Its Not Your Responsibility To Take Care Of Your Parents
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- Опубликовано: 4 окт 2024
- On this episode, we provided a little backstory into our childhoods and explain why it is not the child's responsibility to take care of their parents once they become adults. Join us as we discuss this crucial yet divisive topic.
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It’s such a sticky situation! My thing is my mother is in her 50s and able bodied, but expects to live with my sister or me and be taken care of now. If she was older or had a sickness, of course I’d take her in no problem. But this isn’t the case. I will add mental health has a place here as well which makes it more tricky. There’s no right way to go about this, it’s truly personal. Thanks for this conversation
We completely agree with you!
Here's how I see it...Why am I obligated to provide care for my parents when they barely provided that care for me? I left at 17 and never went back. I've raised my 4 grown sons and I've made it clear that they are in no way to care for ME. That is MY responsibility. They are to care for their families. Pretty simple💕
Believer or not even the Bible says children aren’t obligated. We didn’t ask to be here plus we making up for the decisions they properly didn’t make for us to have a better life. Am in agreement with sis.
Look! I am ready to come to you this third time. I will not burden you, for I am not seeking what is yours, but you. For children are not obligated to save up for them parents, but parents for their children. I will most gladly spend and be spent for you” (2 Corinthians 12:14-15).
I agree, I'm currently going through this now. Cutting the cord is the hardest part but it was an unhealthy expectation i had placed upon me. Able bodied adults in their 50s who expect financial support is lunacy.
It's unfair to my wife and family to expect this from me at such a young age.
Both of my parents become terminally ill and died last year i dont regret being their fulltime caregiver during that time i wish i could of did more
His is some weak ass shittttt......time will proove u wrong
Moma still alive but old and sick. We are not poor but i have to be the head of the family in her last years and Im gladly take care of her til the last day because she gave alot for her while family. She deserves even more and god will have her at his side when she finally rests because she helped alot of people.in her life family and strangers.
This is a topic our community is truly divided over at times. Thank you for the conversation and your perspective 💗
When you get old is when you find out how you raised you kids. When you need help they give you what they got when they were helpless and vulnerable, unable to care for themselves,
This is a logical conversation if you get it you get it!
It is expected of 1 child to stay home, not have marriage or family, they are raised to be the parents caregiver until death. The rest of the siblings can go have their lives, not helping with the parents. You can also be expected to work, babysit for nieces and nephews your life is that of an indentured servant. Check out Mormon,Mennonite old country beliefs. Does this really happen. He'll ya it does.
Exactly, I help out when I can but I have my own bills and children to take care of and I do not want to end up struggling to make sure my children eat and have a roof over their head . Just to take care of her and my dad . I too had to struggle a lot when we were kids. Not having water or electricity for months at a time because certain people chose other things over their kids having water and electricity. I refuse to let my children go without because I have to pay someone’s bills all the time .i am not rich so when I do help out it’s because I’m able to . But expecting it to be done every month is absolutely ridiculous.
What if this is the other side of the coin? The mother did work hard and take care. Provided all the child needed. Children did not have to work. Mother worked until she physically could not anymore. Mother still has an income but still needs help. What then? I hear what you’re saying I really do but the other side of the coin needs to be talked about too. I pray to be able to take care of myself until I leave here but if I can’t I also pray that my kids will see about me and take care of me. As I age that is the thing that scares me. I just want to be cared for and loved as I cared for them and loved them. Not take care of me just cuz but if it’s needed I’m scared to be in the care of someone who doesn’t care/love me. I don’t ask my kids to take care of me; I just hope if I need it that they will.
That’s really all you can do. They should hold some type of responsibility to help out if you need some care, but not take care of your entire livelihood
Such a very insightful conversation!
We appreciate you!
I don’t have kids and I still have to work my ass off. This is what all humans have to do. I don’t understand why parents love to use this to guilt trip and manipulate their kids. And then she mentioned that his mama was the one who was in the fight with him, but it was his mama the cause of the fight, his pain, suffering, and poverty because it was his mama who brought him into her sh*tty circumstances and the one who I’m assuming chose an irresponsible man to have a child with…
I agree we are not responsible for our parents also they really didn't have the opportunity to make the money we have the opportunity to make, it was more difficult for them to be successful. How could they think of generational wealth? It was straight survival
Thanks for the comment. I would say most people are in survival mode right now. So we have to ask ourselves a couple of questions:
1. When will stop the cycle of being in survival mode and placing the future generations in that same mode.
2. If we don’t start breaking the cycle that we are in now, what will be our excuse to the following generations?
I think what’s also important is that black people are in a unique situation where our dollar doesn’t stretch as much as another race/culture does. It’s just the reality. So in my opinion, it’s better to plant the seeds of the future then trying to take care of someone who has lived a full life.
Ooo am agreement with y’all this was goooood.
Damn saw the topic and had to click!
Thank you for checking us out!
This is definitely a case by case topic. It seems the takeaway is setting boundaries when it comes to defining help and care. Like you mentioned if you are able bodied then mom and pops time to work. But sickness im here with you. My money is not your money i have things im responsible for.
I wholeheartedly agree
This was gooooooood.
I will take care of my parents before i will take care of anybody else's kids #facts
Hoping parents keep that same energy when their kids fall on bad financial hardship 🤷🏽♀️it should work both ways!
I couldn’t do this tho…it’s weird energy….
Hello, thanks for the comment. Did you watch the full video so that you would have full context? Do you think that it would be weird energy to wish financial hardship on strangers over the internet just because you don’t agree with their opinion?
There is no way that I wouldnt help my parents if they needed it. First I will say that every situation is different. When I was growing up we were not poor, but not rich either. My parents provided everythng I needed, not wanted, but needed. I was a single father with 2 kids and my parents always baby sat them while I worked my second job no questions asked. When I was finally able to make enough money from one job and get rid of the other I did not need them to watch them. Anytime I needed help as a young adult they were always there and now I am in a financial situation where if they needed the help or to come live with me, no questions asked I would do it. The last thing I will say is, our parents may not have had the plentiful opportunities that we have today, especially in the 60's and 70's.
Listen, sometimes we are born to irresponsible parents that make terrible decisions. Why is it our job to take the brunt of our own struggles plus theirs??? That’s not right
The lady with the blonde hair must not have had a financially irresponsible mother or she is one.
When you love your parents you will want to help them in anyway you can as they age when and if they need it. Sounds like your trying to punish them for not giving you what they couldnt when you were young. Im sure when you get older and your health and mental awareness declines you better pray your kids dont follow the example your setting for them. The mindset is love, love, love!
Nah, fuck my parents. They had me because they wanted to screw and just blindly went along with raising children. I don't owe them anything because I didn't ask to be born to them. They were adults before I was born, so I'm sure they can handle it, but if not then tough luck. You want to give your child a reality check, they'll do the same thing to you once they grow up and move out. It goes both ways honestly.
That's not a reason to have kids! You don't have kids so they can take care of you. Wtf is wrong with these people smh. Only black kids are expected to take care of ADULTS! That is not normal.
Parents should stop helping, providing, loving their ingrates kids.
When you click on a video that I shouldn’t have… at 4:46 I had to click off… Some sad sh*t being said here… they missed the moral spirit… who raised yall👺 Dayuuuuuuuuum 🫢
Consider that you clicked out of the video too soon prior to understanding the full context of what’s being said.
What camera 🎥 do you use to shoot your videos and also what do you use to edit them? They look crispier each time