I’m a 3 for sure, I base all my self worth on others’ perception of me and I always feel like I need to be the best in the room in order to be worthy. I also definitely identify with the “vanity of having no vanity”. While on the inside I am always comparing myself to others, I act extremely humble and even self deprecating because I don’t want people to see how superficial I actually am. I am a little confused about why 3s are said to be not emotionally intelligent. I have always been extremely aware of my feelings and the feelings of others. I can read a room very well and I can fake emotions convincingly if necessary. I must not be like other 3s in this way. I am also introverted, and I’m definitely not a workaholic. I can find myself actually being kind of lazy at times, and I want people to take care of me for a change because I often feel like I am contributing more than them.
Are you a wing 4? Perhaps that were added for the contribution of in touch with emotions (eventhough conflicting) and the statement ''vanity of having no vanity''. If not, probably more leaning to it currently, no? Sorry in advanced if I was mistaken, just observing my brother whose a 3w2 and my bf which possibly 3w4. PS: Also with the last sentence, I assumed you wanted to go to w2 for a change as w4 really does contribute a lot.
@@emilyantiqua I see, also given by the previous statement you're not workaholic. So do you emphasis on to organize and clean more than work? Hope you don't mind me asking, I just wanna know my assumptions through my past observations are true or not.
I'm a 4w3. My dad is a 7 so it's funny to watch a 7 try to understand a 4 😂. So very different. 4s aren't bitter and dark, at least not myself, they are authentic. Much of what is missing in America. Otherwise I understand the metaphor.
If people want to get to know the four, they're in for heavy stuff. Now if you lure them into liking you by putting on a type 3 outer shell and they think they like you all shiny and cute, they'll have quite a surprise when you let your real 4ness come to the light! I personally think it's better not to play a persona, because people at least know what they have and they'll love you or leave you for who you truly are. Sad thing is that not many people "get" 4s. Good thing is that 4s don't really care to have a billion superficial friends.
Well i think 4s can try to bring heavy topics to light in a more palpable way, because people generally don't want to be scolded / vented at a lot lol.
@@sporogymno I have found that as a four I need to partner with someone to help my message come across diplomatically. Or else I just peace out of a conversation if I know I won't be heard.
As a 3 with a heavy 4w, I’m very well aware of all of my flaws. That’s why I must hide them to the best of my ability. What if people saw how much I can screw up? Ahaha, maybe that’s why love Stain’d and that song The Outside so much. “Cuz inside you’re ugly, you’re ugly like me...” I think the real discussion is how do you make the inside pretty like the outside? I have so many things to hide... in the mean time, I’ll just keep making the shell look good and then feel awkward when complimented😂 (self-pres).
I resonate with what you are saying... I also feel it strongly when I hear songs like "Creep" from Radiohead. It feels honest--but I've also learned that it's not productive to wallow in those feelings, so I'm not there most of the time. When my sister (a 9) tries to talk me out of those feelings (saying things like "you're really special!"), it kind of makes my skin crawl--it feels fake. The candy coating is there so that I can have my negative feelings without bumming other people out. I'm a 4w3, BTW.
Lol well, i think 4s take on the burden of being more open about our weaknesses cuz we don't want people to get disappointed in us. On the positive side, our transparency can hopefully inspire others to realize their icky insides are human and natural.
A very original way of seeing 3s and 4s. I can see it. I have a very good friend and coworker who I suspect is a 3w2. Definitely is a very shiny m&m ahah. Loves titles, accolades, and the whole exterior layer. I try to reach out to her and connect with her deeper self instead, when I get a bit annoyed I keep in mind that 3s are like that and it’s in their coding. :-) I like how the enneagram can makes us more compassionate towards people who are different than us. 90ies Grunge music was so nihilistic and dark. No wonder that pop music got very popular in the early 2000. I think we all needed some sugar and brightness after the doom n gloom.
I’ve been trying so hard to get in touch with my 3 wing again. I used to be a 4w3 but a few years back I became a 4w5 and my 5 wing is HEAVY. I live with a 3w2 (my brother), so I try to look to him for guidance to develop my 3 wing again, but it’s a little difficult to even know where to begin. I think 5 and 3 are so contrasted from eachother. My heavy 5 wing makes me not care what anyone thinks (more so than usual), so it’s very hard for me to channel 3. I’ve been struggling so much with this lately.
Im a 4. I can often date or have friendships with 2,3 and 9s. Is this common? Can u do a compatibility series next and the pros and cons of the couplings in friendships/relationships? 😁
You can be compatible with anyone you love, and are willing to do the work with. Trust me on this, i am married to a 3. ive been married to a 3 for 9 years, Hardest relationship I have ever had. Enneagram helped us to understand one another a little more, but with or without the gram, we love each other, and are willing to do the hard work if any to stay connected.
I think this analogy could really apply to 9s as well, the difference being that instead of the chocolate beneath the colored shell representing negative emotional states, it represents ordinary boring chocolate. I've heard many 9s talk about how they really WANT to find their identity, take a stand for what they believe is right, learn to really be themselves...but because they value that harmony so much, they end up merging with others, going on autopilot, and avoiding standing out. But 9s integrate to 3 so when healthy they end up building that colored shell around the bland & boring milk chocolate, so to speak.
I thought Dr. Tom was going to say...underneath the hard shell is the best part, the chocolate! As a four, if you can get beyond my protective shell, I’m quite sweet😂 I think 4’s can relate?
I think as long as you accept all the ways that I am unique/weird, then I will be quite sweet. If you get past the shell, then try to force me to comform to group-think, then I see that as lack of acceptance I will cut you off. 🙈
Bravo, Dr. Tom! This is one of your best videos! I know a number of 4s and 3s, and what you have said is spot on! BTW, I'm a 6w7, self-preservationist. God bless you with your important work!
As a four, I find that the "sweet spot" of getting me out of my shell is the move to type one. At least when I move forward into action with intention, I get to retain my drive for meaning and purpose and I feel authentic in doing so. The move to the three wing feels more like a cheat or a bandaid; less likely to lead to lasting results.
"Get in touch with your inner blob, guys." I'm saying that next time I speak with someone Me: "I've done a lot of personal work, and feel like I'm really in touch with my shapeless inner blob" Stranger: "look man, I don't have any money. Just let me go home..." Me: "ssssssshhhhhh"
Through your videos, you are an awesome knitting companion. I LOVE the analogies especially regarding the music . I was born in 74, so I totally get it.but also the M&Ms. I am a 9w1 (954) but I know and love a lot of 4's including my mother and this was SO helpful for insight, thank you!
Thank you for this video - it was very helpful, and I quite liked the metaphor :'D Also, I really appreciate you stressing the fact that each type uses both their wings.
Aww. This made me think about how my friends appreciate my outer layer, but I never feel like it matters because of the unflashiness of the inside. (im 4w5 sp)
Green Day are totally different to grunge lol, they're pop punk, punk is a attitude of harnessing anger, grunge is definitely more 4 like, it's a kind of dwelling in woundedness, not acting on it.
Umm I feel weird about “fours are okay with sadness and all” I mean i get really excited to know how does the person in front of me feels about things I wanna know what hurts him and I wanna know his dark side but I’m not always comfortable with bad feelings like sadness or other similar feelings it makes me really sad and it effects me real bad that’s why I’m not 100% ok with sadness and it also reminds me of how much I have been hurt and I would just keep thinking about the things that hurt me even if it was 10 years ago, I’m okay with listening to someone’s sad life story and exploring his past and know the soft side of him but I don’t like getting stuck with unpleasant feelings. That’s actually making me confused, am i really a four? Do all fours have to be non-afraid of bad feelings?
Hello tom I really liked your message I'm a SP 4w5, even if a part of me refuses it, on a deeper level I absolutely agree. I just have something else to add, let's say an alternative to going to a 3 wing, wouldn't it be better for a four to reach out using it's 2 and 1 arrows of developement? I got nothing against 3 (well I do, but not really, you understand) but I think we can connect better to others by hopping directly onto the 2 way of relating to others.
This was interesting. I am unsure of the help in this but.... Ill watch it again for clarity. Dr. I realize that the closest 4 to you, is your daughter , whom you shared has down syndrome. I can just imagine how strong she is. Outside of her, I am curious of whom the 4's are in your life. I feel first.... and something about this particular video, has me wondering about your personal relationships with 4s. I also see that your other daughter is an 8, (Another truth bearer), 8's ,4s, and 7s under one roof, such an intense dynamic, and a (helper) 2, as a wife, very colorful indeed. I love the enneagram its fascinating, we all can learn from one another. I still haven't met one perfect type, and I wouldn't want to be any other. As a fellow Christian myself, I study Jesus, being that we are to imitate him, could it be possible that we are all one body with different functions, called for specific purposes? I just hope theres not a 4 out there watching this, that hates themselves, because this is not the video for you ( my opinion), and to that 4 who struggles with self love........... "The waves will come no matter what, just learn to ride them, and teach someone else how to surf." (Cowabunga!) PS: Rather shiny shell or Bitter chocolate, when put together, its rather tasty. Much Love everyone!
Ade Lita I grew up with late 2000s happy go lucky pop music, most music was party music so as a kid I liked the catchiness however never really connected to music, so I felt left out and the odd one out because the media was telling me to be happy and I just wasn’t cos I’m a 4 and also due to childhood trauma. Music wasn’t a really a comfort until a artist that started getting popular around 2016 (Melanie Martinez). She’s very popular now however at the time of 11 years old I connected to her music because even tho it was pop, it was different and she had creative ways of making beats and her aesthetic was unusual, her lyrics has meaning and I fell in love with it. Then after listening to her people who liked her music introduced me to other musicians/ bands and then people who like those bands/musicians would introduce to other stuff and then the cycle goes on and on. And now I listen to bands like nirvana and green day. And many bands I listen to aren’t thriving as much in today’s culture however still have a big fan base and a lasting effect on music today. I kinda envy 90s kids because they learned from a young age that’s the world is hard but it’s ok to feel angry and sad about it. I never got that I just had to force on a smile and wonder why I felt so down and other kids were genuinely happy and why everything around me was lying to me, it felt patronising just getting happiness shoved down ur throat when ur far from it.
wow, how on earth is *anyone* let alone a 4 supposed to *not* take 3:57 "the wrong way"? unsure the apparent lack of empathy or care shown in this analogy will be helpful which is too bad as know watched other videos before i'd thought were good & maybe it's better for other types but certainly don't think i'll expose myself to more from it re 4s
Sweetheart, you are wrong about the 4s! 😂😂😂😘 The raw, unpolished part of us is the gift we have to offer to the world. We are those ones who can see and acknowledge the dark part of us, while everyone else try to cover/forget about it. I (4w5) personally don't resonate with what you say about the love of grunge music and dark stuff, perhaps I am an healthy version. I do see in me the tendency of stay in the familiar : 'going deeper' and to balance my energy, I consciously move within myself and go into lighter atmospheres and stay there when interacting with people, if that makes sense. For instance, listening to you talking, on one side you sounds too cold and uncaring (😅) but I can acknowledge that feeling, and go beyond it, and appreaciate the different energy you bring to the table. 😊 I love the metaphor of the MMS and the advice for the 4s to care about leaning in our 3s wing and having a colorful and shining shell and viceversa for the 3s! Brilliant! 💛
As a 4 and a dark chocolate fan, how dare you? 😂😂😂 Ok, really, stop it. I am indeed a shapeless blob of darkness, but chocolate doesn't deserve this much insult 😢 if you like chocolate it doesn't matter the shape, it's still delicious. And actually it's better when it's NOT decorated and beautiful, because even if you know there's just a machine mass producing them you still feel bad about ruining the design...
three wing is like deceit and wear faces and be a clown who wants success in “ the eyes of others “ yikes i did all of it there is no love in this world just a misery and self abandonment for others to love you , no one cares who you are no one cares about learning about their own selfs let alone knowing who you truly are and the truth in this world is murdered and buried
I’m a 3 for sure, I base all my self worth on others’ perception of me and I always feel like I need to be the best in the room in order to be worthy. I also definitely identify with the “vanity of having no vanity”. While on the inside I am always comparing myself to others, I act extremely humble and even self deprecating because I don’t want people to see how superficial I actually am. I am a little confused about why 3s are said to be not emotionally intelligent. I have always been extremely aware of my feelings and the feelings of others. I can read a room very well and I can fake emotions convincingly if necessary. I must not be like other 3s in this way. I am also introverted, and I’m definitely not a workaholic. I can find myself actually being kind of lazy at times, and I want people to take care of me for a change because I often feel like I am contributing more than them.
Are you a wing 4? Perhaps that were added for the contribution of in touch with emotions (eventhough conflicting) and the statement ''vanity of having no vanity''. If not, probably more leaning to it currently, no? Sorry in advanced if I was mistaken, just observing my brother whose a 3w2 and my bf which possibly 3w4.
PS: Also with the last sentence, I assumed you wanted to go to w2 for a change as w4 really does contribute a lot.
@@MirthCap yes I have a strong 4 wing! How much I lean into it vs. my 2 wing depends on the situation but I tend towards the 4 side.
@@emilyantiqua I see, also given by the previous statement you're not workaholic. So do you emphasis on to organize and clean more than work? Hope you don't mind me asking, I just wanna know my assumptions through my past observations are true or not.
4w3?
Damn this is literally me🤯 I get often confused whether I’m a 4w3 or a 3w4 too!
I'm a 4w3. My dad is a 7 so it's funny to watch a 7 try to understand a 4 😂. So very different. 4s aren't bitter and dark, at least not myself, they are authentic. Much of what is missing in America.
Otherwise I understand the metaphor.
If people want to get to know the four, they're in for heavy stuff. Now if you lure them into liking you by putting on a type 3 outer shell and they think they like you all shiny and cute, they'll have quite a surprise when you let your real 4ness come to the light!
I personally think it's better not to play a persona, because people at least know what they have and they'll love you or leave you for who you truly are. Sad thing is that not many people "get" 4s. Good thing is that 4s don't really care to have a billion superficial friends.
Well i think 4s can try to bring heavy topics to light in a more palpable way, because people generally don't want to be scolded / vented at a lot lol.
@@sporogymno I have found that as a four I need to partner with someone to help my message come across diplomatically. Or else I just peace out of a conversation if I know I won't be heard.
@amymills3187 Yeah, I realized me and the other person in my life who identified as a 4 are actually 9s with 4 fixes 😂
As a self-preserving 4, I thought “but I don’t let many people see my dark inner blob” and then you got to that😂
a tip : you can watch movies on kaldrostream. Been using it for watching lots of of movies these days.
@Callum Edward Yup, been watching on kaldrostream for years myself :)
@Callum Edward yea, I have been watching on Kaldrostream for since december myself =)
@Callum Edward definitely, have been watching on KaldroStream for months myself =)
@Callum Edward Yea, I have been using kaldroStream for since december myself :)
As a 3 with a heavy 4w, I’m very well aware of all of my flaws. That’s why I must hide them to the best of my ability. What if people saw how much I can screw up? Ahaha, maybe that’s why love Stain’d and that song The Outside so much. “Cuz inside you’re ugly, you’re ugly like me...” I think the real discussion is how do you make the inside pretty like the outside? I have so many things to hide... in the mean time, I’ll just keep making the shell look good and then feel awkward when complimented😂 (self-pres).
I resonate with what you are saying... I also feel it strongly when I hear songs like "Creep" from Radiohead. It feels honest--but I've also learned that it's not productive to wallow in those feelings, so I'm not there most of the time. When my sister (a 9) tries to talk me out of those feelings (saying things like "you're really special!"), it kind of makes my skin crawl--it feels fake. The candy coating is there so that I can have my negative feelings without bumming other people out. I'm a 4w3, BTW.
Lol well, i think 4s take on the burden of being more open about our weaknesses cuz we don't want people to get disappointed in us. On the positive side, our transparency can hopefully inspire others to realize their icky insides are human and natural.
A very original way of seeing 3s and 4s. I can see it. I have a very good friend and coworker who I suspect is a 3w2. Definitely is a very shiny m&m ahah. Loves titles, accolades, and the whole exterior layer. I try to reach out to her and connect with her deeper self instead, when I get a bit annoyed I keep in mind that 3s are like that and it’s in their coding. :-) I like how the enneagram can makes us more compassionate towards people who are different than us.
90ies Grunge music was so nihilistic and dark. No wonder that pop music got very popular in the early 2000. I think we all needed some sugar and brightness after the doom n gloom.
Don’t take this the wrong way! Shapeless flawless blob, deficient outcast... oh alrighty then 😂
lol
Try being a 4w3 artist as a full time career. It’s a tough journey.
4w5 painter /artist.
We can do this! ☺😘
3w4 sound engineer here. Yup.
I’ve been trying so hard to get in touch with my 3 wing again. I used to be a 4w3 but a few years back I became a 4w5 and my 5 wing is HEAVY. I live with a 3w2 (my brother), so I try to look to him for guidance to develop my 3 wing again, but it’s a little difficult to even know where to begin. I think 5 and 3 are so contrasted from eachother. My heavy 5 wing makes me not care what anyone thinks (more so than usual), so it’s very hard for me to channel 3. I’ve been struggling so much with this lately.
Im a 4. I can often date or have friendships with 2,3 and 9s. Is this common? Can u do a compatibility series next and the pros and cons of the couplings in friendships/relationships? 😁
You can be compatible with anyone you love, and are willing to do the work with. Trust me on this, i am married to a 3. ive been married to a 3 for 9 years, Hardest relationship I have ever had. Enneagram helped us to understand one another a little more, but with or without the gram, we love each other, and are willing to do the hard work if any to stay connected.
80's goth and new wave: am I a joke to you??
I’m trying not to be offended be your description of the inside of an m&m. 😂😂
I think this analogy could really apply to 9s as well, the difference being that instead of the chocolate beneath the colored shell representing negative emotional states, it represents ordinary boring chocolate. I've heard many 9s talk about how they really WANT to find their identity, take a stand for what they believe is right, learn to really be themselves...but because they value that harmony so much, they end up merging with others, going on autopilot, and avoiding standing out. But 9s integrate to 3 so when healthy they end up building that colored shell around the bland & boring milk chocolate, so to speak.
How about you let us have our thing, and you have your thing.
For some reason could not stop smiling the whole time I was watching this. Really appreciate this thoughtful video!
I thought Dr. Tom was going to say...underneath the hard shell is the best part, the chocolate! As a four, if you can get beyond my protective shell, I’m quite sweet😂 I think 4’s can relate?
I think as long as you accept all the ways that I am unique/weird, then I will be quite sweet.
If you get past the shell, then try to force me to comform to group-think, then I see that as lack of acceptance I will cut you off. 🙈
Haha I thought the same. The chocolate is the best part! Duh. What is a shell without something delicious and deep and rich to fill it with substance.
I’m a 4 & I was laughing 🙋🏻♀️
But the chocolate is the yummy part!! (4w3 here - I think!)
That music era analogy was priceless! Please consider doing that with all types :)
3w2 here I really resonated with this video. I love the M&M analogy it makes alot of sense. I think after watching this I maybe a 3w4 in actuality.
Bravo, Dr. Tom! This is one of your best videos! I know a number of 4s and 3s, and what you have said is spot on! BTW, I'm a 6w7, self-preservationist. God bless you with your important work!
LMAO, im a 3 and im dying of laughter at the 4 m&m metaphor
As a four, I find that the "sweet spot" of getting me out of my shell is the move to type one. At least when I move forward into action with intention, I get to retain my drive for meaning and purpose and I feel authentic in doing so. The move to the three wing feels more like a cheat or a bandaid; less likely to lead to lasting results.
That's awesome how you've figured out what clicks for you as a type four. Keep embracing your uniqueness!
4W3 tapping in here, this was a really nice video thanks dr. tom
Thanks I think I needed to hear this and I was interested to learn more about myself after work had us take enneagrams today haha (3W4)
"Get in touch with your inner blob, guys." I'm saying that next time I speak with someone
Me: "I've done a lot of personal work, and feel like I'm really in touch with my shapeless inner blob"
Stranger: "look man, I don't have any money. Just let me go home..."
Me: "ssssssshhhhhh"
Through your videos, you are an awesome knitting companion. I LOVE the analogies especially regarding the music . I was born in 74, so I totally get it.but also the M&Ms. I am a 9w1 (954) but I know and love a lot of 4's including my mother and this was SO helpful for insight, thank you!
Thank you so much!
I am the delicious chocolate. My 5w is much developed than my 3w. I must work on that!😊
Thank you for this video - it was very helpful, and I quite liked the metaphor :'D Also, I really appreciate you stressing the fact that each type uses both their wings.
Reminds me of the song Zombie...love it so much. I relate to 4 a lot but 90% sure I'm 9w1 sx, sp
Aww. This made me think about how my friends appreciate my outer layer, but I never feel like it matters because of the unflashiness of the inside. (im 4w5 sp)
I love the analogy, not offended at all as 4w5.
You always have such great insightful information. Thanks for your videos. I'm a 4w 5 and you are always spot on.
Awesome! Thank you!
Type 4 here :) Thank you for the videos! It has been a great help for me
You're so welcome!
I really love this. Thanks Dr. Tom! God bless! ♡
Green Day are totally different to grunge lol, they're pop punk, punk is a attitude of harnessing anger, grunge is definitely more 4 like, it's a kind of dwelling in woundedness, not acting on it.
Punk is more like the sexual 4.
Umm I feel weird about “fours are okay with sadness and all” I mean i get really excited to know how does the person in front of me feels about things I wanna know what hurts him and I wanna know his dark side but I’m not always comfortable with bad feelings like sadness or other similar feelings it makes me really sad and it effects me real bad that’s why I’m not 100% ok with sadness and it also reminds me of how much I have been hurt and I would just keep thinking about the things that hurt me even if it was 10 years ago, I’m okay with listening to someone’s sad life story and exploring his past and know the soft side of him but I don’t like getting stuck with unpleasant feelings.
That’s actually making me confused, am i really a four? Do all fours have to be non-afraid of bad feelings?
Hello tom I really liked your message I'm a SP 4w5, even if a part of me refuses it, on a deeper level I absolutely agree. I just have something else to add, let's say an alternative to going to a 3 wing, wouldn't it be better for a four to reach out using it's 2 and 1 arrows of developement? I got nothing against 3 (well I do, but not really, you understand) but I think we can connect better to others by hopping directly onto the 2 way of relating to others.
This was interesting. I am unsure of the help in this but.... Ill watch it again for clarity. Dr. I realize that the closest 4 to you, is your daughter , whom you shared has down syndrome. I can just imagine how strong she is. Outside of her, I am curious of whom the 4's are in your life. I feel first.... and something about this particular video, has me wondering about your personal relationships with 4s. I also see that your other daughter is an 8, (Another truth bearer), 8's ,4s, and 7s under one roof, such an intense dynamic, and a (helper) 2, as a wife, very colorful indeed. I love the enneagram its fascinating, we all can learn from one another. I still haven't met one perfect type, and I wouldn't want to be any other. As a fellow Christian myself, I study Jesus, being that we are to imitate him, could it be possible that we are all one body with different functions, called for specific purposes? I just hope theres not a 4 out there watching this, that hates themselves, because this is not the video for you ( my opinion), and to that 4 who struggles with self love........... "The waves will come no matter what, just learn to ride them, and teach someone else how to surf." (Cowabunga!) PS: Rather shiny shell or Bitter chocolate, when put together, its rather tasty. Much Love everyone!
I was 100% expecting an analogy about being a nut. Then I remembered that is mounds/almond joy. Either way I think it holds.
Dude sign me up for the dark blobby semi sweet chocolate ♥️
Good information!
What about the 2?
I’m 15 so I wasn’t around in the 90s however I’m a 4 w 5 and I love green day and nirvana 😂
Those were my favorite bands at 15 too! Lol
Grungy stuff helps us express anger and negative emotions. I grew up listening to that.
Ade Lita I grew up with late 2000s happy go lucky pop music, most music was party music so as a kid I liked the catchiness however never really connected to music, so I felt left out and the odd one out because the media was telling me to be happy and I just wasn’t cos I’m a 4 and also due to childhood trauma. Music wasn’t a really a comfort until a artist that started getting popular around 2016 (Melanie Martinez). She’s very popular now however at the time of 11 years old I connected to her music because even tho it was pop, it was different and she had creative ways of making beats and her aesthetic was unusual, her lyrics has meaning and I fell in love with it. Then after listening to her people who liked her music introduced me to other musicians/ bands and then people who like those bands/musicians would introduce to other stuff and then the cycle goes on and on. And now I listen to bands like nirvana and green day. And many bands I listen to aren’t thriving as much in today’s culture however still have a big fan base and a lasting effect on music today. I kinda envy 90s kids because they learned from a young age that’s the world is hard but it’s ok to feel angry and sad about it. I never got that I just had to force on a smile and wonder why I felt so down and other kids were genuinely happy and why everything around me was lying to me, it felt patronising just getting happiness shoved down ur throat when ur far from it.
Hey i'm 4w5 too but over a decade older, I'm happy you learning this stuff I wish I learned about the enneagram in my teens
wow, how on earth is *anyone* let alone a 4 supposed to *not* take 3:57 "the wrong way"? unsure the apparent lack of empathy or care shown in this analogy will be helpful which is too bad as know watched other videos before i'd thought were good & maybe it's better for other types but certainly don't think i'll expose myself to more from it re 4s
I don' t get the comparison here with M&Ms'..sorry..but happy to find myselve in the 5ves..😚🤪😏
Sweetheart, you are wrong about the 4s! 😂😂😂😘
The raw, unpolished part of us is the gift we have to offer to the world. We are those ones who can see and acknowledge the dark part of us, while everyone else try to cover/forget about it.
I (4w5) personally don't resonate with what you say about the love of grunge music and dark stuff, perhaps I am an healthy version.
I do see in me the tendency of stay in the familiar : 'going deeper' and to balance my energy, I consciously move within myself and go into lighter atmospheres and stay there when interacting with people, if that makes sense.
For instance, listening to you talking, on one side you sounds too cold and uncaring (😅) but I can acknowledge that feeling, and go beyond it, and appreaciate the different energy you bring to the table. 😊
I love the metaphor of the MMS and the advice for the 4s to care about leaning in our 3s wing and having a colorful and shining shell and viceversa for the 3s!
Brilliant! 💛
Dr. Tom is a 7? I NEVER would have guessed😱
I feel like Radiohead is the ultimate 4 band/ group 😊
Omg yes. Sail to the moon, especially is my favorite melancholy jam.
As a 4 and a dark chocolate fan, how dare you? 😂😂😂
Ok, really, stop it. I am indeed a shapeless blob of darkness, but chocolate doesn't deserve this much insult 😢 if you like chocolate it doesn't matter the shape, it's still delicious. And actually it's better when it's NOT decorated and beautiful, because even if you know there's just a machine mass producing them you still feel bad about ruining the design...
I’m a 4w5 and I’m not into the grunge or nirvana. Dodie Clark, though 😂😭💖.
Interesting topic! 4 here, I can really relate to this 😅
three wing is like deceit and wear faces and be a clown who wants success in “ the eyes of others “ yikes i did all of it there is no love in this world just a misery and self abandonment for others to love you , no one cares who you are no one cares about learning about their own selfs let alone knowing who you truly are and the truth in this world is murdered and buried
This is a weird title