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An Ignorant Guide to Black Metal
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- Опубликовано: 14 апр 2023
- My Patreon: / coolea
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Black Metal is a genre that consistently remains loved and gatekept from the masses, because of this, most people don't know enough about the harsh but beautiful genre, so here is the most ignorant guide I could jumble together from my hard drive full of memes and music from Bandcamp.
My Music: / vbpvx
Animations and Drawings:
@youth_in_asia
Black Metal, Mayhem, Burzum, Bathory, Venom.
Black Metal is actually Venom's second album, just to correct myself before more people get needlessly vexed.
Ikr since when did we all have to be history buffs to talk about metal
Vexed and vomit hexed
They considered Welcome to Hell as a demo album - so you can argue it either way.
Needlessly Vexed = good band name
I am vexed, but never unnecessarily so.
Black metal has completely ruined my taste in music. I can no longer listen to anything and enjoy it if it doesn’t sound like it was recorded with a tin can and the worst guitar tones possible. I love it
Just listen to gg allin i heavily recommend the suicide sessions and also the instrumental version of it aswell that might change your mind
@@slent5346 Could be worse, and it's not black metal.
@@PkPvre so?
i feel you, i also sprinkle in some noise just to have a palette cleanser
@@slent5346 I’m actually a huge fan of GG. I bought some of his stuff from Merle a few years ago
what a wholesome genre
ruclips.net/video/liNpBNIhpJY/видео.html&pp=ygUcbGV0IHRoZSBkYXJrbmVzcyBzd2FsbG93IHlvdQ%3D%3D - the 6:20 part really sums up my feelings about black metal
Good fun for the average satanic family.
That is both an over and understatement
Nah it sucks. Who paints there faces anyway? Why not just wear a bag? If you make this music as a joke i understand but if youre serious something wrong with you
Good for your children 🤘💜🖤🧡
Heard the Mayhem lore for like 100th time. Never gets old
its so fucked its funny
i know right?
same
"666!"
@@vergon6662 welp someone ruined it
Black metal is when the band records during a blizzard with all the windows open with one crappy mic in the recording room, and the entire band is outside the building. Gotta love a rough mix with tons of mic pops!
It is for posers. Real black metal is recorded on a Chinese voice recorder inside a running toilet room of an old Soviet train riding between two forgotten African villages.
i am pretty sure the reasons one of my old car´s speakers blew is listening to BM in it.
dont show valfar this comment
I picture it as more like the band is recording in a bathroom through walkie talkies.
Bit cold, innit?
If you really want an elitist to hate you, tell them that you like a band that was formed after the 90s
Not really
Or tell them you like Dissection.
just say you like mayhem
@@-47- elitist caught
Just bring the entire genre's frothing idiot rabies hate and say you like Ghost.
I think it's actually interesting to mention how insane most of the initial norwegian scene was about LotR. Contrasts a lot with the kind of "criminal" "edgy" vibes these guys had, Varg himself was (and still is) a tabletop games nerd, openly in love with DnD, creator of his OWN rpg, even the name Burzum was inspired by LotR. Most atmospheric black metal bands today are inspired by LotR and all that fantasy themes.
Because BM is for nerds
that influences my preference for atmoblack, the edgy themes are stupid imo, i just like the sounds
@@vavra222 cool blog post
Burzum means darkness in the dark tongue of mordor
That’s why I love it
You're recounting of Euronymous' death was both very accurate and inaccurate at the same time and it made me laugh so much
For dead’s death he forgot to mention the brain and skull stuff :(
I died when he pronounced black sabbath as black sabbaFFFF
This is the kind of music that I would put in a party in the background, if I would attend parties. And if I had friends.
hey, not having fans is part of liking Black metal lol.
listening to bm and having friends isnt going along
Having friends is something for normal people.
Coolest black metal listener
Dw I have no friends either cuz I'm to socially anxious
I love black metal, its caotic, it sounds like it was recorded on a potato but for some reason I find it weirdly calming?? Like the ambiance, the distortion and the harsh vocals just make me feel relaxed. When I started getting into the black metal scene I had an anxiety attack and I listened to Darkthrone to calm down, it worked great :)
Some really atmospheric and oddly comforting bands I’ve been listening to lately are Black Stag Rising and and Izthmi. Hope ya enjoy! I’d also love to hear some suggestions since it’s always dicey navigating through Black Metal.
I think bm was the catalyst genre that got me into drone and noise music, which also relaxes me too
nah u js corny
Inquisition really nails that hypnbanging thing
ive gotten close to falling asleep while listening to darkspace more than once (in a good way)
I'd complain about the low mic quality, but I think it fits the genre you're covering
I’m not a big black metal fan but The Burzum Filosofem is what black metal should be. That album just has grit, anger, pain, and coldness to it. Say what you want about the guy but that album is a work of creative genius. It was done in a pure raw way.
I feel it's fine to separate art from the artist. Varg is an ass overall and a weirdo but I like some of his songs.
@@MalikethTheBlackBlade1 he’s got an unusual up bringing for most. Being around a bunch of people full of their own bs and being young and going to prison can do that to you. No doubt he’s a little off. Though most people with that level of creativity are a little off and weird. Or misunderstood.
@@EViLGrEEn42090 I get being misunderstood and I feel a lot of people who like this genre are in fact misunderstood but these guys knew what they were doing in portraying the image that they wanted, they were very self aware. I'm saying he's a weirdo cause of his beliefs, I didn't really care too much about them but then I read that he was a supporter and sympathizer with some terrorist fuck named Anders Behring Breivik. Your name being associated with someone like him is just awful.
@@EViLGrEEn42090 he is a cold blooded murder and a nazi this is like as evil as it gets. Tho I still love Filosofem
@@EViLGrEEn42090he was more than a little off, back when this was all happening it wasn’t uncommon to just meet mayhems band members especially considering euros record store was a big metal head hang out spot. Every account I’ve seen from that time mutually agree that dead was quiet and kept to himself, Euro when your just talking to him about anything other than his beliefs was kind and that varg was a total nut job
vargs music: 🕊
vargs life: ☠
Isn't it the other way around?
@@HubCityManhahaha not at all
The best part of being a black metal fan is all the great music and the thick athmosphere, the worst part is all the other black metal fans
Don't worry, we don't like you either.
its what keeps the normies and sjws out, nothing kills a scene more than co-opting and marketability
@@bake-io1cf true, if us fans can't stand each other, then outsiders can't for sure
Agreed lol
Black metal is one of my favorite subgenres. I love hearing the Mayhem story over and over. Rest in peace, Dead
Best thing about Black Metal: it is the most badass and at the same time most hilarious genre ever.
The blackest it gets, the higher the risk of turning into a monochromatic circus full of satanic pandas.
Maybe that's why I like Abbath from -Immortal- Abbath. He doesn't take himself too seriously, yet he's a hell of a BM icon.
Unfortunately he hasn’t released quality music in more than 20 years.
@@nebelnebel28 Yeah, too bad.
Satanic Pandas😂😂😂😂. I loved that
@@carolinaamnell5577 With all due respect. I love Black Metal, but I also know how to smile and laugh, even if that isn't considered "trve kvlt" lol.
@@nebelnebel28Hate forest
NSBM and RABM fans finding each other at the thigh highs store
The fact that police knew about Varg killing Euro and decided to do absolutely nothing to stop him is hilarious :D
"we should wait until we are sure Euronymous is no more, then do something about it."
The cops were simply performing a service to the community.
@@droopy_eyes How can you be a white supremacist and also be anti-Christianity? Is that even possible?
Man, i laughed so hard at "what led a classicaly trained musicians to this moment" Subscribed.
You’re not black metal if you cannot recite “dunkelheit” lyrics in a dark forest 🔥🤘🔥
I played Dunkelheit for my son about half an hour after he was born. He's 2 and a half and still loves Burzum. Lol
Poser
@@anongoat we're all posers in the end
When… night falls… she cloaks… the world… in impenetrable… darkness…
A chill… rises… from the… soil… and contaminates the… air…
Suddenly… life… has… new… meaning…
@@chemistryofquestionablequa6252Today's poser is tomorrow's gatekeeper
black metal is just so silly, i love it, it's a little cringey, the outfits are funny, it sounds like shit and the fans can be questionable sometimes. the history is wild and generated a lot of edgelords but i enjoy it anyways
yeah it's honestly a super fun genre with a lot of variety. amazing sound as well, from the very old to the very recent. decent amount of active projects too; i can name at least 5 albums that came out this year that i really enjoyed
Apparently, the cover of Darlthrone's 1994 album make people giggle as soon as they look at it. It was supposed to be avant garde but it just comes across as supremely silly.
Yeah their fans can be questionable most of the times for sure
What's wrong with the fans?
My favourite subgenre is the Depressive Suicidal BM. It truly captures the coldness and that wish to die when you're listening to it.
Too sad that is impossible to play that in front of civilization.
You choose to wallow in your own misery, seems like you almost romanticize it. Sad you only have one life, and you chose this.
Have you tried listening to anything that isn't as shit
@@LilithMud there´s a band called Thy Light too, it´s really great
@@LilithGXx Xasthur, Coldworld, and Shining are some of the best. I will admit most bands labeled DSBM are terrible... If you picked through a list of DSBM bands there's only like 4 you're gonna like. Hard genre do properly, but when they do Holy shit.
One of my new favorites is a band called None, especially their album "Damp Chill Of Life." The song Total Leaning To Madness by Psychonaut 4 is an absolute masterpiece. And i also second about Thy Light, especially the "Suici.De.Pression" album. Corny as the album name is lol
I don't know why I like this genre, I know it's silly, I know it's edgy, I know it's made up largely of n4zis, I know it sounds like an animal dying in parts. But it's weird... it's like liking horror movies, it's something that you know makes a lot of people uncomfortable, it makes YOU uncomfortable sometimes, but you like it.
True. Nice pfp by the way, Hylics rules!
It's largely made up of Nazis. What the fuck is a "n4zi"?
perfect synopsis of what makes the absurdity of black metal so enjoyable, terrifying, hilarious, and hateable. its like a circus on meth thats also on fire filmed on black and white film and its truly a spectacle to behold
Only the early black metal musicians were kinda nazis (and the incels online ofc) but u should listen to more of the recent and underrated bands that came after the early waves Like Mgla, Batushka, kreigsmaschine etc etc. also Bathory rules
@@catbuzza1657 unfortunately that's not true there's definitely still quite a few nazi edgelords in modern bm
Makes a nice change to hear about the influence VENOM had,and I was glad to hear the real history behind black metal .
Blackened thrash*, we can thank quorthon!
partially real, the mayhem album cover thing is fake, euronymous took the pics but that album cover was a bootleg made by a fan for a live compilation album. Since the bassist at the time of dead's suicide was adamantly against using the pics for obvious reasons and he left the band until euro got rid of them.
I can never get into black metal but some individual elements from it mixed into other genres always sounds sweet
Varg kicking consoles is about as real as it gets.
There was also a rivalry between the Finnish and Norwegian scenes, I don't remember where I read or heard about this but apparently one of the Finnish bands kept calling a Norwegian one (I forget which band for either case) and would play a sped up and reversed tape of nursery rhymes as a joke, which they interpreted as a cryptic death threat made by someone else in Norway.
There was but it wasnt a big one. The rivalry was really between death metal, black metal is a reaction to death metal's more cleaner and mainstream evolution during the mid 90s especially when they got in the major labels. Darkthrone did get flak from Finland for releasing a death metal album before their black, which to their eyes made the switch to bm one made for clout ala Post Malone/Vanila Ice. Obviously thats not true tho 😂
Other music fans: your favorite genre is bad, black metal fans: we know
No one hates Metal more than the fans lol. We're all nerdy edgelords
WE'RE?!?!? 😯
fuckin' A
I have definitely accepted how much of a fucking edgelord I am
Really love that you put in the effort to make your character look like they're talking. Most people don't do that and it gets really stale.
Black metal is probably my favourite subgenre but fuck I had most other black metal fans. Elitist, antisocial and annoying. Bro I just want to listen to Eldamar and Galdr while walking through a forest
Same here. I just want to enjoy my music in peace and quiet and not be reminded of how terrible some people who happen to share an interest as me are. Like, come on man.
People always say that black metal is more about theatrics than the music and as someone who actually enjoys the music, I feel like a chump thats falling for the joke when people say that lmfaooo.
This is some funny shit and informative, nice!
On a semi unrelated note,
I love black metal to pieces but honestly have never really cared about the whole Dead and Euronomous thing, I don't know why people idolise them and whatnot. Just 1 band/occurrence in the vast landscape of black metal bands. But I suppose the whole thing does help bring teens towards black metal and stuff.
Despite the edgy aspects to black metal and how harsh most of it sounds, it's ironically the most beautiful and relaxing music I've ever heard. Don't give a crap about what's "trve kvlt" or what black metal is "meant" to represent, or any of the political bullshit surrounding some of it. I'm just here to enjoy the music and the music is great. Never in my life have I heard a black metal band I don't enjoy, it's just always good to me.
Love how varied Black metal is but always so good.
Nice emit pfp
@@LoveroftheTalmud Love Emit.
"beautiful"
It sounds like bears in a wood chipper. Point out any beauty in that.
Grand Belial's Key fan?
@@NeroAngelo616 Yeah GBK is great! Their third album is my favourite.
I fucking adore black metal and its offshoots and crossovers with other styles. I love everything from the serious ritualistic work of Watain, Schammash, and Belphegor, to the cheesiness of Immortal and comedy of The Black Satans.
Regarding black metal: Was Norway having a mental health crisis in the late 80's?
Wouldn't be surprising lol.
I love your editing style, it really helps my ADHD
same
This video is amazing, thank you
expanding on blackgaze, Amesoeurs is a sick band that throws a lil post punk influence
super well done video though subbed
Altar of Plagues blows every other post black or blackgaze band away imo.
Sadness
is black gaze really the best? or is it dsbm?
Literally not Black Metal.
amesoeurs is more post punk mixed with shoegaze IMO
STOP... watching porn
"Welcom to Hell," was Venoms first album released in 1981. "Black Metal" was their second album. Arguably, that's where genre gets its name from
read pinned comment
"Black Metal" was actually Venom's second album, released in 1982.@@coolea
I’ve been listening to this crap since I was like 13 and yeah you summed it up quite perfectly!
Forteresse is a great band I recently found with the quintessential trash can soundscape if anyone is interested
I do love me some Atmospheric Black Metal. Been listening to Lustre a lot lately, it's pretty calming.
Why no mention of Xasthur when talking about DSBM tho?
Also soylencer
damn that was actually a pretty good and funny video that isnt too long.
you definetely deserve more subs!
loving the symphonic cat at 6:57
Sam Hyde killed Euronymous…we HAVE to stop him.
What?
HE CAN'T KEEP GETTING AWAY WITH IT!
in self defence ;)
@@NeroAngelo616Sam Hyde is a stupid lil RUclipsr all the cringe edgelords watch the kind of edgelords that still think “haha whites guy said the n word so funny”
Dude I really enjoy your deep dives to music genres, please keep it up man it’s awesome 🤘🏾
Can’t believe you went through the whole vid without mentioning dungeon synth.I’d like to see you make a video about it and its’ sub genres
@@droopy_eyes What..
@@droopy_eyes I mean you aren't wrong...
Especially after mentioning Varg and the whole LOTR fantasy aspect. I think Satyricon really mastered the Dungeon Synth ambience with Black Metal sound the best though.
won't lie that I was expecting a Dungeon Synth mention.
hopefully he will do a dedicated video about it in the future
Dungeon synth became one of my favorite genres cuz of modern acts like örnatorpet and aindulmedir, I love it so much and I was hopin it would show up here
Great Video dude. Your editing skills are great and make this video hilarious. I'm glad you talked about Blackgaze too.
Informative and funny as phuck. Incidentally I love Deafheaven and Ulver because they don't sound like they record through old pilot helmet microphones.
6:26 burzum is not dsbm!!!
Saying the slower pace of and themes of early Burzum music didn't inspire DSBM is a bit silly imo.
@@coolea I'm not saying burzum didn't inspire dsbm, I'm saying it's not dsbm. none of the lyrical themes are depressive or suicidal. from what I know, varg vikernes is not depressed or suicidal. and the music itself isn't depressing. burzum sure inspired dsbm(especially the vocal style) but it's just not dsbm.
well…some of his songs sound a lot like dsbm
@@dame9187 yeah, but it's still not dsbm
the clip of varg as an old man just kicking the air killed me
Vargs life be like:
creates the best black metal album ever
Kills a Man
Goes to prison
Becomes a Nazi
Gets out of prison
Becomes an online shitposter
@@maxbarker8625 Picks up a wife
Moves into the middle of nowhere in France
Has a bunch of kids
Dodges terrorism charges like he's Neo
@@federationprime absolutely,
Self diagnoses as autistic along with his wife
I masquerade as a normal person but deep down I’m a mayhem fan
Euronymous also took pieces of his deceased friends skull and made necklaces out of them and gave those to people he thought were deserving.
> "I made all the music in this vid but will not release it because it sucks."
God damnit, I was gonna ask about the clip at 5:10.
That is Painkiller by Judas Priest, with the audio from the video Black Metal Idol and distorted guitar I recorded over the top, I won't release that becuase it uses too many elements of other shit, just there for the meme.
Made me remember the time I was a TRVE CVLT poser in 2011, while I presented the Euronymous/Vikernes arc in a presentation to the class. Now I kinda think that part of BM is so boring. Blackgaze/post-black and cosmic BM is one of the best genres in music
Could you recommend cosmic black metal bands
@@jasonvader7246 darkspace are great
@@jasonvader7246 Lumnos, Midnight Odyssey, the lost sun, mesarthrim come to mind, not BM but still cosmic: ISON, ATAVISTIA are worth it too
@@CustomStoryGatherers Burzum prime has aged beautifully since it's the roots of all the atmospheric, ambient and drone acts that have come from it. Mayhem, for more straightforward "orthodox" style.
@@jasonvader7246 Inquisition, Mare Cognitum, and Darkspace. If you like Darkspace, check out Paysage d'Hiver because the same person runs that project as well, and it is basically the same thing but with a winter soundscape instead of a cosmic soundscape.
Dude, thanks for the videos you make. I have been binging your videos learning about all these awesome new bands to listen to. I have listened to punk for years but have been wanting to expand my horizons. Thank you for all your effort.
I cannot believe he said “you don’t even need fingers to be successful” (Herr Suizid reference)
As a young black metal fan i with to become a face paint smothered, leather encased grimy, 60 year old smoker voiced hellshit, spot on stuff :)
Gen Z posser.
@@generalkrow i’m actually not a poser, i listen to a lot of black metal, i most enjoy dark funeral and mayem, and i also listen do dreath metal and stuff! My favourite songs are unchain my soul and aterra totus sanctus by dark funeral and leech by angelmaker!
YWNBAW
based enby
lovin them Ozzy clips. 👌🏻
Black metal to me is like brown noise.
Calming distorted noise.
listening to the discussion while looking at absurd memes.
cool video bro i like the edit 🗿👌
Venoms first album was welcome to hell. Black metal was their second album
Corrected myself in pinned comment.
It says “ignorant” in the title, what did you expect when you clicked on it. @@coolea good vid.
Indeed
great video
love how much the genre has to offer
Kinda tragic how u put Burzum as dsbm and not as atmospheric, being one of the most influential projects for the subgenre as a whole. I've never seen anyone else catalogue Burzum as dsbm
ok
@@coolea lol
yeah and mütiilation aswell. I was expecting lifelover or psychonaut 4
7:14 disliked the video poser!
nigga
the way you explain things itches my brain sooooo gooddddd
hey Coolea i love the way your videos feel. the memes are so funny i love how they work with the vid. Keep it Up.
the virgin "waah this isn't authentic" vs the chad "i like this song because it sounds good"
Siding with the Chad.
Also, big asterisk for the word “authentic” there.
What about Cradle of Filth?
Funny video man😅
Cradle Of Filth.. LOL!
They play Dark Metal nowadays, online the early stuff is Black Metal 😂
Actually, the music is good but Dani Filth sounds like a rabid Jack Russell Terrier on meth. -_- Otherwise, listenable.
I actually find black metal terrifying, and not in a good way. Guys from Burzum or Mayhem are just evil people. The whole genre seems evil.
To this day, I still believe that Dead had Cotard's syndrome, last estatment.
Well-informed and passionate overview, power to you dude! You deserve all the more subs!
my ucle is in dimmu borgir
I like my coffee how I like my metal, black. I like my toast how I like my church', burnt lol
Do stoner metal next I feel like you know about electric wizard
this is such an amazing video lmfao
0:10 holy fucking shit the soyjak over the literal corpse album art
Your editing is so similar to Jixaw and I love you for that
Elderwind is great, so is eldemar and caladan brood if ur lookin for atmospheric bm
I'm just saying
if it sounds like it was recorded on anything more expensive than microwaved tape passing through literal dollar store magnets and a paper cone then I don't want it
"leaving only a studded belt..."
Well done sir.😊🎉
5:35 missed an opportunity to put the darkthrone logo on to top right corner
Bal sagoth mentioned. Video liked and channel subscribed
Ok but burzum > mayhem
Both are good
@@yungvofficialmayhem sucks in comparison to burzum
@@texicothugger Burzum is better by miles, but I still love Mayhem. I usually listen to Mayhem Pre 1995, but every Buru album is timeless.
Crispity crunchy metal how absurd
DSBM's where it's at
this made me choke from laughter fr, great video bro
btw you forgot about NSBM, aka never sad black metal, the opposite of DSBM
Good one. 😂
I love the idea of ignorant guides to different genres of rock/metal. Gonna watch them all now!
Holy shit im ficking dying. He said jokingly that it was a good idea to keep mentally ill edgelords in a house in a forest 2gtr and I LOST IT OMG I IMAGINED THEM AS A CONTENT HOUSE
Excellent video, man. Congrats for the good work
Do GG ALLIN it would be great
'Poop.' *credits roll*
I wouldnt say Ulver was atmospheric black metal, I'd say it was black folk metal
it was not but since the whole video is pure sarcasm you should take that comment with a grain of salt
@@theuselessdrunk why was it not folk metal
@@LordSummerIsle73 no i say it wasnot atmospheric bm
@@theuselessdrunk ahhhh I see
You absolutely could not have even said this any better whatsoever. Bravo m8
I CANT STOP LAUGHING OVER THIS VIDEO LMAOO THE CLIPS ARE MAKING ME PISS MYSELF
3:41 i dont think euronymous intended to make the picture as an album cover. the picture was stolen a few years after euros death and made into a bootleg
No, As far as I'm aware he very much intended to use the photo in the way it ended up. If I remember correctly, he even gifted some pieces of the skull to close friends.
4:47 It's interesting because besides Venom, the OG black metal groups like Bathory came from Sweden. Overall great video and analysis as usual 👍
ooh the mayhem story... haven't heard that one before...
just stumbled on this video because it came in recommended feed, and that's an instant subscribe for me. question, what are some of the key bands for krispity krunchity black metal? the anger of the frozen pizza in the oven for too long is a feeling very well known to me, and I think I would really enjoy this subgenre.
Impaled Nazarene
Gorgororth, Mayhem, Behemoth, Judas Inscariot
@@johntiter2825 Presumably you're talking OLD Behemoth?
Well you did say this was an ignorant guide so I can't really blame you