What To LOOK OUT FOR When Dating A Single Dad ⚠️ Warning Signs & Red Flags ⚠️ (From A Single Dad)
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- Опубликовано: 5 сен 2024
- In this video, I share with you 4 warning signs and red flags to look out for when thinking about getting into a relationship with a single dad or father (These would also apply to single mothers). I wanted to share these red flags because truth be told, I see a lot of single fathers who are still hurting from their last relationship trying to get into a brand new relationship and we all know how that will work... it won't. So in some cases save yourself the pain, hurt, and trauma and don't do it.
I also had the thought that who better than a single dad himself to create a video on the red flags/warning signs of dating a single dad.
Thank you for checking out this video, we appreciate you all so very much! :)
Let us know what you thought about the video in the comments down below!
Love Always, Linky and Ethan ✌🏼
If you wanted to connect more let's do it, you can find us on Instagram here:
@conscioussingledad ( / theconscious.dad )
OR
@JoyfullyEthan ( / joyfullyethan )
This is solid advice. I tried dating a man with kids. He was still going through his divorce. Biggest red flag of all. He wasn't taking good care of himself either, not doing inner work, working out. I met him too fresh
Thank you :) I'm glad you had the experience of dating a single dad who was not ready... Without that you may never would have known what it is like to date a man who is ready. Thanks for sharing :)
Thank you for your message. I'm a single newly divorced woman with no kids. I dated a single father right after my divorce and I ended it 5 months ago after seeing all these red flags. I definitely knew it wasn't the right relationship for me as soon as he started blowing me off. I felt like I am dating a man-child. I wish I knew my worth before I stepped into the dating scene. Lessons learned, happy being single rn! Thanks!
Thank you for sharing :) I'm glad that you know your worth, learnt your lessons. Sometimes I think those that come inot our lives that are not the right ones, are preparing us for the right ones by teaching us the lessons we needed to learn. Cheers to being single, and rocking it!
Don't let that one experience shy you away from dating another man who has children or recently divorced. True love will find you. I'm a single father of two amazing boys and My philosophy is when the times right Love Will find you!
@@Jeremy_Zack_Lucas facts
@@Jeremy_Zack_Lucas thanks Jeremy I appreciate it I losted little faith in love
@nexusn568 Men are just narcissistic and shallow in general.
I dated a single father once. He was a nice man who had plans very soon to get his life together in the military. So I thought things would be fine since he was very motivated and loved his kid a lot.
But on our first date, I went to go pick him up since he didn't have a car. I didn't have a problem with it at first. We were on our ways to the movie theaters, but we had to cancel because his baby mama was mad that we were on a date and wanted him to come to her place to take care of the baby. They weren't together from what he told me, but seeing how he's having baby mama dramas already told me this wasn't going to work.
There was another time when he got mad at me because I didn't want to give him money to pay for his baby's diapers. For me, I thought it was ridiculous. I was doing so much for him already like feeding him, driving him all over the place, sharing my drinks with him. I was trying to be patient and be nice for him. But I was getting fed up at this point. I mean, why couldn't he asked the baby mama or his mom to help? Why'd he ask the girl he was dating to help him? That's where I drew the line with him.
From what I know, dating single parents who don't have their life together and have baby mama/baby daddy problems. Are not ready to settle down for a relationship. For me, i think the best solution for single parents to be in a relationship is to find another single parent to date.
Dude was a nightmare you dodged a bullet
Never date single parents u will never win or get the best out of them too much baggage
That’s us fir the baby mama to do not you buying for someone else child no go girly when it’s not your DNA
@@nychang75 as a woman no dude she a woman lol 😂 silly
Everyone talks about RED FLAGS but I believe there is such thing as ORANGE FLAGS where a man or woman may not be in the best place in their life, perhaps their circumstances are not the greatest, but they are putting in the effort to overcome these challenges, to learn & grow and to move beyond them. Most single dads are good dudes with good hearts in unfortunate situations. Be kind to them.
That's beautifully put :) I think all of the things I mentioned in this video could be orange flags like you had mentioned. As long as they are good hearted and willing to work on themselves those are good indicators no matter what is happening!
Agree with you @swag that’s real!
I then am 100 percent an orange flag single mom
I agreed
I'm a single father and I have custody of both of my kids who are now 9 and 13. I was in a marriage for 13 years and 8 of those years I tried to make it work but due to things she did (I'm not here to gossip) it was more damaging to continue the relationship. I had to put my kids first and in doing so I was able to provide them with a roof over their head, I have a job that I enjoy and not once do I talk about their mother in any negative way, though in my head at times I want to. Unfortunately, when they visit her she likes to talk negative about me which can be detrimental to them both. I told her I want to co-parent and be friends so that we can raise our children together even though we are in different states. I even encourage the boys to speak to their mother and to have a healthy relationship. Having a divorce isn't easy on anyone but when you have children you have to put *THEM* first. My boys can be difficult at times but my whole world revolves around them and if I had to do it all over again I would do it for these 2 amazing boys.
What does this have to do with dating?
@@incredibleiris2121 Because I was in a toxic relationship for years, that's what I was talking about. It wasn't only toxic for me it was toxic with the kids. So when you're dating it's important to think about your kids because they will be affected by who your with.
Yo brother! First of all mad respect for you man for showing up for yourself, for your kids and for your ex wife (By not speaking badly about her in front of your kids... that's not an easy thing to do). I'm humbled reading your comment and glad that your kids have a dad like you. Keep showing up, keep kicking ass, keep putting them first and keep growing dude!
You picked the wrong woman to have kids with. Put them first is fine and revolve your life around them but don’t expect another woman to do that. Don’t date until they are on their own.
@@monicag6715Exactly dont want another man’s drama, baggage and bullshit
I can't be with a man that i know has children that he doesn't have anything to do with and won't accept responsibility for. That's a deal breaker for me. He would have to accept responsibility for his children and be in their lives, or I'm gone.
From my experience, it's just not worth it. Dating is already challenging. This adds even more of a challenge. Unless both parents have truly moved on, are mature, or the children are adults, I wouldn't do it.
I agree with you on them being mature and responsible. Not saying people can't change but with young children it doesn't free up much time to go out and meet people and get to get to know someone. Seems a lot of single fathers and mothers are working on becoming better.
@@abbyxiong3931 Yea I agree.
I agree. I did it for 9 months and I didn’t see the red flags because they were subtle at first but got louder at time progressed and it seemed like he made me feel like he was doing me a favor when it was the opposite. I felt like I was putting in more work to help him but wasn’t being appreciated for it. I can’t date another guy with kids after this. I just can’t.
@@jbroberts8807 I feel you.
@abbyxiong3931 Yes. Time is always the main issue and excuse as well.
This was a good video. I dated my first single dad he's 48 and when I went to his apartment I noticed it was not clean, there was no food in the fridge and he was on multiple antidepressants. He just had mattresses on the floor. I knew I had lowered my standards. That was a mistake I will not repeat. Also he wanted me to meet his children right away which I thought was odd and move in together and we had only been seeing each other for about 4 weeks. The man was divorced for 10 years. I verified his employment since I am in HR, but I am shocked how someone could be so smart and not put together.
I met the singel dad with 3 kids and newly discovered. In the beginning he seemed al put together,had a good stable job,economy and good with his kids, gave me hope becouse we both wanted a relationship and family.
After moving in with him I realised he was depressed,overworking alcoholic. He put al of his old depressed energy on me and my hope for a healthy beginning and family just faded with time. I feel sorry for him as he was doing his best and was still not enough for me. We had fights that got more and more ugly and aggressive so I left at least 5 times. I was 36 and was ready to have kids now I'm almost 40 and I don't want that anymore. Learned a lot and sow some love but a lot of old dark energy. Felt like I took the ex place and space. Disgusting feeling
Hi, I'm sorry to hear about what happened between you and your man. I came across this video and then you comment. I am currently thinking of dating a single dad but I want to take my time with him. I read your comment and couldn't help but maybe suggest that what he may need is professional help and time to be happy by himself first so that he can work through his traumas, find healthy ways to cope and learn to let go of the past so he can begin his healing process. I know I'm just a random person on the internet so I can't say much. I hope he finds peace and you do too.
@capbb17 Your comment made me so happy. This is why I love the internet because it can connect two people together and through sharing of one's thoughts it can make another feel so much better. You rock 🚀
Hey Maya, I'm sorry to hear that was your experience I don't wish a situation like that upon anyone as that wasn't your mess. It's beautiful as well when I read that you learned a lot through that. That's huge, it seems from reading that you found your worth, your value and yourself and that is a beautiful gift to get out of a situation like that. I wish you nothing but the best
I was in the exact same situation. It’s good that you recognized the situation and learned from it. Blessing in disguise.
I would love to marry a nice single dad and be a stay at home mom, I think every kid deserves a mom , but I live in a country where divorce rate is 15%
What country do you live in?!?!
I would agree that every kid deserves a mom, and I'm sure that if that is what you want 15% of the male population of the country you live in I'm sure is still quite a bit of men to choose from lol
In the U.S., divorce rate is 50%! Lol 15% is awesome. I’m divorced and I tried so hard to avoid it but ultimately I made the right choice. But that’s why I’m out country, it’s actually a huge risk to date and I’m trying to make better choices and have more awareness this time I didn’t have the first time when I was so much younger.
Thats a little desperate.
Im a single father for two boys and for me the relation with yourself is more important that anything i found out very late because i was soo hurt that my ex just go from us and it was though time too managing it and the same time you have to handle everything like kids need and there are moment where you doubts just take over no one is gonna truely be there for you but you I wish that I chould learn that way sooner so that it will be easier for our everyday but only time can tell and that time is yours only im from Denmark and it is very rare to be a single father I have collected a few and talk about our journey and how our society sees us it is very interesting but yeah to any single father out there just wanna let you know it gonna be ok the worst will be over and you gonna grow again even stronger no matter what is coming for you and god bless you brodad ❤
Thanks bro!
I am a single mom, i have TRAUMA from my past relationship, it's been many many years that past but still unhappy for finding relationship that would treat me right. I kept asking myself maybe the problem is myself alone and i just need time to heal. So then i get tired of being lonely, i just want to be happy so i teach myself to be more positive but i still ended up with TOXIC relationship
Hey :) Thanks for sharing, like you said in the other comment it has been a while. I'm sorry to hear that you ended up in a toxic relationship even with teaching yourself to be more positive. It's challenging and I can understand that as I've also done the same thing... many times over. I think the work is always in recognizing where did you bring toxicity to that relationship and how can you change that within yourself. Also, I do want to share that there is someone out there who is waiting for you, and that relationship will be the best thing you've ever experienced or what some would call the "one" You seem to be a beautiful woman and I'm sure it will happen sooner than later ;)
@@XxEtHaN39xX Thank you and God bless.🙏
@@Introvertwoman1989 I've been in toxic relationships because I wasn't strong enough to reject men with those above red flags. I've been out of a relationship for 7.5 years. All that time I've been working on myself. It's only now I feel strong enough to reject men that I know are bad for me personally. I need someone who is stable and caring and who is willing to work on things and communicate and go the extra mile. If they can't do that then I'm better off on my own. I'm 39 with no children and no career because I need to look after myself first. Some people are lucky they have friends they can rely on they have family they can rely on they have money they can rely on. I don't have that so I'm more vulnerable to knockbacks in life.
@@marleyhill34 I feel you.🥺
Thank you for that I'm dating a single dad he has a great job but struggling financially at the moment because he helped his good friend's dad's hospitalization and supporting his kid on his own, but from all your lists he doesn't have those qualities, he' s a great man, very reapectful, doesn't say bad about his ex despite the fact that she doesnt support their child eversince, and most of all he is the only man who treated me well he makes time for me everyday even of he's tired at work and he also treat my family and friends with respect.
Flip the situation. My ex abused us. Ended being arrested multiple times. Gave up after she was ordered to stay away from us for at least a year. So newly separated and glad to be out of that toxic environment. Been 3 weeks. Son is 3.5 and with my parents as I work shift work. Next step is the property split. Luckily we have a portfolio. I'll most likely get custody and her supervised visits because I found out she was abusing him.
Hopefully I can keep my unit and rent it out (let her keep the other 3 if it comes to that).
I will do the healing work as needed. It sounds as though dating women without kids is a better option. But I feel like I'm going to be so wary. I have standards like I want someone who is driven, has a decent career and ambitions. Basically I'm not interested in anyone who is content with sitting around or working a part time job etc. But most importantly I want to make sure they'd be safe for my child!
I've always held that belief that my son's safety comes first and I'm not going to trust a stranger with my child. I mean my trust just got shattered with my son's own mother too but I always had this belief in my mind that it would worry me about what would happen to my son when I'm not there to see (eg at work). Does that make sense?
Hey Matt, sorry it's taken me so long to reply, and thank you for showing up and sharing homie. From one single dad to another you have made an incredible choice and I'm happy for you that you did what was best!
That's a wild story you have, and of course, it can be flipped anyway we want it to be. It makes sense that you want someone who has similar interests as yourself I think that you deserve that man... Especially if that is who you are.
And oh yeah, I agree with you it's a scary thing to let go of control over your child and have them being cared for by someone other than yourself. That's a scary thing man, and it sounds like your trust was shattered from your ex as well so that doesn't help your situation. I think that as you heal, and begin to work yourself out, you'll begin to have faith and be able to trust people with your child. Obviously while doing a background check and making sure that they are actually good people.
When I first dropped my son off, I was terrified, I cried, and then every day it got better and better as I also watched him and how he responded to being in the care of someone else for the day.
Best of luck to you brother!
Take all the time you need to heal, definitely don’t rush into dating. I was in an abusive marriage and got married very young. I had no idea what red flags were and narcissistic men do a good job of hiding them or their red flags are actually big romantic gestures so you don’t always recognize it as love bombing and unhealthy. But he cheated on me and is even cheating on the girl he cheated on me with, lol. So it’s good I ended the relationship. But it’s taken me almost 4 years to date again. My kids are older now so they’re in school and I don’t have to worry as much about who’s watching them. But I coparent and it’s hard knowing the type of man he is and that’s he has a hand in raising these kids. Maybe oddly, it’s good there a person in the home observing him so maybe he will do the right thing but so far, my kids say it’s ok and I pray that it’s the case.
I’m dating a single dad now and we are on the same page, he went through similar things so he understands my baggage. It’s obvious it was a great source of pain but it’s not raw like it was when I was freshly divorced. But not all people in the world are evil monsters. I’d like to think I’m a good and loving mom and person, far from perfect but still, I love my babies and I think it’s sad there are people so broken that they would hurt a child. I will also add I’ve had nearly weekly therapy since then so if you haven’t looked into therapy for you and your kids, I think it would be so beneficial. Maybe when your kids are a little older, you can consider dating again. You will know when you’re ready.
This is helpful. I’m the single father, lol but wanted to hear what you have to say🙌🏾
What do you mean by you wanted to hear what I have to say :) I would love to make another video if that is the case talking more about this!
Ive been a single dad now for 9 years now. I haven't dated that whole time. Plus my 3 keep me bz most of those 9 years. I chose not to date. Plus I have a very over protective daughter. LOL!! My daughter is alot older now. And if were lucky. I only hear from my deadbeat ex-wife maybe 2 or 3 times a year. So I'm just now thinking of start dating. I had many chances to go out with many women. Just didn't want to. I got my 3 kids love and respect. But hey. Life is great!!
Hey Steven, cool to hear your experience man especially the part of you possibly thinking about dating! That's huge, especially after 9 years of giving your children nothing but the best and I honor you for that. Is the mother involved in the kids lives at all?
Red flag #1: He's a single dad.
Hahaha oh my lanta this one had me laughing so goood :) Thanks for making my day. In some ways it can be true.
😂😂😂
@@RadiographyST Hahahahaha. Everytime I see this comment I laugh! Thanks for the reminder LOL
@@XxEtHaN39xX Good content, first time watching. I don't mind a widower, baby mama drama is not there.
@@RadiographyST Thank you :) It's cool to hear that you know what you want... means you get to avoid everything else hahah cheers!
I started dating a single dad and we are exclusively dating each other. This the first time I’m navigating through this and I’m not sure what to expect. I’ve heard from him a couple of times this week, and I’ve been sending him texts about my day or just telling him good morning, because he has told me that he likes hearing about my day. Is this normal for single dads to do this??
That's cute. How many kids he has?
I'm curious of what you mean by normal for single dad's to be doing this?
To me it sounds like you have met someone who respects you as a person. Someone who is genuinely interested in how you are doing, and how your day was. It's crazy how we have to ask if that is normal (I get it as a lot of men don't do that) AND I'm so happy you met someone that does that for you. Let me know how things go Arcelia
I'm dating a single dad with 2 kids for almost 2 years as he is so good at being a father. Yesterday I asked him, if he considers introducing me to his parents he refused it and told me he doesn't want to deal with criticism of his mom. He keep telling he loves me but I feel like I am no one for his people. What should I do?
Hey :) First of all thanks for taking the time to express yourself and It's really cool to hear that you are dating a single dad. I'm sorry to hear that he doesn't want to introduce you to his family, what I would do is suggest that you tell him the importance of how much that means to you to meet his family and how that is something that you really really want.
And if he still chooses not to make that happen, I think you get to sit with what that means for you. IS meeting his family a must for you, or is it something that you are willing to let go of?
Is this what you want a relationship to be like?
These are all things that you would get to sit with, and first I would always recommend sharing how you really feel and what you really think.
I hope that helps :)
@@XxEtHaN39xX I broke up with him a month ago because he has too many life's conditions which I couldn't fit in. And I didn't want to wait and hope for him to change his attitude which I can't make sure that he's gonna change. Thank you for the advice and I wish I'll be stronger to insist on choosing what I truly want further.
I’m a single mom dating a single dad I’ve technically known for 27 years, we met when we were 9. It feels healthy so far. I met his family and we’ve been seeing each other a little over a month. But we both are still figuring each other out and getting to know each other. However, so far our families got along well, including his and my kids. I had a friend date a man for a year and never met his kids or parents and they’re in their 50’s and he lives with his parents. I personally don’t think it’s good if it’s been that long without meeting important people in their life. I wouldn’t pressure someone into meeting their friends or family at the beginning, this all came from his desire for me to meet them and me feeling it was right. We see each other a lot and for long periods of time so it feels like we have crammed a years worth in a short time but we are also taking it slow. However, in a more traditional relationship, after 6 months, I’d want to have met his friends and family by then. I would not do more than a year without meeting parents and if there is something funky about his parents he wants to hide, you may not ever want to meet them. I’m glad you set boundaries and broke up. It was the right call I think.
Dump him u can do way better he don’t seem to care about you so stop wasting ur time
The right single Dad is worth the wait! ❤
Some of us were trapped and we didn’t even know were dads until two months
what i dont getis, why is a single father everytime considered to be divoerced? im widowed and a single father.
I know bro im a widowed dad of 4 here.
@@jpowell2603 i have 3 kids
The one I dated would “hide” me from his baby mamas.
I love that you said "shiznit" haha. So true though. 100%
Hahaha I died laughing when I heard that again when I was editing 🤣
Just had ugly fight and ended a LDR with my ex,he divorced with 2 kids who stay with him 1 weekend out of 2 week ,he was very nice at the beginning asked me if I mind he had kids ,and promised me will love me as the same as his kids .i am single woman has no kids but was 36 when dating him .i promised will treat his kids well ,and I did .i bought all the gifts and shipped to my ex,so that he could gave them to kids(he did not even mention they were from me),and I was not even allowed to be there (from camera) when they open my gift boxes .but I never angry Or mind about that .then he just pushing my limits more and more …he told he need to chat and talk to his ex for managing the kids(every day),some times even during our chats -he would just tell me that he need to reply to her and asked me to wait …and when he with his kids ,he never can spend time with me,he asked me to understand,it took me months and year to understand.then I learnt to be alone and not bothering him while he had kids .and let him to call me or reply my message when he had time (as he required ),and then he told me he needed to have social life ,need to drink w colleagues (woman),and not allowed to disturb him..and then he needed to go swimming and diving …if I call him or send him message when he did not want me to .he would block me….he was blocking me for at least 1 time of week. Then I started to have trust issue with him …i question him a lot .we had tones of fights .days ago ,he asked me to wait cause he had his daughter (9 years old) with him ,I called him around 11pm ,he rejected my call ,and told he was playing vedio game with his daughter ,I questioned ,and then he blocked me till 8 am next morning …and then explained he fall asleep without unblock the phone. I started to think of he cheated on me ,he got mad and blocked me again for 12 hours .then I realize that I have noticed his another number showing in his phone before .i thoght he had another number ,so I called that number and send a message to ask if it’s his number. 2 hours later, he unblocked me and sent me a message telling me I was harassing his son ,and threaten me if I dare to contact him again ,he would call police…(this is the F hard lesson I have learnt from a F french guy with kids)
Never date a guy with kids again.Gf is just the shit compare to his kids .
Hey Emma, I'm sorry to hear that you found yourself in a situation like this with a single dad. It's pretty obvious that he wasn't ready for the relationship, and by the sound sof it neither were as you put up with it for so long. I hope you are able to heal from all of this and integrate the lessons you have learnt and move onto to find someone who will treat you with love, respect and beauty. You deserve it :)
I have to disagree on the point that he has to automatically respect his baby mama. Respect needs to be earned. Just bc she had sex with him, got pregnant and popped out a baby does not make her a saint to be respected when she brings toxicity and harm to him and to his previous child in the form of emotional abuse. There is a reason why he left her and why the relationship failed. Bc honestly if he respected his ex so much and loved her then why even separate and cause trauma to the child they had together? Respect is earned.
OMG THIS IS INFORMATIVE,THANKS SO MUCH
Glad it was helpful! :)
I have a guy who is a nice guy and his boys are great. But when he’s dealing with stress he pulls away and doesn’t want any emotional support and I don’t hear from him. His custody arrangement is still a pain and overwhelming to him and I don’t have kids so I don’t know how much to tolerate.
Hey again :) I hear you, that would be hard Kayla and good for you for recognizing your situation. I would remind you to trust yourself, you know how much you want to tolerate, deep down inside you know all of the answers. If you create a quiet space for yourself by either meditating, or going for a walk the answer will come up for you.
@@XxEtHaN39xX you are such a level headed guy 👍🏻 I ended up ending it with him when he literally ghosted me for 5 days straight and then ignored my call and text. Then when I tried to end it he said he didn’t want to, but he basically wanted me to wait around til he got his stuff figured out and just be there when it was convenient for him. The weird thing was that he was 10000% the opposite the first month and a half and then when the drama with the ex and her family ramped up, he switched on a dime. I made it very clear how it made me feel and he apologized and then continued to do it. I had no problem with the kids at all, it’s literally the adults. Plus, with seeing him act like that when I truly gave him the space he needed, REALLY makes me wonder if his ex was that crazy after all……
@@kayladickson8124 Good for you!!!!!!!!! That's awesome that you broke it off :) It definitely sounds as though he wasn't ready to be in a relationship with you. I'm happy you made that decision for yourself, stoked actually.
@@XxEtHaN39xX thank you! It needed to happen but I was bummed. He really seemed like a great guy but the truth is that I just can’t get in another relationship where I’m not a priority. Plus I haven’t been able to stay pregnant, so it adds insult to injury coming third to the children and former spouse. So yeah, not for me
So I’ve been dating this guy for 2 months and he gets his 8 yr old daughter every other week. When he gets her he tells me she uses his phone for games. Ignores my text or wont text me for more then 6 hours. When he doesn’t have her he barely calls or text. So I have decided to not be so clingy and wait for his reply sometimes he texts he misses me or loves me but I’m the beginning we use to hang out almost everyday and talk now I feel like he’s drifting why all of a sudden the change. The baby mama has her partner so I’m not sure what to do here because he is/was the guy I have been wanting for the longest in a committed relationship. Ugh so confusing.
Follow your gut and leave.
10/10 they go back to their baby moms be careful because baby moms are crazy depending
I agree with Nichocha and would say to follow your gut and ask yourself if this is something that you WANT. If it isn't then leave. It may be hard being your longest committed relationship AND you will find someone who will treat you the way in which you want to be treated :)
Thank you for this insightful information.
Oh no. I want to know, if he prioritizes you in person on dates, shuts out most things, but when setting up things it might be 70/30 he's got to say no, can't plan a date, etc. with you? None of your others were negatives... But I very much hear kids take priority and I've already got stuff, date has to be planned a later time.
Thus far it's been good. But I got a very large window this time and it worries me. And the best guy I've ever been involved with I am worried to stipulate over him needing time with family (especially one graduating) as a time to throw in the towel.
People keep telling me go date someone else. I'm never invested if I'm feeling someone else and I've really combed this nasty dating pool around me. It's awful and abusive to some degree.
Yes! I love what you shared thank you Sabrina :)
I think it's of the utmost importance of when you are on a date with someone who is a single dad that all of the attention is focused on the woman. Huge.
Have you reached out to him and shared how you are feeling about not seeing him for so long and or having that gap between. It may be a good idea to share simply from the space that you are just sharing what is going on for you. It may be a great thing to share that for yourself as it's what seems to be going on for you.
It sounds like you want to be with him, and that this is the best guy that you have ever been involved with and I'm happy to hear that. Let me know how it goes and I wish the nothing but happiness and love!
@@XxEtHaN39xX Thank you so much for the reply, I really appreciate you taking that time.
Speaking to him is something I know needs to happen, but I don't know how to word it. Father of one, step of two more, business owner, attending a weekly class, unless he consciously puts it aside with purpose he has no designated days off besides parent weekends. I sense he's very overwhelmed and I don't want to strike the iron at the wrong time and ruin the progress. I know that's a lot of thought towards him versus myself, but that's how I function and also something I'm going to reflect on before I initiate the conversation.
It's not an excuse, but I don't know if I appear a source of stability to him, and he's just not mindful that you still need to nurture even the most secure things if you want them to stay such. He has admitted sometimes he feels like he's just putting out fires and things have to be fires for him to address them when he's overwhelmed. Same time, he has directly and explicitly thanked me for being patient, that it's meaningful to him, and that I don't hound him for more frequent messages or that he can be slow to reply. So I'm constantly being told that he does know what might be hard on me, but also that it's easement in his life perhaps that I'm low maintenance (kind of). No, I don't know how to possibly take that either.
I just don't want to find weeks from now it was all for naught. We haven't even had a conversation about what we're doing/where we're going, just a lot about our styles of dating and approaches to the people we date. I would hope if somehow something were different with me he'd have verbalized to me.
I'll come back when developments happen.
Dude, I have so many questions it should be it's own show 😂🤣🤦♀️
none of these points have anything to do with being a single father, these red flags go to dating ANYBODY.
Yeah they do, and a lot of them are ALSO tailored to dating a single dad.
At the end of the day, it’s all about their kIdS… the new partner will always be the least prioritized, so it is pointless to give them affections 🖕🏻
#basedonexperience
It sounds like you are very upset and angry that in the relationship with the single dad you weren't prioritized. That probably lead you to feel unworthy and loveable in which you most likely began to build resentment for your ex and the kids which probably lead to the relationship deteriorating and then here you are leaving a comment and projecting your anger onto other situations instead of dealing with the hurt that you have felt and experienced yourself.
I get it, and I don't agree that your comment is the absolute truth... I think it's relative yes as in that is what you were experiencing but absolute I don't think so.
Hope you have a great day :)
FACTS
Depending on the timing, the single dad's kids need to come first. A new woman in his and his kid's life can come later. Stabilize the relationship with the children first, then and only then, the single dad's pleasures. That's where single parenting has to be responsible, IMHO
I disagree with the 1st point. I was honest with my exgf about my exwife about how our kids & I were abused. I made it a point not to bring their mom up unless asked.
Hey man, thanks for sharing :) I would love to know more about what you mean by abused?
@@XxEtHaN39xX I used to be military so she was wise enough not to get physical with me, but she used my time away from home to abuse our kids. I have never been able to prove she physically abused them, but she eventually got so comfortable verbally & emotionally abusing them, she turned it to me. At some point she began to routinely call our very young daughters cunts (among others) to their faces. I had already began to notice behavioral changes in our kids b/c of this & started working to leave the army. I took back control of the family & she went off the rails further, though I didn't know at that time. I made it a point to do everything for our kids from then on. My oldest stopped having gastro issues caused by stress & fear, my middle stopped being aggressive with everyone, especially my youngest who is special needs. I made sure they all felt safe & showed them how to deal when they were upset. By then, I found my then wife's affairs & hidden money. In the 11 years we were together, I didn't even so much as raise my voice to her. All I ever asked was that we lived within our means & work towards a better life. I gave her a year to fix her mess, she wouldn't do it, continued using tinder. She eventually left town, without our kids or anything to allow them to visit her. Barely making ends meet, I put aside my issues to be my kids' therapist b/c I couldn't afford a real 1.After 2 years of primary custody, mom moves back to town & I get downgraded to 50/50 b/c in the judges words "the abuse isn't ongoing". Within months of 50/50, my oldest is now suicidal & the middle is returning to being aggressive. I could've forgiven my exwife if she had simply said "I can't do this anymore" rather than hurt our kids in the process of hurting me. I tried so hard to keep my family together until she said "I'm the mother, I'll get custody no matter what". She's not sorry 1 bit for all the damage she's caused & I will never forgive her for that. The day I filed for custody & divorce, I cried as if my family had physically died. I say all this to also say, when my mind was made up, I focused on what was best for the kids. I didn't & don't give a damn about their mother. I held her feet to the legal fire until our case was closed & I don't speak of this to my kids.
@@gregharn1 Wow man. That is quite the experience and I first want to share that I'm sorry you, and your children had to experience that. It sounds very scary, traumatic, and chaotic for everyone. It's really cool to hear that you have stepped up, and taken on the responsibility for your family and your kids and was there for them to feel safe and showed them how to deal with their feelings (THAT IS HUGE).
Where are you know with custody, are you guys still doing 50/50 or are they back. in your care?
Fuck man. I can't stop thinking of what an inspiration you are for showing up for your family in the ways you have.
@@XxEtHaN39xX I appreciate your response! I don't feel like I've done anything special, I did what a father should do. It was heartbreaking & infuriating to realize the biggest danger to my family was coming from the person I was supposed to trust most. Unfortunately, our permanent orders are 50/50. Apparently there's a good 2-3 year gap that has to occur before anything can be reevaluated. It rips me apart not knowing how they're being treated for 2 weeks at a time. Mostly psychological & emotional manipulation judging by my 12yo's behavior. Thankfully she seems to have greatly improved over the holidays when she got away from several unhealthy individuals. Breaks my heart though that my 6yo has started to cry about going back.
@@gregharn1 That sounds like a hard thing see your own kids suffer while being in care of their own parent. I hope they can get away from those abusive situations because it's not their job to take on adult emotions and try to process it all.
..what about me, I am over protective of my 8 year old daughter. She is the center of the universe. We traveling the world 2 of us. This September we coming to New York from South Africa. I tried dating couple of times and I tried introducing 1 lady who turned out to be an alcoholic and party frik. Now I have a policy if over scrutinizing woman to a point of annoying them. Some dump me, I sabotage myself. I hope it will get better....
It's cool to hear that you see your daughter as the centre of the universe homie :) I'm also sure that with time you will and it will get better. AND I would love to hear about where you are now with everything!
Well I guess my situation is a little different I am in a relationship with a 63 old man with 8 year old girl I am 53 with grown kids we live in different states I met his family he met some of my kids I met his daughter we get along find her biological mom has not been her life since was born he is black he met a Hite couple that has help him out with his daughter and she calls them mom and dad I met them too .it's been a Year now and now he is saying that he wants to talk about the long distance relationship then he says he is not ready for nobody to be attach to his daughter and that he works a full time job and needs to dedicate his to his daughter he is a lawyer
Hey April, thank you for sharing and I'm sorry to hear that after a year he has brought that up to you. I think you get to sit with wether or not you want to be with a man who isn't willing to give himself to you fully or at least that's what it seems from the comments that you've wrote. I hope you are well
Oh I am glad I left him alone I knew I wasn't crazy
Glad to hear you did :)
Like your videos broh and you looks amazing 💞
Thank you :)
Thank you agree 💯
I'm glad you do :)
Thank you
I wish RUclips existed in the 90’s!
everyone deserves second chances. if he is a single dad and a great personality which i can communicate and get along of course i would marry him
I agree with you fully :) Everyone does deserve a second chance. If they are beautiful human being and their intentions aren't malevolent I think they deserve all the chances.
Are you OK
You cannot say that I’m gonna put my child first and not have time do you know what it’s like to raise a two-year-old child being a single father and lose five hours of work a day have to leave work early to make dinner for your child because she has to be asleep by seven
You can’t say that somebody or a single father saying that they don’t have enough time that there’s something wrong with that because I don’t have the time and I really wish I did to meet somebody or do something and it’s not an excuse to rephrase your words
Jj J man I can totally understand and relate to everything you have shared in this comment section. Where is the time, how do you make the time, is there even time. Those are legit things that single dads and fathers experience and at times don't have. I truly believe that there will come a time when you do have the time, and are willing to make the time in whatever way shape and form that looks like. Just like you have made a way out of no way of raising your daughter in the ways in which you have. I'm here cheering you on brother, from one dad to another. I appreciate the hell out of you!
Lol what ?
If you can’t love her as much then she ain’t the right one. She is someone who will be around your kid and influence your kid. So no you can’t build a hierarchy. She is either family or not.
im dating a 47 year old who baby his 9 year old son who still sleeps with him in his bed while i sleep in the son room i hate it there is no us it’s just him and his son
Girl that's crazy.exit!
Okay, two things:
1: Your beard is growing back pretty fast. LOL!
2: Welcome back to RUclips. It's been a while. Good to see you again.
Okay...
#1) I died laughing reading that comment.. it's this new cream you can buy called instant beard hahah.
#2) Thank you :) Your comment made me post a video today and for that sir I am grateful for you !
Nice
Thank you :)
You are welcome 😊
😘😘
But how to fit in a women when we have no family or friends to help with kids. How go on dates and build a sex life? Singel dad 2 kids 9 and 8. Full time , mom away on restraining orders.
I feel dumber
Please tell me more homie 🙌🏼
@Brandon......somehow I am with ya. I feel worse about myself and my prospects for a future relationship as a single mom...
💯
Speaking Truth !
Dude you have no idea
Hahaha well if I don't have an idea. I sure as hell would love to hear your ideas haha
I thought it was pretty accurate.
:(
What is the downy face for?