I cried in front of my ex. She responded in disgust lol. At the beginning of the relationship she said "I don't understand why men feel like they can't be emotional in front of women." Haven't cried in front of a woman since
Faaaacts. Crying in front of women will turn them off. It's biological and they see it as weakness. As much as they say they like a vulnerable man, they will then use you as a puppet because they see you're emotional.
@@eduantech That's what it comes down to lol. Men whine so much because they want everything in black and white and women want fun and excitement. Us men, have to start manning the fuck up. This is a general question video. No chick is gonna be upset with you crying infront of her if you just lost someone in a house fire etc...
I cried in front of my gf once. She got mad, not because I was crying, but because I apologized for it. She started bear hugging me and wouldn’t let me go until I admitted that there’s nothing wrong with crying. That’s when I knew she was a keeper.
Cried in front of my girlfriend one time. She responded by giving me a hug and talked through it with me until i felt better. She's cried in front of me many times as well. That was a while ago. She's my fiance now. We'll be married in 105 days.
The first time I cried in front of my girlfriend, I was at the lowest point I’ve ever been in my life. Was living away from home, felt completely isolated and alone; and she was leaving that day to go back to our hometown. She proceeded to cancel her trip back, stay with me a full extra day and honestly it saved me. She’s the best.
Compromise not every man will be fortunate enough to have a woman that will be okay with it, there simply isn't enough of them to go around. Population would nose dive.
@Jay-qu2bc genuine question, what does that have to do with anything? Yes, men and women have physical differences but at the end of the day we're both just people.
@@dingocheez766no. Women and men are fundamentally different. Same as cultures, religions, nations. To think that after all we are all same is arogance.
Cried in front of my ex, I had lost my father a few months ago and was scared to lose her too. She said in response to my crying if I was acting. That snapped me out of it and I went cold. That really hurt. Definitely only cry in front of the right girl and if it’s necessary to express your feelings. Otherwise do it in your own private and safe space.
Thats such a disgustingly unhealthy habit though lmao. "Just bottle it up" If you dont feel comfortable expressing those feelings with your partner, you should talk to them about it. If they scoff at you, kick them to the curb cuz they don't care about your well being.
Maybe she asked you if you were acting because there had been months since your father's death, that she found it weird you didn't show emotions before?
My boss told me how she is trying to raise her son to express his emotions, unlike her brother who is more stoic. She also told me how unattractive it is when her husdband cries. I often see that women will say that want men to be emotional, but in reality they have a visceral reaction to seeing a man they like cry.
I've seen my dad cry only once out of happiness. It happened because his parents were happy and proud of us, their grandchildren. He's the manliest man I've ever met. I love him so much.
i cried in front of my girl, i was emotionally vulnerable in front of her within a few months of dating. we are now 3+ years strong. dont lose hope fellas
As a man, it takes something incredibly serious, like a death in the family or a really bad breakup for me to cry. Otherwise, no matter how hard I try, I'm physically incapable of crying. This is not me trying to appear level-headed or stoic. This is just how the large majority of men were raised. I have to be at my literal emotional breaking point. My point is, 9 times out of 10, if a man cries in front of you, it's not because he is weak but because he has been strong for too long.
I once cried about movie of a boy in Japan that saw his little sister(the last person who survived of his family due to WW2 atomic bomb attack ) dies slowly from illness and starvation I'm 23 now and shed a few tears again when I saw it again Just wondering if that is reasonable
I actually have the same problem. I might tear up a bit in something sad , but for my body to release a full on cry it should be something real bad. Otherwise I feel like I am forcing it
My brother was holding a speech at his wedding and poured out some words because our mom was depressed since our grandma died 4 days before the wedding. she didnt attend the wedding until then and just when my brother was about to finish his speech my mom was entering the hall in front a quiet crowd of people and my brother couldnt hold back his tears because she managed to get herself together and attend to the most important day of her firstborn child. Almost everyone in the hall could hold back because it was pretty emotional. When I saw that his now-wife cried aswell like a baby and hugged them both dearly - mom and my brother - I realized that a woman that truly loves you will never see you as less or unworthy when you cry infront of her... But! you should ofc not be a whiny sausage either (its a sign of immaturity)
@@TheKillaShowthat’s not contradicting at all. Being able to open up and show emotions =/= throwing a tantrum every time something doesn’t go your way.
Most women will give an answer to make themselves look virtuous in a group scenario. Their real answer will be something different Example: how many times have you heard a woman say that they can't stand a man that your particular social group knows of...only to find out a while later that she's slept with him.
I’m a woman who grew up in a household with men who weren’t afraid to open up and talk about their emotions and cry. So I’ve always felt kind of disconnected from the idea that men shouldn’t cry ‘cause that’s not how I was raised. My father never told my brothers to “man up” whenever they cried, and as an adult, I’m starting to realize how incredibly beneficial that was to not only my brothers, but myself as well. I feel like men and women should work together to dispel this kind of ideology so that we wouldn’t have to worry about these kinds of things that much.
@@solbutton1611 Don't you think this can actually be harmful to men? When someone says men aren't crying as much as women and that is bad, isn't this like some women trying to make men like them because they feel more emotionally vulnerable than men? And since vulnerability is seen as weakness, so some of those women feel like they are inferior in some way and they want to (equalize that)? I know that alot of females want some level of vulnerability in their man because it feels like she is special to him and important, but I feel there are some women who just want to (equalize) every thing about men and women, so when they see a high level of vulnerability or weakness in themselves, they want men to have that as much as them. Also, don't you think a very emotionally vulnerable person will be more likely to throw fits and get angry and emotional with his day to day experience? Is that a good thing?
@@MA-gu2up None of that was my intention, but I get what you’re saying. I have a sense that a lot of people are trying to equalize men and women too much, and I do see the cons in that. My worry with men bottling up their emotions is that when anyone tends to bottle up their emotions, they might not know how to deal with them and react in a poor manner. Kinda gonna get personal, but I used to do that and ended up self-h@rmin& (not sure if YT blocks comments with those words). Despite what I said in my initial comment about my dad and brothers being more vulnerable, it took me a while to be like that myself despite me being the only girl. With depression in particular, I kept that locked within me for years before finally telling my dad about it, and now I see the power of being more open and vulnerable (I do also understand that I’m still a woman and that if a man were to do this, they would still be seen as weak, so my experience is different. But at least you get where I’m coming from). At least with the people you love. I’m not saying dudes should just cry out randomly on the streets. Or that they should cry about every little thing. But if things get overwhelming, then I don’t see any harm in letting that out emotionally, if that’s your thing. If you still don’t wanna be vulnerable, that’s fine. If you do, that’s fine. I just don’t think there should be stigma or teasing towards the guys who do wanna open up more.
@@solbutton1611 I hope you are fine now. You see, because alot of women can't handle not opening up about their emotional problems and so on, and because women are more susceptible to negative emotions (sadness, anxiety, depression) compared to men, those women think men are the same when it comes to that. I think you were even more vulnerable than your brothers actually, you probably cried more and so on, but you noticed that your brothers didn't encounter the problems you encountered, and you thought that is because they are more vulnerable than you, well, no , it is because they are less susceptible to negative emotions compared to you actually. By the way, in the study of depression and so on, did you know that physically stronger people are less likely to be depressed? There is a correlation there. Vulnerability is defined as quality of being easily harmed physically or emotionally. According to this definition, women are naturally more vulnerable (physically or emotionally), that is one of the reasons women need to (open up) more, and they also cry more generally speaking. So I'm not saying men don't need to (open up), in the end, we all have times of weakness and need, but they don't need to (open up) as much as women, because they are less vulnerable to physical and emotional harm. When some women say (men shouldn't be afraid to open up), it is like you are trying to say that crying is strength!, it is like saying helplessness is strength! That is a contradiction If someone can't handle things on his/her own , people typically see that as weakness, so alot of men feel that alot of women are sabotaging the word (strength), and attaching it to crying and being helpless, and that is not how we typically see this, the more a person cries and being helpless, that means there is less strength there. For example, some people can beat their problems without talking to other humans , and others need help from other humans, the former is stronger, and I feel alot of women want to make the latter as the thing that shows strength, and since men don't need as much help as women to solve their problems, alot of men feel like they are called weak because they are handling their problems!! But This is the opposite of weakness! Some women(especially some feminists) have an inferiority complex, because they want to be equal to man in everything, but because it is clear women are more vulnerable, then those women try to make it so that vulnerability is strength! So that they don't feel inadequate.
If a woman you're dating is turned off by you crying, just tell her you're turned off by her bleeding. If she says it's natural just start crying and say it's natural, check mate. Edit: Holy cow 6k likes look mom I'm popular
She can't help feeling disgusted by what they perceive as weakness. It doesn't matter what they say. What they FEEL when it happens is all that matters
I cried in front of an ex about how well she treated me compared to past relationships. She responded with open arms and a calm voice, telling me I didn’t need to thank her for how she treated me, and just held me close and let me talk. Fellow men, it’s ok to cry, we’re human too.
My husband cried infront of me not even two month into our relationship. He took me on a spontaneous visit to a retirement home where he had worked during the holidays three weeks ago. The caregivers there had to tell us that all of the old people that he´d taken care of had died during these three weeks. He was 16 and I was 15 at that time. After the visit he thanked me for letting him grief and giving him strengh. I came home that night and knew that this guy was for life.
Beautiful story. I think this is the exact type of crying that women appreciate in men. Men should cry for others. Especially others that they take care of. It's Beautiful.
If he was man enough to take care of the elderly & stand with them against DEATH at 16, he will have no trouble taking care of you in your golden years.
What more natural than poop yet it's disgusting. It's not black and white,play your card well. Know when and to whom you can and can not cry. Being always emotional is never good. It's the bitter truth of the world
Big strong baby boys can cry but crying in times of turmoil and carrying on with life and maintaining your positive outlook is what makes you a man. Crying is an outlet, just dont whine or cry for every little thing. If a woman resents you for crying then that woman never truly loved you which means you dodged a bullet. If you were in a relationship atleast you already fucked her therefore you already took everything she had to offer. She walks away because you cried then she is walking away carrying your bodily fluids and DNA already inside of her. Her value goes down and your value keeps rising. Stay strong Kings
When I was in highschool, I had the worst few months of my life. I wasn't sleeping well at all, my anxiety was getting worse every day, and I was struggling in school. It was awful, and I wasn't talking to anyone about it. I ended up breaking down on the couch, just crying and sobbing like nothing else. And my mother, wonderful woman that she is, just sat down next to me and hugged me until I felt better. I think everyone deserves that kind of person in their life.
I would have loved to have that kind of person in my life on a few occasions. Unfortunately, people can sometimes really be the opposite and make you feel excluded and isolated. But your story is very inspiring, that kind of warmth and trust is really all we need sometimes.
I had an ex who told me she wanted me to be vulnerable with her and I was. During the final fight she told me she wished I was strong enough not to cry and to not dump my emotions on her. I left her never looked back. Found myself a woman who loves when I tell her about how I feel and wants me to feel safe around her and I’ve never been happier. It’s easy to say everything and everyone is trash, but you just have to find the right people who make it all make sense.
If someone I’m dating sees it as a red flag, it tells me to get the fuck out. Showing any vulnerability is a sign of affection, it’s me telling them that “hey I’m being vulnerable, I trust you with my wellbeing because I don’t think that you will hurt me”. If that vulnerability is abused it’s worth the pain to know that she was someone who always would have abused that at some point and it’s better to have known sooner rather than later. It’s a canary in a coal mine for relationships.
If someone sees your vulnerability as a red flag, they automatically show a red flag of being highly toxic. Nobody is interested in these cold, unemotional, non-empathetic female reptilians. It's very healthy to be connected to your emotions and be vulnerable and to be able to cry when needed. There shouldn't ever be a judgment about this from anyone, especially from the person that should be your partner for life. The sick society we live in. So many emotionally disordered people act narcissistically and can't get vulnerable because, for them, it's a sign of weakness. They have personalities that everyone should avoid from miles away.
This is amazing and healthy advice for people. Self acceptance is the first step. If someone doesnt accept that level of vulnerability, then they dont deserve you plain and simple.
My mother-in-law once commented that my husband never cried, so when he cried in front of me the first thing I did was hug him, I understood that he felt so comfortable with me that he allowed himself to be vulnerable, finally married for 7 years
I hope that one day I'll find someone who'll allow me to be vulnerable front of them and create a safe space for me to express my emotions. Thanks for sharing a slice of your life with your husband, it really resonated with me.
My own mother looked at me like I was crazy the last time I cried in front of her, and she always told me crying was okay. So yeah I won't cry in front of a woman.
@@user-ey9yn5yt5q It's not really barricading, some people just don't know how to or want to deal with a grown person crying, I know I can't, I usually just stare at them, I'm not equipped to handle that stuff.
My mum is narcissist, she always told me to grow up and stop being a baby. I now have a girlfriend who comforts me when I cry. There's still good women out there.
dang that's kinda sad. i always thought that boys who grew up in a matriarchal family would be such a good thing for them because it's healthier (since i grew up in one). guess I can't really generalize things
My ex-wife told me to stop being a little girl once because I was unhappy that we were growing more distant. I wasn't crying, but I was upset and wanted a serious adult conversation about it. Can't even begin to start showing emotion. That said, I'm with a girl now that is empathetic and can handle the fact i'm human and can't always be strong. Women aren't a monolithic entity, just don't waste your time on the shit ones.
@@motorwheeler it does, but youll find that the competition is lower too. A lot of guys chase glamorous trash. Not a lot are actually looking for something wholesome. Or they think they are, then they'll date the "bad girls" with just as much blinkers over the red flags as the girls that chase "bad boys".
@@motorwheelergood! Less time and energy wasted on women you don't want to deal with. We men need some standards for once lmao. I for one know one of my standards before I met my amazing girlfriend was that she had to be emotionally stable and willing to be my rock from time to time (I can also be a rock to her from time to time too, although admittedly I am not good at it yet, I am working on my mental health). I know some people might say 'she'll eventually lose interest and leave' but honestly if she does and the reason is because I cry sometimes, then it was never meant to be and I'll be happier without someone incompatible.
When I cried in front of my girlfriend for the first time, she held me and asked what she could do to help. She herself had battled a long history of depression and extreme anxiety so she understands and knows how to help in those situations. While it isn’t the only reason why, it’s kind of apparent why I want to merry this girl eventually.
That is amazing. It really is probably the smartest thing to say is ask "what can I do, that can help you", much less pressure and good for trust building. Much better than asking "why are you crying?" as that could come across as intimidating, maybe they are not ready to talk about it.
I had my first ever panic attack on a second date with the woman I am currently seeing. She helped me through it and I was terrified of scaring her away but she accepted me and has loved me ever harder for it. My PTSD isn’t going to stop me from being the person I was before. Be yourself and don’t be afraid of rejection, the people you want to attract will appreciate you for who you are.
12:35 I love that she just kept going and was steadfast in sharing her thoughts despite her friends laughing/possibly making her feel awkward. Shows that she’s confident in herself and she’s clearly smart.
Tbh I felt like most people were probably genuine but the two people who just felt fake was the woman at 9:27 and the group of girls Even how they worded ts “if a man cries you have to TOLERATE it” I could be misquoting but she used the word tolerate when talking about listening to someone cry. If your loved one is hurting and opens up to you that shouldn’t be something you tolerate - you should be happy they opened up and willing to help them. Also how she said that everyone else got Kanye and some other topic and they were stuck with the male crying one. Their whole vibe just felt weird. Especially the talkative one you’re referring to - she just felt like she’s saying ts for the camera.
I cried in front of my ex and minutes later she went and made fun of me to her friends. I was told this by her friend and immediately was heartbroken. A couple weeks later she went back to her toxic ex she said she “hated”. I’m done being vulnerable.
Why are you done being vulnerable? You were dating a toxic woman. You can cry as much as you need to in front of a healthy woman. Crying is healing and don't worry about the opinions of toxic female reptilians.
Watch she’s going to try come back to you ghost for six months build a relationship with Jesus hit the gym eat healthy groom ur hair and practice semen retention invest and make money and watch what will happen 🙏🏾🔥😊💯
I once knew a couple on my block. When the wife saw her husband cry over something, she'd take him out to his favorite diner tbe next day and order him his favorite meal. What happened to you happened to me as well but being vulnerable isn't a bad thing. Unfortunately, like me, you stumbled upon a toxic individual who hurts more than loves. Go find yourself a woman like the couple I mentioned above, one who understands the true value of being open with emotions, because those are the ones who truly matter.
As a woman myself I'm not gonna lie I would feel out of my depth if a man cried in front of me, but lemme stress that it wouldnt be because I view it as weak/disgusting - bc it isn't, but bc it's a rare thing for me to witness - the amount of times it's happened I can only count on one hand - and so at least for me it's less of a "saying smth i dont actually mean" and more of a "caught off guard and don't know how how they wish to be comforted" thing. I'm not trying to be antagonistic but can u see how it would be difficult for women to know what to do/react "right" when it virtually never happens?
@@moony995No really, I don’t. I’m not trying to be rude, but the guy is crying, not explaining theoretical physics-if you can comfort girls then you can comfort guys.
@@chasewainscott8739 sure i can, I'm just saying it'd be a bit of a shock initially bc im not used to it. I wasn't trying to excuse the women that react cruelly to men crying, sorry if i sounded like that
I’m 24 and I’ve always been an emotional person as I deal with depression, anxiety & PTSD. My girlfriend always told me when we first got together that if I ever needed to vent or talk, to give her a call. This was before we moved in together, we lived in the same state but we were 2 hours away from each other because I was taking care of my grandmother full time who had dementia. A little over a month into our relationship, I called her one night. My grandma had died from dementia and I was very close with her as I helped take care of her till the end. I called her and it got to the point that I couldn’t hold it in anymore and I just let it all out. She stayed on the phone with me for over 2 hours to make sure I was ok and what she told me was when I knew she was the one that I wanted to be with for the rest of my life. “It’s ok to feel the way you feel. I won’t ever make fun of the way you feel because you make emotions just like me. We’re a team and that means helping each other no matter what it is”. At first, I thought she was just saying that to make me feel better but she’s always kept her word as I’ve cried in front of her a couple times after that and she’s always hugged me and let me get it all out when I need to and she does the same with me. We’ve now been together for almost 2 years and I plan proposing to her next year.
I am sorry to hear about your PTSD. Just like you, I too am an emotional person, and a bit crazy (like my name suggests). I am so glad that your sweetheart is sympathetic, kind, and loving to you. She is truly a blessing from God. Here are two bits of my crazy advice I offer to you to enhance your relationship.: (1) TAKE THIS FOR WHAT IT'S WORTH. As men, we are entitled to our emotions; and have the right to express our feelings. What's more, we have known for years that emotional suppression is harmful to men's health. As far as relating to women, here is a special bit of advice. If you are a sensitive, or emotional, man here is how you can keep your woman. PASSIONATELY PERFORM CUNNILINGUS ON HER DAILY (except when she is menstruating). Just watch. She will miraculously find a way to stay with you. Many more women will leave a man who doesn't do cunnilingus (70% of women claim that they would). What's more, 80% of women prefer cunnilingus over intercourse. I believe that the determinant factor is CUNNILINGUS, not CRYING. Please consider what I say. (2)To encourage men to be more open emotionally, and to encourage women to be more compassionate, I encourage couples to try CFNM, which means s "clothed female, nude male". The philosophy behind CFNM is the concept of the "rebalancing of power" in male-female relations. Women, being clothed, means that they are able to feel empowered, confident, and revered. This will make her feel more self-assured, so that she can be more compassionate toward men. And men, being nude, are able to experience being open, vulnerable, and accepted. Hence, men are able to open up and express their feelings more. This helps both men and women because women crave power and men crave acceptance. So both are happy. In addition to this, men. being nude, will make a greater effort to keep their bodies in good shape. With men being nude sex symbols, they will feel more at ease to be open emotionally. And women will appreciate their nude hunks more, accept his vulnerable side, and be more compassionate when he cries.
I was crying in the train one time (I never cry but that time I couldn't resist) I think it was idk 1h of me crying none stop and people looking at me of course. In that period of time a woman asked me if I was alright but then later a man just looked at me and gave me and airpod, I put it in and he played "don't worry be happy" then he gave me a hug and we talked for a bit while he also played "staying alive" it was an act of kindness that made me cry even more but it gave me hope in humanity
@@1987cmli think it’s actually fairly equal but in different ways, guys just have a different way of doing it. for me at least, its easier to be vulnerable with women and they usually are the ones to comfort me when no one else does. but men also have that capacity, a lot of the times its hard for them to approach you first. its kinda funny, its like the opposite of we view both genders cuz it’s usually the women being aggressively empathetic but men can be people you can go to and they’re willing to listen as well
@@Blackraptor1234 that's dumb of you to overgeneralize and even if that is actually the case then it's better to be single than with someone that doesn't respect you for being vulnerable like any other human being
Very true, vulnerability is an investment, not everyone deserves your genuine feelings. As long as you are not constantly venting to her and expecting emotional support 100% of time, if you want to be treated like a person, you got to treat her like you would like to be treated yourself.
i think it's amazing that no ones find incoherent to say "dont cry too early in the relationship, could be a turn off". If a man implied that her girlfriend must always be sexually attractive, he would be called a moron with unrealistic fixations. But ok.
It would be true, he'd be a moron. Expecting someone to always look attractive to you is increadibly moronic. Expecting someone to not show emotions orninvulnerability is also emotionally unhealthy. One does not exclude the other.
@@Sk_-vu6dv yeah, that's an extreme example. I actually went on a date with a girl that cried on the first date once and made me uncomfortable. Never saw her again 😅
When I finally broke down sobbing in the aftermath of our miscarriage, my wife told me she was so relieved to not be alone in it anymore. She has also supported me through the death of my dad. Truly a partner that everyone should strive to have. But I also acknowledge that she isn’t my personal therapist - while I can lean on her for support, she can’t fix all my issues and a recurring mental health problem requires professional help and also a larger support system than one person. A friend circle is important for this reason. Men need to be okay with vulnerability even around “the bros” because your partner can’t carry your troubles all by themselves. It weighs on them too and it’s not fair to expect that from them all the time.
Honestly man it is the norm, all the people outside your door are normal reasonable folks. It’s just that the internet shows us the vids that get the most clicks and reactions, which is obviously the most ridiculous people. The internet be convincing us that other people are insane but really people just be people
@@aidenboomervideo You are right. Like you say, when I was stating 'that isn't the norm', I meant in terms of what you'd find on these types of videos. It made a nice change. I really do despise the internet culture nowadays.
@@aidenboomervideo I noticed this reading the other comments. Many in the video said it was no problem, or just needed a little time and adjustment. It seems irrational to believe anything else than what you've written. Why then, do so many comments seem to make such generalized, absolutist statements? What would you say to someone paranoid about this? I'd ask *them* questions, but I'm sure you know what they'd say.
@@bloodhoundsoldier7445 yeah, so many men are jaded and it’s sad to see. And most of the time it’s from one relationship, or even judging the world based on the internet. Not even being hurt, time after time. It’s real sad.
My dad passed away recently and I’ve cried quite a few times in front of my girlfriend and she has never judged me or thought less of me for it. Feeling those emotions is extremely important for growth and maturity.
"If you need to tolerate tears, thats ok" thats tells me everything i need to know. They dont like when you show how you really feel and if you do it too often.... relationship done.
Don't rob her of the joy and mystery and work that's involved with gaining your trust, respect and slowly teasing things out of you. If you just open like a flood gate it spoils that for her. She wants to feel like she has to earn it each step of the way. Because a high value guy with lots of options and his own life mission to focus on isn't going to spill the beans so easily.
my ex was the sweetest girl. she told me that I don't have to put on appearances in front of her and feel free to be vulnerable. she also told me that a person in a relationship isn't responsible for the happiness of the other person, and it's selfish to expect otherwise. she also told me that I'll never be rid of her because loyalty is everything to her. I thought I found my future wife. I wanted to have a family with her. six months later she broke up with me saying she doesn't have time for our relationship. I spent days trying to talk to her to convince her to stay and she was very dismissive throughout the whole thing. when I told her I though we were happy together, she scoffed and said "you thought I was happy?". when she came over to pack up her things, I broke down in tears and she looked at me in disgust. everything she told me was a lie. that was almost 10 years ago. haven't trusted the word of a woman since.
I feel very sad for you brother, trust me when I say I do But, maybe this whole thing is not as much about your ex being a woman as your ex being an asshole 'cause being an asshole isn't exclusive to women
It's possible she had something bad going on in her life, she probably wasn't disgusted because you cried, but because you didn't comfort her or tried to reasom with her
What happened in those six months? What changed? Did you notice anything? Was all okay with her family? Drastic life and family changes can make a person change a lot. I have had people do that to me. Male friends who never shared anything and just acted normal around me. Later I found out they were going through shit. What put me off is they were emotionally vulnerable and then turned around and basically told me that they would respect me less if I were to accept them wholeheartedly now that I know 'what asshats they are'. I tried comforting them but ended up taking their advice and dropping the friendship. They were they type that couldn't bear to be vulnerable in front of any woman because they were vulnerable in front of the wrong woman once and got torn down very badly. I guess the only thing you can do for such guys is to let them walk with their dignity intact and drop the relationship cuz then they'll never feel comfortable with you again after being so vulnerable. It is weird but they have to work that out themselves I can't help.
Me and my wife were having marital issues. She explained to me I was being distant and how she felt like we needed to try to be closer again. We fought back and forth and we found the problem; three months prior my dog had passed away from cancer. He actually passed away right in my arms. He was my best friend, but more so he felt like a son to me. I finally opened up to her and told her everything that had reminded me of him was still here. I was still grieving. She held me and I cried in her arms. She too had felt the pain of my dog passing. It’s okay to cry in front of a girl as long as she’s understanding. I get it, sometimes as a man you feel like you can’t or feel uncomfortable to even talk about feelings but as I’m learning sometimes it’s best to at least talk about some of them. Currently I’m in therapy. Animal or person grief is grief.
Cried in front of my mom because she said I couldn't see my crush in high school. She told me to "man up" and proceeded to chastise me for my weakness..."this is why women don't like you." Never opened up to her again. Women use your weakness as ammunition in an argument.
@justindefav21edits oh please. this is ridiculous and if you look at any couple and actually get to know the people in that couple, you'll see how dumbfounded this rhetoric is. people say "they only like bad boys", "leaders", or "men who take charge", meanwhile every guy i am friends with who has a girlfriend or is married will call their S/O just to say "hey, what should i get for lunch?" Clearly all of these men I know are actually just complete assholes when I'm not around them, right? Lmao, no, that's stupid. I personally view vulnerability as a perfect filter. If *ANOTHER PERSON* makes me feel comfortable enough to open up about something emotional, to share some kind of vulnerability with them, *that is HUGELY significant to me.* That means I likely view this person as very important/very significant. If someone is DISGUSTED by this, because it's "too early", or gives them some kind of "ick", I immediately know they were never worth any time or emotional investment from me in the first place. Because they don't value what being vulnerable means in the same way that I do.
I cried in front of women 3 times. Even though not every one of them I was romantically interested in the relationship deteriorated after it. They didn't treat me the same way anymore.
Yh happened to me when I was young everyone told to not cry whilst I was getting bullied ok the daily not only that most of the crying was out of anger being "weak " not strong enough to not cry and not strong enough to not be bullied by a guy that's 2 years older than me (I was 6-7) the only reason that it hurt was that not only did they know but that it was my family who thinks I'm a weak cry baby .
I once cried in front od my mom while trying to vent how bad i was feeling recently, she laughed at me and called me pathetic, then started talking about her own problems
I wish you a happy time this summer, I’m so sorry to hear that you’re going through that. Faith in Jesus Christ(if you are Christian) will be your #1 friend. God bless and may the Lord watch over you no matter your religion. Just know you’re special to someone, no matter the situation there will always be someone who cares, you may just have never noticed them. Hope your situation gets better, God bless
As a man, I have a hard time keeping my emotions in check. I cry when I'm happy, I cry when I empathize, I cry when I'm stressed out and sad. I'm just a big ol crybaby. And thankfully I've found a woman that embraces that side of me. It's cliche but I'm a lucky crybaby ig lol
Same, all the same, and after I lost my dad a few years ago I found a therapist that’s absolutely incredible. The way she’s helped me rewire my selftalk, communication, and relationship dynamics has immensely improved every aspect of my life. I’m so damn proud to be an emotionally available and mature person. I encourage everyone to to do the same. We should all feel free to express our emotions, take care of ourselves and each other.
@@GRAYgauss Hey brother, I hope one day you not only find a partner that cherishes your vulnerability but that you come to value that side of yourself as well.
You had me in the first half, but how is crying a strength? Being honest and authentic is considered strong cause it takes courage to do so in a machiavellian society. But crying isint it.
@@halfw1ng courage isn't the only parameter of strength. Not crying when you need to would imply suppressing emotional reaction, beacuse one fears social judgement or rejection. Sometimes being strong means you have the strength, the means and enough reason to not care what everyone else might think. It means self confidence and self sustainability. Being enough for ones ownself.
@TheVeritasHenry "even when alone it's an unearned relief system" I wholeheartedly disagree with you and I'm sorry you feel this way. Maybe you haven't received a lot of compassion from the people in your life so now you think the way to live is to be always in control of yourself. People didn't show you that it was ok to let go sometimes. We're only human. We are meant to fall, make mistakes and feel sad at times. Tears are just a natural reaction to our emotions. Like your Heartbeat speeds, like you produce saliva, your eyes tears up. We need these "relief systems" to be able to heal and move on. Its crazy to me that some people can oppose to a reaction that's so natural and biological. There is no need to put so much meaning into it. Just have a good cry and move on
i grew up with my dad saying “real men don’t cry” and i never saw him cry even though i did all the time when i was alone which really sucked yk? now i have a friend who i can cry in front of and she says it makes me emotionally intelligent to recognize my feelings and she says it’s a normal human behavior. dude she’s my best friend idk what i did to deserve her :,(
I think women will usually say that they want their man to be vulnerable, but their subconscious will usually tell them that they are not safe with a man who cries. That being said, I'm a fan of crying, and think it's a healthy emotional release.
yeah i think emotional men arent trusted as much, even if its a very genuine emotion. its more rare to find truly non judgemental people. lost relationships over it, ive learned to be more selective about who i open up to.
Women like that have a brain that is more animal than human, so I won't even care about their opinion. Their life is guided by their instinct and usually you can easily see that there is not much information inside them. Crying is a human trait and that is what makes it so special, to appreciate it is necessary to develop some emotional intelligence, not everyone can.
@@kkkkkk6570 I just watched a pretty compelling video that explains why that's probably not the case. As women find "sensitive" guys to be more attractive possibly because women are attracted to traits that represent good paternal instincts and being emotionally void is not a sign of a good father. Men, on the other hand, value physical attractiveness (on average) more than other traits, due to physical traits indicating a mate who can carry and birth healthy children. To me, this is why men don't value the "vulnerability" of other men, because to them, physical traits are more important, you can see this in the gym bros that seem to get more and more popular. The studies that backed these claims admitted that gender-based preference studies are always flawed. However, I do think it's fairly accurate in this situation.
It’s disgusting how as a society we internalized this sick belief that men who cry are weak. Like no, nobody who cries is weak, people who cry are literally just being human. If anyone you know reacts with disgust or mocks you when you cry, run the opposite way. They are not your friend and they don’t love you. Better be alone than be around these people.
That’s making excuses for weakness. Real men have complete and total self control, any man who fails and gives in to their emotions is weak and running from people telling you the truth is just cowardice
Respectfully it is not “as a society” it’s in male society, men are the main culprit to pushing toxic masculinity. No need to further explain just look at the first comment. 👆🏼🥱
@@NathanDavis508 we are all run by emotions either consciously or not :) some people are in tuned with their emotions and cry when needed and some people repress feelings and play tough:) which we all know results in poor mental health. people who judge others as weak are predatory and they won't support you so you should just avoid them
@@PadajDeszczu it’s not playing tough, it’s just controlling yourself. There’s nothing predatory about telling people the truth. You can’t suppress emotion, but you can control the effect you let it have on you. And again, people who can’t accept that and make excuses are weak
The video of Andrew crying was one of the best things I've ever seen. I treasure that clip and I'm gonna show it to my kids when they grow up. OTAY OTAY!
My father died in 2023, and my mom, too, a year and month later. I have not been myself for a long while and everytime ive broken down my fiancée is there to hold me. Im truly grateful for her.
God bless your fiance. Also, TAKE THIS FOR WHAT IT'S WORTH. Emotional suppression is unhealthy for men, both emotionally and physically. We have known this for many years. So those who compel men to suppress their emotions are killing men. in the Bible, we read that many men have cried, grieved, or mourned. Even Jesus Christ wept. Therefore, if God's only begotten Son cried, then there is no reason that any other man should feel that crying, showing emotion, or being vulnerable, is weak or unmanly. Anyone who says "Grown men and big boys don't cry", obviously doesn't read the Bible, has never experienced extreme joy, and has never experienced heartbreak or sorrow. As men, we are entitled to our emotions; and have the right to express our feelings. As far as relating to women, here is a special bit of advice. If you are a sensitive, or emotional, man here is how you can keep your woman. PASSIONATELY PERFORM CUNNILINGUS ON HER DAILY (except when she is menstruating). Just watch. She will miraculously find a way to stay with you. Many more women will leave a man who doesn't do cunnilingus (70% of women claim that they would). What's more, 80% of women prefer cunnilingus over intercourse. I believe that the determinant factor is CUNNILINGUS, not CRYING. Please consider what I say.
If my tears are an expression of truth and the woman I'm with is turned off by them, that's a good thing. Clearly we're incompatible if she's turned off by my true emotion, so it's best we learn this ASAP and part ways. Hiding who you are in the hopes that someone finds you attractive is about as emotionally empty as life gets.
Agreed! I'm not holding in tears to avoid coming across as weak. Sooner or later you will fail to hide your true self, and it will be lot more painful if it turns out your partner doesn't support who you actually are. Don't put on a façade, it's not worth it.
I’ve never cried in front of a woman aside from my mom. The two relationships I’ve been in, both women weaponized the death of my father, my depression, or other personal things that I told them in confidence. I know not all women are like this and men do this crap too. The crazy thing is both of the women in those relationships, assured me and encouraged me to be more vulnerable and open. Honestly those experiences have made me almost the complete opposite. You have to be very good at reading people and vet them before just letting anyone into your life, it’s common sense but sometimes we forget how cruel people can be and we tend to let down our guard because it becomes tiresome and impossible to connect with anyone.
I hate stigma on crying and showing emotions. I was trying so hard not to cry on my mom's funeral when I was 16 while I had every reason in the world to burst in tears. That was the moment I realized that crying in front of someboddy takes a courage. Unfortunately I'm still not confident enough to cry when I feel like it.
I felt so special even my baby cried about 2 months into our relationship I saw he was hiding it on call but I comforted him he’s cried 3 times in the year and disgust never crossed my mind.
My wife was somewhat uncomfortable with me crying in front of her at first, but it just took her time to get over her own stuff. Because women are socialized to view men a certain way just like we were socialized to view women a certain way. It didn't take long for her to appreciate my vulnerability. It certainly has made us extremely close and supportive of each other.
I like this comment. Don't let others tell you that she's being fake. You're right. Most of the time if people judge you for your mistakes and your vulnerability it's likely that they are suffering from some kind of insecurity or vulnerability of their own that they haven't overcome. It's also sad to see that these better comments get less likes and attention compared to the ones that's a lot more overgeneralizing...
This is one of the only realistic comments I have seen here. It can be tough for women to figure out how to be there for you, but most will at least try.
@@FirstNameLastName-lu5nrit really isn't. There's nature and there's nurture and he completely ignored one of those. Yes it's partly socialization but men and women are also wired differently from birth. We think differently. Women are more in tune with their emotion and so mostly they will not find someone who is also emotional, to be attractive. Even in a homosexual relationship, one person usually displays more masculine traits. Half of what some of these women say in the video isn't what they will feel in the moment. Plus these are college students
If you think emotions are optional as a man, but you also want to experience a 'meaningful' life... take a second to ask yourself how you plan to actually FEEL that meaning in your life. One of my biggest 'ah ha' moments was learning you can't selectively dampen the feelings you don't like while keeping the ones you do. An intellectualized life might look good on paper, but it feels as empty as it is. Keep on feeling my boizzzz
The sweet spot for men is learning to feel the full range of emotions without dampening them, while using stoic discipline to not allow emotions to control our behavior, because emotional decisions and actions are almost never good ones, and often dangerous and self destructive. I believe men actually feel our emotions more intensely than women, which is why it is so important for men to be disciplined in our behavior. We are naturally capable of doing more damage when not in control of our emotions. It is better for men to bring our issues to our closest male friends or a well vetted therapist, and very rarely to your wife, not girlfriend or fiancé (and only then if she is a certain type of woman, which unfortunately is a very small portion of the female population, and it should be kept to very specific situations like grief or other kinds of major loss). Most women will only hold it against you in the future, usually in an argument, and on top of that, they are almost guaranteed to tell their girlfriends. I agree that emotions definitely aren’t optional as men. It’s just that there is an evolutionary/survival/biological reason why women are naturally repulsed by men who cry. Modern society has conditioned women to think it’s ok for men to cry and be vulnerable, which is a good and noble goal. It’s just that it goes against biology and that is why the women who do stick by their men who cry and are vulnerable are the exception, not the rule, and exceptions don’t disprove the rule. So it’s true “not all” women do it. But its better to operate on probability, not possibility, if a man wants the best possible outcomes in life. It is possible to find one of those women, just not probable, unfortunately.
You gotta know how to balance your emotions and deal with them and sometimes, it is just better to bottle them up. Sorry but emotionally led men is up to no good...
@@filipradojcic1865 It wreaks havoc on your nervous system and relationships to 'bottle them up' and leads to all types of maladaptive behaviors from those who do it. Being able to process your emotions and speak from them (when appropriate) doesn't mean you are being dragged around by your emotions into unhealthy or unkind actions. It means you know how to move a feeling through your body and speak up for them when needed.
@@sirlongschlong I'd argue the opposite based on my experience and the information I've seen at large regarding culture and biology and men's emotions and how others respond to them. Society has been the one to program most people to be repulsed by a man showing emotions (besides anger, which is allowed and even celebrated at times ). The book "For the Love of Men" does a great job debunking some of the things our society assumes are 'biological' when it comes to men and emotions.
I was like this for a bit mostly because I had to be.. but when people around me were allowed to have emotional outburst but mine were discouraged when I was like yep im gonna live how I want because most other people are as well.
i cried in front of my girlfriend at the time. this was after she told me she doesn’t see us lasting forever. we had been together for like 6 months. it hurt because i loved her and only saw myself with her. so after we had a deep conversation about our relationship and she said that, i started crying, not hysterically though but a few tears started flowing down. she hugged me and put my face to her chest. idk how she felt about that moment, personally i was embarrassed but i have lots of respect for how she handled that situation and felt better in the moment and still now about it because of that.
I broke down in tears in front of my ex of nearly 5yrs, she didn't comfort me in any way, she just said "I don't know what to do" then she walked out of the room. I tried to OD as I was at rock bottom, she then found out about it and I said I can tell her why and she said she didn't want to know, she was very cold towards me over something I couldn't control. Lost my money on the engagement ring aswell. Not long ago, I was getting to know a girl and she said she wants to know everything about me, even the dark and bad. I gave her some simplified things after being pushed for it. She completely changed towards me. I don't ever want to open up and be vulnerable to a girl again. The funny thing is, both pushed to know what was wrong until I gave in and gave them what they wanted, however, it really wasn't what they wanted subconsciously. Just to clarify, I haven't done or said anything bad, it was to do with things that were done to me and out of my control as I was only a kid.
sorry that happened. it could be that the type of women you are going for are ones who are not emotionally equiped or nurturing. But don't give up, not all women are cold like that. Also, I've learned you do have to be a little careful about how much you open up in the beginning of a relationship because sometimes the people who push real hard in the beginning for you to open up are actually the ones who you probably shouldn't. The one's who are actually cool to open up to won't force intimacy on you. They will just let the vulnerability between you develop naturally at its own pace.
"Not too early in a relationship, it might be a turn off." It's ok, we don't all sexualise you. Some of us actually think of you as human beings too. Being genuine comes first.
I've noticed in my own experience that there's a strong disconnect between what a woman will say she wants in a man, and the men that they actually choose to date.. that's all I can say from my experiences..
Once cried in front of my ex whom I was in a relationship for almost 2 years. She told me it was okay to cry in front of her multiple times in the relationship and that she wanted to be there for me if I ever did. One day after work I had an anxiety induced mental breakdown at home and facetimed her as a sobbing broken mess in hopes of having her help me calm down and be an anchor for me like I had been doing every time she had panic attacks. Instead she didn't take it seriously and kept me on call in the living room where she and her parents were just watching TV - I ended up having to take a week and a half off of work just to be able to function again - no thanks to her as she was gone on a trip for 2 weeks. She broke up with me 2 months later out of the blue and over text. If it weren't for my mom and her (my mom's) side of the family I probably wouldn't've been here typing this.
Cant remember the author but she was at a book signing for one of her books and the topic of men crying and the like came up and one guy who is getting some books signed for his wife and daughters drops what is probably the hardest quote ive ever heard and it genuinely gave me pause "They would rather see me die on my white horse than fall." That shit lives with me to this day. As a side note i have never in my life been cut down more in my life than by women I've shared vulnerabilities with. Not once has any man who has known something truly cutting and turned it on me in the heat of the moment.
Exactly, women are coniving and devious. They enjoy attacking men because they know they can never be at their level. Be careful of devious women looking to tear you down based on some weakness you've revealed.
Men hurt other men in a much more honest and straightforward way, typically through physical violence. It's why I really love wild animals, there is a certain unspoken agreement that if we invade each others space that it can and will get violent. Women are far more prone to (not so) subtle manipulations.
The book is called "Men, Women, and Worthiness" (by Brené Brown). It goes into some of the reasons why many women can't handle it when men cry despite telling men to open up and be vulnerable in front of them. I know "this book changed my life" is such a cliché, but really, this book DID change my life, how I saw and treated others, and how I treated myself.
One needs to be wary of the fact that what women SAY infront of an audience and on camera - is totally different to what they actually think as an individual and amongst their friends.
Thank you for this video, I really needed this tbh. Every single person I’ve ever showed emotion in front of left shortly there after. From grief to hard times to so much loneliness it didn’t really matter the lesson was the same, if you cry you’re baggage and I don’t wanna help or talk to you. It’s just a kicker from all the people I’ve seen cry and not judged or tried to help. Whether it be the grief they experience, to talking people down from suicide and self harm as best I can, to every relationship and family issue they have, Ive always tried to understand and offer solutions and help. After a while you wonder if you’ll ever even get a sliver of the treatment. It won’t stop me from trying to keep being a good guy though, that’s honestly what makes me happy. There’s something about being a giver who never receives that’s actually kinda nice in its own regard. it helps you form a true view on yourself despite what others tell and think about you. As long as you yourself at the end of the day know you’re doing good and spreading kindness, then it’s easier to be content in life. This video showed me that the world out there and people my age aren’t all as toxic and unforgiving as the ones I’ve met. Honestly made me so happy knowing there’s dudes and chicks still out there that can be understanding!
You take the wrong conclusion from this. Those who left, revealed their true reason for being there, and that is to have some unemotional guard dog and rock they can lean on, that will solve all their problems. They never really wanted a relationship, just a primitive exchange of darwinism.
I know he is half joking with the "disliking vunerable men is hardwired in our brain" but I really do wonder how many of these people (men and women) were being honest. Both to themselves and us. I can only speak for myself but I often feel split in two. On one side what I feel deep down, on the other how it should be for us all to be happy
It's never going to be as it "should" be. Some women won't mind you crying but if I had to guess, most women would be turned off if you cried in front of them. I mean if someone you loved dies, they would probably understand, but I think the issue is how often are you crying and how intense are the triggers.
As long as you are: strong confident, secure in yourself, healthy and constantly striving for more - crying once in a while doesn't matter. They don't want you to cry as it's a sign you're not masculine, be masculine in yourself and they won't need to look for pathetic signs to judge you. I cried in my relationship early on, and it made my girl love me more. Till this day she's says I'm the most masculine person she's dated, not because I have an insecure chip on my shoulder, but because I accept what I am, I stare into the abyss of my shadow self, and I try to make myself better. If she thought me crying was a turn off, she wouldn't even be good enough for me.
@@stillnotchill2560 that's the problem, I think that part deep down that's disliking us men showing weakness is keeping me from showing these emotions at all and can feel that it's really not healthy. I know they are there but they are bottled up like for many of us. I know it'd be perfectly fine to show them, but for some reason I can't even let them out being alone. I wonder if it's because it's hardwired or if there is just genuinely something wrong with me, if I'm projecting disliking myself onto other men or something
@@athmaid that's called emotional suppression my guy, therapists usually try to poke at sensitive thoughts until you can let out and feel the thoughts you've been suppressing.
I'm a 26 year old male, and I've always been an "Easy crier" and a more emotional person, but I started holding my feelings in and held in feelings of a lot of trauma over a span of like 8 years. I finally recently have started opening up to some people in my life about it, and have done a lot of crying and reflecting. I think it's definitely important as a man to be able to be vulnerable, because it shows a level of emotional intelligence. People who truly hold everything in for the sake of looking "manly" end up damaged emotionally. I will say in the aspect of women/potential partners either weaponizing it, or being bothered by it, if they are, that's a red flag. I recently went through something with a girl, who I thought truly cared about me, but proved otherwise. And I didn't cry in front of her, but I did sit down and have a long talk with her about my feelings and even though she was "supportive" to my face, she ended up just ghosting me shortly after. So my first experience of being vulnerable with a potential partner, went pretty poorly.
i can understand u soo much! also 26 and i cried to my ex about 2 years ago. she was amazed because no one ever cried for her, thats what she said. but in the end it also didnt work out but there were other reasons too. but yeah its a crazy game.
@@bilsid I am slowly learning it over time. It’s hard to see things clearly when you are under intense emotional distress. I was in denial and making excuses for the way she treated me for like almost 2 months. Completely beat myself up for it, blamed myself, wondered why I wasn’t good enough. I FINALLY feel like I’m somewhat moving forward. I still do care about her/wish her well. But unfortunately I was a 2nd choice. And she lied to me and said she wanted to still be a part of each others lives, and then over the span of a couple weeks she just distanced herself until it became 0 communication. I think it’s gonna take me awhile to be okay with opening up/making myself vulnerable to another woman. This hurt much worse than other times.
@@bilsid yeah I mean there will always be “conditions” but that doesn’t mean you should go into every new situation with a person expecting the worse. That sounds like you would struggle to actually be your true self. If you have to hide anything from someone, they don’t belong. You shouldn’t have to be anything but yourself in front of people who genuinely care about you.
I had a fiancé who passed away. Half a year later I started dating a girl. About 4 months into the relationship she asked about my fiancé, what was she like, etc. Talking about her made me sad and I started crying. Not blubbering but tears were falling down my face. She was completely repulsed. I’ll never cry in front of a girl ever again
Women ain't the problem. It's the type of women that you meet that can be a problem or not. So to say "I'll cry infront of a girl ever again" is a bit short-sighted. Just keep your head up and trust me. You will find a girl who you are comfortable crying in front of. Trust.
Cried openly twice in front of my wife in 15 years. In previous relationships, a few times. It’s good to be in touch with yourself emotionally, but passive stoicism during moments when you might cry has a material affect on a woman’s respect toward you. I’ve seen women respond with disgust and venom over stuff like this, especially when I was these peoples’ age. I have a tough buying what any of these women are saying, because experience, and observation of many other relationships, has taught me otherwise.
Yeah man it’s crazy. I’ve never met a woman that said it’s not okay to cry. But every one I’ve ever cried in front of, either was disgusted. Turned off and didn’t like me the same. Or worst case, laughed in my face and insulted me. Now I know it’s not all women. I haven’t given up or anything, I am who I am. BUT every guy I’ve ever cried in front of, gay or straight was super supportive and just like “naw bro it’s all good, you got this” and small things like that help. I’m solid after that. It’s crazy that all the women had to do was just say “it’s alright, you got this” and I would have been able to get myself back together.
Remember that they are being filmed and interviewed. They arent going to be candid. He should do this same interview on a weekend night when everyone on campus is tipsy and speaking drunk truthfully.
@@radias2589 lmao welp, just goes to show Anecdotal evidence is only ever half right, it sucks that the guys around don’t help as much man We need to bring each other up more like women seem to do for each other
@@antonybraus325 I'd like to point out that both genders can be terrible to each other. Ever work in an office where you're the only guy? Toxic as hell, I would never do that again lol.
My experience is, women say they want a man to be vulnerable but only to the limit in which they are comfortable with it. I've cried in front of my mom and an ex. Both were earth shattering moments for me, and I remember both instances they didnt know what to do or how to comfort me at all, i was comforted from afar like i was a leper or something. I think when a man cries in front of a women depending on the context, it freaks them out, it triggers a fear response. The worst thing a guy can do to a woman is make them uncomfortable, and showing too much emotion or crying is the quickest way to do that. I dont like to generalize and it goes without saying there are women who are ok with crying and emotion, but I beleive like this video says its intrinsic and can't be helped by some.
There is some truth to it for sure. Things are changing. But some girls really do feel insecure and uncomfortable around a man crying, it is almost like if they think that man who is crying is also angry and could be dangerous, or maybe even intoxicated. I dont know there is this stupid association with when men are showing genuine emotions, they must be drunk and potentially act violently. Anyhow it is irony that as a guy you only cry around girl you trust, and the fact that you cry makes her not trust you anymore. It is ridiculous.
I say is the minority of women who are ok with men crying. Most of them react with shock, fear and in some cases they feel disgusted if is their BF/Husband.
Oh no, feeling slightly uncomfortable is the worst thing they experience? Boo fucking hoo. There are men who fight and die in third world shitholes and are forgotten. There are men who haven't had a single positive relationship with a human being in their lives. Men commit suicide more than women do. Face it, women are the problem, and the only way to fix it is to give them consequences for their actions and to get them to admit their wrongdoings in society.
I think it's definitely a learned reaction. Girls learn alongside their boy siblings, friends, classmates, and even by observing strangers that a boy that is crying is often met with negativity and disapproval from his parents or other adults. So I can imagine that the discomfort these women have with a man showing vulnerability is due to feeling like that's the only normal response, and because they haven't had many male figures in their lives show them that crying isn't something to be frowned upon. I actually think about this a lot when I think of my entire family because everyone treats crying like it's something that should be kept secret, no matter their gender. But it's much more prevalent with the boys and men.
Poor wording. You say "a man doing to a woman..." It's more about what the women does to the man. She loses all respect and treats them like garbage if a drop of water sneaks out.
I’m 26 yo and recently went through a major breakup for this exact reason, some women will leave you for showing any type of vulnerability, because according to them it shows that you’re a weak individual, that they can’t count on, no matter how good, loving and caring you’ve been to them, the simple fact that you’re an emotional person or an easy crier for some girls out there can and will be a turn off and a deal breaker, which is extremely sad.
I cried in front of a woman i hold near and dear to me, it only strengthened our bond and I feel a relationship blossoming between us. theres people out there that are awful and treat others like dirt. but there are so many others that are just. beautiful on the inside. a heart of gold
I cried out of frustration and pain because of her lacking loyalty, reciprocation, and just expressing my feelings/concerns. She said, “stop with the water works, ur literally manipulating me right now”…. 😬🏃🏻♂️🚩
Had something similar happen to me. I like to talk things out and understand people, fix things yknow? A girl called me a manipulative narcissist. I was "manipulative" because I would mention things that she did that hurt my feelings. I was "narcissistic" because I would only talk about myself when communicating these feelings I had. She would always decide to shut down when we were "fighting". I put fighting in quotes because I was careful never to raise my voice or place unneeded blame on her because she was with other abusive partners in the past. It was hard to get her to talk about her feelings/problems even though I was essentially begging her to so we could fix things. Instead I found out she instead talked in length about how much of a piece of shit I was, she would straight up lie about things I did and what my intentions were like I didn't explain to her in depth what I was thinking and how I was feeling. It makes me wonder how exactly her past relationships were "abusive", honestly. That relationship drove me pretty crazy and made me think pretty dark, but I'm better now. Sorry to trauma dump, but I'm saying this to let people know that there ARE better people out there who will look at you the same way you look at them: like the sun shines out their ass. The stuff I mentioned above is NOT normal and should not be accepted or brushed aside with the idea that "that's just how women (or anyone for that matter) is".
I cried in front of my ex (in the beginning of the relationship). We were in a make or break spot but I was holding in a lot of emotions about a friend I had lost months prior. She got me to open up and I broke like a damn baby. It actually made our relationship last pretty long bc I felt comfort in her and could open up to her after that. I’m not afraid to cry in front of someone as long as that person doesn’t judge me being a man who cries.
Are you guys still together? In my experience, women will use it against you when a breakup occurs. I've never known it not to happen, and its something guys should consider when they need to open up. Better to open up to a fellow guy than a woman on stuff like that. Women like to think they're soft and cuddly, and that they can envelope us in a blanket of emotional understanding. I've not found that to be the case. Women in general seem to be pretty ignorant of how we men are built, and they just seem to shift with the sands in their opinions of things. One minute its this way, the next its that way. I'm glad it worked for you, though it sounds like you found one of the few that didn't mind it in the moment.
I swear if I’m ever in a group of women whom when 1 mocks their man for crying about something At first I would be like “oh well I cried for the same reason” and if they say “oh i feel sorry for you” blah blah blah and I’ll be like “no why do u feel sorry for me and not for your man?” He’s crying because he needed you and you’re his partner and his support system that he has. What else are you to him? Pretty much that’s the only comeback I could come up with haha but I will use any comeback Men are allowed to cry!❤️It’s a human thing not a sign of weakness, Not gonna lie as an autistic woman I cry a lot and have been called weak before. I feel like I can’t cry in front of anyone these days society is just too judgemental :(
I remember one time in high school, after school i was waiting to get picked up and i was crying cause i had my heart broken. The girls lax team was waiting outside the stadium to start practice and one of them came over to me and hugged me and sat with me until their coach got there. It honestly might be the nicest thing anyones ever done for me. But it happened after I tried to play cool in front of one of the other girls on the team that saw I was upset, even though the other girl was also nice about it. Even though women and girls have usually let me be vulnerable i still dont like when anyone sees me crying, men or women
Yes. They say these things out in public but are completely different creatures behind closed doors. They can cry each and every day but cry in front of her just once. She'll never look at you the same way again.
@@MH-zo4uiThere's no research papers on the subject buddy. Or most things in life. You gotta infer from life experiences how MOST stuff and people work. That's how.
I've cried in front of an ex. She viewed me as her rock and seeing that I'm not stoic definitely changed her feelings for me. I'm guessing that some women want to feel protected and if a guy cries then maybe he would cry in a stressful situation and not be able to provide the protection she wants. Just a thought.
Sorry I can't defend you in your hypothetical mental illness box lmao, this shit is the dumbest rationale ever, how many times have you had to "defend your woman's honor" like it was a fairy tale? Like men can't be vulnerable EVER because women just make up these defence scenarios in their head? Fuck that dude
@@Mikael-jt1hkyou’re gonna be in a long term relationship one day and you will have done a ton for your significant other. Then life will hit you like a ton of bricks and you’ll break down at some point. If she leaves you for that, will you still feel the same way about crying or being emotional?
This genuinely helps me feel more comfortable with expressing myself. Although I know that it’s a lot more excepted in today’s time for men to be vulnerable, it’s always refreshing to be reminded it’s okay. I still feel like subconsciously I am scared to break down in front of people close to me
Sobbed at my wedding and at the birth of my children. Hardly ever cried in my life before those moments. Expecting another baby girl in a couple weeks and I feel the tears just thinking about seeing her for the first time.
All of those people were young and likely haven't yet experienced some of the harder spots in life like the joyful frustrations (and occasional heart-wrenching anxiety) of having kids or the death of a loved one. When those things happen, the tears they shed will soften them in ways they won't understand until then. There's soul-cleansing strength in crying like that.
Having kids is tears of beauty, it's a little different when you shed tears from the miracle of Life or God or the beauty of this Universe, compared to crying because you had an unfair day at work. The first is not crying, it is shedding tears. You feel different emotions and do different physical actions than when crying out of sadness.
As a 24 yr old myself. All I know is that I barely know anything, I wish more people my age repeated this mantra. None of us have anything figured out yet.
I can practically cry on command when I think too much about a few deaths that have happend in my family and because of my dogs passing. I am married but still choose to cry alone. When I do cry all I want to do is be alone, I don’t want to be consoled or comforted, I am mentally stable enough to cry and then get back to this thing called life. I have cried a few times in front of her but never for long, she tries to comfort me best she can but like I said, I’m a lonely crier and that’s how I want it
TAKE THIS FOR WHAT IT'S WORTH. Emotional suppression is unhealthy for men, both emotionally and physically. We have known this for many years. So those who compel men to suppress their emotions are killing men. in the Bible, we read that many men have cried, grieved, or mourned. Even Jesus Christ wept. Therefore, if God's only begotten Son cried, then there is no reason that any other man should feel that crying, showing emotion, or being vulnerable, is weak or unmanly. Anyone who says "Grown men and big boys don't cry", obviously doesn't read the Bible, has never experienced extreme joy, and has never experienced heartbreak or sorrow. As men, we are entitled to our emotions; and have the right to express our feelings. As far as relating to women, here is a special bit of advice. If you are a sensitive, or emotional, man here is how you can keep your woman. PASSIONATELY PERFORM CUNNILINGUS ON HER DAILY (except when she is menstruating). Just watch. She will miraculously find a way to stay with you. Many more women will leave a man who doesn't do cunnilingus (70% of women claim that they would). What's more, 80% of women prefer cunnilingus over intercourse. I believe that the determinant factor is CUNNILINGUS, not CRYING. Please consider what I say.
I cried infront of a friend, who told me about her tough past... she never opened up again. Cause she felt, I was handling her past way too hard. She felt she needed to protect me after that... which I felt was way too judgemental. I feel confused about it... I still cry whenever I want, but fair to say we are no longer friends.
It was judgmental of her to want to protect you from her issues which disturbed you? Is it even a gender thing? Most of us would be cautious if someone cried listening to our issues....its not a regular occurrence from any gender. We'd naturally want to not literally pain them further.
@@ddawg3230 Ok but the thing is. I am a big empath. I do not need protecting... it is me expressing sadness over the situation. I do not need protecting, I can handle it... just would feel wrong to pretend like it does not impact me? Whenever I was little and my sister cried, I cry with her... cause I just can not, not cry and feel same emotions that other person is feeling. I guess if people feel bad about it, I should start hiding my emotions from full extent and pretend Im good. If that makes the other person feel better... Im willing to do so. And maybe I am weird. When I tell someone something sad about myself and they cry... I feel like they care. Cause me opening up to a person, would mean I trust the person enough to handle it. I feel like it needs mutual trust and understanding. But to give cold shoulder... that means the person has lost the trust. Thats how I felt... she did not trust me anymore.
@@ShanobyKin well then you are definitely unique. It's not really anyone's fault if they hesitate to share with you. You are mistaken if you think no one is feeling empathetic when they don't cry, or that everyone is 'botting up' and being inauthentic every time they manage to not cry during a stressful situation. When someone cries, most empathetic people are thinking, 'what can I do for this person to ease their distress' ...not 'what can I do now to ease my distress that I feel because of them' (pretty much). Beyond a point, crying for each and every situation of stress will only indicate some sort of emotional disregulation. And it's normal for a human to feel protective when another human is literally crying. There are many moments where humans are required to give an assurance of strength, security and support during very challenging times. The best people I think of who do this regularly are nurses in hospitals, who deal with all kinds of patients with a steady and reassuring demeanour. No one thinks they are uncaring because they don't cry with the patient every day. They feel cared for when they work for them and say encouraging things. This doesn't mean the nurses never cry, they do cry and share grief when there is nothing they can do for the patient. It's just that the situations when you can cry along with someone are very specific. At other times, what they need from you is a bunch of other things which they don't get if you make yourself the first priority.
@nobody-special000 Nah, it was the crying. She's from an emotionally underdeveloped family with undiagnosed autism and serious buried mental health issues.... She was raised on brutal stoicism. Meanwhile, my family is majority ADHD and extremely passionate and emotional... She couldn't process that level of emotional demonstration.
I think it probably depends on what he’s crying about and how he’s crying. Shedding a single tear over a death in the family or something, vs sobbing because his gf won’t hang out with him on a Tuesday night.
Go to www.buyraycon.com/LAHWF for 20% OFF ❤
Raycons made my ears fall off
where's the reddit post Andrew
@@letterstoalice it got removed I can’t find it
@@LAHWF thanks anyway
Congrats on the deal Andrew!
I cried in front of my ex. She responded in disgust lol. At the beginning of the relationship she said "I don't understand why men feel like they can't be emotional in front of women." Haven't cried in front of a woman since
Faaaacts. Crying in front of women will turn them off. It's biological and they see it as weakness. As much as they say they like a vulnerable man, they will then use you as a puppet because they see you're emotional.
Depends on what you cry for. As always they don't know what they want.
@@eduantech That's what it comes down to lol. Men whine so much because they want everything in black and white and women want fun and excitement. Us men, have to start manning the fuck up. This is a general question video. No chick is gonna be upset with you crying infront of her if you just lost someone in a house fire etc...
@@eduantech nigga women cry over having an item out of stock. So it shouldn’t matter what you cry over.
Glad she’s your ex. Cry when you want, bro. You’re human. No shame.
I cried in front of my gf once. She got mad, not because I was crying, but because I apologized for it. She started bear hugging me and wouldn’t let me go until I admitted that there’s nothing wrong with crying. That’s when I knew she was a keeper.
W
@@JamesSmith-ix5jd Ah yes, how DARE my gf validate my feelings and comfort me? 🙄
You got a good one bro cherish her I wish I had something like you but it was the total opposite for me
Never knew that the Emperor of Mankind had a gf. Is she an Eldar tho?
@@jyggalag_I don’t mingle with Xenos.
Cried in front of my girlfriend one time. She responded by giving me a hug and talked through it with me until i felt better. She's cried in front of me many times as well. That was a while ago. She's my fiance now. We'll be married in 105 days.
I cried infront of my ex and she hugged me but then she cheated on me in a threesome the same week.
bro found a gem, congrats 🙏
That's beautiful. I hope you both live a happy and healthy life together.
Pretty weak ngl
God bless you both
The first time I cried in front of my girlfriend, I was at the lowest point I’ve ever been in my life. Was living away from home, felt completely isolated and alone; and she was leaving that day to go back to our hometown. She proceeded to cancel her trip back, stay with me a full extra day and honestly it saved me. She’s the best.
W girlfriend
She’s not real
@@xiv69 She's realer than your dad
Marry her bro
Get a house,kids,dogs
The works
sorry dude, that sounds like emotional manipulation to me
To my fellow men, my brothers in arms: why would you date a woman that won’t let you cry infront of them?
Because men and women are not the same.
Compromise not every man will be fortunate enough to have a woman that will be okay with it, there simply isn't enough of them to go around. Population would nose dive.
@Jay-qu2bc genuine question, what does that have to do with anything? Yes, men and women have physical differences but at the end of the day we're both just people.
@@dingocheez766no. Women and men are fundamentally different. Same as cultures, religions, nations. To think that after all we are all same is arogance.
I personally see crying as a waste of time so it wouldn't bother me. (Just to clarify I don't judge guys for crying, it's just not my thing)
Cried in front of my ex, I had lost my father a few months ago and was scared to lose her too. She said in response to my crying if I was acting. That snapped me out of it and I went cold. That really hurt. Definitely only cry in front of the right girl and if it’s necessary to express your feelings. Otherwise do it in your own private and safe space.
Man sorry for your loss and that shitty experience.
Thats such a disgustingly unhealthy habit though lmao. "Just bottle it up"
If you dont feel comfortable expressing those feelings with your partner, you should talk to them about it. If they scoff at you, kick them to the curb cuz they don't care about your well being.
Cry only with the homies
damn man hope u better
Maybe she asked you if you were acting because there had been months since your father's death, that she found it weird you didn't show emotions before?
My boss told me how she is trying to raise her son to express his emotions, unlike her brother who is more stoic. She also told me how unattractive it is when her husdband cries. I often see that women will say that want men to be emotional, but in reality they have a visceral reaction to seeing a man they like cry.
Yikes hope your bosses husband is okay
Too many simpletons
Damn
Yeah women don't know wtf they want 90% of the time
And they wonder why young men can't get laid anymore
I've seen my dad cry only once out of happiness. It happened because his parents were happy and proud of us, their grandchildren.
He's the manliest man I've ever met. I love him so much.
Glad you have a great relationship with your pops bro. Continue to cherish it. Most men don't have that luxury including me.
@@mothegoat6865 oh, i do cherish it:) thanks for the comment❤
Every time I see him I tell him I love him(I'm an open and affectionate person)
@@nightshadow24 It’s ok for good things, like happy times. Otherwise you need to control it.
I cried in front of my sister (who's 15 years older) for the first time ever. Afterwards she told my mum I was too weak..
Go to a friend
Lol
Never cry in front of women. It's the best way to lose respect other than outright saying you're a pansy.
Crying after you spilled your bowl of Cheerios is weak
@@matthewp5472 Nah it was after your mother told me she was pregnant with you
i cried in front of my girl, i was emotionally vulnerable in front of her within a few months of dating. we are now 3+ years strong. dont lose hope fellas
Same here but 2+ years here. Vouching rn. Fellas out there, keep going, don’t lose hope.
nah fuck all that
The countdown has begun. Good luck.
2+ years here/Long distance and Can vouch too
Just means she is not a femenine women. Not neceserarely a bad thing, might be confusing it with openness in a relationship.
"Of course men should be vulnerable! If you're not vulnerable, how can we hurt you?" 🙂
Exactly!
Use* might hurt you but the intention is usage not harm
@@blanco7726 Bull💩
@@electric0618 you're just collateral my dude go gym
This some incel shit right here
As a man, it takes something incredibly serious, like a death in the family or a really bad breakup for me to cry. Otherwise, no matter how hard I try, I'm physically incapable of crying. This is not me trying to appear level-headed or stoic. This is just how the large majority of men were raised. I have to be at my literal emotional breaking point. My point is, 9 times out of 10, if a man cries in front of you, it's not because he is weak but because he has been strong for too long.
Exactly!
Me too dude, it's horrible. I wish I could cry but I can't
Yeah I'm 29 years and the last time I cried I was probably like 11 or 12. I just physically can't do it.
I once cried about movie of a boy in Japan that saw his little sister(the last person who survived of his family due to WW2 atomic bomb attack ) dies slowly from illness and starvation
I'm 23 now and shed a few tears again when I saw it again
Just wondering if that is reasonable
I actually have the same problem. I might tear up a bit in something sad , but for my body to release a full on cry it should be something real bad. Otherwise I feel like I am forcing it
My brother was holding a speech at his wedding and poured out some words because our mom was depressed since our grandma died 4 days before the wedding. she didnt attend the wedding until then and just when my brother was about to finish his speech my mom was entering the hall in front a quiet crowd of people and my brother couldnt hold back his tears because she managed to get herself together and attend to the most important day of her firstborn child. Almost everyone in the hall could hold back because it was pretty emotional. When I saw that his now-wife cried aswell like a baby and hugged them both dearly - mom and my brother - I realized that a woman that truly loves you will never see you as less or unworthy when you cry infront of her... But! you should ofc not be a whiny sausage either (its a sign of immaturity)
Probably the best story i’ve read in awhile bro
Of course it depends on the situation
You ruined your point at the end bro.
@@TheKillaShowthat’s not contradicting at all. Being able to open up and show emotions =/= throwing a tantrum every time something doesn’t go your way.
Most women will give an answer to make themselves look virtuous in a group scenario. Their real answer will be something different
Example: how many times have you heard a woman say that they can't stand a man that your particular social group knows of...only to find out a while later that she's slept with him.
I’m a woman who grew up in a household with men who weren’t afraid to open up and talk about their emotions and cry. So I’ve always felt kind of disconnected from the idea that men shouldn’t cry ‘cause that’s not how I was raised. My father never told my brothers to “man up” whenever they cried, and as an adult, I’m starting to realize how incredibly beneficial that was to not only my brothers, but myself as well. I feel like men and women should work together to dispel this kind of ideology so that we wouldn’t have to worry about these kinds of things that much.
Rule n1, to never take advice from women of how to be a MAN.
@@khalifaelm883 hey, if you wanna bottle up your emotions that’s your choice. You do you.
@@solbutton1611
Don't you think this can actually be harmful to men? When someone says men aren't crying as much as women and that is bad, isn't this like some women trying to make men like them because they feel more emotionally vulnerable than men? And since vulnerability is seen as weakness, so some of those women feel like they are inferior in some way and they want to (equalize that)?
I know that alot of females want some level of vulnerability in their man because it feels like she is special to him and important, but I feel there are some women who just want to (equalize) every thing about men and women, so when they see a high level of vulnerability or weakness in themselves, they want men to have that as much as them.
Also, don't you think a very emotionally vulnerable person will be more likely to throw fits and get angry and emotional with his day to day experience? Is that a good thing?
@@MA-gu2up None of that was my intention, but I get what you’re saying. I have a sense that a lot of people are trying to equalize men and women too much, and I do see the cons in that. My worry with men bottling up their emotions is that when anyone tends to bottle up their emotions, they might not know how to deal with them and react in a poor manner. Kinda gonna get personal, but I used to do that and ended up self-h@rmin& (not sure if YT blocks comments with those words). Despite what I said in my initial comment about my dad and brothers being more vulnerable, it took me a while to be like that myself despite me being the only girl. With depression in particular, I kept that locked within me for years before finally telling my dad about it, and now I see the power of being more open and vulnerable (I do also understand that I’m still a woman and that if a man were to do this, they would still be seen as weak, so my experience is different. But at least you get where I’m coming from). At least with the people you love. I’m not saying dudes should just cry out randomly on the streets. Or that they should cry about every little thing. But if things get overwhelming, then I don’t see any harm in letting that out emotionally, if that’s your thing. If you still don’t wanna be vulnerable, that’s fine. If you do, that’s fine. I just don’t think there should be stigma or teasing towards the guys who do wanna open up more.
@@solbutton1611
I hope you are fine now.
You see, because alot of women can't handle not opening up about their emotional problems and so on, and because women are more susceptible to negative emotions (sadness, anxiety, depression) compared to men, those women think men are the same when it comes to that.
I think you were even more vulnerable than your brothers actually, you probably cried more and so on, but you noticed that your brothers didn't encounter the problems you encountered, and you thought that is because they are more vulnerable than you, well, no , it is because they are less susceptible to negative emotions compared to you actually.
By the way, in the study of depression and so on, did you know that physically stronger people are less likely to be depressed? There is a correlation there.
Vulnerability is defined as quality of being easily harmed physically or emotionally.
According to this definition, women are naturally more vulnerable (physically or emotionally), that is one of the reasons women need to (open up) more, and they also cry more generally speaking.
So I'm not saying men don't need to (open up), in the end, we all have times of weakness and need, but they don't need to (open up) as much as women, because they are less vulnerable to physical and emotional harm.
When some women say (men shouldn't be afraid to open up), it is like you are trying to say that crying is strength!, it is like saying helplessness is strength! That is a contradiction
If someone can't handle things on his/her own , people typically see that as weakness, so alot of men feel that alot of women are sabotaging the word (strength), and attaching it to crying and being helpless, and that is not how we typically see this, the more a person cries and being helpless, that means there is less strength there.
For example, some people can beat their problems without talking to other humans , and others need help from other humans, the former is stronger, and I feel alot of women want to make the latter as the thing that shows strength, and since men don't need as much help as women to solve their problems, alot of men feel like they are called weak because they are handling their problems!! But This is the opposite of weakness!
Some women(especially some feminists) have an inferiority complex, because they want to be equal to man in everything, but because it is clear women are more vulnerable, then those women try to make it so that vulnerability is strength! So that they don't feel inadequate.
If a woman you're dating is turned off by you crying, just tell her you're turned off by her bleeding. If she says it's natural just start crying and say it's natural, check mate.
Edit: Holy cow 6k likes look mom I'm popular
Based
Kevin Springer: another one of those non cape wearing heroes
She can't help feeling disgusted by what they perceive as weakness. It doesn't matter what they say. What they FEEL when it happens is all that matters
@Ronald LOL this is like femcels explaining how all men are this this and that. Only a sith deals in absolutes
🔥
I cried in front of an ex about how well she treated me compared to past relationships. She responded with open arms and a calm voice, telling me I didn’t need to thank her for how she treated me, and just held me close and let me talk. Fellow men, it’s ok to cry, we’re human too.
Why is she your ex
@@ImTheMangaReader because he cried 😅😅
My husband cried infront of me not even two month into our relationship. He took me on a spontaneous visit to a retirement home where he had worked during the holidays three weeks ago. The caregivers there had to tell us that all of the old people that he´d taken care of had died during these three weeks. He was 16 and I was 15 at that time. After the visit he thanked me for letting him grief and giving him strengh. I came home that night and knew that this guy was for life.
So awesome
Beautiful story. I think this is the exact type of crying that women appreciate in men. Men should cry for others. Especially others that they take care of. It's Beautiful.
@@nomoresunforever3695 But this example is of children, not adults. Although I still believe it's best to act in a similar way to this
If he was man enough to take care of the elderly & stand with them against DEATH at 16, he will have no trouble taking care of you in your golden years.
Married to the person you met at 15 is amazing. I wish I could find someone after reading all of these comments. 🥲
People seem to forget that when we came into this world the first thing lots of us do is scream and cry.What can be more natural then crying
What more natural than poop yet it's disgusting. It's not black and white,play your card well. Know when and to whom you can and can not cry. Being always emotional is never good. It's the bitter truth of the world
and you were a lil weak baby too. Women expect us to be a big strong baby boy now
Big strong baby boys can cry but crying in times of turmoil and carrying on with life and maintaining your positive outlook is what makes you a man. Crying is an outlet, just dont whine or cry for every little thing. If a woman resents you for crying then that woman never truly loved you which means you dodged a bullet. If you were in a relationship atleast you already fucked her therefore you already took everything she had to offer. She walks away because you cried then she is walking away carrying your bodily fluids and DNA already inside of her. Her value goes down and your value keeps rising. Stay strong Kings
What about unnatural crying, and people who are smart enough to abuse that…
nope u just hate emotions and want everyone t0 be a zombie like you cus ur scared to open up lose ur ego and u will be fine weirdo@@orangepeeI
When I was in highschool, I had the worst few months of my life. I wasn't sleeping well at all, my anxiety was getting worse every day, and I was struggling in school. It was awful, and I wasn't talking to anyone about it. I ended up breaking down on the couch, just crying and sobbing like nothing else. And my mother, wonderful woman that she is, just sat down next to me and hugged me until I felt better.
I think everyone deserves that kind of person in their life.
I would have loved to have that kind of person in my life on a few occasions. Unfortunately, people can sometimes really be the opposite and make you feel excluded and isolated. But your story is very inspiring, that kind of warmth and trust is really all we need sometimes.
God bless our mothers. This almost made me cry.
I wish i had a mom like that
I wish i had a mom like that
@@Arystan_Goodway same, bud
I had an ex who told me she wanted me to be vulnerable with her and I was. During the final fight she told me she wished I was strong enough not to cry and to not dump my emotions on her. I left her never looked back. Found myself a woman who loves when I tell her about how I feel and wants me to feel safe around her and I’ve never been happier. It’s easy to say everything and everyone is trash, but you just have to find the right people who make it all make sense.
Good going, bro. Glad she's an ex and you found the right person.
glad you found out what a evil deamon she was.
If someone I’m dating sees it as a red flag, it tells me to get the fuck out. Showing any vulnerability is a sign of affection, it’s me telling them that “hey I’m being vulnerable, I trust you with my wellbeing because I don’t think that you will hurt me”. If that vulnerability is abused it’s worth the pain to know that she was someone who always would have abused that at some point and it’s better to have known sooner rather than later. It’s a canary in a coal mine for relationships.
If someone sees your vulnerability as a red flag, they automatically show a red flag of being highly toxic. Nobody is interested in these cold, unemotional, non-empathetic female reptilians. It's very healthy to be connected to your emotions and be vulnerable and to be able to cry when needed. There shouldn't ever be a judgment about this from anyone, especially from the person that should be your partner for life. The sick society we live in. So many emotionally disordered people act narcissistically and can't get vulnerable because, for them, it's a sign of weakness. They have personalities that everyone should avoid from miles away.
It's sad that comments like "Never show emotions bro 👊" are getting hundreds of likes and advice like this, is swept under the rug...
Oh well they'll never admit they don't want a vulnerable man. Those that do are honest
better watch some dramas then, gotta try that girl and cry in front of her
This is amazing and healthy advice for people. Self acceptance is the first step. If someone doesnt accept that level of vulnerability, then they dont deserve you plain and simple.
My mother-in-law once commented that my husband never cried, so when he cried in front of me the first thing I did was hug him, I understood that he felt so comfortable with me that he allowed himself to be vulnerable, finally married for 7 years
Have a great life good people 😊
I hope that one day I'll find someone who'll allow me to be vulnerable front of them and create a safe space for me to express my emotions. Thanks for sharing a slice of your life with your husband, it really resonated with me.
My own mother looked at me like I was crazy the last time I cried in front of her, and she always told me crying was okay. So yeah I won't cry in front of a woman.
If your own mother genuinely reacts like that when you cry or express your feelings she isn't your mother.
the internet is your mother now. accept her loving embrace and cry for us
jus like me fr
@@user-ey9yn5yt5q It's not really barricading, some people just don't know how to or want to deal with a grown person crying, I know I can't, I usually just stare at them, I'm not equipped to handle that stuff.
My mum is narcissist, she always told me to grow up and stop being a baby. I now have a girlfriend who comforts me when I cry. There's still good women out there.
I grew up in a matriarchal family and they said don’t cry it’s for babies
dang that's kinda sad. i always thought that boys who grew up in a matriarchal family would be such a good thing for them because it's healthier (since i grew up in one). guess I can't really generalize things
I cried in front of my fiancé the other day and she took me to waffle house. Fuck I won.
You got a rare one keep her forever
Damn 😂
@@bibinthomas5282 hey the fact that I know I am loved is a lot to be grateful for lmao was a rough month
You deserve it bro 💯
Treat her right, you got a real one
My ex-wife told me to stop being a little girl once because I was unhappy that we were growing more distant. I wasn't crying, but I was upset and wanted a serious adult conversation about it. Can't even begin to start showing emotion.
That said, I'm with a girl now that is empathetic and can handle the fact i'm human and can't always be strong.
Women aren't a monolithic entity, just don't waste your time on the shit ones.
That severely limits the dating pool
@@motorwheeler it does, but youll find that the competition is lower too. A lot of guys chase glamorous trash. Not a lot are actually looking for something wholesome.
Or they think they are, then they'll date the "bad girls" with just as much blinkers over the red flags as the girls that chase "bad boys".
Facts bro, I‘m happy for you
@@motorwheelerIt’s worth trimming it down.
@@motorwheelergood! Less time and energy wasted on women you don't want to deal with.
We men need some standards for once lmao. I for one know one of my standards before I met my amazing girlfriend was that she had to be emotionally stable and willing to be my rock from time to time (I can also be a rock to her from time to time too, although admittedly I am not good at it yet, I am working on my mental health).
I know some people might say 'she'll eventually lose interest and leave' but honestly if she does and the reason is because I cry sometimes, then it was never meant to be and I'll be happier without someone incompatible.
When I cried in front of my girlfriend for the first time, she held me and asked what she could do to help. She herself had battled a long history of depression and extreme anxiety so she understands and knows how to help in those situations.
While it isn’t the only reason why, it’s kind of apparent why I want to merry this girl eventually.
That is amazing. It really is probably the smartest thing to say is ask "what can I do, that can help you", much less pressure and good for trust building. Much better than asking "why are you crying?" as that could come across as intimidating, maybe they are not ready to talk about it.
❤
Bless ❤
*marry. Maybe get better at spelling before you consider marriage bud
@@yourtourguidesassistant6554 Ok, grammar police.
I had my first ever panic attack on a second date with the woman I am currently seeing. She helped me through it and I was terrified of scaring her away but she accepted me and has loved me ever harder for it. My PTSD isn’t going to stop me from being the person I was before. Be yourself and don’t be afraid of rejection, the people you want to attract will appreciate you for who you are.
Solid life advice
12:35 I love that she just kept going and was steadfast in sharing her thoughts despite her friends laughing/possibly making her feel awkward. Shows that she’s confident in herself and she’s clearly smart.
or full of crap lol.. but ye maybe
@@cringocringo yeah i was thinking more along your lines she was trying to get a rise out of her friends feeding off their laughter
Yea they were all lying lol
Tbh I felt like most people were probably genuine but the two people who just felt fake was the woman at 9:27 and the group of girls
Even how they worded ts “if a man cries you have to TOLERATE it” I could be misquoting but she used the word tolerate when talking about listening to someone cry. If your loved one is hurting and opens up to you that shouldn’t be something you tolerate - you should be happy they opened up and willing to help them.
Also how she said that everyone else got Kanye and some other topic and they were stuck with the male crying one. Their whole vibe just felt weird.
Especially the talkative one you’re referring to - she just felt like she’s saying ts for the camera.
Ofc I don’t know these people - this was just my gut feeling. Maybe they’re great people who knows
I cried in front of my ex and minutes later she went and made fun of me to her friends. I was told this by her friend and immediately was heartbroken. A couple weeks later she went back to her toxic ex she said she “hated”. I’m done being vulnerable.
Why are you done being vulnerable? You were dating a toxic woman. You can cry as much as you need to in front of a healthy woman. Crying is healing and don't worry about the opinions of toxic female reptilians.
Watch she’s going to try come back to you ghost for six months build a relationship with Jesus hit the gym eat healthy groom ur hair and practice semen retention invest and make money and watch what will happen 🙏🏾🔥😊💯
Yes. Never cry in front of a woman unless someone close to you dies. She will lose respect for you everytime
I once knew a couple on my block. When the wife saw her husband cry over something, she'd take him out to his favorite diner tbe next day and order him his favorite meal.
What happened to you happened to me as well but being vulnerable isn't a bad thing. Unfortunately, like me, you stumbled upon a toxic individual who hurts more than loves. Go find yourself a woman like the couple I mentioned above, one who understands the true value of being open with emotions, because those are the ones who truly matter.
Fuc that, we hit Jim
There is a big difference between what women SAY they want/ok with and the way they actually react in those situations.
As a woman myself I'm not gonna lie I would feel out of my depth if a man cried in front of me, but lemme stress that it wouldnt be because I view it as weak/disgusting - bc it isn't, but bc it's a rare thing for me to witness - the amount of times it's happened I can only count on one hand - and so at least for me it's less of a "saying smth i dont actually mean" and more of a "caught off guard and don't know how how they wish to be comforted" thing. I'm not trying to be antagonistic but can u see how it would be difficult for women to know what to do/react "right" when it virtually never happens?
@@moony995No really, I don’t. I’m not trying to be rude, but the guy is crying, not explaining theoretical physics-if you can comfort girls then you can comfort guys.
@@chasewainscott8739 sure i can, I'm just saying it'd be a bit of a shock initially bc im not used to it. I wasn't trying to excuse the women that react cruelly to men crying, sorry if i sounded like that
@@chasewainscott8739brother its better and easier walking through a minefield in Afghanistan than crying in front a woman 😂
@@moony995Really? Everyone I've ever dated has cried in front of me at some point. I don't think it's THAT unusual.
I’m 24 and I’ve always been an emotional person as I deal with depression, anxiety & PTSD. My girlfriend always told me when we first got together that if I ever needed to vent or talk, to give her a call. This was before we moved in together, we lived in the same state but we were 2 hours away from each other because I was taking care of my grandmother full time who had dementia. A little over a month into our relationship, I called her one night. My grandma had died from dementia and I was very close with her as I helped take care of her till the end. I called her and it got to the point that I couldn’t hold it in anymore and I just let it all out. She stayed on the phone with me for over 2 hours to make sure I was ok and what she told me was when I knew she was the one that I wanted to be with for the rest of my life. “It’s ok to feel the way you feel. I won’t ever make fun of the way you feel because you make emotions just like me. We’re a team and that means helping each other no matter what it is”. At first, I thought she was just saying that to make me feel better but she’s always kept her word as I’ve cried in front of her a couple times after that and she’s always hugged me and let me get it all out when I need to and she does the same with me. We’ve now been together for almost 2 years and I plan proposing to her next year.
I am sorry to hear about your PTSD. Just like you, I too am an emotional person, and a bit crazy (like my name suggests). I am so glad that your sweetheart is sympathetic, kind, and loving to you. She is truly a blessing from God. Here are two bits of my crazy advice I offer to you to enhance your relationship.:
(1) TAKE THIS FOR WHAT IT'S WORTH. As men, we are entitled to our emotions; and have the right to express our feelings. What's more, we have known for years that emotional suppression is harmful to men's health. As far as relating to women, here is a special bit of advice. If you are a sensitive, or emotional, man here is how you can keep your woman. PASSIONATELY PERFORM CUNNILINGUS ON HER DAILY (except when she is menstruating). Just watch. She will miraculously find a way to stay with you. Many more women will leave a man who doesn't do cunnilingus (70% of women claim that they would). What's more, 80% of women prefer cunnilingus over intercourse. I believe that the determinant factor is CUNNILINGUS, not CRYING. Please consider what I say.
(2)To encourage men to be more open emotionally, and to encourage women to be more compassionate, I encourage couples to try CFNM, which means s "clothed female, nude male". The philosophy behind CFNM is the concept of the "rebalancing of power" in male-female relations. Women, being clothed, means that they are able to feel empowered, confident, and revered. This will make her feel more self-assured, so that she can be more compassionate toward men. And men, being nude, are able to experience being open, vulnerable, and accepted. Hence, men are able to open up and express their feelings more. This helps both men and women because women crave power and men crave acceptance. So both are happy. In addition to this, men. being nude, will make a greater effort to keep their bodies in good shape. With men being nude sex symbols, they will feel more at ease to be open emotionally. And women will appreciate their nude hunks more, accept his vulnerable side, and be more compassionate when he cries.
I was crying in the train one time (I never cry but that time I couldn't resist) I think it was idk 1h of me crying none stop and people looking at me of course.
In that period of time a woman asked me if I was alright but then later a man just looked at me and gave me and airpod, I put it in and he played "don't worry be happy" then he gave me a hug and we talked for a bit while he also played "staying alive" it was an act of kindness that made me cry even more but it gave me hope in humanity
Right on, thats dope as fuck.
damn bro humanity at its best!!
@@1987cmli think it’s actually fairly equal but in different ways, guys just have a different way of doing it. for me at least, its easier to be vulnerable with women and they usually are the ones to comfort me when no one else does. but men also have that capacity, a lot of the times its hard for them to approach you first. its kinda funny, its like the opposite of we view both genders cuz it’s usually the women being aggressively empathetic but men can be people you can go to and they’re willing to listen as well
mhh k lol
Man: cries
Stranger: act of kindness
Man: cries even more
Stranger: oh god I fucked up🥺
They both cry
If she left you for being vulnerable, she ain't worth it
cool....the majority of women aren't worth it then....glad you cleared that up.
Women deserve strong men not weak little boys
@@Blackraptor1234 that's dumb of you to overgeneralize and even if that is actually the case then it's better to be single than with someone that doesn't respect you for being vulnerable like any other human being
No, you're not worth it.
Very true, vulnerability is an investment, not everyone deserves your genuine feelings. As long as you are not constantly venting to her and expecting emotional support 100% of time, if you want to be treated like a person, you got to treat her like you would like to be treated yourself.
i think it's amazing that no ones find incoherent to say "dont cry too early in the relationship, could be a turn off". If a man implied that her girlfriend must always be sexually attractive, he would be called a moron with unrealistic fixations. But ok.
Good point actually.
This
It would be true, he'd be a moron. Expecting someone to always look attractive to you is increadibly moronic. Expecting someone to not show emotions orninvulnerability is also emotionally unhealthy.
One does not exclude the other.
lmao dont u think it would be weird to cry on first date for both genders though
@@Sk_-vu6dv yeah, that's an extreme example. I actually went on a date with a girl that cried on the first date once and made me uncomfortable. Never saw her again 😅
When I finally broke down sobbing in the aftermath of our miscarriage, my wife told me she was so relieved to not be alone in it anymore. She has also supported me through the death of my dad. Truly a partner that everyone should strive to have. But I also acknowledge that she isn’t my personal therapist - while I can lean on her for support, she can’t fix all my issues and a recurring mental health problem requires professional help and also a larger support system than one person. A friend circle is important for this reason. Men need to be okay with vulnerability even around “the bros” because your partner can’t carry your troubles all by themselves. It weighs on them too and it’s not fair to expect that from them all the time.
You are an internet stranger I'm rooting for. Know you're never alone in this world.
@Herpusderpud such a matured take
i cry in front of my cat all the time. no judgement from her
*No spoken judgement.
@@PROVOCATEURSK😅
yeah the cat is actually like get me a new human mine is broken
A stray tuxedo cat I took care of years ago crawled onto my lap when I was nearing to tears... I'll never forget the assurance she gave me. 😁
Cats deem everyone inferior to them anyway
Man, it's very refreshing to find some sane, normal young men and women on a video like this. That isn't the norm. Good find Andrew.
Honestly man it is the norm, all the people outside your door are normal reasonable folks. It’s just that the internet shows us the vids that get the most clicks and reactions, which is obviously the most ridiculous people. The internet be convincing us that other people are insane but really people just be people
@@aidenboomervideo You are right. Like you say, when I was stating 'that isn't the norm', I meant in terms of what you'd find on these types of videos. It made a nice change. I really do despise the internet culture nowadays.
@@aidenboomervideo I noticed this reading the other comments. Many in the video said it was no problem, or just needed a little time and adjustment.
It seems irrational to believe anything else than what you've written. Why then, do so many comments seem to make such generalized, absolutist statements?
What would you say to someone paranoid about this?
I'd ask *them* questions, but I'm sure you know what they'd say.
don't look at the comments bro they are not having a normal one there
@@bloodhoundsoldier7445 yeah, so many men are jaded and it’s sad to see. And most of the time it’s from one relationship, or even judging the world based on the internet. Not even being hurt, time after time. It’s real sad.
My dad passed away recently and I’ve cried quite a few times in front of my girlfriend and she has never judged me or thought less of me for it. Feeling those emotions is extremely important for growth and maturity.
I couldn’t imagine being judged for crying over the loss of a loved one
You might have gotten a good one. Those are hard to find.
That's just a completely different case my friend. Some guys cry like little girls over small things
@@Y_AnSHumaan Do you remember when Jordan Peterson cried? He showed empathy and he got mocked for it by women.
Seems like you found a good one man
"If you need to tolerate tears, thats ok" thats tells me everything i need to know. They dont like when you show how you really feel and if you do it too often.... relationship done.
3:00 Her reaction... RIP Toby, I felt that
she didn't need to be extra like that
That is what i said, why all that extra? just a No is enough
Oof that's rough, mans loosing big time
They fuxxin
Word
GF: "Wow, you're so cold, open Up! Express your emotions!"
Me: Proceeds to tell my fears and insecurities*
GF: *LOSES ATTRACTION*
And then you wave goodbye to her 👋
Pretty much. We have to act like Conan the barbarian instead of ourselves.
Well fuck her right off then. Relationships require vulnerability, period.
Don't rob her of the joy and mystery and work that's involved with gaining your trust, respect and slowly teasing things out of you. If you just open like a flood gate it spoils that for her. She wants to feel like she has to earn it each step of the way. Because a high value guy with lots of options and his own life mission to focus on isn't going to spill the beans so easily.
@@constantchange1145 No.
my ex was the sweetest girl. she told me that I don't have to put on appearances in front of her and feel free to be vulnerable. she also told me that a person in a relationship isn't responsible for the happiness of the other person, and it's selfish to expect otherwise. she also told me that I'll never be rid of her because loyalty is everything to her. I thought I found my future wife. I wanted to have a family with her.
six months later she broke up with me saying she doesn't have time for our relationship. I spent days trying to talk to her to convince her to stay and she was very dismissive throughout the whole thing. when I told her I though we were happy together, she scoffed and said "you thought I was happy?". when she came over to pack up her things, I broke down in tears and she looked at me in disgust.
everything she told me was a lie. that was almost 10 years ago. haven't trusted the word of a woman since.
I feel very sad for you brother, trust me when I say I do
But, maybe this whole thing is not as much about your ex being a woman as your ex being an asshole
'cause being an asshole isn't exclusive to women
She pitched the script and sold you on it. Same kind of thing happened to me. You're not alone man, at least take comfort in that.
It's possible she had something bad going on in her life, she probably wasn't disgusted because you cried, but because you didn't comfort her or tried to reasom with her
@@xplorer2111 word.
What happened in those six months? What changed? Did you notice anything? Was all okay with her family?
Drastic life and family changes can make a person change a lot.
I have had people do that to me. Male friends who never shared anything and just acted normal around me. Later I found out they were going through shit.
What put me off is they were emotionally vulnerable and then turned around and basically told me that they would respect me less if I were to accept them wholeheartedly now that I know 'what asshats they are'. I tried comforting them but ended up taking their advice and dropping the friendship.
They were they type that couldn't bear to be vulnerable in front of any woman because they were vulnerable in front of the wrong woman once and got torn down very badly.
I guess the only thing you can do for such guys is to let them walk with their dignity intact and drop the relationship cuz then they'll never feel comfortable with you again after being so vulnerable.
It is weird but they have to work that out themselves I can't help.
Me and my wife were having marital issues. She explained to me I was being distant and how she felt like we needed to try to be closer again. We fought back and forth and we found the problem; three months prior my dog had passed away from cancer. He actually passed away right in my arms. He was my best friend, but more so he felt like a son to me. I finally opened up to her and told her everything that had reminded me of him was still here. I was still grieving. She held me and I cried in her arms. She too had felt the pain of my dog passing. It’s okay to cry in front of a girl as long as she’s understanding. I get it, sometimes as a man you feel like you can’t or feel uncomfortable to even talk about feelings but as I’m learning sometimes it’s best to at least talk about some of them. Currently I’m in therapy. Animal or person grief is grief.
Cried in front of my mom because she said I couldn't see my crush in high school. She told me to "man up" and proceeded to chastise me for my weakness..."this is why women don't like you." Never opened up to her again. Women use your weakness as ammunition in an argument.
*your mother use your weakness...
That’s just what ma’s do 💪
@@h6dddcope
Good Mother, bless her
@@xhydracod2938I hope you never have children
Man: "Should men be more emotionally vulnerable ?"
Girl: "Yes, but not..." 🙂
A little bit but not too much! That's why so many like bad boys
@justindefav21editsbait
@justindefav21edits oh please. this is ridiculous and if you look at any couple and actually get to know the people in that couple, you'll see how dumbfounded this rhetoric is. people say "they only like bad boys", "leaders", or "men who take charge", meanwhile every guy i am friends with who has a girlfriend or is married will call their S/O just to say "hey, what should i get for lunch?" Clearly all of these men I know are actually just complete assholes when I'm not around them, right? Lmao, no, that's stupid.
I personally view vulnerability as a perfect filter. If *ANOTHER PERSON* makes me feel comfortable enough to open up about something emotional, to share some kind of vulnerability with them, *that is HUGELY significant to me.* That means I likely view this person as very important/very significant. If someone is DISGUSTED by this, because it's "too early", or gives them some kind of "ick", I immediately know they were never worth any time or emotional investment from me in the first place. Because they don't value what being vulnerable means in the same way that I do.
Here for comments.
@@spartan456your friends don't represent the majority of cases
I cried in front of women 3 times. Even though not every one of them I was romantically interested in the relationship deteriorated after it. They didn't treat me the same way anymore.
Yh happened to me when I was young everyone told to not cry whilst I was getting bullied ok the daily not only that most of the crying was out of anger being "weak " not strong enough to not cry and not strong enough to not be bullied by a guy that's 2 years older than me (I was 6-7) the only reason that it hurt was that not only did they know but that it was my family who thinks I'm a weak cry baby .
I once cried in front od my mom while trying to vent how bad i was feeling recently, she laughed at me and called me pathetic, then started talking about her own problems
Your mother sounds like a sociopath with psychological problems
I wish you a happy time this summer, I’m so sorry to hear that you’re going through that. Faith in Jesus Christ(if you are Christian) will be your #1 friend. God bless and may the Lord watch over you no matter your religion. Just know you’re special to someone, no matter the situation there will always be someone who cares, you may just have never noticed them. Hope your situation gets better, God bless
@@Arystan_Goodway please be cautious with the women u date because you will find yourself attracted to women who treated you as badly as your mum did
the exact same thing happened to me.. except i didnt even get as far as u and she was already disappointed
This is an odd and fucked up thing that parents love to do.
As a man, I have a hard time keeping my emotions in check. I cry when I'm happy, I cry when I empathize, I cry when I'm stressed out and sad.
I'm just a big ol crybaby. And thankfully I've found a woman that embraces that side of me. It's cliche but I'm a lucky crybaby ig lol
I'm definitely super sensitive myself, but I've not found a way to even accept it in myself to find a woman that would.
Same, all the same, and after I lost my dad a few years ago I found a therapist that’s absolutely incredible. The way she’s helped me rewire my selftalk, communication, and relationship dynamics has immensely improved every aspect of my life. I’m so damn proud to be an emotionally available and mature person. I encourage everyone to to do the same. We should all feel free to express our emotions, take care of ourselves and each other.
@@GRAYgauss Hey brother, I hope one day you not only find a partner that cherishes your vulnerability but that you come to value that side of yourself as well.
@@Dorito_Dust This makes me happy to read!
@EarthatWork lmaooo as you should 😂
Hi ladies. We're human. We have emotions. We can feel pain. Just like you. We can't be strong ALL the time.
^
Sun tzu mustve been rejected too many times thats why he dropped his hottest bar: "appear strong when youre weak and weak when youre strong"
Speak for yourself, sissyboy.
@@Kenji-117his poor lil heart was broken when he wrote that one
You don't seriously expect women to showcase basic empathy for men, do you?
Honesty and authenticity is a form of strength. If that means crying, its strength too.
You had me in the first half, but how is crying a strength? Being honest and authentic is considered strong cause it takes courage to do so in a machiavellian society. But crying isint it.
@@halfw1ng courage isn't the only parameter of strength. Not crying when you need to would imply suppressing emotional reaction, beacuse one fears social judgement or rejection. Sometimes being strong means you have the strength, the means and enough reason to not care what everyone else might think. It means self confidence and self sustainability. Being enough for ones ownself.
@@abysswitheyes Get into Stocism, embrace your dormant hardwired masculinity
@@KushiLungs okay but... I'm a female?....
@TheVeritasHenry "even when alone it's an unearned relief system" I wholeheartedly disagree with you and I'm sorry you feel this way. Maybe you haven't received a lot of compassion from the people in your life so now you think the way to live is to be always in control of yourself. People didn't show you that it was ok to let go sometimes. We're only human. We are meant to fall, make mistakes and feel sad at times. Tears are just a natural reaction to our emotions. Like your Heartbeat speeds, like you produce saliva, your eyes tears up. We need these "relief systems" to be able to heal and move on. Its crazy to me that some people can oppose to a reaction that's so natural and biological. There is no need to put so much meaning into it. Just have a good cry and move on
i grew up with my dad saying “real men don’t cry” and i never saw him cry even though i did all the time when i was alone which really sucked yk? now i have a friend who i can cry in front of and she says it makes me emotionally intelligent to recognize my feelings and she says it’s a normal human behavior. dude she’s my best friend idk what i did to deserve her :,(
Your dad is right in my opinion
I think women will usually say that they want their man to be vulnerable, but their subconscious will usually tell them that they are not safe with a man who cries. That being said, I'm a fan of crying, and think it's a healthy emotional release.
🤝🏻
cry all you want, just dont do it in front of a girl you want to F
yeah i think emotional men arent trusted as much, even if its a very genuine emotion. its more rare to find truly non judgemental people. lost relationships over it, ive learned to be more selective about who i open up to.
Women like that have a brain that is more animal than human, so I won't even care about their opinion. Their life is guided by their instinct and usually you can easily see that there is not much information inside them. Crying is a human trait and that is what makes it so special, to appreciate it is necessary to develop some emotional intelligence, not everyone can.
@@kkkkkk6570 I just watched a pretty compelling video that explains why that's probably not the case. As women find "sensitive" guys to be more attractive possibly because women are attracted to traits that represent good paternal instincts and being emotionally void is not a sign of a good father. Men, on the other hand, value physical attractiveness (on average) more than other traits, due to physical traits indicating a mate who can carry and birth healthy children. To me, this is why men don't value the "vulnerability" of other men, because to them, physical traits are more important, you can see this in the gym bros that seem to get more and more popular.
The studies that backed these claims admitted that gender-based preference studies are always flawed. However, I do think it's fairly accurate in this situation.
It’s disgusting how as a society we internalized this sick belief that men who cry are weak. Like no, nobody who cries is weak, people who cry are literally just being human. If anyone you know reacts with disgust or mocks you when you cry, run the opposite way. They are not your friend and they don’t love you. Better be alone than be around these people.
That’s making excuses for weakness. Real men have complete and total self control, any man who fails and gives in to their emotions is weak and running from people telling you the truth is just cowardice
Respectfully it is not “as a society” it’s in male society, men are the main culprit to pushing toxic masculinity. No need to further explain just look at the first comment. 👆🏼🥱
@@NathanDavis508 we are all run by emotions either consciously or not :) some people are in tuned with their emotions and cry when needed and some people repress feelings and play tough:) which we all know results in poor mental health. people who judge others as weak are predatory and they won't support you so you should just avoid them
@@PadajDeszczu it’s not playing tough, it’s just controlling yourself. There’s nothing predatory about telling people the truth. You can’t suppress emotion, but you can control the effect you let it have on you. And again, people who can’t accept that and make excuses are weak
@@NathanDavis508what’s the benefit of controlling the urge to cry and not doing it
The video of Andrew crying was one of the best things I've ever seen. I treasure that clip and I'm gonna show it to my kids when they grow up. OTAY OTAY!
That 2016-17 vlog era of Andrew’s was definitely one of a kind
That's weird thing to do but understandable.
Fleeky
My father died in 2023, and my mom, too, a year and month later. I have not been myself for a long while and everytime ive broken down my fiancée is there to hold me. Im truly grateful for her.
God bless your fiance. Also, TAKE THIS FOR WHAT IT'S WORTH.
Emotional suppression is unhealthy for men, both emotionally and physically. We have known this for many years. So those who compel men to suppress their emotions are killing men. in the Bible, we read that many men have cried, grieved, or mourned. Even Jesus Christ wept. Therefore, if God's only begotten Son cried, then there is no reason that any other man should feel that crying, showing emotion, or being vulnerable, is weak or unmanly. Anyone who says "Grown men and big boys don't cry", obviously doesn't read the Bible, has never experienced extreme joy, and has never experienced heartbreak or sorrow.
As men, we are entitled to our emotions; and have the right to express our feelings. As far as relating to women, here is a special bit of advice. If you are a sensitive, or emotional, man here is how you can keep your woman. PASSIONATELY PERFORM CUNNILINGUS ON HER DAILY (except when she is menstruating). Just watch. She will miraculously find a way to stay with you. Many more women will leave a man who doesn't do cunnilingus (70% of women claim that they would). What's more, 80% of women prefer cunnilingus over intercourse. I believe that the determinant factor is CUNNILINGUS, not CRYING. Please consider what I say.
"He's gonna make us look like terrible people."
Yeah, about that...
He didn’t have to do much lol
I'm disappointed Andrew didn't show the people the clip of him crying. Would've been hilarious getting their reactions
I was hoping he would start crying on the spot if someone said they didn't have a problem with seeing a guy cry.
Im pretty sure he has done that in an old video
Theres daddy crying video and also daddy watching the crying video so… otay
@@ivox. I'm glad he kept it serious
He has done this before! I think it’s titled “showing people my videos” or something
If my tears are an expression of truth and the woman I'm with is turned off by them, that's a good thing. Clearly we're incompatible if she's turned off by my true emotion, so it's best we learn this ASAP and part ways. Hiding who you are in the hopes that someone finds you attractive is about as emotionally empty as life gets.
Absolutely. Communication and expression is important. People nowadays are so afraid of leaving or getting left.
You speak the truth.
Agreed! I'm not holding in tears to avoid coming across as weak. Sooner or later you will fail to hide your true self, and it will be lot more painful if it turns out your partner doesn't support who you actually are. Don't put on a façade, it's not worth it.
Wise words 🙏🏻
This guy Emotional Intelligences
Cried in front of a wall before... Didn't gossip a word about it
Truly a legend
I’ve never cried in front of a woman aside from my mom. The two relationships I’ve been in, both women weaponized the death of my father, my depression, or other personal things that I told them in confidence. I know not all women are like this and men do this crap too.
The crazy thing is both of the women in those relationships, assured me and encouraged me to be more vulnerable and open. Honestly those experiences have made me almost the complete opposite. You have to be very good at reading people and vet them before just letting anyone into your life, it’s common sense but sometimes we forget how cruel people can be and we tend to let down our guard because it becomes tiresome and impossible to connect with anyone.
@LAHWF𝟏𝟕𝟔𝟐𝟐𝟔𝟎𝟓𝟑𝟖𝟐 ah yes that’s not a scam at all lmao
I hate stigma on crying and showing emotions. I was trying so hard not to cry on my mom's funeral when I was 16 while I had every reason in the world to burst in tears. That was the moment I realized that crying in front of someboddy takes a courage. Unfortunately I'm still not confident enough to cry when I feel like it.
First of all, i wanted to say im sorry to hear that. I believe this is true. Showing vulnerability takes courage. Hope you have a nice day/year/life
Crying is one of the strongest and visible emotions a human being can feel. It gives clarity in moments of sorrow
I felt so special even my baby cried about 2 months into our relationship I saw he was hiding it on call but I comforted him he’s cried 3 times in the year and disgust never crossed my mind.
My wife was somewhat uncomfortable with me crying in front of her at first, but it just took her time to get over her own stuff. Because women are socialized to view men a certain way just like we were socialized to view women a certain way. It didn't take long for her to appreciate my vulnerability. It certainly has made us extremely close and supportive of each other.
Mehhhh she's just fake buddy
I like this comment. Don't let others tell you that she's being fake. You're right. Most of the time if people judge you for your mistakes and your vulnerability it's likely that they are suffering from some kind of insecurity or vulnerability of their own that they haven't overcome. It's also sad to see that these better comments get less likes and attention compared to the ones that's a lot more overgeneralizing...
This is one of the only realistic comments I have seen here. It can be tough for women to figure out how to be there for you, but most will at least try.
@@FirstNameLastName-lu5nrit really isn't. There's nature and there's nurture and he completely ignored one of those. Yes it's partly socialization but men and women are also wired differently from birth. We think differently. Women are more in tune with their emotion and so mostly they will not find someone who is also emotional, to be attractive. Even in a homosexual relationship, one person usually displays more masculine traits. Half of what some of these women say in the video isn't what they will feel in the moment. Plus these are college students
those 3 at the end who laughed the entire way through the interview definetly lied.
They’re jokes
100%
Yeah these 3 women are evil. Stay far away for sure ☠️
Likelier they're nervous in front of the camera. Some people laugh when they're nervous
If you think emotions are optional as a man, but you also want to experience a 'meaningful' life... take a second to ask yourself how you plan to actually FEEL that meaning in your life. One of my biggest 'ah ha' moments was learning you can't selectively dampen the feelings you don't like while keeping the ones you do. An intellectualized life might look good on paper, but it feels as empty as it is. Keep on feeling my boizzzz
The sweet spot for men is learning to feel the full range of emotions without dampening them, while using stoic discipline to not allow emotions to control our behavior, because emotional decisions and actions are almost never good ones, and often dangerous and self destructive. I believe men actually feel our emotions more intensely than women, which is why it is so important for men to be disciplined in our behavior. We are naturally capable of doing more damage when not in control of our emotions. It is better for men to bring our issues to our closest male friends or a well vetted therapist, and very rarely to your wife, not girlfriend or fiancé (and only then if she is a certain type of woman, which unfortunately is a very small portion of the female population, and it should be kept to very specific situations like grief or other kinds of major loss). Most women will only hold it against you in the future, usually in an argument, and on top of that, they are almost guaranteed to tell their girlfriends. I agree that emotions definitely aren’t optional as men. It’s just that there is an evolutionary/survival/biological reason why women are naturally repulsed by men who cry. Modern society has conditioned women to think it’s ok for men to cry and be vulnerable, which is a good and noble goal. It’s just that it goes against biology and that is why the women who do stick by their men who cry and are vulnerable are the exception, not the rule, and exceptions don’t disprove the rule. So it’s true “not all” women do it. But its better to operate on probability, not possibility, if a man wants the best possible outcomes in life. It is possible to find one of those women, just not probable, unfortunately.
You gotta know how to balance your emotions and deal with them and sometimes, it is just better to bottle them up. Sorry but emotionally led men is up to no good...
@@filipradojcic1865 It wreaks havoc on your nervous system and relationships to 'bottle them up' and leads to all types of maladaptive behaviors from those who do it. Being able to process your emotions and speak from them (when appropriate) doesn't mean you are being dragged around by your emotions into unhealthy or unkind actions. It means you know how to move a feeling through your body and speak up for them when needed.
@@sirlongschlong I'd argue the opposite based on my experience and the information I've seen at large regarding culture and biology and men's emotions and how others respond to them. Society has been the one to program most people to be repulsed by a man showing emotions (besides anger, which is allowed and even celebrated at times ). The book "For the Love of Men" does a great job debunking some of the things our society assumes are 'biological' when it comes to men and emotions.
I was like this for a bit mostly because I had to be.. but when people around me were allowed to have emotional outburst but mine were discouraged when I was like yep im gonna live how I want because most other people are as well.
i cried in front of my girlfriend at the time. this was after she told me she doesn’t see us lasting forever.
we had been together for like 6 months. it hurt because i loved her and only saw myself with her. so after we had a deep conversation about our relationship and she said that, i started crying, not hysterically though but a few tears started flowing down.
she hugged me and put my face to her chest.
idk how she felt about that moment, personally i was embarrassed but i have lots of respect for how she handled that situation and felt better in the moment and still now about it because of that.
I broke down in tears in front of my ex of nearly 5yrs, she didn't comfort me in any way, she just said "I don't know what to do" then she walked out of the room.
I tried to OD as I was at rock bottom, she then found out about it and I said I can tell her why and she said she didn't want to know, she was very cold towards me over something I couldn't control. Lost my money on the engagement ring aswell.
Not long ago, I was getting to know a girl and she said she wants to know everything about me, even the dark and bad. I gave her some simplified things after being pushed for it. She completely changed towards me. I don't ever want to open up and be vulnerable to a girl again.
The funny thing is, both pushed to know what was wrong until I gave in and gave them what they wanted, however, it really wasn't what they wanted subconsciously.
Just to clarify, I haven't done or said anything bad, it was to do with things that were done to me and out of my control as I was only a kid.
Stay strong bro, you’ll find her eventually
sorry that happened. it could be that the type of women you are going for are ones who are not emotionally equiped or nurturing. But don't give up, not all women are cold like that. Also, I've learned you do have to be a little careful about how much you open up in the beginning of a relationship because sometimes the people who push real hard in the beginning for you to open up are actually the ones who you probably shouldn't. The one's who are actually cool to open up to won't force intimacy on you. They will just let the vulnerability between you develop naturally at its own pace.
"Not too early in a relationship, it might be a turn off."
It's ok, we don't all sexualise you. Some of us actually think of you as human beings too. Being genuine comes first.
M'lady
@@mcgilliman no
😁🤣@@Ynox54321
Sure. Are you trying to find a partner or to friendzone some guy
@@DenerWitt shut up
I've noticed in my own experience that there's a strong disconnect between what a woman will say she wants in a man, and the men that they actually choose to date.. that's all I can say from my experiences..
Find someone who disproves your experiences
This man is a veteran
@@xplorer2111didn't exist lmao you find for him
Once cried in front of my ex whom I was in a relationship for almost 2 years. She told me it was okay to cry in front of her multiple times in the relationship and that she wanted to be there for me if I ever did.
One day after work I had an anxiety induced mental breakdown at home and facetimed her as a sobbing broken mess in hopes of having her help me calm down and be an anchor for me like I had been doing every time she had panic attacks. Instead she didn't take it seriously and kept me on call in the living room where she and her parents were just watching TV - I ended up having to take a week and a half off of work just to be able to function again - no thanks to her as she was gone on a trip for 2 weeks.
She broke up with me 2 months later out of the blue and over text.
If it weren't for my mom and her (my mom's) side of the family I probably wouldn't've been here typing this.
Cant remember the author but she was at a book signing for one of her books and the topic of men crying and the like came up and one guy who is getting some books signed for his wife and daughters drops what is probably the hardest quote ive ever heard and it genuinely gave me pause "They would rather see me die on my white horse than fall."
That shit lives with me to this day.
As a side note i have never in my life been cut down more in my life than by women I've shared vulnerabilities with. Not once has any man who has known something truly cutting and turned it on me in the heat of the moment.
Exactly, women are coniving and devious. They enjoy attacking men because they know they can never be at their level. Be careful of devious women looking to tear you down based on some weakness you've revealed.
Men hurt other men in a much more honest and straightforward way, typically through physical violence. It's why I really love wild animals, there is a certain unspoken agreement that if we invade each others space that it can and will get violent.
Women are far more prone to (not so) subtle manipulations.
Oh yes! I remember this author. Her name is brene brown 💕
HOLY F*CK that's a hard quote. I love it and it's true
The book is called "Men, Women, and Worthiness" (by Brené Brown). It goes into some of the reasons why many women can't handle it when men cry despite telling men to open up and be vulnerable in front of them. I know "this book changed my life" is such a cliché, but really, this book DID change my life, how I saw and treated others, and how I treated myself.
One needs to be wary of the fact that what women SAY infront of an audience and on camera - is totally different to what they actually think as an individual and amongst their friends.
💯
Thank you for this video, I really needed this tbh. Every single person I’ve ever showed emotion in front of left shortly there after. From grief to hard times to so much loneliness it didn’t really matter the lesson was the same, if you cry you’re baggage and I don’t wanna help or talk to you. It’s just a kicker from all the people I’ve seen cry and not judged or tried to help. Whether it be the grief they experience, to talking people down from suicide and self harm as best I can, to every relationship and family issue they have, Ive always tried to understand and offer solutions and help. After a while you wonder if you’ll ever even get a sliver of the treatment. It won’t stop me from trying to keep being a good guy though, that’s honestly what makes me happy. There’s something about being a giver who never receives that’s actually kinda nice in its own regard. it helps you form a true view on yourself despite what others tell and think about you. As long as you yourself at the end of the day know you’re doing good and spreading kindness, then it’s easier to be content in life. This video showed me that the world out there and people my age aren’t all as toxic and unforgiving as the ones I’ve met. Honestly made me so happy knowing there’s dudes and chicks still out there that can be understanding!
You take the wrong conclusion from this. Those who left, revealed their true reason for being there, and that is to have some unemotional guard dog and rock they can lean on, that will solve all their problems. They never really wanted a relationship, just a primitive exchange of darwinism.
Cried in front of a girl once. She hugged me, cried with me, and then never talked to me again… So. Probably won’t for a long while.
I know he is half joking with the "disliking vunerable men is hardwired in our brain" but I really do wonder how many of these people (men and women) were being honest. Both to themselves and us. I can only speak for myself but I often feel split in two. On one side what I feel deep down, on the other how it should be for us all to be happy
It's never going to be as it "should" be. Some women won't mind you crying but if I had to guess, most women would be turned off if you cried in front of them. I mean if someone you loved dies, they would probably understand, but I think the issue is how often are you crying and how intense are the triggers.
As long as you are: strong confident, secure in yourself, healthy and constantly striving for more - crying once in a while doesn't matter. They don't want you to cry as it's a sign you're not masculine, be masculine in yourself and they won't need to look for pathetic signs to judge you. I cried in my relationship early on, and it made my girl love me more. Till this day she's says I'm the most masculine person she's dated, not because I have an insecure chip on my shoulder, but because I accept what I am, I stare into the abyss of my shadow self, and I try to make myself better. If she thought me crying was a turn off, she wouldn't even be good enough for me.
@@stillnotchill2560 that's the problem, I think that part deep down that's disliking us men showing weakness is keeping me from showing these emotions at all and can feel that it's really not healthy. I know they are there but they are bottled up like for many of us. I know it'd be perfectly fine to show them, but for some reason I can't even let them out being alone. I wonder if it's because it's hardwired or if there is just genuinely something wrong with me, if I'm projecting disliking myself onto other men or something
@@athmaid that's called emotional suppression my guy, therapists usually try to poke at sensitive thoughts until you can let out and feel the thoughts you've been suppressing.
Everyone wears a mask when a camera is facing you.
I had a pretty good 3 year relationship with a girl until my dad passed away. She was so turned off that 2 weeks later she broke up with me.
Fucking hell man, she sounds heartless. I'm so sorry. You're better off without her though. Women like that are beneath contempt. Stay strong brother.
@@Oliver-b7jyup and very disrespectful
Holy fuck, that is evil.
You dodged a bullet
holy shit good riddance, she was a witch
I'm a 26 year old male, and I've always been an "Easy crier" and a more emotional person, but I started holding my feelings in and held in feelings of a lot of trauma over a span of like 8 years. I finally recently have started opening up to some people in my life about it, and have done a lot of crying and reflecting. I think it's definitely important as a man to be able to be vulnerable, because it shows a level of emotional intelligence. People who truly hold everything in for the sake of looking "manly" end up damaged emotionally. I will say in the aspect of women/potential partners either weaponizing it, or being bothered by it, if they are, that's a red flag. I recently went through something with a girl, who I thought truly cared about me, but proved otherwise. And I didn't cry in front of her, but I did sit down and have a long talk with her about my feelings and even though she was "supportive" to my face, she ended up just ghosting me shortly after. So my first experience of being vulnerable with a potential partner, went pretty poorly.
i can understand u soo much! also 26 and i cried to my ex about 2 years ago. she was amazed because no one ever cried for her, thats what she said. but in the end it also didnt work out but there were other reasons too. but yeah its a crazy game.
hope you learned the lesson that was right there in front your face
@@bilsid I am slowly learning it over time. It’s hard to see things clearly when you are under intense emotional distress. I was in denial and making excuses for the way she treated me for like almost 2 months. Completely beat myself up for it, blamed myself, wondered why I wasn’t good enough. I FINALLY feel like I’m somewhat moving forward. I still do care about her/wish her well. But unfortunately I was a 2nd choice. And she lied to me and said she wanted to still be a part of each others lives, and then over the span of a couple weeks she just distanced herself until it became 0 communication. I think it’s gonna take me awhile to be okay with opening up/making myself vulnerable to another woman. This hurt much worse than other times.
@@colevandooren8368 only woman who loves you unconditionally is your mom. with everyone else they are conditions.
@@bilsid yeah I mean there will always be “conditions” but that doesn’t mean you should go into every new situation with a person expecting the worse. That sounds like you would struggle to actually be your true self. If you have to hide anything from someone, they don’t belong. You shouldn’t have to be anything but yourself in front of people who genuinely care about you.
I had a fiancé who passed away. Half a year later I started dating a girl. About 4 months into the relationship she asked about my fiancé, what was she like, etc. Talking about her made me sad and I started crying. Not blubbering but tears were falling down my face. She was completely repulsed.
I’ll never cry in front of a girl ever again
Women ain't the problem. It's the type of women that you meet that can be a problem or not. So to say "I'll cry infront of a girl ever again" is a bit short-sighted. Just keep your head up and trust me. You will find a girl who you are comfortable crying in front of. Trust.
Cried openly twice in front of my wife in 15 years. In previous relationships, a few times. It’s good to be in touch with yourself emotionally, but passive stoicism during moments when you might cry has a material affect on a woman’s respect toward you. I’ve seen women respond with disgust and venom over stuff like this, especially when I was these peoples’ age. I have a tough buying what any of these women are saying, because experience, and observation of many other relationships, has taught me otherwise.
Yeah man it’s crazy. I’ve never met a woman that said it’s not okay to cry. But every one I’ve ever cried in front of, either was disgusted. Turned off and didn’t like me the same. Or worst case, laughed in my face and insulted me.
Now I know it’s not all women. I haven’t given up or anything, I am who I am. BUT every guy I’ve ever cried in front of, gay or straight was super supportive and just like “naw bro it’s all good, you got this” and small things like that help. I’m solid after that.
It’s crazy that all the women had to do was just say “it’s alright, you got this” and I would have been able to get myself back together.
Remember that they are being filmed and interviewed. They arent going to be candid. He should do this same interview on a weekend night when everyone on campus is tipsy and speaking drunk truthfully.
@@antonybraus325for me its the opposite. I cry infort of dudes they tell me to man up and shit. I cry infront of woman and they confort me.
@@radias2589 lmao welp, just goes to show
Anecdotal evidence is only ever half right, it sucks that the guys around don’t help as much man
We need to bring each other up more like women seem to do for each other
@@antonybraus325 I'd like to point out that both genders can be terrible to each other. Ever work in an office where you're the only guy? Toxic as hell, I would never do that again lol.
My experience is, women say they want a man to be vulnerable but only to the limit in which they are comfortable with it. I've cried in front of my mom and an ex. Both were earth shattering moments for me, and I remember both instances they didnt know what to do or how to comfort me at all, i was comforted from afar like i was a leper or something. I think when a man cries in front of a women depending on the context, it freaks them out, it triggers a fear response. The worst thing a guy can do to a woman is make them uncomfortable, and showing too much emotion or crying is the quickest way to do that.
I dont like to generalize and it goes without saying there are women who are ok with crying and emotion, but I beleive like this video says its intrinsic and can't be helped by some.
There is some truth to it for sure. Things are changing. But some girls really do feel insecure and uncomfortable around a man crying, it is almost like if they think that man who is crying is also angry and could be dangerous, or maybe even intoxicated. I dont know there is this stupid association with when men are showing genuine emotions, they must be drunk and potentially act violently. Anyhow it is irony that as a guy you only cry around girl you trust, and the fact that you cry makes her not trust you anymore. It is ridiculous.
I say is the minority of women who are ok with men crying. Most of them react with shock, fear and in some cases they feel disgusted if is their BF/Husband.
Oh no, feeling slightly uncomfortable is the worst thing they experience?
Boo fucking hoo. There are men who fight and die in third world shitholes and are forgotten. There are men who haven't had a single positive relationship with a human being in their lives. Men commit suicide more than women do.
Face it, women are the problem, and the only way to fix it is to give them consequences for their actions and to get them to admit their wrongdoings in society.
I think it's definitely a learned reaction. Girls learn alongside their boy siblings, friends, classmates, and even by observing strangers that a boy that is crying is often met with negativity and disapproval from his parents or other adults. So I can imagine that the discomfort these women have with a man showing vulnerability is due to feeling like that's the only normal response, and because they haven't had many male figures in their lives show them that crying isn't something to be frowned upon.
I actually think about this a lot when I think of my entire family because everyone treats crying like it's something that should be kept secret, no matter their gender. But it's much more prevalent with the boys and men.
Poor wording. You say "a man doing to a woman..."
It's more about what the women does to the man. She loses all respect and treats them like garbage if a drop of water sneaks out.
I’m 26 yo and recently went through a major breakup for this exact reason, some women will leave you for showing any type of vulnerability, because according to them it shows that you’re a weak individual, that they can’t count on, no matter how good, loving and caring you’ve been to them, the simple fact that you’re an emotional person or an easy crier for some girls out there can and will be a turn off and a deal breaker, which is extremely sad.
Being overly emotional makes you untrustworthy whether man or woman.
@@Tomas-ml9nv who the fuck said anything about being overly emotional tho?
Nah it's not sad it's a red flag. Let em go
Just think of it this way. You have a built system to detect and remove scumbags from your life.
@@Tomas-ml9nv how in the fuck does that make you untrustworthy?
I cried in front of a woman i hold near and dear to me, it only strengthened our bond and I feel a relationship blossoming between us. theres people out there that are awful and treat others like dirt. but there are so many others that are just. beautiful on the inside.
a heart of gold
I cried out of frustration and pain because of her lacking loyalty, reciprocation, and just expressing my feelings/concerns. She said, “stop with the water works, ur literally manipulating me right now”….
😬🏃🏻♂️🚩
I hope she's your ex, bro... She had some problems to fix. I hope she got therapy in time
Had something similar happen to me. I like to talk things out and understand people, fix things yknow? A girl called me a manipulative narcissist. I was "manipulative" because I would mention things that she did that hurt my feelings. I was "narcissistic" because I would only talk about myself when communicating these feelings I had.
She would always decide to shut down when we were "fighting". I put fighting in quotes because I was careful never to raise my voice or place unneeded blame on her because she was with other abusive partners in the past. It was hard to get her to talk about her feelings/problems even though I was essentially begging her to so we could fix things. Instead I found out she instead talked in length about how much of a piece of shit I was, she would straight up lie about things I did and what my intentions were like I didn't explain to her in depth what I was thinking and how I was feeling.
It makes me wonder how exactly her past relationships were "abusive", honestly. That relationship drove me pretty crazy and made me think pretty dark, but I'm better now.
Sorry to trauma dump, but I'm saying this to let people know that there ARE better people out there who will look at you the same way you look at them: like the sun shines out their ass. The stuff I mentioned above is NOT normal and should not be accepted or brushed aside with the idea that "that's just how women (or anyone for that matter) is".
I cried in front of my ex (in the beginning of the relationship). We were in a make or break spot but I was holding in a lot of emotions about a friend I had lost months prior. She got me to open up and I broke like a damn baby. It actually made our relationship last pretty long bc I felt comfort in her and could open up to her after that. I’m not afraid to cry in front of someone as long as that person doesn’t judge me being a man who cries.
she's ur ex
cope
@Menace Go back to doing your homework kiddo
ex tho huh ?
Are you guys still together? In my experience, women will use it against you when a breakup occurs. I've never known it not to happen, and its something guys should consider when they need to open up. Better to open up to a fellow guy than a woman on stuff like that. Women like to think they're soft and cuddly, and that they can envelope us in a blanket of emotional understanding. I've not found that to be the case. Women in general seem to be pretty ignorant of how we men are built, and they just seem to shift with the sands in their opinions of things. One minute its this way, the next its that way. I'm glad it worked for you, though it sounds like you found one of the few that didn't mind it in the moment.
I swear if I’m ever in a group of women whom when 1 mocks their man for crying about something
At first I would be like “oh well I cried for the same reason” and if they say “oh i feel sorry for you” blah blah blah and I’ll be like “no why do u feel sorry for me and not for your man?” He’s crying because he needed you and you’re his partner and his support system that he has. What else are you to him? Pretty much that’s the only comeback I could come up with haha but I will use any comeback
Men are allowed to cry!❤️It’s a human thing not a sign of weakness,
Not gonna lie as an autistic woman I cry a lot and have been called weak before. I feel like I can’t cry in front of anyone these days society is just too judgemental :(
You are awesome😊👍
I remember one time in high school, after school i was waiting to get picked up and i was crying cause i had my heart broken. The girls lax team was waiting outside the stadium to start practice and one of them came over to me and hugged me and sat with me until their coach got there. It honestly might be the nicest thing anyones ever done for me. But it happened after I tried to play cool in front of one of the other girls on the team that saw I was upset, even though the other girl was also nice about it.
Even though women and girls have usually let me be vulnerable i still dont like when anyone sees me crying, men or women
Remember, there’s a stark difference between what women say they’re ok with vs how they actually react to that same behavior
Yeah women never say what they mean
People in general should be mindful of who they're vulnerable in front of.
Yes. They say these things out in public but are completely different creatures behind closed doors. They can cry each and every day but cry in front of her just once. She'll never look at you the same way again.
How would you know that?
@@MH-zo4uiThere's no research papers on the subject buddy. Or most things in life. You gotta infer from life experiences how MOST stuff and people work. That's how.
The fact that this is even a question means the answer is "Yes but also maybe but also no."
I've cried in front of an ex. She viewed me as her rock and seeing that I'm not stoic definitely changed her feelings for me.
I'm guessing that some women want to feel protected and if a guy cries then maybe he would cry in a stressful situation and not be able to provide the protection she wants.
Just a thought.
Sorry I can't defend you in your hypothetical mental illness box lmao, this shit is the dumbest rationale ever, how many times have you had to "defend your woman's honor" like it was a fairy tale? Like men can't be vulnerable EVER because women just make up these defence scenarios in their head? Fuck that dude
Maybe your ex was just wrong tho.
@@Mikael-jt1hkI'm sorry man. I hope u feel better soon
@@Mikael-jt1hkcaveman mentality
@@Mikael-jt1hkyou’re gonna be in a long term relationship one day and you will have done a ton for your significant other. Then life will hit you like a ton of bricks and you’ll break down at some point. If she leaves you for that, will you still feel the same way about crying or being emotional?
This genuinely helps me feel more comfortable with expressing myself. Although I know that it’s a lot more excepted in today’s time for men to be vulnerable, it’s always refreshing to be reminded it’s okay. I still feel like subconsciously I am scared to break down in front of people close to me
Sobbed at my wedding and at the birth of my children. Hardly ever cried in my life before those moments. Expecting another baby girl in a couple weeks and I feel the tears just thinking about seeing her for the first time.
Happiness tears is usually more tolerated than sad tears. Happiness in a wedding and when a child is born is not considered weakness by women.
W father
All of those people were young and likely haven't yet experienced some of the harder spots in life like the joyful frustrations (and occasional heart-wrenching anxiety) of having kids or the death of a loved one. When those things happen, the tears they shed will soften them in ways they won't understand until then. There's soul-cleansing strength in crying like that.
Having kids is tears of beauty, it's a little different when you shed tears from the miracle of Life or God or the beauty of this Universe, compared to crying because you had an unfair day at work. The first is not crying, it is shedding tears. You feel different emotions and do different physical actions than when crying out of sadness.
As a 24 yr old myself. All I know is that I barely know anything, I wish more people my age repeated this mantra. None of us have anything figured out yet.
True, just don't do it in front of your gal.
I can practically cry on command when I think too much about a few deaths that have happend in my family and because of my dogs passing. I am married but still choose to cry alone. When I do cry all I want to do is be alone, I don’t want to be consoled or comforted, I am mentally stable enough to cry and then get back to this thing called life. I have cried a few times in front of her but never for long, she tries to comfort me best she can but like I said, I’m a lonely crier and that’s how I want it
men cry when they are younger then their heart gets so broken that they can hardly feel anything anymore when they are older.
TAKE THIS FOR WHAT IT'S WORTH. Emotional suppression is unhealthy for men, both emotionally and physically. We have known this for many years. So those who compel men to suppress their emotions are killing men. in the Bible, we read that many men have cried, grieved, or mourned. Even Jesus Christ wept. Therefore, if God's only begotten Son cried, then there is no reason that any other man should feel that crying, showing emotion, or being vulnerable, is weak or unmanly. Anyone who says "Grown men and big boys don't cry", obviously doesn't read the Bible, has never experienced extreme joy, and has never experienced heartbreak or sorrow.
As men, we are entitled to our emotions; and have the right to express our feelings. As far as relating to women, here is a special bit of advice. If you are a sensitive, or emotional, man here is how you can keep your woman. PASSIONATELY PERFORM CUNNILINGUS ON HER DAILY (except when she is menstruating). Just watch. She will miraculously find a way to stay with you. Many more women will leave a man who doesn't do cunnilingus (70% of women claim that they would). What's more, 80% of women prefer cunnilingus over intercourse. I believe that the determinant factor is CUNNILINGUS, not CRYING. Please consider what I say.
I cried infront of a friend, who told me about her tough past... she never opened up again. Cause she felt, I was handling her past way too hard. She felt she needed to protect me after that... which I felt was way too judgemental. I feel confused about it... I still cry whenever I want, but fair to say we are no longer friends.
It was judgmental of her to want to protect you from her issues which disturbed you? Is it even a gender thing? Most of us would be cautious if someone cried listening to our issues....its not a regular occurrence from any gender. We'd naturally want to not literally pain them further.
@@ddawg3230 Ok but the thing is. I am a big empath. I do not need protecting... it is me expressing sadness over the situation. I do not need protecting, I can handle it... just would feel wrong to pretend like it does not impact me? Whenever I was little and my sister cried, I cry with her... cause I just can not, not cry and feel same emotions that other person is feeling. I guess if people feel bad about it, I should start hiding my emotions from full extent and pretend Im good. If that makes the other person feel better... Im willing to do so.
And maybe I am weird. When I tell someone something sad about myself and they cry... I feel like they care. Cause me opening up to a person, would mean I trust the person enough to handle it. I feel like it needs mutual trust and understanding. But to give cold shoulder... that means the person has lost the trust. Thats how I felt... she did not trust me anymore.
honestly good for you man, I believe you made the right decision. Who knows how she really felt about it
@@ShanobyKin well then you are definitely unique. It's not really anyone's fault if they hesitate to share with you. You are mistaken if you think no one is feeling empathetic when they don't cry, or that everyone is 'botting up' and being inauthentic every time they manage to not cry during a stressful situation. When someone cries, most empathetic people are thinking, 'what can I do for this person to ease their distress' ...not 'what can I do now to ease my distress that I feel because of them' (pretty much). Beyond a point, crying for each and every situation of stress will only indicate some sort of emotional disregulation. And it's normal for a human to feel protective when another human is literally crying. There are many moments where humans are required to give an assurance of strength, security and support during very challenging times. The best people I think of who do this regularly are nurses in hospitals, who deal with all kinds of patients with a steady and reassuring demeanour. No one thinks they are uncaring because they don't cry with the patient every day. They feel cared for when they work for them and say encouraging things. This doesn't mean the nurses never cry, they do cry and share grief when there is nothing they can do for the patient. It's just that the situations when you can cry along with someone are very specific. At other times, what they need from you is a bunch of other things which they don't get if you make yourself the first priority.
@@ShanobyKinnothing against men crying, but you sound like a crybaby. Have fun crying dude
I cried in front of my fiancée when I lost my job a fortnight before our wedding.... she cancelled the wedding and broke the engagement a year later.
How are you doing bro? Feel lucky that you got rid of a toxic narcissistic woman who could have ruined your life.
fortnite
Bro 😭
Wasn't just the crying in that case. It was the lost job too.
@nobody-special000 Nah, it was the crying. She's from an emotionally underdeveloped family with undiagnosed autism and serious buried mental health issues.... She was raised on brutal stoicism.
Meanwhile, my family is majority ADHD and extremely passionate and emotional...
She couldn't process that level of emotional demonstration.
I think it probably depends on what he’s crying about and how he’s crying. Shedding a single tear over a death in the family or something, vs sobbing because his gf won’t hang out with him on a Tuesday night.
Men cry for men things, adult children cry for childish things. If someone cries for the latter he has probably BPD.