Dating while Deployed | Talks with Tony

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  • Опубликовано: 25 май 2021
  • Thank you for watching! My videos focus on life, love, and business. I believe in living a balanced and full life. I answer questions from my viewers in the “Talks with Tony” series. Then on Fridays, I speak to the men in the “Man 2 Man” series. On Saturdays, I focus on business and entrepreneurial lessons in the “Small Business Saturdays” series. Then on Sundays, you can catch a motivational message in the “Sunday Sermon” series.
    Resources:
    For online courses in the areas of life, love, and business, and a group mastermind experience visit: tonygaskinsacademy.com
    If you’d like to work with a Coach, Consultant, or Mentor, visit: mymentor.life
    If you’re in a relationship and would like to find out your Relationship Credit Score, visit: relationshipcredit.com
    To have your question answered anonymously on the “Talks with Tony” series, email me: inbox@tonygaskins.com
    For bookings, collaborations, interviews, etc, email: booktony@tonygaskins.com
    #tonygaskins #relationshipadvice #datingadvice #marraigeadvice #motivation #lifecoaching #mentorship

Комментарии • 103

  • @Dr.Elaine1
    @Dr.Elaine1 3 года назад +45

    “Whether you giving it up or whether you preserving it, if he’s not for you, he’s not for you, and you got to gone ‘bout yo business.” TG

  • @MahaloMegaun
    @MahaloMegaun 3 года назад +32

    Tony I was coached by you and your wife while I was in Kuwait on my 4th deployment and I can confirm that you are completely correct! Can’t wait to finish my life coach certification. Thank you!

  • @karamelbuttafly3624
    @karamelbuttafly3624 3 года назад +18

    Sis, you haven't lossed a thing. The trash will take itself out. Keep your standards and thank you for your service to our country.

  • @LakeishaGoudy
    @LakeishaGoudy 3 года назад +30

    Being a military spouse was difficult especially during deployment and I definitely got cheated on. It was a horrible experience for me. My loyalty was with someone who’s loyalty was never with me. I was so focused on trying to be a good wife and mom that I lost who I was. The marriage was abusive and toxic. I filed for divorce 5 years ago and my life has been blessed every since. I’m happily single now and abstinent. I’m focused on my relationship with God , my kids and personal growth. Be careful when dating someone in the military. We knew each other since childhood and I still got dogged out. 🤦🏾‍♀️ I had to choose between God and him… I chose my relationship with God. Pray and keep God first! Guard your hearts ladies! 💕🙏🏾

  • @FeelingFitFabFun
    @FeelingFitFabFun 3 года назад +17

    Deployment for a lot of married men is like “what happens on deployment stays on deployment”. They literally take off their wedding rings and have girlfriends. The married women do it do. I was in the military for 6 years. There are some faithful men but many of them are not. And they are open about it.

  • @miaallen6012
    @miaallen6012 3 года назад +41

    Thank you for adding another requirement to my list: no military men!

    • @elicore.biz81
      @elicore.biz81 3 года назад +18

      For me no military, law enforcement, Fire Fighters, FBI, Secret Svc etc...."most" not all of these kinds of men, are the same when it comes to toxicity.

    • @saramatthews7159
      @saramatthews7159 3 года назад +6

      No I was in the military and those men were trash

    • @beefaye6861
      @beefaye6861 3 года назад +1

      Lol....😂😂😂

    • @beefaye6861
      @beefaye6861 3 года назад +3

      @@elicore.biz81 Yes Lord 😁

    • @beefaye6861
      @beefaye6861 3 года назад +2

      @@saramatthews7159 ohh weeee....true!

  • @bbstar2254
    @bbstar2254 3 года назад +21

    Tony you’re spot on with this verdict lol. I’ve been active duty military for 7 years and seen it ALL. Deployment is just code for “break from my relationship”. Don’t fall for it if you want something serious.

  • @corlenciabeamon2
    @corlenciabeamon2 3 года назад +43

    I was in the military for 8 years. And those men are something ELSE. If you in a relationship or married and your significant other is going on a deployment overseas then 9 times out of 10 you getting cheated on. They have literally be in whole relationships with people within the unit or battalion ON BASE. I’ve seen it first hand. But Goodluck sis 🥲

    • @tialaboard3222
      @tialaboard3222 3 года назад +5

      So true... for the men and women both. While serving my time in the Army I experienced very low morale people to say they were fighting for this country . I saw everyone as cheaters and not having the proper integrity to say the least. There were also many soldiers who wives were cheating on them while they were deployed, as well as, married female soldiers getting pregnant while deployed... very sad. In that environment I saw men and women as one in the same I placed nothing pass anyone that’s how low the morale was.
      It was like cheating was a culture in the military, and, due to, being in that environment of people to this day I would NEVER marry military.

    • @MizzWiggy
      @MizzWiggy 3 года назад +1

      I was the wife at home and you ain't lying sis!

    • @loveyb3347
      @loveyb3347 3 года назад

      Yup i know someone personally who has another family

    • @FeelingFitFabFun
      @FeelingFitFabFun 3 года назад +1

      I was in the military for 6 years and this is absolutely true.

    • @patricemurray6412
      @patricemurray6412 2 года назад +2

      Oh yeah, I done seen it all when I was in the military. And it ain't pretty!😏

  • @breannn
    @breannn 3 года назад +14

    I wouldn’t even want to date/marry anybody in the military. That is just too much distance for a relationship. Living with his child’s mother is a big red flag.

  • @mscassama
    @mscassama 3 года назад +36

    So many things to be learned from "Talks with Tony". Even if you can't relate. There are important messages on how to talk🗣 to people, how to understand a situsituation Clearly👂🏾, and definitely how to coach potential clients👩🏽‍💻! I am always a student ready to learn!📚📖

    • @IshanaeS
      @IshanaeS 3 года назад +4

      You are beautiful sis, the profile picture is giving. Keep going 💪🏾💪🏾

    • @mscassama
      @mscassama 3 года назад

      @@IshanaeS Thank you sis! 😊

  • @thegoddessempirelifecoachi6298
    @thegoddessempirelifecoachi6298 2 года назад +4

    “Do not sit still, stagnant and complacent trying to wrap your mind around what a man or a woman is doing. AKA gone bout yo business. Sometimes you will never understand other people’s actions and that’s ok especially as long as you stay true to yourself, your boundaries and standards.

  • @topazgraham2643
    @topazgraham2643 2 года назад +3

    Tony right...He already was in a situation-ship. Thank God she was smart enough to keep the cookie jar closed! Amen sista!!!!

  • @ashleybeverly7328
    @ashleybeverly7328 3 года назад +12

    Tony is not kidding when he said when you leave the Military, you have to start over also. I separated last year and it felt like I was growing up all over again. The Military grows your business mindset, but shrinks your ability to navigate in regular life. 💯

    • @saramatthews7159
      @saramatthews7159 3 года назад +2

      I felt the same way when I separated from the usaf a decade ago

    • @ashleybeverly7328
      @ashleybeverly7328 3 года назад

      @@saramatthews7159 Aye, thank you for your service, sis! I wish the Separation process focused on the mental aspect of it. Not just the resource portion of it.

    • @saramatthews7159
      @saramatthews7159 2 года назад +1

      @@ashleybeverly7328 thank you for your service as well! And yes sis, I really wish they focused more on the mental aspect of being in and separating from the military. That environment messed me up in alot of ways.

    • @ashleybeverly7328
      @ashleybeverly7328 2 года назад

      @@saramatthews7159 I just got your reply, sis! I do too. I remember how hard the Military focused on just the VA portion of separation. But little on how to improve our mental development and well being.

  • @orearabilekgotle8690
    @orearabilekgotle8690 3 года назад +5

    That 7th minute had me on so many hallelujahs🙌🏽..
    If he's not for you, he's not for you.

  • @shelitaj.1479
    @shelitaj.1479 3 года назад +7

    I'm gonna finish my certification Tony, so I can help these Soldiers out. I have too much experience to let these ladies fall for the okie doke.

  • @CarmenLifeCoach
    @CarmenLifeCoach 3 года назад +14

    Always guard your heart, body and mind by saving parts of you that you don't easily give to a man, specifically for situations like this, so that you won't be hurt. Don't build on weak foundations with men who have complicated ties and situations, who seem lost and unsure of who they are, who they love and what they want in life. Choose true proven love.

    • @Shae_3
      @Shae_3 3 года назад +1

      ❤️❤️❤️❤️

    • @CarmenLifeCoach
      @CarmenLifeCoach 3 года назад

      @@Shae_3 Thank you !

  • @Leelang931
    @Leelang931 3 года назад +9

    He’s definitely Married men in the military do this a lot when they PCSing, we see see this a lot. I work on post. I’m so glad she’s disciplined and didn’t give it up

  • @LadyTrucker43
    @LadyTrucker43 3 года назад +12

    Not his hand hanging out the plan window! 😂 wow ! The extreme things some men do to keep the ring finger looking like it’s in use.🤦🏾‍♀️

    • @ThisizKena
      @ThisizKena 3 года назад +1

      That TICKLED me..🤣🤣🤣

  • @ThisizKena
    @ThisizKena 3 года назад +3

    "Flyin' home with dat hand hangin' out dat plane"..😩🤣🤣🤦🏾‍♀️

  • @taynaburton5828
    @taynaburton5828 3 года назад +6

    It sounds like she's in Korea. They call Korea, TDY meaning Temporary Divorce for a Year. He was with his baby mama the whole time. This same situation happened to me. He wanted him a boo for a year he's over then go back home to his wife or girlfriend back in the States. A lot of military people do this to include military women also.

    • @glendanesmith
      @glendanesmith 3 года назад +1

      I learned something new today lol

  • @ladyb3796
    @ladyb3796 3 года назад +11

    I stopped at 2:20. It’s time to move on sis. He’s withholding information. He lacks transparency. He’s backing away from what seemed like organic growth. He’s showing you because he lacks the maturity to communicate his intentions. 🏃🏾‍♀️🏃🏾‍♀️🏃🏾‍♀️🏃🏾‍♀️🏃🏾‍♀️

    • @ladyb3796
      @ladyb3796 2 года назад

      @@AndreiFantastic So true.

  • @reinaquisha9418
    @reinaquisha9418 3 года назад +7

    God bless you for all of the (Extra) work you've been putting in lately.
    We see and acknowledge your efforts.
    🗣️ Thank you💯

  • @knowyourworth2213
    @knowyourworth2213 3 года назад +4

    😂😂😂😂 the ring situation

  • @vanessasoto2928
    @vanessasoto2928 3 года назад +7

    All these videos is amazing!!! So grateful to be able to keep up 😂

  • @becky3087
    @becky3087 2 года назад +1

    12:05 Not flying home with the hand out of the window of the plane now 😂 😂 😂

  • @jlo80
    @jlo80 3 года назад +9

    Stay away from active duty military men!!

  • @chocodiamondjewels3403
    @chocodiamondjewels3403 3 года назад +1

    Tony is talking the Truth. Many military men if they are honest will agree too. The real reason is for the benefits unless they have a death wish.

  • @mitz1919
    @mitz1919 3 года назад +2

    Yes I love that, regardless of what u do how u act legs closed or open , if a man is not for u he is not for u !!!!Might as well act right and wait for the one!

  • @brendabeautiful3096
    @brendabeautiful3096 3 года назад +4

    A 3week old want to play with a ph , c'mon now..shes either his lady or his wife...one or the other...he just need to b honest...point blank PERIODT ...blessings to u @ your family Mr.GASKINS.🙏🙏

  • @chowbay-la4248
    @chowbay-la4248 3 года назад +1

    I used to follow a FB page that was for military people. Mainly it was women posting but when I tell you the drama that goes on on those bases was unreal. Never would have thunk it.

  • @ShermekaG
    @ShermekaG 3 года назад +4

    The way I see it he was still with the baby mom but just deployed but now it’s time for him to come back home so he goes back to his family and she was probably just something to do on the side in his free time.

  • @bridgetteteapp
    @bridgetteteapp 2 года назад +1

    tony always coming in at the right time 😂😂🤦🏽‍♀️ now how did i meet a navy man and this suddenly gets posted

  • @cherh
    @cherh 3 года назад +3

    13:22 Tony is sick of y'all!!!! Baby that took me out! "Shut ya mouth" 😂😂😂

    • @Dimples3434
      @Dimples3434 2 года назад +1

      I’m hollering 🙌🏾😂😂 “ Shut ya mouth “

    • @cherh
      @cherh 2 года назад

      @@Dimples3434 I was too! 😄

  • @77massage
    @77massage 3 года назад +3

    My brother with the I phone 😂😂😂😀

  • @Shanice1
    @Shanice1 3 года назад

    God Bless You Tony!

  • @baileysraves9861
    @baileysraves9861 3 года назад

    Glad it took a different direction. That was some good insight!

  • @sherrynelson365
    @sherrynelson365 2 года назад

    Preach Tony!

  • @sylviasalcedo8569
    @sylviasalcedo8569 3 года назад +1

    I'm here! Ready!

  • @naomiwillis1057
    @naomiwillis1057 3 года назад

    All Facts Tony!

  • @_zina9054
    @_zina9054 3 года назад +1

    Thank you for all the uploads, hopefully I catch your live this time. Just noticed you give us a notice before you go live 😊🙏

  • @InsideSophiaM
    @InsideSophiaM 3 года назад

    Thank you 🙏🏾

  • @tinajones4506
    @tinajones4506 3 года назад

    Listening.

  • @ashleybeverly7328
    @ashleybeverly7328 3 года назад +10

    99% of people marry in the military for convenience. Your pay can literally double when you marry. It's sad.

    • @saramatthews7159
      @saramatthews7159 3 года назад +2

      Yes esp these kids straight out of high school

    • @ashleybeverly7328
      @ashleybeverly7328 3 года назад +1

      @@saramatthews7159 Yes, ma'am. I knew someone I worked with who got married with someone that worked down the hall from him. Both were living in barracks. It happens all the time.

    • @saramatthews7159
      @saramatthews7159 3 года назад +1

      @@ashleybeverly7328 its just crazy in that environment

  • @iga2226
    @iga2226 3 года назад

    God bless 🙏

  • @lehellewilkins3238
    @lehellewilkins3238 3 года назад

    Be bless.

  • @ashleycbla
    @ashleycbla 3 года назад +4

    Why do men who are being sneaky give you the important detail right before the event happens? Because they got something to hide...

  • @2LoveJones
    @2LoveJones 3 года назад

    Hey Blessed Tribe 🤍 🕊

  • @19Hollisterchick90
    @19Hollisterchick90 3 года назад +16

    Don't date men with multiple mothers for their children and don't date men with infants. Women get with these men then act surprised when they're still messing with the mother or they're babymama #3, alone and pregnant just for him to be in another relationship by the time the baby is one.

  • @nextstep9266
    @nextstep9266 3 года назад +3

    Tony, can you do a video on why the guys you like / attractive to never like you but the guys you dont like always likeing you @tonygaskins

    • @kilimanjaro5537
      @kilimanjaro5537 3 года назад

      I really needed a video on this because the guys I find attractive I believe are equally yoked with me physically. They’re not fall over heels handsome but they aren’t unattractive either. They’re good looking to me and still within my reach but it seems like I can’t even attract guys who I’m physically yoked with.

  • @Dr.K.Harris
    @Dr.K.Harris 2 года назад

    I need to go ahead and finish my certification so that I can be added to the military coach list 😩
    There are so many caveats and nuances to military life...including enlisted vs officer entry points....Soooo much to deconstruct and process, particularly as it relates to our Black American men.

  • @nettaterrestrial86
    @nettaterrestrial86 3 года назад +1

    He just isn’t your person!! Keep it moving Sis...

  • @Dimples3434
    @Dimples3434 3 года назад

    Ready for the lesson 🙌🏾

  • @dashafenty9969
    @dashafenty9969 3 года назад +2

    Heyyyyyy im here early again finally lol

  • @stephanietinoco1565
    @stephanietinoco1565 3 года назад

    To help my parents w their citizenship ☺️ but God has blessed me sm and this is only a part of my journey.

  • @jenniferthompson5146
    @jenniferthompson5146 3 года назад +2

    "A whole wife for $1200 a month" Can't see the forest through the trees. That is CRAZY 😳

  • @_zina9054
    @_zina9054 3 года назад

    @13:31🤣🤣🤣 Yea we ain't talking to you !! Lol

  • @ysmithriley
    @ysmithriley 3 года назад +5

    He wasn't ready to be a DAD! 🤣🤣🤣 THIS IS ALWAYS A DUMB STATEMENT. A man should always be ready to be a dad when he sleeps with a woman. It's AMAZING how many men will say they can't possibly be the dad, but they slept with the woman at least once during the period in question.

  • @amandabretch85
    @amandabretch85 3 года назад

    When I saw the title for this video I thought it might’ve been a duplicate from the video I watched yesterday where you get off the chair literally and put your legs in the air LOL

  • @babegirljewel
    @babegirljewel 2 года назад

    My ex-husband was in the Army reserves and then became military police officer. He was cheating on me with another female solider and was sending his money home to his mother. Thank God me and my two kids got out that situation. Now, some eighteen years later, I’m dating a us army officer whom we met on Instagram since August 2020. He was the one who found me and introduced himself first. We have not physically met each other but we speak daily via texting and biweekly phone calls. We do video calls like once/week on Sundays due to my work schedule and the seven-hour time difference between us. Lastly, im going to visit him in Namibia in July 2021 for the first time!!! So I pray that everything works out for you so we can plan our wedding for December 2021 in Jamaica!!!

  • @qscott888
    @qscott888 3 года назад

    👋🏽

  • @glendanesmith
    @glendanesmith 3 года назад

    @@ the tan line 😂😂

  • @SimplyFitwithJay
    @SimplyFitwithJay 3 года назад +5

    How is a newborn playing with a phone? 🤨

    • @karamelbuttafly3624
      @karamelbuttafly3624 3 года назад +2

      My thoughts exactly.🤣🤣🤣🤣 Those weak lies!

    • @elicore.biz81
      @elicore.biz81 3 года назад +1

      LOL that sounds so crazy right? 😂😂😂

    • @MissTracy-Ann
      @MissTracy-Ann 3 года назад +1

      That happened when he went to the babys 1st bday.

  • @Lady_Angela1
    @Lady_Angela1 2 года назад

    Uh, he told you he was getting back with his babys mom. What part didnt you get homegirl?! 🧐

  • @corlenciabeamon2
    @corlenciabeamon2 3 года назад +2

    They also get married just to get BHA 😕

    • @jlo80
      @jlo80 3 года назад

      Yup that BHA is pretty good especially overseas!

  • @shanessabrown8856
    @shanessabrown8856 3 года назад

    L😭L dt guada cak 🤣🤣🤣🤣

  • @sherrynelson365
    @sherrynelson365 2 года назад

    Girl you can do better he lying