Quite a while back, one of my former students asked me if I could walk him down the aisle. It seems that his family didn't approve of him, his wedding, his life, or much else even though he put himself through school and is an amazing industrial engineer now. I am still honored to this day to have been able to give him away to his new hubby. At the rehearsal, I found out that he was told that his sister was going to try and get him a tux but couldn't afford it so I was very happy to loan him mine (the borrowed item)... And failed to teach him how to tie the bow tie (I can teach some things but can't seem to teach that). Anyway, the wedding was beautiful and I managed to NOT run my wheelchair over anyone's toes... Shocked emoji here. Something borrowed ALWAYS from the heart and the kid returned my tux dry cleaned and in perfect condition.
After hearing all of these stories about bridezillas on a budget, I think I'll just get a nice dress and have a small ceremony under the stars with only the minister and a witness or two to take pictures, maybe at the beach or a quiet field. I get the feeling these people only want wedding ceremonies as an excuse to show off and be fancy for one day.
Two weeks after I got engaged, my brother and his girlfriend announced that they were pregnant. Shortly thereafter, I had a great day at their wedding. Then, a had a wonderful time at my own wedding, with the gals in my wedding party wearing jewelry I gifted them in thanks for their friendship. There are enough happy times to go around and your bridal party should be appreciated.
We also gave my bridesmaids a necklace and earrings as their gift, which one of my Mum's friends had made (She makes amazing jewelry that she sells). And the groomsmen were given ties and a handkerchief.
i still have the jewelry locket my friend got me when i was her bridesmaid, she seen it in my jewelry box a few weeks ago and started crying that i still had it! her maid of honour gave hers away and my friend lost hers in a fire on their honeymoon (their rv was in a wildland fire) so of course i gave it to her even though she is divorced now! she is giving it to her daughter on her birthday and i think that is so sweet.
In re: "Something borrowed" Years ago, I was working in an Intensive Care Unit. My patient was severely disabled and had terminal cancer. Her daughter was getting married that day, and my patient (her mother) was too weak/ill to attend the service. The woman's older daughter came into the unit with a new blouse and a make up kit. Together, we worked to change the bed linens, put on the blouse while the older daughter (the Matron of Honor) did her make up. A few minutes later, in came the some of the wedding party--Father, Husband & Bride. They were so beautiful. The Bride has chosen to wear her mother's own wedding gown; it was the only way her mother could be there in the church with her that day (Bride's own words). Yes...the bride had borrowed her mother's wedding gown. It's been over 30 years, and I still get teary-eyed every time I think of her incredibly thoughtful gesture.
My grandmother is bedridden and my cousin got married back in November. We all took turns video chatting her so she could be as involved in the wedding as possible. She was such a proud lady that day.
I love how Anna marrying a guy she'd been seeing for at least 3 years is "spur of the moment." Although, given that it took OP 3 years to just plan her wedding I guess that would seem like they were moving at light speed.
@@arianebolt1575 "in my husband's culture"... I would LOVE to know what culture that is. I feel like she's trying to pull the diversity card while actually talking about, like, Scandinavia?? (Here in Norway 25 is considered early, but nowhere near scandalous if you're in an established relationship. But I have no better suggestions. Am I in desperate need of education, or is OP just delusional? I suppose both could be true)
"spur of moment" hahahahha dont forget"teenage pregnancy" she was so envious to the highest level. may be she wants the husband of Anna so bad hahahahahahaha what a friend. not even happy for her. me me me me
I had a friend who's wedding day happened to land on the same day of several very happy occasions...two pregnancies, a couple of graduations and a silver anniversary... She incorporated EVERYONE'S special events into HER special day!! I was so proud to call her Friend!
The best thing I could image for my wedding is someone proposing. I mean - even more happiness! I find it so sad that so many people are so jealous and self-centered that they would not give a minute of attention to someone else than themself ... :(
@@annkathrinhanamond2982 it’s nice that you wouldn’t mind a proposal at your wedding… but I can really understand why most people consider that really bad form. I wouldn’t mind a pregnancy announcement or some other major life event like graduating, but I would draw the line at a proposal. I don’t think those other announcements takes anything away from the wedding itself, but I do think a proposal would. It’s not wrong to want that one special day all about the married couple just as long as you’re not rude and nasty to everyone in order to HAVE that special day.
My old friend expected me to cure my disability for her wedding. She wanted all bridesmaids to wear the same high heels. I wear leg braces so I can't wear any heels. I offered to sit in my wheelchair with my braces off in order to wear them but was told any visible medical devices would ruin her big day. I needed to wear the heels without leg braces and stand the whole time or I wasn't a bridesmaid anymore. Seeing as how it's impossible for me to stand without my braces, i was kicked out. The wedding ended up not happening because the couple broke up. I haven't spoken to my "friend" since then
Good for you for being firm about your needs - I'm sorry you were made to feel lesser for them, but also glad that you got rid of a useless "friend" in the process.
When I got married, instead of making all my bridesmaids wear the same dress, I told them a color and length, and let them shop for their own. I am very proud to say that one of my bridesmaids found hers on the clearance rack for less than $30! Everyone's dress was a tad different, but everyone chose a dress that fit their style and budget, and everyone looked great! I also had no preference as to what color/ type of shoes they wore. I did gift them jewelry to wear, but the earrings were part of a set that had dangles and pendant earrings, and I told them to wear which ever one they preferred. For hair and makeup, we had artists come to the venue, but I did not make anyone use them. Some of the girls chose to have their hair and makeup done, some just had one or the other, and one of my bridesmaids just did it all herself to save some cash! Some of the girls had their hair up, some down, and everyone looked like a million bucks! I also felt like it was less stress on me because I didn't have to make all these tiny decisions about other people's bodies.
Same. I told my 2 bridesmaids that I wanted a blue long dress. They wanted me to come with them while shopping, but THEY were shopping, not me. They decided to pick the same shade of blue in the same store but 2 differents dresses, under 100$ each. I told them they can wear whatever they want as accessories and shoes. I gave them the option to come to my hair stylist and makeup artist and if they decide to come to mine that I would pay for it, but they decided on the style they wanted. One did her hair and makeup with me, the other did only the makeup with me, and decided to do her own hair. They both looked amazing and comfortable and within their own personal style. I don't regret a thing!
This is what I did for my wedding - I told the bridesmaids the wedding colors and said they could wear whatever in those two colors. They could do whatever shoes, make-up, hair they wanted. I gave them each a strand of pearls as a bridesmaid gift so they all had that matching, but that was it. I wanted them to not spend a lot of money and to be comfortable.
My friend was one of 5 bridesmaids that were given a general idea of colour and told to find a regular dress in a non-bridal store themselves (they lived far apart). My friend (bridesmaid at least twice before) said it was more stressful because some of the dresses looked hideous together when they compared a month before the wedding, and she actually bought 3 dresses to be safe. A nice idea, but has to be done right, i think.
@@jessi88lee i guess when they are more than 3, the bride has to be more specific with the color to have some kind of coordination espacially if the bridesmaid don't know each other 🤣 i had 2 bridesmaid and 4 groomsman: his 2 brothers and my 2 brothers, and his 2 brothers decided to match with my husband and my 2 brothers decided to match only together.
I’m rooting for Anna for having a hot husband 😂 When I met my now husband, my friends were shocked he fell so hard for me. They thought he was too attractive for me. My family said he looked like trouble. He has been the kindest, most supportive partner I ever could’ve wished for. We’re almost ten years in, married for four, and we’re still going strong.
My brother and sister had a three day wedding at a gorgeous chateau with two swimming pools and stunning views. All they asked was for guests to pay for their plane tickets which cost maybe a hundred pounds since UK to Italy means you can get cheap flights. It was the most fun, chilled out wedding and everyone had fun over three days. Absolutely no Bride or Groom ziller stuff, just lots of love. I went for a wander in the gardens and saw some fireflies, took my brother and sis in law to see them so they could have a special moment. Zero drama, that's how you do a wedding.
I eloped with my husband because both my husband's parents and my parents were trying to take over our wedding and would get upset if we didn't do what they wanted. So we flew to Arizona and got married with my grandparents as witnesses. Sadly it was the last time I saw my grandfather, but I'm happy it was a good memory.
Aww! Condolences about your grandfather, but this story is incredible. Getting one over on both sets of parents, getting married the way you wanted to AND getting in a trip to see the Grandparents? God help us if you two ever decide you want to take over the world!
@@thepanpiper7715 also the amount of money that was saved. We spent a total of $405 on it. Now we have 2 kids and enough in savings to try and qualify for a house.
@@pockettot6562 Aw, congratulations! Best of luck with the house and hope you and the wee ones have a lovely New Year (and Christmas, if you partake ). X
I could not even imagine!!! My husband and I got married at a Castle, dream wedding dress, most expensive cost was the location and photographer and we still were under $10,000! Because we were older and combining 2 families we specifically asked for no gifts. We just wanted our friends and family there. People still gave cash, which was amazing but not expected!
Yes, if I were to get married at this stage in my life, I don’t need any household appliances. I wouldn’t even need a lavish wedding, just the joy of being surrounded by my family and friends.
I mean, a wedding is expensive so I don't think it's wrong to make the registry 'please just give us money', but telling people up front 'if you RSVP yes, then please enclose a cheque for $500' does feel a bit scummy. Though I was raised with 'If you can't afford 3, don't even get 1' and I feel the same way about a wedding. If you can't afford $10K, don't shoot for a $10k wedding. Hell, it's about the potential many years together, not that one day.
Honestly I found nothing wrong with this request. It’s ok to ask for gifts but not to just ask for some cash instead? What is it to you if you spend $100 on a vase or just give it in an envelope? Anyway if you only go to the wedding to get some free food by all means you are probably not going to be missed.
Hey Charlotte, You may or may not see this but my partner was going through a really tough time and I put on your videos to cheer him up. Your videos made him laugh when he was going through an unpleasant time. Thank you so much for spreading your amazing content to the world.
Honestly, the best wedding I ever went to was one of my sister’s. She got married in our grandmother’s backyard, with the bishop voluntarily agreeing to the ceremony (He was our LDS ward’s bishop and he was quite excited to do it, he hadn’t married anyone before and he got to do the Princess Bride wedding speech, which everyone loved.), and in lieu of gifts, they had a potluck reception. Literally everyone had a good time, it was all friends and family, and her husband even wrote her a song that they played for their little dance. And guess what! Everything was free or low cost because they didn’t DEMAND anything. They said they wanted a small wedding, because they didn’t have much in the way of cash, but never asked for anything. Instead, our family took over and shoved their love and excitement for them down their throats. No gifts, but because everyone pitched in, completely of their own volition, they still say that it’s one of their favorite memories. Love is blind. If you love someone, it shouldn’t matter where it is, it shouldn’t matter how much you spend or save. It’s when you EXPECT others to go above what they are willing and able to give that ruins things.
Ah man, the one with the bride who wanted to "borrow" the necklace from her bridesmaid. I've read about situations like that, where then after the bride is done "borrowing" the item they refuse to give it back and demand to keep it because "it's special to me now because I wore it in my wedding!"
OP later discovered it was because of the necklace being a part of "a joke" OP's fiancé threw on the brides sister. Giving OP the necklace to wear was a new way of taunting the sister.
@@RavenSutcliffe The update seems to have been removed by reddit, but It was a cruel fat-shaming joke that still affects bride's sister's life. As I recall the fiancé asked the sister out, the sister comes to his house to go on the date and is met by name-calling and a stuffed animal pig who had the necklace on. The OP confronted the fiancé about it and he denied it at start but then backtracked and went on to say how it's not a big deal and how it was a joke. OP started to question whether or not her fiancé got covid in the first place and planted the necklace on her to taunt the sister even more. At the end of the update OP was wondering what else there might be and went to the Bride's house to seek more answers. OP started to question their whole relationship and what kind of man she is with.
@@loka6469 So basically when the sister confronted the OP about the necklace for upsetting the bride, she didn't want to tell her about what her fiance had done? Wow, everyone here is awful except for OP and that poor sister...
At my wedding, I mentioned that there’s a nuptial basket where people can give money on a voluntary basis as we have anything we need and we wanted our guests to come, no matter if they bring gifts or not. We received enough money to pay for our wedding because many of our guests were extremely generous by their own volition. I’ve heard about weddings were the bride and groom request a minimum amount but I think it’s tacky.
Both tacky and counterproductive. People are more likely to be generous if it is voluntary. If you announce a minimal amount, people will have a tendency to stay near it.
@@i_am_bisexual_or_something3132 that’s terrible! What a jerk, I also agree that just having voluntary donations is much better than telling guests that you expect a certain amount
I think its also rude to ask for a minimum anmount of money. Also if you dont ask for it people are more likely give money because they are not asked to. I would be more willing to give more money if I was told its voluntary as this shows that the bride and groom only care about the people being there, not about how much money they can get.
Over 40 years ago, I attended a huge wedding in Mexico City. Beautiful wedding, and the most fun I've ever had at one of those events. During the reception, the best man took off his tux jacket and walked around in his white shirt, carrying a jar full of safety pins. Guests took a safety pin from the jar and we used it to pin money to the guy's shirt. After about an hour, his shirt was completely covered in money! That was when he approached his best friend, the bridegroom, and literally gave him the shirt off his back. (Yes, he had a spare shirt to replace it). It was beautiful! I think it's a wonderful tradition that should be popular, but it's the only time I ever saw or heard of it.
That necklace one is hilarious! Every bridal party I've been in (10+) either 1) had matching jewelry they wanted us to purchase, 2) directed us what kind to wear, i.e. single strand of white pearls/matching earrings, or 3) asked us to send photos of intended jewelry for approval. Getting upset that someone's necklace is nicer than yours is almost as silly as being upset someone's husband is hotter than yours...
I mean, she is a bridezilla. But couldn't the writer just not wear it? Bride is being a bridezilla, her motivations r clear even tho silly. What's the motivation of the writer?
@@kensken8842 That the necklace was important to her, I guess - it had been gifted by her hubby who wasn't there with her, so I guess she felt he was with her in spirit at least. That whole story reeked of massive insecurity on the part of the bride - my best friend was a bridesmaid at my wedding whilst pregnant, and I thought she looked radiant, not like a show-stealing bitch! Another bridesmaid wore a beautiful necklace from her grandma, who had passed away, and I thought it was really sweet, not like she was trying to upstage me. Definitely something weird going on in that bride's head...
@@purpleicicles I mean, wearing something from loved one who passed away is different. She is talking AB the situation as if she is going to a war, won't see her husband for years. It's not her wedding, no one cares if she is wearing a necklace or not. I agree, bride is insecure, bridezilla. But to me, it sounds like the writer also just contributed to the drama. She could simply not wear it.
@@kensken8842 Agreed, but I don't see why she should have to give it up or take it off - especially if the bride already gave everyone a free pass to wear their own. You can't say that and then get salty about someone else wearing something nicer! I mean, she's the BRIDE, surely all eyes are on her regardless? Like you said, no-one cares if she's wearing a necklace or not! 😂
@@purpleicicles I could see if a bridesmaid showed up with a glittering diamond necklace, it could upstage the bride in her photos and therefore it would be okay to ask her to remove it just for the photos and wear it afterward.
Argentinean here: in past times (I mean, 40-50 years ago) it was normal that the family of the bride and groom paid for the wedding. Nowadays is totally normal to have a venue with paid invitations (in exchange of bringing a gift, you pay for your seat and food). I'm 34 and I have never been to a wedding that I didn't have to pay my seat for. It's amusing to learn other cultures' wedding customs, so thank you for these videos!
Same here in Romania. You pay for the food and add something extra. They pay their weddings from this money afterwards and are left with something extra as a gift, usually. As a result, the weddings are pretty fancy. And all your unknown relatives and unknown childhood friends of your parents and their cat are invited. Never understood this after a I grew up.
Here in Spain is expected, you should "contribute" around 150 euros per seat (more if you are a close friend/relative). And I know for a fact that the same is expected in Italy and France. Just saying, there are cultures in which paying for your seat at the table (in the wedding) is the norm.
Wow, that's strange. My husband and I paid for our own wedding. We kept it simple but still had a great time. My father-in-law did pay for the alcohol and we kept that simple too.
Small side note, if I may: in Portugal, it is customary to give (usually a lot of) money and not presents (unless a list is made at some department store) to newlyweds. So even if you don't have a lot of money to pay for your wedding, the cash gifts are usually more than enough to cover its cost.
I am SO glad, when I got married, it was done without any fuss! Instead of gifts, we asked for people to bring a plate of food to share - so that the reception was a buffet, and there was a LOT of delicious food to choose from - a close friend of my Mum co-ordinated who brought savoury, who brought sweet, who brought drinks - it was perfect. It took the strain off my parents and allowed me to focus on important things - like making my own dress (cost under $50!) My brother, a photographer, did 26 photos as a gift - and they are gorgeous, not particularly posed images that capture the day. I had met my husband and married him within 5 months, having only spent 17 days in each others company in that time - because he was in New Zealand most of that time! Did it work out? Are we still together? YES! Next year we celebrate 34 years of marriage. Our whole wedding - clothing, venue, food, flowers, etc, etc, cost under $600 in total! And everyone who came enjoyed it - one young couple even copied the idea for their Wedding the following year, reducing their stress levels! The entitlement shown by some of these bride/grooms astounds me, especially when so few marriages last longer than the warrant on their car! We haven't had it easy - my husband is a cancer survivor - but we are together and face each day as a couple. I wouldn't have it any other way!
oooh I love the idea of doing a buffet/potluck! that's So smart and works for everyone unless there are allergies but even then you should be able to whip something up for said person(s) :)
i posted my wedding story too. it’s similar. included a subway sandwich for $60 and everyone brought a dish to pass. including my dress and hall. the wedding cost us $800.
I was married 24 years ago. We had a buffet potluck. It had a few people upset, however, it worked for us. I’m glad to see more people using the idea. I “borrowed” my mom’s wedding dress and it had to be altered. It was now ivory instead of white but it worked great. The seamstress used tea to die the addition to the same colour as the dress and shocked us. I didn’t pay for my alterations as my maid of honour (my sister) and someone else and both had their bridesmaid dresses made by this very talented seamstress. My dad was unable to attend due to illness so my mom and uncle walked me down the aisle. It was a good day because I married my best friend.
I love this idea!! I have lots of friends and family from lots of cultures around the world, so if I ever get married and do this, it would be the coolest mix of food!! I’m happy to hear that your husband is doing better!! 🤍
If the people getting married don't want to pay for the wedding, why would I want to pay for it? Personally I feel like I'm doing them a favour by attending (and bringing a gift.)
I believe the "borrowed" necklace was updated. OPs fiancee had bullied the bride's sister and used that necklace as part of a fake date situation where they tricked her and terrorized her. Bride didn't want to spill the tea so came up with the "borrowed" thing. OP asked fiancee if it was true. He said "It was just a prank from years ago..." OP broke up with fiancee.
@@psychedelicelle If I remember correctly, OPs fiancee gave that necklace to the sister and then pulled a Carrie at the Prom type "prank" on her that left her traumatized. He took the necklace back during the torment and gave it to his fiancee as a gift saying "Here, Honey, wear this to the wedding since I can't be there." Bride knew her sister would see the necklace and go ballistic. So, tried to get it from OP.
I was in a bridal party for a HS best friend. She and I had grown apart over time but nothing major just regular life and college distance. Anyways, I was 9 months pregnant at her wedding (I found out I was pregnant literally the month she asked me to be in the wedding. I told her I was totally okay with stepping down if she didn’t want someone pregnant in her bridal pics etc. I was happy to attend as a guest as well.) fast forward through the whole planning and actual wedding, she treated me almost identically to the jealous bridezilla day of. She got upset anytime someone spoke to me, or asked me about the baby (who was literally born days later). I’ve known her entire family since we were young and so they all came up to me at some point to catch up, she redirected every single one of them away from me. I spoke to basically no one that day. She forbid me from dancing just in case I danced the baby out. She even cropped me from almost all of the photos. Needless to say I’ve enforced some major distance but also we have simply grown apart these last years. I don’t see us ever being best friends again.
My wedding was amazing! We had very little money and didn't want my parents to foot the bill; so we chose to have it and the reception at my family's home. The colors were chosen by what my sister would wear as my MOH. She already had a very pretty dress. We made the decorations, food and cake ourselves. My Daddy surprised us with renting a white tuxedo for my husband! It made them both so happy! My photography was mainly my uncle; although several family members also took pictures and every one of them are priceless to us. The "minister " we had found in an advertisement and met with just hours before the ceremony. The whole day cost about $300 . That included my gown too! Wouldn't have changed any of it even if I had $30,000🥰
Weddings really shouldn’t be extravagant and expensive events, just a ceremony and a celebration amongst your closest community with the odd +1. If I ever get married, I’m just doing something small where everyone can enjoy themselves and the ceremony isn’t more than 10 minutes. Just vows, i do’s, and the contract kiss shared between spouses. Like, more party than ceremony. But not for so long that it takes half a day to get through and people are sitting on their phones in boredom
I was in a family member’s wedding once as a bridesmaid. I asked what do you want me to do with my hair. She said she didn’t care. We could all do whatever we wanted. So I had a friend of mine help me with a updo. It wasn’t anything special. Just a basic bun. After she saw it I heard her complaining to her mother that my hair looked better than hers. 🙄 she pouted around for awhile about it. I just left it as is. Not my fault your hairdresser didn’t do a good job. And she said she didn’t care so…🤷🏻♀️
i am absolutely convinced that the jealous lady got married in a rush to impress her family and only hates her wedding day so badly bc nobody gave a shit about her flouncing around all superior and demanding, they instead gravitated toward the positive energy radiating off this genuinely happy woman and the man she married bc she actually liked him.
I actually also think that through her jealousy, she focused more on every little comment that was for her "friend" (which might've not even been that many) and not really on any comments she got. I think it was all way less drama as she made it out to be, but in her eyes it was.
@@steph0711 I think you're right. There were probably only a couple of comments made about her friend. That's how unreasonably jealous and dramatic people think. My sister is like that. She's crazy dramatic, especially when she's jealous. If you ask her a question she doesn't like, she'll go "why do you keep bringing that up??!?!" Dude... it was brought up once. Once.
7:15 - I let a friend of mine borrow my favorite earrings so she could stretch her holes and not only did she have them FOREVER but she ended up giving them to someone else! When I finally just asked for them back she looked surprised and said oh I gotta get them back from my friend... WHAT. I did get them back but that was just fucked up.
@@vaporean_boylove.0w083 I wish that was the case but I literally said "I have a great pair of 4g hangers I can let you borrow.." I said borrow, not have. I was careful with my words because they were my favorite, as my sister bought them for me.
@@jamieaaw Hmmm, I see now. Wonder why she was shocked then if you said that phrase. Probably didn't stop her from thinking it but that's still isn't cool. You were clear you are letting her barrow the earrings. No miscommunication here.
@@vaporean_boylove.0w083 who knows, my dude lol it's all good though, she got them back to me and that's what matters. 🙂 Thanks for your perspective though! It's possible she thought I gave them to her, so it may not be as fucked up as I thought after all.
The bride that spoke of her “friend’s” pregnancy, handsome husband and positive energy is sad. Her jealousy really shown through in that post. I bet you she drove her husband crazy talking about her friend’s fine ass husband.😂
@@rafaelasabchucalovato9439 I agree! She even talked about how her friend literally sparkled. Her friend sparkles because she was truly happy! She was about to have her first child with her husband she loved! And it really seemed like the OP of the post was just getting married to have a wedding and attention. Not because she truly loved her husband and wanted to marry him. Her happiness was the fake Instagram kind of happiness. You can pretend to be happy and fool other people, but you can never fool yourself.
As a wedding photographer I can tell you very confidently that the less you give a crap about unimportant details, the better your wedding will be for everyone, including you. Your mind should be occupied wholly with the love you and your partner share, and appreciation for your friends and family - not focused on flowers, dresses, hair, make-up, whatever. I get wanting the best pictures, making them is literally my job (well, one of them), but people need to understand that wedding photography isn't the same as a fashion shoot. When you look at your pictures later you'll be transported back to the day in memory. Do you want to remember how very much in love you were with your partner and what an amazing day you had with your friends, or how much you argued with someone about something that seems so irrelevant now that ten years have passed? If your bridesmaid shaved her head the day before, do you want to remember "that looks terrible, we never talked again after that", or do you want to chuckle about how shocked you were at first, how much fun she was at the party, and how you bonded even more since then, laughing together over the fit of insanity that must have struck her to make that hairstyle choice? Wedding photography is about encapsulating memories of a great day, not about producing an alternative vogue cover.
totally. The nicest wedding I've ever been to took place in a park, the bride wore a second hand dress and the food was a barbecue. It was a great party for everyone involved including the bridal couple, who were just happy that so many people could come
I totally second this!! We got married on a modest budget. We kept it simple because both of us are very simple people. (Indian wedding so remember, even the simplest wedding can be pretty complicated.) We'd promised each other that we won't get upset on the day of no matter what. We both work in the media industry and were familiar with how shoots operate and one thing about those was that no matter how well you plan it, something is bound to go wrong- big or small. Applied the same logic to our wedding. It's a large operation and chances are something will not go right. No matter what, don't let it ruin your day is what we told each other. Several things went wrong on the day of - catering issues, punctuality issues, my gold slippers went missing... Etc. But we remember the day fondly and still laugh hysterically about my crocs poking out from underneath my saree in the pics... It was wonderful and I wouldn't change a thing about it...
This reminded me of the keeping up with the kardashians episode: Kim and Kanye’s wedding. Kylie showed up with freaking blue hair. Everyone has blonde or black, I can’t remember. Anyway, Kim just took a big breath and said, I guess we will have a wedding with her blue hair then. And she kept doing her make up or whatever. I really respected the maturity there. I did not expect it, but it was such a good scene. A rare one where I learned something valuable. Small details are just that in the grand scheme of things. Small! If you chose to let them disturb you, you will miss the whole day for silliness.
When my husband and I married in 2008, our wedding probably cost a total of $1,000. My mother-in-law paid for my dress ($200) and bought the alcohol. My aunt volunteered to take pictures for us, my husband's aunt helped with the potluck, and my mom's best friend made the cake for us. Those were their wedding gifts to us. My husband's uncle also helped us get a discount on the venue. We didn't ask them for any of these things, but were very thankful that they were willing to do them as a gift for our day. Most of the other guests gave us money, and we used that to take a short trip up north to the UP (Michigan). 13 years later, what I remember is marrying my best friend, surrounded by my family and friends. I do not understand bridezillas.
same here. our wedding cost about $1600 in total including my wedding dress and veil $600 his suit his mother's dress she was dirt poor, flowers, cake, hall rental, dj, minister, etc. my friend did our wedding photos as my gift and they were fabulous. came out looking very professional. my gramma paid for the cold buffet for 40 ppl $240 as a gift my fellow nurse i worked with did it for me as a favour. we were 20 and 21and paid for everything else ourselves. I had 5 bridesmaids, wedding was awesome outdoor ceremony then dinner for 40 then dance for 80. no alcohol at all everyone had a blast. we had only known each other 9 months when we married and it lasted 25.5 yrs then he died days after turning 47. our day was beautiful all i hoped it would be and didn't cost us outrageous amt. everyone enjoyed themselves and had fun. us girls all did our own hair and makeup and looked beautiful. i don't understand these bridezillas acting like complete nasty b*tches to their supposed friends just because they are getting married.
People asking for money for their wedding in lieu of gifts make me sketched out cause my cousin did a similar thing for her wedding, turned out the wedding was fake, her groom and “pastor” were just friends and they were never legally married. They just wanted the money and gifts and then dipped. No one in my family talks to them anymore lol
Hubby and I went to the Justice of the Peace and got married. Took out a $1,000 loan for the outdoor reception, did a huge food haul from Sam's Club and the local Mennonite store. Also went to a party place for all the party supplies we needed and the Dollar General for the items we used for centerpieces. And no, the decor did not look cheap. We're craft people, so it was easy for us to have beautiful centerpieces. My sister made all the boutonnieres and bouquets. Our families and my besties did all the food for said party and my sister-in-law did our wedding cake as her gift to us (a huge, beautiful 4 tiered cake with 4 smaller heart cakes). We provided the drinks (soda pop and kegs of beer. People brought their bottles of whiskey, etc.). Requested no money and no gifts. Our friends and family brought cards and gifts anyway. We went to the bank the following Monday, paid back the loan and were able to go away for a week due to the over-generosity of our friends and family. A great time was had by all! That 1,000 bucks paid for everything with money left over. We didn't want to waste the money on one day with all the bells and whistles that put us in debt or our parents, so we put everything into a great outdoor party! Everyone had a great time. That was in 1998, and family and friends still talk about what a great time they had! These bridezillas need to get it thru their heads: it's their wedding and reception, them/the groom/both of thems parents pay for it. If you got a hamburger budget, don't expect people to pay for your champagne, cavier, and filet mignon appetite! On another note, You rock, Charlotte! Love your videos!!
Ages ago, wedding gifts were almost always cash. The showers were to give household items to the bride, and then cash at the actual wedding to help the new couple start their life together. It was never asked for but a gift given willingly. There was never an expectation of paying your way into the party. Even when household items as wedding gifts became the norm (IIRC this became common in the 40's and beyond), they were gifts given willingly and according to the giver's financial state. Saying you would rather have money instead of physical gifts is not tacky. Telling people they HAVE to give money and especially setting a limit is very tacky.
Old school etiquette designates that the “obligation “ to give a gift is the guests’, and that there’s NO EXPECTATION of a gift from the bride & groom. One major rule of manners is that you don’t tell your guests they don’t know the rules. A guest should give a gift BUT it’s tacky for the bride/groom to EXPECT one and super tacky to suggest what a gift should be. Consequently it’s tacky to even ask for a particular gift or something in lieu of a gift. Couples traditionally could register for gifts (China and flatware patterns, etc) but guests were only told about registries if they asked. Sending out invites with “registered at Target” or whatever breaks the rule that brides and grooms should never indicate that they expect gifts. If we all followed the rules of etiquette these situations would be rare.
@@Julia-yn5xh i think these days most expect those being married or having babies to be registered somewhere so I find it helpful to have that information without having to ask. It gives the option of being able to chose a gift that is really needed or perhaps a gift card to the same store. Demanding a certain $ amount or gift IS tacky however.
Exactly. When two of my best friends got married, the really didn't have a lot of many (still don't) and obviously tried to save at all ends, but also wanted to be able to invite all their friends and family so had a big venue. All they were hoping for financially was that their wedding wouldn't generate a big loss, and I think in the end, they could pay it all pretty much exactly with the money they were gifted. Everyone knew they didn't need household items because they were already living together, they just needed money to afford their wedding and to this day it was the most beautiful wedding I have ever been to. ❤️ I still laugh a bit when I think how they unfolded the money from our friendgroup that I had formed into hearts and butterflies just in time to pay the catering with it, which it happened to cover exactly. 😂✌️
I am confused because that is what happened with me and I got married in 2017. At my bridal shower, people gave me and my fiancé household items (my mom did the bridal shower in my new empty house).. and at the wedding, everyone (except 3 couples out of 120 guests) gave us money (one couple gave up cristal frames, one couple gave me a gold ring, and my 2 bridesmaid gave us a honeymoon). I actually was able to keep some of my saved up money because of the money from the guests. I thought that was the norm everywhere.. and now I realise that my culture must have kept the old tradition ( I am originaly from Lebanon)...
A friend of mine got married and since she and her husband were already in their 40s, they didn’t really need anything for their home. Instead, they made their own website with experiences you could buy them for their honeymoon. These ranged from sundown drinks at $20 over diving trips or couples massages at around $200 to pitching in for the honeymoon suite or the flight. They made it clear, that no one was obligated to pay anything. I loved that idea, because you could literally spend as much or as little as you wanted/could and it wasn’t just anonymous money. They thanked each one in a handwritten card and mentioned what they did and how the experience made them feel. The whole thing was very grown-up and personal.
My friends got married a few years ago (we were all late 20s) and did exactly this too. Gifts ranged from a £5 coffee to much more expensive excursions or helping pay towards hotels. It was clear that any gifts were very much appreciated but completely optional, no entitlement to be seen!
I actually feel like the bigger the wedding, the more theatrical it feels. While a smaller or just an 'average' wedding can feel way more like you're actually celebrating and having fun with all your loved ones
Same! My hubby and I married at the courthouse, and 20 years later, we are happily married and still wildly in love!! We’ve had our ups and downs like all couples,and almost split once, but we have never regretted not having a big expensive wedding! It’s about your love and we love each other so much!!
At one part of my life, basically teenager, I had thought I’d have this big fancy wedding. Dunno why as I can’t stand attention being on myself. Once I actually grew up I realized I just want to elope, maybe each time like 1-3k and buy an amazing outfit that can be worn again (like a quality dress, shoe, jacket etc that are made to last) and then take the witnesses to a nice restaurant. All in all just save that insane money. Plus I hate how clothes are for ONE day. Even Kate Middleton rewears her outfits because she’s a class act and recognizes the waste
A good friend of mine, who I've known since 2004, got married this year. He and his now wife are the most down-to-earth couple you could meet. Everything was kept very simple. They got married in a registry office and the reception was extremely minimal - about 60 people invited, no limos, no speeches, no gifts expected, no fancy crap, just nice food, music, a ton of drink and a good laugh. Everyone invited was genuine and was there for the right reasons. Best wedding I've ever been to.
I had a situation (20 years ago now) where I was in the small wedding party of a really close friend. The bridesmaids were asked to wear our own string of pearls so we would all match with the bride. I wore the only pearls I have - a double strand I had inherited from my beloved aunt. The bride hit the roof and demanded I not wear mine. Spoiler alert, my pearls were apparently nicer than hers. It’s the only thing I remember clearly about my very close friend’s special day. 😩
" It all starts with being happy for yourself " . Simple but powerful words . Hope many Bridezillas or groomzillas come to Charlotte's channel for changing their behaviour .
I'll give my two cents in. I'm from an Eastern European country and could never understand buying gifts at a wedding. Its mostly a culture thing. Here we give money as presents in a way to cover the costs per person. It's not a minimum amount required but its respectable to figure out the expenses just so the bride and groom can pay for the wedding. Because of that, the venue doesn't require you to pay till after the wedding is over, when you count the money presents from guests. Just culture differences. At the same time it's tacky to actually ask for money directly but it goes without saying.
Just curiosity, what happens if you don't get enough money in gifts and don't have the money yourself to finish paying? This is why I could never pay 100% at the end. Maybe do a down payment and finish at the end. Then again, I would never pay the full price up front. Just a small amount.
I'm Indonesian, and yeah. We do have kinda same culture. We give money instead of a gift (because a wedding guess can be from 200-1000 guess) so to give a gift as a present, will make it hard for the guess.imagine that after the wedding day the couple will have 3 new rice cooker, and 10 new tea cup set. So money as a gift is much more convenient. If your close friend getting married then we usually give both money and gift (not mandatory) But nah, the couple have to pay all of their wedding expenses usually 1 week before the wedding to avoid the lost of the vendor. Then the money collected as a gift can use for (maybe pay for a party debt? Or a honeymoon etc)
That's actually a way better story than all the "my engagement ring can't cost less than $80k or I'm breaking up with you" people, and it was only two sentences. Congrats on 17 years!
@@BookReviewsWithBecky Congrats! 'Couple time' is very important in a relationship, as are the other ones more openly discussed. It is also biologically programmed into us, esp Oxytocin, that builds a better connection between the couple, plus endorphins, etc. If you are both so stressed and exhausted putting this wedding together, then in a snit afterwards, how is this good for anyone? What about the wedding night? My ex-MIL from Hell sprung a 3-hour after-party on us as we were leaving the country club place 5/6ish , I had been up since 5 a.m., driving 40 minutes home, and we didn't get home until close to midnight. my then-H was great and did everything he could to help all through this, BTW, and WH said no if I didn't say OK. Frankly, I was OK extending the fun day anyway (but I would NEVER do this again, just the opposite). We had to get u[p at 5 a.m. to get ready for the airport. We always had a great time with 'couple time' because we were in love, lots of mutual respect, etc. (should never have broken up with him, BTW, and then when he wanted to reconcile, chose the the now-ex BF, too late now). However, both of us were laying there thinking how exhausted we were but "it is the wedding night, once in a lifetime...". Finally, we looked at each other and blurted it out! The laughing and such gave us a big burst of energy and that night, and the honeymoon, was wonderful when we were just US! The truly happy couple (not even the dogs were there-were with parents lol).
I had the sweetest most intimate wedding at a beautiful historic site wearing a dress that people kept asking where I found such a beautiful dress ($88 at Dillard's it wasn't even a wedding dress!) for under 5k. We served food from an Italian restaurant to save money on food and bought our own liquor and drinks at Costco and hired a liquor server. I spent the most on photography like 25% of the whole budget and it was worth every cent! You can do amazing weddings on the cheap!
When one of my high school friends got married, she and her husband asked guests to pay for their meal instead of buying gifts. I was very happy with that. They'd lived together for a while and that was better than buying something they didn't need. Their ceremony was in the gorgeous garden of their home and the reception was at a lovely, reasonably priced restaurant with good food. It remains one of my favourite weddings I've ever attended.
What happened to the days when the families all pitched in and made all the food for the reception? I remember my mother and aunts making all the food for my sister's weddings. Granted, this was in the late 70s and early 80s, but I think it's a wonderful tradition!
Other than the cake, my mom and grandmas made all the food for my reception, which took place at my parents' house. It was all great and didn't cost much at all.
I dont really think it's a tradition even still - particularly not in the US. The bride just seemed keen on tricking this person into giving them money by claiming "culture". Really weird!
Same here. Totally not a tradition in the States. What is traditional is the bride's parents footing the bill--a tradition my mom's parents ignored, and my parents have made clear they've no intention of following either. They may help, but the majority of the cost is on me and the guy I marry, if/when I marry, same as when they got hitched.
In germany its totally normal to do a "money wedding" where you ask in the invitation just for money gifts. Of course you also dont register anywhere. All the guests show up with envelops and thats it. In my family it always paid off the entire wedding
Don't know what is normal now but we didn't ask for cash gifts but most people give money anyway. That's my favorite gift to give a newly married couple.
My parents’ wedding was bare boned and still more beautiful than some of these weddings I’ve been hearing about! Actually, my mom’s wedding was the second wedding in two weeks that happened in the same family! Same guests, same food and same pastor and her sister (MOH) wore the same bridesmaid dress she wore at the previous wedding! And EVERYONE WAS OKAY WITH THAT! From the pictures I’ve seen, it was a wonderful day and it was the perfect way to start a marriage (30 years strong!)
My hubby and I married on Halloween 2015. Our wedding was done on a £1500 budget and 12 week timetable. My maid of honour and I found her 2 dresses for £20 my dress was a gorgeous burgundy and including adjustments was £500. My MOH and I did the invites, order of service etc by hand. We had the ceremony at the registry office and the party in our favourite pub with buffet and if people wanted a full meal they could order from the menu. I used to DJ for eve radio and invited some of my DJ friends over to Scotland for a get together party (they came from Greece, Finland, Cornwall and northern England) picking up the cake topper on route. I made my cake and sweet nibbles. People still talk about the wedding as it was so relaxed and very us. I love your bridezilla videos as they remind me of when I did wedding cakes as a business and if my intractable migraine ever ends and hubby and I can get a home which would pass EHO inspection I would love to do again. We did the wedding on a budget as that is what we had but looking back we wouldn't change a damn thing as our friends all came in past the pub on route to other parties costumes where amazing and the comments I got about my "costume" where flippantly replied to with "oh it not a costume I did actually get married X hours ago" The pub thanked us as they had djs which after a reasonable amount of time took requests from patrons not just our party increasing their revenue for the night massively. I was even dragged up to the DJ area to play a few tunes. Do your wedding your way and screw convention as that is just boring but remember it is about the 2 of you committing to each other in front of your friends and family
I went to the wedding of a friend in 2001 that was done on a very tight budget and it's the best one I've ever been to because it was a bunch of people who all knew each other celebrating the marriage of two people who were in love. The food was make-your-own sandwiches off deli trays and deli salads, someone had made the cake, the decorations were fake flowers from discount dep't stores and dollar stores. There were tea lights floating in dollar store bowls that had fancy pebbles in the bottom, filled with water. My friend, me, and a bunch of her high school friends decorated the church and church all-purpose hall, and a friend's dad was the DJ. SO. MUCH. FUN! The second-most enjoyable wedding was a cousin's. The service was in one room at a local hotel and it didn't take long. We went down to the largest of the reception/banquet halls on the other end of the building for the reception and celebrated his marriage to the woman he loved. What made the weddings fabulous was the shared joy over and celebration of the marriage, and people having a sense of party and cutting loose at the reception.
When my husband and I got married, we didn't have a shower and I sent in the invitations that instead of regular gifts or a registry, we were going to just have a money tree at the wedding. Everyone just bought a card and put whatever money they would've spent on a gift into it. We had a really artistic silver sculpture to hold the cards and the money we got we used on our honeymoon. I have zero regrets about doing it that way and our families and friends enjoyed not having to stress about buying a wedding gift (this was back before you could do an online registry so the money tree was actually way easier for everyone).
Wow that's a great idea. I didn't know about money tree before. I am from Asia. From now on I will do this in every occasion. It looks really cute, totally private, no unwanted gifts that might end up gift recycling or ebay/Amazon resale. Thanks a ton. 🙂
I love getting money when I got married because it enabled me to put together the smaller amounts and buy a mixer and set of pots and pans that I wouldn’t have been able to buy otherwise. I learned from that experience that money is a great gift for weddings and baby showers
"Is it okay if I wear my own jewelry?" "Yes. But if it's really nice, give it to me to wear. If it's ugly, ew, what is wrong with you?" I believe "Mary" would have complained no matter what.
In Mexican weddings, we have "Padrinos" like Patrons ig would be the best translation. The Padrinos pay for certain things, like one for the Alcohol, one for the food, one for the flowers etc. Depending on how wealthy the family is and how big the wedding is you have more or less Patrons to help the parents of the couple. The parents usually cover most of the wedding though. The couple asks specific family members to be Patrons, and they are usually acknowledged during the party to thank them for helping out. They also sometimes get specific Recuerdos aka Keepsakes, something more pricey than what the other guests get.
We had a lot of people not show up for our wedding after saying they were coming. I was super pissed as we were paying for everything ourselves and that was a lot of money to us. I still couldn’t imagine sending a thank you card like that! You never know what caused them to not come and you’ll definitely burn bridges with that stunt 😬
I mean, where and in what time period do they live? if something caused them to not come they could've called, texted, sent an email etc. it's definitely rude for them to be so careless of other's time, effort and money, and when they wouldn't apologize after the wedding then they burned the bridge themselves
One of the best weddings I’ve ever been to was my friend’s from college. The bride was six months pregnant, one of her bridesmaids was in a wheelchair, and the bride’s mother did not attend due to some strange religious reasons. But we all had a great time! And the wedding was lovely. She had it at a local country club. It was not one of those posh, exclusive country clubs. Just a nice place for people to play golf. It was decorated like a hunting lodge with lots of wood and high beamed ceilings. They did the catering which was a buffet. And off of the dining room there was a huge deck that looked out over the lawn and the forest. It was beautiful! If I ever get married again, I will probably have it at the same venue.
I remember when asking for money in lieu of a gift was considered tacky. Now in the age of entitlement, I have to wonder if it will just become the norm that everybody else has to foot the bill for other people's wedding. If that is the case, I'm adopting a strict "no weddings" policy for myself. It's so gross.
I understand your reservations, but it’s a bit shit if you have to budget for aunts, uncles, cousins - and their kids - who don’t: a. Give a flying fart about you, or b. Don’t know you at all, or c. You don’t even like. Having said that, it's the marriage which is important, not the wedding.
@@jenni8982 And you know what, I always give money, especially if the couple are already living together. I just don't like it when we're told that's what is expected or they can't afford their wedding.
Long ago my husband and I did the registry stuff, but also did a registry for home items we needed and couldn't afford. A cousin who had a business took in the contributions for those items, and while we were on honeymoon, turned cash into the items like a lawn mower, a microwave ( new invention then that were expensive), and vacuum. We got comments from my side of the family who chose to give wine glasses and vases that nevr got used. But we felt that if several people donated towards one item like a vacuum which lasted 25yrs was great. I kept the wedding fists under 1000 bucks. And was obligated to host his and my aunts and uncles. No room for our friend outside the wedding party. Looking back I would have done it different, but still included the church ceremony.
I always love these. And no. In America, I've never once helped pay for any of my friends weddings. I have helped set up, or serve food, or help clean up... but no. I don't got cash like that, and neither do most Americans
I am with you @ErIka Russell. I am also from the US and have been to several weddings. I think it is totally fine to suggest Honeymoon donation in lieu of a gift but neither should be a requirement. It's the gift of sharing the day with those you love that is really what matters. I have donated wine for the reception as a gift, flowers for the bridal party, purchased shoes for the bridal party, set-up and clean-up, including transporting gifts, flowers, cake top to the respective location... .All of my friend brides were more than happy with the help as my "gift". Asking people to pay is not the norm in my friend group.
I've been with my husband about 5 years and we wanted to marry 2-3 years ago but some of my health issues(and depression) made it hard to plan a whole wedding but we're both kinda hermits who don't enjoy big parties and just like living our quiet life together with exception to visiting family on holidays. We love our families and wanted to make them happy but we just looked at eachother and agreed we just really want to be legally married as we already wear rings and have lived together for 4 years. So we made an appointment at our local courthouse for a confidential marriage tomorrow and I'm super excited to be his wife legally. We still want to plan a little dinner party at his moms house later with family since they wanted to celebrate it but im kinda relieved I don't have to worry about paying for all kinds of things like a venue. What matters at the end of the day is that you're in love and completely confident that your partner is the going to be a kind, loyal, and loving person for the rest of your hopefully long life filled with fun. I wish anyone of you who read this a beautiful life and year that's better than the last. Don't sweat the little things 🌻
The necklace thing was weird! I have a custom Tiffany necklace that my friend thinks is really beautiful. I OFFERED to lend it to her on her wedding because it represented our group of 5 friends and her 2 parents with its 7 little hearts. That made it special for her to wear.
My wife and I had a perfect wedding. Afternoon at a courthouse with a very funny and friendly judge presiding with our immediate family as guests. After the ceremony we handed out cupcakes and had a zoom cake cutting event. We payed for it ourselves and saved up for a badass honeymoon in Orlando. Best week of my life.
Same here! My hubby and I got married at the courthouse 20 years ago and we haven’t regretted it for a minute! We are still wildly in love and having a great time in the bedroom!
I'm so sick of all these people who are getting married thinking it's an opportunity to fleece their friends and family out of money. PAY FOR YOUR OWN DAMN WEDDING!
My sister had a simple courthouse wedding and it was the only wedding I've enjoyed going to. The judge who officiated was a really nice, charming guy and the ceremony took place in front of a big Christmas tree covered in paper cranes which was cool considering my side's Japanese heritage. The reception was in the private room of a really nice restaurant. Some of the best food I've ever had. And they hired a great photographer so the pictures turned out awesome. The grand total was probably a few grand which is a lot of money but nowhere near what some people think you have to spend on a wedding.
We asked money instead of gifts for our wedding as I am Turkish and in our culture, people give money/jewellery or gold coins to help out the married couple and we were getting married in Canada so this was our way to explain my family tradition to our guests. We didn’t have any gift registry either. We also didn’t get upset with people who still chose to give gift instead of money. We literally end up paying for our wedding with all money that we got as we didn’t plan too expensive wedding. Our wedding was so much fun and everybody had great time. No drama! 😉
I had a hippie wedding in a campground a few hours outside the city where I live - a very beautiful & scenic one with electricity, real bathrooms & showers to be clear lol. Had a friend who was a minister. The rest of my friends got sites all around ours, pitched tents & we had a blast the whole weekend. There was canoeing, airboats, horseback riding, hiking and a very cute tourist town nearby, tucked away in a valley, that was like taking a trip back in time (homemade ice-cream shop was a hit). At night there was a campfire, drinking & laughter. I told them all no gifts - just be there for us & some fun. Cost for my guests: gas money. And my minister worked for beer 🤣
THAT would be a dream wedding for me! I was supposed to marry the love of my life in 1989. We both had big families with close ties. We were going to be married at a small country church built in 1880, and have the reception at an old dance hall about a mile away that was built by my great-grandfather in 1890. It was the same place my family had annual reunions, in a lovely small Texas town famous for it's German/Czech immigrant heritage. Instead of catering, we were going to have a pot-luck because both of our families had wonderful cooks. Sadly, he died unexpectedly at age 32, so my dream day never happened. I'm still friends with his sisters and mother all these years later. I still dream about him, and in my dreams, we had that wonderful day.
I've been to a few weddings where you either had to "buy" a seat at the party (no cost for attending the wedding itself) or simply had to pay for whatever food you ordered yourself. I'm totally okay with that, I even was offered not to pay for my seat once because I'm vegetarian and they only offered pork schnitzel (do not fret, in the end the cook took pity and breaded some cheese for me :D :D :D). And there always was some arrangement for people who simply couldn't afford the seat / meal. It MIGHT be a cultural thing (I'm from Central Europe), but I guess it's more about the way the bride and groom ask. Nobody ever DEMANDED money, we were always asked nicely, and we knew how much the (fairly humble) weddings already cut into the purses of the couples and their families. And nobody ever got un-invited from the wedding - there always was a way to get everyone a seat that wanted to attend. Sometimes the bride and groom just paid it out of their own pocket, sometimes the rest of us raised the money. (Oh, and we're talking like 25-50 bucks here ... 150 for "good food" and "deserving the wedding of our dreams" is an itsy bitsy tiny little bit entitled, yes ...)
May I ask where in Central Europe you're from? I'm German and never heard of this - although in my region it is custom to give money to the couple instead of things as a gift, and it is considered polite to give the money your seat and meal cost as a minimum (if you can afford it - that "rule" does not apply to students or guests with otherwise small budget). So you do pay for the seat as a guest, but only indirectly by your gift, and you are never asked to beforehand.
@@annkathrinhanamond2982 Right next door from Austria :D No idea whether that's a catholic thing, or it's just a coincidence. It feels "normal" to me because I've witnessed it quite a few times, but I have absolutely no idea whether other people would feel the same way over here.
In Brazil, the concept is taking form very strongly, "casamento por adesão", the couple says, we're going to a given restaurant to celebrate, if ya want to go, is a R$ quantity ya have to pay. We had some invitations to these kind of weddings, we ended up not going for personal reasons, and the couple was luckily understanding. It is all in the way it is said.
I got asked to be matron of honour for a great friend last year. It blew me away to be asked, as she has friends she's known lots longer than me. I offered to do the wedding flowers, table decorations, buttonhole flowers for the guys, and a corsage for the groom's mum, as my gift to the couple. It's also a hobby of mine that I don't get to do much, and I loved doing it. She hadn't asked me to do anything, other than be there for her, as we'd been for each other anyway. Because it was summer in Australia, we went the artificial flower route. We both still have our bouquets, and our friendship is as strong as ever.
The most romantic wedding I ever witnessed was in a garden in a local park. I heard a lone saxophone playing softly. I walked towards the sound to see the musician and officiant standing in a gazebo with the groom ( wearing a suit). There were maybe 6 other people there watching. The bride walks out in a beautiful tailored cream suit with a wide brimmed hat on and a tiny nose gay of flowers. It was about a 5 minute ceremony and they went off to one of the restaurants in the park for their reception. When they kissed we all clapped. They hadn’t noticed by a group of us was watching from the other side of the garden. All smiles and laughter. Quick, easy, beautiful.
I feel entitled to not having misleading video titles. Over half of the video is AITA posts. Which is fine but that should be in the title since it makes up the majority of the video. Every. Single. Video about brides is 80% AITA posts. I follow 4 RUclipsrs who exclusively do AITA posts. So I've already heard all of these. It's just getting really frustrating for me because I get my car click on one of her entitled Bride videos start driving and the majority of the video is just posts from the AITA subreddit I've already heard and I can't change the video until I hit a stoplight or get to my destination. It's just super frustrating for me. Even if she did the title like entitled brides featuring AITA or something so I could just know to skip it that would be super helpful. Idk it's really weird like she's trying to hide the fact these are AITA posts because she never mentions that's what they are and purposefully doesn't read any comments from the post that mention if the OP is TA or not. Idk it's just weird.
That last one is ridiculous!!! And I'm someone who actually did ask people to gift is cash at our wedding but we did it so differently.... We actually printed out a list of things we wanted as gifts on the back of our wedding card... - family recipes, numbers of good real estate agents, seeds for house plants, art projects from the little ones in the family... At the very end, we mentioned that if anyone wanted to give things beyond that, we'd like cash since we were setting up our home together. (we had already paid for our wedding) EVERYONE gave us cash. I mean, we got a lot of recipes, seeds, and hand made cards too but the cash we got helped us do up our new home, invest and have a little bit of fun! We hadn't mentioned any amount because we can't decide for others how much they'd like to spend. But every penny, lovingly given, helped us a lot!! I would have been ashamed to brazenly ask my friends to pitch in to PAY for the wedding!!! We saved for a year to pay for ours!
@@purpleicicles 🤣🤣 congrats on the 5 years!! And friends and acquaintances still ask for copies of our card so that they can make something similar... We are glad our goofy idea is worthy of replication! Feel free to use it in any weddings that you may be helping to plan too!
@@ThoughtfulPotato Thank you for the congrats, and for the generosity with your idea - not a wedding planner, but I live for the day someone asks me for ideas or advice! 😂
Just never ceases to amaze me! Keep these coming, Queen, because they are always fascinating! Especially the ones where the wedded couple are asking their guests to pay for the wedding. *Where they do that at??!!* It's simple - plan the wedding you can afford - everyone that I know saves up and has their wedding once their financial goal has been met. Periodt.
Hands down the best wedding I went to was a civil service at the town hall followed by a feast in a marquee in the garden of the couple's home. As immigrants they had no family in Australia so invited about 50 friends who all brought a plate of food for the banquet. There was heaps to choose from and the groom had made several music tapes and put on plenty of booze. We all danced until midnight but as there was too much food left over, everyone returned the next day (Sunday) for an informal picnic in the garden which again lasted all day. Literally married on a shoestring. (The bride wore a cocktail dress that I had embellished for her and we all took photos and gave them to her.)
I love how you bluntly talk about either not letting anyone borrow/loan anything or how much you despise it, especially something expensive or special! I've been taking tips everything you talk about it 😅
it turned out it was actually because OPs partner had pranked the brides sister in the past by inviting her on a date but showing up with a 'bouquet' of bacon fries and a pig stuffed animal wearing the necklace and the bride didn't want her sister to be reminded of it when she saw it and was just making an excuse.
Best part of that last story is how OP was like "I didn't think we were close enough to loan money." So does that mean this bridezilla invited literally anyone she knew just so she could milk people for $$ over people she truly wanted to be there?
I had this friend of a friend , I mean I knew her for many yeaes and we would hang out and all but it was a different vibe from my other friends, we have always been like that we were ok, but just not that close, when she was getting married she told us all, and we were all happy , she included me in the bachelorette party I knew it through a mail a cousin of hers sent to a bunch of us, U Inever knew that cousin, and at that point I thought ,obviously that I was invited to the wedding. But then everyone got their invitations except for me, so I ask the girls first, to make sure I was not mistaken, if it was a common thing to invite me at the bachelorette only ,here in Spain,( I am originally Moroccan and even growing up there never knew how spanish weddings worked at that time) they said no, usually I should go to the wedding too. So my assumption was, that she probably made a mistake and I was not invited to the wedding, or her cousin probably made a mistake taking mails of her pc ,contactsetc, The rest of girls agree with me ,because the bride is very organised she would never make a mistake like that. So, one week prior to the wedding I get a DM ,where she tells me that she has just now realized ( after almost ayear and a half ,sending invites and getting rvps, and realising a lot of people are not attending the wedding for whatever reasons) that my invitation is missing. I knew she only wanted to fill the emply chairs she was going to have . I obviously said no, in a very polite way, since I was working and a week was not enough time for me to ask for the day off or get a dress etc...We are still friends and all, and still as " close" as before.
Yeah she honestly sounded like maybe acquaintance level of relationship with the bride? They obviously don't know each other that well. But what struck me is the bride and bridesmaid calling it "part of culture" to give money for friends weddings... in the US lol Apparently her only way of even asking is to trick and lie to people to get them to give it to her. She sounds like a nutter
I can't even wrap my head around people asking guests to pay for their wedding. It's a glorified party! I'm not paying for YOUR party. What's next, asking to pay for sweet 16s so they can get their first car?
Yeah.... where I live there's a percentage of the Latino population that's always asking for people to be padrinos (godparents) for wedding or Quinceañera party expenses. Basically you pay for the cake, drinks, flowers or something like that and your name gets added to the program. Basically a list of sponsors lol. I'm from Mexico and had never heard of this until I got to this part of the US. I had heard of the religious godparents of brides and grooms wearing a certain color, like an extended wedding party, but not the money thing. My family and I were always of the opinion of you have the party that you can afford. So yeah, mom and I were surprised when we first were asked about this lol
🤣 In Miami it is custom at Cubans sweet 16's that you pay for the party. They also request you pay for baptism and bridal parties. I had to stop going. I couldn't afford to pay for their parties.
@@FlagCutie My mom grew up with that understanding too. You have the main godparents and that's it. It may be a combo of regional customs (we're from Guadalajara) and a generational thing - as a couple of my friends had padrinos for every little thing at their quince. Since being in the US, I don't think I've ever been to a quince where they had just the one godparent(s).
@@sunflowerbaby1853 Wow that is just insane to me. I’d rather have you come then have you pay for it. Like to me the people matter more then the money and I’m an introvert that prefers just to be alone in general lol but when it comes to something like that I’d choose you over your wallet
We did our reception at a restaurant and asked for everyone to pay for their meals instead of giving us gifts. Everyone seemed pretty happy with how it went. Everything else was paid out of pocket but we did it with our budget and managed to get everything under 2k (including the dress which was second hand). People still talk about our wedding years after as being the most fun. The less that you stress about it, the more fun it actually is. Nobody is expecting you to pull out 20k for one day. 😊
I feel you Char I hate letting people borrow things, irresponsible people that is.I let my husband's cousin borrow MY lawnmower and weed eater (I love cutting my grass) with the weed eater I had THREE batteries and of course he only returned TWO claiming I only lent him two! 🙍🏾♀️Moral of the story is when letting people borrow my things I just chop it up as a lost.🤷🏾♀️😔
@@Cynophileandavianenthusiast "No good deed goes unpunished" is a saying for a reason. Before you lend anything now, you have to make a person sign and date a contract (and take a picture) and you'll still have to ask them for it back (and you're the AH for asking!)
Ughhh that "no you only lent me two" irked me so hard, I hate this feeling of powerlessness and betrayal. It's now your memory against a friend's/family member's.. which is so much worse cuz you can't argue with them without stiring personal shiz up
I just got engaged. My two friends that are already married but couldn’t have a wedding yet are planning to have one now. I’m so excited to have all these moments together and help each other plan
My friends and I all got married over the same summer. We planned it to make sure everyone had time for their events and preparation. It was so much fun! I loved their weddings and I hope they enjoyed mine.
I love that the one couple would rather spend their money on their house, when it's their wedding. But it's a once in a lifetime event for their guests and they should pay $150 for the seat...Bish I can see Beyonce for that and it'll be a better show than your wedding.
Some weddings are fun, most are something you attend out of obligation for loved ones. I've never been to one that was a once in a lifetime event for anyone but the bride and groom!
You might be able to see Kelly or Michelle for that price, but not Queen B. Your point still stands though. I certainly wouldn’t pay $150 for a wedding.
Yeah I don’t get how any couple can really think that I, as a guest, see your wedding as a once in a lifetime event for me (I mean unless it was like flying to some exotic local most people could never get into and eating food made by some top class chef. Like as you said if it was Beyoncé’s wedding but these people aren’t Beyoncé)
They also seem to forget there are many people who not only can’t afford to spend that sort of money for a wedding, but they also don’t want to. I’d rather put $150 on my own house 😂
Me and my husband payed for my whole wedding and didn't go into debt over it. We shopped for everything, and planned everything. Everyone I loved was there and it was special. It was also beautiful. I don't understand going into debt over one day. Also the bride thinking the day is all about them when it's their husbands day too. We actually (you won't believe this) had fun doing the whole thing. Weddings don't have to be a horribly expensive, stressful thing.
I totally understand that jealousy can be super hard. My brother got married to his wife a few weeks after I got married to my husband. It wasn’t a big deal because it made things convenient for family traveling to visit both weddings. But my husband and I wanted kids and didn’t have luck for a long time. Literally the day after I felt like I should just give up, my brother’s wife announced she was pregnant. Of course I was super happy for them. I love babies! But I also hated that I felt jealous. I didn’t end up having any kids for years after that. And during my sister-in-law’s pregnancy I decided I would crochet things for her baby to help myself feel more at peace. It really helped, and of course she was super sweet And said she loved everything I made. The baby was born without a right hand. It just never grew. But he’s nearly six years old now and I honestly forget he’s missing a hand sometimes because he’s just so capable and happy. Plus, he’s a very fun playmate for my two sons. ❤️ Jealousy is something we can overcome if we use loving actions rather than lashing out. We might be hurting, but everyone is going through something. Be gentle to each other.
I don't understand why people make such a big deal about weddings being "their" day. The universe doesn't care about what's planned for a particular day or accommodating your plans. It poured on our wedding day from start to finish, but we didn't let it ruin things. We still got married, our loved ones were with us & had fun, and everyone made it home safely afterwards. And if you invite people to a party, you don't charge the guests for showing up. They are paying to be there and usually contribute a gift, don't charge them for their food too.
Weddings are expensive. Period. My wife and I DIY'd it in our own backyard. Made our own food, etc. It was still expensive as hell. But despite all that, I still would never have DREAMED of asking guests to pay for it. That's just insane but I'm learning through this channel that people are just entitled beyond a degree that I ever thought possible.
I hafta say the favorite part of my day is Charlotte's videos. Girl, I could absolutely see myself inviting you over, having a few drinks & laughing so hard, we disturb the neighbors. You are by far my favorite, keep doin what ya do luv, you're killin it ❣️❣️ Have a safe & happy holiday 🥰🥰
I'll be honest it's weird to ask for your guests to pay but as long as you don't expect them to bring other gifts in between and keep it reasonable (150$ seems to be a lot) and don't get mad at the guests that don't feel like paying that much to come, why not? As far as the rest of the self-aware brides are concerned, why do you think it's okay to make people deliberately look "worse" than you do? At my wedding plenty of my friends were looking astounding and I'm glad they did! All that matters is that they're there with me to celebrate :-)
I think the most fun thing we did at my sister's wedding was the money dance lol. Neither of them asked for money but everyone just secretly decided that as soon as we all started dancing we were gonna pin money all over them lol. It was great and i got to pin a 100 on my BIL lol. And my sister's veil was just covered in bills by the end of it lol. My sister was the absolute opposite to a bridezilla, and i honestly think she was far too gracious with some people, like our father, at the party. But she was happy so thats all that really mattered.
How insecure must you be to have your wedding day ruined by someone else's necklace? It's going to steal attention? From the (presumebly) white/sparkly/laced-dressed bride? People are going to talk about it? All the weddings I went to people talked 1)about themselves 2) about food
My husband and I couldn’t afford a wedding. We got married in my mothers living room. She had a nice fireplace. The people that are asking for money and expecting everything to be just handed over need a reality check. It’s disgusting when a bride makes EVERYTHING about them. Wedding used to be a celebration of a couple and families joining together, not some jerk who needs an Instagram post….
I got married in 1988 and my dad was a chef and he made all the food. Had a friend who was a photografer who did it for free. The place we had our wedding party we got for free.No one paid anything to come to our wedding. All we paid for was the food and beverages alcoholic and non alcoholic. We ended up pay around 1200 dollars :)
Do you know that the more expensive the wedding, the more likely it is to fail? You’re part of that statistic. Disclaimer: This is true for weddings in the UK. Other countries may vary... doubt it, though.
I also agree that aside from these Bridezilla/Groomzilla posts, I’ve NEVER heard of people demanding guests to chip in for wedding costs like it’s a normal thing to do. Have the wedding celebration you can afford, lunatics!
Quite a while back, one of my former students asked me if I could walk him down the aisle. It seems that his family didn't approve of him, his wedding, his life, or much else even though he put himself through school and is an amazing industrial engineer now. I am still honored to this day to have been able to give him away to his new hubby. At the rehearsal, I found out that he was told that his sister was going to try and get him a tux but couldn't afford it so I was very happy to loan him mine (the borrowed item)... And failed to teach him how to tie the bow tie (I can teach some things but can't seem to teach that). Anyway, the wedding was beautiful and I managed to NOT run my wheelchair over anyone's toes... Shocked emoji here. Something borrowed ALWAYS from the heart and the kid returned my tux dry cleaned and in perfect condition.
Glad to hear a positive story! You are an awesome teacher/professor!
Aww your definitely going to heaven
Wow, I love that story! Thank you for sharing ❤️
This is such a sweet story!
💖
Stop planning a Versace wedding with a Walmart budget!! That seems to be a common theme with a lot of these stories and it drives me crazy!
Haha I usually say champagne taste, beer budget but I am changing it to this one!!
Ikr? It's kind they want a French Rivera setting stocked by garage sales. So weird. And who has money for this? Didn't we just have a global pandemic?
After hearing all of these stories about bridezillas on a budget, I think I'll just get a nice dress and have a small ceremony under the stars with only the minister and a witness or two to take pictures, maybe at the beach or a quiet field. I get the feeling these people only want wedding ceremonies as an excuse to show off and be fancy for one day.
I used to work in "Celebrations" department at Wal-Mart. You can put on a wedding and buy everything from there except the attire.
some people are so entitled they really think weddings are donation events for their shallow lives 🤦♀️🤣
Two weeks after I got engaged, my brother and his girlfriend announced that they were pregnant. Shortly thereafter, I had a great day at their wedding. Then, a had a wonderful time at my own wedding, with the gals in my wedding party wearing jewelry I gifted them in thanks for their friendship. There are enough happy times to go around and your bridal party should be appreciated.
This!
Why would you be upset that you get to be an Auntie and an extra party?
Some people are just so insecure.
We also gave my bridesmaids a necklace and earrings as their gift, which one of my Mum's friends had made (She makes amazing jewelry that she sells). And the groomsmen were given ties and a handkerchief.
i still have the jewelry locket my friend got me when i was her bridesmaid, she seen it in my jewelry box a few weeks ago and started crying that i still had it! her maid of honour gave hers away and my friend lost hers in a fire on their honeymoon (their rv was in a wildland fire) so of course i gave it to her even though she is divorced now! she is giving it to her daughter on her birthday and i think that is so sweet.
@@irokekula5739 my friend gave us bridesmaids a charm bracelet for her wedding. She's divorced now but I still have my bracelet and always plan to ❤
@@irokekula5739 I agree that is so sweet and that was so sweet of you to give it to her!!
In re: "Something borrowed" Years ago, I was working in an Intensive Care Unit. My patient was severely disabled and had terminal cancer. Her daughter was getting married that day, and my patient (her mother) was too weak/ill to attend the service. The woman's older daughter came into the unit with a new blouse and a make up kit. Together, we worked to change the bed linens, put on the blouse while the older daughter (the Matron of Honor) did her make up. A few minutes later, in came the some of the wedding party--Father, Husband & Bride. They were so beautiful. The Bride has chosen to wear her mother's own wedding gown; it was the only way her mother could be there in the church with her that day (Bride's own words). Yes...the bride had borrowed her mother's wedding gown. It's been over 30 years, and I still get teary-eyed every time I think of her incredibly thoughtful gesture.
Stop it, my eyes are leaking!
My grandmother is bedridden and my cousin got married back in November. We all took turns video chatting her so she could be as involved in the wedding as possible. She was such a proud lady that day.
I’m blubbering like an idiot reading this. 😢😢😢😢
I love how Anna marrying a guy she'd been seeing for at least 3 years is "spur of the moment." Although, given that it took OP 3 years to just plan her wedding I guess that would seem like they were moving at light speed.
Right up there with dating someone being "very single" and pregnant as a married 25-year-old being "teenage pregnancy".
@@arianebolt1575 I thought that teenage pregnancy comment was beyond stupid. That woman is wackadoodle
@@arianebolt1575 "in my husband's culture"... I would LOVE to know what culture that is. I feel like she's trying to pull the diversity card while actually talking about, like, Scandinavia?? (Here in Norway 25 is considered early, but nowhere near scandalous if you're in an established relationship. But I have no better suggestions. Am I in desperate need of education, or is OP just delusional? I suppose both could be true)
"spur of moment" hahahahha dont forget"teenage pregnancy" she was so envious to the highest level. may be she wants the husband of Anna so bad hahahahahahaha what a friend. not even happy for her. me me me me
I’m like WTH - that woman is very truly a “wackadoodle” for sure! She needs extreme therapy asap.
I had a friend who's wedding day happened to land on the same day of several very happy occasions...two pregnancies, a couple of graduations and a silver anniversary...
She incorporated EVERYONE'S special events into HER special day!!
I was so proud to call her Friend!
The best thing I could image for my wedding is someone proposing. I mean - even more happiness! I find it so sad that so many people are so jealous and self-centered that they would not give a minute of attention to someone else than themself ... :(
Now that’s a good friend! Ya love to see it 😌
Aw what a lovely lady!
I’d certainly be thrilled to give the floor to other couples to announce pregnancies after the speeches.
@@annkathrinhanamond2982 it’s nice that you wouldn’t mind a proposal at your wedding… but I can really understand why most people consider that really bad form.
I wouldn’t mind a pregnancy announcement or some other major life event like graduating, but I would draw the line at a proposal.
I don’t think those other announcements takes anything away from the wedding itself, but I do think a proposal would.
It’s not wrong to want that one special day all about the married couple just as long as you’re not rude and nasty to everyone in order to HAVE that special day.
What an amazing friend ❤ !!!
My old friend expected me to cure my disability for her wedding. She wanted all bridesmaids to wear the same high heels. I wear leg braces so I can't wear any heels. I offered to sit in my wheelchair with my braces off in order to wear them but was told any visible medical devices would ruin her big day. I needed to wear the heels without leg braces and stand the whole time or I wasn't a bridesmaid anymore. Seeing as how it's impossible for me to stand without my braces, i was kicked out. The wedding ended up not happening because the couple broke up. I haven't spoken to my "friend" since then
WOW!
Good for you! That's crazy 😧
🤦♀️ Sounds like not a great loss 😅
Good for you for being firm about your needs - I'm sorry you were made to feel lesser for them, but also glad that you got rid of a useless "friend" in the process.
Disgraceful behaviour ...
When I got married, instead of making all my bridesmaids wear the same dress, I told them a color and length, and let them shop for their own. I am very proud to say that one of my bridesmaids found hers on the clearance rack for less than $30! Everyone's dress was a tad different, but everyone chose a dress that fit their style and budget, and everyone looked great! I also had no preference as to what color/ type of shoes they wore. I did gift them jewelry to wear, but the earrings were part of a set that had dangles and pendant earrings, and I told them to wear which ever one they preferred. For hair and makeup, we had artists come to the venue, but I did not make anyone use them. Some of the girls chose to have their hair and makeup done, some just had one or the other, and one of my bridesmaids just did it all herself to save some cash! Some of the girls had their hair up, some down, and everyone looked like a million bucks! I also felt like it was less stress on me because I didn't have to make all these tiny decisions about other people's bodies.
I did the same. I told them to wear black (so perhaps they could wear it again after) and everyone looked great!
Same. I told my 2 bridesmaids that I wanted a blue long dress. They wanted me to come with them while shopping, but THEY were shopping, not me. They decided to pick the same shade of blue in the same store but 2 differents dresses, under 100$ each. I told them they can wear whatever they want as accessories and shoes.
I gave them the option to come to my hair stylist and makeup artist and if they decide to come to mine that I would pay for it, but they decided on the style they wanted. One did her hair and makeup with me, the other did only the makeup with me, and decided to do her own hair.
They both looked amazing and comfortable and within their own personal style. I don't regret a thing!
This is what I did for my wedding - I told the bridesmaids the wedding colors and said they could wear whatever in those two colors. They could do whatever shoes, make-up, hair they wanted. I gave them each a strand of pearls as a bridesmaid gift so they all had that matching, but that was it. I wanted them to not spend a lot of money and to be comfortable.
My friend was one of 5 bridesmaids that were given a general idea of colour and told to find a regular dress in a non-bridal store themselves (they lived far apart). My friend (bridesmaid at least twice before) said it was more stressful because some of the dresses looked hideous together when they compared a month before the wedding, and she actually bought 3 dresses to be safe. A nice idea, but has to be done right, i think.
@@jessi88lee i guess when they are more than 3, the bride has to be more specific with the color to have some kind of coordination espacially if the bridesmaid don't know each other 🤣 i had 2 bridesmaid and 4 groomsman: his 2 brothers and my 2 brothers, and his 2 brothers decided to match with my husband and my 2 brothers decided to match only together.
I’m rooting for Anna for having a hot husband 😂 When I met my now husband, my friends were shocked he fell so hard for me. They thought he was too attractive for me. My family said he looked like trouble. He has been the kindest, most supportive partner I ever could’ve wished for. We’re almost ten years in, married for four, and we’re still going strong.
Gasp! So for ten years, you've been an awful attention grabber, for *checks notes* having a hot partner! How daaaaare you D:
Is your name Anna by any chance 🤣
@@jellysharkbatlol
My brother and sister had a three day wedding at a gorgeous chateau with two swimming pools and stunning views. All they asked was for guests to pay for their plane tickets which cost maybe a hundred pounds since UK to Italy means you can get cheap flights. It was the most fun, chilled out wedding and everyone had fun over three days. Absolutely no Bride or Groom ziller stuff, just lots of love. I went for a wander in the gardens and saw some fireflies, took my brother and sis in law to see them so they could have a special moment. Zero drama, that's how you do a wedding.
That sounds nice ❤
I eloped with my husband because both my husband's parents and my parents were trying to take over our wedding and would get upset if we didn't do what they wanted. So we flew to Arizona and got married with my grandparents as witnesses. Sadly it was the last time I saw my grandfather, but I'm happy it was a good memory.
Aww! Condolences about your grandfather, but this story is incredible. Getting one over on both sets of parents, getting married the way you wanted to AND getting in a trip to see the Grandparents? God help us if you two ever decide you want to take over the world!
@@thepanpiper7715 also the amount of money that was saved. We spent a total of $405 on it. Now we have 2 kids and enough in savings to try and qualify for a house.
@@pockettot6562 Aw, congratulations! Best of luck with the house and hope you and the wee ones have a lovely New Year (and Christmas, if you partake ). X
Go you for fighting back!!!
Sorry for your loss but soooo happy for you having him there to witness such a beautiful occasion!!
I could not even imagine!!! My husband and I got married at a Castle, dream wedding dress, most expensive cost was the location and photographer and we still were under $10,000! Because we were older and combining 2 families we specifically asked for no gifts. We just wanted our friends and family there. People still gave cash, which was amazing but not expected!
Yes, if I were to get married at this stage in my life, I don’t need any household appliances. I wouldn’t even need a lavish wedding, just the joy of being surrounded by my family and friends.
If anyone "charges" me to attend their wedding, I won't be there, ever.
Same. Weddings suck, anyway.
I mean, a wedding is expensive so I don't think it's wrong to make the registry 'please just give us money', but telling people up front 'if you RSVP yes, then please enclose a cheque for $500' does feel a bit scummy. Though I was raised with 'If you can't afford 3, don't even get 1' and I feel the same way about a wedding. If you can't afford $10K, don't shoot for a $10k wedding. Hell, it's about the potential many years together, not that one day.
Carter - I agree 100%
Honestly I found nothing wrong with this request. It’s ok to ask for gifts but not to just ask for some cash instead? What is it to you if you spend $100 on a vase or just give it in an envelope? Anyway if you only go to the wedding to get some free food by all means you are probably not going to be missed.
Hey Charlotte,
You may or may not see this but my partner was going through a really tough time and I put on your videos to cheer him up. Your videos made him laugh when he was going through an unpleasant time. Thank you so much for spreading your amazing content to the world.
Awww that's sweet. I hope your hubby is all good now 😀
Honestly, the best wedding I ever went to was one of my sister’s. She got married in our grandmother’s backyard, with the bishop voluntarily agreeing to the ceremony (He was our LDS ward’s bishop and he was quite excited to do it, he hadn’t married anyone before and he got to do the Princess Bride wedding speech, which everyone loved.), and in lieu of gifts, they had a potluck reception. Literally everyone had a good time, it was all friends and family, and her husband even wrote her a song that they played for their little dance. And guess what! Everything was free or low cost because they didn’t DEMAND anything. They said they wanted a small wedding, because they didn’t have much in the way of cash, but never asked for anything. Instead, our family took over and shoved their love and excitement for them down their throats. No gifts, but because everyone pitched in, completely of their own volition, they still say that it’s one of their favorite memories. Love is blind. If you love someone, it shouldn’t matter where it is, it shouldn’t matter how much you spend or save. It’s when you EXPECT others to go above what they are willing and able to give that ruins things.
Ah man, the one with the bride who wanted to "borrow" the necklace from her bridesmaid. I've read about situations like that, where then after the bride is done "borrowing" the item they refuse to give it back and demand to keep it because "it's special to me now because I wore it in my wedding!"
You KNOW she was listening to her gut about what kind of woman this bride was and that was exactly what would happen to her brand new necklace!
OP later discovered it was because of the necklace being a part of "a joke" OP's fiancé threw on the brides sister. Giving OP the necklace to wear was a new way of taunting the sister.
@@loka6469 whaaaat could you explain that a little further??
@@RavenSutcliffe The update seems to have been removed by reddit, but It was a cruel fat-shaming joke that still affects bride's sister's life.
As I recall the fiancé asked the sister out, the sister comes to his house to go on the date and is met by name-calling and a stuffed animal pig who had the necklace on.
The OP confronted the fiancé about it and he denied it at start but then backtracked and went on to say how it's not a big deal and how it was a joke.
OP started to question whether or not her fiancé got covid in the first place and planted the necklace on her to taunt the sister even more.
At the end of the update OP was wondering what else there might be and went to the Bride's house to seek more answers. OP started to question their whole relationship and what kind of man she is with.
@@loka6469 So basically when the sister confronted the OP about the necklace for upsetting the bride, she didn't want to tell her about what her fiance had done?
Wow, everyone here is awful except for OP and that poor sister...
At my wedding, I mentioned that there’s a nuptial basket where people can give money on a voluntary basis as we have anything we need and we wanted our guests to come, no matter if they bring gifts or not. We received enough money to pay for our wedding because many of our guests were extremely generous by their own volition. I’ve heard about weddings were the bride and groom request a minimum amount but I think it’s tacky.
Both tacky and counterproductive. People are more likely to be generous if it is voluntary. If you announce a minimal amount, people will have a tendency to stay near it.
My aunt and uncle had something like that on their wedding and one of the guests stole nearly all the money
@@i_am_bisexual_or_something3132 that’s terrible! What a jerk, I also agree that just having voluntary donations is much better than telling guests that you expect a certain amount
I think its also rude to ask for a minimum anmount of money. Also if you dont ask for it people are more likely give money because they are not asked to. I would be more willing to give more money if I was told its voluntary as this shows that the bride and groom only care about the people being there, not about how much money they can get.
Over 40 years ago, I attended a huge wedding in Mexico City. Beautiful wedding, and the most fun I've ever had at one of those events.
During the reception, the best man took off his tux jacket and walked around in his white shirt, carrying a jar full of safety pins. Guests took a safety pin from the jar and we used it to pin money to the guy's shirt. After about an hour, his shirt was completely covered in money! That was when he approached his best friend, the bridegroom, and literally gave him the shirt off his back. (Yes, he had a spare shirt to replace it).
It was beautiful! I think it's a wonderful tradition that should be popular, but it's the only time I ever saw or heard of it.
That necklace one is hilarious! Every bridal party I've been in (10+) either 1) had matching jewelry they wanted us to purchase, 2) directed us what kind to wear, i.e. single strand of white pearls/matching earrings, or 3) asked us to send photos of intended jewelry for approval. Getting upset that someone's necklace is nicer than yours is almost as silly as being upset someone's husband is hotter than yours...
I mean, she is a bridezilla. But couldn't the writer just not wear it? Bride is being a bridezilla, her motivations r clear even tho silly. What's the motivation of the writer?
@@kensken8842 That the necklace was important to her, I guess - it had been gifted by her hubby who wasn't there with her, so I guess she felt he was with her in spirit at least. That whole story reeked of massive insecurity on the part of the bride - my best friend was a bridesmaid at my wedding whilst pregnant, and I thought she looked radiant, not like a show-stealing bitch! Another bridesmaid wore a beautiful necklace from her grandma, who had passed away, and I thought it was really sweet, not like she was trying to upstage me. Definitely something weird going on in that bride's head...
@@purpleicicles I mean, wearing something from loved one who passed away is different. She is talking AB the situation as if she is going to a war, won't see her husband for years. It's not her wedding, no one cares if she is wearing a necklace or not.
I agree, bride is insecure, bridezilla. But to me, it sounds like the writer also just contributed to the drama. She could simply not wear it.
@@kensken8842 Agreed, but I don't see why she should have to give it up or take it off - especially if the bride already gave everyone a free pass to wear their own. You can't say that and then get salty about someone else wearing something nicer! I mean, she's the BRIDE, surely all eyes are on her regardless? Like you said, no-one cares if she's wearing a necklace or not! 😂
@@purpleicicles I could see if a bridesmaid showed up with a glittering diamond necklace, it could upstage the bride in her photos and therefore it would be okay to ask her to remove it just for the photos and wear it afterward.
Argentinean here: in past times (I mean, 40-50 years ago) it was normal that the family of the bride and groom paid for the wedding. Nowadays is totally normal to have a venue with paid invitations (in exchange of bringing a gift, you pay for your seat and food). I'm 34 and I have never been to a wedding that I didn't have to pay my seat for. It's amusing to learn other cultures' wedding customs, so thank you for these videos!
Same here in Romania. You pay for the food and add something extra. They pay their weddings from this money afterwards and are left with something extra as a gift, usually. As a result, the weddings are pretty fancy. And all your unknown relatives and unknown childhood friends of your parents and their cat are invited.
Never understood this after a I grew up.
Re paying for wedding in Argentina. It is the custom but not expensive.
Here in Spain is expected, you should "contribute" around 150 euros per seat (more if you are a close friend/relative). And I know for a fact that the same is expected in Italy and France. Just saying, there are cultures in which paying for your seat at the table (in the wedding) is the norm.
Wow, that's strange. My husband and I paid for our own wedding. We kept it simple but still had a great time. My father-in-law did pay for the alcohol and we kept that simple too.
@@dianazaleta9206 Not in the part of France I lived in for twenty years...😮
Small side note, if I may: in Portugal, it is customary to give (usually a lot of) money and not presents (unless a list is made at some department store) to newlyweds. So even if you don't have a lot of money to pay for your wedding, the cash gifts are usually more than enough to cover its cost.
Here we often give money but it isn't always a huge amount. Since weddings have to be paid in advance, we might break even with cash gifts.
I am SO glad, when I got married, it was done without any fuss! Instead of gifts, we asked for people to bring a plate of food to share - so that the reception was a buffet, and there was a LOT of delicious food to choose from - a close friend of my Mum co-ordinated who brought savoury, who brought sweet, who brought drinks - it was perfect. It took the strain off my parents and allowed me to focus on important things - like making my own dress (cost under $50!) My brother, a photographer, did 26 photos as a gift - and they are gorgeous, not particularly posed images that capture the day. I had met my husband and married him within 5 months, having only spent 17 days in each others company in that time - because he was in New Zealand most of that time! Did it work out? Are we still together? YES! Next year we celebrate 34 years of marriage. Our whole wedding - clothing, venue, food, flowers, etc, etc, cost under $600 in total! And everyone who came enjoyed it - one young couple even copied the idea for their Wedding the following year, reducing their stress levels! The entitlement shown by some of these bride/grooms astounds me, especially when so few marriages last longer than the warrant on their car! We haven't had it easy - my husband is a cancer survivor - but we are together and face each day as a couple. I wouldn't have it any other way!
oooh I love the idea of doing a buffet/potluck! that's So smart and works for everyone unless there are allergies but even then you should be able to whip something up for said person(s) :)
Waow❤️❤️❤️
i posted my wedding story too. it’s similar. included a subway sandwich for $60 and everyone brought a dish to pass. including my dress and hall. the wedding cost us $800.
I was married 24 years ago. We had a buffet potluck. It had a few people upset, however, it worked for us. I’m glad to see more people using the idea.
I “borrowed” my mom’s wedding dress and it had to be altered. It was now ivory instead of white but it worked great. The seamstress used tea to die the addition to the same colour as the dress and shocked us. I didn’t pay for my alterations as my maid of honour (my sister) and someone else and both had their bridesmaid dresses made by this very talented seamstress.
My dad was unable to attend due to illness so my mom and uncle walked me down the aisle.
It was a good day because I married my best friend.
I love this idea!! I have lots of friends and family from lots of cultures around the world, so if I ever get married and do this, it would be the coolest mix of food!!
I’m happy to hear that your husband is doing better!! 🤍
Totally with Charlotte on loaning your good stuff. Never loan something you're not prepared to lose.
And assume the borrower a) has no idea of the cost of the item and b) doesn't know how to use it.
Imagine running after the bride before she heads out to get your jewelry or else you might never see it again?
If the people getting married don't want to pay for the wedding, why would I want to pay for it? Personally I feel like I'm doing them a favour by attending (and bringing a gift.)
totally agree
EXACTLY
Facts
They lack common sense.
If I had to pay to attend a wedding that would be my gift lol. There’s no way I’d pay to go and give a gift.
I believe the "borrowed" necklace was updated. OPs fiancee had bullied the bride's sister and used that necklace as part of a fake date situation where they tricked her and terrorized her. Bride didn't want to spill the tea so came up with the "borrowed" thing. OP asked fiancee if it was true. He said "It was just a prank from years ago..." OP broke up with fiancee.
What ??? I didn't get it 😶 is that really updated or its just u who wrote
Wait what how is the necklace involved in that terrorizing ??????
@@psychedelicelle If I remember correctly, OPs fiancee gave that necklace to the sister and then pulled a Carrie at the Prom type "prank" on her that left her traumatized. He took the necklace back during the torment and gave it to his fiancee as a gift saying "Here, Honey, wear this to the wedding since I can't be there." Bride knew her sister would see the necklace and go ballistic. So, tried to get it from OP.
@@ginnyyy05 I'm a music teacher. Not a creative writer. I'll try to find the link, but I definitely read that in the update.
What a twist! That is crazy, but I'm glad the bride wasn't a true bridezilla, just a good sister.
I was in a bridal party for a HS best friend. She and I had grown apart over time but nothing major just regular life and college distance. Anyways, I was 9 months pregnant at her wedding (I found out I was pregnant literally the month she asked me to be in the wedding. I told her I was totally okay with stepping down if she didn’t want someone pregnant in her bridal pics etc. I was happy to attend as a guest as well.) fast forward through the whole planning and actual wedding, she treated me almost identically to the jealous bridezilla day of. She got upset anytime someone spoke to me, or asked me about the baby (who was literally born days later). I’ve known her entire family since we were young and so they all came up to me at some point to catch up, she redirected every single one of them away from me. I spoke to basically no one that day. She forbid me from dancing just in case I danced the baby out. She even cropped me from almost all of the photos.
Needless to say I’ve enforced some major distance but also we have simply grown apart these last years. I don’t see us ever being best friends again.
My wedding was amazing! We had very little money and didn't want my parents to foot the bill; so we chose to have it and the reception at my family's home. The colors were chosen by what my sister would wear as my MOH. She already had a very pretty dress. We made the decorations, food and cake ourselves. My Daddy surprised us with renting a white tuxedo for my husband! It made them both so happy! My photography was mainly my uncle; although several family members also took pictures and every one of them are priceless to us. The "minister " we had found in an advertisement and met with just hours before the ceremony. The whole day cost about $300 . That included my gown too! Wouldn't have changed any of it even if I had $30,000🥰
That's so amazing God bless you girl 🙂
That's goals tbh ✨
Your wedding sounds gorgeous, unique and genuinely lovely!❤
Weddings really shouldn’t be extravagant and expensive events, just a ceremony and a celebration amongst your closest community with the odd +1. If I ever get married, I’m just doing something small where everyone can enjoy themselves and the ceremony isn’t more than 10 minutes. Just vows, i do’s, and the contract kiss shared between spouses. Like, more party than ceremony. But not for so long that it takes half a day to get through and people are sitting on their phones in boredom
This is absolutely the right attitude. May you have many happy years together!
I was in a family member’s wedding once as a bridesmaid. I asked what do you want me to do with my hair. She said she didn’t care. We could all do whatever we wanted. So I had a friend of mine help me with a updo. It wasn’t anything special. Just a basic bun. After she saw it I heard her complaining to her mother that my hair looked better than hers. 🙄 she pouted around for awhile about it. I just left it as is. Not my fault your hairdresser didn’t do a good job. And she said she didn’t care so…🤷🏻♀️
i am absolutely convinced that the jealous lady got married in a rush to impress her family and only hates her wedding day so badly bc nobody gave a shit about her flouncing around all superior and demanding, they instead gravitated toward the positive energy radiating off this genuinely happy woman and the man she married bc she actually liked him.
You mean, whiny and bitter isn't a good look? So THAT is what I've been doing wrong all these years... ;;)
I actually also think that through her jealousy, she focused more on every little comment that was for her "friend" (which might've not even been that many) and not really on any comments she got. I think it was all way less drama as she made it out to be, but in her eyes it was.
@@steph0711 I think you're right. There were probably only a couple of comments made about her friend. That's how unreasonably jealous and dramatic people think. My sister is like that. She's crazy dramatic, especially when she's jealous. If you ask her a question she doesn't like, she'll go "why do you keep bringing that up??!?!" Dude... it was brought up once. Once.
Yeah. Show me a woman who leaves her own wedding reception in a fit of pique, and I'll show you a real asshole.
she said she planned the wedding for 3 years though
7:15 - I let a friend of mine borrow my favorite earrings so she could stretch her holes and not only did she have them FOREVER but she ended up giving them to someone else! When I finally just asked for them back she looked surprised and said oh I gotta get them back from my friend... WHAT. I did get them back but that was just fucked up.
I think she thought you gifted her those earrings. Like... She could keep them and they were her's. Prob why her face was "😧"
@@vaporean_boylove.0w083 I wish that was the case but I literally said "I have a great pair of 4g hangers I can let you borrow.."
I said borrow, not have. I was careful with my words because they were my favorite, as my sister bought them for me.
@@jamieaaw
Hmmm, I see now. Wonder why she was shocked then if you said that phrase. Probably didn't stop her from thinking it but that's still isn't cool. You were clear you are letting her barrow the earrings. No miscommunication here.
@@vaporean_boylove.0w083 who knows, my dude lol it's all good though, she got them back to me and that's what matters. 🙂
Thanks for your perspective though! It's possible she thought I gave them to her, so it may not be as fucked up as I thought after all.
@@jamieaaw
Very happy it had a peaceful ending as well and glad to give that perspective.
The bride that spoke of her “friend’s” pregnancy, handsome husband and positive energy is sad.
Her jealousy really shown through in that post. I bet you she drove her husband crazy talking about her friend’s fine ass husband.😂
She gives me real "Gets mad when you lose weight because she's not the Pretty One anymore" vibes.
I totally agree. The levels of jealousy and insecurity is crazy!
A classic case of genuine happiness versus fake happiness
@@rafaelasabchucalovato9439 I agree! She even talked about how her friend literally sparkled. Her friend sparkles because she was truly happy! She was about to have her first child with her husband she loved! And it really seemed like the OP of the post was just getting married to have a wedding and attention. Not because she truly loved her husband and wanted to marry him. Her happiness was the fake Instagram kind of happiness. You can pretend to be happy and fool other people, but you can never fool yourself.
Wonder how Bridezilla’s marriage is going?
As a wedding photographer I can tell you very confidently that the less you give a crap about unimportant details, the better your wedding will be for everyone, including you. Your mind should be occupied wholly with the love you and your partner share, and appreciation for your friends and family - not focused on flowers, dresses, hair, make-up, whatever. I get wanting the best pictures, making them is literally my job (well, one of them), but people need to understand that wedding photography isn't the same as a fashion shoot. When you look at your pictures later you'll be transported back to the day in memory. Do you want to remember how very much in love you were with your partner and what an amazing day you had with your friends, or how much you argued with someone about something that seems so irrelevant now that ten years have passed? If your bridesmaid shaved her head the day before, do you want to remember "that looks terrible, we never talked again after that", or do you want to chuckle about how shocked you were at first, how much fun she was at the party, and how you bonded even more since then, laughing together over the fit of insanity that must have struck her to make that hairstyle choice?
Wedding photography is about encapsulating memories of a great day, not about producing an alternative vogue cover.
totally. The nicest wedding I've ever been to took place in a park, the bride wore a second hand dress and the food was a barbecue. It was a great party for everyone involved including the bridal couple, who were just happy that so many people could come
This is the best way I've seen this point put out so far. I agree with everything you said
@@coffeepieSpeaking as a Texan here, You NEVER can go wrong with BBQ!
I totally second this!! We got married on a modest budget. We kept it simple because both of us are very simple people. (Indian wedding so remember, even the simplest wedding can be pretty complicated.) We'd promised each other that we won't get upset on the day of no matter what. We both work in the media industry and were familiar with how shoots operate and one thing about those was that no matter how well you plan it, something is bound to go wrong- big or small. Applied the same logic to our wedding. It's a large operation and chances are something will not go right. No matter what, don't let it ruin your day is what we told each other.
Several things went wrong on the day of - catering issues, punctuality issues, my gold slippers went missing... Etc. But we remember the day fondly and still laugh hysterically about my crocs poking out from underneath my saree in the pics... It was wonderful and I wouldn't change a thing about it...
This reminded me of the keeping up with the kardashians episode: Kim and Kanye’s wedding. Kylie showed up with freaking blue hair. Everyone has blonde or black, I can’t remember. Anyway, Kim just took a big breath and said, I guess we will have a wedding with her blue hair then. And she kept doing her make up or whatever. I really respected the maturity there. I did not expect it, but it was such a good scene. A rare one where I learned something valuable. Small details are just that in the grand scheme of things. Small! If you chose to let them disturb you, you will miss the whole day for silliness.
When my husband and I married in 2008, our wedding probably cost a total of $1,000. My mother-in-law paid for my dress ($200) and bought the alcohol. My aunt volunteered to take pictures for us, my husband's aunt helped with the potluck, and my mom's best friend made the cake for us. Those were their wedding gifts to us. My husband's uncle also helped us get a discount on the venue. We didn't ask them for any of these things, but were very thankful that they were willing to do them as a gift for our day. Most of the other guests gave us money, and we used that to take a short trip up north to the UP (Michigan). 13 years later, what I remember is marrying my best friend, surrounded by my family and friends. I do not understand bridezillas.
same here. our wedding cost about $1600 in total including my wedding dress and veil $600 his suit his mother's dress she was dirt poor, flowers, cake, hall rental, dj, minister, etc. my friend did our wedding photos as my gift and they were fabulous. came out looking very professional. my gramma paid for the cold buffet for 40 ppl $240 as a gift my fellow nurse i worked with did it for me as a favour. we were 20 and 21and paid for everything else ourselves. I had 5 bridesmaids, wedding was awesome outdoor ceremony then dinner for 40 then dance for 80. no alcohol at all everyone had a blast. we had only known each other 9 months when we married and it lasted 25.5 yrs then he died days after turning 47. our day was beautiful all i hoped it would be and didn't cost us outrageous amt. everyone enjoyed themselves and had fun. us girls all did our own hair and makeup and looked beautiful. i don't understand these bridezillas acting like complete nasty b*tches to their supposed friends just because they are getting married.
You are a lovely person and I'll bet you and your husband are quite happily married.
15 years next month 🥰
This entire thread just makes me happy. Warmth and fuzziness in a YT comment section?! YES!! Thanks for sharing your stories y’all…❤❤
Sounds like mine right down to the UP. Guess it’s just that Midwestern mentality.
People asking for money for their wedding in lieu of gifts make me sketched out cause my cousin did a similar thing for her wedding, turned out the wedding was fake, her groom and “pastor” were just friends and they were never legally married. They just wanted the money and gifts and then dipped. No one in my family talks to them anymore lol
Hubby and I went to the Justice of the Peace and got married. Took out a $1,000 loan for the outdoor reception, did a huge food haul from Sam's Club and the local Mennonite store. Also went to a party place for all the party supplies we needed and the Dollar General for the items we used for centerpieces. And no, the decor did not look cheap. We're craft people, so it was easy for us to have beautiful centerpieces. My sister made all the boutonnieres and bouquets. Our families and my besties did all the food for said party and my sister-in-law did our wedding cake as her gift to us (a huge, beautiful 4 tiered cake with 4 smaller heart cakes). We provided the drinks (soda pop and kegs of beer. People brought their bottles of whiskey, etc.). Requested no money and no gifts. Our friends and family brought cards and gifts anyway. We went to the bank the following Monday, paid back the loan and were able to go away for a week due to the over-generosity of our friends and family. A great time was had by all! That 1,000 bucks paid for everything with money left over. We didn't want to waste the money on one day with all the bells and whistles that put us in debt or our parents, so we put everything into a great outdoor party! Everyone had a great time. That was in 1998, and family and friends still talk about what a great time they had! These bridezillas need to get it thru their heads: it's their wedding and reception, them/the groom/both of thems parents pay for it. If you got a hamburger budget, don't expect people to pay for your champagne, cavier, and filet mignon appetite!
On another note, You rock, Charlotte! Love your videos!!
Ages ago, wedding gifts were almost always cash. The showers were to give household items to the bride, and then cash at the actual wedding to help the new couple start their life together. It was never asked for but a gift given willingly. There was never an expectation of paying your way into the party. Even when household items as wedding gifts became the norm (IIRC this became common in the 40's and beyond), they were gifts given willingly and according to the giver's financial state. Saying you would rather have money instead of physical gifts is not tacky. Telling people they HAVE to give money and especially setting a limit is very tacky.
Old school etiquette designates that the “obligation “ to give a gift is the guests’, and that there’s NO EXPECTATION of a gift from the bride & groom. One major rule of manners is that you don’t tell your guests they don’t know the rules. A guest should give a gift BUT it’s tacky for the bride/groom to EXPECT one and super tacky to suggest what a gift should be. Consequently it’s tacky to even ask for a particular gift or something in lieu of a gift. Couples traditionally could register for gifts (China and flatware patterns, etc) but guests were only told about registries if they asked. Sending out invites with “registered at Target” or whatever breaks the rule that brides and grooms should never indicate that they expect gifts. If we all followed the rules of etiquette these situations would be rare.
@@Julia-yn5xh i think these days most expect those being married or having babies to be registered somewhere so I find it helpful to have that information without having to ask. It gives the option of being able to chose a gift that is really needed or perhaps a gift card to the same store. Demanding a certain $ amount or gift IS tacky however.
Exactly. When two of my best friends got married, the really didn't have a lot of many (still don't) and obviously tried to save at all ends, but also wanted to be able to invite all their friends and family so had a big venue.
All they were hoping for financially was that their wedding wouldn't generate a big loss, and I think in the end, they could pay it all pretty much exactly with the money they were gifted. Everyone knew they didn't need household items because they were already living together, they just needed money to afford their wedding and to this day it was the most beautiful wedding I have ever been to. ❤️
I still laugh a bit when I think how they unfolded the money from our friendgroup that I had formed into hearts and butterflies just in time to pay the catering with it, which it happened to cover exactly. 😂✌️
I am confused because that is what happened with me and I got married in 2017. At my bridal shower, people gave me and my fiancé household items (my mom did the bridal shower in my new empty house).. and at the wedding, everyone (except 3 couples out of 120 guests) gave us money (one couple gave up cristal frames, one couple gave me a gold ring, and my 2 bridesmaid gave us a honeymoon). I actually was able to keep some of my saved up money because of the money from the guests.
I thought that was the norm everywhere.. and now I realise that my culture must have kept the old tradition ( I am originaly from Lebanon)...
1995 Long Island, NY that is how it was done and how I do it.
A friend of mine got married and since she and her husband were already in their 40s, they didn’t really need anything for their home. Instead, they made their own website with experiences you could buy them for their honeymoon. These ranged from sundown drinks at $20 over diving trips or couples massages at around $200 to pitching in for the honeymoon suite or the flight. They made it clear, that no one was obligated to pay anything. I loved that idea, because you could literally spend as much or as little as you wanted/could and it wasn’t just anonymous money. They thanked each one in a handwritten card and mentioned what they did and how the experience made them feel. The whole thing was very grown-up and personal.
Another great idea! If I wasn't already married I'd definitely be taking notes right now - thanks for sharing!
My friends got married a few years ago (we were all late 20s) and did exactly this too. Gifts ranged from a £5 coffee to much more expensive excursions or helping pay towards hotels. It was clear that any gifts were very much appreciated but completely optional, no entitlement to be seen!
I used to want a fancy wedding. Now that I've found my soulmate, I'm not worried about it! As long as we have the basics; I'm okay :)
I actually feel like the bigger the wedding, the more theatrical it feels. While a smaller or just an 'average' wedding can feel way more like you're actually celebrating and having fun with all your loved ones
Fancy weddings are no fun anyway.
@@steph0711 Very true!
Same! My hubby and I married at the courthouse, and 20 years later, we are happily married and still wildly in love!! We’ve had our ups and downs like all couples,and almost split once, but we have never regretted not having a big expensive wedding! It’s about your love and we love each other so much!!
At one part of my life, basically teenager, I had thought I’d have this big fancy wedding. Dunno why as I can’t stand attention being on myself. Once I actually grew up I realized I just want to elope, maybe each time like 1-3k and buy an amazing outfit that can be worn again (like a quality dress, shoe, jacket etc that are made to last) and then take the witnesses to a nice restaurant. All in all just save that insane money. Plus I hate how clothes are for ONE day. Even Kate Middleton rewears her outfits because she’s a class act and recognizes the waste
A good friend of mine, who I've known since 2004, got married this year. He and his now wife are the most down-to-earth couple you could meet.
Everything was kept very simple. They got married in a registry office and the reception was extremely minimal - about 60 people invited, no limos, no speeches, no gifts expected, no fancy crap, just nice food, music, a ton of drink and a good laugh. Everyone invited was genuine and was there for the right reasons. Best wedding I've ever been to.
I had a situation (20 years ago now) where I was in the small wedding party of a really close friend. The bridesmaids were asked to wear our own string of pearls so we would all match with the bride. I wore the only pearls I have - a double strand I had inherited from my beloved aunt. The bride hit the roof and demanded I not wear mine. Spoiler alert, my pearls were apparently nicer than hers. It’s the only thing I remember clearly about my very close friend’s special day. 😩
oh, r u guys still friends?
also, I wish ur aunt peace and love in heaven :)
she sounds like a lovely person! (as well as u)
" It all starts with being happy for yourself " . Simple but powerful words . Hope many Bridezillas or groomzillas come to Charlotte's channel for changing their behaviour .
So true. It's disturbing how introspection's not really a thing for most people anymore.
I'll give my two cents in. I'm from an Eastern European country and could never understand buying gifts at a wedding. Its mostly a culture thing. Here we give money as presents in a way to cover the costs per person. It's not a minimum amount required but its respectable to figure out the expenses just so the bride and groom can pay for the wedding. Because of that, the venue doesn't require you to pay till after the wedding is over, when you count the money presents from guests. Just culture differences. At the same time it's tacky to actually ask for money directly but it goes without saying.
I agree with this, as a girl from the Balkan.
Belarusian here, agreed.
Y’all, PLEASE spread this to the US.
Like you noticed most of these videos are from US.
Just curiosity, what happens if you don't get enough money in gifts and don't have the money yourself to finish paying? This is why I could never pay 100% at the end. Maybe do a down payment and finish at the end. Then again, I would never pay the full price up front. Just a small amount.
I'm Indonesian, and yeah. We do have kinda same culture. We give money instead of a gift (because a wedding guess can be from 200-1000 guess) so to give a gift as a present, will make it hard for the guess.imagine that after the wedding day the couple will have 3 new rice cooker, and 10 new tea cup set. So money as a gift is much more convenient.
If your close friend getting married then we usually give both money and gift (not mandatory)
But nah, the couple have to pay all of their wedding expenses usually 1 week before the wedding to avoid the lost of the vendor.
Then the money collected as a gift can use for (maybe pay for a party debt? Or a honeymoon etc)
17 years ago in Aug, my husband and I got married ahead of traffic court, lol ... Our whole audience were the folks waiting to see the judge! 🎉💕💙
That's actually a way better story than all the "my engagement ring can't cost less than $80k or I'm breaking up with you" people, and it was only two sentences. Congrats on 17 years!
@@twiggystardust9573 thank you ✨💕
Yes! Courthouse here too! Hubby and I have been happily married 20 years and are very much in love and wild in the bedroom!
@@BookReviewsWithBecky Congrats! 'Couple time' is very important in a relationship, as are the other ones more openly discussed. It is also biologically programmed into us, esp Oxytocin, that builds a better connection between the couple, plus endorphins, etc. If you are both so stressed and exhausted putting this wedding together, then in a snit afterwards, how is this good for anyone? What about the wedding night?
My ex-MIL from Hell sprung a 3-hour after-party on us as we were leaving the country club place 5/6ish , I had been up since 5 a.m., driving 40 minutes home, and we didn't get home until close to midnight. my then-H was great and did everything he could to help all through this, BTW, and WH said no if I didn't say OK. Frankly, I was OK extending the fun day anyway (but I would NEVER do this again, just the opposite). We had to get u[p at 5 a.m. to get ready for the airport. We always had a great time with 'couple time' because we were in love, lots of mutual respect, etc. (should never have broken up with him, BTW, and then when he wanted to reconcile, chose the the now-ex BF, too late now). However, both of us were laying there thinking how exhausted we were but "it is the wedding night, once in a lifetime...". Finally, we looked at each other and blurted it out! The laughing and such gave us a big burst of energy and that night, and the honeymoon, was wonderful when we were just US! The truly happy couple (not even the dogs were there-were with parents lol).
I had the sweetest most intimate wedding at a beautiful historic site wearing a dress that people kept asking where I found such a beautiful dress ($88 at Dillard's it wasn't even a wedding dress!) for under 5k. We served food from an Italian restaurant to save money on food and bought our own liquor and drinks at Costco and hired a liquor server. I spent the most on photography like 25% of the whole budget and it was worth every cent! You can do amazing weddings on the cheap!
Something borrowed, not something extorted!! Hahahaha I chortled. Love ya Charlay!!
When one of my high school friends got married, she and her husband asked guests to pay for their meal instead of buying gifts. I was very happy with that. They'd lived together for a while and that was better than buying something they didn't need. Their ceremony was in the gorgeous garden of their home and the reception was at a lovely, reasonably priced restaurant with good food. It remains one of my favourite weddings I've ever attended.
That's what it sounds like she's doing - meal drinks and a tad more.
I would have no problem with that.
What happened to the days when the families all pitched in and made all the food for the reception? I remember my mother and aunts making all the food for my sister's weddings. Granted, this was in the late 70s and early 80s, but I think it's a wonderful tradition!
Pitching in yes, but when you are demanding things, not so much.
@@FlagCutie that's what I'm saying.
My family still does that. I had my cake made at a bakery, and everything else was made by my mom, my mother-in-law, and myself. This was in 2014.
Other than the cake, my mom and grandmas made all the food for my reception, which took place at my parents' house. It was all great and didn't cost much at all.
@@jenni8982 we've done that, too
It has NEVER been a tradition to ask guests to pay for the wedding. You pay for it yourself or no wedding. This must be a new thing.
No doubt people heard about it on social media and decided it sounded like a good idea. (It's NOT)
I think it is a tradition in some countries, but it certainly isn't in the US.
I dont really think it's a tradition even still - particularly not in the US. The bride just seemed keen on tricking this person into giving them money by claiming "culture". Really weird!
Same here. Totally not a tradition in the States. What is traditional is the bride's parents footing the bill--a tradition my mom's parents ignored, and my parents have made clear they've no intention of following either. They may help, but the majority of the cost is on me and the guy I marry, if/when I marry, same as when they got hitched.
In germany its totally normal to do a "money wedding" where you ask in the invitation just for money gifts. Of course you also dont register anywhere. All the guests show up with envelops and thats it. In my family it always paid off the entire wedding
Don't know what is normal now but we didn't ask for cash gifts but most people give money anyway. That's my favorite gift to give a newly married couple.
My parents’ wedding was bare boned and still more beautiful than some of these weddings I’ve been hearing about!
Actually, my mom’s wedding was the second wedding in two weeks that happened in the same family! Same guests, same food and same pastor and her sister (MOH) wore the same bridesmaid dress she wore at the previous wedding!
And EVERYONE WAS OKAY WITH THAT! From the pictures I’ve seen, it was a wonderful day and it was the perfect way to start a marriage (30 years strong!)
My hubby and I married on Halloween 2015. Our wedding was done on a £1500 budget and 12 week timetable.
My maid of honour and I found her 2 dresses for £20 my dress was a gorgeous burgundy and including adjustments was £500.
My MOH and I did the invites, order of service etc by hand. We had the ceremony at the registry office and the party in our favourite pub with buffet and if people wanted a full meal they could order from the menu.
I used to DJ for eve radio and invited some of my DJ friends over to Scotland for a get together party (they came from Greece, Finland, Cornwall and northern England) picking up the cake topper on route. I made my cake and sweet nibbles.
People still talk about the wedding as it was so relaxed and very us. I love your bridezilla videos as they remind me of when I did wedding cakes as a business and if my intractable migraine ever ends and hubby and I can get a home which would pass EHO inspection I would love to do again. We did the wedding on a budget as that is what we had but looking back we wouldn't change a damn thing as our friends all came in past the pub on route to other parties costumes where amazing and the comments I got about my "costume" where flippantly replied to with "oh it not a costume I did actually get married X hours ago"
The pub thanked us as they had djs which after a reasonable amount of time took requests from patrons not just our party increasing their revenue for the night massively. I was even dragged up to the DJ area to play a few tunes.
Do your wedding your way and screw convention as that is just boring but remember it is about the 2 of you committing to each other in front of your friends and family
I went to the wedding of a friend in 2001 that was done on a very tight budget and it's the best one I've ever been to because it was a bunch of people who all knew each other celebrating the marriage of two people who were in love. The food was make-your-own sandwiches off deli trays and deli salads, someone had made the cake, the decorations were fake flowers from discount dep't stores and dollar stores. There were tea lights floating in dollar store bowls that had fancy pebbles in the bottom, filled with water. My friend, me, and a bunch of her high school friends decorated the church and church all-purpose hall, and a friend's dad was the DJ. SO. MUCH. FUN! The second-most enjoyable wedding was a cousin's. The service was in one room at a local hotel and it didn't take long. We went down to the largest of the reception/banquet halls on the other end of the building for the reception and celebrated his marriage to the woman he loved. What made the weddings fabulous was the shared joy over and celebration of the marriage, and people having a sense of party and cutting loose at the reception.
When my husband and I got married, we didn't have a shower and I sent in the invitations that instead of regular gifts or a registry, we were going to just have a money tree at the wedding. Everyone just bought a card and put whatever money they would've spent on a gift into it. We had a really artistic silver sculpture to hold the cards and the money we got we used on our honeymoon. I have zero regrets about doing it that way and our families and friends enjoyed not having to stress about buying a wedding gift (this was back before you could do an online registry so the money tree was actually way easier for everyone).
Wow that's a great idea.
I didn't know about money tree before. I am from Asia. From now on I will do this in every occasion. It looks really cute, totally private, no unwanted gifts that might end up gift recycling or ebay/Amazon resale.
Thanks a ton. 🙂
@@noziashahapor9299 I'm glad I could help! 😃
I love getting money when I got married because it enabled me to put together the smaller amounts and buy a mixer and set of pots and pans that I wouldn’t have been able to buy otherwise. I learned from that experience that money is a great gift for weddings and baby showers
"Is it okay if I wear my own jewelry?"
"Yes. But if it's really nice, give it to me to wear. If it's ugly, ew, what is wrong with you?"
I believe "Mary" would have complained no matter what.
In Mexican weddings, we have "Padrinos" like Patrons ig would be the best translation. The Padrinos pay for certain things, like one for the Alcohol, one for the food, one for the flowers etc. Depending on how wealthy the family is and how big the wedding is you have more or less Patrons to help the parents of the couple. The parents usually cover most of the wedding though. The couple asks specific family members to be Patrons, and they are usually acknowledged during the party to thank them for helping out. They also sometimes get specific Recuerdos aka Keepsakes, something more pricey than what the other guests get.
We had a lot of people not show up for our wedding after saying they were coming. I was super pissed as we were paying for everything ourselves and that was a lot of money to us. I still couldn’t imagine sending a thank you card like that! You never know what caused them to not come and you’ll definitely burn bridges with that stunt 😬
I mean, where and in what time period do they live? if something caused them to not come they could've called, texted, sent an email etc.
it's definitely rude for them to be so careless of other's time, effort and money, and when they wouldn't apologize after the wedding then they burned the bridge themselves
One of the best weddings I’ve ever been to was my friend’s from college. The bride was six months pregnant, one of her bridesmaids was in a wheelchair, and the bride’s mother did not attend due to some strange religious reasons. But we all had a great time! And the wedding was lovely.
She had it at a local country club. It was not one of those posh, exclusive country clubs. Just a nice place for people to play golf. It was decorated like a hunting lodge with lots of wood and high beamed ceilings. They did the catering which was a buffet. And off of the dining room there was a huge deck that looked out over the lawn and the forest. It was beautiful!
If I ever get married again, I will probably have it at the same venue.
I remember when asking for money in lieu of a gift was considered tacky. Now in the age of entitlement, I have to wonder if it will just become the norm that everybody else has to foot the bill for other people's wedding. If that is the case, I'm adopting a strict "no weddings" policy for myself. It's so gross.
I understand your reservations, but it’s a bit shit if you have to budget for aunts, uncles, cousins - and their kids - who don’t:
a. Give a flying fart about you, or b. Don’t know you at all, or c. You don’t even like.
Having said that, it's the marriage which is important, not the wedding.
It used to be that people only gave money at weddings. Gifts were for engagement parties or showers.
@@jenni8982 And you know what, I always give money, especially if the couple are already living together. I just don't like it when we're told that's what is expected or they can't afford their wedding.
Long ago my husband and I did the registry stuff, but also did a registry for home items we needed and couldn't afford. A cousin who had a business took in the contributions for those items, and while we were on honeymoon, turned cash into the items like a lawn mower, a microwave ( new invention then that were expensive), and vacuum. We got comments from my side of the family who chose to give wine glasses and vases that nevr got used. But we felt that if several people donated towards one item like a vacuum which lasted 25yrs was great. I kept the wedding fists under 1000 bucks. And was obligated to host his and my aunts and uncles. No room for our friend outside the wedding party. Looking back I would have done it different, but still included the church ceremony.
I always love these. And no. In America, I've never once helped pay for any of my friends weddings. I have helped set up, or serve food, or help clean up... but no. I don't got cash like that, and neither do most Americans
I am with you @ErIka Russell. I am also from the US and have been to several weddings. I think it is totally fine to suggest Honeymoon donation in lieu of a gift but neither should be a requirement. It's the gift of sharing the day with those you love that is really what matters. I have donated wine for the reception as a gift, flowers for the bridal party, purchased shoes for the bridal party, set-up and clean-up, including transporting gifts, flowers, cake top to the respective location... .All of my friend brides were more than happy with the help as my "gift". Asking people to pay is not the norm in my friend group.
When I feel sad since I have no friends to hang out with. I love to watch your videos, helps cheer me up
I've been with my husband about 5 years and we wanted to marry 2-3 years ago but some of my health issues(and depression) made it hard to plan a whole wedding but we're both kinda hermits who don't enjoy big parties and just like living our quiet life together with exception to visiting family on holidays. We love our families and wanted to make them happy but we just looked at eachother and agreed we just really want to be legally married as we already wear rings and have lived together for 4 years. So we made an appointment at our local courthouse for a confidential marriage tomorrow and I'm super excited to be his wife legally. We still want to plan a little dinner party at his moms house later with family since they wanted to celebrate it but im kinda relieved I don't have to worry about paying for all kinds of things like a venue. What matters at the end of the day is that you're in love and completely confident that your partner is the going to be a kind, loyal, and loving person for the rest of your hopefully long life filled with fun. I wish anyone of you who read this a beautiful life and year that's better than the last. Don't sweat the little things 🌻
You´re the highlight to my day, especially the bridezillas, entitled people and Karen videos. Love from Namibia
The necklace thing was weird! I have a custom Tiffany necklace that my friend thinks is really beautiful. I OFFERED to lend it to her on her wedding because it represented our group of 5 friends and her 2 parents with its 7 little hearts. That made it special for her to wear.
My wife and I had a perfect wedding. Afternoon at a courthouse with a very funny and friendly judge presiding with our immediate family as guests. After the ceremony we handed out cupcakes and had a zoom cake cutting event. We payed for it ourselves and saved up for a badass honeymoon in Orlando. Best week of my life.
Good for you guys , all the best wishes...
That sounds lovely.
You can never go wrong with cupcakes! Congrats on your wedding!
Same here! My hubby and I got married at the courthouse 20 years ago and we haven’t regretted it for a minute! We are still wildly in love and having a great time in the bedroom!
That sounds lovely
I'm so sick of all these people who are getting married thinking it's an opportunity to fleece their friends and family out of money. PAY FOR YOUR OWN DAMN WEDDING!
Different culture. Don't go to a Turkish wedding.
My sister had a simple courthouse wedding and it was the only wedding I've enjoyed going to. The judge who officiated was a really nice, charming guy and the ceremony took place in front of a big Christmas tree covered in paper cranes which was cool considering my side's Japanese heritage. The reception was in the private room of a really nice restaurant. Some of the best food I've ever had. And they hired a great photographer so the pictures turned out awesome. The grand total was probably a few grand which is a lot of money but nowhere near what some people think you have to spend on a wedding.
We asked money instead of gifts for our wedding as I am Turkish and in our culture, people give money/jewellery or gold coins to help out the married couple and we were getting married in Canada so this was our way to explain my family tradition to our guests. We didn’t have any gift registry either. We also didn’t get upset with people who still chose to give gift instead of money. We literally end up paying for our wedding with all money that we got as we didn’t plan too expensive wedding. Our wedding was so much fun and everybody had great time. No drama! 😉
I’m Turkish too and I think our tradition of giving money and gold is a very good one!
I had a hippie wedding in a campground a few hours outside the city where I live - a very beautiful & scenic one with electricity, real bathrooms & showers to be clear lol. Had a friend who was a minister. The rest of my friends got sites all around ours, pitched tents & we had a blast the whole weekend. There was canoeing, airboats, horseback riding, hiking and a very cute tourist town nearby, tucked away in a valley, that was like taking a trip back in time (homemade ice-cream shop was a hit). At night there was a campfire, drinking & laughter. I told them all no gifts - just be there for us & some fun. Cost for my guests: gas money. And my minister worked for beer 🤣
THAT would be a dream wedding for me!
I was supposed to marry the love of my life in 1989. We both had big families with close ties. We were going to be married at a small country church built in 1880, and have the reception at an old dance hall about a mile away that was built by my great-grandfather in 1890. It was the same place my family had annual reunions, in a lovely small Texas town famous for it's German/Czech immigrant heritage. Instead of catering, we were going to have a pot-luck because both of our families had wonderful cooks.
Sadly, he died unexpectedly at age 32, so my dream day never happened. I'm still friends with his sisters and mother all these years later. I still dream about him, and in my dreams, we had that wonderful day.
@@LazyIRanch I'm so sorry for your loss. You would have had a wonderful life together, I bet
❤
@@LazyIRanch ❤
This sounds like my dream wedding !! It sounds like sssooo much fun. Wishing you the very best in life !!
I've been to a few weddings where you either had to "buy" a seat at the party (no cost for attending the wedding itself) or simply had to pay for whatever food you ordered yourself. I'm totally okay with that, I even was offered not to pay for my seat once because I'm vegetarian and they only offered pork schnitzel (do not fret, in the end the cook took pity and breaded some cheese for me :D :D :D). And there always was some arrangement for people who simply couldn't afford the seat / meal.
It MIGHT be a cultural thing (I'm from Central Europe), but I guess it's more about the way the bride and groom ask. Nobody ever DEMANDED money, we were always asked nicely, and we knew how much the (fairly humble) weddings already cut into the purses of the couples and their families. And nobody ever got un-invited from the wedding - there always was a way to get everyone a seat that wanted to attend. Sometimes the bride and groom just paid it out of their own pocket, sometimes the rest of us raised the money.
(Oh, and we're talking like 25-50 bucks here ... 150 for "good food" and "deserving the wedding of our dreams" is an itsy bitsy tiny little bit entitled, yes ...)
May I ask where in Central Europe you're from? I'm German and never heard of this - although in my region it is custom to give money to the couple instead of things as a gift, and it is considered polite to give the money your seat and meal cost as a minimum (if you can afford it - that "rule" does not apply to students or guests with otherwise small budget). So you do pay for the seat as a guest, but only indirectly by your gift, and you are never asked to beforehand.
@@annkathrinhanamond2982 Right next door from Austria :D
No idea whether that's a catholic thing, or it's just a coincidence. It feels "normal" to me because I've witnessed it quite a few times, but I have absolutely no idea whether other people would feel the same way over here.
In Brazil, the concept is taking form very strongly, "casamento por adesão", the couple says, we're going to a given restaurant to celebrate, if ya want to go, is a R$ quantity ya have to pay. We had some invitations to these kind of weddings, we ended up not going for personal reasons, and the couple was luckily understanding. It is all in the way it is said.
@@rafaelasabchucalovato9439 Interesting, thanks!
I got asked to be matron of honour for a great friend last year. It blew me away to be asked, as she has friends she's known lots longer than me. I offered to do the wedding flowers, table decorations, buttonhole flowers for the guys, and a corsage for the groom's mum, as my gift to the couple. It's also a hobby of mine that I don't get to do much, and I loved doing it. She hadn't asked me to do anything, other than be there for her, as we'd been for each other anyway.
Because it was summer in Australia, we went the artificial flower route. We both still have our bouquets, and our friendship is as strong as ever.
The most romantic wedding I ever witnessed was in a garden in a local park. I heard a lone saxophone playing softly. I walked towards the sound to see the musician and officiant standing in a gazebo with the groom ( wearing a suit).
There were maybe 6 other people there watching.
The bride walks out in a beautiful tailored cream suit with a wide brimmed hat on and a tiny nose gay of flowers.
It was about a 5 minute ceremony and they went off to one of the restaurants in the park for their reception.
When they kissed we all clapped. They hadn’t noticed by a group of us was watching from the other side of the garden.
All smiles and laughter.
Quick, easy, beautiful.
Love these videos! Can’t believe the audacity/nerve these bridezillas/groomzillas demonstrate! WOW!💙💛🪴
I feel "entitled" to watch the best Channel on RUclips. So here i am. You can't get better than Charlotte's Channel.❤️
And if i can't i demand to speak to the manager!
@@datgaydangernoodle1315 😂😂😂
😂
I feel entitled to not having misleading video titles. Over half of the video is AITA posts. Which is fine but that should be in the title since it makes up the majority of the video. Every. Single. Video about brides is 80% AITA posts. I follow 4 RUclipsrs who exclusively do AITA posts. So I've already heard all of these. It's just getting really frustrating for me because I get my car click on one of her entitled Bride videos start driving and the majority of the video is just posts from the AITA subreddit I've already heard and I can't change the video until I hit a stoplight or get to my destination. It's just super frustrating for me. Even if she did the title like entitled brides featuring AITA or something so I could just know to skip it that would be super helpful. Idk it's really weird like she's trying to hide the fact these are AITA posts because she never mentions that's what they are and purposefully doesn't read any comments from the post that mention if the OP is TA or not. Idk it's just weird.
That last one is ridiculous!!! And I'm someone who actually did ask people to gift is cash at our wedding but we did it so differently.... We actually printed out a list of things we wanted as gifts on the back of our wedding card... - family recipes, numbers of good real estate agents, seeds for house plants, art projects from the little ones in the family... At the very end, we mentioned that if anyone wanted to give things beyond that, we'd like cash since we were setting up our home together. (we had already paid for our wedding) EVERYONE gave us cash. I mean, we got a lot of recipes, seeds, and hand made cards too but the cash we got helped us do up our new home, invest and have a little bit of fun! We hadn't mentioned any amount because we can't decide for others how much they'd like to spend. But every penny, lovingly given, helped us a lot!! I would have been ashamed to brazenly ask my friends to pitch in to PAY for the wedding!!! We saved for a year to pay for ours!
That's super cute, and I would totally steal that idea for my wedding were it not for the fact I got married 5 years ago! 😂
@@purpleicicles 🤣🤣 congrats on the 5 years!! And friends and acquaintances still ask for copies of our card so that they can make something similar... We are glad our goofy idea is worthy of replication! Feel free to use it in any weddings that you may be helping to plan too!
@@ThoughtfulPotato Thank you for the congrats, and for the generosity with your idea - not a wedding planner, but I live for the day someone asks me for ideas or advice! 😂
Just never ceases to amaze me! Keep these coming, Queen, because they are always fascinating! Especially the ones where the wedded couple are asking their guests to pay for the wedding. *Where they do that at??!!* It's simple - plan the wedding you can afford - everyone that I know saves up and has their wedding once their financial goal has been met. Periodt.
Hands down the best wedding I went to was a civil service at the town hall followed by a feast in a marquee in the garden of the couple's home. As immigrants they had no family in Australia so invited about 50 friends who all brought a plate of food for the banquet. There was heaps to choose from and the groom had made several music tapes and put on plenty of booze. We all danced until midnight but as there was too much food left over, everyone returned the next day (Sunday) for an informal picnic in the garden which again lasted all day. Literally married on a shoestring. (The bride wore a cocktail dress that I had embellished for her and we all took photos and gave them to her.)
I love how you bluntly talk about either not letting anyone borrow/loan anything or how much you despise it, especially something expensive or special! I've been taking tips everything you talk about it 😅
Yes. The bride feeling entitled about the necklace is petty AF.
it turned out it was actually because OPs partner had pranked the brides sister in the past by inviting her on a date but showing up with a 'bouquet' of bacon fries and a pig stuffed animal wearing the necklace and the bride didn't want her sister to be reminded of it when she saw it and was just making an excuse.
Best part of that last story is how OP was like "I didn't think we were close enough to loan money." So does that mean this bridezilla invited literally anyone she knew just so she could milk people for $$ over people she truly wanted to be there?
I had this friend of a friend , I mean I knew her for many yeaes and we would hang out and all but it was a different vibe from my other friends, we have always been like that we were ok, but just not that close, when she was getting married she told us all, and we were all happy , she included me in the bachelorette party I knew it through a mail a cousin of hers sent to a bunch of us, U
Inever knew that cousin, and at that point I thought ,obviously that I was invited to the wedding. But then everyone got their invitations except for me, so I ask the girls first, to make sure I was not mistaken, if it was a common thing to invite me at the bachelorette only ,here in Spain,( I am originally Moroccan and even growing up there never knew how spanish weddings worked at that time) they said no, usually I should go to the wedding too. So my assumption was, that she probably made a mistake and I was not invited to the wedding, or her cousin probably made a mistake taking mails of her pc ,contactsetc, The rest of girls agree with me ,because the bride is very organised she would never make a mistake like that. So, one week prior to the wedding I get a DM ,where she tells me that she has just now realized ( after almost ayear and a half ,sending invites and getting rvps, and realising a lot of people are not attending the wedding for whatever reasons) that my invitation is missing. I knew she only wanted to fill the emply chairs she was going to have . I obviously said no, in a very polite way, since I was working and a week was not enough time for me to ask for the day off or get a dress etc...We are still friends and all, and still as " close" as before.
Zactly! Friends are invited to be part of your wedding, not bloody acquaintances!
Yeah she honestly sounded like maybe acquaintance level of relationship with the bride? They obviously don't know each other that well.
But what struck me is the bride and bridesmaid calling it "part of culture" to give money for friends weddings... in the US lol Apparently her only way of even asking is to trick and lie to people to get them to give it to her. She sounds like a nutter
I can't even wrap my head around people asking guests to pay for their wedding. It's a glorified party! I'm not paying for YOUR party. What's next, asking to pay for sweet 16s so they can get their first car?
Yeah.... where I live there's a percentage of the Latino population that's always asking for people to be padrinos (godparents) for wedding or Quinceañera party expenses. Basically you pay for the cake, drinks, flowers or something like that and your name gets added to the program. Basically a list of sponsors lol. I'm from Mexico and had never heard of this until I got to this part of the US. I had heard of the religious godparents of brides and grooms wearing a certain color, like an extended wedding party, but not the money thing. My family and I were always of the opinion of you have the party that you can afford. So yeah, mom and I were surprised when we first were asked about this lol
🤣 In Miami it is custom at Cubans sweet 16's that you pay for the party. They also request you pay for baptism and bridal parties. I had to stop going. I couldn't afford to pay for their parties.
Maybe they should bring sandwiches for the people at their table
@@FlagCutie My mom grew up with that understanding too. You have the main godparents and that's it. It may be a combo of regional customs (we're from Guadalajara) and a generational thing - as a couple of my friends had padrinos for every little thing at their quince. Since being in the US, I don't think I've ever been to a quince where they had just the one godparent(s).
@@sunflowerbaby1853 Wow that is just insane to me. I’d rather have you come then have you pay for it. Like to me the people matter more then the money and I’m an introvert that prefers just to be alone in general lol but when it comes to something like that I’d choose you over your wallet
I'm down with having a wedding full of other people's drama. My husband and I would have been sitting there talking shit about everyone.
😂😂
It's like dinner with a free show
We did our reception at a restaurant and asked for everyone to pay for their meals instead of giving us gifts. Everyone seemed pretty happy with how it went. Everything else was paid out of pocket but we did it with our budget and managed to get everything under 2k (including the dress which was second hand). People still talk about our wedding years after as being the most fun. The less that you stress about it, the more fun it actually is. Nobody is expecting you to pull out 20k for one day. 😊
I'm in the UK and no way would my mate's agree to pay for my wedding. Regardless of race or religion.If you can't afford it you can't have it, simple.
I feel you Char I hate letting people borrow things, irresponsible people that is.I let my husband's cousin borrow MY lawnmower and weed eater (I love cutting my grass) with the weed eater I had THREE batteries and of course he only returned TWO claiming I only lent him two! 🙍🏾♀️Moral of the story is when letting people borrow my things I just chop it up as a lost.🤷🏾♀️😔
@@Cynophileandavianenthusiast "No good deed goes unpunished" is a saying for a reason. Before you lend anything now, you have to make a person sign and date a contract (and take a picture) and you'll still have to ask them for it back (and you're the AH for asking!)
Ughhh that "no you only lent me two" irked me so hard, I hate this feeling of powerlessness and betrayal. It's now your memory against a friend's/family member's.. which is so much worse cuz you can't argue with them without stiring personal shiz up
This is why the only person I trust to loan books to is my sister.
Of course, she’s generally the only one wanting to borrow the books
I'm so in the mood to see Charlotte call out some audacity queens 👑
I just got engaged. My two friends that are already married but couldn’t have a wedding yet are planning to have one now. I’m so excited to have all these moments together and help each other plan
I'm am so addicted to these bridezilla stories. It makes my day to hear how insane people truly are. Lol
My friends and I all got married over the same summer. We planned it to make sure everyone had time for their events and preparation. It was so much fun! I loved their weddings and I hope they enjoyed mine.
I love that the one couple would rather spend their money on their house, when it's their wedding.
But it's a once in a lifetime event for their guests and they should pay $150 for the seat...Bish I can see Beyonce for that and it'll be a better show than your wedding.
Some weddings are fun, most are something you attend out of obligation for loved ones. I've never been to one that was a once in a lifetime event for anyone but the bride and groom!
You might be able to see Kelly or Michelle for that price, but not Queen B. Your point still stands though. I certainly wouldn’t pay $150 for a wedding.
Yeah I don’t get how any couple can really think that I, as a guest, see your wedding as a once in a lifetime event for me (I mean unless it was like flying to some exotic local most people could never get into and eating food made by some top class chef. Like as you said if it was Beyoncé’s wedding but these people aren’t Beyoncé)
They also seem to forget there are many people who not only can’t afford to spend that sort of money for a wedding, but they also don’t want to.
I’d rather put $150 on my own house 😂
@@Kiina312 Amen
Me and my husband payed for my whole wedding and didn't go into debt over it. We shopped for everything, and planned everything. Everyone I loved was there and it was special. It was also beautiful. I don't understand going into debt over one day. Also the bride thinking the day is all about them when it's their husbands day too. We actually (you won't believe this) had fun doing the whole thing. Weddings don't have to be a horribly expensive, stressful thing.
My husband and I did the same thing. Even found my gown at a discount bridal shop on the last year's fashion rack. Paid $120 for it. Had a great time
I totally understand that jealousy can be super hard. My brother got married to his wife a few weeks after I got married to my husband.
It wasn’t a big deal because it made things convenient for family traveling to visit both weddings.
But my husband and I wanted kids and didn’t have luck for a long time. Literally the day after I felt like I should just give up, my brother’s wife announced she was pregnant.
Of course I was super happy for them. I love babies! But I also hated that I felt jealous.
I didn’t end up having any kids for years after that. And during my sister-in-law’s pregnancy I decided I would crochet things for her baby to help myself feel more at peace. It really helped, and of course she was super sweet And said she loved everything I made.
The baby was born without a right hand. It just never grew. But he’s nearly six years old now and I honestly forget he’s missing a hand sometimes because he’s just so capable and happy.
Plus, he’s a very fun playmate for my two sons. ❤️
Jealousy is something we can overcome if we use loving actions rather than lashing out. We might be hurting, but everyone is going through something. Be gentle to each other.
that's the thing though, it's completely natural to be jealous, it's not natural to be an asshole about it. You seem like a great person.
I don't understand why people make such a big deal about weddings being "their" day. The universe doesn't care about what's planned for a particular day or accommodating your plans. It poured on our wedding day from start to finish, but we didn't let it ruin things. We still got married, our loved ones were with us & had fun, and everyone made it home safely afterwards. And if you invite people to a party, you don't charge the guests for showing up. They are paying to be there and usually contribute a gift, don't charge them for their food too.
Weddings are expensive. Period. My wife and I DIY'd it in our own backyard. Made our own food, etc. It was still expensive as hell. But despite all that, I still would never have DREAMED of asking guests to pay for it. That's just insane but I'm learning through this channel that people are just entitled beyond a degree that I ever thought possible.
I hafta say the favorite part of my day is Charlotte's videos. Girl, I could absolutely see myself inviting you over, having a few drinks & laughing so hard, we disturb the neighbors. You are by far my favorite, keep doin what ya do luv, you're killin it ❣️❣️ Have a safe & happy holiday 🥰🥰
I'll be honest it's weird to ask for your guests to pay but as long as you don't expect them to bring other gifts in between and keep it reasonable (150$ seems to be a lot) and don't get mad at the guests that don't feel like paying that much to come, why not?
As far as the rest of the self-aware brides are concerned, why do you think it's okay to make people deliberately look "worse" than you do? At my wedding plenty of my friends were looking astounding and I'm glad they did! All that matters is that they're there with me to celebrate :-)
I think the most fun thing we did at my sister's wedding was the money dance lol. Neither of them asked for money but everyone just secretly decided that as soon as we all started dancing we were gonna pin money all over them lol. It was great and i got to pin a 100 on my BIL lol. And my sister's veil was just covered in bills by the end of it lol.
My sister was the absolute opposite to a bridezilla, and i honestly think she was far too gracious with some people, like our father, at the party. But she was happy so thats all that really mattered.
How insecure must you be to have your wedding day ruined by someone else's necklace? It's going to steal attention? From the (presumebly) white/sparkly/laced-dressed bride? People are going to talk about it?
All the weddings I went to people talked 1)about themselves 2) about food
My husband and I couldn’t afford a wedding. We got married in my mothers living room. She had a nice fireplace. The people that are asking for money and expecting everything to be just handed over need a reality check. It’s disgusting when a bride makes EVERYTHING about them. Wedding used to be a celebration of a couple and families joining together, not some jerk who needs an Instagram post….
I got married in 1988 and my dad was a chef and he made all the food. Had a friend who was a photografer who did it for free. The place we had our wedding party we got for free.No one paid anything to come to our wedding. All we paid for was the food and beverages alcoholic and non alcoholic. We ended up pay around 1200 dollars :)
Well isn't that something 🙄
Do you know that the more expensive the wedding, the more likely it is to fail?
You’re part of that statistic.
Disclaimer: This is true for weddings in the UK. Other countries may vary... doubt it, though.
My best friend got engaged three months after me, and I absolutely LOVE IT! Wedding planning and doing bride things with my bestie has been AMAZING!!!
I also agree that aside from these Bridezilla/Groomzilla posts, I’ve NEVER heard of people demanding guests to chip in for wedding costs like it’s a normal thing to do. Have the wedding celebration you can afford, lunatics!
Yaaaas i look forward to my daily dose of Charlotte each morning!