I didn’t accept my daughter when she came out…but I want her back now! | Reddit Stories
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r/BestofRedditorUpdates - Will my daughter ever forgive me?
r/AITA - AITAH for telling my daughter that she can't go to America
r/BoomersBeingFools - Boomer father: “Don’t come to Christmas, don’t come to Thanksgiving, I don’t want you in my home. I don’t want you in my family. I don’t have FREAKS in my family.”
Note: stories are often abbreviated, find the story at the top of the description
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OKOP okay op okay storytime ok storytime
You can forgive someone and still want zero relationship. Forgiving someone and reconnecting are not the same.
THIS RIGHT HERE
The whole "she makes posts about me that aren't true" and "she's seeking attention" just triggered me. It reminded me so much of someone in my life who was more angry and upset about me telling people about what they did to me instead of upset by what they did.
She was right about that part apparently though. If the daughter repeatedly claims to be disowned, whereas OP just hasn't done that, she is simply milking for support.
Being hurt and not owing forgiveness and reconnecting isn't the same thing as outright lying about some objective truth.
You can ask for forgiveness. However, you are not owed forgiveness.
FYI the mother in the first story hasnt told us what exactly she said or did to her daughter at all. For a child to tell their mother not to contact them, something VERY BAD has to happen. Kids naturally love their parents and even stick to parents who treat them badly many a time. A comment on the Reddit post claims that the daughter is "playing" victim, but the only one "playing" is OP (the mom) imo. Her daughter won't talk to her because of what she has done.
OP's word choices, show she hasn't really changed and still doesn't accept it. "Life choices" for example.
She describes her daught as her life choices like she doesn't choose to be gay she just easy mother took too long to realise being homophobic to your child is not the move and blames her religion. Feel bad for her daughter.
@@PandoraBear357 but they ARE life choices. I for example didn't chose to be straight, but I definitely chose to marry my wife. It's not a primal urge I was following. It was love and free will.
LGBTQ+ are not some subhumans who can't control their life. You can't choose your sexuality. But you can definitely choose what you do with it.
While I totally think that gay marriage is a good thing, and while I've changed my view on adoption by gay couples decades ago (having been cautious at first, but come to the confusion that love is all a child needs to grow up fine), I still very much believe that it's a choice to go ahead with it. I don't want to believe in a deterministic world where no one has agency ...
@brag0001 it's not a choice the way bigoted people say it. They don't mean it in the way you're trying to intimate. It's a right. They have a human right the same way as straight people to pursue a relationship and have a family if they choose to with whoever they choosr even if homophobic people think they should "choose" not to ever do so. That's what the implications usually are when people like her mother say "choices." They think the other person's choices are not valid and should be abandoned for the "right" choices purely based on the bigot's own thoughts and feelings. You're also purposely ignoring the fact that very conservative religions have and still do subject lgbtq+ people to conversion therapy on the basis that their sexual orientation is a "choice".
@@PandoraBear357 it's the way OP in the story was using it. She specifically talked about the marriage and the girlfriend, both of which are actual choices.
I agree that it's the correct legislation to allow gay relationships. But that doesn't make those any less of a choice than my marriage.
And it's very important to acknowledge that it is. Because while imo all kinds of consensual adult relationships have a right to exist, there are also sexual orientations which can never expect the same. Pedophiles for example must abstain for their entire life to ever live their sexuality. So society definitely can, and must, demand from some groups to never act on their sexuality.
In that sense OP is right that it's a choice, even though I don't agree with her on her daughter being morally wrong.
And to be honest: you all are being as bad as OP. She didn't chose to become a Catholic either. It was most likely forced onto her from a very very young age such that it has become an integral part of her identity. It's as much ingrained into her as is our sexuality. Yet somehow no one is granting her any of the acceptance you all demand for yourself. That's pretty hypocritical ...
As a 24 year old lesbian whose parents are JWs and HIGHLY against the queer community, it hurts when you say "I love you, BUT I hate this part that is so intrinsically and undeniably you" I can't change that part of me. As my parent you only need to say "I love you". Its such a painful experience. I can NEVER bring my partners to them.
And also, it’s not a choice! It also should not be compared to going to _prison!_
Not yelling at you, OP is just so frustrating!
I used to have a friendly JW couple knocking on my door and we had conversations. One day they showed me videos for children on their website. A story about a girl coming home from school and showing her mum her drawing about her family and telling her friend had two mums. The JW mum then said that God does not accept those mums in to heaven. I said: in my opinion God made us the way we are and he accepts us the way we are. I also said: so according to you, I will not be allowed in to Heaven because I don't consider gay people ill, I think they have the right to love who they want. It must be hard not to be accepted for who you are, especially by your own parents. I hope you have or find a loving partner that will make your heart complete.
@secret3957 oh my goodness thank you so much. Reading that last bit made me smile 🥹🥹
@@sharyebethancourt3660 that part was arguing in bad faith. She was trying to come up with something she considered much worse. She didn't equate the two. That's what you all did. I've said the same to my kids to assure them of my unconditional love when they did some stupid minor mistake as toddlers. I certainly wasn't equating them dropping their cup with being a criminal. That's simply a stupid interpretation of what was being said ...
What she did say was bad enough on its own. Because she basically said that being gay was morally wrong in her eyes. Hate her for what she actually said instead of making up stupid shit ...
"I'm sorry she feels that way" so she is not actually sorry for anything she did..
Actual narcissist rhetoric.
Oh no, the consequences of my actions.
Tbh it seems like the mom has done more than she is saying she did. If she really wants a relationship go seek education and therapy and actually embrace what they tell her not just someone who rebounds her own ideas. Otherwise expect her to never want to talk again
The daughter keeps saying she was DISOWNED. So either the mom is lying and just regretting everything, or the daughter went no contact and is lying and saying she was disowned and has a disinterested mother for attention. I'm more likely to believe mom actually DISOWNED her in the heat of the moment and has probably said much more painful things than not approving her sxl preferences. Screams conversion camp type of mom. What if last time she tried to forgive her mom, she got sent to a 'church' camp, and mom is posting like this in her favor to turn people against her?? I don't like that the daughter says disowned and the mother's story is she basically cut contact
I had the same thoughts . But I was also wondering if it’s a difference of perception. If that makes sense. Like me and you can both hear someone say the same 3 sentences but we can intake the meaning of those words differently and we are going to do that based on our life that we’ve lived before hearing those words AND I think it also matters who the person is too and how well you know them. A person can use their words to say something to you but what they said isn’t necessarily what they are meaning to say. Goodness I hope that I’m making sense. I apologize if I don’t I often have a lot to say. My head is always full of thoughts but unfortunately I don’t always know the best ways to put the thoughts into words that make sense to other people. Lol
Either way most definitely Mom could be lying like a rug it’s also possible that when the Mom told the daughter that she’s not going to except her sexual preference she was also rejecting her daughter which could have fault the same to the daughter as being disowned by someone who is supposed to love her unconditionally. Which is something don’t understand. There is absolutely NOTHING that my daughter or my nephews and nieces could do that would cause me to disown or not accept them. I will always be one of their of all of their top supporters is them. The only one thing that could possibly cause me to distance myself from one of them would be if they maliciously and purposely hurt one of their siblings or cousins. Which is something they would never do. All of our kids are so close and most of them are so close in age. Four of them are 8 years old and 2 of them are 5 years old. Ones 9 and 6 and My daughter just turned 4 years old. Even the older kids are 16,14,14,and 12. Turns out my siblings like to have kids all around the same time including on my husband side of the family. In fact my siblings kids and mine are great friends with my husband siblings kids too.
@@Raraking4796 Being honest I don't think it's easily misinterpreted. She was trying to have her daughter, and a hypocritical church which will not work. She loves her and wanted to hide her from the church so she could have both. Also said a straight church lady will NEVER understand a not straight person. They can never look at them without bias, and also have no perception of the hurt certain words can cause. I also will not understand bc neither of my parents ever talked down to me about it. But I feel like both mother and daughter are taking digs at eachother. There's no way to even turn some one desperately trying to be in your life into disowning tho. She HAD to have said something to the amount of "The church won't let me have a gay daughter" and then went to church, which would be disowning and dismissive which is terrible. Gay kids don't just cut their moms off for an off handed "I don't really agree with it but I love you" so it leads me to believe it was much worse than mom was saying. Imagine how strongly you have to feel to completely leave home and not even talk to your SIBLINGS. Now either side could be lying but I feel like that poor girl has been deeply traumatized by her entire family tbh. I feel badly for her, but still I just noticed a strange thing between both stories so it's something to trigger people to considered if mom is as innocent as she's making herself sound.
@@KimiSunshine for sure I totally agree and I think we are trying to say the same thing but in different words mostly cause I don’t always know how to say stuff. Lol
I definitely don’t think the Mom is innocent she likely said a large amount of hurtful things that he daughter internalized before she even took the chance of coming out to her Mom. I do have a lot of questions for both of them because it’s not a situation I’ve ever been in but I’ve seen enough stuff on the internet that perception is a wild thing so in a lot of cases the Mom was likely saying hateful things about gay people maybe just watching the news or maybe even to her kids back before she knew her daughter was gay if that makes sense. If your life style already pushes back on what “ the average person from your area does” I do feel like in a multi child house hold there is often a kid who pushes back or is more against the gran though the reasons and various reasons for this can always be different.
My husband was the only one in his family who smoked weed as a teen and it scared the shit out of his Mom and her husband at the time because for them weed was a gateway drug into trying and getting hooked on other things like meth and other drugs. One ended up in prison and my husband Mom had to struggle to get clean and on her feet to get her kids back and so when my husband was a teen they buttheads a lot because they were out here trying to save my husband from a future similar to their past but my husband didn’t want to do meth he just liked weed cause it’s not a gateway drug for everyone. He’s older now and they’ve learned to better communicate each other perspective. The human brain is a tricky one for sure and even though my example is a very different situation for sure hopefully it makes sense about the difference I’m trying to explain. I think in the story the Mom started out probably cold and closed off and unaccepting. She spent years pushing her daughter away maybe without even realizing it so when her daughter grew up the daughter became closed off to the mother. Almost like a weird role swap. The Mom spent years being closed off to who her daughter was that she taught her how to freeze her Mom out so when she walked away she had no regrets. I do feel like there had to be years of some shit to make her stop talking to her mom and siblings but also some people take shit for so long that they reach a point and simply won’t take no shit from anyone anymore. But I do definitely agree with you for sure I just have a lot of questions but I also feel like some of them might be far more personal than the average person would ask.
@@Raraking4796 Definitely think we're thinking along the same track. I have a rule where if some one doesn't provide any positive to my life, I drop them without a word. A positive can be as simple as an enjoyable chat, or a friendly smile. I think people should think more about how mentally and emotionally exhausting it could be to deal with some one like the mom all the time. You hit a big nerve if you talk bad about a partner the child values more than you too. I hope the girl is jist living her best, happiest life possible and has cut the negatives out.
In fact the mother is lying. She says she cannot accept her child for who she is… that means disowning even if she is not aware of it. The way she talks about it, it is as if being gay was something her daughter was doing, not who she is.
Oh dear lord, this is the episode where I called in, I’m gonna cringe so hard at my voice and speech impediment 💀💀💀💀
We love and accept everyone in the little sillies! Now hush 🤫😊
Don’t talk badly about yourself!!
Everyone in the little sillies is welcomed, loved, and accepted!!❤❤
Oh god my voice was so shaky I was so nervous but at least the story about my lovely dad is immortalised here ❤
Talk nicer about yourself, buddy! No bullying, even yourself! ♥
You were fine! It’s all in your head don’t worry❤❤
Story 1, shes lying so much and if i can tell then its really worst than we can imagine. She is a narcissist.
109% this She's exaggerating about the daughter's FB posts when most likely she's only going to the people of FB for help like OP is going to reddit and I think she doesn't understand that hating what your daughter is and everything about her relationship like why would she want her family around someone who openly hates them and would probably try to preach homophobic nonsense to their grandchildren.
Story 1: OP is not doing this to reconnect with her daughter. She is doing it to make herself feel better. I would also bet that the daughter is not making posts about her, but instead making posts about her new family without OP in it. Example posting things with "with people who support me" or along those lines. OP also said earlier on "I am sorry that she feels that way..." she is blaming her daughter for what OP herself did to daughter. If OP was actually sorry she would "I am sorry for making her feel/think that" OP just regrets what she did because now her image is getting distorted and no longer viewed as a "perfect catholic mom" I am a lesbian as well, but my parents support me. However, my grandparents on both sides do not. My dad disowned his family because of how they treated me. My maternal grandmother has gotten better, and loves my cousin and husband. Really the only issue now is she asks if I have a boyfriend instead of girlfriend.
She said you can love some even if you don't agree with their life choices. Her daughter isn't choosing to be gay but is and the mother turned her back on her. I feel bad for her daughter.
Calling someone’s sexuality ‘a life choice’ or ‘ lifestyle ‘ is automatically 🚩!
Update if I was the daughter I would post PUBLICLY that I disowned my homophobia mother!
Anyone who thinks being gay is a choice isn't going to change
16:21 oooo so her forgiveness isnt for her daughter its only for her so she can dye feeling better about HERSELF 😅
Right! Like her response to the first commenter saying "I feel the same way as if she were to make any choice I don't agree with. I will love her unconditionally even if I don't agree with it"
She's still not accepting of her daughter being a lesbian. She just wants her daughter to be in her life for the sake of her own peace of mind.
OP, saying 'eventhough I don't support/agree with your views, I still love you' IS a hurtful statement. Thank how much that statement would hurt if she said that you with regard to your Christianity. It would as equally disrespectful and dismissive of who you are at your core. Your words hurt who your daughter is at her core. However, you are trying to make it right now and trying to learn to change your views. She isn't making any effort to repair your relationship right now but the LGBTQ community is just like Christianity in the sense that they too are all about loving people for who they are and forgiveness. If you both embrace that part of your communities and learn to communicate better. You can heal your relationship.
Yes, but people need time to change and learn. She would have changed quicker, would have learnt quicker if she was the part of her daughter's life. Maybe a cultural thing, but I think you cannot expect people with old fashioned beliefs to change by the flick of a finger. Strictly based on the post, it can be that OP is lying, but jist because someone is LGBTQ+ doesn't mean they are saints. Maybe she really didn't give time to her mother to learn, and experiences.
@kitti2089 I agree. Change takes time. I don't think either of them is putting in the effort to mending the relationship.
I've recently went no contact with several family members and distanced myself from the rest.
It's not an easy decision. Only thing is, they make it easier.
"I love my daughter but don't agree with her choices"
Aka that ol "love the sinner, hate the sin" BS.
This woman just keeps posting the same shit. Hell even with the last one "I've got stage 4 pancreatic cancer... I've left the church... I'm not giving up my faith or changing my beliefs" She wants her daughters forgiveness for her own selfish "my soul will be clean" reasons. She's STILL NOT accepting her daughter & it painfully shows.
Idk my view is that just like the daughter her religion is a key part of her identity I viewed the I left the church statement as she left the specific church she was at maybe it was a toxic environment there but I think it’s kinda messed up that people are expecting the mom to change her religion and core values. You don’t have to agree with something to still love the person that doesn’t mean that you treat them differently. This kinda would be the same scenario if one of her kids became an atheist or something you can still love them but not agree with them. That’s just my perspective maybe more went on behind the scenes but idk
@@alyssamorton1107 here's the thing though, it's not about agreeing or disagreeing. It's about acceptance. OP still won't accept her daughters gay. She probably loves a version of her daughter, the version of who she was before she came out. Notice how she kept saying things about her daughter getting married but nothing about how her spouse is her "wife"
I agree with how there's probably more that OP left out, but from what we see here it's about her refusal to accept her daughters sexuality.
@@TwiggyHetfield27 well, the daughter is no different. She doesn't accept her mother either.
you can forgiving someone without giving them their 1001 chance to hurt you because those are two different things. if you are at peace nocontact you should never try to persuade them to break it because they know that reality much better then you. and it's honestly selfish to not see the amount of harm that could come from them opening themselves up to a person the've had the strength to cut out, nobody makes that decision lightly.
Definitely! You can forgive someone while also accepting the fact that they haven’t/wont change or will ultimately do you harm. You have to protect yourself and you can love someone from a distance. It takes immense strength to say enough is enough and cut all contact with someone you still hold love for.
Love how OP in story one keeps saying her daughter is "constantly posting" like she's not literally doing the same thing on reddit. I think daughter is just doing what op is doing and if she would stop trying to contact her and disrupting her life then she wouldn't be constantly running to the internet for help.
I am part of the LGBTQ+, and I have not had that issue with my parents. They rejected me for other things. Things I cannot control or change. I've never been good enough and I'm always the first blamed. I've also been abused by my parents. Cutting them out is never an easy decision. And i think if I ever do I wouldn't come back because they were dying. It would be a clean cut. Especially if they stalked me like this op is.
U should always do whats best for you.
And honestly, them running to their kids for forgiveness is purely a selfish reason.
Im not queer but I did cut off my dad from my life.
He takes zero responsibility for his actions but wants "forgiveness"(seems he just wants to feel like he's forgiven so his soul doesn't go to helll when he dies due to his million health issues).
I never trust a parent asking for "forgiveness" on their deathbed. They're not sorry. They're afraid that they're dying and being unforgiven is a hurddle to their theoretical fantasy heaven thatcher suddenly deserve.
(Ps. My sis is queer and she will prob hide it till our parents die cuz she loves our mom and is terrified of not being accepted. I'm used to being a blacksheep, so im fine with my distance from fam, but feel bad for sis who has to hide herself).
NTA to story 2. Uk to USA alone, with no plan and no experience of travelling ever and has anxiety? Nope. She didn't tell dad because she knew she didn't have plans and she knew he would dig into flight and hotels and excursions and what's happening. She has nothing. Dad is NTA. mum's a douche...however legally, they can't stop her.
Shes 17 not an adult busy law still a kid. If she was 18 it would be different. But tge fact she planned nothing shows how childish she is and why she still needs her parents.
@toxiczombiewolf5692 at the age of 16 in the UK, you can travel without ur parents consent.
I'm with the daughter. The parent shows transparent signs of being an unreliable narrator, and with regards to opportunities for forgiveness, the daughter is 24. You don't know how many hundreds of opportunities for bids for connection the mother has likely squandered already. Why should the daughter re-traumatize herself with no evidence that things will be different, just as she has finally found some happiness and flourishing and created her own family? How much effort into her own healing journey could be immediately derailed by this parent who has her own evident issues? This is a case where lack of experience in parents alienating their children definitely shows. The damage is unimaginable to those who have had unconditionally accepting parents.
My ex-best friend came out to me at 16. I said "yeah I already know. No big deal". She was so pissed I didn't have a more extreme reaction. She almost went seeking out drama and people who would react badly. She loved drama. I'm LGBT too before people make assumptions. I realised and came out way after her and in a less dramatic way. A lot of people still don't know but it's not something I hide if people ask. I just don't think it matters that much who you like to have sex with. I realise I am very lucky to have grown up somewhere accepting where there is the largest concentration of lesbians in Europe (more lesbians per square mile than anywhere else) who don't bat an eye if they see you kiss or hold hands with a woman. Good for a little town in the UK.
Like comparing being gay to being in prison is wild and the fact that OP doesn’t see that is wild to me.
My mother didn't go to her mother's funeral, my grandmother waited till the last possible moment to ask her to come. My mother would've had to risk going on a train during north dakota winter to go to this narcissist's death bed/funeral. My grandmother didn't even want to see me before she died, she wanted my mom to risk me being taken by child services again by leaving me with a friend. My grandmother knew all she needed to know and it never occurred to her that other people had their own problems, you didn't get to talk, you were just talked at.
How did the mom know she was posting all the time if she was blocked on everything. There is no way the friend was reporting that much. The daughter would have caught on and deleted and blocked mom's friends.
Im always amazed by how many people have the time to write these long stories, and keep updated as events happen. Like how do all these people have the time for all that. I could never. Respect.
S1: Shes only in her feelings because shes being cut off. Sexuality is not a choice but op is caught up in her religious beliefs and doesnt want to admit her wrong doing. Also i kinda doubt the daughter is continously posting about op
Story 1: gotta disagree in a sense with Sam.. forgiveness is something you do within, you don't necessarily have to recontact someone in order to have forgiveness. I've been nc with my mum for like 12yrs now and even if she was on deathbed, I wouldn't go contact, that would be going against all the work I've done to find that forgiveness.
Story 1: she disowned her basically at the beginning, and the daughter is allowed to have a boundary that was crossed. It is now up to the daughter to mend the relationship and you can't do anything except to: accept, learn, and appreciate what your daughter is going through. Therapy in order to understand and accept that love is love. It's crazy how people use religion when people have come out with evidence that the man cannot lie with man was actually a word to mean child
Yeah she keeps saying she'd "go to therapy with the daughter". Like no mam you need to go to therapy with yourself. Dragging your daughter into therapy so you can cry about how she's wronged you is not it.
@@kristinaerickson2353 she did, according to the story ...
She wants her daughter's forgiveness to soothe her own guilt. Its about her, not what's best for her daughter. She's still being judgemental and basically call her daughter's life unacceptable in her eyes. Why would the daughter want her mother at her wedding?
...did Sam just came out a lil bit? Im loving it! 😮😅
21:47
conspiracy theory one day sam will come out that he’s been dating christian
Story 1: I’m so tired of the Christian stance of loving your child in spite of their “choices”. Being gay isn’t a choice. The only choice her daughter made was to be honest with her. You don’t get to make someone feel bad about being gay, and then play the victim once they decide they don’t want to associate with you anymore. It’s just so selfish, and not how you treat someone you’re supposed to love unconditionally. Hopefully it was worth it, because it cost her relationship with her daughter. And she has no one to blame but herself.
I love to see the evolution of this pod. The edits, the sound affects, the stories. I’m so greatful to watch the growth. It’s beautiful 🥰🥰🥰
In the first story, I feel like everyone missed the fact that the mom said something about skipping her GRADUATION?! It's one thing to be tortured about her lifestyle, it's another thing to completely skip your daughters life achievements. I feel like this is older than the lgbtq question. My guess is that the mom has been using religion to justify her neglect and the daughter has had enough. Which, fair enough. And there's nothing to trust in the post. She never mentions exactly what all she did. All she really is focused on is how she looks in the community. My dad never turned up at his various family members' deathbeds. He is happier for it. It's okay. I also think the daughter has tried, and she knows her mum is going to keep reverting back to her old behavior like she did with her post.
A "sorry" NEVER EVER starts with "I'm sorry you feel that way." If you're really sorry, you change the way you make them feel!!!
" Im sorry that she feels like i dont support her" is waaaaay different than "Im sorry that I made her feel unsuported"
I am seemingly in the minority. I am FtM and currently with my fiancee, I come from a Roman Catholic family. I think there is far too much black and white in the first story. The mother isn't wrong for not wanting to throw her beliefs away. I think there is often this misconception that not supporting means standing against. That's not true. For example, my grandmother. She doesn't believe or support abortion. She says that it is a sin and she would never ever do it, despite the fact she had some danger in her pregnancies. That being said, she was absolutely livid when Roe v Wade was overturned because "That has nothing to do with the government, it is between that woman and God, God gave us freewill over our lives and our bodies. Now, she will have to deal with it when her time comes, but nobody on this earth should be forcing her one way or the other, it is inhuman." I remember that quote vividly, because one would expect her to have no issue if she thought it was wrong. But she believes that regardless of whether SHE likes it or "knows it is wrong" that it means you do not respect that person any less. She does not support abortion nor has to, she supports free will. I think the mother appears the same. She doesn't believe that homosexuality is right, commonplace in modern religion like it or not. Still, she WANTED to be at the wedding. Not to stop her, not hoping to magically make them a man, but to support her daughter's milestone. She doesn't want to convert her, she simply wanted it hushed around what is likely a far more loud mouthed religious family! And is that right, no. It hurts and stings and feels wrong. But what hurts worse is the brutal way those same people WILL respond. The vitriol and disgust and dismissing- I would rather hide it for a few hours with people I don't see often than deal with all the horseshit over and over. And the daughter claiming to be disowned is attention seeking. It simply is because it is a lie- if anything it is opposite. The daughter disowned her mother. She allowed her anger to miss a funeral out of spite. She, much like even the OK crew did, forgot and left behind her younger siblings because "they enable mother by talking to mother". Sounds like she said "If you talk to them then fuck you" like a child. The mother goes out of her way to try to say she wants to be there, to be in the daughter's life regardless of her beliefs, which is HUGE for a religious person. Instead, they send out social posts about how they wished they had family for the occasion only to refuse any contact regardless. The mother mentions going to personal therapy, wanting to go to group therapy, trying to be mindful, trying to dismantle core beliefs all for the sake of trying to rebuild and prove she cares for her child. For absolutely nothing but a spit in the face. And in the end, dying of cancer, she says she won't just let go of her beliefs (her faith, which they clearly misunderstood) but she wants to find a means of making peace with her child. Again, to be told essentially, "Die for all I care, I don't ever care or love you anyways". Because of what? Not tie dyeing the dog rainbow and playing a parade? Because they wanted her to be cautious? Again, I hated hiding too, but it spares SO much grief. On top of it all, even if they were ashamed, even if they wanted to hide it. The mother would rather associate and be apart of the life of her child in the end. She doesn't care who knows anymore as long as she gets to see her child, let her know that she loves her. And I think that for all the effort she has gone through, to be ridiculed even before being basically give the death sentence is so abhorrent. She tries and grows and practically begs and STILL gets told she is literally the worst by a bunch of absolutist pricks. I could see if she were trying to harm her or demand she change or making nasty remarks, but her sole intent was to rebuild her relationship and be apart of her life. Her marriage and partner and children included. People fail to allow people to be anything but "perfect" anymore. And it's depressing as hell.
I think a lot of commenters are catching the subtext between the lines that the parent is denying and minimizing her responsibility in alienating her child and some red flags as to how she is framing the situation, even saying what she would be sorry for is that her "daughter feels that way", the most non apology apology that ever didn't apologize. I think a lot of people are noting a lack of good faith just even in her narrative style. Even the power imbalance between a parent and a child and the fact that she essentially by her own admission made her daughrer hide a big part of herself from her family, I don't understand why people aren't getting just how damaging and traumatizing that is from the one person who's supposed to be in your corner? The parent should have all the grace in this situation and she is demanding all of it from the daughter while not really offering much herself and disrespecting her wishes for space. Honestly, the narrative style is quite narcissistic, and actually going no contact with the narcissist and the circle which enables her is pretty standard practice to maintain one's own mental health (which might explain why the daughter avoids family members and events which might put her in the orbit of this intrusive parent).
Yes I caught the "Im sorry she feels like Im wrong". I also, caught the part where she wanted her daughter to keep it separated from the family. AKA never bring her future/current wife around. Shes so upset she disconnected from her sisters just because they are around Mom. Furthermore, what is she posting? Is it about OP or is she posting generic statements about estranged/abusive parents and OP just knows they fit that bill. @@mantellata
@@mantellata I don't read it that way at all. Does she deserve every grace, no absolutely not. The pain you feel from that initial cut of being told part of you is wrong, especially from someone meant to love and protect you- hell, my nose burns and my eyes are watering right now. Even if you come to accept that is what that person is, even if years pass, it is so truly painful and I find myself quite emotional. But I also see past the first post. I see past the mistake. I listened to every update and saw a woman desperately trying to figure out what she did wrong and taking all available avenues to do so. And I would love the daughter's perspective, but I do not have it. Could you explain this narcissistic thing about her writing, too? I see a lot of people agreeing, but I do not see narcissism.
@alexa.9923 I know the word "narcissist" gets thrown around a lot on the internet for merely selfish or inconsiderate behaviour, but her narrative is incredibly telling and could fit someone with NPD (as someone who is closely related to someone who likely has NPD but refuses to go to therapy)
So here's the list of traits OP displays that fit with someone who displays narcissism:
1) not describing or else minimizing any harm she did to her daughter
2) reverse victimhood, painting her daughter as the aggressor now that OP has decided to play nice in her own mind and going into a lot more detail on how her daughter is publicly processing her trauma which is a huge offense to OP (narcissistic mothers are most triggered by offspring not keeping family secrets)
3) reconciliation is on her terms and her timeline (we don't know how she is approaching the daughter with this reconciliation but it's clear that OP was not doing the work at least initially to respect her daughter and make real changes)
4) seemingly no awareness or desire to understand just what she did and the harmful impact
5) seemingly only triggered to reach out based on the consequences to her image initially, no signs of remorse or reconciliation prior to publicity
6) anger and defensiveness about her beliefs after claiming she had a come to Jesus moment in understanding what she did to her daughter
7) subsequently wanting to reunite so that she can meet her grandson before she dies, so once again focused on her needs rather than her daughter's wellbeing.
These are some of the red flags I heard just off the top of my head
I can’t believe with the 1st story… OP is so selfish. She can have fun trying to gather support in her precious church since she loves it so much.
How so she being selfish, as a gay man front the south who had parents that found it hard to accept me being married to a man. I think it’s unfair that the daughter just expects her mom to just automatically accept her life style when it goes against everything she has believed all her life ! I think it’s bullshit that the daughter wants her mom to see everything her way but want give the mom any grace .
@@user-bz9mz5ft6zthe daughter wants to be left alone. The mother has had ample time to learn, but she wants it both ways. Her insistence on loving her in spite of the “choice” she’s made is the issue. Either her being gay isn’t an issue or it is. There is no gray area in that. If the mom wants to mend the relationship that SHE ruined, she has to accept that her faith is what caused the rift. It’s not up to the daughter to do the work for her.
@@Gayonetta5000 if that was the case the daughter wouldn't be posting all of the time, including apparently a lie about being disowned. The daughter is just as bad as her mother and really milking it. Since being disowned is something she doesn't get to decide, there is no question whether this is a lie. If OP states that she isn't disowned, she isn't disowned. It's as easy as that ...
@@brag0001 I’m so glad that the specifics of whether or not OP’s daughter is ACTUALLY disowned or not is what stuck out to you lmao
@@Gayonetta5000 Well, considering it's among the very rare hints we got speaking to the character of the daughter, I indeed paid attention to it. Being gay, trans, straight or whatever other sexuality doesn't make you a saint or a villain.
And if we want to explore why OP was so hung-up on getting to talk to her daughter again, her spreading outright lies about OP publicly certainly played a part in her not being able to just let go of the issue.If she actually went NC, instead of doing what she did, the daughter would have deserved that her mother let her live in peace and just letting it go.
People like you, who piked a side the moment you hear the sexuality of one party, are really doing a disservice to actual abuse victims. This was really a both sides suck situation. But I considering OP has probably been indoctrinated since early childhood, I'm not even sure that she was the bigger a-hole of the two.
when i came out to my dad as pansexual all he said was “i’d rather you date girls anyway , no teen pregnancy here”
The mother confuses accepting someone despite of what they do and accepting someone as who they ARE
With the one with the mom dying.. she just wants to be forgiven so she doesn’t pass with “unresolved issues” just because you apologized doesn’t mean the other person is obligated to forgive you.
S1: Situations like this irritate me to no end lol. You’re allowed to believe whatever you want but the idea that the relationships you have won’t change or shift as a result is just ridiculous. OP doesn’t have to support her daughter’s “lifestyle”, daughter doesn’t have to sacrifice her comfort and sense of self. She’s got family around her and other daughters, she should focus whatever time she has left on them and stop trying to force it. The relationship is over. 🤷🏾♀️
Yeah it’s just sad how she’s trying to fix the relationship, but not fix her own issues with gay people. It’s just so obvious with how she’s writing the story that she still doesn’t get it.
My sister came out as pansexual a few years ago and is now married to a woman. Our parents are church-going Christians and completely accept my sister and her wife. By the time my sister came out, all our grandparents had passed away. I'm almost certain that our paternal grandmother wouldn't have approved and caused issues, she completely disapproved of two of her kids divorcing for example. She had very old fashioned values.
Regardless of the mom’s change of heart, she cant undo how she acted before. When I came out, my grandma said she wished I’d have killed myself. There’s no coming back from that. Even if she had cancer, I would not meet up with her again.
I've cut my family off for similar reasons, I tolerated their nonsense for so long and finally they crossed the line. I don't care what they say anymore.
Children love unconditionally, and then sometimes they grow up and give their parents the love they earned and treat their parents how they were treated. For me, I'm done.
The mum doesn't want to understand. She's feeling shame because anyone with a rational brain knows the daughter did the right thing.
Improve for the sake of improving, not to get back into her life.
Story 1 - re: updates 3&4, op could have been deconstructing and then got her diagnosis and rubber banded back to the church, I've seen it happen a few times, they get a terminal diagnosis and their fear and shock makes them go back to something familiar, but bottom line, op is going to die without all 3 of her girls and has no one to blame but herself, although that's if the story is real at all
It’s crazy seeing these parents say they “love their kids, just not that part.” Could you imagine if your parent said they loved you but hated your arm? Or your leg? something you can’t just get rid of
As a Ntv I love they included our 2S community 😂❤️
How can you so often forget what you have read only a few minutes ago? This is something between infuriating and hilarious 🤯
“Will my daughter ever forgive me?”
No. And she shouldn’t.
I don't think she's lying about changing faith and now she's religious again. I think when your faced with your own mortality and your about to die, your religions believes can comfort/scare you when you're about to die
You guys are totally misinterpreting what the mom in the 1st story is saying when she says “even if she did something horrible, I would still love her.” She is not saying her daughter being gay is something horrible. She’s saying that she loves her daughter unconditionally. That being gay isn’t a big enough of a deal for her to stop loving her. That even if her daughter did something horrible, she would not stop loving her. You guys are putting way more into her words than necessary. Yall are too young and inexperienced to understand being a parent.
Edited to add… I do not agree with the mom or her views at all. I think you should accept your children for who they are no matter who they are or love. I think the mom messed up big time and her daughter has every right to continue being no contact. I do however think the daughter may be playing the victim a bit hard. Just as the mom is. But I understand mom wanting to have her daughter back in her life. Though she needs to let it go and allow her daughter to live her life.
There are 3 sides to every story… the left side, the right side and the truth. Though I also believe that toxic is toxic whether it’s family or not. I haven’t talked to my family in over 20yrs and that will not change. If the daughter is happy and feels better without her mother, than we have to trust she’s making the best choice for herself and her life.
Oh honey. Don’t work so hard. There are a ton of quicker ways to say you think homophobia is okay.
Do you have gay friends?
"as a queer person we don't abandon our family easily" being queer isnt a personality type lol. All queer ppl are different and its possible that this is all it took for the daughter, and there can be a ton of other things that make her double down (like what if its pressure from her partner? Even straight ppl will often drop family due to pressure from a partner.) there are too many elements we dont know. There could be more to the story on either side, the mom or the daughter. Also ive known ppl who have dropped a parent for less
Also saying the way someone feels during cancer shouldnt be called a "sob story" lol even if theyre awful ppl imo
Where has your spine gone? Do you need help finding it? Homophobes do not deserve grace. Also leveraging your alleged cancer diagnosis might as well be the printed definition of a “sob story.” Please read a book and grow a backbone. The heterosexuals are NEVER going to love you. Hope this helps
Unpopular opinion but idk if I'm with the daughter on that first story there. It's tricky. Either mom did something really bad that is hiding (which why woule you do that on reddit, being annonymous) or the daughter is also exagerating, like lying about being disowned and also not talking with people that are în contact with her mother. Like what did those other people do? Why do you miss a loved one's funeral and your chance for a last goodbye? Either daughter is really spiteful or mom really did something entirely f***ed up. But in these cases people always try to defend the lgbt individuals more, maybe from fear of not being canceled, (I am also part od the lgbt, so not daying this I a hateful way) not taking into account that there are bad people and spiteful kids from all kinda of categories.. Maybe the daughter is just being an asshole. Or maybe the mom is. Also not everyone who does not agree to the lgbt comunity is religious. So she can "give up on the church thing yet still not agree with it. Bo5h can be true at once. Very hard to tell. I also think everyone is being a bit too harsh when saying that that her saying that she would love her daughter even if she was in prison is the same as daying being gay is just as bad. Come on guys. If a friend would accidentally hit me with a straw and I would say that I would love them even if they would stab me with a fork it does not mean those 2 things are the same. They are obviously not. On is harmless and the other is not but I am saying I would love them even if the did the harmful one, aka love them conditionally.
People lie all the time on reddit. They post because they want people to tell them they are in the right and leave things out to try to make that happen. She never says exactly what she did that was "not supportive". What does that mean? Did she try to fire and brimstone her daughter and kerp telling her things like. "I love you, but you're going to hell"?
I can feel for both the mother and the daughter in the first story. When my mom found out I was Bi, it was rough, and she refused to believe it. It drove a wedge between us. However, I've grown to understand why she feels the way she does, and I've learned to respect her feelings about it as well. She's grown to understand me as well and has even bought me a few disney pride pins. Growth needs to come from both parties, and people have to understand that not everyone can fully agree on these things. But people can respect other people's decisions and agree to disagree. I feel the daughter also needs to educate herself and understand that just because her mom doesn't fully understand, it doesn't mean she isn't trying. Parents won't always agree with every decision we make or agree with how their children live their lives because everyone is their own person. And even if a parent don't outwardly accept the decisions their child has made, doesn't mean they don't love or support them.
Hope this makes sense 😅
I think you’re allowed to decide what works best for you and your relationships but if others do not feel loved or supported with an “agree to disagree” dynamic, I think that’s valid. Actions have consequences. Mom is going to need to make peace with that.
This makes sense and is a good way to explain it imo.
Hope for people with abusive parents and families is very different. Hope is delusion. It is the drug that you get addicted to in the cycle of manipulation of the abuser. It is heartbreak and disappointment, dissolving sanity and progress. Peace. Peace is priceless, and if they are people of faith then they should be good with accepting that they will see them for their resolution on the other side.
Can they hire someone who can help them keep the story straight? They literally read a comment and say "comment from" but then confuse it with the OP 😂
18:39 a gay daughter isn’t the asshole for not wanting to be around someone who believes that being gay is a sin. i tolerate my parents genuine belief that i am a degenerate and that i was brainwashed but that does not make me a good person. just cuz they’re invited to my wedding someday despite fully believing my gf and i are sinning by being with each other romantically (they love my gf btw it makes zero sense to me how they can continue to hold homophobic beliefs but i digress) that is neither moral nor immoral… THAT is a choice i make. i make the choice to TOLERATE their ignorance. ABUSE is not the only justified reason to cut parents off. it’s triggering to be told ur sexuality is not real. for some gay ppl esp those w/ fundie christina upbringing, you spend most of ur life closeted to yourself, so being reminded of the time you genuinely thought you were str8 is painful. it is abusive to be told repeatedly “i don’t agree with ur sexuality” in that context.
I just realized I've watched so many videos and kept forgetting to like them! I had to get to the next videos while binging 😂
About Story one, it does seem very likely that we’re not getting the whole story about what OP did to her daughter. but in spite of that, I do think the best decision her daughter could make for herself would be to see her mother. Not because it’s best for OP, because I think it is what’s best for the daughter. The daughter has two options. option one number one is to never see her mother again. And this is something that she could very well intensely regret as time goes on. Number two, is to see her mother and have the opportunity to say goodbye. Unlikely the daughter would intensely regret that. I suppose if OP behaves horribly, then daughter will go through some pain, but not experience anything new. But if time goes on, it is above ability that the daughter will be glad that she had this last meeting with her mother via good or bad. So therefore disregard op interest, I think the daughter should visit her mother for herself.
Daughter is also a huge AH. She cut ties with the whole family just because they refused to go no contact on her behalf. The same thing with claiming that she was "disowned". 100% overplaying the victim card.
Let her go because she loves the drama and try when she gets older never give up your faith for someone else’s life choices
Being LGBTQ+ is NOT a life choice. If it was a life choice no one would choose to be marginalized like this. Educate yourself ❤
@@championanthony7643 who you choose to be or love is life choices I choose to be with a man you choose to be with the same sex every thing you do is a choice
You don’t have to agree with everything to love someone. I just don’t understand the idea that someone needs to agree with every aspect of someone’s life on order to love them.
My dad (61M) just passed away from stage 4 pancreatic cancer last month on May 15th.
I didn't get to say goodbye... none of my siblings did. His wife hates all of us.
I will never stop regretting that fact that I didn't just go to San Diego and tell her to fuck off.
She put me on the do not admit list at the hospital because I'm not a Christian anymore. (My dad used to be the program director for the #1 Christian station in the PNW).
I should probably just call in with this madness.
His bio family and my mother still don't have actual confirmation of his death.
It's been a shitshow.
The worst part, is that these “Christians” believe that God can forgive men for murdering another, but God cannot forgive men for loving another.
Hi, fellow lifelong Catholic here. This episode made my blood boil! I hate when people try to use my religion to be homophobic when the catechism specifically condemns being homophobic. It's true they don't endorse same-sex marriage, but it says that the LGBT should be loved the same as everyone else, and homophobia should be condemned. What this mom did is not in the spirit of my religion.
For the first story i totally get it if the daughter doesnt want anything to do with the mother especially given that the mom still doesn't expect and just will tolerate her sexuality but the mother is right that the daughter needs to stop lying. Her mom hasnt disowned her and is infact desperately trying to reconcile with her and find commond ground. If the daughter doesnt want that fine but don't go around yelling falsehoods on social media. Like its crazy to say ive been disowned and no one wanted come to my wedding when you yourself blocked everyone and told your family you didn't want them around especially in regards to her siblings. Like they still 100% support her from what it sounds they just still want a relationship withvtheir mom too
Though I don’t have experience being a part of the lgbt+ community I do know what it’s like cutting off a parent. It’s not a thing someone does over something minimal. OP’s daughter probably went through it. And with a catholic parent myself I know for sure the mom probably said something horrendous and absolved her behavior through her faith. “God knows my beliefs are right and god will judge me with kindness but I can’t see you go to hell if you continue this” kind of deal after absolutely tearing up her daughter. Daughter needs to be left tf alone. I’ve not spoken to my father in 3years after his narcissistic bs. It’s freeing, my child is happy. I’m happy.
36:00 I've made up my mind. Don't let her go. She threatened to hate you forever if she can't go? Spoken like a child. In the words of Dolly Parton, tell your daughter, "Tough titties!". She needs a sane, responsible parent looking out for her. I can't believe the mother supports this!
I wonder if by the daughter not going to her grandmother's funeral because of her no contact with op if op means the daughter didnt come because she didn't want to see op or if op banned the daughter because she wouldn't speak to op.
0:39 Both me and my older sister are in the lgbtq+ community and my moms side of the family is super religious and I’m so thankful Thankful that my mom and grandma were accepting tho i know the rest of them wouldn’t be
Before you read the playing the victim comment I thought the same thing. She probably has over exaggerated her situation with her mom so much, very publically, that she can't admit to her friends,gf, and in laws the truth now. I also believe the mom isn't understanding of the daughter, but the daughter isn't understanding the mother either... Apple doesn't fall from the tree lol
That daughter seriously needs therapy before she regrets not seeing her mom for the last time if it's true. My mom's talked to us about this and mending things with parents you don't like. (We have issues W my dad.) She said once they pass away it actually makes things mentally very bad for people when they don't repair those relationships or end in peace.
For the baby switch...f that place 2million isn't enough! My kids in foster care f that. On the up side the other kids going to have a good life
I don't understand how having a phobia equates to non acceptance? Having a phobia literally means to have an irrational fear or aversion to something. I don't agree with criminality ... does that equate to me having a phobia? I can someones choice to be homosexual without accepting that choice.
Homosexuality is not a choice. What you’re doing is actively looking down on and disapproving of something that is not a choice which is bigotry and hatred and not fear. It was people full of hate who called it homophobia (fear) and not a name that reflects its a choice to be a bigot like your doing. Homophobia is non acceptance even if you’re not actively spewing hatred
I feel that if you haven't been abused by a parent you shouldn't comment on how the abused children react. It's easy to preach forgiveness from a privileged place
OP 2 people outside USA, specially Europeans, really underestimate how big and unsecureit can be here for someone that don't know their way around. I'm not saying there's no crime and violence there, but it's a different kind. Also, it's biiiig, there's citiies that you would take a whole good hour to cross it, sometimes eveb more. Road trips can take a whole day just to cross the state.
It can be pretty overwhelming for someone with the type of anxiety he is describing
You guys are taking it as truth that the daughter is posting about it "a lot". The mother is trying to make herself as blameless as possible, and what better way than to make the daughter sound like she is acting like a spoiled brat telling all her friends about her horrible mother. The mother should stop stalking her daughter, go on with the rest of her short, miserable life and realize that she got what she wanted: her daughter's girlfriend (now wife) won't be part of the family.
So on the first story, I too am Christian so I can feel for the mother. Also the daughter is also having the whole woe is me going on. She is posting on FB that it is her mom disowned her and doesn’t want to be there for her when that is not the case. I think they are both at fault. They could have patched things up I feel but you only have one side of the story.
16:44 so she just left _that_ church? I’m curious about when OP got the diagnosis.
12:24 yeah, the other daughters were mentioned because the gay daughter won’t talk to them because she feels they enabled OP by still talking to her.
6:44 I believe both sides are wrong. To be that closed off and not realize that not everything is husband and wife… being gay is not taboo anymore .
With the daughter I feel like It’s fucking outrageous not to speak to certain family members that you have strong relationships with because they speak to your father still.
I’m pretty sure she’s cool with people that have family/friends that are low-key homophobic … cut your friends out for having people in their life like that as well
Pancreatic cancer is not brain cancer, and a homophobic person is not worthy of being forgiven.
I just feel like there can’t be true support as long as OP thinks of sexuality as a choice. It feels like she still thinks of this as a failing on her daughter’s part, like something to forgive, rather than a natural part of who her daughter is.
Idk if OP is really trying tbh. She is treating sexuality as a choice her daughter made that she has to work to get past instead of the fact that she has to get past her own bigotry.
S1: OP keeps calling it life choices and that’s a part of the problem. I feel like the daughter keeps hearing OP mention “choices” and that would be very off putting
11:03 Meh, I can see where the mom is coming from. Being LGBTQ+ doesnt make you better than religion. In the mother’s eyes the daughter is living in sin(based on her religious views she has every right to believe that). Maybe she is withholding information of her calling the daughter names… However, she can’t except her daughter to invite her to the wedding or be a major part of her life after openly telling her to keep her sinful relationship to herself.
Ppl are gonna say whatever they want about you online; choose to ignore it & be secure in your own truth, or go ahead and post your part the story🤷🏻♀️
The mother in the first story is proof evolution can work in reverse.
I get not agree with something. I get where she is trying to come from. But you dont have to let your daughter know every second that it is brought up that you dont agree with it. This isn't an outift that is not to your taste. This her life and she wanted you to be a part of it. She could have omitted the fact she doesn't agree with it, which I'm sure the daughter already knew way before coming out and the fact she even had the guts to come out is commendable.
Just as your not owed forgiveness you also shouldn’t push your ideals onto others that’s doing the exact same thing they’re doing to you. Personally dont care what your sexual preferences or religious ones are but there has to be a way to meet in the middle without fighting. So as it is wrong the mom didn’t want her lover around I think it could’ve been fixed in that instance by just talking to her mom. But it’s not worth cutting off all contact if there’s room for growth.
While im sorta on the fence about this whole thing, the thing that annoys me is the commenter who categorized all Christians and said they will never change. Not all christians think the same way, there are different denominations for a reason. Im speaking from experience. Me personally im a christian and i dont really go around being like oh being gay is a sin oh gay people are horrible. No i honestly dont care i dont support it and i dont not support it. Im just neutral, in between if you may say i guess, i watch gay ppl all the time and even find them cute. My standard for it is that i dont really care whether youre gay or not just that if you are gay dont try to push yourself onto me, meaning dont pressure me about certain stuff because im not gay and dont try to make me gay and dont try to make me a full blown out gay supporter. I will stay in my neutral feild. At the end of the day being gay doesn't mean youre not a person, youre still a person and just because i dont agree or like what you do doesnt mean i get to judge you or comment about it.
Lessen of the day guys, just mind your own business if you dont like it that's cool but dont be all negative and rude about it. Hope my point got across
I feel like if the daughter is posting maybe it's after mom reaches out said something negative or even just saying something negative to whoever told her of past post you know what I mean.... then daughter reacts and vents online? I don't know I just feel like thats something I would do
Honestly please hire a gay person on this show lmao
So the mom didn’t want to give up god when she was dying no surprise there. From the lack of context just seems the daughter lived a safe sheltered life but first betrayal of her mom was enough to cut her off for good.. the fact she kept posting about her not trying after the mom reached out is weird
With the first story my opinion is - not enough info. We don’t know how OP treated her daughter when she came out. Maybe she was horrible and deserved all that or maybe daughter really just plays the victim. We don’t know.
Story 1: she left the church, not the religion. She still has her beliefs but realized she put the church above her family, sp she left the church to mend her family
The mother in the first story could have given up her faith at first. However, once she got her cancer diagnosis it is possible that she went back to the faith, wanting to pray for healing/recovery or wanting her “soul to go to heaven”. Both updates can be true since life circumstances have changed.
You sound great and you are awesome 🥰🥰
For the mom rejecting gay daughter's lifestyle, did you all forget the daughter would tell the mom leave me alone and then post " my mom disowned me". Probably why mom is upset about posts. The posts are blatant lies.
Let me start this off by saying, I am a 33 year gay old back man that currently lives in CO and from Alabama. I grew up with pretty religious parents and my parents had a hard time coming to terms with me being gay and married a man. I think the mom did her best to try to reach out to her daughter, the daughter can’t force her mom to magically accept her being gay. Her daughter has been gay for a while or all of her life and it’s unfair to just make someone accept something that seems totally odd to them. I think the daughter is being a spoiled brat, and wants everything her way. The reason I said this because the daughter is upset with the other sisters just because they still have a relationship with the mom. The daughter needs to grow up and stop playing victim!
At this point, she’s cut all contact - she’s not trying to force anything lol. She doesn’t want a relationship. Mom can’t force her daughter and the daughter can’t force her mom. Going their separate ways is the best option and if mom is having regrets, hopefully prayer will provide comfort and peace.
The daughter isn’t being a brat. The mom is being entitled into wanting a relationship with her daughter and being backhanded with her attempts. Saying “I love you BUT” isn’t a good thing and nobody should be forced to have a relationship with someone that feels that way.
The daughter was a victim. She rejected her daughter using the false Catholicism for *years* not months, *YEARS*. She's going to a harsh judgement for her hateful behavior and she'll deserve it. God has no love those who toss away their children in the name of hatred, especially hatred caused by the twisting of His Word.
It sounds like you’re much more willing to swallow your family’s homophobia than she is. And she’s right for it. This is such a cancerous take. I hope you’re ultimately able to accept that your family is trash and free yourself.
Story 1- that was a comment about leaving the church, not OOP.
The last relevant comment does sound that the daughter enjoys playing the victim. In order to spite her mother, which is disgusting.