Zones: A map of relationship types to help relieve dating confusion
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- Опубликовано: 25 авг 2024
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"Zones" is a brief outline of what men and women value in each other. Named after the "friend zone," I have expanded "box theory" (and made a few corrections) in order to divide relationship types into "zones."
Both men and women can use "Zones" as a handy guide to understand why their relationships are functioning the way they are, and to make better choices.
For women: If you're not his "keeper," and you can't improve on what he wants from you, he just isn't that into you. Move on, or stay sidelined.
For men: If you're stuck in the "friend zone," you need to learn to be a man. It's not just looks, but fitness, success, power, and personality that make women excited. It's up to you to create that for yourself, or you can't complain.
Both men and women can use the "Zones" map as a quick and easy way to figure out why their relationships work the way they do, find out how to improve them, and either make these improvements happen, or move on if they can't.
I'm a psychology student, I wrote my bachelor's degree thesis about mating strategies, sex role differences, initiation of relationships etc. from an evolutionary psychological perspective, and I have to say that atleast 90% of this videos content can be backed up by scientific data.
Congratulations sir for the amazing summary!🎉
Is your thesis available?
What's the other 10%?
@@danielhuelsman76 bro science, bro
haha that's awesome dude. I'm glad you weren't shamed for it. Academia is becoming very very very one dimensional.
You had to write a thesis for a bachelors degree?? Wtf 😳 📜
I find it amazing how the "Friend" zone and the "Husband" zone are literally right next to one another...no wonder so many guys get confused when they end up as friends but not husbands!
It's even worse if she marries her friend from the friend zone.
Or husbands who get cheated by their wives with bad boys and once the husband discovers them she breaks the relationship with the husband and essentially friendzones the husband.
@@jorgepenaloza6834 There is also the relationships where the man gets cucked but accepts it because he is happy to stay in that friendzone while the wife sleeps around.
@@eliezeretecapthat's a new low, all my brothers seeing this comment, please don't be like that, have some self respect.
Men want sex, championship, and desire. The Friendzone is companionship without sex and desire. The husband zone is companionship and sex, and perhaps a smidge of real desire. The Prince Charming Zone is ridiculously hard to be in and the only place where men would get all 3 of the things they desire. The sad truth is that it is better for most men to push themselves to be stronger in the "bad boy" metrics than the "good boy" metrics because for most men, sex and desire are worth more than companionship, at least until their twilight years.
I'm a 30 year old guy who has been in a reasonable amount of relationships/sitautionships in my time. I've been an avid consumer of dating advice from many sources all over the place in that time, and this is the one SINGLE source that i've seen that flatly lays out what basically EVERY OTHER dating advice source attempts to explain - but usually in a more partial manner. This is great beyond words.
Agreed! This is a really simple and amazing breakdown /reflection/& future reference to be aware of 😅* so glad I found this channel (through a live KillTony stand up tonight)
Same but I'm 36 and I've more just ran through women, not dated so much lol. Hard to get chicks now without going back to the bad boy energy but I'm ready to settle down
@@Obeythemay I'm coming up on thirty in a couple years and I've had sort of the opposite problem lol always seemed to give just the right amount of bad boy energy to the girls I'm not interested in, and not enough to the ones I am
It’s amazing how well he can visually organize it. I feel like a lot of other people have this information figured out and know this, but it’s not a simple thing to explain by any means, especially without major bias.
I have a lot of female family and friends. Everything he says is true. I have shown this to several women who can be trusted. The jaws hit the floor.
This video has basically explained to me that i’m screwed if I dont change myself.
Bars
Sounds about right for most of us guys lol
There’s only up from here my guy. Hit that gym. Find your masculine bliss & Dominate!
9O% of men are screwed if they don't change themselves.
@@wolfsfroth hitting the gym won't do anything for you if you're ugly. don't fool yourself
This is actually genius, I have never seen anyone explain it so perfectly before. Sending this vid to all of my boys
thank you!!! I appreciate the share. still building audience! the even better stuff comes later.
When I was 8 years old, Superman loved Lois Lane and Lois Lane loved Superman. Everything was so easy. You didn't have to be a genius like Wile E. Coyote to understand. Since then, It's all evolved into something shameful and unrecognizable.
@@michaeln.2383The problem is that the people who wrote those scripts for the TV or the movie were people who didn't know how real life works, so they did their best and you trusted them
@@michaeln.2383 I agree. It is the dishonesty that this man doesn’t address. Date a woman to marry who also wants to marry you and who loves you.
All the other getting girl you don’t really like and what not- recipe for being confused, and for women to be confused and used too
As a dating coach for men, I’ve been explaining all of this for a few years now but I have never laid it out so clearly. You have summarised perfectly the situation for men AND women. I will encourage men to watch this video. Great work !
I’m curious, would you make a video about how you discovered all of that, and who you are exactly ?
I will do an introductory video, yes.
I have a very rare combination of traits. I have a top 1% IQ (people hate it when you say this, but oh well, it's true), I believe I have mild undiagnosed autism, which helps separate my conscious awareness from my deep-rooted subconscious drives so that I can observe them and place them under my control, and I have spent an enormous amount of time on self- development including study, mindfulness, fitness, and social skills. I have been able to do this because I am habitually unemployed, which I do not fully understand. I have many skills and no one will pay me for them. I'm broke as death and have been almost all my life despite applying for 6000 jobs.
I also have an extremely rich history of experience with women, especially considering that I am significantly neurodivergent. I've seen everything they do from every angle.
Basically, I have the tools and the experience to "get it" on the rational, emotional, and instinctive levels, and I have had the time to let it all formulate into a map of simple min/max stats that can be operated on.
Much, much more is coming, but only if I get paid! Please support me with a donation or by buying a copy of this chart (or anything else I offer!) which I will have ready for sale ASAP along with a glossary of terms via my linktree (below). I am also a dating (and general personal development) coach, so I am your competition, but I want everyone to have the tools I'm building. But I also need to be paid, and for God's sake, I deserve it. I need to learn to monetize better while also promoting availability of the tools, because they're gonna do a lot of good.
linktr.ee/hoemath
TikTok: hoe_math
cashapp and venmo in bio if you'd like to buy anything.
@@hoe_math thank you for your answer. Well my niche is in French so I don’t really compete with you but anyways there is so much people that need help that dating coaches should multiply. I can see how you got there, please keep up the good work and maybe find someone that can help you organise your business ? There is plenty of great business mentors out there.
@hoe_math I relate to the "habitually unemployed" part, brother, insofar as I have, since 2006 or so, been unable to hold or maintain a "typical" job in the traditional "9-to-5" model and sense.
I do create music and voice act, and such, and I make a little (honestly wouldn't cover a lot, though, if I didn't have assistance from taxpayer-funded social programs...which I wish I dusky need to rely upon, but alas...the private sector would make disability benefits ACTUALLY effective...anyway).
When I am able, I would be willing to send a donation to you. I don't really want or need the merch, just would like to directly donate. I would this moment, if I wasn't broke.
Regardless, I understand this to a degree. It is (or at least seems) virtually impossible for neurodivergent folk (an umbrella under which I also stand) to maintain gainful employment, even of the self-employed, entrepreneurial variety.
Subbed for now, will remind myself to send a donation when I am able. I strive to directly financially support other creators as often as I am able.
@@hoe_math For what it may be worth, I suspect the unemployable aspect comes from how blunt and sure of yourself you are. You know you're intelligent and don't deny it, and are able to recognize that people don't like when you do this, so it's not a stretch. I've been very close to several people who work HR, and they do not care about how good someone is at the job if they (and others) cannot get along well with them. It's almost a universal HR person story that they've had to let an incredibly efficient 10x-er go because they were impossible to get along with.
They'd rather employ an ineffectual dullard who's comfortable to be around than a genius who isn't. You have a sharp energy about you which does not set others at ease (unless you're playing them, I wager, but that's exhausting in the long term). Your skill with women may not translate to the employment sector, and getting experience in this arena is impossible if they won't let you in the door because you don't already have said experience.
I assure you I mean no offense - I imagine you and I could get along very well, but I've also always gotten along exceptionally well with autists (I think I may be one to a very slight degree). I find your knowledge incredibly useful and I'm grateful you're sharing it, but I figure you may be able to find utility in my hunch on this matter as well. Just a hunch, of course.
@@hoe_mathwell as I can see you've got great amount of skills but can't be paix for them, why not learning sales and marketing for you to reach to promote them. Wouldn't this be a great initiative ?
7 years of counseling and working in the sexual health and healthcare field and you pretty much summarized why people have so many issues. You’re doing the lord’s work my friend. You’re like a good balance between Kevin Samuels and Matthew Hussey.
Hussey is a bit cringe really.
Now THIS, this is analysis. You can use this map for every single dating situation you've been in and find the optimal zone to describe your experiences. This isn't red-pill BS, this is an exceptional body of work created by a very observational man. Kudos
Want it or not, believe it or not, some red pill stuff is also true. You probably just don’t like the presentation/tone/word choice that some of the red pill channels use
@@elchucapablas Right on.
Most of it, in fact, is.
It's red pill 💊-a lot of red pill content is about female nature & how not to get used by women...
Btw when I say “red pill BS” I’m talking about the ones who have hijacked the movement, not the ones who are breaking down the nature of a woman. You know, what red pill is truly about
@@Shemzinho redpill actually just means awareness. It isn’t tied to female nature
My guy, this is the most incredible explanation of the difference between how the opposite sexes view each other. Thank you. It clarified why I'm always ending up in the friendzone.
Gotta hit the gym and get your confidence up. Also the smoothness trait is about being friendly to woman without expectations of sex or dating and just not caring if you end up dating or not. And that smoothness only comes with confidence and experience with sleepers and sweepers in most cases
brody that ain't why. you're in the 'friend zone' cuz that girl don't like you like that. it's not cuz you're ''too nice."
@@ca5236Nah cuz if she didn’t like him & he was not “too nice” he’d straight up be in the creep zone.
@@sjappiyah4071
Depends, even this algorithm won't account for the female mind 100% of the time
Seeing all the sections in the female half of this was hilarious 😅 women have such a high set of criteria
This is absolutely fantastic. To summarise what ‘Good’ guy and ‘Bad’ guy means. If you are ‘GOOD’ you provide LOVE. If you are ‘BAD’ you provide POWER. That’s why good alone is not good and bad alone is not bad. Strive to be loving and powerful.
Great comment by guy.
The BAD part also provides arousal. The GOOD part doesn't provide any arousal, only security, that's why it's synonymous with friendzone.
Women want both, so men has to attain both for her to consider you a husband. As contradicting it may seem, thats how they think, which is illogical to a yes or no question lol
Simple and wonderful, though I would say that bad power also means your willing to use it, because a GOOD guy may have power but he NEVER uses it, or feels incredibly bad about doing so and essentially gives power of the other if they use it, atleast to make up for their use of it.
@@Leonhart_93 power is arousal to a woman.
In the chart the Friend Zone/Ick/Creep/Ghost column can actually be thought of as the “No Sex” column; the Husband/Settle/Bad/Mistake column can be thought of as the “Duty Sex” column; and the Prince Charming/Good/Mid/Bad Boy column can be thought of as the “Crazy Wild Sex” column.
that like their keeper sleeper sweeper
No? Women have different types of sex for different reasons that vary from person to person. This is too general
People in secure and loving relationships can and do have good sex. There's a cohort of women who can't have good sex without first being in a loving and secure relationship with a man. They don't all want passionate quickies with a stud. The husband category represents good sex as long as it doesn't downgrade into the settling category.
The main point is the the wall of sexual access is between Ghost/Creep/Ick/FriendZone and Mistake/Bad/Settle/Husband.
Regardless of the kind of sex taking place in the other categories that wall is consistent.
As a ghost, but more oddball than creep... we do get hookups now and again so really we're more like haunted sex machines instead of ghosts... which is still better than being some grade A sucker. Also sex is clouding your judgement... you can be a hopeless romantic, just don't romanticize the hopelessness.
As a wise woman once said: "A man can either love or understand women. Once a man understands women, he is no longer are able to love them again."
Wow! That is true. I didn't know anyone else established that. My motto is, it's me and Batman now. Not as a couple, obvi, as kindred spirits. Batman is smart enough to put bros before hoes and be single. No one privy to his fortune. ANYWAYS I'm saying I'll affirm your statement, sir.
I have always had girl friends, and was raised by 4 women (though I had a present father) and then a 10 year relationship, now, 6 years on, I 1000% agree with that quote. If I could I would stop caring about women 100%.
You can but you have to except that they are humans and love them as such. You can't love them as a princess anymore on a pedestal unless you know how to maintain the mystery in your brain and that requires active fantasies such as putting her in a princess dress and you in a prince charming uniform and taking her on her dream date. But I mainly love them as imperfect humans that need to be looked after or at least advised from time to time on what to do in life.
Wrong. We just saw the chart. That “love” is now graspable and sound like its husband too middle of gold digger / mid mid of chart.
What's interesting about this is how much self-esteem plays a role in shaping what people think they can get and thus what they actually get.
Absolutely. And it also plays a key role in others perception of you, particularly for the “bad boy” persona. Self esteem and confidence entails that you do what you want without worrying about what people are thinking.
@@fisshbone What others think ultimately doesn't matter: you must be happy with yourself. The way to be happy with yourself is to know what's important in life and how this may take shape in your own life, under your unique circumstances. Once you learn this, you grasp that short-term pleasure won't bring you happiness and that pleasure, while sometimes a useful clue for what may make you happy, will not keep you satisfied forever, as a sugary snack won't keep you full as well as a healthy, balanced meal. The sooner you know what's important, the less you waste time that you cannot get back.
so if I've never had any (romantic) relationships ever, what does that say about me?
Depends on how you’ve been pursuing those relationships. Some expect the relationship to come easy or feel that they’re entitled to a relationship. Others are persistent but have trouble learning/adapting from past failures. It’s honestly hard to say and is something you will have to continue to refine as you go through life.
@@sunsetman22it dsnt mean anything, i had someone ask to be in a relationship with me but i just didnt, i dont feel bad about it cuz im not gonna force myself to be in a relationship for the sake of it, thats y a lot of ppl a miserable tbh a lot of ppl rlly just dont like to not be in a relationship
I honestly believe one of the reasons the keeper zone & the husband zone relationships are declining culturally is due to the legal liability perceived in those kind of relationships, high divorce rates etc etc.
100%. Men will say it out loud. They will say "I'm not getting married it's too risky"
Yeah, change the laws. Otherwise, none of this matters.
When you keep squeezibg it out of forever increasing bs standard, what dud you really expected to happen
@@hoe_math It's also just plain expensive, for all parties involved -- not just for either men or women. I include OP's assertion about liability in this, since that can be measured as a cost. We're seeing a macro trend in individuals voting en masse with their dollars and their feet to opt for cheaper, lower-risk alternatives. Asian society is NOT by any means a perfect analogue, but it may serve as a warning sign for us. There is tremendous social/family pressure for young people to tick ALL the risk-aversion boxes to extremes of security. Amalgamating many "dating-towards-marriage" expectations or stereotypes, they irrationally push for too many competing/conflicting standards that are exhausting or impossible in combination:
A woman has to maintain webdrama/model levels of maintenance and beauty, never divorced, no kids, and under 30. And give up her career after marrying. If her company passes over her for promotions and raises after she gets married b/c she's no longer on a career track (because "women will have kids") or a primary/sole income earner (her husband surely is now), then that increases the pressure on women to find even better catches for husbands b/c they have to offset the risk to their own ability to make a living.
A man has to have his own house, good car (or equivalent economic status indicator), and income preferably 3-5x above median wages.
Not everyone there believes this, of course -- Asia is a big freaking place with billions of individuals and social/familial/economic subcultures. And necessarily the majority will fail to achieve these requirements (b/c, if the obvious needs to be explained, the majority of people cannot ALL earn 3-5x above median wage). However, popular, irrational, and internally inconsistent BELIEF in these standards gives it a life of its own.
And because of these PERCEPTIONS of what's "necessary" to get married, Japan, Korea, and China are all seeing critically low levels of marriage and children, with a lot of hubbub in media about their imminent demographic collapse in the coming decades (or arguably already ongoing, depending on the metrics you emphasize).
But those extreme examples show where we might hypothetically be headed with our own ongoing trends in economic/societal pressure. And perception plays a HUGE role for us as well.
In the US, different sources (including the USDA for its various cost-of-living metrics) indicate raising a kid costs $15k-30k per year (depending on region, household income, etc). When *I* was a kid, cost to raise a kid to age 18 was just under $200k, when household income was about $25k. These days, it's closer to $300k, when household income is about $60k. Admittedly, certain industries and expense categories for household spending have chronically outstripped general inflation for decades (higher education, healthcare), which then compete against having kids.
This is because the Government has asserted itself as the De Facto "Head of the Household" , with Judges forcibly seizing and redistributing assets on arbitrary standards which are determined by who has a better Lawyer (i.e more affiliated with the Judge). This structure of Law is more akin to Communism than Capitalism
a good saying is that ’you attract who you are’ which I’ve personally found it be very real in Korea, when I went clubbing alot I got the handshake girls / sleepers, because thats who I was too. After tuning that down and going to experience the culture, arts, history, go on temple tours, other clubs like learning a language, etc, I met the absolute sweetest, considerate and beautiful woman ever and have been dating my definetly ’one and only’ for long enough to meet her parents and brother
if you want better, be better
There's nothing inherently better about "art" and "culture". You'll usually find the liberal feminists in those places and they are not keepers. They're downright intolerable.
If you want REAL keepers, go to Catholic churches and find the truly devout God loving/fearing women.
@@bridgeboo3031 the problem is the men use the ones they don’t really like and then wonder they can’t find what they want…
You only have one life why use people you don’t really like? The man gets bitter over the time and then looking for his ‘dream girl’ is a recipe for disaster
As someone who just finished my degree in communication studies, you hit the nail on the head with this. As others have mentioned, there is a plethora of research out there that adheres heavily to your model, and it would be a great social experiment to actually test.
There is no practical way to scientifically measure these variables. Communications is not a real science.
We all know this stuff from intuition and experience. Not everything requires a scientific explanation.
@@dathunderman4 There are plenty of ways to scientifically measure this though? Focus groups, surveys, questionnaires, and the theorys that framework them can prove many different social phenomena. Research exists for a reason, and you can ask the same group of people the same question to determine commonalities.
And why is it called "Social Science" if it isn't a science? You prove just as much watching and researching people compared to mixing chemicals in a lab, just restructured a bit.
@@dathunderman4 Much of this can easily be quantified and indeed has been in psychology and social science.
"Different women value different things differently." I love it.
Yeah, just a minor disclaimer that this map doesn't apply in many cases, lol
@@SirWiggletonIt applies perfectly for me, I'm a man though.
@@balls5262 A lot of these types of videos will paint men as rational in their desires, so of course a lot of guys are going to feel like it applies to them. But then they'll make women look irrational with this bad boy stuff. And further try to emphasize the differences by giving different names to the same thing between genders (e.g. cabinet vs. galaxy)
@@SirWiggleton Yeah, I guess you're right
@@SirWiggletonyess i was interested in seeing how it applies to my relationship but i’m a lesbian lol
Just as a PSA for the guys: Being a 'bad boy' is completely subjective and depends on demographics like age, culture and personal history. For example: If an attractive 23 yr old American woman had more than 10+ relationships, her standards of 'bad boy' will be much more difficult to achieve than a sexually naïve 18 year old woman, a 30+ year old woman who wants stability, or even a woman of particular faith / collectivist society where attractiveness is a plus rather than a deal breaker. This extreme emphasis on particularity is predominantly an individualistic country issue and should not sway you to drastically change who you are just to find someone to be compatible with.
@glitchysquid1137 Bro stop yappin 😭
Another layer of complication for women, typical
Welp have fun with your future 30 cats and box wine
Ok hole
Ehh, I doubt there is any culture or person for that matter where a man being able to be dominant, commanding respect and being able to influence people isn't seen as attractive. How a man would achieve this obviously differs by culture or sub-culture, but the pricinple is the same.
To be honest I wish someone explained this to me just before I got to middle school. I would of understood why things happened the way they did and made more informed decisions. This just explains everything. Perception is everything and understanding why someone sees you in a certain way and knowing there isn't anything you can do about it gives you freedom to walk away.
This is basically just a long form way to say all men need to start whimsymaxxing.
When you embrace the power of the whimsy and evoke the child like wonder of life, you become independent of the world and its expectations of you. You become inspired, therefore your potential as a man increases exponentially. Reaching (or at least working toward) your potential independently, increases confidence which is a prerequisite to the other elements of the dark triad.
How does one become smooth, powerful or dominant without confidence? It’s impossible. Without it you are simply fakemaxxing.
To become a greater man, you must tap into your inner child. Find what inspires you.
You sound like a goofball.
@@GUITARTIME2024 he's kind of describing LEVELS...
It's called mysticism and growing in contemplative prayer, classical education, and being real with yourself. But doing something for getting women is inherently cursed. It gives off tainted energy.
Why try to understand girls, when you can watch a 24 minute documentary to educate yourself instead without leaving the house
dawg this guy makes good videos but if thats ur take, thats the reason why you dont understand girls. for your own good go outside and join a club or community and get platonic social interactions with women
@@oro8083it's a joke bro it's not that deep
@@oro8083 jeez man 😂
I mean it's a joke, but this video is serious
Dude they are fucking awful out there, you want me to go outside and talk to people who make others want to isolate online?
if touching grass was a better alternative you wouldn't have to tell people to do it
How the hell did you think of this, man? The amount of research condensed in this little graphic organizer deserve a pat on the back. You deserve a like.
Most successful men knew this intuitively
@@Aden_IIIwhich is a small percentage, because if every man was “successful” then there wouldn’t be anyone “unsuccessful” and none of this would be understood by anyone - because it wouldn’t exist. However, in order for anyone to be successful, by definition there has to be a lot of people that are “unsuccessful”.
Your comment was like adding a drop of gasoline to an almost overflowing tank. Thank you for the contribution…………..
I couldn't NOT think of it. I HAVE TO say these things. I see them, and I see people NOT SEEING them, and it drives me absolutely insane. EVERYONE MUST SEE
@@NoOneToNoOne89pppppppppp
@@hoe_mathbro speaking in Greg
Heffly💀
As someone who flits between the "friend zone" and "husband zone," and flirts with adjacent zones, this is a uniquely spot-on analysis of how to assess your interpersonal interactions 👏
in order to go to the husband zone, become more attractive facially (Botox for skin, facial ajustments, and looksmaxing) and physically just go to the gym and fill out your frame to the point that you look like a jacked homosapian, also remember to take care of your skin and cleanliness
I haven't decided how I feel about spending most of my relationship life in the Lust zone.
What makes this so godamn funny, is just how accurate it is.
The math is definitely Mathing !We need this in school as well as on the news this needs to be addressed across all platforms right next to our economic crisis. 😅
Wait till you realize it's highly correlated to our economic conditions😢
It’s crazy that this is how bad dating has got😂😂😂 we kinda suck
First we need to put comprehensive sex ed classes in school curriculum
Its not mathing cause you will just get used and abused if you give her investment etc etc if you are average looking
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 that math is goin crazy
I'm an interface design student and I gotta say I'm highly impressed by this visualisation. I really think you got something here, because it does not only look good and is easy to understand, it makes a lot of sense. What you did is not easy. You visualised something complex into an eays understandable visualisation. I also feel like this has potential to become something more. Either an app, a data visualisation article or a book even. The only thing you miss is scientific proof behind what you're saying and it is out there I can tell you that
It is out there. He talked about a study where the way women’s brain’s activated when shown pictures of unattractive men was in a way where the men didn’t even register as in existence. Essentially unattractive men are literal ghosts or not people as he calls it to women.
I like how you think
Well said.
Sadly this kind of knowledge will never get scientific proof because there are no more ethics or desire for knowledge in Science, just political correctness for money.
Yeah, he smoked this
This guy is a genius honestly it’s like a perfect example of how I feel in literally every single way
nobody asked you to do this public service-but you did it anyway. thanks, man. this is masterful, and i can tell you’ve spent years analyzing the world around you.
Someone give this man a standing ovation for this commentary and showing us this simplistic visual aid. He basically boiled down todays modern dating scenario in 23 minutes and 21 seconds flat. Something that all these dating "gurus" can't even put together when they are asked the simplest of questions. Bravo Sir. Bravo.
Dating gurus only want your money. And the irony is that these gurus are not even married or in successful relationships themselves. How many single & miserable women out there are giving dating advices to other women? A ton. Why? Well this is something that HM didn't cover - women on women relationships. Another strategy to get to the top guy. Trick the more young and more attractive women into misery, so it will increase your chances of getting the top dude. I bet you heard tons of stories of how some BFF advised for a divorce only to get that same man for herself.
@@Rosispergia Correct. Almost all dating gurus are nothing but a big grift and yes I have heard those stories. Some BFF convinces her friend to divorce her man because of XYZ reasons but all in all said man was actual an upstanding guy. Single bitter women keep other women single. If @hoe_math did a video of the thought process of a women on women relationship and how those have even higher failure rates, now that would be highly interesting!
@@mrtennessee1o1 Oh, and something else to be added. I'm a Eastern European woman and I can tell you that not all the passport bros will be happy getting these ladies. It's not a guarantee. The majority would be in a relationship if you have a good amount of money; sure they will cook, clean and take care of you, but the money factor is still there. And money does not equal love. In the Czech Republic there is a trend among the ladies where they "catch" a foreigner, get pregnant, ask for alimony. Rinse and repeat. Seen this on foreigner groups on FB. Take care!
Bravo, Sir. Bravo.
Chapeau. I take my hat off and I bow in front of you, Sir.
@@RosispergiaHeard and read about what you described. As a snipped man in his 40s, I look forward to a woman in another country trying it with me.
You've obviously spent a lot of time analysing people. This is a very good framework. I would be interested in seeing more of this content. You could consider writing a book with such quality content.
*Plot-twist:* He's probably a _sigma-male_ - _I know that term gets thrown around like left-over rancid cookies on Monday morning after the Christmas staff party!_
Though males of that type plot ordinary mortals like that on a daily base, completely casually and subconsciously almost unavoidably.
Those quite different kind of breeds are usually also exceptionally creative (both in terms of being linguistically and artistically gifted), widely read (thus, aptly literate) and often basically enable art through wordplay by mixing it with their quick-witted but very dry sense of humour and thus enabling puns (most people only get when heard for the second to third time), to commonly create artistic lingo while speaking/writing in a metaphorical language.
… which also would explain his snarky but precise remarks every know and then, as well as his drawn vivid imagery he creates in no time out of thin air. That is typical for them.
I very much agree with this. It would be helpful for both men and women who are open to being honest with themselves.
@@Smartcom5 This is so random, but what would you call women who are solely attracted to sigma-male personality types rather than alpha male types (or any of the others for that matter)? Also, is there a female counterpart to a sigma or is that not a thing?
@@mandyads What are those called who are solely attracted to sigma-males? That's easy, they're called a _›woman‹_ … I'm not even kidding here though!
Since a sigma is pretty much a man's archetype and the most pure male in and of itself (stoicism, masculinity, self-reliance et cetera), virtually *every* woman is attracted to them.
Those women who are mostly or even solely attracted to sigmas might be very well just dwelling in their femininity and despise bad-boys and their often inhuman mode of behaviour as a whole - Those women are just way too bright to fall for a bad-boy's conspicuous acting.
Bad-boys are still just _boys_ with their childish behaviour having borrowed the stoicism-part from a sigma, while deploying _actual _*_carelessness_*_ as a sigma's stoicism in disguise_ in bad faith for ulterior motives alone, p!p!ng girls left, right and centre just to compensate for their fragile ego - AS they've pretty much nothing else to show for. It's called the ›Dark triad‹ for a reason. Simply put, a bad-boy is just the male counterpart of a bad b!tch, (which *not by chance* also doubles down on excessive prom!scu!ty to compensate for their massive lack of self-esteem and -worth. Both of them have very low self-esteem and feel having no greater worth as a person - Both derive they artificially inflated self-worth by 'success' from the other gender.
Though a _healthy_ bit of stoicism is actually *needed* for a woman to fully unfold their emotionality through complete expression in their emotion-driven feminine energy - They need that sturdy rock in stormy weather at which they can splash and release onto in all their emotionality and fully dwell within their femininity. A woman needs that manly rock-solid stoicism and masculine lightheartedness of a sigma from her man, that very shoulder she really can rely upon and trust to withstand everything she may throw at him, to feel at ease and express femininity in the first place.
That's why women sh!t-test their man constantly and create drama to test a man's patience and endurance, if he really would reflect that rock in stormy times she fully can rely on.
Though while other male-types counter these subconscious _test of endurance_ or forbearance as somewhat tox!c, consider it annoying and can't help but step aside in noble hope she might calm down (Hint: That's the wrong way of doing, for obvious reasons!), it might only raises some amused and beloved eye-brows on a sigma's face - *A sigma knows all that inside-out and takes it exactly for what it is:* _Nothing but a silent scream for love from her of asking being manly put in her place, in a lovely and first and foremost masculine manner._
With a sigma, it always ends up that his woman eventually folds, caves into his arms and comes back running for cozy snuggle-time while having that mousy snoot and lovely expression of abashedness in her eyes for even trying that futile test of stress onto him in the first place. To be fair, for a sigma it's always a little bit of amusement to have her trying to tear down his walls of patience, which have just _„Insuperability, baby!“_ written all over it in bold, capital letters. And with time, she quickly gets exhausted and knows she can truly rely on him, no matter what.
So while all other male-types get exhausted by those tests of endurance, a woman is charging an open door on a sigma with that. He's not only always a few steps ahead but tenderly plays with it like waving that omnipresent red rag to her bull(ying) and joyfully teases her with her own drama, which tears herself down even quicker (to come back running asking for forgiveness).
*Hint:* There are no women, but girls alone. _Only fathers and beloved daughters._ Just Daddy and his little girl - She's subconsciously asking for being put in her place throughout life. ♥
@@mandyads Forgot to mention the alpha and if there's a female counterpart to a sigma;
Well, a alpha loves to be the centre of attention and display his assertiveness through overt aggression, but they always fold under any greater pressure and especially when times get really rough - That's when the sigma steps up to the plate to do the job and holding out for the time being, just to vanish into the crowd as soon as the job is done, everything is in order and back to normal, shoving the alpha-male into the so-called 'position of leadership' theses alphas oh so love to see themselves in afterwards.
Meanwhile the sigma smiles from afar about the perfect illusion he put the alphas back into, just to take another journey of a lone wolf again and actually enjoy it.
The noise of crowds are scornful for a sigma.
Ironically enough, a sigma is the only natural born leader of all male types, yet he outright refuses to take charge for anything even a second longer then he really needs to, to give the things the right spin again. Also, a sigma naturally draws attention from women, is irresistible for them, yet he doesn't even needs any woman to feel validated or complete (much like any other type of men, especially in this day and age) - He only has a woman by his side for true *_genuine_*_ companionship_ and to teach, help grow and cherish her love.
The sigma is a walking paradox; There's a really good video about it here on YT: ruclips.net/video/ozMZXkFPg4E/видео.html
Unfortunately, there is no female counterpart to a male sigma - Just as angels are male, all of them. There's not a single female angel.
THANK YOU. FINALLY someone pointing out the difference between Lust based and love based "relationships". Everything I've seen so far, from intervies to reddit stories seem to have been lust based stories. Of course, you get to hear the drama and such more often for clicks and likes, so you see the bad ones more often. But no one pointed that our before so cleanly. THANK YOU MY MAN!!!!!!! 💪💪💪💪💪
You honestly deserve a Nobel Peace Prize for this
This is hands down the best informational video I’ve watched this year.
Hot and crazy matrix>
It fails in what most of us want tho. Being toxic wont get you a healthy loving relationship, and youll never find true love if you dont believe in it.
@@baltulielkungsgunarsmiezis9714I don’t think its claiming to deliver on getting a healthy relationship or prescribing behavior, its more like a map of the buttons and levers that get pushed and what they lead to
@@baltulielkungsgunarsmiezis9714if you’re short and ugly there’s no such thing as true love
You are a treasure bro, 30 years on this Earth, several situationships, 3 long term relationships, 1 of whom cheated on me and I can affirm every thing you say to be a million percent true. Keep it up, would appreciate a video on the "mascultinity and looks" side of the equation and how men can improve that. From what I understood doing something simple like just working out and getting a tattoo or two can boost you significantly in the "bad boy" score.
CORRECT. Just being strong and having signs of disobedience can make you more of a bad boy.
He's wrong about bad boy stuff that isn't looks, think about it, the only criminals(which are more likely to have "bad boy traits")who get any gfs are all handsome or tall, Jeremy Meeks only got any attention due to hus Chad looks, no women would send him money if he looked like average joe.
And no, tattoos also don't help, tons of criminals have those, do you see women go to prison to find potential LT/ST partners?
Working out on the other hand definitely can help but remember there's a limit, too much muscle won't help you and can even be detrimental.
Did you google henry kissinger? Men without looks but with power can often get top women @@danielsurvivor1372
@@danielsurvivor1372You have to remember that the “bad boy” traits aren’t necessarily the same for EVERY woman, and that each woman places a different amount of emphasis on any one trait. Some women can consider a dude with a long but well kept beard a “bad boy” trait cause it reminds them of those badass biker gang dudes or something. Some women might not care about physical “bad boy” traits at all but only care about how dominant the guy is mentally, how willing he is to set boundaries and not waver from them, etc. You must overlay this chart over each specific woman you are dealing with and figure out what things she personally values and then figure out what you can personally do (that’s within reason) to increase your score on the bad boy and good guy levels.
@@danielsurvivor1372 no, you are wrong. Look at guy from Andrew Tate crew who got arrested for "loverboy method". That guy is clearly a criminal aka actually bad boy and woman fall for him, fall in love. And he looks like average Joe.
I like how neutral and non-judgemental you were.
It's deeply hilarious how both obvious and honest this is once it's broken down 😂 I never thought every short- and long term relationship I've had could be summed up on a single sheet of paper, but you did it. Before you even started the explanation, as soon as I saw it all laid out and I read each zone, it seemed so intuitive, like putting on glasses and seeing the world with a clarity you knew existed but couldn't find.
This explains entire chunks of my life and relieved tension I couldn't figure out how to undo. I can't guarantee I won't use this knowledge for evil, but thank you nonetheless.
"like putting on glasses and seeing the world with a clarity you knew existed but couldn't find." Yo what a beautiful fucking way to put it
Men are morally obligated to be evil. It's what makes us more attractive to women.
What are your evil schemes?
@@danielhuelsman76 Tinder scammer vibes intensifies.
@@GreyDeathVaccine I was thinking more like Dick Dastardly twirling his mustache.
Dude, you’ve got it. You speak clearly , have an illustration and don’t stutter. You’ve got a gem on your hands.
i have never been so singularly engaged in a youtube video ever in my life, this was so incredibly informative
Absolutely perfect explanation of male/female dynamics. I’ve been trying very hard to max out my bad boy traits prior to maxing out my good traits and it seems to work well. At the moment I have a loving girlfriend but my last relationship I was probably in the settling zone. The difference is huge.
At first I mistook this as a joke, but that is actually a really solid illustration of the real relationship landscape. Well done!
Sameeee😂
yeah, i feel like buying it as well
I've spent my whole life trying to maximize my good guy axis, and I always wondered why so many of the girls I liked did like me, but only as a friend. Now EVERYTHING makes sense. Thank you.
EDIT: these replies are crazy. I did NOT say I don't want to be nice. I literally NEVER said that. Read the comment properly before replying please.
Also, small update: it worked.
Get a motorcycle and start seriously hitting the gym. Maybe a tattoo, I’m not about that but the other two are enough to get me to at least husband zone for some girls.
Back to the bench press and squat rack haha
Have you considered telling them how you felt?
@@jenkathefridge3933 Women only care about "how they feel" when it comes to relationships. The way you feel in irrelevant.
@@jenkathefridge3933Dawg if you are in the friendzone already confessing your feelings most of the time falls on deaths door.
From my experience it just makes things worse and at best you could just get yourself into a shortterm relationship.
This just confirms what we've always known. They are children in adult bodies, ruled by their emotions.
All I know is for men to win , you have to have en edge on everything, style , personality, masculinity half bad boys half good person .. that will land you in the husband zone nicely .. this analysis is above any psychological book I have read when it come to know women … Nitzche is rollin in this grave right now
Growing up in church purity culture, I was gaslit into maximizing the good guy axis and minimizing the bad boy axis. Then I wondered why I was always friend zoned. Thank you for clearing this up. Definitely sick and tired of everyone's rampant sexual dishonesty, just gonna abstain. True love is dead when it's so mappable like this. But this map is so true it's scary.
real
True love is dead honestly
@JohnDoe-xj1pf right same!! Then when it was hyperconditional as an adult (and seeing hookup culture spread like wildfire) it makes you wonder how in the world we threw away the type of love that was portrayed in those movies. But my guess is starting to become that that love never existed at all. Figured those stories had to be modeled / based on something, but it turns out that maybe they weren't.
Nothing wrong with maxing out the good guy side. You have to understand that the reason women are more attracted to the "bad boy" side is because of the socially engineered decay of society - do you really want to change the good things about yourself to cater to the lowest common denominator so you're not lonely? Seriously something to think about.
@@EnFuego79 Yeah that's a good point... I should clarify, my phrasing doesn't pertain to my regrets about following Christ instead of tail overall, but it pertains to my regrets about holding a reductionist expectation that there was nothing else to romance when it did arise... in other words, it's not the fact that there are 'rules' or that it 'works a certain way', but the fact that I was lied to about what those rules were. I'm "fine" being lonely as in, have always chosen singleness instead of dating bad options, however, there is a degree of willingness to commit necessary evils that is necessary when becoming attractive to women that the church conveniently leaves out and forgets to mention (and actively discourages you from). So then the people who are just generally willing to submit to evil in general are the only ones who do well with women
You forgot this:
When you become the friend-zoned guy, this takes care of her good-guy needs and suddenly the bad boy has everything she's looking for. This is why you see nice guys complaining about girls going for bad boys, that's their personal experience and it goes against everything they believed about women.
I even had a girl tell me that she was shopping around for a guy to friend zone again because it's more emotionally difficult for her to be promiscuous without one.
Had a female friend who used to contact me for emotional support whenever she would find herself single. Then when I got a girlfriend I sensed that she was annoyed by it. Basically I was a plan b or someone to settle down with if all things failed.
Jesus christ. Terrible days to have eyes.
@@planetary-rendez-vous a wake up call to my college years. at least i learned this 5 years after graduating (and one cheater) later 🤷♂
This is one particular variety of what causes men to give up on women.
@@KrimsonStormpain
So that's why when they ask "Where are all the husbands"
We say " Check your friendzone"
They are literally next to each other
As I'm already married and a father, I will DEFINITELLY give this to my kids as part of their "relationship education". I wish I saw this when I was a teenager, it would save me from spending time in that damned "friend zone". I was too nice and good, romantic gentleman thinking all women were ladies who liked roses and their hand kissed, until the point when I said "fuck it" and allowed my inner bad boy to take over. I've put myself, my dignity, self-respect first, and automagically things started changing...
"Automagically" Fun word!
As a woman myself I think that women that choose to be with the Bad Boy guy instead of the Prince Charming/Husband zone guy have a lot of personal work to do and a lot of trauma to heal. I’m definitely staying with the Prince Charming/Husband zone guy rather than with a Bad Boy guy who is not willing to give me the emotional support I need to keep improving myself and my life. I’ll definitely won’t be wasting my time in a relationship that is not going to last. Great video btw
I, me, myself, my, etc...
Self improvement, healing, support, etc...
Run Prince Charming, run!!
@@teaCupkk I'm so sorry, I'm not understanding what you want to say with that, could you explain yourself please?
@@surinbe The sickeningly frequent references to yourself, and the psycho-babble all point to you being self-absorbed. A narcissist. It's striking.
@@teaCupkk Knowing your self worth and what your needs are is not narcissist. Last time I checked wanting someone loyal and committed is not narcissistic.
@@Carolina-rd3gh However, being overly concerned with such intangibles as your self worth, your needs, etc.. makes you suspect. And when everything that comes out of your mouth is "Me, me, me, me.." - that's a dead giveaway.
The things I learned about myself watching this…. I’m speechless. Thank you for putting this into words
THANK YOU FOR LEARNING good god it is nice to finally see the weight come off people's backs
your videos are so good im going to recreate the drawing you drawn and study it for myself to improve @@hoe_math
Crazy how you lacked self awareness
This makes perfect sense from my biological standpoint, and that women would be attracted to the bad boy versus the good guy. The bad boy will go out and kill the bear to protect the tribe. The bad boy will go out and kill the Buffalo, etc. the bad boy is protection. Something she cannot do herself. The good guy is how she wants to be treated so you had to be willing to go out and commit crime to protect her or provide for her, but be nice to her.
I had a similar conversation with my sister remarking about her ex-husband . I told her that I thought her husband was an asshole. She said “he is but not to me..” and that was my first hint that I have been doing it wrong all this time
Thank you sir for summarizing 1000s of years of relationships mystery. You are the sir of sirs, and should be knighted for your wizdom!
“And here I drew a cabinet. Which is the male version of the galaxy” I don’t why that was funny to me. 😂
😮
I went to therapy for months trying to understand this about myself and a past relationship. And you did it in 20 mins. Thank you !
This man has been doing the research for years
There was a video from coach eo about saying that sometimes you gotta be able to pretend to be the badboy sometimes whille secretly being prince charming, in order to maintain that long term relationship, he was saying roleplay in the bedroom is actually a great time to bring out this bad boy ,to satisfy that craving the woman may have,really intelligent the way he explained it
This is a wonderful evolution of Ladder Theory, where as "the second ladder" is your Bad Boy axis. Brilliant to see it displayed like this on the same matrix. Well done!
Dude, I think you should get some kind of academic award for this.... This is so well crafted and on point.
I suggest "Honorary PhD" by some university (social science, or so).
(You may read this sarcastic - or not, if you want.)
He should be awarded Obama’s Nobel Peace Prize
@@saitougin7210 i think u mean hoenorary?
I stumbled onto this video by accident. As a woman who is not in a relationship nor dating, I found this sooo interesting but it made me so thankful to be single. Thank you for this awesome video!
Same! Honestly I dont really know why people bother. There are some pretty good sex toys out there, and for connectedness and meaning: go volunteer!
Why does this discourage you from dating?
@@danielhuelsman76Sometimes people are not honest or clear about what they are looking for in a partner.
@@BrendaLopez-ki6hl I think some of that is people often feel punished for being honest, so they're taught to lie.
@@danielhuelsman76 This is true, but it takes courage to put all your cards on the table. I prefer honesty, at least that way we both know what we are getting into.
I remember my father when I was a teen, told me not to get hickies, because other gírls will see you as taken and stay away.
Oh how wrong he was, it’s like being seen as taken was a challenge to other gírls that liked you. I literally would have gírls fight over me right in front of me. I learned that being attractive and a badboy with a lot of femałe attention, got me even more female attention. I did play into the badboy thing by working out, being confident, dressing well and hanging around with other guys that were seen as not to be messed with. I literally dated a new female a week for about two years before I settled down. The vast majority would sleep with me or come very close within 2 days and some on day 1 (Keep in mind, I’m talking about teenz in HS, not college gírls).
Now today. I’m ugly and time hasn’t been kind. So I know through experience how important looks are.
P.S. One of the negative things about having way too many options is you can’t pick just one to settle down with. Then if you’re unfortunate to get ugly, you won’t have an options to settle down with. The good news is, likely you won’t have the same drastic looks change, that I did.
Best of luck gentlemen!
LOL a new female a week for two years? Exaggerate much?
@@willshad It’s not actually, what do you think the top tier guys get? That’s absolutely accurate, I didn’t say I slept with each, many, but not every one. Some were just kissing and going out.
200 IQ analysis
100 IQ comment
Both seem generous.
All my life being what I thought society and women wanted. I worked hard, kept out of trouble, was polite, showered women with praise and flowers, and this is what was really going on all the time. SMH. I wish I had seen this 30 years ago.
RIP
yeah the bluepill is a hell if a drug. I'm glad the red/blackpill is a thing now.
First mistake was not questioning everything forever and always. You can be a fool now and then, but don't ever be a sucker, not even to your own delusions.
No you didn’t. Please. You did not shower women with praise and flowers. You went on a couple dates that didn’t work out and paid the bill ($50-100 tops). And when it didn’t work out because you were shooting above your pay grade ran to the internet to whine about it.
@@TuffLuv1984 Oh mighty oracle! Tell us! Rain upon us your infinite wisdom!
What are next week's lotto numbers?
This is without a doubt a remarkable improvement over the Crazy/Hot Matrix.
What keeps things getting more complex over the years is that everyone is looking for the ideal relationship but, while the're doing it, they're making it harder for others doing the same. The fact that this search for the "right one" today envolves so much experimentation and consideratons on externals is what makes this search self defeating for many.
Hot and crazy matrix is napkin math for sleepers. This is relationship broad strokes
hot crazy matrix was meant as a joke, this one is meant to be serious
This legend took the Hot-Crazy scale and amped it up to 11.
Your ability to do critical analysis and simplify it into an easily format to disseminate en mass is master to PhD level. Kudos.
Your work is incredible. Side note: It's actually a major advantage for men to have female friends who are honest. Especially attractive ones. You get to learn these truths through them and they can help you level up. Ask them for honest feedback on your style and your dating app profile.. they'll prob help you with that and it could be night and day difference for you on the dating apps/just walking around in public. Major confidence boost too
Yep, best way to get a new woman is to be seen with another one. Comes to that "pre-approval" thing women do so much, and their innate will to compete with each other.
This actually makes being in the "friendzone" with women you have no sexual interest in advantageous still. Doesn't matter, if she's still standing by your side, it'll gain you points with other women - so long as they don't realise you've never slept together. The important thing here is to give off the impression that you have, without saying as much, even if you haven't. Easy to do with a friend-zoner that fully trusts you.
You just need to make other women think the reason your just friends is because you're not interested in anything more with her, not the other way around. Remember if she thinks you're being disloyal, then the new woman'll be more attracted to you because that will give you bad-boy points.
It works, it really does.
This is also why it's really in your best interests to remain friends with your exs, so long as you don't continue to overinvest. Then you don't even need to pretend you've slept with them. You've spent time investing in them in the past, may aswell use them as a resource and still get something from it.
*EDIT:* Side-note, this advice only applies to men. If you are a woman looking for your ideal man, the opposite is true and is best to keep as few male contacts as possible.
It's a blessing and a curse
You get good info, and more access... but you also gonna hear stories that will scar you relationshipwise. The next time you are getting sweet on some young pretty thing... and you hear them say the word "backstage"... you are going to have her pretty little face superimposed on every nasty, debasing, sinful story you've ever heard from your attractive female friends.
You can tell yourself, "She's one of the good ones" all you want, but the more attractive women you meet, the less you will ever be able to trust an attractive woman.
That's why there's so many cuck$ out there married to dime-bags. The dimes have been having depraved thrilling sex since they were 14, and the cuck$ are totally into it.These dimes can't be with most men because those men are either too proud or too insecure to be with a woman with a "Dear Penthouse" past... but barring the very religious, they ALL have stories that will make you blush!
I sh!t you not, MOST dimebags are in the mile high club. MOST of them... and like 90% of them WILL BE by the time they're 30... even though they are not rich. Most men ABSOLUTELY CANNOT HANDLE those stories coming from the woman he loves. They cannot handle the fact that they are going to be giving her the least thrilling sex of her life, and they CERTAINLY can't handle having their woman going around telling people about it.
The only people that dimebags can really marry are older men, and kinkier men. Someone with who doesn't make them feel shame because at the end of the day, women are repulsed by accountability.
@@KotCR The fact that all what you said is true and works out is very sad and very depressing. I've seen it with my own eyes how women chase the bad boys, how they love (lust?) for the disloyal.
The disaster is that even very conservative and very religious and pious women fall for the bad guys and end up cheating on their very loyal husbands.
@@dott8775 This IS the curse of the secular, God-less society. Men and women brought this all unto themselves. GENESIS 3, 1- 20 applies.
Agree but it requires men to be realistic and not get themselves friendzoned by lusting after the attractive female friend.
I'm pretty sure men with older sisters do a lot better on dating because they have more interactions with females in a platonic way and it's someone who can be more honest.
This was absolutely fascinating. You seem like a very intuitive and creative person. Also, I love the graph and how well animated it was
This is years of my own personal study compressed and extrapolated at the same time I have to thank you
This is the best analysis summary of dating relationships between men and women I've seen. Very entertaining.
(Edit: this is a rant on why the 'nice guy' strategy is a waste of time.) If you're in the friendzone constantly, consider this: All the emotional support you're offering can be neatly wrapped up by a "thanks for listening". By expecting more than a thanks (as the "Nice guy" does..), you're basically expecting a customer to pay $50 for a $2 item - i.e. that will never ever translate to a woman wanting to fuck you for being supportive. You need to have intrinsic value to others first. Just something worthwhile about you. Then just make your intentions clear. If the woman wants what you're able to offer as a partner, then sex is usually something they'll trade for that. I know it sounds crude to make it sound so transactional but if your only merit is something you give away freely, why would anyone commit to you?
If you are in a relationship - you do definitely need to communicate and support your partner of course, just stop thinking that this is an effective way to get laid.
How would you describe an intrinsic value in the dating market? Hobbies, finances, looks?
BARS!!!
So caring for her even genuinely= 2 cents support.
It sounds transactionzl cause it completely is. The secobd you re into "show me you re worth it" you show you only about what he bring and provide. Don t cry after for being treated the same.
This is why I stopped offering my time and listening ability to people, and women in particular. While on its own its not very valuable as you put it, when its scare (and finding someone who actually listens and devotes time is scarce and difficult to find) poeple appreciate it way more when you actually lend it out, especially if they know you rarely lend it out.
@@unlimited971A hard truth that we all know in our subconscious to be true but many won't accept in the conscious is that ALL romantic relationships are conditional.
There is one more layer to this you missed out. Effects with time.
What you said is right for picking the guy to be in a relationship with or to marry(for a woman).
Then comes another layer. Even if the guy is in the "Husband zone" or "Prince charming" zone and hence she is happy in the relationship/marriage, there are two other factors that come to influence with time.
1st one : Growth. More important, the guy has to show growth in all the mentioned fields which are more important to her ( Earn more with time, get higher position in job, more mentally tough as situations come, etc). As, being stagnant in these makes the brain feel maybe he's not that great with time.
2nd one: Relativity. Since human brains assess value relatively, if the couple moves into a social circle where every other guy is doing better in many departments than her boyfriend, she feels she can do better for herself in picking a partner.
So these two factors can make the guy go from Prince charming/Husband material to falling out of love with time.
This also applies to guys, but it's more in the physical attractiveness of their female partner and increases in their annoyance over time.
But high value women and men stay and try to change their husband material/keeper partner instead of cheating or breaking up.
This also works for friendzone, many people have ended up marrying people who were previously in the friendzone. In the end, most do this is nonsense and it just varies from person to person
He didn't say things couldn't change. He did, in fact, mention working on the things you can change like dress yourself better or workout. And just to go with your "falling out of love theme", men and women can really let themselves go after they link up. But at any given time, this still always applies.
It’s most likely that any person will be in a lot of quadrants at different times from another person’s perspective. You can 100% move around, and I thought that was kind of implied and even explained
Thank you for this. These are things I've been trying to tell people for years but have never been able to fully flesh out in an easy to understand way. This is it. There is so much more to it but this is the basic break down right here. Thank you.
The good news is that I haven't made any serious mistakes with women. The bad news is, that the search for true love is over, because it doesn't exist.
It does exist but it's not worth searching for. You'd be more successful trying to find diamonds by digging with a plastic shovel in your garden. Love is pure luck, I did the math and there is around 5000 people for you in the entire world, considering you meet aprox. 25 000 women in your entire lifetime the chance of finding love is obscure. There's 0.005 women you will meet that will be the love of your life, that means it would take 500 lifetimes, or 50 000 years for you to find 1, ONE, love of your life, strictly mathematically speaking.
The contradiction between bad boys being the highest short-term value proposition solved.
Avoiding negative judgement and labels is a huge part of female psychology.
Prince charming comes with judgement and expectations, while the bad boy is pure fun.
Bad boys will still judge and demean though. I think its more of a lack of responsibility and chaos
it's fun and great untill your life becomes dangerous. Of course it's same for men, why there are so much online hoes who are simped for ? And most men would hate to be their real bf. Thing is they are a promise of more adventure.
No. Prince charming is the guy she WANTS to be seen with
Bad boy can be more fun because he doesn't need emotional responsabilty, its not an actual, serious relationship. There.
@@uhnborhn5032demand in a sexy and exciting way tho whereas prince charming is demand in the socially correct way, political correct way. Where bad boy demand is to be my toy. That’s fun
U can solve that by demand in a way a bad boy would. Put some leash on her , be a man with real boundaries, not a wimp who would let her do whatever she want and allow her to disrespect u however she like
@@jamessan3404 Men simp for women constantly. In both sexual and non-sexual contexts. Have you noticed how gynocentric society is?
This is actually so genius. We all know this subconsciously but to see it all laid out so plainly?
Thank you so much. I think this will save me a lot of confusion and heartbreak.
"I would die for you" axis vs "i would kill for you" axis
As a bisexual man, this seems pretty accurate lol
Expected this to be silly, it’s honestly the best explanation of modern relationships I’ve ever heard. I’m impressed.
Dude far more people need to hear this, both men and women. Like seriously this would solve so many issues in dating for people if they just understood each other.
Women wouldn’t listen but yes, every man needs to be taught this starting from the age of 13
I think people understand eachother more than they pretend to. The problem is, too many are too self absorbed to care.
@@IRefuseToUseThisStupidFeature It isnt that simple in my opinion. Look it is like losing weight for example. Like everyone understands it is good for you, as you say people understand each other. However, actually losing weight people dont understand it really why they should do it enough to make them do it. There is a difference between understanding something and truly understanding it. Like if two people understood perfectly what their action in the present lead to in the future, so much so that they could see the happiness or the pain of the future so clearly they could feel it, then there would be no issue in acting. But really we cannot do that so we have to take a leap of faith and do small actions we know will lead to good.
The first point you are making I agree on, the second point not. For people could say the exact same for men and women that both are too self absorbed and that is why the dating market looks like it does. But really it isnt as simple as that. Making such a comment dispenses with reflection and further gives no solution. Thus it cannot be the right answer. If the solution to the problem cannot be found in the problem, then it is the wrong problem.
That doesnt mean I know what the problem is, but the problem has one characteristic which is that it generates self absorbed people, but the solution isnt to deal with self absorbing characters, but the thing that creates them and sustains them. And that can be a problem on many levels, and if you actually deep dive into the problem you will see it is nested and tangled with other problems both up and down in abstractions. But if you choose the right abstraction that people want to change and that is actually changeable, then you can solve all those problems in one sweep. That isnt easy, if it was easy it would already have been done. But if you find that, it is equivalent to finding the truth or a new physics law, a human law. Soemthing about humans that cannot be changed so you have to change the environment. For look really if you took a person from 1000 years ago and placed them in todays society, it is highly likely they would be a drug addict, alchohol addict, porn addict, whore, man child, lazy, hopeless, depressed, you name it. So the problem isnt really us but the environment, however the environment wont change until we change. So it still comes down to us. Really if men were better, the dating market wouldnt be this way. IF women were better the dating market wouldnt be this way. But it is and it isnt improving. Which means the environment is pushing them in this direction. So you need to create an environment that easier aligns them with their true desires and an environment all want to partake in so that seemingly over 1 year the whole dating market would change, just like internet changed the world.
News flash most women already know it they just chose not to look at or think about it. I have pointed out the hypocrisy to some I have dated before and the response is always one of 2 answers: shut up! Or f**k you! Signalling they know about it and have no intention whatsoever of fixing it. 😂😂😂 Then I usually say I love you anyways. Now what are you going to do to make it up to me? 😈😂😎
This is some of the most helpful content I have seen on this platform, maybe even on the entire internet. Thank you for your work
How about the categories:
1. Cream her = keeper
2. Dreamer = sleeper
3. Screamer = sweeper
In my experience, the "good guy" who lacks all "bad boy" is actually an unhealthy man who is overlooking some uncomfortable truths about himself. You gotta have self-awareness.
as a "good guy" who lacks all "bad boy", thats true i can confirm
can you explain what would that uncomfortable truths be?
Yeah, explain us
@@niedarle That being nice can often be people-pleasing (or manipulation) instead of actual kindness, for instance.
Very true, this is actually a very good point
What I love about your videos, and what separates you from a lot of the intel bull, is that you realise girls and guys are about as vain as each other. We’re both apes, with often disappointingly flawed/self-centered lizard brains… And not a whole lot of it is conscious or something that can be helped.
Lotta truth in this one, that a whole bunch of guys really need to hear. Keep it up!
It's not even about similarity or who is better or worse. It's just about what the actual mistakes are. If you call out mistakes everyone appreciates it
@@hoe_mathOr get defensive 🤷♂️
@@hoe_math
True... well, at least most people do. 👍🏾
Specific tangent: The self-centeredness is extremely accurate-I even find myself feeling disappointed with others and how everything must always be about them. Then I realize I’m doing the same thing and so is everyone else! Even my comment is just from my angle alone; Everyone’s experiences and words are from the lens of their views and outlook specifically. I dunno, I’m just rambling on but it’s kinda silly to me, everything we do is like trying to look PAST someone else in front of you, so you can better see yourself in the mirror. It’s all about us, guys! Us, us, us!!
Your pessimism fails you. Neither men nor women are vain, and good culture can absolutely fix anyone even considering looking at dating like what hes described.
Should be: Keep-hers, Sleep-hers, and Sweep-hers
If a man can stand up to her in a reasonable manner, she knows subconsciously that he can stand up in a fitting manner to other men. Not only that, but he has the horsepower to LEAD. And if he can lead HER, he can probably lead other women. Then suddenly he is, insofar as that first one goes, a catch.
I've begun applying this map to female artists' songs and it's proving scarily accurate at explaining their thinking patterns. Taylor Swift's "Blank Space" came on this evening and I immediately visualized this map:
"Oh my God, look at that face" (high in Looks)
"You look like my next mistake" (the good kind of "Mistake", i.e. a Bad Boy)
"New money, suit and tie" (not just high in Looks, but Masculinity, Presentablility and Investment potential too - he's proving to be more than the Ideal ST)
"Rumors fly, and I know you heard about me" (our first hint that she has a poor Personality and history of Other Men, and is either a Sleeper or Sweeper)
"I can make the bad guys good for a weekend" (high Presentability + Investment potential bumps him up from a Bad Boy to a Good situationship in her eyes)
"So it's gonna be forever, or it's gonna go down in flames" (she wants to escalate beyond a situationship, even)
"Got a long list of ex-lovers, they'll tell you I'm insane" (she's a confirmed Sweeper)
"Cause you know I love the players" (speaks to HM's point about Bad Boys being the Ideal ST)
"You're the King, baby I'm your Queen" (she sees him as Prince Charming and wants to be his Keeper)
"Screaming, crying, perfect storms ... I'm a nightmare dressed like a daydream" (she's a Sweeper trying to present as a Keeper)
I wouldn't mind seeing some shorts where HM plays a song and traces his pen over the zones that correspond with the lyrics.
LMFAO....I listen to this song every time I run, about six times a week. I don't know why I listen to it, I believe it to be the crescendo affect. Tomorrow's run going to be interesting though,. Thanks!
once you know what women are attracted to, you realize that pretty much all songs made by women talk about the same thing, hot cold, bad boy that attracts them vs nice guy who has stability and would make a good husband, but doesn't attract them
complicated by Avril Lavigne, hot n cold by Katy Perry
This is a really thoughtful diagnostic on that songs lyrics. Good work, sir.
@@jackpackage287 Nothing wrong with that. When I go for walks / runs, I typically listen to songs where the singers are lamenting over some Chad and imagine I'm him LOL. I radiate confidence, stand up straight, and my gait becomes a swagger when I do, and women inevitably notice.
The real key, for any guys that are desperately looking for "the secret", is to simply focus on yourself and developing yourself as a man. You cant fake life experience and growth, you have to earn it. Trying to apply psychology to the situation is half the battle, but it comes off like fake muscles under a tight fitting shirt if you just look at what is "attractive" and try to emmulate that. When youre at a point where you have it you wont care about any of this stuff because youll be too busy making your own life what you want it to be. If you cant be bothered to build yourself up then youre going to be single because no woman wants a lazy man with flacid potential. However, In my experience, none of what this guy says is off target by a degree.
It never began for flacidcels
the real key is YOU ALREADY WON and any problems are you are over thinking it!
Yes, Yes. Couldn't agree more. Thank you.
That's a good way to put it. No one wants a lazy man with flacid potential. Half of the problem is men focusing on "getting the girl" and investing 90-100% into her.
Which means they are not investing enough into themselves. Which takes away from the total amount you can invest in the girl. Which makes you appear lazy and a waste of potential.
Don't be a guy who invests 100% of your $100. Be a guy who invests 50% of $1000.
But the guy who just ‘focuses on himself’ will not necessarily develop the bad boy side of the spectrum outside of building muscle. If he finds himself not getting the results he wants with women in the first place it casts a bit of doubt on his facial beauty. Fitness could improve his face because of body fat but then what? You do have to learn to play the field sooner or later or you’ll end up in the friend zone or husband zone (and probably fluctuating on the border between them) when you do start looking for a woman.
Good Guy = Beta Bux
Bad Boy = Chad
*Moral of the story:* Just be Chad
Women are just like cats. They do not respect you until you name them after Chinese food menu items. Effectively.
The first thing we should all understand about these objective principles in dating like "The Cabinet/Galaxy" or Looks or Personality is that all of these factors have different levels of importance to each unique person.
I mean looks arent gonna matter as much to a blind person versus someone who can see.
Even a blind woman can determine if her man is tall and in shape.
I think the "other men" area is also the reason why "body count" is such a big topic lately. It's not just present attention but past as well.
There's truth in that, but I think time is a factor, like if a girl slept with 5 guys, you get vastly different reactions from the different timespans of a week, a month, a year, and a decade.
@@danielhuelsman76 true, but also the higher the count, the less likely a relationship will work long term, so there's a level of consistency too. And if it's been a long time since a hoe phase, they were still likely younger and hotter before you came along. Humbling doesn't just come after experience, but real loss.
@@joshpisawesome True.
@@joshpisawesomeguys that obsess over body count stay in the boxes down low on the map, my dude
@@photina262 obsess is an exaggeration, and body count plays to certain moral values. In moral psychology, disgust and purity play a role. Relationships are also about meaning and significance. High body count has an inverse relationship to them. Romantic values also hold sex as a gift to give to a loved one. That meaning disintegrates in the situation of a high body count. Rarity, sentimentality, novelty/newness also warrants higher prices for items. It just plays to how humans generally value anything.
Honestly this is more even handed and realistic than I thought it would be, pretty accurate to my lived experience at the least
Cabinet vs Galaxy is a brilliant analogy
The advice for women is actually pretty solid. The amount of women that chase guys that aren’t into them is actually awwful.
I think a perfect fictional example of maxing out on masculine bad boy traits while also being low in looks, is Tony Soprano. If you’ve ever seen The Sopranos, you know what I mean. That guy got all kinds of GORGEOUS women throwing themselves at him, and he was a fat Italian man with a seriously receding hairline in his 40’s-50’s.
I always wondered how he did it. When you said everything you said about masculine bad boy traits, it clicked. He encapsulates all of that.
yes bingo
You’re taking about a movie character plus the women on my wanted him for his money and statues. Those are not the type of women you want.
@@ilikepancakes2368 I didn’t say those are the women I want. And a lot of them didn’t want him for his money. I’ve seen the whole show and several women didn’t even get money out of him, they just found him irresistible. I know it is fiction, but I’m just saying it’s a perfect example of what Hoe Math described. (And the Sopranos probably has the most authentic portrayal of humans of any show ever.)
@@king_supreme1102 it's a fictional show.......
What about 'prince'?
This is the most comprehensive explanation of how dating and relationships work that mesa has ever seen
lmao
didnt read your name or look at your icon.. got to mesa and was like... pssh who do you think you are jar ja.... oh
@@cole6396 ohsa yes
It’s crazy how accurate this is. I know for myself, I am commonly described as a very nice guy. I am pretty attractive when it comes to my facial features, but I can stand to lose a few pounds. I also am not in the best financial place in life. In other words, I have very little when it comes to bad guys traits and a lot more when it comes to good guy traits. I can tell you the most successful i have been with women was during a darker period of my life when I was far more of a bad boy and was in more shape or during the pandemic when we were getting all that aid and I bought my own car. Even the latter only gave me a relationship that wasn’t even great. This video is inspiring me to get back to the gym, get back into fighting, do more to stand on my own two feet, and don’t hesitate to do the things to give me a bit more power in life. It’s not actually necessarily a bad thing to be more masculine or look good. It just means you are doing the right things to get power. I’m a hopeless romantic, but if I want to have a chance at having that fairytale romance, I gotta start acting like a prince charming
I also think its not just "having everything in common with her" (the galaxy) I think a huge role actually plays "Simmilar values on life" like wishing for things to be done the right way always, or thinking its bad to waste something, or wanting to live life a certain way and having certain philosophy.
I guess it's also about certain wishes in a certain time, like women have wishes during period and pregnancy. Same in daily life but they're not as sophisticated as then.
good take
And the preferences switch moment by moment with no real repeating pattern
well, that's why he called it the galaxy. he said it could mean anything for any girl.
The galaxy is hilarious xD
As a guy who finds the idea of anything other than a keeper repulsive, I feel a little more assured that the chart isn't all necessarily part of everyone's spectrum. Because I want nothing to do with the ones who'd lean to the lower side of the chart. Be as it may, this helps me to think about and evaluate it in more concrete terms, great stuff.
Repulsive huh.
Okey...
@@ramonalexferreira6191 An excellent addition to the debate, thank you for your insight.
I feel the same way, I found the video very insightful into some situations I've had with women in my life.
I found a girl in church I thought was cute and timid, had no other men in her life and had a few hobbies and skills that fascinated me a little. But she was from divorced parents and so I rightly thought her unsuitable for a keeper. Then as time went on, unbeknownst to me, she started sleeping around in multiple clandestine situationships. She became both more confident and broken, which for some reason felt attractive to me, until I figured her out and she became a sweeper to me.
Her looks improved a little because I told her to grow her hair long, but her personality became ugly and there were both guys she slept with and other guys she dragged along in friendzone. I was, to her, probably in husband zone, friend zone, settling, gold digging and creep during different times. Our so-called friendship lasted from early 2014 to late 2018. I never slept with her, but that possibility did intrigue me during the final phase of our acquaintance.
If you want to keep a girl that you like you should be able to satisfy her, which is difficult to do if you've never had a relationship before. You need to engage in and learn how to manage relationships.
This is literally the best break down I’ve ever seen and I’ve watched a lot of stuff like this.
Wowser. This was absolutely amazing. You know? I'm lucky I found my one but looking at past relationships I can 100% see what happened and why they failed based on this graph alone.
As someone who's never been in a relationship before, this is helpful.
You going to be in relationships now?
Yup.. It rly was helpful to finally know the reason why I'm being a ghost in front of woman and now before death, I atleast could be a mistake or creep
That is right, time to work out, dress nicely and commit some crimes to be able to get some bitches
You will learn this is not applicable to all women as you start dating. However, if you date on Tinder, bars/clubs, etc (hookup culture) you'll find its applicable to almost 100% of the women you find.
Yeah, now I know the best I can be is a bad/mistake. It's too much of a headache to deal with these creatures.