 3 years after the last devastating event before I felt I was getting my footing. It is so true that every hurt craves a benevolent witness (I forgot the author of that saying), and the story about everyone moving something after someone dies. I remember when my nana died. I looked around and thought how can the music still play, how can people keep doing. I wanted everyone and everything to stop.
Thank you Commune for putting this video out there.
Early grief.
Mature grief.
My grief needs to be witnessed... needs to be seen...
Thank you for your much needed content. I'm too exhausted to try to repeat the complicated grief situation I'm in right now...
This is the best discusión of grief I’ve heard. Thank you.
absolutely, the '5 stages' non-sense elsewhere needs to be debunked entirely as it confuses and hurts people
@melaniefong8211 5 stages definitely threw me off for real. I'm just beginning to get some clarity on my grief and it has been a year since my mom passed.
@@ntitus3025 🙏
A thoroughly wonderful video - thank you for this David - if my grief could speak to me I think it would say 'let it all out' no matter how stupid, weak and sad that may look to outsiders - I'm taking my partner's ashes to be released on Mt Vesuvius overlooking the Bay of Naples - he would have like that - bless and thank you
Thank you for your understanding and compassion.
I lost my husband of 54 years a year and 2 months ago. I function but with tears every day..for a few minutes.
I knew?he would probably pass before me but his death was 6 days after a cancer diagnosis and he had congestive heart failure and diabetes for a long time. We were fortunate to have a long good life together. Loss is deep within me. What can I say? Pick up the pieces and do the best I can to keep going on.
My grief is not from lost.I cry every day for 40 years because i need love and i didnt find it until now so it is not lost because i never had love and this is reason of my grief.....so i dont agree that grief is only lost....it is not only lost...it is also loning for something what is blocked for you in life like love fore me.
Plz enjoy life.love urself.nourish urself.
So much awesome! Will use this to share. I try to tell people some of this but I'm not the best with words. All the things I've learned the hard way over the years. Grief will be different with each loss, even deaths. They effect us differently but also we are different people. One of the things I do try to tell people is that the only thing you can do wrong with grief is to repress it. Although addiction is something we should also avoid.
Dear David. I’ve only just read this and you recorded it a year ago.... I lost my brother 32 years ago and I still grieve for him. We were very very close. I talk to him often and tell him what’s going on and also stories of things that are going on. B
Just over 10 years ago I lost the only man I have ever loved. I still grieve. I miss him terribly. I still love him absolutely and am not interested in anyone else. As with my brother, I talk to him all the time too. I feel his presence. I feel he is waiting for me. I’m coming my beautiful man.❤️❤️🌹🙏🏽
At least you understand, you are warm, kind and appreciated, thank you
My grief wants me to know that I will examine the complications throughly and committedly.
This was so helpful to hear…now I realize that I have been “an island of grief” for a year and a half.
What a wonderful video to put out. I am 11-months into this hell called grief. This one video helped me, actually helped me. Thank you.
🙏Thank you SO much Dr. Kessler. You've mentioned something no one has said about Grief. I'm hurting so bad. I lost my long time career job, and I miss everything about it.! My coworkers, my job itself, workplace, social interactions, the busses I drove, etc.. Im in always pain. The pain in my chest... and constant sadness of knowing I cannot return. I've lost interest in my life,... My family, friends, neighbors want me to " let go, move on " ... but, im unable. I cannot Snap-out of this. Life is continuing, yet im not involved. Thank you for understanding, my loss is real.
. Deepest thanks for these words of kindness and wisdom. 🧡
Thank you for being a part of my grieving process as I am going through it I love this channel
Sometimes grief in a relationship is a hard one. Feels like someone you loved passed away. Learning to move on now that you accept the relationship is over. Hurts but just has to be done for you.!!
I lost my grandmother my most loving maternal uncle very dear to me. My of my dreams we were going to marry past 13 years relationship ended abruptly his parents ended our wedding. Its been a long time can't get over the grief
Omg i can give you a big hug because i feel just like that need some one to listen but there no one .
My father passed away at 92 years old this october 1st 2024. I grew up and spent each and everyday with him up until his last breath. At my 34 years of age, It still feels unreal and i'm still hoping that this is all just a bad dream everytime i go to sleep. nothing is the same without him and it fuckin hurts so much.
Yeah I lost my girl Oct 11th I'm broke up right now
You are so calm