@@ariellajasmine these days that’s becoming less common. My parents won’t put a penny towards any wedding I or my sibling might have, and most of my friends have had minimal financial gifts from their parents as well.
@@ariellajasmine Imo that's a bit outdated and mainly for quite well-off families. In my extended family (including aunts, uncles and grandparents) I can't think of anyone who had parents paying. Although saying that, my gran did have a wannabe photographer friend who took my parents' wedding photos for free.
I had a themed wedding with Renaissance attire and encouraged it as a "dress code" but not mandatory. Majority of the people came in their awesome costumes and a tiny handful wore a suit or dress. It was great and everyone remembers my wedding :) Even the priest thought it was hilarious!
That's awesome. I for one love going to themed weddings and have no problems with conforming to their stated dress code beforehand. If it was stated that it was going to be a white tie event then that's what guests should do! Not just bitch about it beforehand and then still RSVP anyway. The guests here are the aholes in my own opinion. The groom and bride told guests numerous times about the dress code and it just seems like the guests don't care at all about what the couple actually wants. You don't expect someone to show up to prom wearing jeans and a t-shirt would you? No of course not. Also one of my friends had a ren faire/celtic wedding and it was so much fun seeing everyone in Faire clothes! :)
A friend of mine got married AT the Renaissance Festival. Had a harp player and everything, got a blessing from "The Queen" ngl I was kinda jealous(my wedding was a small courthouse deal) but I was still so happy for her. She deserved it.
My 2 cents on the white tie wedding. I'm a black South African woman so at most black weddings here people will almost always dress to the nines. With that said if couples specify a dress code for the day of normally people will dress as close to the dress code as they possibly can. The most important thing for us is that the couple gets married and the guests enjoy the wedding. In my opinion the groom may not be a groomzilla for their dress code however he and his fiancée are being a bit inconsiderate. They aren't thinking of the elderly guests, those who may have medical issues and financial issues amongst other things. They're going to end up having only half the guests they invited actually attend. They may want to loosen up a little. As for the last one that groom and his family are racist/prejudiced to Africans that's for sure. I'm just sad she had to be subjected to that.
I think the difference is that you realize people will dress as close as possible to the dress code (and still be dressed to the nines) but you wouldn’t call them out for doing the best they could if it wasn’t spot on.
I thought a wedding was a celebration of love and commitment? I respect their decision to have such a formal wedding but I would have to decline. I want to celebrate their love, classy but comfortably.
@@precisionfrequency Exactly! I understand they want people to dress up but it is ONE day! I would not want to spend a lot of money for someone else's wedding as a guest. The dresses and tuxes that white tie attire requires it not cheap. I would just say formal and floor-length dress/skirts.
It is possible for the last one that it's not about the Kente print. It's probably because the dress design, maybe very tight with very open shoulder, kinda 'revealing'? Usually, conservative Christians complain about it, regardless race.
To be fair to the ‘white tie’ couple, I attended a white tie masquerade charity event and it was incredibly impressive. All the men in tails and the women in gowns was stunning. (We also wore masks, but that’s irreverent). Certainly not something I expect to do again but I’ll always remember that night.
I love white tie events and go to a couple a year. I also understand that most ppl A) don’t know what that means and B) may not have hundreds to thousands of dollars to spend on their outfit for a single day, on top of expensive gifts and travel expenses.
And also, they made it clear in the invitations..like this wasn't a surprise or something to the guests. So while they're being a little stiff and stubborn, it's not like the guests weren't informed ahead of time.
@@sparkiebunnie8 they're being stubborn and assholes in the sense of having absolutely no lee way for the dress code. The cocktail dress was a fair no in my opinion. However They're really going to have an issue with a woman going from heels to flats for the reception ???
Yeah, his family are 100% Confederates. Like who else would get offended by an African woman wearing a beautiful traditional piece of clothing from her own country? The heck? His ancestors most definitely had slaves, and he definitely sounds like one of those people who still flies a Confederate flag.
@@zitronentee Without seeing the dress we'd have no way of knowing. A Kente dress can be as long or as short as any western dress. It could have been floor length for all we know. Honestly, either way the groom's family is wild.
I'm glad that lady ditched expensive diamond ring guy. We're all having a laugh about it, but elements of that story make me suspect he'd have been an extremely controlling and abusive partner. Telling his wife-to-be that her parents "might not even be invited." What a bellend! xD
yeah he sounded like a bit of a thoughtless buttwipe before but "your parents might not be invited" was red flags all over the place, especially in addition to using her credit cards and owing her money.
Yeah, definitely controlling and abusive. I've been in a psychologically and emotionally abusive relationship and this sent up so many warning flags and reminders.
While I agree a dresscode that strict is kinda silly, they did inform their guests about it in advance.. I'd say the same about childfree weddings, so I'm gonna have to say that OP was not in the wrong, even though I personally think it's a bit silly.
Yeah. I think his expectations are out of whack -- if his wedding isn't an inclusive celebration for friends and family, then accept that and plan for it -- but I give him points for being honest and up front.
I agree with the clothing but no tattoos/piercings/expecting people to dye their hair is a huge joke to me. That's like the people who don't allow pregnant people to come to their wedding.
No dress codes are expensive and usually end up costing the person money they can't really afford and few brides or grooms ever offer to pay for it either, it's just one day, and no it's not worth it
@@ambereyedbabygirl Don't see why piercings would be a problem but it's understandable that very colorful dyed hair or tattoos would stand out too much if they really want a super formal wedding picture. If people are into that it's their choice (even tho photoshop is an option if they care about it so much). Thinking of what kind of tattoos some people have and what color disorientation happens on people's heads it's definitely acceptable asking them to wear long sleeves and try out a less expressive hair color for the picture if they want to be there. On the other hand, refusing pregnant people or expecting high priced wedding gifts are disrespectful af, it's not like you can just quickly change your life situation for a wedding.
"I've seen bigger", I bet he used to hearing that. The way he was so fixated on people knowing it was an expensive ring, clearly shows he compensating for something.
I get the “white tie” thing, to an extent. Just like going to any event, when you agree to a dress code, you have agreed. I’ve bartended quite a few black tie and white tie events, and there is usually someone at the door to check. Idk, I wouldn’t care if someone showed up in sweats to my event, but I still kind of understand. It is their money and time. 🤷🏼♀️
Same. It's not something I would do for my wedding but they were pretty clear and upfront about it from the very beginning. I wouldn't go so far as to shame them or be angry at them for wanting this.
@@-Devy- I completely agree. It isn’t my style, nor attitude on such things, for sure, but I also wouldn’t spend as much on an event as some spend on their weddings. All of that is insane to me, but I definitely enjoy them when I’m at someone else’s. Lol. If I wanted to attend something like that with a dress code, I would make sure I understood it fully before RSVPing. Again, it isn’t my money. Plus, it’s so fun to get all formal for an evening. Not sure why it would matter to anyone that already agreed.
@@sophiemonasterio1508 yes, I agree if for no other reason than that some folks have too many tattoos to hide or in places that can’t be covered and can’t very well be expected to get them all removed with a laser or something. I love all kinds of hair colors - the brighter and more creative the better, but I guess I can see that this couple want a specific “look” for their wedding and are fine with leaving out those with visible tattoos and colorful hair and anyone else who can’t populate their wedding photos, etc.
You have the right to be mad. You have the right to feel however you feel. If you want to get along with other humans you have to feel your own feelings and _also_ consider other people's feelings and use reason when you choose your actions.
@Gus BSB: Just because you might not have married the right person doesn't mean that everyone has the same experience. I've known people for whom it is one of the best things they've ever done, and others for whom it has been one of the worst mistakes of their life. I guess it all depends on which head the groom uses to make the decision.
I love the “give her snacks rule” lmao 😂 I love this more because a BIG reason my SIL picked her wedding dress (besides it being beautiful) was because it HAD POCKETS! We all agreed this was perfect to hide snacks lmao 😂
Hey, I don't blame her! It's criminal how much of women's clothing don't have pockets! It's already hard enough to find pants with pockets, let alone dresses and skirts. Meanwhile, my husband has pockets galore in all his clothes.
The one who wanted to send bitter thank you cards to people who didn't pony up a gift is just typical of way too many couples now. They want to have a huge party and then have guests give them enough in gifts to offset the cost and pay for their honeymoon, too, I guess. How about paying for what you can afford, letting guests give gifts they can afford, and being decent people?
My husband and I were married in our mid 30s... We were just so happy to be getting married that we threw a kickass black tie wedding because all we wanted was a great party with family and friends. Our only deal breaker was that we did not want babies at the wedding ceremony. (AND we paid for babysitting care at the reception for those who really wanted to bring their kids...nice of us, huh?) Truth be know we borrowed from ourselves (took out money from our 401k plans) In the end most of the cash gifts went towards "paying" ourselves back I guess though this was not our intent. And spoiler alert my older bro ad sil were furious because they thought that my Dad and Step Mom had paid for the wedding despite us telling them that that was not true
One friend asked if she could cater as her gift...YES!, another offered to sew my dress if I bought the fabric, patterns and notions...YES! another made my cake as a gift YES! I made my own decorations, Husband made the table wine and FIL paid the bar tab. Whole thing total was under 5000 dollars and was one hell of a party.... Didn't even have a registry, we had a fully equipped household already, no gifts required.
By the sounds of it they didn't even bring a card which is kind of rude. I understand that people can't afford big gifts, but most people include smaller gifts and again a card shows that you care even if you don't have a lot of money.
Several times people I barely know have invited me to their wedding. It was pretty clear they were fishing for pricey gifts. I write them a little note accepting their invitation, but add that since I don’t know them well enough to chose a really meaningful gift, I am making a generous donation to a charity in their name (receipt for donation attached.). Then I go the wedding, eat everything in sight, and drink my body weight in cab sauv. (No, I’m not a loud, messy, or obnoxious drunk, just mildly happy and no trouble to anyone.)
I take a subcutaneous injection of blood thinner everyday due to a clotting condition. I like to distract myself with something on my phone. I recently discovered your channel and now am usually watching you when I sit down to administer, and though I try to be really still and careful I alwAys end up shaking with laughter. It takes me easily twice or three times as long to inject and my stomach is now covered in bruises. But it’s still worth it.
@@inavahbulhgnis5113 oh I’m fine!! Hahaha 😝 super used to injecting. I’m just so careful when I do my shots so as not to cause bruising, because it’s not good to inject Dalteparin into a bruise, which can take up to a week to disappear. I know this and yet keep sitting down, putting on a Charlotte video, and preparing my injection. The ridiculousness of my self imposed suffering is making me laugh 😂
I know how u feel. I have 2 take a sub cue injection for the opposite reason. My blood is 2 thin. Ice helps the bruising go away sooner sometimes. Plz Stay Sweet, Stay Safe & Take Care Out There
I kind of agree with the dress code ones. People pay a lot for their weddings and they have themes that they pay for and would like the guests to participate. I think there are a LOT of entitled guests when it comes to weddings. For our wedding, I wanted everyone to wear costumes because it was meant to be Halloween themed, some people contacted me and told they straight up "would not do that", mind you I had already changed the venue from a beautiful farm to my backyard because people complained that the one hour drive to the farm was too much to expect. 😒 So when they complained about the costumes my husband and I agreed to make costumes optional and that everyone could just wear fall colors. Hosting a wedding in my backyard, became pricier by the minute, more expensive than it would have been at the farm with their caterer and a photographer. I had a family member offer to take the photos and then they never showed up, all I have of my wedding now are cell phone pics and Polaroids from a camera we had at home. Most people didn't even show up in Fall colors. They essentially just wore whatever the fuck they wanted. On top of that, people complained about the way we did the wedding, in our backyard and a venue that was five minutes away because it looked so cheap regardless of all of it costing me almost $5000. I originally didn't want alcohol at my wedding since my family has a few recovering alcoholics and I didn't want them to feel uncomfortable during the night. After complaints made by my husband's side and his friends and his insisant begging I got alcohol. My husband also bought two kegs. There's was a lot to choose from. Yet, my husband's friends took it upon themselves to bring more alcohol and sneak it into the venue. They got wasted, threw centerpieces at my mother, vomited all over the floor in the bathroom and almost cost me my deposit on the venue. My Dad cleaned it up for an hour. Then my new sister in law kept complaining about our wedding playlist and how it wasn't fun enough. We had like 7 young people at the wedding, most were older family members and very conservative and things had already gotten out of hand and they were leaving. My new sister in law snatched my phone out of my hands and changed the music in front of me. At that point I had enough, the groom was drunk, my parents were overworked and so I just got mad and quiet and that's how I spent my wedding night. So to an extent, I do think that you need to be a bit of a control freak and it's ok to demand a few things on your wedding day, and I think something as small as a dress code should be held in place. If someone can't respect something as small as a dress code, they probably won't respect your wedding either.
The problem is when people ask for “white tie” with very little to no knowledge of what it entails and think it’s just “very chic”. White tie events come with huge responsibilities from the hosts toward the guests and 90% of people having “white tie” weddings have no idea.
I get that but I can also understand it being just the party, I never heard of a dress code for the guests. That really sucks I would have lost it & I'm the lowest maintenance person you could meet lol
God, I'm so sorry to hear that. Of course you were upset - it's YOUR big day and no one could suck it up for 2 minutes to just be happy for you. I hope you have it better now though!
@@gabieldenstierna Thank you. ♥️ Unfortunately that seems to be the new theme of weddings. I think weddings should consist ONLY of people who want to support and love you and if I were to give advice to any would be bride, that would be it. Don't worry about inviting people to spare their feelings, if you don't feel like you want them there or you think they'll be trouble, you're probably right, and it's your day. Invite the people who want to see you at ease and happy that day. Those who make your life easier. And yes, things have gotten much better, especially with the sister. We have a decent relationship now, but none of it would have ever happened if I hadn't started speaking up for the respect I felt I deserved. Something else I've learned after all these years - if they really care about you, they'll listen to how you feel and they won't get pissed at you for having those feelings. So, if someone has a problem with you or your choices or what have you, especially on your wedding day, they don't really care about YOU.
Regarding the groomzilla with the “white tie“ dress code, it sounds like he made it known well in advance so that those who could not comply would know not to RSVP to the wedding. While I personally feel the point of a wedding is to celebrate with family and friends, if their goal is to have a fancy-schmancy shindig, that is absolutely their right. If people knew the dress code prior to sending in their RSVPs, then later want to not comply with it, that sounds like they are being the problem, not the groom.
They are only assholes if most of their friends/family can’t afford it- then they’re being inconsiderate... we don’t know the financial situation- if they’re all millionaires then it’s fair, otherwise not so much.
The white tie guy was a groomzilla but he’s an honest one, laying out all the clauses in his invitation. Guests’ choice to deal with it or not. Don’t most tell people what they want regardless of how unreasonable?! Lol
That wasn't groomzilla at all I fear. Everyone would be calling it quirky and fun if the theme was star wars or something. People who won't comply to a theme but still wanna attend a thing are so annoying
I tend to agree. I've gone to many normal weddings, but I've always declined the ones where there was something about it I didn't like. I've declined to go to "destination weddings". I've declined to go to a wedding held two days before Christmas. I would decline to go to a white tie event wedding. The couple was up-front about it and allowed people to decline without penalty. Accepting with those conditions and then either going against them or pressuring the couple to relax the code is bad behavior on the guest part.
I agree. I don’t really feel this was a groomzilla. Just a very strict wedding that they were upfront about. I would probably decline to go myself just cause of the costs for clothes for that kind of event but they are right in that they get to choose how they want their wedding. They weren’t even being that harsh about it really. It’s a tough call here but I would go with them not being assholes and people who accepted the invite then cried about the dress code being in the wrong. But since we only have this one post to go off of it is hard to really place anything. But yeah. Their wedding their rules. Their money.
Well, if it’s more important to them to have a formal event than to have a bunch of friends and family with them for the occasion, more power to them. It seems to me that they want to have a glamorous, gala-type event and if that’s their dream, they have every right to enforce the dress code. I think if they are surprised that family and friends are asking to be able to attend the wedding in less formal attire, or are declining to attend, they need a reality check. I expect that they will employ some sort of door attendant or bouncer to turn anyone who shows up looking too casual. For me and my spouse, it was all about the people we love being there for our wedding, and our wedding was casual as a result. People dressed up a little, but we would not have turned away anyone we invited as a result of their attire. Different strokes for different folks.
@@eskimberly7424 To be fair, it seemed like two older women didn't want to follow the restricted clothing choices. Everyone else - including the loved ones - didn't have an issue with it or had already gotten their stuff ready for it, so they'd have their people there. Maybe those two were just the usual entitled family members you invite because you never hear the end of it if you don't. We don't know their family structure.
Lol, I'd love it if people wore traditional clothes from countries they lived at/have a heritage in to my wedding. Traditional clothes are so much more interesting and often way more beautiful then the off-the-hook fashionable dresses/suits. If we ever decide to get married, I'll totally tell people they are more then welcome to show off their traditional gowns.
I attended a baptism once where the parents' extended family traveled from Nigeria for the ceremony and wore absolutely gorgeous traditional clothing. I'll never forget how beautiful that ceremony looked.
I think a white tie wedding is a little much for my garbage can taste however if that’s what they want you to wear then that’s what you wear. It’s their wedding. Dress up or don’t go.
Yes but this thing they want to attend isn't just some for fun optional casual party it's the matrimony of their loved ones, something very significant. Sure if you're just a friend maybe it is just like a party and you can weigh the options but close relatives such a the parents, siblings, and aunts/uncles of the bride and groom do not have that luxury. It's also not just dressing up, it's far too strict! They are asking people to hide or change their identity as a human being (hair color, piercings, tattoos), be physically and probably emotionally uncomfortable (Unable to change out of pain shoes after, all girls must wear not only a dress which some will not be okay with to begin with but the same style regardless of body type), and take on financial strain (Formal floor length gowns and tuxedos is not something the average person will just have in their closet) just so they can have "good" photos regardless on if they actually hold any real positive memories! That's having a wedding for the WRONG reasons.
@@jojogreengames not to mention, those white tie clothes will never be wearable again!! Imagine buying a nice floor length dress and heels for one occasion... rich person brain is disgusting... I’m not dropping an additional $200-400 on top of gifts on anyone’s wedding, not even my family...
I'm there for it in theory, but I'm such a picky bitch, I would end up denying 90% of the offerings. Like, no chocolate less than Lindt or Ghirardelli, no funyuns or 'ranch', no snack cakes or fruit pies, etc.
While I may agree that the important part about a wedding is sharing it with those whom you want to share in your happiness. The guests were fully aware of the dress code when RSVPing, and as such can hardly complain now when being held to it.
Im a half white/black dude and I was dating this girl in highschool for like 8 months or so. But, i went to hang with her family for the first time. (they invited us to a lake out here in NM) to hang out and bbq. So i go all the way out to the middle of no where, somthin like 2 hour drive from the city. There we all are, her dad, her mom, uncle and a couple of her mom and dads friends. We get to shooting the sh*t talking about this and that and after the sun went down and it was like midnight, we are sitting around the fire and the chat starts to die down a bit. So i decide to make some conversation, ya know, small talk. I ask - "so what do you guys like do do out here for fun" Her dad and friends get real quiet and look off onto the lake as they casually respond, (friend of dad) - "oh, this and that. mostly we like to shoot can's'" Im like, "ahh, so you guys can go shooting out here? thats cool. What do you guys just set the cans up on a ledge and *boom boom* ?" I was nervouse lol trying to seem interested even though i wasnt rly into shooting. So after i made the comment the dad adds in " Naw, we like to shoot 'afriCANs, mexiCANS and....*the rest of the group breaks out it laughter*" ..I dont know if they knew i was half black or if they were joking or not, but i can remember desperatly trying to fake a laugh befor i excused myself from the fire as inconspicuously as i could. I remember sitting in the camper feeling terrified and ashamed that my girlfriend didnt say anything.
@@thefifthaceassociation My ex used to tell that horrible joke, along with half my family in Texas. I left Texas 20 years ago, for good. Most of them stopped talking to me and unfriended me on FB 5 years ago, on the day I posted a selfie wearing a t-shirt with a pic of Bernie Sanders smiling and hugging a cat. I got a few IMs calling me a "communist" and one from a cousin saying I'm "dead to her". The shirt had no words on it, just that cute pic.
Weddings are a colossal waste of money and a stressor no one needs. Get married privately then go on an epic honeymoon. 💥 Drama free and a wonderful start to a marriage.
Or, have a small ceremony and don't invite too many guests. Also, the bride and groom should understand that the wedding means something to them and the few closest to them. To others, it is an occasion to meet up and party.
Exactly. Plus after 3 yrs or less they are going to realize the wedding was too expensive and now they're broke. Nobody ever asks about their wedding pictures because they look as boring as it was. Go cheap.. take hilarious photographs or vacation, wedding dress hilarity pics. Ppl will always want to find out the story and hear a fun time plus what cool person you were.
My mom does tax preparation as a hobby (IKR?). So she ran the numbers and figured out that if my SO and I got married before the end of the year we’d get a MUCH bigger tax return. Total mathematical manipulation, but… had a quick wedding in Children’s Court (not a pedo… judge was family friend 😬) on dec 27, then a week long honeymoon in New Orleans the following April. I’m told it was totally worth it! 🥳🤢😶🌫️
That's similar to what my parents did. I have a picture of their "wedding". They're in flannel and jeans cutting a beautiful wedding cake while friends and family (also dressed super casual) are in the background. They had gone and signed the papers the day prior with their witnesses and that was it.
White southern family with “traditional views” doesn’t like African dress? I’m guessing they’d prefer the traditional view of OP working the fields. 🙄 If they bring up tradition again, I’d remind them it’s ~her~ tradition.
Yeah, I love how they use the euphemistic code words “traditional values” to literally say, “my family and I are racist and we don’t appreciate you bringing any of your non white culture to our wedding.” Oh, and I forgot the additional code words “from the South.” It makes me wonder how many white Southerners are shaking their heads every time another white Southerner willfully promotes that stereotype.
My friend is Nepalese and always wears a sari for formal dress. She is usually the prettiest dressed guest there. Wearing traditional formal clothing from your birth country actually honors the hosts. You are looking your best out of respect for them and the occasion.
The white tie guy isn't the a-hole since they were crystal clear about it from the beginning. Dress code wouldn't be my #1 priority for my wedding personally but it clearly is for theirs and they have the right to make their vision a reality.
If they’re not all millionaires then I think he’s being an asshole... if everyone can afford it, no problem- if they’re not able to afford it, it’s like saying choose my event or your budget. Entitled and inconsiderate
The problem for me is the bitterness and lack of understanding that their loved ones may not be able to afford such luxury. It’s fine to have a very high standard if that’s what you want, but you also have to realize that family and friends may not be able to attend, and that kinda sucks for everyone. Like imagine your wedding where your grandma can’t be there but all your douchey college bros are. To each his own I guess.
I mean honestly, finding cheap elegant clothing isn't that hard now anyways. I bought a formal gown for $50 online and it ended up being beautiful and I love it.
@@HannahCobana I love shopping thrift. I have almost completely avoided retail for two years straight. I’m fairly handy at sewing and have worn a few thrifted and tailored dressed to less formal weddings. I would be hesitant to do it for a couple like this for fear of being denied entry or embarrassed at the wedding. Hell, he sounds like the type of dude to make a fb post about how people wore “tAcKy UsEd cLoThInG” at his uppity affair. No thanks.
I have a feeling people rsvp’d without realising that white tie meant dressing up like Downton Abbey formal events. The shoe comment puzzled me though, because there are lovely formal flats that would be appropriate
If somebody wanted me to wear white tie without being nobility oder CD, I would certainly ask, if they understood the implications. There are a lot of misconceptions, because white tie is not only a suit or a long evening gown, but entails for example no cut-outs, no open backs, and at the very least shoulders or arms covered (Stola, sleeves or gloves). That is a lot to ask.
@@mikhellen3267 I know what white tie is, but does the couple? Does the bride understand, that she has reduced her dress options considerably by choosing white tie? Does the couple realise that their guests need a place to change into their evening attire if that wedding starts before 18:00 and that it is their duty to provide it? Do they just want to play dress-up? Do they just wish to implement certain elements of white tie? I would carefully ask before sending a rsvp because there are a lot of misconceptions. Imagine wearing perfectly suitable authentic traditional attire like kimono or kilt and the couple being mortified. I would not risk that.
when I got married I had people giving me dishes, mugs, towels and I STILL own most of those! I LOVE small gifts.. and hey I LOVE homemade gifts as well, as you said it's about people showing up not about what they give! And the dress code thing? I can see both sides of the argument...
So that last one, the groom and family seemed way to invested in someone's dress and not the actual wedding. Like the bride was okay and saw no problem but the groom went out of their way to insult the guest and the family gave dirty looks. Whenever I hear the term “southern values” I think most people knows what that implies. I feel bad for that bride and her family oh boy. His family and groom sound like terrible people.
Absolutely - at this point, whenever I hear someone talk about "Southern Values", I'm almost certain that they mean to say racism or homophobia, but can't explicitly call it that and so defaults to "traditional Southern Values".
@@zaramikazuki8374 100% totally its the traditional aspect. I feel so bad for the person to get such a mean message like that. Especially being called an embarrassment, like what awful person.
@@kimberleywilliams7802 The thing they don't tell you about southern hospitality is that half of it is just being an a-hole in a very polite way often with a smile on your face.
Here's the thing about the White-tie wedding. You can never please people. If you tell them it's a semi-formal or even casual wedding people will bitch. And it's usually the mother-in-laws and in-laws.
Of course it's the mothers-in-law that complain. They're from a generation that always had big traditional weddings, so smaller and more casual weddings are akin to sacrilege in those women's eyes. As far as the other in-laws, they may have been taught that traditional is the only way to go.
Do you know what white tie is? The Golden Globes don't even require white tie. Actual literal royalty does not NORMALLY wear white tie - it's reserved for very special events. No one has white tie clothes lying around in their house, or even at their local formal dress store, because most human beings will NEVER wear it. When was the last time you saw a tailcoat in person? Exactly. Even if by some miracle everyone was actually able to source and afford those clothes, they will literally never wear them ever again.
I think most weddings should stop at black tie unless its a friends groups that attends white tie events so you aren't asking everyone to buy new warddrobe. That said, since the white tie was announced so far ahead that people could plan. So mild a-hole I guess?
I agree. I’d say clueless or sheltered more than a-hole or entitled. I get the feeling they’re from a white tie kinda family so they probably just think it’s normal.
Yes but although they gave notice every loved one hopes to be part of your special day and have probably been thinking about it some time around when they started dating if not before then. It shouldn't be taken away from them nor should they have to jump through hoops and hurdles to attend if they haven't done anything wrong! They are asking people to hide or change their identity as a human being (hair color, piercings, tattoos), be physically and probably emotionally uncomfortable (Unable to change out of pain shoes after, all girls must wear not only a dress which some will not be okay with to begin with but the same style regardless of body type), and take on financial strain (Formal floor length gowns and tuxedos is not something the average person will just have in their closet) just so they can have "good" photos, that's what makes them groom/bridezillas.
@@jojogreengames I'll agree on the hair/tattoos, but white tie isn't inherently terrible when given that much notice - its plenty of time to decide its not an event for you and your budget.
There is a certain amount of etiquette and decorum as a wedding attendee, and the dress code is a part of that etiquette. The hair color & tattoo restriction is a bit much (also, what's wrong with changing into flats? There are plenty of fancy looking flats that should be acceptable for white tie) but if you agree to attend a white tie wedding, I think it's the guest's responsibility to follow the dress code, imho
@@amstreater if I am not mistaken, it was mentioned that even their family had asked them to relax the dress code. So it doesn't look like a white-tie-events family. And white tie is expensive. Tuxes won't do (the groomzilla was wrong there), only tail-coats, and ladies would need gloves covering their arms and real jewellery. That kind of dress code is mostly for the royalty or something like embassy receptions. When common people get to attend such events, they usually rent the attire, because it's way unreasonable to buy one for just one single event.
I recently went to a wedding, and the bride and groom were so lovely. They didn’t really mind what you wore, gifts or anything. In fact, the photographer (not the filmographer) had to go early before they left at 11pm. The bride and groom were so nice and understandable (she had to go to bed as she has other weddings at the weekend also). I thought it was nice of them to let her go early, rather than being like “I paid you to stay the whole time”.
This whole “be grateful you were invited to my wedding” thing is so beyond me because I’m an introvert and going to a wedding is a huge emotional chore for me. So to tell me that I owe you a gift because you provided me food and a DJ and whatever makes no sense to me because most likely all you provided for me was a night of anxiety.
Yes!!!! Im actually loving the covid restrictions because for 2 years, there is no wedding to attend and now that the restrictions has loosen a bit, people still dont have big wedding and people are more understanding if I dont attend
Months after crazy proposal. Him: Why aren’t you planning a wedding? Me: Because I don’t give a f*ck about weddings. Let just get married and get that s**t over with. Him: You’re a girly girl and you don’t want a wedding? Me: I wear girly clothes and like girly things, but wedding are not among them. Besides, you know I am a quiet, introverted, loner. Him: Okay, then why do you keep making me go to weddings? Me: If I have to go, you have to go. Besides, I like free food alcohol and mucic. We went to an all white party in New Orleans on new year’s and eloped. We our “reception” consisted of us walking around New Orleans partying. ❤️⚜️🍾🥂🎉🎊
Wow. It really isn’t about you though? And you have the option to not go. You are incredibly entitled to think you’re doing the bride and groom a favor for showing up. Surprised you still get invited places Luciditi
@@mferrariish good job missing the point that this is about ENTITLED people who ask more than they should from their guests and act like their guests owe them.
I agree with the white tie event story 😅. They could be a little more chill. But then again, nowadays where everyone walks around wearing sports clothes and the first thing they see in their wardrobe, I miss events where people dress up in general. Even to the opera and to church people wear shorts and the likes. I'm west African and it's a given, that my family and friends will look bomb when I will get married, but it may be a cultural thing.
Yes! It drives me crazy when I pull up to the opera and I see people in jeans and tank tops, or shorts and a sweater and a messy bun. Like, you only get a couple of occasions to really dress up, and the opera is one of them. That’s part of the experience. Why wouldn’t you enjoy it and take that chance? This isn’t a movie theater. I understand that not everyone can afford ball gowns and tuxedos, but you can at least put in an effort. Sorry to go on for so long, lol, this is a big pet peeve of mine. 😅
I'm on the side of the dress code couple. They are free to set the dress code for *their* event that *they* are paying for, which is about *them* . I've been in White Tie and Black Tie at charity events and it was so magical, so I get the appeal! However, this couple obviously comes from a social background where their family don't get it, so I think their should really take everyone by the hand and make it super easy for their guests. The dress code should be carefully explained in the invitation (maybe a link to a website or RUclips video tutorial), the couple should probably take their parents shopping and just put them in the clothes they want them to wear, and they should absolutely strike a deal with one or two vendors to supply the whole guestlist! This would make it super convient for everyone: "Thanks to an agreement with XYZ Clothier ltd., all our guests will get 15% off on their White Tie rental if they mention our names at check out." Make it so people not only know what you want, but also where and how to get it. Don't let them look on their own for a White Tie ensemble if they didn't even know what that was five minutes ago.
The only 2 requests my husband had for our wedding were 1) a bubble machine and 2) to wear his Otter in a Dinosaur costume shirt. We rented a bubble machine and had it running for both the ceremony and the reception and he wore his otter dino shirt under his dress shirt. He was so happy. :D
Lol for a moment I went “really she doesn’t know what a white tie event is?” Then I paused, realized I was thinking of a BLACK TIE EVENT and realized I have no idea what that is either
White tie is beyond black tie. Women should wear ball gowns and fancy schmancy cocktail dresses...gloves and tiaras are at home here. Men should wear tuxedos...like the FULL tux...including gloves and tails. Basically, think of the fanciest fanciful dress... royalty style..and there you have it.
"I didn't realize that people kind of expected wedding as kind of this invitation to buy them gifts".... there was an episode of a Norwegian sitcom in the early 2000s where the lead character's sister was always on a date with a new Mr Right or crying because he dumped her. (She was like the comical hopeless romantic) And in one episode she talked about all the gifts one could get at a wedding. "I mean, I do need a new toaster! And an iron. And a..." and she listed off a bunch of things. Her brother (the lead) scoffed and said "OR you could just save up the money and buy'em without getting married to a loser!" (She didn't necessarily want to spend her life with a man, she just wanted a bunch of things and that was the joke XD)
I never heard of a wedding on my country (Brazil) when it's not obligatory to brought a gift o.o. Of course, most people going to give more basic stuff, and normally the newlyweds don't care (most of the lists on the shops are filled with less expensive items, as other few more expensive) as long you brought something for the house, but you need to give something. The couple won't scream at you if you don't, but they and the other guests are gonna be mad and think you are not polite.
@@mangot589 I agree that it's distasteful to see all these brides and grooms complaining about it. Just to play devil's advocate for a moment, though: I wonder if the wedding industry or community tell people planning their weddings to go ahead and splurge a bit because you'll get X amount of money gifted to you so don't worry about it, and then the couple are convinced that wedding guests are obligated to give a certain amount and financial stress after the wedding lowers their threshold for losing their cool. Total guess, I haven't ever participated in planning any wedding.
@@NinaFMoretti Well, you’re supposed to bring a gift. My problem is they tell you how much you should spend. Just like Lily said, the original reason behind gifts was to help a new couple set up housekeeping. That’s why they always mention the ubiquitous toaster. Not so they could flip through glossy magazines and use a wedding as a way to get all their little hearts desire.
awww man i totally have one of these lol . My sister's fiance (now husband) had a hissy and uninvited my husband and me from the wedding when my sister was having a bridezilla moment. Three days later she called me apologizing for him saying "of course you are still invited, one day we will laugh about this ".......... he barely looked us in the eye at the wedding ensuring all future family gatherings will be AWKWARD.
The giy who wrote the aita white tie post isn't wrong he has informed everyone since the beginning and told them they don't have to come if they don't want to fallow the dress code and they are paying for everything. Everyone else who has a problem with it isn't paying for it and acts they weren't told from the beginning so NTA
I sort of agree with you except the changing to flats from heels it's floor length gowns how are you going to notice unless you're staring at people's feet
It's a special day and undoubtedly people should have their dream of that day become a reality but unless you live in a fairy tale book or a rom-com or Disney movie one would think you'd be realistic and flexible to a certain degree and if you can't then ya don't get to be shocked or play victim when you end up with handful of people at your wedding I mean it's you special day it's just a day to the guests lol
Totally agree. A white tie event is ultra formal. Full stop. The changing of the shoes is fine too imho due to gown length. That said, I think it would depend on the group of friends and family one has whether it is in poor taste to even plan such a formal event. Is this social circle used to white tie events? Do all the gents own a tux with tails? Do all the women have full length evening gowns on standby or the means to run out and buy a new gown for this event because OMG everyone has already seen me in those other gowns in my closet? If they aren't white tie folks and are only doing this for a dream wedding, then their priorities are skewed. Based on the fact that so many ppl are asking them to lighten up? Yeah, they are doing the king and queen for a day thing and treating guests like subjects. Bad form, my dearest betrothed. Bad form, indeed.
If you invite someone to a party, you can suggest a dress code but it is a dick move to enforce it. They are guests, not employees. If I had an ugly sweater Christmas party, and someone did not wear one, oh well. People have elevated weddings to this insane status, but in the end it is a party and the people you invite are your guests. Show some hospitality.
The guy who picked a date that was good for his friend but not for his sister isn't an asshole unless he has a super close relationship with his sister. A lot of times friends are more important than siblings. The sister probably also has friends she feels closer to than her brother. I think she should support his decision honestly.
Agreed. If my brother gave me this choice, I'd ask someone to stream the wedding for me, and I would be all in on the preparations. His sister can certainly be disappointed to miss the wedding, but she's being a buzzkill with her attitude.
She doesn't have to act excited or give opinions. Since he doesn't care if she won't be there because she's having his neice or nephew, then he shouldn't ask for her input. Ask his BFF, who will be there, for his input, then. He's not wrong for his choice but he shouldn't try to pressure her to participate.
@@muuuuneridiculous. If you can't be excited or happy for someone unless you get to be involved in that thing, they're happy and excited about your self-centered. You and my girlfriends are going on a European cruise. I was supposed to go but my fiance has to get surgery then. So I had to back out of the trip. Doesn't mean I'm not overly excited that they get to go and experience that lovely trip. I'm excited to hear them talk about it. Because I can imagine a life that doesn't involve me and I'm not the center of my friend's universes. The sister should be able to do the same.
@@LLandS18 Think about this: Let's imagine ourselves in this situation.. . Why would I be thrilled for my brother who is choosing his friend over me? Also, the lady is pregnant. She also has her mind on other things. Clearly their sibling relationship isn't the best to start with if her brother didn't want to be flexible & land on a compromise. Why can't the brother/ groom focus on his wedding with those actively involved in it & the sister also focus on her baby/ family? They both have different priorities at this time. Both of their events are important. He can be upset she isn't acting excited, but what more can he do? He can't control his sister. He can't determine her due date, but he did have control over when to have his wedding. You also have the right to feel bummed that you weren't able to go on the trip. It's okay to have those feelings too, you know? It doesn't make you a bad person. His pregnant sister might not have the right energy to contribute to the wedding, especially since she's due any day, from what it sounds like. Would you be the person fixated on who didn't show up with the right energy to your party? If you focus on everyone else and allow them to affect your feelings all the time, you'll be sad at your own events. In this case, both siblings have the right to be mad. They both made choices. The groom chose not to change the wedding date, and the sister chose not to attend.
The guy who makes a big deal about the engagement ring reminded me of my ex. He gave me an artificial flower in our first date and insisted that I put it in my office. He kept pestering me if anyone in the office is impressed with the flower. I noped out of the relationship.
I know you get tired of making these videos (in general) sometimes, always having to give a quirky or happy expression. But I want to say THANK YOU for doing it. As you’re probably aware, your videos lighten probably a lot of our days, and make life feel a bit easier. As well, helps me to take life a little less serious (much needed!!) Thanks Charlotte 🙏🏻 ❤️🙌🏻
As someone planning a black tie wedding I’m delighted to see the amount of support in the comments for the groom enforcing white tie! A dress code is a dress code, it’s there for a reason, a dress code suits the formality of the day and allows guidelines for people, especially helpful for people like me who would stress over not knowing wether I’m over or under dressing for an event. This goes for any dress code, casual, beach, festive, fancy dress etc etc, I think they’re great and as long as guests know before they rsvp I think they’re the best way to approach things!
@@ttintagel I think this is the key part. White tie is not accessible to most ppl. Even black tie can be burdensome, depending on the socioeconomic level of your friends and family. This weird fixation on “my day” blinds ppl to the fact that dozens to hundreds of ppl will be at these events and the goal is to UNITE TWO FAMILIES and send the new couple to the next level of their relationship with love and fun. It was OTT to tell that lady she couldn’t even change into flats for the reception. Plus what guy in this century wants to wear tails??? Lmao
That guy isn’t a groomzilla for wanting and enforcing a white tie dress code. They HAVE told everyone from the very beginning, and have made it clear that people can back out if they have an issue with it. People have dress codes at their weddings all the time. White tie is just more strict than most.
I don't think he's wrong but I do think he's kind of nuts...why do you want that for your wedding when you've had so many people tell you it's not practical? You'd really rather only have a handful of your loved ones at your wedding than just relax the dress code to black tie or something?
@Baba Ganush I know, I said he's not in the wrong. If he and his fiancee want a white tie wedding, it's none of my business. I just don't understand. Isn't the point of a wedding to celebrate with your loved ones? Why is that less important to them than whether one of their guests is wearing flats or not? I'm not second guessing them, they can insist on white tie. But I would never go to their wedding, and I wouldn't want to be friends with them either.
Exactly this. They told everyone with the invitation. And when people accepted, they got a reminder about the dress code via email. People knew well ahead of time what was going down.
I love the guy who disregards formal dress rules and attends wearing a button down shirt and his biker vest. If you see this guy at a wedding go talk to him, he's probably the only interesting person there. Weddings suck very hard.
People are free to have white-tie events, but it's unrealistic to enforce that dress code on a large group of friends and family. Many people are just barely willing to wear a suit, or not to wear white or black at a wedding. IMO, just put "formal", and either "day wedding" or "evening wedding" on the invitations, and trust your guests to know what that means. If they don't, turn a blind eye and enjoy the day. The wedding party is different, though. Be crystal clear about what is expected, and be okay with people who don't want to do that.
Agree. I think people may have assumed they weren't going to be so hard core about enforcing their preferences. I can see making it clear it's a formal event if you really don't want people showing up dressed for a barbecue, but who's going to insist that grandma spend the entire day teetering around in hooker heels?
@@carolinegrova8707 Absolutely. And pretentious Groom- and Bride-zillas should know there is nothing "formal" or "informal" about low or high heels. Ask Miss Manners or Emily Post.
I've never understood the bride/groomzilla phenomenon. My wedding colors were black and purple. Told my bridesmaids to wear whatever dress they wanted as long is it was black or purple, they could wear something they already had if they wanted. I wanted them to be comfortable, I wanted them to actually LIKE the pictures they were in. And my pictures turned out great, we looked like a coordinated wedding with just the color matching and everyone looked HAPPY. I didnt have a dress code for my guests, they were GUESTS and were treated like GUESTS....I just don't get brides stressing out over things that do not matter.
I honestly don't think the white tie people are wrong... they told people they didn't have to come if they didn't like the dress code... it's their wedding just rent a tux for goodness sake... or not going is always an option. I usually agree with Charlotte, but this time I think she's wrong. He's not a Groomzilla.
Yeah I mean honestly...I'd love that. He wasn't one of the ones bitching about not getting $500-$1000 per person gifts... He just wanted everyone dressed REALLY nice. How many times in your life do you get to dress up like that?! I've had exactly ONE event in which I could get THAT dressed up and I'd be THRILLED to have an occasion to wear a floor length gown!
The dress code is not a usual reasonable wedding dress code. It pushes far past wanting guests to look nice for photos into enforcing love ones into an emotionally, physically, and financially uncomfortable bind. The events they want to attend isn't just some for fun optional casual party it's the matrimony of their loved ones, something very significant. Sure if you're just a friend maybe it is just like a party and you can weigh the options but close relatives such a the parents, siblings, and aunts/uncles of the bride and groom do not have that luxury. You can say they gave proper notice but the harsh reality is these close relatives have probably been anticipating the special day since they were know diapers. They are asking people to hide or change their identity as a human being (hair color, piercings, tattoos), be physically and probably emotionally uncomfortable (Unable to change out of pain shoes after, all girls must wear not only a dress which some will not be okay with to begin with but the same style regardless of body type, weight, ages, ect. ), and take on financial strain (Formal floor length gowns and tuxedos is not something the average person will just have in their closet and not everyone will get lucky to find one cheap) just so you can have "good" photos regardless on if they actually hold any real positive memories. That is having a wedding for the WRONG reasons. That attitude of oh well it's my day I want it I don't care is exactly what makes someone a Groom or Bridezilla.
@@jojogreengames Piercings can be taken out and tattoos (if not all over the face) can be covered for the day or days in question. Hair color is a bit of a different matter and personally I'd say just go easy with them on that one, but oh well. If the guests have got a problem with the dress code, they should have brought it up with the couple at the time they received their invitation (or at the time they received the reminders of the dress code at the very latest). And the thing about being close relatives ... sure, that's up for debate. About "anticipating the special day" that's on the guests, though. As far as I am concerned, that's a bit too much of entitlement, but yeah, depends a bit on a case-by-case basis. What if their sons/daughters, siblings, nieces/nephews never get the chance to marry? Will they then insist that they marry anyways (whom, haha?) so they get to attend the special day they anticipated? Personally, I've never been invited to a wedding and I'm a bit sad about it, but I don't go pestering them about it because it's their choice whom they invite and it completely depends on their situation, which I can empathize with.
On Reddit, somebody commented on the guy with the pregnant sister. He makes their mom also choose between her own children. Sister is without mom in case she goes into labor. Groom also misses birth of new niece/nephew.
Well, Wedding is just one day. Even if his sister goes into labor, they wouldn't be pushing in the room with her. They can still visit after the wedding.
@@coralietavassoli7414 I don’t think he would be able to be in there anyway, but having his mom chose between daughter&grandkid and son is kiiiind of unfair :/
Adults get to make adult decisions, and deal with the disappointments without making it the fault of others / making others guilty for doing the same, no?
@Nicky L because giving birth can be scary (you can die and some women get ptsd from traumatic births) and some women have their mother come with them when giving birth instead of the husband.
I disagree with #1 Now I agree that a wedding is for family and friends, specific clothing be damned. That said, that groom is also right. It's his wedding and he is allowed to do with it what he wishes so long as his fiancee agrees. He isn't making anyone go, he even said so himself that if they can't do it, then don't. If he cares more about the clothes than the people, on this particular day, that's up to him.
[nods] my big thing isn't that he's sticking to his guns or whatever. the thing is, and it's a Big one, the guest were told/reminded *_Repeatedly_* about the dress code From The Beginning. it wasn't something they sprang on anybody out of the blue. it was on the very first invites along with the ability to opt out if they chose to. i've watched so many of these where things just popped into existence out of nowhere and people expected people to just toe the line. this dude just says, "this is the theme. either plan on wearing it or opt out. no hard feelings either way." so NA. i also find it weird that on some of these she sides with the bride/groom for making decisions like that but then others she's against it... it confuses me.
I think people have the right to choose dress code in their own wedding. If it's not okay then don't go. They choose looks over family at that point keeping it so strict. Also I would never attend a wedding without a gift I think it is a tradition and decent thing to do ✌
The right yes, but they're still a bridezilla/groomzilla for freaking out over it. That's what the tag is about, people enforcing strict standards for their wedding
My dad's best friend got married a while ago. He wanted his new wife to be comfortable with the wedding plans, constantly asking if it was what she wanted. They have been happily married and they absolutely loved the gift that I painted for them. Loved them dearly
I grew up in Chile in a very middle-class background and nobody had special requests like these ones. As long as you were not dressed in white like the bride, that was it. I attended quite a few weddings in my life while I lived there and well, it wasn't bad.
•If you planned a very formal wedding and you don't have to explain the dress code: *you are at that level* •If you planned a very formal wedding and everyone on the guest list is complaining about the dress code: *you are not at that level* . *Don't insist*
even Royals are told what kind of dress code is expected in a event. So no, there is no "level". They may have the money and wanna have a fancy once-in-a-lifetime event. Let them enjoy their wedding
@@missnesi4525 sure, they can have a once in a lifetime event... they just have to be sure their entourage is on the same boat. Seems like their parents, cousins siblings and friends were not.
You can be at that level but have people in your life who aren't, especially if like me you came from a small town but have been successful in your career. In which case have two receptions - a casual one during the afternoon and a formal one in the evening.
@@lisaleone2296makes sense, that couple could have done that. A more casual and relaxed reception for their parents cousins, siblings and old friends that were complaining about it and a fancy one for their fancy new friends or anyone who wanted to be in the white tie event.
The bitterness part exists also in germany. Always reminds me of one of my "friends" who asked behind the back who gave how much money to them as a wedding gift... not to mention that there where a bunch of jobless people in the mix and trying to toss as much as possible in it... yeah I was one of the jobless and yes I tossed her to the curb for that behaviour. When an over 15 years friendship is easily weighed out by the amount you give as a wedding gift... with the unspoken words of "I deserve more!" then you know what kind of person that is and you don't need that kind of treatment.
My kids sometimes sneak up on me when I’m watching your channel, the oldest son (11 yo) loves the “expectation vs reality” and the youngest (9 yo) think that ”weird things that you can buy” are a real hit. Yesterday the oldest asked; “mommy, do you watch her cause she looks like you or is it because you both are funny?” and I took it as a huge compliment! Gotta love ‘em! ❤️
Next on Charlotte Dobre: Humble braggers part 2. “My kids say I’m TOTALLY like Charlotte- hot, funny and just generally AWESOME… so, y’know…. “ 🤣🤣 sorry, couldn’t resist! 😬
Honestly the White Tie event Groom didn't come off as a Groomzilla. The happy couple seemed very fourthcoming on the invitation. If you want to attend follow the dress code. If you don't know look it up.
The only thing that seemed too much here was refusing flat shoes, like the heels can be so tiring and really not good for your feet and no one would even see the shoes under floor length gown anyway. Otherwise I agree, having a dress code at your wedding is a valid choice.
Agreed. They didn't force or pressure people to attend, and they stated "white tie" from the get-go. They are even willing to swallow the cost of anyone who chooses not to go so late in the game. So while I'd definitely accuse them of having poorly ranked priorities in life, choosing aesthetic over loved ones... I can't exactly call him a Groomzilla over this.
@@adelest9500 As somebody who carries flats in my purse whenever I wear heels, I feel so bad for women that are forced to constantly wear shoes that can physically cause harm to women. My mother is a healthcare professional that saw firsthand the kind of harm women come to when wearing heels. One woman ended up falling and breaking her ankle so bad that she needed surgery to even go about repairing the damage.
I agree I think that would be fun but I also agree that the flat shoes is a bit much I was thinking for my wedding to get slippers and letting everyone change out and put your slippers on because I know I’m gonna want to
@@TiffWaffles Actually for traditional white tie theres only strict restrictions on mens' shoes. Women can wear flat shoes. Their only restriction is they should really be one colour (although tasteful embellishment is allowed). Most traditionally opt for mid-stiletto or kitten heels or even court shoes for older women which have more support. But as the main rule for women is a floor length dress women can get away with a lot more shoe-wise. I think the Groomzilla in this case needs to brush up on what White Tie actually means.
We “eloped” in our own living room. we had 7 people there, including the marriage commissioner. We didn’t tell anyone we were getting married. We had lunch in a nice restaurant after and left for our honeymoon in Mexico the next day. People where choked when they found out but we had a big party when we got back. It was perfect for us.
Honestly? I don’t think the white tie event guy wasn’t too out of bounds. At least for women, you can get a pretty nice and simple floor length dress from like Windsor for cheap. The shoe thing is a little much but it’s a lot easier to dress in code then some people might think.
I honestly didn't quite understand what he meant by the flat shoes, because as far as I know, there is nothing in the dress code that says you have to wear heels. Formal shoes definitely, but that does not equal heels. So I am wondering if perhaps the friend wanted to change into something that was far from formal.
People just need to know where to look. Brand new will always be expensive. Thrift stores have whole sections dedicated to ball gowns from proms past. If you know how to sew, you can modify them to your taste. It just feels selfish to demand the couple conform to someone else's relaxed wishes when they were very clear, gave them plenty of time to figure out how to help them with their theme, and gave an out to not bother if they didn't want to. You can't please everybody so I don't get why people expect the couple to bend their vision to please just a few guests. It doesn't seem like too much to ask to me, but then I'd be the kind of person who'd be happy if most people followed the dress code and wouldn't judge the one or two that didn't. I'd only judge if the mother-in-law had the audacity to show up in a wedding dress. That's a dress code we all agree on.
The only thing is his what they want to attend isn't just some for fun optional casual party it's the matrimony of their loved ones, something very significant. Sure if you're just a friend maybe it is just like a party and you can weigh the options but close relatives such a the parents, siblings, and aunts/uncles of the bride and groom do not have that luxury. It's also not just dressing up to look nice for photos it's far too out of bounds! They are asking people to hide or change their identity as a human being (hair color, piercings, tattoos), be physically and probably emotionally uncomfortable (Unable to change out of pain shoes after, all girls must wear not only a dress which some will not be okay with to begin with but the same style regardless of body type, weight, age, ect.) And take on financial strain (Formal floor length gowns and tuxedos is not something the average person will just have in their closet it might be less of a strain for some people rather than others but not everyone is going to find a such a grand outfit for cheap) just so they can have "good" photos regardless on if they actually hold any real positive memories! That's having a wedding for the WRONG reasons.
@@jadespades4237 It's far more selfish to expect EVERYONE to bend over backwards for someone's vision of a wedding when they're not even in the bridal party. You can have a dress code for the way people DRESS. Tattoos, dyed hair, and piercings are an extension of a human being and their identity, by trying to restrict this you are basically saying you just don't want them, period. Also, white tie is FAR too much simply having a formal dress code would have been perfect. By doing this it is far more likely only a few guests will actually be perfectly fine with this sacrifice and majority will have a hard time. There is a difference between wanting your guests to look nice and put together for photos and an outrageous dress code that requires everyone who wants to see their loved ones special day to be emotionally, physically, and financially uncomfortable. And yes financially too because not everyone is going to find their super formal outfit cheap or have the skills to tailor their own outfits without getting it professionally done. I mean no one is complaining for sweats and gym shoes here, they still want to look their best for the photos, but they also want to FEEL their best. Yes they gave notice but they event they wish to attend isn't just some for fun optional casual party it's the matrimony of their loved ones, something very significant. Sure if you're just a friend maybe it is just like a party and you can weigh the options but close relatives such a the parents, siblings, and aunts/uncles of the bride and groom do not have that luxury. A wedding should not be something to dread/stress about and plan for ages in advance if you are a GUEST. And all this just for a couple of "good" photos regardless of whether they actually hold any postitive memories behind them! That's having a wedding for the wrong reasons!
Hey, #tatertots. Can we all just take a moment to realize how many times that Charlotte has chased away your black cloud following you around. I know I've lost count. Thank you, 👸❣❣Everyone be safe and enjoy your beautiful day. 👊💜💙✌🏼
Even if I understand the sadness of the sister, it's very rude to ask to schedule a wedding just for you! OK you can't go, but if you love your brother don't sabotage his weddings and cherish preparations !
I know right? Like i get it. She's pregnant and that really sucks, but asking your brother to change the date, effectively throwing his best friend out of the wedding is also pretty sucky. I think the way the op went about it was also kinda sucky but I feel like this isn't as one sided as everyone was acting it was
Also, even if he did reschedule, it'd have to be a couple of months later if she's postpartum and can't travel immediately. No one can predict the exact day she would have the baby, so it made sense to accommodate the best friend's schedule more. However, he's kind of TA for trying to include her in planning when she's obviously not into it, knowing she can't attend. It's an issue with timing.
White tie is the most formal of dress codes. That means long, floor-length gowns (evening, not ball gowns) for women, think beauty pageant dress. Do feel free to break out the tiara for this as it would be appropriate, also long white gloves if the dress is sleeveless. Men, black slacks and black cut-away tail coat with white shirt, white vest and white bow tie, shiny black shoes. Generally only appropriate for an evening event. In order to look good, the men’s outfit must be tailored to fit, no off the rack, takes some practice to wear well and comfortably. (A certain US President wore an ill-fitting version of this for a dinner with the Queen of England)
I mean I think the dresscode thing is totally reasonable. They're throwing a huge party and they want this certain feeling. It's practically a dress-up/motto party that just happens to be a wedding as well. They told everyone way in advance, they were clear that declining because of this is fine, people complaining to them now just means they didn't bother googling white tie beforehand.
Completely agree. Everyone has their own standards for a wedding and people shouldnt complain just because its not what they would do. They were very clear
Lol, that’s the best way to alienate your whole family and lose some friends. Why do ppl should spend hundreds of dollars on an outfit they’ll never wear again?
Why do people think that white tie event clothes have to be expensive? Where I'm from people can still rent a dress or tux. Turkish clothing stores sell evening gowns for 50 bucks. Nowadays people can't be expected to wear appropriate clothes in general. I've seen people wear shorts to church and bring backpacks to the opera and the likes. Pretty annoying for anyone wishing to have at least one place remaining where people dress up. We don't even have really formal dances and balls anymore nowadays.
@@TiffWaffles Checking in daily/weekly. Arriving with event coordinators, a sound team, caterers etc. Really? It is a church hall, not a wedding venue! Calling constantly to check if the hall is still theirs after I told him 100 times - after the deposit is paid, it's yours for the day. Calling me on my private number (while I was in quarantine with COVID), after office hours, to gain entrance to the premises. I am an admin clerk, not an event coordinator. The hire of our church hall is a favor and not something we really allow to community members that is not part of the congregation as we have services on a Sunday and it is a self-cater situation. Their event is scheduled for a Saturday. I also explained that to him, and after their insistence, granted them the favor. I feel it's like a situation that you are already getting a favor, for cheaper than a wedding venue, not a wedding venue, and now you are approaching it as if you are doing me a favor and this is a wedding venue. It's just annoying.
@@annekevanwyk4975 where I come from there's some churches that have areas set up for venue with a kitchen where it would be a self cater sorta deal ( so that's what I'm picturing in mind reading your story ) it sounds like either his bride has put him up to this or somewhere along in his life he got it in his head that he is responsible as a groom to handle some things... one last thing comes to mind is that he might be trying to save money by event planning himself instead of hiring someone to do it for him... I wonder if he assumes that since you work for the church & that even though it's not necessarily something you do for the public that somewhere down the line y'all have hosted a wedding that's similar to what he's having... now having said that & no matter what the case may be... & especially since he's calling you on your personal # ( which you probably gave for emergencies & whatnot & didn't think he'd abuse said privilege) what you should do is speak with your pastor & explain the situation do pray & ask God to show you exactly how to approach everything beforehand & the words to say. Once you speak to the pastor come up with a set of guidelines going forward & decide with your pastor if maybe he or you or the both of you explain said guidelines to him either in person or on a conference call & maybe also it be best to ask the bride to be present. Explain to him that this is in fact a favor & while yourself & the church would love nothing more than for that to be the holy ground where which he takes his vows that this is what's expected in return for said favor... maybe also suggest to him that he's focused too much on what can go wrong instead of leaning on God's grace for the situation. Tell him yes the place is yours & in order to asuade any fears of losing the agreed upon favor that it might help settle his mind if he pay the down payment fee sooner in advance. Now I say the next with caution, if & only if you feel it be right for the situation to offer your services to be of extra help with such plans for the wedding that you could take some tasks off his hands and handle them for a fee should your job with the church allow for it. Maybe also ask the pastor to speak with him privately concerning his wedding planning stress. Men handle things differently than women do. I once read a study where they hooked up men & women to read brain scans of activity concerning emotions while the women basically tells the man what is upsetting her. They found that often times men got more stressed than the women by & largely but that the difference being that the stress got more intense because men are more oriented to try & fix it for us & when they can't they may not say anything but carry a lot in them, whereas the women just wanted them to listen & let them know they were there & hear that it would be ok. The men have a hard time with this because they see it in a problem solving way as opposed to women just wanting the comfort that they care... maybe he's going overboard for some unknown & unforseen reason & maybe the comfort that a man of God would hear him out would help... hope this helps you & I'll absolutely say a prayer for the situation 😊🙏❤🙏 On a side note... in just about everywhere I go digitally & when I can I've been leaving a gofundme link 👉 gofund.me/b0736145 👈 this is for my family... my mom is at the end of her battle with cancer & taking care of this fine lady until she takes her leave... my dad suffered a 3rd heart attack a month ago & this is the only way I could think of to help pay for meds, bills, things that we need & ultimately a funeral... if anyone can help it'd be much obliged & please also pray for us & share the link if you like... most people don't respond for reasons on God knows why... so if no one does it's ok I understand... I know Charlotte once joked about a scammer saying I'll pray for you or that I think she thought that would be their next line or something like that & I'm not sure which vid it was since I've recently found her & been binge watching when I can... I helps given all the stress ! I honestly do pray for others though I ask God to bless everyone that's ever read any of my comments whether they donate or not... maybe tell a little of my story to the groom... life isn't perfect but that's what makes all the good moments have the ability to be appreciated that much more... God bless y'all, Sim 😊🙏❤🙏
The white tie guy is 100% not at fault here. He was clear about everything from the get go, people responding and later trying to negotiate is just rude. You knew what you signed up for.
Dude, I’m 5’0”…only guests I’m going to be taller than at my wedding is my toddler nephews…that couple going on about how the bride had to be taller is ridiculous! 🤣
If someone told me my wedding gift had to cost 150 bucks I'd go on a spending spree @ Dollar General and buy as much useless shit as possible, and in the box I'd put a note letting them know it's trashy to require a monetary value so I bought them a bunch of trash.
Ha! You just reminded me of a story my roommate once told me, about a sister who invited a long-time friend of the family (an artist whose commissions regularly brought in 5 figures) to her wedding, knowing he planned to gift a piece of custom art. But then she went on a bit of a bridezilla rampage and, among other demands, imposed a minimum gift value. The artist didn't openly say he disapproved of her priorities, but he "respected her wishes" by choosing a food processor from the registry and auctioning off his art ("of indeterminate value") for charity instead. Personally I'd rather have the cool gadget and as a rule I don't think it's a good idea to gift people decorative items, but the sister was the sort to show off family connections and would have coveted that art. It was a definite blow to the ego. But hey, it was her wedding and those were the instructions!
Love the idea!!! My niece had 6 or 7 baby-related parties between the time she learned she was pregnant and the baby’s arrival-from the baby shower, gender reveal, naming party, photo parties (one before AND one after birth), to whatever those parties were were that she held. Each time, she’d emphasize that gifts of an X amount of dollars were required, even if we couldn’t attend, and if we attended, we had to pay for our food and hers (she is a single mom, so we didn’t have to pay for her husband, luckily). Useless crap from a dollar store would have been a great way to meet the spending requirement AND cause her disappointment at the same time. As a family member, I was obligated to attend, but nobody was in attendance toward the end, and she had absolutely no idea why people weren’t there to celebrate with her.
When my niece got married we were formal (fathers familu) her mom's family showed up like they were at a BBQ. Jeanss, shorts, plain tee's. Seemed very disrespectful, couldn't bother with at least Sunday attire. Not sure it bothered her but every single one of them, at least 25 or so.
I once went to a wedding of one of my friends that was super casual. Everyone was wearing shorts and t-shirts. The bride had a cute shorts set on, and the groom wore jeans and a t-shirt. I was overdressed! I wore a light blue skirt suit, which I thought was appropriate, since she told me it would be casual. I just didn’t realize how casual it was! We had a good time though!
I agree with the “white tie” groom. If you’ve laid out the dress code in advance, people should respect it. The downside of a dress code so strict however is you may have several people who won’t show because they don’t want to spend that kinda money on the attire. So would you rather have a wedding where only 20 people show dressed to the nines or 80 people show dressed nicely?
on the flip side, it's actually a rather cunning way of downsizing how much you actually have to put out for venders. if only twenty people show, think how much less you have to pay for food and drink! it would be an introverts dream... pretty sparkly fancy clothing but only a few people to deal with.
If you don't come from a family that regularly does white tie events, it should be explicitly clear what that means and don't be shocked if a lot of folks decline. You're basically asking your entire guest list to be part of your wedding party. That said, I love white tie, it looks so cool!
For the pregnant sister drama, this does depend on if it was before or during covid, that's an important dual that we don't know. Anyway, I had 2 VERY pregnant friends at my wedding, 1 who was 6 days PAST her delivery date and the other who was 7 days AWAY from her delivery date. We had even talked about having the (now late) baby be our ring bearer, but nope, niece didn't show up on time lol! So I kinda feel, as long as the wedding isn't miles/hours away, the pregnant sister could attend if she wanted to. At least attend the wedding and leave the reception early or not go to the reception at all or something along those lines. My 2 besties took great delight in running (and I do man running) up to me and jumping up and down saying in singsong voices "The babies are coming! The babies are coming!" I was like "NOT on MY day! Stop trying to steal my ThUnDeR girls" in my best whiny bridezilla voice impression. At which we would all fall about laughing. Even though they were actually jumping up and down trying to induce Labour, but it was after the ceremony, so I didn't care at that point. I kinda liked the idea of 1 or both babies being born in my wedding day. Little disappointed they couldn't oblige. Rude😉😉😉🤣🤣🤣 Oh and just in case anyone wondered about the deliveries, the lady a week away from her d day went into labour the day after my wedding (wedding was a Friday) and gave birth the next day (Sunday). The 1 who was now 8 days late was a little jealous lol. She finally went into labour 6 days (on the Thursday) after the wedding and gave birth exactly 1 week after my day(at like 4 minutes past midnight on the Friday)! Both babies were prefect! Hubby knew we couldn't leave to go on our honeymoon until AFTER the babies were born. They were my 2 best friends, what else could I do but wait until AFTER the babies arrived to go? Hubby was super understanding though, luckily lol
I just have to add that the way the groom is behaving about it all is a little bit of an a-hole move. BUT, pregnant sis isn't being perfect either. There could be some wiggle room here. There can always be compromises I changed my wedding date TWICE and the location once to accommodate family, sadly mine. We were doing it abroad, and little brothers GCSE's started 2 weeks AFTER the date (?) So we moved it to the September and then mum's idiot (now ex) bf refused to fly out regardless, and mum wasn't brave enough to fly alone, or only with my younger brother, so we moved to the UK. It was not the wedding of our dreams, but everyone we wanted to be there WAS there, and that was what mattered in the end. Again, there can always be a compromise.
As a fan of masquerade balls (and growing up in Louisiana with formal balls all year around), I can guarantee you that a White Tie gown can be rented for $100 and up. A White Tie tux can be rented for $60 and up. High school prom dresses and tuxes cost more than White Tie clothes these days. You're not going to tell me none of these people have ever dropped $500+ on prom for their kids, including hair, nails, etc... This groom and the bride told everyone over a year ago that this would be a White Tie affair. They had a whole year to prepare. They RSVP's to say they understood and agreed. Now, they're deliberately trying to sabotage the wedding of someone they claim to love. The guests should be in a special Entitled Guests feature. A wedding only happens once. Maybe this couple has never had anything nice and they wanted to do something special for once, probably never to experience it again. I feel so sorry for them having such terrible "loved ones."
A lot of people don’t know what white tie is though. So I think part of the problem is the couple assumed people are familiar with that (which shows they’re probably from money). People who were planning to wear a cocktail dress probably thought that was what white tie was. Clearly of course you know what it is because you attend such events (though my understanding is that’s black tie, not white tie, though maybe they’re extremely fancy masquerades! My understanding of white tie is it’s what you wear to a White House dinner or to be knighted… perhaps it’s different here in the UK) but not everyone has that knowledge because they aren’t from a background or culture or community where they’ve needed to know. I think it would’ve been cool if the couple had included information about what a white tie outfit is and includes, listed some recommended rental places (although my understanding is white tie is usually tailored to you, not off the rack) and some typical prices. That would’ve helped people not only understand what it was (instead of making people guess or spend hours researching) but also make an informed decision about whether it was something that they could afford or wanted to pay for.
@@amstreater They were told specifically what it was by the bride and groom. From top to bottom, the bride and groom told them what White Tie meant for clothing attire. The woman who posted the pic of a cocktail dress was one of their mothers, who was with them at the initial planning of the event. She knew. They all knew.
I hope she pawned the engagement ring to pay down the money she had loaned him. This woman may be slow on the uptake, but she finally found the courage to dump this a-hole.
Courts have ruled that the ring must be returned. It is not a gift outright but a gift with the expectation of a marriage. If the marriage doesn't happen, the ring goes back to the groom. Obviously each couple will handle it their own way but if she calls off the wedding and he wants the ring back she has to give it to him.
@@hectorsmommy1717 I wonder what the courts would have to say about the money she loaned him. I guess it would depend if they had any kind of proof of it being a loan, where the expectation would be to pay it back. I wonder if they would just write it off and rule that they’re even.
@@hectorsmommy1717 Damn! You're right. An engagement ring is a "contract" for an expectation. Otherwise, getting engaged and pawning the ring would be a grifter's dream. Thanx for the education!
@@temporaladvisor3958 Each couple deals with the breakup and finances their own way but when it has been taken to court the courts always side with giving the ring back.
11:54 Also file this under "How to tell someone you're racist without saying that you're racist." Also, what a way for bride to find out what kind of family she was marrying into. Too bad she didn't find out sooner.
The amount of people in this comment section who don't understand how pregnancy and childbirth work is saddening. Childbirth isn't like going to the bathroom; you can't just hold it in until later. When the baby decides to come, everything stops, period. Objectively, it's easier to reschedule a wedding than the birth of a baby. Yes, it's inconvenient, but so is child-rearing in general. No one is more inconvenienced by a woman's pregnancy than the pregnant woman herself. It's not like she got pregnant just to make her brother's life harder. In any case, the brother isn't a groomzilla for choosing to prioritize his friend over his sister; none of us know enough about their relationship to say that he should just value his sister more. What makes him a groomzilla is getting upset that his sister is no longer "enthusiastic" about a wedding she can't go to. Because God forbid, she be more concerned about her pregnancy than her brother's wedding. What makes him think that his wedding is any more important than her kid? People get married all the time; for all we know, he and his fiance could get divorced in less than a year. He's being entitled.
Was looking for this comment a--hole reaction but not TA for the choice who knows the relationship between them all especially since family isn't just by blood
that and also her risking her and the baby's life so close to the due date for a wedding is insane. he really thinks that just being pregnant in general is easy. if you don't follow doctor's orders, bad things can happen. i've never been pregnant and can't but I thought THAT was at least common knowledge. I feel bad for any future children his wife tries to carry bc he will just think it's something people should be able to handle.
While I agree generally, but what exactly is stopping a heavily pregnant person going to a wedding (considering she's not in a risky pregnancy)? It's a genuine question. If she'd have to fly to the event then the refusal is understandable. But if she's just transported there by a car, and has seats, refreshers the whole time, and someone pays extra attention to her why can't she come? What's the difference between sitting at home or sitting at a wedding reception? Is there any valid medical reason why she can't go, or is it just a fear of what ifs? I'm asking because I'm confused.
@@hungidran1 all pregnancies are risky. ALL of them. Every single one. You're not taking a poop. It's a baby. This literally should be common knowledge and that's why I sound a little mean in my response. You can't expect someone to TRAVEL long distances so close to their due date. It doesn't matter how many pee breaks she gets. All the walking around puts stress on the body and can escalate problems. Many doctors tell women that are at higher risk that during the 3rd trimester, sometimes even their WHOLE pregnancy, they should be on bed rest.
I disagree about the brother who "chose" his best friend over his sister. I don't think it's fair for the sister to ask him to move the wedding date because she's pregnant. She can still be a part of the wedding planning and a "part of" the wedding. While he chose the dates because they align with his best friends availability, it is important to have his friend who he probably hasn't seen in a long while at his wedding. A far trip is something that takes a lot of time and money, and it's okay to value and accommodate having someone emotionally dear to you who you don't see often at your wedding. I get the sister may be upset, but it's also not her day. She gets to see her brother a lot. And it isn't like he's not inviting her. She's invited, she just may not be able to attend due to her pregnancy. But if she still wants to be a a part of the ceremony/festivities she needs to suck it up a little and refocus on the entire point of the celebration. It's her brother's wedding, he's marrying the love of his life. She needs to either step up and be a good sister or step down and pout privately. I'm a woman and if I knew I would not be able to attend my sister's wedding due to a pregnancy, I would be sad. But I'd also never expect her to plan around me. I would do all I could to show her my support and love, and just cope with my sadness over missing out.
Agreed.. also for the sister unless she’s going into labour the day or or before it doesn’t mean she cannot attend, she could go into labour a week later or even a week earlier just because the date aligned with the week that marked her at 39weeks doesn’t mean she can’t go.
I agree with you. The sister imo is completely entitled! Unless her Brother was the dad, her Baby is not his problem! She could still be happy for him. The audacity to expect other people scheduling their life plans around your fammilyplanning ykes!
@Baba Ganush Not going to be in considerable pain just because the shoe would show when I stick my foot out to trip up the shallow AHs at the reception.
4:45 I think the couple are in the right. People could have, and still can opt out. Like they said, they paid a lot of money for their photographer (something I'd thin you would appreciate); and they want it to look how they want it to look.
I spent crap all on my wedding. I basically just made it a party at a venue. No bridesmaids no groomsmen, nothing. I don’t like playing favourites with friends and I just wanted people to have fun. I had a round the world trip honeymoon though. The most stressful thing I did was organising the celebrant.
I think the dress code "groomzilla" was being pretty reasonable. Like, maybe a 3-4 on the groomzilla scale. It's your day; you have every right to enforce a dress code and it didn't seem like they were being in their guests face about it. He said multiple times that they gave guests multiple chances to back out if they weren't comfortable with the dress code. To me, it's in the same vein as saying it's a no kids wedding and then someone brings like, 4 of their kids. The bride and groom made their decisions for a reason. Yes, it may be inconvenient for you, but his mom was *actively* buying a cocktail dress that was not in the dress code. If the couple is giving you an out, either take it or suck it up for a day
I agree, they honestly didn’t sound unreasonable and as they said - people agreed to the “terms” when they RSVPd? Like it seemed they had months to prepare for it
@@SheilaR.08 If you'd show up in an inappropriate outfit for the wedding of a beloved one who specifically said a certain dresscode in the pictures would be important to them you're just entitled. It seemed like their family would be able to afford (or rent) attires according to the dresscode since the mother didn't have issues to buy a new dress, and they gave plenty of time to organize it. Googling a dresscode isn't hard and if you're not sure the dress you found would be correct you could just ask the couple if it's ok. If people wish for a certain dresscode to feel fancy on their once in a lifetime event just follow their rules or don't show up... you can express yourself any other day
@@midnaphai THIS! Like, it is one day. Invitations go out MONTHS before a wedding, if not a year. There was plenty of time for guests to find something to wear, plan to rent things, etc. instead of actively being like, "Hmm, no. I know that you *said* that this was important to you. But I'm gonna do what *I* want, because that's more important" It's also not like the couple put a budget minimum on attire either. Renting a tux - okay, may be expensive. But you can probably find something secondhand that would be affordable and appropriate for a white tie event. And if not, then, I'm sure the couple would miss them, but again, they're giving people an out
The dress code is not like other wedding dress codes though, it pushes far past wanting guests to look nice for photos into enforcing love ones into an emotionally, physically, and financially uncomfortable bind. The events they want to attend isn't just some for fun optional casual party it's the matrimony of their loved ones, something very significant. Sure if you're just a friend maybe it is just like a party and you can weigh the options but close relatives such a the parents, siblings, and aunts/uncles of the bride and groom do not have that luxury. You can say they gave proper notice but the harsh reality is these close relatives have probably been anticipating the special day since they were know diapers. They are asking people to hide or change their identity as a human being (hair color, piercings, tattoos), be physically and probably emotionally uncomfortable (Unable to change out of pain shoes after, all girls must wear not only a dress which some will not be okay with to begin with but the same style regardless of body type, weight, ages, ect. ), and take on financial strain (Formal floor length gowns and tuxedos is not something the average person will just have in their closet and not everyone will get lucky to find one cheap) just so you can have "good" photos regardless on if they actually hold any real positive memories. That is having a wedding for the WRONG reasons. That attitude of oh well it's my day I want it I don't care is exactly what makes someone a Groom or Bridezilla.
I've never seen/been to a wedding where you bring a gift to the actual wedding. I've brought money (mostly an Italian thing) to a wedding. Isn't that what bridal showers are for though?
We don’t have bridal showers in the UK (although perhaps people have adopted them as a trendy American thing) so i believe people bring gifts to the wedding. I’m Not sure though as I’ve never bought a wedding gift (most weddings I’ve been to the couple has specifically said no gifts are expected but sometimes had a honeymoon fund people could pitch into - since I usually had to travel internationally, my presence was my present)
I've never been married but been to several weddings and I was told that the etiquette was to either buy a gift or donate a sum that would cover the meal you're getting (approximately). So, that's basically what I've done each time. Since it's usually a multi course meal + drinks, the donations were quite substantial (luckily I'm alone, so it doesn't add up). However... if I were to receive a mandate on it they'd get nothing, I simply wouldn't go. I don't get why so many of these horrible people still retain their friends. How do they even make friends with those attitudes? I seriously don't understand... Do people love to be bullied that much?
I'm 65 I've never been married I have no children and only one friend. I treat myself very well my life is peaceful and stress free . I will admit that I do experience schadenfreude at the expense of those who have no self awareness and are caught up in the self inflicted drama of their lives .
standard wedding etiquette allows UP TO A YEAR AFTER THE WEDDING to send a gift. Maybe that's slipped thru the cracks as it seems very few people know basic etiquette or even manners. That person is TA. Oh, and no, no one is obligated to gift at all. Period. People are so money and status driven these days. It's a nice thing to do and probably 99% of people Do gift, but it's not why one gets married, is it? Is it?
It'd also have been super expensive. It's hand woven at a loom. To ask the guests to wear it would be a bit difficult, but decor should be interesting.
The last one really sent me over the top!! How dare someone say that someone's cultural formal attire isn't appropriate! The list on why this pisses me off is too long for this forum! But ugh what a piece of💩💩!! 😤😤😠😠😡😡😤😤
Right? The bride sounds lovely. Not sure how a guest in a beautiful dress can embarrass the groom. She is even from Ghana. Its not like she was some white girl from Jersey wearing it. Its her culture. What an A-hole groomzilla
If I had someone that wanted to dress in a traditional dress like the one to my wedding, it would be awesome. Wouldn’t even have to ask if it was ok with me nor my groom.
![COLOMBIA vs. CHILE [4-0] | RESUMEN | ELIMINATORIAS SUDAMERICANAS | FECHA 10](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/TDjN4W3yy1k/mqdefault.jpg)
As a single person who is nowhere near getting married, why do I find it very enjoyable to watch bridezillas and groomzillas content
Because they're great reminders we're doing the right thing by staying unwed.
To know that being single is still better than marrying those people.
Same! 🤣
Because you know you will make better choices in a partner eventually.
same man 🤣🤣
"We booked a photographer with our own money," they act like that's something special. Like, who else's money were you supposed to use?
Because parents usually do that.
@@ariellajasmine these days that’s becoming less common. My parents won’t put a penny towards any wedding I or my sibling might have, and most of my friends have had minimal financial gifts from their parents as well.
At least they are offering cash instead of shout outs on instagram.
@@ariellajasmine Imo that's a bit outdated and mainly for quite well-off families. In my extended family (including aunts, uncles and grandparents) I can't think of anyone who had parents paying. Although saying that, my gran did have a wannabe photographer friend who took my parents' wedding photos for free.
Am I the only one kinda glad they're at least PAYING the photographer? LOL
I had a themed wedding with Renaissance attire and encouraged it as a "dress code" but not mandatory. Majority of the people came in their awesome costumes and a tiny handful wore a suit or dress. It was great and everyone remembers my wedding :) Even the priest thought it was hilarious!
That's awesome. I for one love going to themed weddings and have no problems with conforming to their stated dress code beforehand. If it was stated that it was going to be a white tie event then that's what guests should do! Not just bitch about it beforehand and then still RSVP anyway. The guests here are the aholes in my own opinion. The groom and bride told guests numerous times about the dress code and it just seems like the guests don't care at all about what the couple actually wants. You don't expect someone to show up to prom wearing jeans and a t-shirt would you? No of course not. Also one of my friends had a ren faire/celtic wedding and it was so much fun seeing everyone in Faire clothes! :)
I did the same for my first wedding. Found a preacher who was willing to come in costume as well!
A friend of mine got married AT the Renaissance Festival. Had a harp player and everything, got a blessing from "The Queen" ngl I was kinda jealous(my wedding was a small courthouse deal) but I was still so happy for her. She deserved it.
Nice! I'm guessing some folks dressed up as Renaissance artists like Leo da Vinci or Michaelangelo-
@@caffeinatedkatie4696you can always redo your vows at the Renaissance Festival.
My 2 cents on the white tie wedding. I'm a black South African woman so at most black weddings here people will almost always dress to the nines. With that said if couples specify a dress code for the day of normally people will dress as close to the dress code as they possibly can. The most important thing for us is that the couple gets married and the guests enjoy the wedding. In my opinion the groom may not be a groomzilla for their dress code however he and his fiancée are being a bit inconsiderate. They aren't thinking of the elderly guests, those who may have medical issues and financial issues amongst other things. They're going to end up having only half the guests they invited actually attend. They may want to loosen up a little.
As for the last one that groom and his family are racist/prejudiced to Africans that's for sure. I'm just sad she had to be subjected to that.
I think the difference is that you realize people will dress as close as possible to the dress code (and still be dressed to the nines) but you wouldn’t call them out for doing the best they could if it wasn’t spot on.
I thought a wedding was a celebration of love and commitment? I respect their decision to have such a formal wedding but I would have to decline. I want to celebrate their love, classy but comfortably.
@@precisionfrequency Exactly! I understand they want people to dress up but it is ONE day! I would not want to spend a lot of money for someone else's wedding as a guest. The dresses and tuxes that white tie attire requires it not cheap. I would just say formal and floor-length dress/skirts.
It is possible for the last one that it's not about the Kente print. It's probably because the dress design, maybe very tight with very open shoulder, kinda 'revealing'? Usually, conservative Christians complain about it, regardless race.
@@zitronentee
Really? My very catholic grandma didn't care about such things.
To be fair to the ‘white tie’ couple, I attended a white tie masquerade charity event and it was incredibly impressive. All the men in tails and the women in gowns was stunning. (We also wore masks, but that’s irreverent). Certainly not something I expect to do again but I’ll always remember that night.
I love white tie events and go to a couple a year. I also understand that most ppl A) don’t know what that means and B) may not have hundreds to thousands of dollars to spend on their outfit for a single day, on top of expensive gifts and travel expenses.
And also, they made it clear in the invitations..like this wasn't a surprise or something to the guests. So while they're being a little stiff and stubborn, it's not like the guests weren't informed ahead of time.
Not to be that person, but I think you meant "irrelevant."
@@sparkiebunnie8 they're being stubborn and assholes in the sense of having absolutely no lee way for the dress code. The cocktail dress was a fair no in my opinion. However They're really going to have an issue with a woman going from heels to flats for the reception ???
@@pinkpandamiranda Probably a phone typo. Chill. They communicated and everyone knows what they meant. You are, indeed, that person. 🤣🤣
to the woman with the kente print dress, sounds like the "southern tradition" is probably more likely racism
Same thing I said.
“Traditional views” = racist views
Yeah, his family are 100% Confederates. Like who else would get offended by an African woman wearing a beautiful traditional piece of clothing from her own country? The heck? His ancestors most definitely had slaves, and he definitely sounds like one of those people who still flies a Confederate flag.
I actually thought about the dress design, probably too 'revealing' for conservative Christians, less about race.
@@zitronentee Without seeing the dress we'd have no way of knowing. A Kente dress can be as long or as short as any western dress. It could have been floor length for all we know. Honestly, either way the groom's family is wild.
I'm glad that lady ditched expensive diamond ring guy. We're all having a laugh about it, but elements of that story make me suspect he'd have been an extremely controlling and abusive partner. Telling his wife-to-be that her parents "might not even be invited."
What a bellend! xD
yeah he sounded like a bit of a thoughtless buttwipe before but "your parents might not be invited" was red flags all over the place, especially in addition to using her credit cards and owing her money.
First thing that came to mind, ditch the Narcissist.
Well at least I learned a new word today- bellend- 😂
@@boatymsboatface3929 it's a very British insult. It means the top end of a male's intimate parts 😂
Yeah, definitely controlling and abusive. I've been in a psychologically and emotionally abusive relationship and this sent up so many warning flags and reminders.
While I agree a dresscode that strict is kinda silly, they did inform their guests about it in advance..
I'd say the same about childfree weddings, so I'm gonna have to say that OP was not in the wrong, even though I personally think it's a bit silly.
I SO agree!!
Yeah. I think his expectations are out of whack -- if his wedding isn't an inclusive celebration for friends and family, then accept that and plan for it -- but I give him points for being honest and up front.
I agree with the clothing but no tattoos/piercings/expecting people to dye their hair is a huge joke to me. That's like the people who don't allow pregnant people to come to their wedding.
No dress codes are expensive and usually end up costing the person money they can't really afford and few brides or grooms ever offer to pay for it either, it's just one day, and no it's not worth it
@@ambereyedbabygirl Don't see why piercings would be a problem but it's understandable that very colorful dyed hair or tattoos would stand out too much if they really want a super formal wedding picture. If people are into that it's their choice (even tho photoshop is an option if they care about it so much). Thinking of what kind of tattoos some people have and what color disorientation happens on people's heads it's definitely acceptable asking them to wear long sleeves and try out a less expressive hair color for the picture if they want to be there. On the other hand, refusing pregnant people or expecting high priced wedding gifts are disrespectful af, it's not like you can just quickly change your life situation for a wedding.
"I've seen bigger", I bet he used to hearing that. The way he was so fixated on people knowing it was an expensive ring, clearly shows he compensating for something.
Probably drives a BMW.
😂😂😂
I get the “white tie” thing, to an extent. Just like going to any event, when you agree to a dress code, you have agreed. I’ve bartended quite a few black tie and white tie events, and there is usually someone at the door to check. Idk, I wouldn’t care if someone showed up in sweats to my event, but I still kind of understand. It is their money and time. 🤷🏼♀️
Same. It's not something I would do for my wedding but they were pretty clear and upfront about it from the very beginning. I wouldn't go so far as to shame them or be angry at them for wanting this.
I agree. The only thing was the tattoos piercings and colored hair was a little too far for me
@@-Devy- I completely agree. It isn’t my style, nor attitude on such things, for sure, but I also wouldn’t spend as much on an event as some spend on their weddings. All of that is insane to me, but I definitely enjoy them when I’m at someone else’s. Lol. If I wanted to attend something like that with a dress code, I would make sure I understood it fully before RSVPing. Again, it isn’t my money. Plus, it’s so fun to get all formal for an evening. Not sure why it would matter to anyone that already agreed.
@@sophiemonasterio1508 as someone with all of the above, if they sent me the invite, I would have to send them a selfie of my 🤨 face. Lol
@@sophiemonasterio1508 yes, I agree if for no other reason than that some folks have too many tattoos to hide or in places that can’t be covered and can’t very well be expected to get them all removed with a laser or something. I love all kinds of hair colors - the brighter and more creative the better, but I guess I can see that this couple want a specific “look” for their wedding and are fine with leaving out those with visible tattoos and colorful hair and anyone else who can’t populate their wedding photos, etc.
You have the right to be mad. You have the right to feel however you feel. If you want to get along with other humans you have to feel your own feelings and _also_ consider other people's feelings and use reason when you choose your actions.
If only we could sit people down and say this
That's just it. They are NOT considering anyone else's feelings or circumstances, nor are they using reason for choosing their actions.
This should be shouted from the rooftops!
@Gus BSB: Just because you might not have married the right person doesn't mean that everyone has the same experience. I've known people for whom it is one of the best things they've ever done, and others for whom it has been one of the worst mistakes of their life. I guess it all depends on which head the groom uses to make the decision.
@Gus BSB Tell me you have had trouble dating without telling me you have had trouble dating.
I love the “give her snacks rule” lmao 😂 I love this more because a BIG reason my SIL picked her wedding dress (besides it being beautiful) was because it HAD POCKETS! We all agreed this was perfect to hide snacks lmao 😂
Pockets make almost any dress a hundred percent more desirable in the store.
Hey, I don't blame her! It's criminal how much of women's clothing don't have pockets! It's already hard enough to find pants with pockets, let alone dresses and skirts. Meanwhile, my husband has pockets galore in all his clothes.
@@aubreycarter7624it’s the fault of the handbag industry 😂
The one who wanted to send bitter thank you cards to people who didn't pony up a gift is just typical of way too many couples now. They want to have a huge party and then have guests give them enough in gifts to offset the cost and pay for their honeymoon, too, I guess. How about paying for what you can afford, letting guests give gifts they can afford, and being decent people?
My husband and I were married in our mid 30s... We were just so happy to be getting married that we threw a kickass black tie wedding because all we wanted was a great party with family and friends. Our only deal breaker was that we did not want babies at the wedding ceremony. (AND we paid for babysitting care at the reception for those who really wanted to bring their kids...nice of us, huh?) Truth be know we borrowed from ourselves (took out money from our 401k plans) In the end most of the cash gifts went towards "paying" ourselves back I guess though this was not our intent. And spoiler alert my older bro ad sil were furious because they thought that my Dad and Step Mom had paid for the wedding despite us telling them that that was not true
One friend asked if she could cater as her gift...YES!, another offered to sew my dress if I bought the fabric, patterns and notions...YES! another made my cake as a gift YES! I made my own decorations, Husband made the table wine and FIL paid the bar tab. Whole thing total was under 5000 dollars and was one hell of a party.... Didn't even have a registry, we had a fully equipped household already, no gifts required.
By the sounds of it they didn't even bring a card which is kind of rude. I understand that people can't afford big gifts, but most people include smaller gifts and again a card shows that you care even if you don't have a lot of money.
That's why if I ever get married I'll specifically ask for no gifts, just show up and have a good time and kind words is all I would ask
Several times people I barely know have invited me to their wedding. It was pretty clear they were fishing for pricey gifts. I write them a little note accepting their invitation, but add that since I don’t know them well enough to chose a really meaningful gift, I am making a generous donation to a charity in their name (receipt for donation attached.). Then I go the wedding, eat everything in sight, and drink my body weight in cab sauv. (No, I’m not a loud, messy, or obnoxious drunk, just mildly happy and no trouble to anyone.)
I take a subcutaneous injection of blood thinner everyday due to a clotting condition. I like to distract myself with something on my phone. I recently discovered your channel and now am usually watching you when I sit down to administer, and though I try to be really still and careful I alwAys end up shaking with laughter. It takes me easily twice or three times as long to inject and my stomach is now covered in bruises. But it’s still worth it.
Hope you're okay. Take care
@@inavahbulhgnis5113 oh I’m fine!! Hahaha 😝 super used to injecting. I’m just so careful when I do my shots so as not to cause bruising, because it’s not good to inject Dalteparin into a bruise, which can take up to a week to disappear. I know this and yet keep sitting down, putting on a Charlotte video, and preparing my injection. The ridiculousness of my self imposed suffering is making me laugh 😂
@@theirmanager5204 I'm sorry to hear about your ordeal. Hugs and prayers to you. Do you know about Charlotte's second Channel, called Just Charlotte??
Same! Factor v liden, every day for 10 years. Woop to blood clots, yay us. Lol
I know how u feel. I have 2 take a sub cue injection for the opposite reason. My blood is 2 thin. Ice helps the bruising go away sooner sometimes. Plz Stay Sweet, Stay Safe & Take Care Out There
I kind of agree with the dress code ones. People pay a lot for their weddings and they have themes that they pay for and would like the guests to participate. I think there are a LOT of entitled guests when it comes to weddings. For our wedding, I wanted everyone to wear costumes because it was meant to be Halloween themed, some people contacted me and told they straight up "would not do that", mind you I had already changed the venue from a beautiful farm to my backyard because people complained that the one hour drive to the farm was too much to expect. 😒 So when they complained about the costumes my husband and I agreed to make costumes optional and that everyone could just wear fall colors. Hosting a wedding in my backyard, became pricier by the minute, more expensive than it would have been at the farm with their caterer and a photographer. I had a family member offer to take the photos and then they never showed up, all I have of my wedding now are cell phone pics and Polaroids from a camera we had at home. Most people didn't even show up in Fall colors. They essentially just wore whatever the fuck they wanted. On top of that, people complained about the way we did the wedding, in our backyard and a venue that was five minutes away because it looked so cheap regardless of all of it costing me almost $5000. I originally didn't want alcohol at my wedding since my family has a few recovering alcoholics and I didn't want them to feel uncomfortable during the night. After complaints made by my husband's side and his friends and his insisant begging I got alcohol. My husband also bought two kegs. There's was a lot to choose from. Yet, my husband's friends took it upon themselves to bring more alcohol and sneak it into the venue. They got wasted, threw centerpieces at my mother, vomited all over the floor in the bathroom and almost cost me my deposit on the venue. My Dad cleaned it up for an hour. Then my new sister in law kept complaining about our wedding playlist and how it wasn't fun enough. We had like 7 young people at the wedding, most were older family members and very conservative and things had already gotten out of hand and they were leaving. My new sister in law snatched my phone out of my hands and changed the music in front of me. At that point I had enough, the groom was drunk, my parents were overworked and so I just got mad and quiet and that's how I spent my wedding night. So to an extent, I do think that you need to be a bit of a control freak and it's ok to demand a few things on your wedding day, and I think something as small as a dress code should be held in place. If someone can't respect something as small as a dress code, they probably won't respect your wedding either.
The problem is when people ask for “white tie” with very little to no knowledge of what it entails and think it’s just “very chic”. White tie events come with huge responsibilities from the hosts toward the guests and 90% of people having “white tie” weddings have no idea.
I get that but I can also understand it being just the party, I never heard of a dress code for the guests. That really sucks I would have lost it & I'm the lowest maintenance person you could meet lol
God, I'm so sorry to hear that. Of course you were upset - it's YOUR big day and no one could suck it up for 2 minutes to just be happy for you. I hope you have it better now though!
@@gabieldenstierna Thank you. ♥️ Unfortunately that seems to be the new theme of weddings. I think weddings should consist ONLY of people who want to support and love you and if I were to give advice to any would be bride, that would be it. Don't worry about inviting people to spare their feelings, if you don't feel like you want them there or you think they'll be trouble, you're probably right, and it's your day. Invite the people who want to see you at ease and happy that day. Those who make your life easier.
And yes, things have gotten much better, especially with the sister. We have a decent relationship now, but none of it would have ever happened if I hadn't started speaking up for the respect I felt I deserved. Something else I've learned after all these years - if they really care about you, they'll listen to how you feel and they won't get pissed at you for having those feelings. So, if someone has a problem with you or your choices or what have you, especially on your wedding day, they don't really care about YOU.
Not everyone can afford to buy it rent certain clothes, I would have to stay home.
Regarding the groomzilla with the “white tie“ dress code, it sounds like he made it known well in advance so that those who could not comply would know not to RSVP to the wedding. While I personally feel the point of a wedding is to celebrate with family and friends, if their goal is to have a fancy-schmancy shindig, that is absolutely their right. If people knew the dress code prior to sending in their RSVPs, then later want to not comply with it, that sounds like they are being the problem, not the groom.
I agree. I just think he was a little unbending tops about the flats situation.
They are only assholes if most of their friends/family can’t afford it- then they’re being inconsiderate... we don’t know the financial situation- if they’re all millionaires then it’s fair, otherwise not so much.
@@EH23831 very true
Agreed
Groom also said guests could decline and couple would absorb cost of seat. People that RSVP agreed to circumstances.
The white tie guy was a groomzilla but he’s an honest one, laying out all the clauses in his invitation. Guests’ choice to deal with it or not. Don’t most tell people what they want regardless of how unreasonable?! Lol
That wasn't groomzilla at all I fear. Everyone would be calling it quirky and fun if the theme was star wars or something. People who won't comply to a theme but still wanna attend a thing are so annoying
I tend to agree. I've gone to many normal weddings, but I've always declined the ones where there was something about it I didn't like. I've declined to go to "destination weddings". I've declined to go to a wedding held two days before Christmas. I would decline to go to a white tie event wedding. The couple was up-front about it and allowed people to decline without penalty. Accepting with those conditions and then either going against them or pressuring the couple to relax the code is bad behavior on the guest part.
I agree. I don’t really feel this was a groomzilla. Just a very strict wedding that they were upfront about. I would probably decline to go myself just cause of the costs for clothes for that kind of event but they are right in that they get to choose how they want their wedding. They weren’t even being that harsh about it really. It’s a tough call here but I would go with them not being assholes and people who accepted the invite then cried about the dress code being in the wrong. But since we only have this one post to go off of it is hard to really place anything. But yeah. Their wedding their rules. Their money.
Well, if it’s more important to them to have a formal event than to have a bunch of friends and family with them for the occasion, more power to them. It seems to me that they want to have a glamorous, gala-type event and if that’s their dream, they have every right to enforce the dress code. I think if they are surprised that family and friends are asking to be able to attend the wedding in less formal attire, or are declining to attend, they need a reality check. I expect that they will employ some sort of door attendant or bouncer to turn anyone who shows up looking too casual. For me and my spouse, it was all about the people we love being there for our wedding, and our wedding was casual as a result. People dressed up a little, but we would not have turned away anyone we invited as a result of their attire. Different strokes for different folks.
@@eskimberly7424 To be fair, it seemed like two older women didn't want to follow the restricted clothing choices. Everyone else - including the loved ones - didn't have an issue with it or had already gotten their stuff ready for it, so they'd have their people there. Maybe those two were just the usual entitled family members you invite because you never hear the end of it if you don't. We don't know their family structure.
Lol, I'd love it if people wore traditional clothes from countries they lived at/have a heritage in to my wedding. Traditional clothes are so much more interesting and often way more beautiful then the off-the-hook fashionable dresses/suits. If we ever decide to get married, I'll totally tell people they are more then welcome to show off their traditional gowns.
I attended a baptism once where the parents' extended family traveled from Nigeria for the ceremony and wore absolutely gorgeous traditional clothing. I'll never forget how beautiful that ceremony looked.
@@ttintagel I can imagine! Sounds great!
I think a white tie wedding is a little much for my garbage can taste however if that’s what they want you to wear then that’s what you wear. It’s their wedding. Dress up or don’t go.
Yes but this thing they want to attend isn't just some for fun optional casual party it's the matrimony of their loved ones, something very significant. Sure if you're just a friend maybe it is just like a party and you can weigh the options but close relatives such a the parents, siblings, and aunts/uncles of the bride and groom do not have that luxury. It's also not just dressing up, it's far too strict! They are asking people to hide or change their identity as a human being (hair color, piercings, tattoos), be physically and probably emotionally uncomfortable (Unable to change out of pain shoes after, all girls must wear not only a dress which some will not be okay with to begin with but the same style regardless of body type), and take on financial strain (Formal floor length gowns and tuxedos is not something the average person will just have in their closet) just so they can have "good" photos regardless on if they actually hold any real positive memories! That's having a wedding for the WRONG reasons.
@@jojogreengames not to mention, those white tie clothes will never be wearable again!! Imagine buying a nice floor length dress and heels for one occasion... rich person brain is disgusting... I’m not dropping an additional $200-400 on top of gifts on anyone’s wedding, not even my family...
Tbf I would like a general rule of people giving me snacks 😂
I'm there for it in theory, but I'm such a picky bitch, I would end up denying 90% of the offerings. Like, no chocolate less than Lindt or Ghirardelli, no funyuns or 'ranch', no snack cakes or fruit pies, etc.
ya know.....as a man....i think thats fair too lol.
Same
Same lol 😂
noted: women - luv da snacko's lol
While I may agree that the important part about a wedding is sharing it with those whom you want to share in your happiness. The guests were fully aware of the dress code when RSVPing, and as such can hardly complain now when being held to it.
fr tho
Exactly
Welp, sounds like that last groom and his family are racist. Sad for the bride.
If she's already apologizing for him, she knew he was racist before marrying him.
Im a half white/black dude and I was dating this girl in highschool for like 8 months or so. But, i went to hang with her family for the first time. (they invited us to a lake out here in NM) to hang out and bbq. So i go all the way out to the middle of no where, somthin like 2 hour drive from the city. There we all are, her dad, her mom, uncle and a couple of her mom and dads friends. We get to shooting the sh*t talking about this and that and after the sun went down and it was like midnight, we are sitting around the fire and the chat starts to die down a bit. So i decide to make some conversation, ya know, small talk. I ask - "so what do you guys like do do out here for fun" Her dad and friends get real quiet and look off onto the lake as they casually respond, (friend of dad) - "oh, this and that. mostly we like to shoot can's'" Im like, "ahh, so you guys can go shooting out here? thats cool. What do you guys just set the cans up on a ledge and *boom boom* ?" I was nervouse lol trying to seem interested even though i wasnt rly into shooting. So after i made the comment the dad adds in " Naw, we like to shoot 'afriCANs, mexiCANS and....*the rest of the group breaks out it laughter*" ..I dont know if they knew i was half black or if they were joking or not, but i can remember desperatly trying to fake a laugh befor i excused myself from the fire as inconspicuously as i could. I remember sitting in the camper feeling terrified and ashamed that my girlfriend didnt say anything.
@@thefifthaceassociation glad you made it home. Horrendous.
@@thefifthaceassociation My ex used to tell that horrible joke, along with half my family in Texas. I left Texas 20 years ago, for good.
Most of them stopped talking to me and unfriended me on FB 5 years ago, on the day I posted a selfie wearing a t-shirt with a pic of Bernie Sanders smiling and hugging a cat. I got a few IMs calling me a "communist" and one from a cousin saying I'm "dead to her". The shirt had no words on it, just that cute pic.
@@thefifthaceassociation I thought I was reading a Jordan Peele movie. Sh*t
Weddings are a colossal waste of money and a stressor no one needs. Get married privately then go on an epic honeymoon. 💥 Drama free and a wonderful start to a marriage.
Or, have a small ceremony and don't invite too many guests. Also, the bride and groom should understand that the wedding means something to them and the few closest to them. To others, it is an occasion to meet up and party.
Exactly. Plus after 3 yrs or less they are going to realize the wedding was too expensive and now they're broke. Nobody ever asks about their wedding pictures because they look as boring as it was. Go cheap.. take hilarious photographs or vacation, wedding dress hilarity pics. Ppl will always want to find out the story and hear a fun time plus what cool person you were.
My mom does tax preparation as a hobby (IKR?). So she ran the numbers and figured out that if my SO and I got married before the end of the year we’d get a MUCH bigger tax return. Total mathematical manipulation, but… had a quick wedding in Children’s Court (not a pedo… judge was family friend 😬) on dec 27, then a week long honeymoon in New Orleans the following April.
I’m told it was totally worth it! 🥳🤢😶🌫️
That's similar to what my parents did. I have a picture of their "wedding". They're in flannel and jeans cutting a beautiful wedding cake while friends and family (also dressed super casual) are in the background. They had gone and signed the papers the day prior with their witnesses and that was it.
YES!! I've never been married but that's exactly how I/we would do it!!
White southern family with “traditional views” doesn’t like African dress? I’m guessing they’d prefer the traditional view of OP working the fields. 🙄 If they bring up tradition again, I’d remind them it’s ~her~ tradition.
White supremacy is a hell of a drug
Feels bad for that bride for having to deal with the groom and his racist as family.
Prejudice was definitely the order of the day at that wedding.
Yeah, I love how they use the euphemistic code words “traditional values” to literally say, “my family and I are racist and we don’t appreciate you bringing any of your non white culture to our wedding.”
Oh, and I forgot the additional code words “from the South.” It makes me wonder how many white Southerners are shaking their heads every time another white Southerner willfully promotes that stereotype.
My friend is Nepalese and always wears a sari for formal dress. She is usually the prettiest dressed guest there. Wearing traditional formal clothing from your birth country actually honors the hosts. You are looking your best out of respect for them and the occasion.
The white tie guy isn't the a-hole since they were crystal clear about it from the beginning. Dress code wouldn't be my #1 priority for my wedding personally but it clearly is for theirs and they have the right to make their vision a reality.
Good point. I’m not sure if I agree he wasn’t at leat a litttle @-hole ish
If they’re not all millionaires then I think he’s being an asshole... if everyone can afford it, no problem- if they’re not able to afford it, it’s like saying choose my event or your budget. Entitled and inconsiderate
The problem for me is the bitterness and lack of understanding that their loved ones may not be able to afford such luxury. It’s fine to have a very high standard if that’s what you want, but you also have to realize that family and friends may not be able to attend, and that kinda sucks for everyone.
Like imagine your wedding where your grandma can’t be there but all your douchey college bros are. To each his own I guess.
I mean honestly, finding cheap elegant clothing isn't that hard now anyways. I bought a formal gown for $50 online and it ended up being beautiful and I love it.
@@HannahCobana I love shopping thrift. I have almost completely avoided retail for two years straight. I’m fairly handy at sewing and have worn a few thrifted and tailored dressed to less formal weddings.
I would be hesitant to do it for a couple like this for fear of being denied entry or embarrassed at the wedding. Hell, he sounds like the type of dude to make a fb post about how people wore “tAcKy UsEd cLoThInG” at his uppity affair. No thanks.
If guests accept terms,and rsvp yes to those terms, don’t try to change last minute. If you do NOT accept the terms, rsvp no.
I have a feeling people rsvp’d without realising that white tie meant dressing up like Downton Abbey formal events. The shoe comment puzzled me though, because there are lovely formal flats that would be appropriate
@@SheilaR.08 THANK YOU
beautifully worded
If somebody wanted me to wear white tie without being nobility oder CD, I would certainly ask, if they understood the implications. There are a lot of misconceptions, because white tie is not only a suit or a long evening gown, but entails for example no cut-outs, no open backs, and at the very least shoulders or arms covered (Stola, sleeves or gloves). That is a lot to ask.
@@stefaniebraun3319 AND....? They can look it up or ask the host, like Charlotte did.
@@mikhellen3267 I know what white tie is, but does the couple? Does the bride understand, that she has reduced her dress options considerably by choosing white tie? Does the couple realise that their guests need a place to change into their evening attire if that wedding starts before 18:00 and that it is their duty to provide it?
Do they just want to play dress-up? Do they just wish to implement certain elements of white tie? I would carefully ask before sending a rsvp because there are a lot of misconceptions. Imagine wearing perfectly suitable authentic traditional attire like kimono or kilt and the couple being mortified. I would not risk that.
when I got married I had people giving me dishes, mugs, towels and I STILL own most of those! I LOVE small gifts.. and hey I LOVE homemade gifts as well, as you said it's about people showing up not about what they give! And the dress code thing? I can see both sides of the argument...
💯
You can never have too many towels, blankets, bed linens etc. Useful things are the best.
So that last one, the groom and family seemed way to invested in someone's dress and not the actual wedding. Like the bride was okay and saw no problem but the groom went out of their way to insult the guest and the family gave dirty looks. Whenever I hear the term “southern values” I think most people knows what that implies. I feel bad for that bride and her family oh boy. His family and groom sound like terrible people.
Absolutely - at this point, whenever I hear someone talk about "Southern Values", I'm almost certain that they mean to say racism or homophobia, but can't explicitly call it that and so defaults to "traditional Southern Values".
@@zaramikazuki8374 100% totally its the traditional aspect. I feel so bad for the person to get such a mean message like that. Especially being called an embarrassment, like what awful person.
what happened to the good old southern hospitality I keep hearing about in movies and TV? SAD.
@@kimberleywilliams7802 The thing they don't tell you about southern hospitality is that half of it is just being an a-hole in a very polite way often with a smile on your face.
@@adriennestudaway893 facts
Here's the thing about the White-tie wedding. You can never please people. If you tell them it's a semi-formal or even casual wedding people will bitch. And it's usually the mother-in-laws and in-laws.
Of course it's the mothers-in-law that complain. They're from a generation that always had big traditional weddings, so smaller and more casual weddings are akin to sacrilege in those women's eyes. As far as the other in-laws, they may have been taught that traditional is the only way to go.
I did not know that
White tie is also expensive.
And someone will show up in jeans and flip-flops anyway.
Do you know what white tie is?
The Golden Globes don't even require white tie. Actual literal royalty does not NORMALLY wear white tie - it's reserved for very special events. No one has white tie clothes lying around in their house, or even at their local formal dress store, because most human beings will NEVER wear it.
When was the last time you saw a tailcoat in person? Exactly. Even if by some miracle everyone was actually able to source and afford those clothes, they will literally never wear them ever again.
"Spend $150 on a wedding gift or don't bother coming to the wedding." Wow! What a relief! That's one wedding I won't have to attend!
"Give money or don't do something you don't wanna do" 🤡 oof people
I think most weddings should stop at black tie unless its a friends groups that attends white tie events so you aren't asking everyone to buy new warddrobe. That said, since the white tie was announced so far ahead that people could plan. So mild a-hole I guess?
I agree. I’d say clueless or sheltered more than a-hole or entitled. I get the feeling they’re from a white tie kinda family so they probably just think it’s normal.
Yes but although they gave notice every loved one hopes to be part of your special day and have probably been thinking about it some time around when they started dating if not before then. It shouldn't be taken away from them nor should they have to jump through hoops and hurdles to attend if they haven't done anything wrong! They are asking people to hide or change their identity as a human being (hair color, piercings, tattoos), be physically and probably emotionally uncomfortable (Unable to change out of pain shoes after, all girls must wear not only a dress which some will not be okay with to begin with but the same style regardless of body type), and take on financial strain (Formal floor length gowns and tuxedos is not something the average person will just have in their closet) just so they can have "good" photos, that's what makes them groom/bridezillas.
@@jojogreengames I'll agree on the hair/tattoos, but white tie isn't inherently terrible when given that much notice - its plenty of time to decide its not an event for you and your budget.
There is a certain amount of etiquette and decorum as a wedding attendee, and the dress code is a part of that etiquette.
The hair color & tattoo restriction is a bit much (also, what's wrong with changing into flats? There are plenty of fancy looking flats that should be acceptable for white tie) but if you agree to attend a white tie wedding, I think it's the guest's responsibility to follow the dress code, imho
@@amstreater if I am not mistaken, it was mentioned that even their family had asked them to relax the dress code. So it doesn't look like a white-tie-events family.
And white tie is expensive. Tuxes won't do (the groomzilla was wrong there), only tail-coats, and ladies would need gloves covering their arms and real jewellery.
That kind of dress code is mostly for the royalty or something like embassy receptions. When common people get to attend such events, they usually rent the attire, because it's way unreasonable to buy one for just one single event.
I recently went to a wedding, and the bride and groom were so lovely. They didn’t really mind what you wore, gifts or anything. In fact, the photographer (not the filmographer) had to go early before they left at 11pm. The bride and groom were so nice and understandable (she had to go to bed as she has other weddings at the weekend also). I thought it was nice of them to let her go early, rather than being like “I paid you to stay the whole time”.
This whole “be grateful you were invited to my wedding” thing is so beyond me because I’m an introvert and going to a wedding is a huge emotional chore for me. So to tell me that I owe you a gift because you provided me food and a DJ and whatever makes no sense to me because most likely all you provided for me was a night of anxiety.
Yes!!!! Im actually loving the covid restrictions because for 2 years, there is no wedding to attend and now that the restrictions has loosen a bit, people still dont have big wedding and people are more understanding if I dont attend
Yes!!! Thank you!!!
Months after crazy proposal.
Him: Why aren’t you planning a wedding?
Me: Because I don’t give a f*ck about weddings. Let just get married and get that s**t over with.
Him: You’re a girly girl and you don’t want a wedding?
Me: I wear girly clothes and like girly things, but wedding are not among them. Besides, you know I am a quiet, introverted, loner.
Him: Okay, then why do you keep making me go to weddings?
Me: If I have to go, you have to go.
Besides, I like free food alcohol and mucic.
We went to an all white party in New Orleans on new year’s and eloped. We our “reception” consisted of us walking around New Orleans partying. ❤️⚜️🍾🥂🎉🎊
Wow. It really isn’t about you though? And you have the option to not go. You are incredibly entitled to think you’re doing the bride and groom a favor for showing up. Surprised you still get invited places Luciditi
@@mferrariish good job missing the point that this is about ENTITLED people who ask more than they should from their guests and act like their guests owe them.
I agree with the white tie event story 😅. They could be a little more chill. But then again, nowadays where everyone walks around wearing sports clothes and the first thing they see in their wardrobe, I miss events where people dress up in general. Even to the opera and to church people wear shorts and the likes. I'm west African and it's a given, that my family and friends will look bomb when I will get married, but it may be a cultural thing.
Whaaat? I usually dress in running pants when I'm home, but damn me if I ever showed up to a musical or opera without my finest attire!
I only go to such events because I get to „dress up“, that’s half the fun of it!
In the Philippines weddings are for all out.... or maybe that's just my circle.....
Yes! It drives me crazy when I pull up to the opera and I see people in jeans and tank tops, or shorts and a sweater and a messy bun. Like, you only get a couple of occasions to really dress up, and the opera is one of them. That’s part of the experience. Why wouldn’t you enjoy it and take that chance? This isn’t a movie theater. I understand that not everyone can afford ball gowns and tuxedos, but you can at least put in an effort. Sorry to go on for so long, lol, this is a big pet peeve of mine. 😅
I'm on the side of the dress code couple. They are free to set the dress code for *their* event that *they* are paying for, which is about *them* . I've been in White Tie and Black Tie at charity events and it was so magical, so I get the appeal! However, this couple obviously comes from a social background where their family don't get it, so I think their should really take everyone by the hand and make it super easy for their guests. The dress code should be carefully explained in the invitation (maybe a link to a website or RUclips video tutorial), the couple should probably take their parents shopping and just put them in the clothes they want them to wear, and they should absolutely strike a deal with one or two vendors to supply the whole guestlist! This would make it super convient for everyone: "Thanks to an agreement with XYZ Clothier ltd., all our guests will get 15% off on their White Tie rental if they mention our names at check out." Make it so people not only know what you want, but also where and how to get it. Don't let them look on their own for a White Tie ensemble if they didn't even know what that was five minutes ago.
Agreed
The only 2 requests my husband had for our wedding were 1) a bubble machine and 2) to wear his Otter in a Dinosaur costume shirt. We rented a bubble machine and had it running for both the ceremony and the reception and he wore his otter dino shirt under his dress shirt. He was so happy. :D
That is awesome!
I agree with you on the fact that having family and friends at your wedding is more important than the dress codes and the amount you spend on it.
I just looked up Kente print, that stuff is the bomb. It's gorgeous!
Lol for a moment I went “really she doesn’t know what a white tie event is?” Then I paused, realized I was thinking of a BLACK TIE EVENT and realized I have no idea what that is either
White tie is beyond black tie. Women should wear ball gowns and fancy schmancy cocktail dresses...gloves and tiaras are at home here. Men should wear tuxedos...like the FULL tux...including gloves and tails. Basically, think of the fanciest fanciful dress... royalty style..and there you have it.
@@KeleeS1275 holy shit... I think seeing the men in tails id be giggling the whole time
@@Catherine.Dorian. Thinking of penguins, are ya? :D
"I didn't realize that people kind of expected wedding as kind of this invitation to buy them gifts".... there was an episode of a Norwegian sitcom in the early 2000s where the lead character's sister was always on a date with a new Mr Right or crying because he dumped her. (She was like the comical hopeless romantic) And in one episode she talked about all the gifts one could get at a wedding. "I mean, I do need a new toaster! And an iron. And a..." and she listed off a bunch of things. Her brother (the lead) scoffed and said "OR you could just save up the money and buy'em without getting married to a loser!" (She didn't necessarily want to spend her life with a man, she just wanted a bunch of things and that was the joke XD)
I mean...the Idea behind Wedding Gifts was to Gift Things for the shared Home for the new Couple. So ...neccessary Things they don't needed before.
@@KaliqueClawthorne I just said same. Now it’s just a bunch of greedy people demanding or don’t bother expensive things. It’s ridiculous.
I never heard of a wedding on my country (Brazil) when it's not obligatory to brought a gift o.o. Of course, most people going to give more basic stuff, and normally the newlyweds don't care (most of the lists on the shops are filled with less expensive items, as other few more expensive) as long you brought something for the house, but you need to give something. The couple won't scream at you if you don't, but they and the other guests are gonna be mad and think you are not polite.
@@mangot589 I agree that it's distasteful to see all these brides and grooms complaining about it. Just to play devil's advocate for a moment, though: I wonder if the wedding industry or community tell people planning their weddings to go ahead and splurge a bit because you'll get X amount of money gifted to you so don't worry about it, and then the couple are convinced that wedding guests are obligated to give a certain amount and financial stress after the wedding lowers their threshold for losing their cool. Total guess, I haven't ever participated in planning any wedding.
@@NinaFMoretti Well, you’re supposed to bring a gift. My problem is they tell you how much you should spend. Just like Lily said, the original reason behind gifts was to help a new couple set up housekeeping. That’s why they always mention the ubiquitous toaster. Not so they could flip through glossy magazines and use a wedding as a way to get all their little hearts desire.
Usually, those types of weddings are either called off, or end after a few months together.
awww man i totally have one of these lol . My sister's fiance (now husband) had a hissy and uninvited my husband and me from the wedding when my sister was having a bridezilla moment. Three days later she called me apologizing for him saying "of course you are still invited, one day we will laugh about this ".......... he barely looked us in the eye at the wedding ensuring all future family gatherings will be AWKWARD.
I love the fact I click on Charlotte’s videos and each new day she has more subscribers. Get it girl! Thanks for bringing joy to my day❤️
I love that too!
The giy who wrote the aita white tie post isn't wrong he has informed everyone since the beginning and told them they don't have to come if they don't want to fallow the dress code and they are paying for everything. Everyone else who has a problem with it isn't paying for it and acts they weren't told from the beginning so NTA
I sort of agree with you except the changing to flats from heels it's floor length gowns how are you going to notice unless you're staring at people's feet
It's a special day and undoubtedly people should have their dream of that day become a reality but unless you live in a fairy tale book or a rom-com or Disney movie one would think you'd be realistic and flexible to a certain degree and if you can't then ya don't get to be shocked or play victim when you end up with handful of people at your wedding I mean it's you special day it's just a day to the guests lol
I whole heartedly agree
Totally agree. A white tie event is ultra formal. Full stop. The changing of the shoes is fine too imho due to gown length.
That said, I think it would depend on the group of friends and family one has whether it is in poor taste to even plan such a formal event.
Is this social circle used to white tie events? Do all the gents own a tux with tails? Do all the women have full length evening gowns on standby or the means to run out and buy a new gown for this event because OMG everyone has already seen me in those other gowns in my closet?
If they aren't white tie folks and are only doing this for a dream wedding, then their priorities are skewed.
Based on the fact that so many ppl are asking them to lighten up? Yeah, they are doing the king and queen for a day thing and treating guests like subjects.
Bad form, my dearest betrothed. Bad form, indeed.
If you invite someone to a party, you can suggest a dress code but it is a dick move to enforce it. They are guests, not employees. If I had an ugly sweater Christmas party, and someone did not wear one, oh well. People have elevated weddings to this insane status, but in the end it is a party and the people you invite are your guests. Show some hospitality.
The guy who picked a date that was good for his friend but not for his sister isn't an asshole unless he has a super close relationship with his sister. A lot of times friends are more important than siblings. The sister probably also has friends she feels closer to than her brother. I think she should support his decision honestly.
I agree with you
Agreed. If my brother gave me this choice, I'd ask someone to stream the wedding for me, and I would be all in on the preparations. His sister can certainly be disappointed to miss the wedding, but she's being a buzzkill with her attitude.
She doesn't have to act excited or give opinions. Since he doesn't care if she won't be there because she's having his neice or nephew, then he shouldn't ask for her input. Ask his BFF, who will be there, for his input, then. He's not wrong for his choice but he shouldn't try to pressure her to participate.
@@muuuuneridiculous. If you can't be excited or happy for someone unless you get to be involved in that thing, they're happy and excited about your self-centered. You and my girlfriends are going on a European cruise. I was supposed to go but my fiance has to get surgery then. So I had to back out of the trip. Doesn't mean I'm not overly excited that they get to go and experience that lovely trip. I'm excited to hear them talk about it. Because I can imagine a life that doesn't involve me and I'm not the center of my friend's universes. The sister should be able to do the same.
@@LLandS18 Think about this: Let's imagine ourselves in this situation.. . Why would I be thrilled for my brother who is choosing his friend over me? Also, the lady is pregnant. She also has her mind on other things. Clearly their sibling relationship isn't the best to start with if her brother didn't want to be flexible & land on a compromise. Why can't the brother/ groom focus on his wedding with those actively involved in it & the sister also focus on her baby/ family? They both have different priorities at this time. Both of their events are important. He can be upset she isn't acting excited, but what more can he do? He can't control his sister. He can't determine her due date, but he did have control over when to have his wedding. You also have the right to feel bummed that you weren't able to go on the trip. It's okay to have those feelings too, you know? It doesn't make you a bad person. His pregnant sister might not have the right energy to contribute to the wedding, especially since she's due any day, from what it sounds like. Would you be the person fixated on who didn't show up with the right energy to your party? If you focus on everyone else and allow them to affect your feelings all the time, you'll be sad at your own events. In this case, both siblings have the right to be mad. They both made choices. The groom chose not to change the wedding date, and the sister chose not to attend.
The guy who makes a big deal about the engagement ring reminded me of my ex. He gave me an artificial flower in our first date and insisted that I put it in my office. He kept pestering me if anyone in the office is impressed with the flower. I noped out of the relationship.
I know you get tired of making these videos (in general) sometimes, always having to give a quirky or happy expression. But I want to say THANK YOU for doing it. As you’re probably aware, your videos lighten probably a lot of our days, and make life feel a bit easier. As well, helps me to take life a little less serious (much needed!!)
Thanks Charlotte 🙏🏻 ❤️🙌🏻
As someone planning a black tie wedding I’m delighted to see the amount of support in the comments for the groom enforcing white tie! A dress code is a dress code, it’s there for a reason, a dress code suits the formality of the day and allows guidelines for people, especially helpful for people like me who would stress over not knowing wether I’m over or under dressing for an event. This goes for any dress code, casual, beach, festive, fancy dress etc etc, I think they’re great and as long as guests know before they rsvp I think they’re the best way to approach things!
And ideally the couple knows their guests well enough to know if the dress code they want is too much to ask.
@@ttintagel I think this is the key part. White tie is not accessible to most ppl. Even black tie can be burdensome, depending on the socioeconomic level of your friends and family. This weird fixation on “my day” blinds ppl to the fact that dozens to hundreds of ppl will be at these events and the goal is to UNITE TWO FAMILIES and send the new couple to the next level of their relationship with love and fun. It was OTT to tell that lady she couldn’t even change into flats for the reception. Plus what guy in this century wants to wear tails??? Lmao
That guy isn’t a groomzilla for wanting and enforcing a white tie dress code. They HAVE told everyone from the very beginning, and have made it clear that people can back out if they have an issue with it. People have dress codes at their weddings all the time. White tie is just more strict than most.
I don't think he's wrong but I do think he's kind of nuts...why do you want that for your wedding when you've had so many people tell you it's not practical? You'd really rather only have a handful of your loved ones at your wedding than just relax the dress code to black tie or something?
@Baba Ganush I know, I said he's not in the wrong. If he and his fiancee want a white tie wedding, it's none of my business. I just don't understand. Isn't the point of a wedding to celebrate with your loved ones? Why is that less important to them than whether one of their guests is wearing flats or not? I'm not second guessing them, they can insist on white tie. But I would never go to their wedding, and I wouldn't want to be friends with them either.
Exactly this. They told everyone with the invitation. And when people accepted, they got a reminder about the dress code via email. People knew well ahead of time what was going down.
Are brides not bridezellas for enforcing a $1,000 gifts or more policy? I mean, they tell everyone from the beginning...
I love the guy who disregards formal dress rules and attends wearing a button down shirt and his biker vest. If you see this guy at a wedding go talk to him, he's probably the only interesting person there. Weddings suck very hard.
People are free to have white-tie events, but it's unrealistic to enforce that dress code on a large group of friends and family. Many people are just barely willing to wear a suit, or not to wear white or black at a wedding. IMO, just put "formal", and either "day wedding" or "evening wedding" on the invitations, and trust your guests to know what that means. If they don't, turn a blind eye and enjoy the day. The wedding party is different, though. Be crystal clear about what is expected, and be okay with people who don't want to do that.
Agree. I think people may have assumed they weren't going to be so hard core about enforcing their preferences. I can see making it clear it's a formal event if you really don't want people showing up dressed for a barbecue, but who's going to insist that grandma spend the entire day teetering around in hooker heels?
@@carolinegrova8707 Absolutely. And pretentious Groom- and Bride-zillas should know there is nothing "formal" or "informal" about low or high heels. Ask Miss Manners or Emily Post.
@@phangirlable Of course, they can be rented, but point taken.
Honestly, they're entitled to enforce it and people are in the right to not attend. I'd be one of those not going.
Because white tie events are rare, it’s better and cheaper to rent the gowns and suits.
I've never understood the bride/groomzilla phenomenon. My wedding colors were black and purple. Told my bridesmaids to wear whatever dress they wanted as long is it was black or purple, they could wear something they already had if they wanted. I wanted them to be comfortable, I wanted them to actually LIKE the pictures they were in. And my pictures turned out great, we looked like a coordinated wedding with just the color matching and everyone looked HAPPY. I didnt have a dress code for my guests, they were GUESTS and were treated like GUESTS....I just don't get brides stressing out over things that do not matter.
I honestly don't think the white tie people are wrong... they told people they didn't have to come if they didn't like the dress code... it's their wedding just rent a tux for goodness sake... or not going is always an option. I usually agree with Charlotte, but this time I think she's wrong. He's not a Groomzilla.
Yeah I mean honestly...I'd love that. He wasn't one of the ones bitching about not getting $500-$1000 per person gifts... He just wanted everyone dressed REALLY nice. How many times in your life do you get to dress up like that?! I've had exactly ONE event in which I could get THAT dressed up and I'd be THRILLED to have an occasion to wear a floor length gown!
The dress code is not a usual reasonable wedding dress code. It pushes far past wanting guests to look nice for photos into enforcing love ones into an emotionally, physically, and financially uncomfortable bind. The events they want to attend isn't just some for fun optional casual party it's the matrimony of their loved ones, something very significant. Sure if you're just a friend maybe it is just like a party and you can weigh the options but close relatives such a the parents, siblings, and aunts/uncles of the bride and groom do not have that luxury. You can say they gave proper notice but the harsh reality is these close relatives have probably been anticipating the special day since they were know diapers. They are asking people to hide or change their identity as a human being (hair color, piercings, tattoos), be physically and probably emotionally uncomfortable (Unable to change out of pain shoes after, all girls must wear not only a dress which some will not be okay with to begin with but the same style regardless of body type, weight, ages, ect. ), and take on financial strain (Formal floor length gowns and tuxedos is not something the average person will just have in their closet and not everyone will get lucky to find one cheap) just so you can have "good" photos regardless on if they actually hold any real positive memories. That is having a wedding for the WRONG reasons. That attitude of oh well it's my day I want it I don't care is exactly what makes someone a Groom or Bridezilla.
@@jojogreengames but ultimately it is their wedding and no one but them matters.
@@jojogreengames Piercings can be taken out and tattoos (if not all over the face) can be covered for the day or days in question. Hair color is a bit of a different matter and personally I'd say just go easy with them on that one, but oh well.
If the guests have got a problem with the dress code, they should have brought it up with the couple at the time they received their invitation (or at the time they received the reminders of the dress code at the very latest).
And the thing about being close relatives ... sure, that's up for debate. About "anticipating the special day" that's on the guests, though. As far as I am concerned, that's a bit too much of entitlement, but yeah, depends a bit on a case-by-case basis. What if their sons/daughters, siblings, nieces/nephews never get the chance to marry? Will they then insist that they marry anyways (whom, haha?) so they get to attend the special day they anticipated?
Personally, I've never been invited to a wedding and I'm a bit sad about it, but I don't go pestering them about it because it's their choice whom they invite and it completely depends on their situation, which I can empathize with.
I mean not allowing to change shoes is so ridiculous tho
On Reddit, somebody commented on the guy with the pregnant sister. He makes their mom also choose between her own children. Sister is without mom in case she goes into labor. Groom also misses birth of new niece/nephew.
Well, Wedding is just one day. Even if his sister goes into labor, they wouldn't be pushing in the room with her. They can still visit after the wedding.
@@coralietavassoli7414 I don’t think he would be able to be in there anyway, but having his mom chose between daughter&grandkid and son is kiiiind of unfair :/
Adults get to make adult decisions, and deal with the disappointments without making it the fault of others / making others guilty for doing the same, no?
@Nicky L because giving birth can be scary (you can die and some women get ptsd from traumatic births) and some women have their mother come with them when giving birth instead of the husband.
@Nicky L and also because it’s a joyous day and experience people want to share with their closest family.
I disagree with #1
Now I agree that a wedding is for family and friends, specific clothing be damned. That said, that groom is also right. It's his wedding and he is allowed to do with it what he wishes so long as his fiancee agrees. He isn't making anyone go, he even said so himself that if they can't do it, then don't. If he cares more about the clothes than the people, on this particular day, that's up to him.
[nods] my big thing isn't that he's sticking to his guns or whatever. the thing is, and it's a Big one, the guest were told/reminded *_Repeatedly_* about the dress code From The Beginning. it wasn't something they sprang on anybody out of the blue. it was on the very first invites along with the ability to opt out if they chose to.
i've watched so many of these where things just popped into existence out of nowhere and people expected people to just toe the line.
this dude just says, "this is the theme. either plan on wearing it or opt out. no hard feelings either way."
so NA.
i also find it weird that on some of these she sides with the bride/groom for making decisions like that but then others she's against it... it confuses me.
I think people have the right to choose dress code in their own wedding. If it's not okay then don't go. They choose looks over family at that point keeping it so strict. Also I would never attend a wedding without a gift I think it is a tradition and decent thing to do ✌
Not if the attire is super expensive. Also, no tattoos and piercings..
Bringing a gift and being DEMANDED that you spend at least 150$ or don’t bother coming are two different things.
The right yes, but they're still a bridezilla/groomzilla for freaking out over it. That's what the tag is about, people enforcing strict standards for their wedding
Having zero wiggle from is alienating people for being poor. It just shows where your priorities lie. Says a lot more about you than your guests.
I agree with dress code and children stuff the gift, no.
Groom: girls, don’t breathe because I want Sharon to stand out :p
🤣🤣🤣🤣
My dad's best friend got married a while ago. He wanted his new wife to be comfortable with the wedding plans, constantly asking if it was what she wanted. They have been happily married and they absolutely loved the gift that I painted for them. Loved them dearly
I grew up in Chile in a very middle-class background and nobody had special requests like these ones. As long as you were not dressed in white like the bride, that was it. I attended quite a few weddings in my life while I lived there and well, it wasn't bad.
•If you planned a very formal wedding and you don't have to explain the dress code: *you are at that level*
•If you planned a very formal wedding and everyone on the guest list is complaining about the dress code: *you are not at that level* . *Don't insist*
even Royals are told what kind of dress code is expected in a event. So no, there is no "level". They may have the money and wanna have a fancy once-in-a-lifetime event. Let them enjoy their wedding
@@missnesi4525 sure, they can have a once in a lifetime event... they just have to be sure their entourage is on the same boat.
Seems like their parents, cousins siblings and friends were not.
You can be at that level but have people in your life who aren't, especially if like me you came from a small town but have been successful in your career. In which case have two receptions - a casual one during the afternoon and a formal one in the evening.
@@lisaleone2296makes sense, that couple could have done that. A more casual and relaxed reception for their parents cousins, siblings and old friends that were complaining about it and a fancy one for their fancy new friends or anyone who wanted to be in the white tie event.
@@madkrakatoa then their parents cousins and siblings should have not RSVP’d
The bitterness part exists also in germany. Always reminds me of one of my "friends" who asked behind the back who gave how much money to them as a wedding gift... not to mention that there where a bunch of jobless people in the mix and trying to toss as much as possible in it... yeah I was one of the jobless and yes I tossed her to the curb for that behaviour. When an over 15 years friendship is easily weighed out by the amount you give as a wedding gift... with the unspoken words of "I deserve more!" then you know what kind of person that is and you don't need that kind of treatment.
My kids sometimes sneak up on me when I’m watching your channel, the oldest son (11 yo) loves the “expectation vs reality” and the youngest (9 yo) think that ”weird things that you can buy” are a real hit. Yesterday the oldest asked; “mommy, do you watch her cause she looks like you or is it because you both are funny?” and I took it as a huge compliment! Gotta love ‘em! ❤️
Omg that's the sweetest thing ever!
Damn i'm so stupid, i was wondering why you kept saying yo like a rapper after the years of the kids and then i realized It means years old xD lol
Your son is so sweet! That is a HUGE compliment! ❤️🌹
Next on Charlotte Dobre:
Humble braggers part 2.
“My kids say I’m TOTALLY like Charlotte- hot, funny and just generally AWESOME… so, y’know…. “
🤣🤣 sorry, couldn’t resist! 😬
Honestly the White Tie event Groom didn't come off as a Groomzilla. The happy couple seemed very fourthcoming on the invitation. If you want to attend follow the dress code. If you don't know look it up.
The only thing that seemed too much here was refusing flat shoes, like the heels can be so tiring and really not good for your feet and no one would even see the shoes under floor length gown anyway. Otherwise I agree, having a dress code at your wedding is a valid choice.
Agreed. They didn't force or pressure people to attend, and they stated "white tie" from the get-go. They are even willing to swallow the cost of anyone who chooses not to go so late in the game. So while I'd definitely accuse them of having poorly ranked priorities in life, choosing aesthetic over loved ones... I can't exactly call him a Groomzilla over this.
@@adelest9500 As somebody who carries flats in my purse whenever I wear heels, I feel so bad for women that are forced to constantly wear shoes that can physically cause harm to women. My mother is a healthcare professional that saw firsthand the kind of harm women come to when wearing heels. One woman ended up falling and breaking her ankle so bad that she needed surgery to even go about repairing the damage.
I agree I think that would be fun but I also agree that the flat shoes is a bit much I was thinking for my wedding to get slippers and letting everyone change out and put your slippers on because I know I’m gonna want to
@@TiffWaffles Actually for traditional white tie theres only strict restrictions on mens' shoes. Women can wear flat shoes. Their only restriction is they should really be one colour (although tasteful embellishment is allowed). Most traditionally opt for mid-stiletto or kitten heels or even court shoes for older women which have more support. But as the main rule for women is a floor length dress women can get away with a lot more shoe-wise. I think the Groomzilla in this case needs to brush up on what White Tie actually means.
We “eloped” in our own living room. we had 7 people there, including the marriage commissioner. We didn’t tell anyone we were getting married. We had lunch in a nice restaurant after and left for our honeymoon in Mexico the next day. People where choked when they found out but we had a big party when we got back. It was perfect for us.
Love this idea!!
Honestly? I don’t think the white tie event guy wasn’t too out of bounds. At least for women, you can get a pretty nice and simple floor length dress from like Windsor for cheap. The shoe thing is a little much but it’s a lot easier to dress in code then some people might think.
I honestly didn't quite understand what he meant by the flat shoes, because as far as I know, there is nothing in the dress code that says you have to wear heels. Formal shoes definitely, but that does not equal heels. So I am wondering if perhaps the friend wanted to change into something that was far from formal.
@@indigoeye3874 I was confused to. The regency period was all flats and you could argue that was the height of white tie events.
People just need to know where to look. Brand new will always be expensive. Thrift stores have whole sections dedicated to ball gowns from proms past. If you know how to sew, you can modify them to your taste.
It just feels selfish to demand the couple conform to someone else's relaxed wishes when they were very clear, gave them plenty of time to figure out how to help them with their theme, and gave an out to not bother if they didn't want to.
You can't please everybody so I don't get why people expect the couple to bend their vision to please just a few guests.
It doesn't seem like too much to ask to me, but then I'd be the kind of person who'd be happy if most people followed the dress code and wouldn't judge the one or two that didn't.
I'd only judge if the mother-in-law had the audacity to show up in a wedding dress. That's a dress code we all agree on.
The only thing is his what they want to attend isn't just some for fun optional casual party it's the matrimony of their loved ones, something very significant. Sure if you're just a friend maybe it is just like a party and you can weigh the options but close relatives such a the parents, siblings, and aunts/uncles of the bride and groom do not have that luxury. It's also not just dressing up to look nice for photos it's far too out of bounds! They are asking people to hide or change their identity as a human being (hair color, piercings, tattoos), be physically and probably emotionally uncomfortable (Unable to change out of pain shoes after, all girls must wear not only a dress which some will not be okay with to begin with but the same style regardless of body type, weight, age, ect.) And take on financial strain (Formal floor length gowns and tuxedos is not something the average person will just have in their closet it might be less of a strain for some people rather than others but not everyone is going to find a such a grand outfit for cheap) just so they can have "good" photos regardless on if they actually hold any real positive memories! That's having a wedding for the WRONG reasons.
@@jadespades4237 It's far more selfish to expect EVERYONE to bend over backwards for someone's vision of a wedding when they're not even in the bridal party. You can have a dress code for the way people DRESS. Tattoos, dyed hair, and piercings are an extension of a human being and their identity, by trying to restrict this you are basically saying you just don't want them, period. Also, white tie is FAR too much simply having a formal dress code would have been perfect. By doing this it is far more likely only a few guests will actually be perfectly fine with this sacrifice and majority will have a hard time. There is a difference between wanting your guests to look nice and put together for photos and an outrageous dress code that requires everyone who wants to see their loved ones special day to be emotionally, physically, and financially uncomfortable. And yes financially too because not everyone is going to find their super formal outfit cheap or have the skills to tailor their own outfits without getting it professionally done. I mean no one is complaining for sweats and gym shoes here, they still want to look their best for the photos, but they also want to FEEL their best. Yes they gave notice but they event they wish to attend isn't just some for fun optional casual party it's the matrimony of their loved ones, something very significant. Sure if you're just a friend maybe it is just like a party and you can weigh the options but close relatives such a the parents, siblings, and aunts/uncles of the bride and groom do not have that luxury. A wedding should not be something to dread/stress about and plan for ages in advance if you are a GUEST. And all this just for a couple of "good" photos regardless of whether they actually hold any postitive memories behind them! That's having a wedding for the wrong reasons!
Hey, #tatertots. Can we all just take a moment to realize how many times that Charlotte has chased away your black cloud following you around. I know I've lost count. Thank you, 👸❣❣Everyone be safe and enjoy your beautiful day. 👊💜💙✌🏼
Hi #internetbestie!
@@datgaydangernoodle1315 Hey there. Missed you yesterday. Hope you're doing well. 💜
Hey #tatertot ♥️
Hi I really missed you
@@lulusfunvideos7071 Hi!! It's so great to see you, fellow #tatertot. Haven't seen you much lately. I hope you're doing well.❤
Even if I understand the sadness of the sister, it's very rude to ask to schedule a wedding just for you! OK you can't go, but if you love your brother don't sabotage his weddings and cherish preparations !
I know right? Like i get it. She's pregnant and that really sucks, but asking your brother to change the date, effectively throwing his best friend out of the wedding is also pretty sucky. I think the way the op went about it was also kinda sucky but I feel like this isn't as one sided as everyone was acting it was
Also, even if he did reschedule, it'd have to be a couple of months later if she's postpartum and can't travel immediately. No one can predict the exact day she would have the baby, so it made sense to accommodate the best friend's schedule more. However, he's kind of TA for trying to include her in planning when she's obviously not into it, knowing she can't attend. It's an issue with timing.
White tie is the most formal of dress codes. That means long, floor-length gowns (evening, not ball gowns) for women, think beauty pageant dress. Do feel free to break out the tiara for this as it would be appropriate, also long white gloves if the dress is sleeveless. Men, black slacks and black cut-away tail coat with white shirt, white vest and white bow tie, shiny black shoes. Generally only appropriate for an evening event. In order to look good, the men’s outfit must be tailored to fit, no off the rack, takes some practice to wear well and comfortably. (A certain US President wore an ill-fitting version of this for a dinner with the Queen of England)
I mean I think the dresscode thing is totally reasonable. They're throwing a huge party and they want this certain feeling. It's practically a dress-up/motto party that just happens to be a wedding as well. They told everyone way in advance, they were clear that declining because of this is fine, people complaining to them now just means they didn't bother googling white tie beforehand.
Completely agree. Everyone has their own standards for a wedding and people shouldnt complain just because its not what they would do. They were very clear
True but the flat shoes bit was unreasonable don't you think? people get old and can't wear heels all day
Lol, that’s the best way to alienate your whole family and lose some friends. Why do ppl should spend hundreds of dollars on an outfit they’ll never wear again?
@@piyam5000 definitely, especially because the dresses are floor length anyway!
Why do people think that white tie event clothes have to be expensive? Where I'm from people can still rent a dress or tux. Turkish clothing stores sell evening gowns for 50 bucks. Nowadays people can't be expected to wear appropriate clothes in general. I've seen people wear shorts to church and bring backpacks to the opera and the likes. Pretty annoying for anyone wishing to have at least one place remaining where people dress up. We don't even have really formal dances and balls anymore nowadays.
Its my Birthday and i knew I wanted to see what Charlotte had to share....Awesome as always.....props Ms. Dobre...
I'm currently also dealing with a Groomzilla at my job. Best thing is - we are not a wedding venue, we're a church. Really?
Please tell the story. What's he doing, lol?
@@TiffWaffles Checking in daily/weekly. Arriving with event coordinators, a sound team, caterers etc. Really? It is a church hall, not a wedding venue! Calling constantly to check if the hall is still theirs after I told him 100 times - after the deposit is paid, it's yours for the day. Calling me on my private number (while I was in quarantine with COVID), after office hours, to gain entrance to the premises. I am an admin clerk, not an event coordinator. The hire of our church hall is a favor and not something we really allow to community members that is not part of the congregation as we have services on a Sunday and it is a self-cater situation. Their event is scheduled for a Saturday. I also explained that to him, and after their insistence, granted them the favor. I feel it's like a situation that you are already getting a favor, for cheaper than a wedding venue, not a wedding venue, and now you are approaching it as if you are doing me a favor and this is a wedding venue. It's just annoying.
@@annekevanwyk4975 where I come from there's some churches that have areas set up for venue with a kitchen where it would be a self cater sorta deal ( so that's what I'm picturing in mind reading your story ) it sounds like either his bride has put him up to this or somewhere along in his life he got it in his head that he is responsible as a groom to handle some things... one last thing comes to mind is that he might be trying to save money by event planning himself instead of hiring someone to do it for him... I wonder if he assumes that since you work for the church & that even though it's not necessarily something you do for the public that somewhere down the line y'all have hosted a wedding that's similar to what he's having... now having said that & no matter what the case may be... & especially since he's calling you on your personal # ( which you probably gave for emergencies & whatnot & didn't think he'd abuse said privilege) what you should do is speak with your pastor & explain the situation do pray & ask God to show you exactly how to approach everything beforehand & the words to say. Once you speak to the pastor come up with a set of guidelines going forward & decide with your pastor if maybe he or you or the both of you explain said guidelines to him either in person or on a conference call & maybe also it be best to ask the bride to be present. Explain to him that this is in fact a favor & while yourself & the church would love nothing more than for that to be the holy ground where which he takes his vows that this is what's expected in return for said favor... maybe also suggest to him that he's focused too much on what can go wrong instead of leaning on God's grace for the situation. Tell him yes the place is yours & in order to asuade any fears of losing the agreed upon favor that it might help settle his mind if he pay the down payment fee sooner in advance. Now I say the next with caution, if & only if you feel it be right for the situation to offer your services to be of extra help with such plans for the wedding that you could take some tasks off his hands and handle them for a fee should your job with the church allow for it. Maybe also ask the pastor to speak with him privately concerning his wedding planning stress. Men handle things differently than women do. I once read a study where they hooked up men & women to read brain scans of activity concerning emotions while the women basically tells the man what is upsetting her. They found that often times men got more stressed than the women by & largely but that the difference being that the stress got more intense because men are more oriented to try & fix it for us & when they can't they may not say anything but carry a lot in them, whereas the women just wanted them to listen & let them know they were there & hear that it would be ok. The men have a hard time with this because they see it in a problem solving way as opposed to women just wanting the comfort that they care... maybe he's going overboard for some unknown & unforseen reason & maybe the comfort that a man of God would hear him out would help... hope this helps you & I'll absolutely say a prayer for the situation 😊🙏❤🙏
On a side note... in just about everywhere I go digitally & when I can I've been leaving a gofundme link 👉 gofund.me/b0736145 👈 this is for my family... my mom is at the end of her battle with cancer & taking care of this fine lady until she takes her leave... my dad suffered a 3rd heart attack a month ago & this is the only way I could think of to help pay for meds, bills, things that we need & ultimately a funeral... if anyone can help it'd be much obliged & please also pray for us & share the link if you like... most people don't respond for reasons on God knows why... so if no one does it's ok I understand... I know Charlotte once joked about a scammer saying I'll pray for you or that I think she thought that would be their next line or something like that & I'm not sure which vid it was since I've recently found her & been binge watching when I can... I helps given all the stress ! I honestly do pray for others though I ask God to bless everyone that's ever read any of my comments whether they donate or not... maybe tell a little of my story to the groom... life isn't perfect but that's what makes all the good moments have the ability to be appreciated that much more... God bless y'all, Sim 😊🙏❤🙏
The white tie guy is 100% not at fault here. He was clear about everything from the get go, people responding and later trying to negotiate is just rude. You knew what you signed up for.
agreed!
Dude, I’m 5’0”…only guests I’m going to be taller than at my wedding is my toddler nephews…that couple going on about how the bride had to be taller is ridiculous! 🤣
If someone told me my wedding gift had to cost 150 bucks I'd go on a spending spree @ Dollar General and buy as much useless shit as possible, and in the box I'd put a note letting them know it's trashy to require a monetary value so I bought them a bunch of trash.
Ha! You just reminded me of a story my roommate once told me, about a sister who invited a long-time friend of the family (an artist whose commissions regularly brought in 5 figures) to her wedding, knowing he planned to gift a piece of custom art. But then she went on a bit of a bridezilla rampage and, among other demands, imposed a minimum gift value. The artist didn't openly say he disapproved of her priorities, but he "respected her wishes" by choosing a food processor from the registry and auctioning off his art ("of indeterminate value") for charity instead. Personally I'd rather have the cool gadget and as a rule I don't think it's a good idea to gift people decorative items, but the sister was the sort to show off family connections and would have coveted that art. It was a definite blow to the ego. But hey, it was her wedding and those were the instructions!
But the wrapping paper needs to be next level
Love the idea!!! My niece had 6 or 7 baby-related parties between the time she learned she was pregnant and the baby’s arrival-from the baby shower, gender reveal, naming party, photo parties (one before AND one after birth), to whatever those parties were were that she held. Each time, she’d emphasize that gifts of an X amount of dollars were required, even if we couldn’t attend, and if we attended, we had to pay for our food and hers (she is a single mom, so we didn’t have to pay for her husband, luckily). Useless crap from a dollar store would have been a great way to meet the spending requirement AND cause her disappointment at the same time.
As a family member, I was obligated to attend, but nobody was in attendance toward the end, and she had absolutely no idea why people weren’t there to celebrate with her.
Gloriously petty. You are my hero.
When my niece got married we were formal (fathers familu) her mom's family showed up like they were at a BBQ. Jeanss, shorts, plain tee's. Seemed very disrespectful, couldn't bother with at least Sunday attire. Not sure it bothered her but every single one of them, at least 25 or so.
i have never attended a wedding where someone wore a casual outfit. some 15-year-old wearing jeans (rebelious phase lol), but that's it
Hello from Central Australia!! My rainbow hoodie and spud beanie arrived!!! Yippee!!!
I once went to a wedding of one of my friends that was super casual. Everyone was wearing shorts and t-shirts. The bride had a cute shorts set on, and the groom wore jeans and a t-shirt. I was overdressed! I wore a light blue skirt suit, which I thought was appropriate, since she told me it would be casual. I just didn’t realize how casual it was! We had a good time though!
When I think of what these Groomzillas might look like I see fedoras, neckbeards and samurai swords...idk why
😂😂😂
I’ll never see them any other way, now lol
@@CreativeCreatorCreates oops haha
@@missmama919 it’s genius, really lol
@@lordchaa1598 totally! *tips fedora*
I agree with the “white tie” groom. If you’ve laid out the dress code in advance, people should respect it. The downside of a dress code so strict however is you may have several people who won’t show because they don’t want to spend that kinda money on the attire. So would you rather have a wedding where only 20 people show dressed to the nines or 80 people show dressed nicely?
on the flip side, it's actually a rather cunning way of downsizing how much you actually have to put out for venders. if only twenty people show, think how much less you have to pay for food and drink!
it would be an introverts dream... pretty sparkly fancy clothing but only a few people to deal with.
Finally, Entitled Grooms! Been waiting for this!
If you don't come from a family that regularly does white tie events, it should be explicitly clear what that means and don't be shocked if a lot of folks decline. You're basically asking your entire guest list to be part of your wedding party. That said, I love white tie, it looks so cool!
It's gorgeous, but so expensive and uncomfy. Not everyone can manage it.
For the pregnant sister drama, this does depend on if it was before or during covid, that's an important dual that we don't know. Anyway, I had 2 VERY pregnant friends at my wedding, 1 who was 6 days PAST her delivery date and the other who was 7 days AWAY from her delivery date. We had even talked about having the (now late) baby be our ring bearer, but nope, niece didn't show up on time lol! So I kinda feel, as long as the wedding isn't miles/hours away, the pregnant sister could attend if she wanted to. At least attend the wedding and leave the reception early or not go to the reception at all or something along those lines.
My 2 besties took great delight in running (and I do man running) up to me and jumping up and down saying in singsong voices "The babies are coming! The babies are coming!" I was like "NOT on MY day! Stop trying to steal my ThUnDeR girls" in my best whiny bridezilla voice impression. At which we would all fall about laughing. Even though they were actually jumping up and down trying to induce Labour, but it was after the ceremony, so I didn't care at that point. I kinda liked the idea of 1 or both babies being born in my wedding day. Little disappointed they couldn't oblige. Rude😉😉😉🤣🤣🤣
Oh and just in case anyone wondered about the deliveries, the lady a week away from her d day went into labour the day after my wedding (wedding was a Friday) and gave birth the next day (Sunday). The 1 who was now 8 days late was a little jealous lol. She finally went into labour 6 days (on the Thursday) after the wedding and gave birth exactly 1 week after my day(at like 4 minutes past midnight on the Friday)! Both babies were prefect! Hubby knew we couldn't leave to go on our honeymoon until AFTER the babies were born. They were my 2 best friends, what else could I do but wait until AFTER the babies arrived to go? Hubby was super understanding though, luckily lol
I just have to add that the way the groom is behaving about it all is a little bit of an a-hole move. BUT, pregnant sis isn't being perfect either. There could be some wiggle room here. There can always be compromises
I changed my wedding date TWICE and the location once to accommodate family, sadly mine. We were doing it abroad, and little brothers GCSE's started 2 weeks AFTER the date (?) So we moved it to the September and then mum's idiot (now ex) bf refused to fly out regardless, and mum wasn't brave enough to fly alone, or only with my younger brother, so we moved to the UK. It was not the wedding of our dreams, but everyone we wanted to be there WAS there, and that was what mattered in the end. Again, there can always be a compromise.
@@leannes1083 compromise isn't always possible. The groom's best friend could have been military. Not all of us are able to control every variable.
As a fan of masquerade balls (and growing up in Louisiana with formal balls all year around), I can guarantee you that a White Tie gown can be rented for $100 and up. A White Tie tux can be rented for $60 and up. High school prom dresses and tuxes cost more than White Tie clothes these days. You're not going to tell me none of these people have ever dropped $500+ on prom for their kids, including hair, nails, etc...
This groom and the bride told everyone over a year ago that this would be a White Tie affair. They had a whole year to prepare. They RSVP's to say they understood and agreed. Now, they're deliberately trying to sabotage the wedding of someone they claim to love. The guests should be in a special Entitled Guests feature.
A wedding only happens once. Maybe this couple has never had anything nice and they wanted to do something special for once, probably never to experience it again. I feel so sorry for them having such terrible "loved ones."
A lot of people don’t know what white tie is though. So I think part of the problem is the couple assumed people are familiar with that (which shows they’re probably from money). People who were planning to wear a cocktail dress probably thought that was what white tie was. Clearly of course you know what it is because you attend such events (though my understanding is that’s black tie, not white tie, though maybe they’re extremely fancy masquerades! My understanding of white tie is it’s what you wear to a White House dinner or to be knighted… perhaps it’s different here in the UK) but not everyone has that knowledge because they aren’t from a background or culture or community where they’ve needed to know. I think it would’ve been cool if the couple had included information about what a white tie outfit is and includes, listed some recommended rental places (although my understanding is white tie is usually tailored to you, not off the rack) and some typical prices. That would’ve helped people not only understand what it was (instead of making people guess or spend hours researching) but also make an informed decision about whether it was something that they could afford or wanted to pay for.
@@amstreater They were told specifically what it was by the bride and groom. From top to bottom, the bride and groom told them what White Tie meant for clothing attire. The woman who posted the pic of a cocktail dress was one of their mothers, who was with them at the initial planning of the event. She knew. They all knew.
@@amstreater But if they don´t know what white tie is, why wouldn´t they google it or ask?
I hope she pawned the engagement ring to pay down the money she had loaned him. This woman may be slow on the uptake, but she finally found the courage to dump this a-hole.
Courts have ruled that the ring must be returned. It is not a gift outright but a gift with the expectation of a marriage. If the marriage doesn't happen, the ring goes back to the groom. Obviously each couple will handle it their own way but if she calls off the wedding and he wants the ring back she has to give it to him.
I was waiting for a twist at the end of that one…like, the bride to be found out the ring was cubic zirconium. 🤣
@@hectorsmommy1717 I wonder what the courts would have to say about the money she loaned him. I guess it would depend if they had any kind of proof of it being a loan, where the expectation would be to pay it back. I wonder if they would just write it off and rule that they’re even.
@@hectorsmommy1717 Damn! You're right. An engagement ring is a "contract" for an expectation. Otherwise, getting engaged and pawning the ring would be a grifter's dream. Thanx for the education!
@@temporaladvisor3958 Each couple deals with the breakup and finances their own way but when it has been taken to court the courts always side with giving the ring back.
11:54 Also file this under "How to tell someone you're racist without saying that you're racist." Also, what a way for bride to find out what kind of family she was marrying into. Too bad she didn't find out sooner.
Charlotte's hair is so beautiful. The colour looks amazing on her! The makeup is gorgeous too. 😊
The amount of people in this comment section who don't understand how pregnancy and childbirth work is saddening. Childbirth isn't like going to the bathroom; you can't just hold it in until later. When the baby decides to come, everything stops, period. Objectively, it's easier to reschedule a wedding than the birth of a baby. Yes, it's inconvenient, but so is child-rearing in general. No one is more inconvenienced by a woman's pregnancy than the pregnant woman herself. It's not like she got pregnant just to make her brother's life harder.
In any case, the brother isn't a groomzilla for choosing to prioritize his friend over his sister; none of us know enough about their relationship to say that he should just value his sister more. What makes him a groomzilla is getting upset that his sister is no longer "enthusiastic" about a wedding she can't go to. Because God forbid, she be more concerned about her pregnancy than her brother's wedding. What makes him think that his wedding is any more important than her kid? People get married all the time; for all we know, he and his fiance could get divorced in less than a year. He's being entitled.
I understand childbirth very well, even though i havent had a child, i learned about in class
Was looking for this comment a--hole reaction but not TA for the choice who knows the relationship between them all especially since family isn't just by blood
that and also her risking her and the baby's life so close to the due date for a wedding is insane. he really thinks that just being pregnant in general is easy. if you don't follow doctor's orders, bad things can happen. i've never been pregnant and can't but I thought THAT was at least common knowledge. I feel bad for any future children his wife tries to carry bc he will just think it's something people should be able to handle.
While I agree generally, but what exactly is stopping a heavily pregnant person going to a wedding (considering she's not in a risky pregnancy)? It's a genuine question. If she'd have to fly to the event then the refusal is understandable. But if she's just transported there by a car, and has seats, refreshers the whole time, and someone pays extra attention to her why can't she come? What's the difference between sitting at home or sitting at a wedding reception? Is there any valid medical reason why she can't go, or is it just a fear of what ifs? I'm asking because I'm confused.
@@hungidran1 all pregnancies are risky. ALL of them. Every single one. You're not taking a poop. It's a baby. This literally should be common knowledge and that's why I sound a little mean in my response. You can't expect someone to TRAVEL long distances so close to their due date. It doesn't matter how many pee breaks she gets. All the walking around puts stress on the body and can escalate problems. Many doctors tell women that are at higher risk that during the 3rd trimester, sometimes even their WHOLE pregnancy, they should be on bed rest.
I disagree about the brother who "chose" his best friend over his sister. I don't think it's fair for the sister to ask him to move the wedding date because she's pregnant. She can still be a part of the wedding planning and a "part of" the wedding. While he chose the dates because they align with his best friends availability, it is important to have his friend who he probably hasn't seen in a long while at his wedding. A far trip is something that takes a lot of time and money, and it's okay to value and accommodate having someone emotionally dear to you who you don't see often at your wedding.
I get the sister may be upset, but it's also not her day. She gets to see her brother a lot. And it isn't like he's not inviting her. She's invited, she just may not be able to attend due to her pregnancy. But if she still wants to be a a part of the ceremony/festivities she needs to suck it up a little and refocus on the entire point of the celebration. It's her brother's wedding, he's marrying the love of his life. She needs to either step up and be a good sister or step down and pout privately.
I'm a woman and if I knew I would not be able to attend my sister's wedding due to a pregnancy, I would be sad. But I'd also never expect her to plan around me. I would do all I could to show her my support and love, and just cope with my sadness over missing out.
He could have kent looking and chosen a date they BOTH could attend.
Agreed.. also for the sister unless she’s going into labour the day or or before it doesn’t mean she cannot attend, she could go into labour a week later or even a week earlier just because the date aligned with the week that marked her at 39weeks doesn’t mean she can’t go.
@@Freya778 apparently not.
I agree with you. The sister imo is completely entitled! Unless her Brother was the dad, her Baby is not his problem! She could still be happy for him. The audacity to expect other people scheduling their life plans around your fammilyplanning ykes!
Floor length dresses? How are they going to know if they have flats on they're covered by the dress???
@Baba Ganush Not going to be in considerable pain just because the shoe would show when I stick my foot out to trip up the shallow AHs at the reception.
4:45 I think the couple are in the right. People could have, and still can opt out. Like they said, they paid a lot of money for their photographer (something I'd thin you would appreciate); and they want it to look how they want it to look.
I spent crap all on my wedding. I basically just made it a party at a venue. No bridesmaids no groomsmen, nothing. I don’t like playing favourites with friends and I just wanted people to have fun. I had a round the world trip honeymoon though. The most stressful thing I did was organising the celebrant.
I think the dress code "groomzilla" was being pretty reasonable. Like, maybe a 3-4 on the groomzilla scale. It's your day; you have every right to enforce a dress code and it didn't seem like they were being in their guests face about it. He said multiple times that they gave guests multiple chances to back out if they weren't comfortable with the dress code. To me, it's in the same vein as saying it's a no kids wedding and then someone brings like, 4 of their kids. The bride and groom made their decisions for a reason. Yes, it may be inconvenient for you, but his mom was *actively* buying a cocktail dress that was not in the dress code. If the couple is giving you an out, either take it or suck it up for a day
I agree, they honestly didn’t sound unreasonable and as they said - people agreed to the “terms” when they RSVPd? Like it seemed they had months to prepare for it
I'd show him. I'd sew my fingers off and show up in full-on Marie Antoinette French neoclassical court attire. Can't say it's not formal.
@@SheilaR.08 If you'd show up in an inappropriate outfit for the wedding of a beloved one who specifically said a certain dresscode in the pictures would be important to them you're just entitled. It seemed like their family would be able to afford (or rent) attires according to the dresscode since the mother didn't have issues to buy a new dress, and they gave plenty of time to organize it. Googling a dresscode isn't hard and if you're not sure the dress you found would be correct you could just ask the couple if it's ok.
If people wish for a certain dresscode to feel fancy on their once in a lifetime event just follow their rules or don't show up... you can express yourself any other day
@@midnaphai THIS! Like, it is one day. Invitations go out MONTHS before a wedding, if not a year. There was plenty of time for guests to find something to wear, plan to rent things, etc. instead of actively being like, "Hmm, no. I know that you *said* that this was important to you. But I'm gonna do what *I* want, because that's more important" It's also not like the couple put a budget minimum on attire either. Renting a tux - okay, may be expensive. But you can probably find something secondhand that would be affordable and appropriate for a white tie event. And if not, then, I'm sure the couple would miss them, but again, they're giving people an out
The dress code is not like other wedding dress codes though, it pushes far past wanting guests to look nice for photos into enforcing love ones into an emotionally, physically, and financially uncomfortable bind. The events they want to attend isn't just some for fun optional casual party it's the matrimony of their loved ones, something very significant. Sure if you're just a friend maybe it is just like a party and you can weigh the options but close relatives such a the parents, siblings, and aunts/uncles of the bride and groom do not have that luxury. You can say they gave proper notice but the harsh reality is these close relatives have probably been anticipating the special day since they were know diapers. They are asking people to hide or change their identity as a human being (hair color, piercings, tattoos), be physically and probably emotionally uncomfortable (Unable to change out of pain shoes after, all girls must wear not only a dress which some will not be okay with to begin with but the same style regardless of body type, weight, ages, ect. ), and take on financial strain (Formal floor length gowns and tuxedos is not something the average person will just have in their closet and not everyone will get lucky to find one cheap) just so you can have "good" photos regardless on if they actually hold any real positive memories. That is having a wedding for the WRONG reasons. That attitude of oh well it's my day I want it I don't care is exactly what makes someone a Groom or Bridezilla.
I've never seen/been to a wedding where you bring a gift to the actual wedding. I've brought money (mostly an Italian thing) to a wedding. Isn't that what bridal showers are for though?
We don’t have bridal showers in the UK (although perhaps people have adopted them as a trendy American thing) so i believe people bring gifts to the wedding. I’m
Not sure though as I’ve never bought a wedding gift (most weddings I’ve been to the couple has specifically said no gifts are expected but sometimes had a honeymoon fund people could pitch into - since I usually had to travel internationally, my presence was my present)
This is what I was thinking. Where I am from you bring a gift to a shower, a gift of “money” to the wedding. It’s pretty common here
I've never been married but been to several weddings and I was told that the etiquette was to either buy a gift or donate a sum that would cover the meal you're getting (approximately). So, that's basically what I've done each time. Since it's usually a multi course meal + drinks, the donations were quite substantial (luckily I'm alone, so it doesn't add up). However... if I were to receive a mandate on it they'd get nothing, I simply wouldn't go. I don't get why so many of these horrible people still retain their friends. How do they even make friends with those attitudes? I seriously don't understand... Do people love to be bullied that much?
I'm 65 I've never been married I have no children and only one friend. I treat myself very well my life is peaceful and stress free . I will admit that I do experience schadenfreude at the expense of those who have no self awareness and are caught up in the self inflicted drama of their lives .
standard wedding etiquette allows UP TO A YEAR AFTER THE WEDDING to send a gift. Maybe that's slipped thru the cracks as it seems very few people know basic etiquette or even manners. That person is TA. Oh, and no, no one is obligated to gift at all. Period. People are so money and status driven these days. It's a nice thing to do and probably 99% of people Do gift, but it's not why one gets married, is it? Is it?
I love it when she says, “The Audacity…”😅😂🤣
I would have loved to have a Kente pritng wedding, it's absolutely gorgeous colors!😍
It'd also have been super expensive. It's hand woven at a loom. To ask the guests to wear it would be a bit difficult, but decor should be interesting.
The last one really sent me over the top!! How dare someone say that someone's cultural formal attire isn't appropriate! The list on why this pisses me off is too long for this forum! But ugh what a piece of💩💩!! 😤😤😠😠😡😡😤😤
Right? The bride sounds lovely. Not sure how a guest in a beautiful dress can embarrass the groom. She is even from Ghana. Its not like she was some white girl from Jersey wearing it. Its her culture. What an A-hole groomzilla
@@seraka7386 uh - because they’re racist AF I would think....
@@seraka7386 I totally agree! Come on now 2022 is right around the corner! Some peoples attitude you'd think it was 1822! SMH 😡😠😤😡😠😤😡😠😤
Thank you Charlotte for being who you are. :)
If I had someone that wanted to dress in a traditional dress like the one to my wedding, it would be awesome. Wouldn’t even have to ask if it was ok with me nor my groom.