How Will Millennials Care For Their Aging Parents? | NBC Left Field
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- Опубликовано: 7 май 2018
- In the next three decades, there will be more older people-those who’re over the age of 65-than ever before in history. In the United States, the number of people over the age of 65 will increase by 111 percent. Many of the 75 million American millennials will be faced with the prospect of taking care of their parents. NBC Left Field met Reginald Gilmore and Rebekah Gordon, who are each maneuvering their own lives -- supporting, or going to support, their aging parents.
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This is something that is hitting me hard. My Mom is 60. She hasn't had a job since the early 2000's. She is missing teeth, has emotional/mental problems and refuses to acknowledge the shitstorm she is in. She thinks she's in the 90's, and that God will do a miracle. I was recently hospitalized and the doctors had no idea why. I believe it's due to the stress I'm dealing with.
Bless you for fighting. I hope that you have many more years with her and that her mental state will get better.
I wish you strength and peace and healing. You must put the oxygen mask on your own face first.
@@HerAeolianHarp Meaning what exactly?
@@vze21gwa it means safe yourself first.
@@aliveandwell3958 How exactly do you expect me to do that?
The same talk the son had with his Mother, I had with my Mom. My mom cried and told me she didn't want to be a burden on me. In my mind, looking after her is a blessing to me, and I have years ahead, she doesn't. I don't want her to be alone if something happens. Even though I want to go off and do my own thing, I owe Mom everything she has given me.
Mom, you relax, I got you...
May god bless you
Please watch Pixar movie "UP"
you are a blessing to your mom.
I'm reading these comments while I'm crying because last year, My Mom passed away. She was diagnosed with cancer, and My sister and I, stepped up and took care of her til she passed away. We felt that even though we didn't have a great childhood and family bond , we had a responsibility to her to make sure her passing was smooth and stress-free. I'm looking at the possibility that this may not be the case in my own. That scares me.I don't want to be alone and without family. But my own kids don't have that sense of duty at all to me that I had to my own Mom.and that's sad.
U are from India??
I became my dad’s caregiver at 27 years old. He died from Parkinson’s and dementia at the age of 67 last year when I was 33 years old. Now my mom is alone and needs help getting around the house. Being a caregiver is at times a very lonely experience. You have no friends, you basically set your life aside. I have no regrets because I rather be the one taking care of them than a stranger. But still, it’s quite a lonely journey.
My heart is with you.
but I'm married? how do I do this? My mom's husband (not my step dad or real dad) had dementia and passed about 6 months ago. My wife and myself moved in July of 2020 to help. Now my mom needs help but we're ready to move out.
I can relate. I feel very lonely at times too. I’ve devoted myself to caring for our disabled adult child and healthy child and being my husband’s business partner also. My husband has friends who call him. I have none. My friends have come and gone due to lack of time. All my time has been devoted to them. My kids and my husband don’t get why I’m lonely.
I am a caregiver for a disabled relative. Some people are like, you don't have to do that, put them in a home. I wouldn't be able to sleep at night. I would rather have less free time and be more at peace knowing that they are getting the proper care and attention that they need to live with dignity and some measure of comfort.
I know from experience that putting a disabled adult in a home can be a nightmare. They die very soon after that usually mostly from a broken heart. So if you find a good place make sure you monitor regularly. Stop in unexpectedly. You’d be surprised how ignorant many health care workers can be. Hopefully there’s at least one employee that really cares and they make all the difference ❤
My wife and I are in our early 50’s. My mother just turned 80 in 2019. She’s in very poor health and we are all she has in terms of a support system. We live in a constant state of panic 24 hours a day because she tries to do things she’s not capable of. If we are not constantly staying 3 steps ahead of her we have to then react to the next medical crises. It makes trying to plan for anything nearly impossible.
No one who lives with this responsibility has any inkling of an understanding of the toll it takes on the caregiver. We are watching all our friends get to do things we can’t. We’ve not been on a vacation for nearly 10 years. I love my Mom with all my heart, but somedays it’s just overwhelming.
I can relate to the 2nd paragraph. I'm in my late 20s and I had to take care of my mom in some capacity for nearly the entire 2010s. It was the decade I graduated high school and college. It should've also been the decade my mom became an empty nester and the decade I started a career, got married, and started living on my own, but none of those things happened because of early caregiving.
She suffered an ankle injury 2 weeks after I graduated high school and I've had to take care of her in some capacity ever since. It didn't cost me college, but caregiving/stress was one of the themes for me during the 2nd half of the 2010s. Other things popped up with her and it's hindered her and myself. She suffered a 2nd ankle injury nearly a yr and a half ago and she's been immobile ever since. I haven't gone out of town ever since and have to watch how long I'm out of the house. Haven't been on any sort of vacation for nearly 2 and a half yrs.
It's slowly getting better, but we're both ready to have our lives back. Here's to hoping this is the decade I can become someone's employee, some girl's husband, and have a place to call my own. It really sucks that everyone I knew in high school and college have jobs, spouses, and kids and I'm not among them.
@@finchborat You had a small taste of what it is like, to care for a parent as she approaches the end of life...MY mother was in a wheelchair, could not walk at all, I had to lift her out of bed and into her chair, and from her chair to the toilet, and back again, about 3 or 4 times a night, for 12 years, and every time she went to the hospital, I never knew if she was going to come home again...I cared for her 24 hours a day, fixed all of her meals, and cleaned up all of her messes, with nobody to help me....She died 7 years ago at 95 years old..I will be 73 in July, live alone now and there is nobody around to help me. Fortunately after all of that, and living alone now, life is a lot easier, and I am responsible for no one but myself, I can control my budget by myself, I never go to the doctor, I did figure out that if you want to stay well, you should stay away from doctors, and hospitals, they always have sick people around them..........When I get to the point where I can not take care of myself...well I do have a 357 sitting here that will take care of that. Although very loud, it will be quick....
@@bb1040 357? I take it you're joking.
@@TheRedverb NO I am not..I am alone and figured out some time ago that if I died tomorrow there is not one person on this earth , how's life would change one little bit.....I would like to last long enough to see the last Star Wars movie though..
@@bb1040 Jesus loves you. Your life is important even if you don't think so. I hope you reconsider and that you don't take your life for it is precious.
It broke my heart when his mother expressed guilt about shortchanging them. And he confronted it by telling her to express that verbally regardless of anything. And she broke down.
I am a proud care giver to my elderly Father i dont see it as a burden i see it as a blessing to look after the one who raised me .now that dad is old these are one of our most beautiful memories for me ...seeing him happy ...gives me so much joy.
You shouldn't be forced to look after your elderly father.
You are a blessing to your dad!❤️⭐️
"You gotta be here so that we can continue to thrive for you" :')
That guy is the son every mom dreams of having.
I'm gonna stand up for all those watching who know they have narcissistic and BPD parents: no, this doesn't apply to you. Run and don't look back.
Yup.
I just started going through this process. It is so frustrating because my dad tries to do things he can't do anymore and is very hard headed. He says he rather die doing the things he loves. I understand that but it gives me anxiety when he isn't listening to me.
Old age is brutal.
I pray for a day when science and technology will conquer this problem.
Oh how relieve this has become in 2020. Special ❤️ to those who are caring for their parent(s) your level of care and compassion doesn’t go unnoticed.
Im 27, and my dad is 55. I understand he's still young compared to others on this thread but when I look at him I do acknowledge that he's getting up there. On his 50th I jokingly started calling him old man. My brother's and I laughed at the irony of the joke and "old man" just stuck. I've been calling him that for years out of love and affection but it hit me like a truck this year I've e stopped calling him that because I'm now afraid of him getting it into his head. I find myself pointing out his youth every chance I get these day... ofcourse he has no idea that I'm struggling with this and very likely isn't even thinking of it for himself, but I do hope he has many many more healthy years ahead of him. Very few are more deserving.
I’m 36 years old and caring for my 81 year old father and 70 year old mother. It’s our time to care for our parents. ❤️
emily pacheco that’s a great outlook! Do you have a family you are caring for too? And do you work? We are living in a different era with so many different demands.
Best of luck from Ireland!
@@kwoksturr9670 You can, just try lol
I'm 38 helping my Mom at 71. I don't want Mum to be alone if anything happens. Be blessed!
My father abandoned me before I was born and my mother was toxic and abusive. She beat me, called me things like "sh-t", "Gestapo" and "zit faced sc-m just like your daddy", and said things like "I won't give you pads anymore, let it run down your legs", "when I die you'll sh-t and p-ss on my grave and go dance at a club", "go to h-ll with your diplomas" (I was 10 and just got a diploma for something) and "remember those children on TV that have this disease that makes them old real fast? Well, you have that too BUT IN YOUR HEAD". They both can drop dead for all I care. Not a second of my time and not a penny of my money will go to them. Ever.
I am 54 age is a state of mind. Physically I can do everything I did in my 20s. I work in a personal care facility what I realized is never stop moving keep busy eat healthy. Do not stop doing things for your self. Once you stop it goes down hill fast. I rather get hit by a bus than be too old to take care of myself.
I became my dads primary caregiver who is in his 80s when I was 21 years old, juggling between every month hospitals visits, doing full time job and helping with house hold chores as my mom is also aged, it is very hard but u keep going with all ur strength knowing how much my dad helped for my education or when I was sick, I hope as his son I am making his final days as comfortable as possible
I am 37 years old taking care of both my parents. My father suffered five strokes and my mother suffered a massive stroke back in 2011 which left her paralyzed and unable to verbally communicate. Mind you, they are both 74 years old. I’m suffering mental and emotional anxiety due to me being an only child caregiver. It’s so hard to help those who are disabled and apathetic but yet you push through due to moral obligation. They were good parents that raised me well and for that, I owe them my dedication.
You are a very caring adult child. Please make sure you are caring for your own health, too.
Only 74? Your parents are young to be in such a bad state.
Yes!!! It's distressing when these old folks try to hide things from you😭😭. Finding out later dad is suffering from some illness and they didn't want to burden you is so sad and infuriating at the same time.
Getting old and helpless is not going to be my fate.
Im not going to be a burden to anyone.
I will do anything i can do to avoid that,no matter whether people think i can do something about it or not.
Imagination can solve any problem but you need to believe in yourself and not allow this rotten society to destroy that imagination and spirit.
I'll treat them better than they treated me, that's for sure.
They're both showing signs of dementia and as evil they were to me growing up, I'll show them a kindness.
You shouldn't be forced to look after your elderly parents.
They're lucky to have you. In your position I'd walk away without a backward glance.
Nothing worse than really old people who are in bad shape but don’t die my Grandma she lived to be 98 had a stroke at 88 so for a decade she was just a rotting bag of bones that we visited. I loved her but looking back that time could’ve been better spent investing in my future
These people know what is true love. It's not just accepting but also giving when the person who gave you everything that was in their abilities to give doesn't have much more to give and needs help themselves.
why should we care for our parents just cos they took care of us asa kids?
Our poarents had to take care of us as it was legal requiorement. chjildren are small and vulnerable and not old enough to make their own decesions. if the parents dont look after them the child will be taken off them. A childs destiny is to grow up and reproduce.
An elderly poerspon on the other hand has lived their lives and done their duty and are riddles with incurable illnesses. their destiny is to die so let them
@@sexydudeuk2172 No, every person's destiny is to live as good and content life as possible.
I’ve spent the last 5 years (as a millennial) an elderly lady across the street. Her son is 3 months younger than I am and has done little too nothing to care for her. I’ve spent so many hours, thousands of dollars (she was highly underachieving in life for herself and struggles financially). In the last few months I had to come to accept that I was/am being used… until her home (her son is the owner because it was his grandmothers and is in a trust) became so bad that the county began threatening to fine HIM that he actually did something. I am ashamed at how my generation acts. The narcissistic behavior is disgusting.
We must give back our love and care for our parents. Treasure every single moments with them and always make time for them.
Yy
@@susansentz7441 yyguf
I didn't get any love from my parents so I can't give them back any.
Totally agree even though it’s really difficult ❤️
@@MargaritaMagdalena 😢
my heart. this gave me so many feels.
WHAT? Can't you type a sentence? What is "many feels?" feelings, perhaps?
Carla Everett wow direct your condescension somewhere else internet troll. If you’re looking to excise your superiority I’d suggest you contribute in some meaningful way to the world rather than be a jerk online. I might add, it’s called colloquialism and is definitely a phrase used in today’s society whether you have the agility to adapt or not.
As someone dealing with this I wish our parents would stop seeing themselves as a burden to us because they didn’t see us as a burden when we were children it’s just what you do you take care of the people you love
I was a burden to my parents. My father abandoned me before I was born and my mother was toxic and abusive. She had no interest in nor respect for me whatsoever. I just existed to give her attention and to be trolled for fun. I hope one day she'll admit what a horrible burden she was on me. Maybe it could give me, like, closure or something.
@@MargaritaMagdalena I'm sorry you feel that way your parents were a burden to you
exactly. that's why i say you are under no obligation to look after your parents when they get old just cos they looked after you when you was a child. A childs destiny is to grow up and reproduce. an elderly person has lived their life and done their duty of raising a child so their destiny is to die.
FACTS & taking care of our parents should be normalize.
#WhiteFamily?
In a Black family, your parents can find 101 unique ways to tell you you're a burden, without exactly saying, "you're a burden."
The entire time I was watching this, I was all like, "What's this guy's angle? 'The fruits of your labor?' What?!"
I just don't know what to say. With today's economy, you think the motivation to do this would be low. Sure, it's cheaper, but you think the motivation is extremely low for something like this. There's no way life for them was grand. There are a few pictures, but what does that really mean? Why? There's no money in it. Why?
He sounds so calm... 🥺
There's just nothing in it. Nothing.
What happened?
I'm 31 started having to care for mom as a child then she died when I was 24. My dad's 67 and started to age. My soon to be hubby is 38 and dealing with the same issues with his mom and his own health issues. It's tough watching your parents age .
I am so happy to see this video in to know that I am not the only one that will be facing this in the next few years as my parents is getting older on one and it sucks that you have to sacrifice your younger years but at the same time it’s a precious gift to get back to your parents
That’s what am doing right now even I started talking about it in my channel,it’s hard but you said it well it’s a gift❤️
As a millennial caregiver currently facing this, it's horrible. I don't want to take care of my mom anymore. I'm 29 and I've had to do this for 11 years.
I want my life back and someway to make up for the time and things that early caregiving stole from me. My experiences are why it should be illegal for couples over 40 to have kids. If Covid wasn't around and money wasn't an issue, I'd put my mom in the nursing home and keep her there until she could walk again and live by herself.
mom better find another solution because it wont be ME
I'm stressing over here thinking about my parents getting old. They're in their 50's and 60's and they have grey hair😭
@Bruce Wayne 50s are old. They were old for my parents. My mom had an ankle injury at 58 and she's been dealing with physical issues ever since. She just turned 68.
I saw my dad have back and shoulder issues in his 50s. He's 70 now and he gets stiff somewhat easily.
Just wait till they get sickly
@Bruce Wayne I am 72 almost 73 now, really do not feel that old yet, still cut my own firewood, split it and stack every year, still ride my motorcycle, when I can afford some gas for it, Ride with the Patriot Guard Riders for Veteran funerals, a Viet Nam vet..mow my own lawn, do my own shopping, make my own masks, so I can go shopping these days....build my own computers...no I am not old yet..yes I do color my hair..LOL don' want to look at that old F rt in the mirror every morning, and it makes me feel younger..I have a step-sister that is the same age I am, and her hair turned all white in her 20s, and it was a beautiful black before that....She lives in Oregon now, and I live in Pennsylvania...haven't seen her in 20 years, I wish I could see her one more time...
I'm in my late 20s. My parents are in their 70s. My grandmother is 90. I'm in college and very busy trying to scrape together a life. Very little time for my parents. So every time I see them they're a few months older. A little more forgetful. A little more tired and a little weaker in the voice. I'm terrified. I used to like having older parents but by the time I have an established career and home they're going to be pushing 80. It's so scary and it's barely started.
@@GrandmasterofWin i know right same here
Am taking care of my aging parents it’s tough but I would rather be the one than anybody else coz I love them en I don’t want them to suffer ❤️
When you a teen and gotta worry about yo aging parents 🗿
Same in college and my parents already are in their early 60's. I wanna cry.
One of the reasons why it's best to not wait until 40 to have kids. I had to take care of my mom in some capacity for nearly all of the 2010s. I'm hoping this is the year (if not decade) where the caregiving finally ends and I can resume/start my life.
@@iloveyou-pm4tj Same with me. When I graduated college, my dad was 65 and my mom was 2 days away from turning 63. He turned 60 at the end of my junior year of high school and she reached her 60s during my sophomore year of college.
It's not even about taking care of them. It's just wanting them to be alive. That's almost your biggest fear.
@@popcornto6032 I’m almost 19 and my dad’s 66 and my mom is almost 57. They are healthy and don’t show much signs of age. My dad had heart problems when I was 11 though.
It is really difficult when there comes a time when we have to care for our aging parents. At our elder law firm in Arkansas, we often have to help families prepare the legal documents to get assisted living care or to do their estate planning. Great job on this video. Would be great to collaborate.
We are under no obligation to care for them when they get older. Old life must die so new life can come Into this world
@@sexydudeuk2172cold heart
Woah, as of this past Wednesday my brother and I (we are in our mid 50's) are now caring for both our folks. Neither can walk, both have dementia, our Pop has Parkinsons and my brother and I had ZERO clue. Our Mother hid it well until she was taken by ambulance to the ER on 12/22/21 with CHF and today she went into a rehab facility to regain her ability to walk. Now my brother and I see firsthand what has been going on. So we have been splitting shifts to care for our Pop which is like caring for an infant, he does not sleep much and has lost control of his pipes, it is just sad. This is all brand new to us, any advice is welcomed.
Take care of your parents people,like they took care of you.
These young people are wonderful human beings who aren’t going to warehouse their parents which is what nursing home corporations want. So they can sit and do nothing all day. When I saw how my dad was treated while recovering in a nursing home from a surgery I brought him home. The care was non -existent. Couldn’t find a staff member until I went to manager’s office where three of them were hanging out talking. They tried to tell me I couldn’t take him home and I said watch me and I did.
I don't know if it's just the socio-economic area I come from or not but I know a LOT of millenials around my age that have done so many drugs, partied and drank so much that they are like old people already and are falling apart, no joke I don't think they are going to be taking care of anyone, they can barely take care of themselves...People that were in high school in the late 90's/early 00's lived Hard and Fast in fact I could name tons of people I went to high school with that are already dead from living so careless..It is one F'd up generation believe me!
Millenials suffer because we went through two recessions we couldnt do coke and go see grease lighting and buy a house and a car and habe a pension while working at mcds and a collge degree like u
"Look at me! I'm special and unique!"
Let us enjoy our people while they are still here ❤
Even though my mom is 43 and my dad is 48, i get the fear alot of them growing 😔 i'm just scared of them leaving my sight
I don't want them to feel weak also, it breaks my heart thinking about my childhood that my parents took care of me happily before, it scares the heck out of me me that i'd have to take care of them after 😞 it means to me i don't want them to go weak, i want them stay strong and live with me
That's unhealthy. You're supposed to want to become independent and go out and build your own life & family. Your parents should have saved their money & assets to take care of themselves. If they were too stupid to secure their own futures, that's their problem, not yours.
With so many estranged parents and countless online therapists encouraging no contact, it looks very bad for elderly people in America. Every parent is now being called a narcissist, toxic and abuser. Their adult children think they don't own their parents anything but as a humans, it is our duty to take care of the elderly.
But that is something no therapist will ever promote because it does not sell. Forgiveness, loyalty, caring about others is out. Victimhood, labels and cruelty are in.
LOL @ the first person talking about making her dad lunch as if that's the scale of hardship. LOOOOOL! Wait until she's dealing with an incontinent father who is out of his mind with dementia, accusing her of stealing his money and playing tricks on him, while she can't leave him alone for even 5 minutes. She has NO IDEA what old age can be like.
Your right That's when I cut out
Even then i wouldn't abandon my mother or father.. I would set aside my ego and pride and just take it. Knowing in my heart they don't know what they are doing. and forgive them for they have loved me and were there for me when i was depressed and down the drain mentally. So therefore i remain loyal and loving till the last day. No matter what.
@@ginofoogle6944 but who has the space for that? We live a simple life, one income and have kids of our own. We don’t have a basement she can move into nor do we have time to care for her we have kids and a busy life. I’ve finally gone to therapy and started recovering from my childhood and just when peace is on thr horizon I now have to baby her and care for her? Sucks when the parent needs care but they’re impossible to be around.
@@katierose1893 this is my exact situation.
@@katierose1893That's where I'm at. Have a big family but none can take care of aging parent. I have a family of my own and even with Home health care it is still stressful.
All the news just does is throw millenials under the bus...
Fortunately my dad married a very wealthy woman so he’ll be just fine. They’ll be able to afford adequate care. My mom on the other hand has tremendous debt, a sickly husband and no savings or any money. Years of drug addiction and utterly foolish choices have drained my grandparents dry. I stay with them and maintain the house, grocery shop, and cook. Once they’re gone taking care of my mom will fall to me. My family wonders why I don’t look for a relationship and get married and start my own family. My future has already been sold down the river
You're not alone, bro. I'm stuck living in a town that I can't stand, providing for 2 old fools who squandered half a century making poor life decisions and failed at properly establishing themselves & securing their own futures. Worse still, they feel entitled to my providence and are ungrateful for it.
I can only hope that by the time they die, I won't be too old to get out of this shithole and re-establish myself somewhere worth a damn. I try not to be resentful of God or my family, but this life I lead makes me feel like I'm being mocked on a daily basis.
I’m going to say temper your unconditional love for parents with holding them accountable more. You taking care of them can make their way seem validating but remember when they are gone you will WANT friends, a love life, goals, etc you must must must have time to keep your life full. Do not fall into the same mentality they did just in a different way.
So many parents who never saved for retirement. My parents worked 6 days a week and plugged away into their retirement. My mom passed away at 72. All of her healthcare cost were covered. My dad is 76 and is comfy. None of us will have to take care of him financially. I have 10 year olds. Had them at 38. My kids will not have to take care of me also. My wife and I will go into a nursing home. I refused to force my kids to watch me at their home. I have seen so many parents fall down the stairs and die etc. All because the family could not afford to pay for the right help for the parents. It’s sad.
Millennials: don’t do that to yourselves. Abandon them in the forest and call it a day,
My dad is 77 going on 78 had a heart attack at 42 and had kidney cancer at 76 they removed the right kidney now they found a tumor in his bladder and mom has copd make her out of breath when she walk she 74 going 75
Reading the comments and this video really made me feel not alone. My dad had me at 63 and hes now 87 and I'm 24 and it's just us in the family left. I want to look after him and make sure hes okay but as you say theres the money factor and he says he wants me to be happy and get a job I want and asks me if I want to be with my partner forever and it's like for me all of that is on hold because I want him to be here forever but its not possible :( you know what I mean?
Gain fincial freedom
Things look grim on the future but that has always been been the case when growing old. But parents should always count on their kids. When my Dad was diagnosed with miastenia gravis I thought will loose him, he's alive now but we have to super care for him case a simple cold could pull him to the grave. He worked like a slave for us before, so now we'll do whatever we can to make his life as perfect as we can. He loves working, so we make sure he's always doing something, he's not stupid, he likes eating so we cook our way around greasy/healthy food, etc... The same thing with my mom and her high blood pressure, the government has never been there 100% all the time, we can depend on them or believe they're going to be there. We as their children have to be prepared, and as future old people have to prepare ourselves to have a good life too
Thank you for sharing that with us, Magnus!
You need to read Ahmie Yeung's note for a different perspective. You are lucky to have a 'we' to help you care for your parents. You are also lucky he does not have dementia (which can take 10 to 20 years of extreme dependency, create dangerous mood swings and violence, paranoia and delusions, etc) and has you and your family to help him. You are also lucky that you have jobs near him or that he can be moved to you. Actually, you are just really lucky -So Far.
Children don't own their parents to look after them when they're elderly.
Children are not a retirement plan!
Many parents are left to rot in nursing homes because they truly believed their children would've look after them.
Children shouldn't be forced to look after their elderly parents it's the parents fault for not planning for the future.
I have Asperger's high functioning
My mother suffered from bipolar since I was a child , my dad was looking after her before I was born
She has been in and out if hospital most of my life, it was hard being around her sometimes because she would scream. I helped dad with her as much as I could. No I the I didn't keep the house tidy but I cooked, I took her out, washed , cleaned her.
Yes I shouted at her in frustration because I was stressed I couldn't have a Life of my own sometimes.
She passed away 3 years ago sadly
We got no help from mental health services or care services in UK
I tried to help my dad sadly he died at Christmas
It’s all well and good if our parents are ones who made sensible decisions and worked hard to give their kids a stable home. However, for those of us who were born into poverty, lived in broken homes, had parents who practiced irresponsible family planning, which resulted in multiple children then that’s a different story. These multiple children may have not had access to proper education and a helping hand from parents to try to make a life for themselves. In this case the burden is usually placed upon a few or most times the one kid who made it out to take care of said parents.
Money or not. Still try to help them the best you can. My family is not well off but will help parents best way we can
@@back2the80s I disagree with helping parents all the time.. my mothers depressed, ill, and acts like a child at 50yrd old wants me to pay for everything for her, not a problem if I wasn't stuggling to feed myself daily I'm eating one meal a day in order to feed her as well... she eats all the time because depression and complains that shes starving when really shes depressed and wants to stuff her face... she complains on the daily curses, belches, shes a fucking behemoth and I grew into a family of ALL UNEMPLOYED LOSERS 50yrs old my aunt is the only one who does small things to make progression and cash. my mom and her brother do nothing but consume and use others for money. soulless and only want want want. I constantly feed her and she complains saying "i dont want that I WANT THIS" like a child. no not all parents deserve kindness. I can't even feed my fucking self and Im struggling with offing myself because she makes my life a living hell. fucking weird fucks that think every parent deserves the world. wrong. tell that to my cousin whos parents locked her in a closet and drank and abused her... shes fucked up now. this world isn't sunshine and rainbows... it can be hell and most want that suffering to end
@@dictionplacement5467 you opened my eyes
retired? senior? Want to make a difference? Become an activist and inspire the young activists with your wisdom and also learn from them in return. Trust me, it’s how to build a community of like minded people who become family. volunteer in your community, its life changing.
My dad and mom are in their 50's.
dad-55
mom-54
I am still a minor, and they are aging.
My friends mother died she way crying at work and my other friend too ,I’m just panicking and no wanting to believe that my mom is getting older
Parents. Love ❤
I never took care of my parents because they died relatively young. I still wouldn't have looked after them because I don't believe that people should waste the best years of their lives being burdened with elderly care. If parents can't take care of themselves then they should be put in a care home.
BMA
Do not mind but your words are that of a "disbeliever" who doesn't believe in the day of Judgement!!
Expect the same from your kids what you have feelings for your parents, they will have for you!!!
Why is the music is so Upbeat? Is this something that we have to get excited for? Something is wrong whoever edited this video's background music.
"How will millennials care for their aging parents?"
They wont. I hope my parents pass before Alzheimer's kicks in frankly. My grandmother had Alzheimer's with luibodies (extremely rapid dementia). I don't wish that on anyone or anyone's loved ones.
I´m from Mexico and I'd like to know if it's true that in the USA people send their parents to nursing homes and if it´s normal.
I mean, I don't understand why parents wouldn't return to live with their children even if they required special care.
It really depends on the family and the elderly individual. This is what I've seen as an American so it's just my opinion.
(Sorry for the rambling)
It's common but more for rehabilitation services. Because of the focus on individuality in the US, many elderly (especially if they have their own homes) would rather stay on their own if they can.
It's somewhat a stereotype that's rooted in the way nursing homes used to be as well as the practices of wealthier families (poor families in America can't really afford elder care and that has downsides as well).
There's also way more options for care now than the traditional nursing home (health aides, assisted living, etc).
Ethnic and poorer families tend to keep their elderly at home longer, but many families don't live intergenerationally. So many elderly either choose to stay in their homes (don't want to live with relatives) or go to assisted living rather than nursing homes and due to medical care people aren't as "old" as they would be in the past so they would rather be independent.
Also, people are working longer. So instead of younger seniors (especially female) being full time caregivers, people either need to pay for help or send them to a facility.
It also depends on the condition of the elderly. Homes used to be more permanent stays, but due to advancements in surgery and rehabilitation someone may stay in a nursing home for a few weeks rather than the rest of their life.
Nursing homes now are really more people who need serious monitoring, equipment and care that's beyond what a family can give.
I saw the exact same comment from you on another page. Lame.
There are things I don't understand about Mexico but being white I don't have the luxury of asking questions like you, because it'd be "racist".
@@MargaritaMagdalena calm the fuck down he asked a simple question. He is affirming his stereotype of Americans and he asked politely
You have to have a lot of money to send a parent to a retirement home. When you have parents in bad health. You cannot properly take care of them at home. I have seen many older parents fall down the stairs or shower and die. You cannot work a job and part time help parents at home. Nursing homes are set up for seniors. Special showers. Beds etc
Floor wise house are good in that case u can live with ur old law parents which are 2nd parents and u have ur own privacy too but u are single child or ur brother live separated and ur real parents are alone and they are old and needs of hospital so u can rent them near your house so u can put eyes on both
My parents are in their 50's my mother will be 54 and my father will be 52 they both got couple grey hair and they getting old soon they will be in their 60's
Thank you for pointing out that we are not planning and talking about end of life. I think this will be so important as the gray tsunami hits full force.
I am a boomer who just finished helping my mother die with dignaty. The health care system in the country put my mom through hell with bills and contacts that said she was better off dead then being a burden to this selfish country. After that experience I decided I will not have my kids take care of me. Its too hard on them to put up with what the govt claims is a worthless generation now and that the boomers. Therefore if I need my kids to take care of me, I am headed to Oregon and ending it before this healthcare system which really stinks, pulls my kids under and takes everything they own just to take care of me.
You have to be within 6 months of death as certified by three doctors before you can have a right to die. :( I know this because I live in Oregon. Currently, right now in Oregon, there is an expansion bill being proposed to allow anyone with a terminal illness the right to die at any time. Let me know if you would like to send an email to the legislatures (you don't have to live in Oregon). I can give you their email addresses and a form letter if you like.
jeff trimble our system needs to change and serve elders better. And as a society we need to be proactive in planning for the final years.
Stfu boomer u have all the money
@@thriveathomeinnovativesolu7989 old boomers have it all they gor the wealth the houses the cars we millenials suffer more
We can talk about freedom and empowerment and choice and rewards and respect all day long (yeah, it feels good to talk like that), but the economy only sees one reality: do these old people have money or don't they? Up until recently older Americans had saved up a nest egg of home ownership (real estate) and bank savings, and a lot of them had pensions. This won't be the norm as we go forward.
THat is quickly coming to an end. Its almost impossible to pay a home off anymore and saving money is almost impossible. Unless you are smart and save for your own retirement or seek out jobs that offer a pension you are screwed.
and then they spent it all on their kids collage , and that expensive wedding you wanted......the new car you wanted, oh and don't forget feeding you for 18 or so years, your health insurance and doctor bills.....and so many more things, you can't count them all............and you owe them nothing ?
I don't know why you replied to my message.
You seem to be focused on "who owes who". But that's not what I was talking about. Not at all. You completely misread my post if you think there was something in it that suggested children don't owe their parents.
I was talking about the fact the evidence (all around us) suggests that in our (near) future there will be a much higher percentage of old people who (unlike prior generations) don't have the necessary savings/investments/assets/equity to retire comfortably or with dignity (or even at all).
I didn't say that children don't owe anything to their parents for the efforts involved in raising them. I'm sure that in the future many children will make great efforts to take care of their aging parents.
But, to speak directly to your posted comment: Do you believe that every adult child will have the means to take care of their aging parents? I believe that fewer and fewer children will have the means to take care of their aging parents, especially if they've also taken on the task of getting married and having a child (or children) of their own.
Reasons why I believe this?
First, in the last few decades people have been having fewer children, which reduces the number of children who might have grown up into adults who've had the financial success necessary to amass the money required to take care of their aging parents. Second, in the last few decades many people have been waiting later and later in life to have their children, which means they will be older before their (few or only) children have had a long time to become successful and build the wealth necessary to take care of their aging parents. I could go on, but let's just say that there are a number of societal factors that will exacerbate the situation.
@@greghorton803 I am 72 years old now, almost 73...My father died when I was 11, my mother worked her but off taking care of us three kids, I have an older sister ( 9 years older than me) and an older brother ( 5 years older than me) the day after graduation my sister left us, the same when my brother graduated, neither one of them looked back, unless they needed money....at 11 years old I promised my dying father that I would take car of MOM , and I did, we never had much money, but we got along, the last 15 years of her life I was her primary caregiver, almost 24 hours a day, for 12 years of that, went through all of my savings, and wiped out my retirement account, but as long as I could be there for her, I was there, and I got no help from anybody, my brother and sister said I chose to stay with her so it was my problem, not their's ..My brother lives in Denver, has two homes in two differant states and about 5 cars, put $150,000 down payment on a new house, has a family and a grand daughter ...my sister had 4 husbands ,4 kids with the first and a pile od grand kids and great grand kids...Then here I am, my mother died 7 years ago, I am living on my SS and living alone....still no help for me, nobody to even call to see if I am OK..do not have to worry about if my kids will be around because there are none, I figure I will die at home and lay here for a few months until some neighbor smells the rotting body....
This is so heartwarming to see children love their aging parents. I hope this mentality spreads throughout America, we need to stop valuing the advice of social media influencers in their 20s more than seniors who have lived 3-4 times as long and have immense amount more of life experience.
IAM a momma's boy!
I'm greatful that my parents are only 39, meanwhile I'm 19, won't have to bare this pain for quite a while longer
Enjoy the next decade don’t waste it. When they hit 50 you realise just how quick life’s goes past. I’m in my early 30’s and my parents are mid and late 50’s. And I’m constantly fearing the next decade for us. No one in my family will be young anymore. Xx
@@leideningrid I’m in my teens and my dad is in his early 50’s while my mom is almost 50. I worry a lot about what life is gonna look like, especially with our age gap.
My mom already has many problems such as back issues, constant pain in her foot and is just overall in a lot of pain often. My dad is fine but has an extreme amount of stress because of his job, and lives overseas so is often lonely as he misses my mom and I (we miss him so much too!)
I am also in a sticky situation since I don’t get along well with my mother and our relationship is toxic. It has caused me much trauma since I was around 5 years old and more and more each day as I get older. That is why I want to move out and live my own life but I also love my parents a lot and want to stay close with them and care for them.
When the time comes I’ll have to talk with them about what I can do… considering that in the career I want to pursue (medical), I will likely be a licensed physician when i’m 30 or in my early 30s. Around that time is probably when I will start a family too, and by then my parents will be approaching 70.
That means for a tough dynamic as I would be starting my career and family while my parents get older and I would have to start thinking about how I can care for them and also my family and myself 😢It alll seems like so much to handle
@@afrida842 same im 14, my mom is 43 and my dad just turned 51
my family is the the best friends for me
We need more discussion on this they don’t feel the need to. They are busy living life. What have you done wrong if they not interested or don’t feel
It’s for them 😊
Pablum comments, not what is happening or will happen. The elderly who are poor are being thrown off of cliffs in America. Most of us will just slip away unnoticed. The dead don't post or make speeches. Many of my generation do not want to be cared for, we did enough damage with wealth and justice inequality reaching unimaginable application, enough is enough. Those of us with an ounce of empathy left will leave when it is time.
My husbands parents live with us and with our 2 kids its like having 2 more. We can't get them to shower and his mom keeps walking into the kitchen partially nude. I have an autoimmune disease and am so depressed and my teens cutting herself.
What?
In India we still have joint families
Don't take student loans to study too hard. It is a trap.
You will likely to be a caregiver , staying home at the end unless you want to leave your parents behind with a servant, or put them in a elderly house.
Better to learn something which you can do from home.
Most jobs can't be done from home. If everyone learns something they can do from home our society will collapse.
What happened with your 10-20years apart from parents
I have some pretty shitty parents so they can have The government take care of them
Congress needs to pass the 3.5trillion reconciliation bill!
I want to share a bit story..
I'm 17 and my parents are divorced, me and my little brother chose to be with our father. But my mom caught skizofrenia, got deppressed, and have neuron problem. I am now caught in between go back and forward between my mom and my father, bcs my mom oftenly begged me to be w/ her. The reason i dont stay w/ my mom permanently bcs of my school and her family that kinda hates me. I sometime got selfish by wanting to left my mom bcs her talking abt death got me overwhelmed. I'm going to college soon and i dont plan to stay w/ either of my parent and live independently. My mom says that she's ok, altho i know that its the complete opposite of it by she talks abt how she wants to be w/ me all the time when she's in her own headspace. This dilemma keep haunting me lately. Anyone want to give their opinion to me?
Maybe you could make video calls and send your mom some messages / letters during your freetime if you can't go back to visit her often and i'm sure she will feel much better. i'm 15 but i don't want my parents to grow old and neither do i😭😭 i keep crying whenever i think about ageing😭 and i still have no idea what i want to be when i grow up😢 i really love my parents and don't want to leave them even when i'm old :( i'm afraid that when i'm older i will be so busy that i can't interact with them as much as i used to like now :(
very difficult situation, living with the same situation my mom is severely depressed, skit is kicking in just like it did my uncle.. and she can't walk well because arthritis has taken over her leg. I can't really stand it being around her and want to leave constantly like never talk again... but I would think about her because I can't help her... she wont help herself. even if I choose to stay and help it won't solve anything but make me nuts too.. I lost my fucking mind and honestly no matter what choice you pick it's gonna leave you dealing with it. I would suggest a councilor, cause I know ima need it no matter what... I'm leaving her behind but only to better myself. if you care for your mother you will miss out on life... and most likely be depressed aswell. I've been trying for years and it's off and on no real solution ever occurs...
*My Mom & Dad Became 50 Years & As A 21 Year Old Is Gonna Worry For Them*
My Mother is 58 and Father is 52 whilst I am 21 and feeling insecure about wether ill be able to go through this process of change. Its painful I don't understand this. My first heartbreak and now a second heartbreak.
Simple answer we can’t afford to so nursing home or not at all
They won’t. The vast majority of millennials are abandoning their parents.
Unless the parents pulled the plug first. Either scenario is possible.
Some of us are barely scraping by.
Most of them can't care for themselves let alone anyone else.
"I cannot teach him. The boy has no patience."
"He will learn patience."
Every generation made its elders wring their hands prematurely.
But we took care of you....
my mom dependent on my dad - too much since he passed away I'm taking the weight now. My mobility has been decreased
That is a bullshit opinion. I am a caretaker of my mother.
Screw that. Saddling someone else with your own burdens is *immoral* and *unethical.* If you love your children, you won't impose costs on them. You'll encourage them to have their own life and their own families, not waste their time & energy swimming upstream, taking care of their parents instead of raising their own kids. That's *backwards* and *wrong.*
Life is not so short and it does not go by so fast this is just the beginning the Devil is a liar
Never leave your parents in a age when they can't even take care of themselves. Don't do this, never. They're the one who gives everything to you. So don't and never do this. Take care of them till their last breath