Young & Sterile: My Choice | Extraordinary Bodies
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- Опубликовано: 26 фев 2017
- Poppy Begum meets the growing number of young people in the UK opting to be sterilised, even though they don't have any children of their own.
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Why are they judging these people when there's thousands of parents out there who treat their kids horribly and make them feel unloved and worthless?
Meri Sandoval I'm not sure.
I've got some family members who judge me because I want to be a parent.
I think the biggest problem people are having with it is that the people wanting these procedures want it paid for by NHS (public healthcare). I can see the point there. NHS isn't for personal elective procedures. That comes out of your own pocket.
sari c I agree with you completely because if you want bigger boobs you have to pay for it themselves so it should be the same way with electively becoming sterile it would be different if they medically needed to have a procedure like this in order to to live than that is fine if public health care to pay for it because in those cases have a procedure like this can be looked at in the sense of having a broken bone and relying on public health care
Cost a lot less for one procedure over having a (3/4 of a million pound) preemie baby or 10 kids on the mthly social benefits .. SO not a good reason to deny a surgery.
One is vanity and general dissatisfaction with your appearance and another is a person thinking ahead as to whether they can/should reproduce and be responsible for another life. I understand you believing it should not be paid for through health care but the two are completely different.
If you're 20 and you accidentally have a child then it's "She's an adult and should face the consequences," but if you're 20 and make this decision it's suddenly "She's so young, she doesn't know what she's doing."
Abortion all the way.
EXACTLY!!! If you're not going to support my choice in how to handle an unwanted zygote, then support my decision on avoiding it in the first place
Isabel Lieb AMAZING comment! I was told the very same thing by the doctors, at first.
I never wanted children from the time I could first have memories. At 24, my best friend saw a health program on TV and it turned out that at that time, the government would PAY to tie or burn our one's tubes, even if one did not ever have children! I won't bore you with the details of how awful I was treated when folks found out and how the doctors were almost suspicious of me because at the time I didn't even have a boyfriend or even a lover, but I found a psychiatrist who really believed in my sincerity, and I had my tubes burned out a few weeks shy of my 25th birthday. I was told literally hundreds of times ("you'll regret this one day, just you wait until you hit 40!" or "you are a WOMAN and a woman's body is meant to have kids! What kind of [sic] weirdo are you, anyway?"). Sigh. I am now 6 weeks shy of my 48th birthday and my 58 year-old husband and I have been together for 21 years. Neither one of us has kids, neither one of us wants kids, we have the life and pets that we want, along with lots of freedom and many more choices available to us. We are happy and we have NO REGRETS. If someone wants kids and responsibly plan the offspring and provide them with a full and well-adjusted life, both emotionally and financially, then I will not judge you! I will wish you well and good fortune and happiness. So, when one hears that someone doesn't want kids, don't tell them "it's just a phase" or threaten them with "you will regret this somedaaaaaaaaaay!", just leave us alone and don't judge!
I think you’ll find that people never want you to do what you want, hence the hell of other people.
The point is that with 20 you dont know if you want children in 10 or 15 years. There ARE other ways of contraception.
So if a 19 year old get pregnant she’s an adult who needs to be responsible but if a woman in her 20’s wants to be sterilised she’s too young.
Also people are told the population is too large but when people want to not have kids it’s irresponsible.
@@chantaliyah4890 But what about adoption?
She would be asking someone to do something. That Doctor doesn’t want to do it.... Theo body, their choice afterall.
@@chantaliyah4890 that there are people who are not 100% sure of what they want it is fine, but that those who are sure and can not do it are treated as abnormal it is not
@@chantaliyah4890 sure, but having a kid is as big of a decision. it affects your life. and people have no problem with others making that choice. i for example know that if i ever wanted children i would never want to have my own. my genes suck and i do not want to pass them on. and besides that, who are we to say that we know better than the woman that wants to get rid of an organ? does she want to remove someone else's organs? no. why cant people let others make choices. adult women arent irresponsible babies when childless
@@chantaliyah4890 that's no valid excuse. yea she COULD hypothetically change her mind, but by this logic you would never ever make any decisions in your life because WHAT IF am I right? you can't live by that
“Ruins a perfectly good organ” but smoking and drinking do the same 🙄
Good thing pregnancy is 100% safe and has no long term effects on the body! /s
@@jaceyjacobs4013 lol
Jacey Jacobs yup! Say that to my mom XD
@@jaceyjacobs4013 yeah! absolutely no pregnancy deaths exist, no health issues occur, no miscarriages happen and no permanent body alterations happen (e.g. stretch marks, protruding belly)! you're so clever, omg!!
BLOOP I think you missed the sarcasm tag lol
So let me get this straight - you're all gonna complain about women getting sterilized to prevent getting pregnant, but then get mad when a woman has an abortion?
Abi Wilson yes. Yes they are. 🤢
They're pro birth, not pro life tbh.
The Cat Who is they? Not all pro-life supporters are against sterilization. I'm against abortions (expect in the case of rape or the mother's life is in danger), but I absolutely support their decision to get sterilized. Getting sterilized is better than them getting abortions.
Abi Wilson abortion is murder. Getting sterilized could avoid that!
Elizabeth Frantes I'm not against abortion, but sterilized people and people who choos for abortion... That's something totally different 🤦🏻♀️
"Should young people be allowed to do this to their bodies?"
It's their body lmfao why do you care
Vic Fiat Because it would be understandable at for someone at 40 to have an operation like this but they are only in their 20s. Also when we have had to ration the NHS should we be spending money on such "lifestyle choices".
Why does it need to be understandable to you, when it's not going to affect you? Plus it is understandable, they all gave their reasons (not that they should have to), if you don't agree with them then don't be sterilised yourself.
Also, the NHS dispenses contraception (pills, implants, patches, etc. and condoms to those under 25), the government pays benefits out to everyone with children (regardless of income), and pays for schools etc.
Vic Fiat exactly!! They can make their own choices! Like let's say they do regret it, there is something called adoption! They are acting like that's not even a thing and that you MUST have you own children. I am able to have kids but I am choosing to adopt instead.
I totally agree that it is their life. I was positive I did not want children in my twenties. Absolutely positive. After I turned thirty I completely changed my mind and now I have three beautiful children. I wouldn't have done sterilization. If you ask me, if I were these young people why not freeze some eggs or sperm in case you change your mind and yet you still have no worries about getting pregnant. If I could go back in time, I would have donated or sold my eggs when I was younger to struggling couples. When I got breast cancer at 37 yrs old I wish I have froze some of my eggs because I wasn't done having children but once you go through chemotherapy and take the meds to that you really wouldn't want to use the eggs inside of you not to mention that I am too old. I wish I had froze fresh eggs in my early twenties to use now at 45.
It matters if the NHS has to pay for it.
As someone who has had a hard time getting pregnant it's very hurtful when they say that being sterilized will ruin your life or you will lose some chance of true love with your own baby. I might not have that chance either and I wish it wasn't seen as a consequence or as a huge spiritual loss. There are so many of us out there. I support those who want to be sterilized, 100%.
Exactly I don't want kids ever in my life I said that since age 10 the end of this month I will be age 24 and I still don't want any children. If fertility is a gift I'd rather gift it to someone who'd wish to have that ability.
Well you can understand how hard it is to conceive a child then why do you support people throwing away their chances of having a child when so many struggle.
Evie Batson she’s not talking about their choices, she’s saying that it’s hurts her when people say that those who wont have kids are not whole or will miss out on that form of love bc she was struggling to conceive.
rice peace
I hope you become a mother. God Bless🙏
You can love any child as much as you can. Biological or not. True love is not just with your own flesh and blood. I have a child and there’s another child I love just as much as my own. I wasn’t his mother, but I felt so much maternal love for him. Unfortunately him and as mom died in a car accident.
What kinda nut job tells someone to kill themselves over not wanting kids
people with no lives
Religious ones.
You'd be surprised
Get out of my way
Republicans
Regret sterilisation? ADOPT! There are so many children who need good homes and don't have them, what a stupid question.
"There are so many children who need good homes"
Many people really need to think deeply about this. As soon as you put a baby or a child up for adoption they need a home ASAP. People always trying to use the adoption argument as a great alternative from abortion, but they fail to realize the importance and the urgency of getting a baby or child a home and staying at that residence. Human children do not operate the same way as a dog or cat, you just cannot place them from home to home and expect them to be mentally or emotionally sound. So yeah just adopt. There are too many kids that desperately need homes.
TripNBurp Yes!
conspiracyranting I think she meant, adopt a child into your family if you change your mind about wanting kids after getting sterilized, not to adopt out. Make sense?
"Regret sterilisation? ADOPT!"
Well, no matter how many children you adopt, you are not going to pass your genes on that way...
And do you think anyone can simply adopt, just as easy as buying a pack of chewing gum? No, there are certain criteria that must be fulfilled (depending on the jurisdiction). Probably for good reason. Most of them, at least.
Personally I think that nobody should be allowed to adopt children unless they already have children on their own.
knrdvmmlbkkn Right, and the kids who would be adopted by childless parents would just be put in the already impacted and defective foster system. Great plan 👍
"should they be allowed to do this to their own bodies?"
people...making choices about their own bodies.... what a wild concept
you made me giggle :')
Tee I find it very interesting that things like boob jobs, dermal implants, piercings and tattoos can be seen as something disfiguring but is still widely accepted
Tee The people who do this because of mental health are at least considering the problems a child might have. I wouldn't wish some generic issues on my worst enemy.......even depression
its such a drastic decision,, not as simple as many of the other body decisions.
Tee someone could have a baby at 16 and they think its not as bad as someone getting sterilized at 20
As a mother who adores her baby I believe you don't need to be a mother to be a complete woman
Yes 100% love my twins but it's not for everyone !
That is very wise
You dont even need to be a female to be a complete woman.
You can be a mother and not bare your own children.
Honestly l find this discussion quite disturbing and degrading.
İt's baffling to me how people do not get that you don't have to give birth to a baby in order to be their parent.
I myself feel the same way about my own life and the majority of women do end up wanting children, but this is a hateful comment. Women are human beings before they are women. To tell another woman her choices are wrong and to dehumanize her because she doesn't have children is not liberty.
I'm 34 and knew I did not want children back in my teenage years. I have never had those maternal emotions or desires. Just the thought of being pregnant fills me with dread. I find these people wanting to medical cut the chance of having children responsible
@@angelbug people are entitled and spoiled
@@angelbug people change their opinions, shes still relatively young, lets see how she fares in her 50s, 60s no one gives a shit about old people, sometimes not even own offspring, but is still best for your mental health to have them, and to truly grow up (mentally)
I am so happy people who do not want children are smart enough not to have them. I would rather have people sterilize themselves then have an over full foster system
I knew @ 17 I didn't want kid's. Now @ 59, childfree and VERY happy. A lot of people my age are financially helping their grown kid's and/or raising grandkid's.
@@Quitarstudent shut up! And mind your business. I hate when people try to tell others what to do.
I think it's really unfair that 18 year olds can join the military, yet can't make decisions about their own reproductive systems.
Is getting a tattoo reversible? Not really (sure there's laser removal, but lets be honest, its not all that effective for many) but yet 18 year olds are allowed to get tattoos. Is dying for your country reversible? No, but you can get 17 and 18 year olds in the military that can die.
A friendly RUclips troll so what, it doesn't hurt anyone
HOW CAN I LIKE THIS COMMENT MORE THAN ONCE!!!!
"Is dying for your country reversible? No, but you can get 17 and 18 year olds in the military that can die."
There's a lot of other ways to die as well. But to irreversibly die is hardly the intention of joining the military.
Your sister from another mister Exactly! You can decide to possibly die, but not to reproduce. Makes so much sense. *eye roll*
The attitude towards sterilisation is disgusting. I know for certain that I want to have children, so why the hell would I doubt someone else's certainty that they don't want kids? Why is their wants/opinion less valid or inherently less 'moral' than my own? I'm the child of someone who was in no way emotionally/mentally equipped to raise a child, and I have a great amount of respect for people who are self aware enough to know whether parenting is something they want or can do.
mme.lolabelle exactly! There are loads of people who regret having kids, usually people who either accidentally have them or weren't sure. Why not let people get sterilised
mme.lolabelle it's probably because they don't want a lawsuit if someone possibly regrets it in the future
Tate Mark There's no way they could sue over there own, concious decision.
Hate to sound dark or negative but let's be real. 1 in 4 of us get cancer, 1 in 4 of us get help for a mental illness (probably 1 in 3 of us actually suffer and don't say anything) 20% of mothers have a miscarriage, for all you know your child could have a deformity or debilitating illness that it will live with for the rest of it's life. The planet is over-populated as it is and will only get worse. Terror attacks are more frequent than ever. Bullying in schools is worse than ever. Countries are not far off WW3. And you want to have a child all for your selfish needs? Horrible humans..
We need more people who think like this because its not that we want everyone to be childfree or that we're forcing our opinion on others but there needs to be an understanding and communication and this is a very important point.
I find the journalist not very objective and neutral. She is clearly conservative. People love to tell women to have babies, no one is present when these babies are born.
She's constantly bingoing them, I hope it's just that she's playing devil's advocate.
Meii Macca I think she’s just asking bc that’s her job, she wants to hear certain answers. She wants to see if they have thought about certain things
@@zoecarter8340 Devil's advocate, I did say that. You can never be sure though.
Some people call these attitudes "pro-birth." They want a certain group of people to reproduce, but they don't give a damn once the birth happens.
Its her job to ask critical/provocative questions, regardless of her own believe. Otherwise there would be little to no point in Making this documentary
I was sterilized at 25, after an eight year battle to find a doctor who would agree with my choice. I live in Canada, and when I found the wonderful surgeon who respected my decision the surgery cost was covered. I'm almost 30 now, and it still remains the best decision of my life. Childfree and proud.
congratualations you can fianlly be care free it is so nice you where finally allowed to make your own descision!
congrats bud! your body your choice!
aww im so happy for you!!
If these sterile folks suddenly turn around and want children... Why not adopt? They've already stated they are afraid of passing on genetic illnesses. There are millions of adoptable children in the world from infants to teens. A loving sterile adult can go through the paperwork and lighten the social burden by adopting.
In UK you can't adopt with most there illnesses. It's so hard to adopt here which is shit.
Soprie it's extremely stressful and difficult to adopt nonetheless. Add on the mental issues and health conditions it just makes approval even more difficult.
My thoughts exactly. Great comments!
Not everyone wants children that are not their own blood.
The perfect solution to many, many issues.
"Fertility is a gift" A gift I can decline if I so choose!
Ena Sim A gift you sell on ebay the next day
Gladys Mba I choked on my tea
Yes, girl!
Ena Sim lol if it's a gift then I want the receipt so I can take it back to the shop.
Ena Sim exactly. Gifts have return receipts nowadays.
If only people cared about the kids that are already here as much as they care about potential kids that don't exist and policing people's bodies about not having children. If only.
how dare them not adding humans on an over populated planet
People should be able to do what they want with their bodies but dont use dating humans to an over planet its a stupid argument
@@mariamchale8866 im pretty sure they are being sarcastic
That's true. I wish countries that had a birth rate of 5 per woman, and fresh water shortages would have the same thing.
Right? those selfish useless souls!
The planet is not overpopulated.
"With the potential for a lifetime of regret, should young people be allowed to do this to their bodies?"
Doesn't that go both ways? We live in a society that says that it's okay for an 18 year old to decide to have children if she wants to, why shouldn't we also allow people that young to decide that they don't want children?
Nathaniel Garro ADOPTION ADOPTION ADOPTION A child at any age. They can make a great difference in a child's life.
What about my life? What will adoption achieve.
Adoption is a way to bring a light of hope and love to a child in need of a family. Adoption gives you the opportunity to receive the kind of love a parent receive from a child. If you don't already have drive and purpose in life a child can give you one.
Cristian Dinu You must be a man
18 and younger should not be having babies. The pelvic area is too small Alot of girls have to deliver by c-section. Most girls can't produce enough milk.
18 and younger DON'T HAVE THE PATIENCE, THE SELF DISCIPLINE OR THE SENSE TO SACRIFICE FOR THIER BABY.
Cristian Dinu Naturally a Boy as young as 13 have sperm tht can fertilizer a egg but tht doesn't mean he should be having babies in the 7th grade
I am a mom, my daughter was not planned, used a condom and was on birth control. I love my daughter, I wouldn't change her for the world. where I live the law states a woman must be 25 or have two children before she can be sterilized. I'm now 26 and have a child, I've gone to 7 different doctors and I'm told the same basic thing every time. "What if in the future you meet a man who wants kids?" and turned away. cause here in the US my body belongs to a man I haven't even met yet.
Raven Pittman >>meet a man who wants kids
Raven Victoria Also they can adopt one
''was not planned, used a condom and was on birth control'' - Your daughter seems like she's a freaking miracle baby :D Can she turn water into wine ??
this is so powerful...
Well, then you're going to have a lot of disappointed men who are ready to be fathers and functioning parts of society. Go ahead, mutilate your genitals. I don't care. I couldn't care less if you converted to a man.
People who have made the intelligent decision to not have children should be applauded. Not ridiculed.
This opinion is cringe worthy
Good oponion
They deserve ridiculed because they are too young and it seems there following a fad a trend they want to be free but that way of thinking is flawed because you can’t run away from responsibility.
@@kenshinscott running away from which responsibility? The responsibility that has to be reproduced first? No thanks.
@@misspratibha9934 When you grow up you learn that life has responsibility you can’t run away from it it will always be there, when your young you want to play have fun and be free to do what you want, but when u become a adult you have to give up this mentally and contribute back to society because you learn this world is not a playground you have to give back, and that means having children who will also contribute to society. They are too young and ignorant to understand how life works plus they are making a decision that only a husband and wife should make it should never be made alone and with someone your not married too as like many people they can and will regret it when they get older and they desire there own biological children. Every action has consequences don’t ignore this and pretend everything will be ok that’s wishful thinking and again shows immaturity. And why is this generation so spoiled that they think that they can overwrite what makes us human we all want children we all want to have a family our body will always gravitate towards it.
I think people who dont want kids should have the right to make sure they dont. As a child of a women who didnt want me it's way worse being raised by someone who resents you.
I never wanted to be a mother and was told numerous times "You'll change your mind." Guess what- I'm 52 years old now, and I never changed my mind- and I never had any kids. But, I do resent that no doctor would consider giving me a tubal ligation.
I am in the USA where the only option I have is the private route- and they always turned me down.
EB-87 what
I think you are talking about yourself,hentai addict.
EB-87 See this guy's comments are the manifestation of the motherhood destiny/instinct that we are brought up with to believe from early childhood. That women are destined to bare children. But for whom if not for themselves? That is the question that many folks ask themselves more and more and face backlash for that. That women and men can shape their own life more freely, not always in line with what a nation or religion demands of them. And that scares some people.
What the hell are you talking about?,reproduction is instinct for survival,animals reproduce,bacteriae reproduce,plants reproduce,and most of them are already more intelligent without a brain than the average eurobastard that sterilises him/herself.Religion,science,society and everything you believe comes AFTER reproduction.
adults should be allowed to do whatever they want to their own bodies, if they regret it they can just adopt.
I WANT to adopt. There are so many children in this world who have no one, so why should I put a child in this world only so I can say that he or she shares my DNA? I don't even want to think I put someone there, not knowing what the future will bring. Any child I adopt would have been born regardless and have a better life with me than not being adopted. I also have certain issues in my family I don't want to pass on.
Yeah Adoption is one way. Good point!
Yes adoption just completely slipped off my mind. Adoption would be awesome. Another life would get a great life given by adopting parents.
It would somehow sounds like an excuse.
And if I regret not having children, that's my problem do deal with.
I feel so sorry for the fact this beautiful young woman will now never be...........
........
......
..... a space ballerina.
Seriously, I didn't even know I needed space ballerinas, but I totally need space ballerinas.
It's not impossible. Call elon and ask him to have the Nutcracker preformed on his spaceship. There see. You're welcome.😁
Yes, it's a serious decision, but having a child is much more serious. Not having kids is a personal choice, but when you're having kids, there is another human being involved.
And yet, we don't treat people who want children like that.
" But, it's so final! Once you're a parent, you'll always be a parent. What if you change your mind about it later?
You're only 25, why not wait a few years? What if you regret having a child, hm?"
I had a friend go through this, she asked many doctors, again and again, but in the end, she had to wait till her late 30s to get the procedure. Years later, she's still happy with her decision, but of course she whishes she'd been able to do it earlier.
They treat you like not having kids is always the wrong decision. Oh, you DO want kids, you just don't know yet. You don't know what you're doing.
Sterilisation is a drastic, life changing and permanent decision...but so is having children.
EXACTLY. thankyou. One doesn't magically become a good parent when they see their kid.
better to not have children and regret it then having a child and regretting them
If you have children and later regret,you are the greatest disgrace of a living being ever to be.Not even the most stupid of animals act like that.
Chewy Praline I'm not saying you have to be a bad person but if you brought someone into this world and you regret doing so and you have to deal with them for 18 years there is going to be some resentment. and even if there is not, it is still a very unfortunate situation. ive seen this first hand. my view is not black and white but merely realistic.
Word!
I imagine that a lot of people have children that they love but realize that they're crap parents. That doesn't give them the right to be a crap parent but I wouldn't blame them for regretting it.
amber cotto if they ever did change their minds there are plenty of children who are already born or going to be, that they could foster or adopt
I have mental and physical disorders that are passed on genetically and family history shows that I WILL pass them on. I am not going to put a child through my hell just because it's 'what I'm suppose to do'
Some people really be mad about something that doesn’t involve them 🥴
Yes but only because they know better.
@@allybally0021 Same person that probably thinks abortion should be illegal but won't give woman the option to sterilize themselves. How does someone's body involve you.
When it involves the tax payers money, then yes they can have an opinion about it
@Black metal baby I'll come out of pocket for my sterilization of I have to so I'm on your side
@@kristianaambrasa8894 Less unwanted babies = less tax payers' money being spend in the future
My English teacher and his wife are almost in their 40’s and do not want children. His answer to people who ask him why are “I’m a high school teacher, technically I’ve had thousands of children! I think I’ve had my share!”
He’s amazing lol
My English teacher said the same. She was the most amazing lady very strict yes but so very caring. She just had this motherly feel about her, i was so surprised to find out she never had kids because all the kids she has in her classes are her children. And i find that beautiful it still gives me goosebumps i miss her so much.
tbh though.. being a teacher will probably make you sort of hate kids
@@bxundxm Another basement dwelling Incel who will NEVER reproduce speaks out about sex he will never have.
+Dana W You XX's are pretty obsessed with sex,but still you are unable to recognize you were made to reproduce,can you? I'm not an incel anyway,but if I were,that wouldn't bother me much,and it should bother you either,unless you have a personal intereset in my life.
Technically he's right lol
I can't believe how many people are against something that doesn't affect them at all.
Well you know nothing about human beings then. That's practically all we do. Care about stuff that doesn't affect us
Speak4 yourself
I don't got issue thy choose to do so,
Being a vegan I'm sure you scrutinise meat eaters even though they don't effect you at all 😂
Exactly, they don't want children, who cares?
everything always effects eveyrone... society wether we like it or not , works like that
My daughter is a beautiful, fun loving person, but she voiced her thoughts quite loudly, that she never wanted kids! And these were voiced at 12 years old! She always told guys she dated, that if they wanted kids someday, she was not the person they wanted to be with. She finally met the man of her dreams, who also did not want kids! She could not get fixed because of doctors telling her no, that she was to young! Which she wasn't. She was married and taking all kinds of protection to keep from getting pregnant. She went to her doctor and talked about it, because her husband was concerned about her health because of all the years of birth control pills. She came home crying and told her husband they said no. He told her it would be ok because they did not turn men down, and so he was fixed! Now they are happier than ever and living their life like they want. She asked me how I felt about her not having me grandkids? Well, I have always known how she felt about this and it was always fine with me! I have grandkids, great grandkids out the ass! In my opinion, they were doing the responsible thing!
This worries me a lot. I have a 19 year old & a 15 year old. They both don't want biological children. The 19 year old, yea I maybe could see her changing her mind at some point because she honestly loves kids but I still see it as her decision. The 15 year old though. She won't ever change hers. She fiercely loathes children & does her absolute best never to be in the same place they are.
She isn't an awful person. She loves & takes wonderful care of her 2 dogs. She is smart & not prone to emotional outbursts. She just doesn't want kids ever. Why in the world should she be forced into either having them or being on hormones that she has a negative reaction when she takes them for 30+ years if she wants to have a relationship? It's madness. I love her a lot & she has so many special gifts but a maternal instinct is not one of those gifts.
I don't need grandchildren because I Goddamn refuse to put any want I may have over how they choose to live their lives. Who does that? Telling them "you'll change your mind" is the same damn thing as telling them "I know what's in your head better than you do." As much as everyone thinks everyone feels the same things, that just is not the case. If both my daughters wanted to be sterilized, I'd have zero issues with that. If I as their mother have no problem with their decision, how can someone who sees them for 15 minutes maybe a couple times a year have such a huge issue with it?
As an fyi for all those "I shouldn't have to pay for your lifestyle" types, we all pay for each other's choices. That's the way society works. I'd much rather pay the small cost for a tubal ligation for someone that knows they shouldn't have kids than the benefits, school, therapy & possible prison costs of someone raising kids they don't want & shouldn't have had. The math works out much better that way.
mae eswards she’s lucky to have such a good mom
I knew I didn't want to have kids from around the same age (over 5yrs b4 having sex) and I've NEVER had a seconds doubt and I've caused three guys to get sterilized. One which I'd NEVER wish that on but it was his choice and he didn't include me in it (he was 20 without kids), and two others who already had at least two kids and didn't want any more anyways I just gave them the last push they needed.
So apparently I'm a one women wrecking machine. Lol I'd LOVE to be sterilized but it costs FAR more, and I don't tolerate ANY injury as it'd cause me life long pain AND permanent nerve damage thanks to a rare condition.
Luckily for me, my partner was willing to get sterilized as I also can't tolerate birth control. So long as I could take one birth control pill I was fine, but they discontinued it and the others I tried make me feel God awful.
Thus for about 6yrs I was fine and then I spent a couple yrs using spermacide, as I have a interesting effect on latex, I dissolve it. Don't ask me how, luckily I found out on gloves when I was doing lots of lab work as a undergrad NOT when I got pregnant.
I was a highly intelligent woman who grew up in poverty I never wanted children and wasn’t maternal,but I felt social and husband pressure to have children,I had 5 was a great and loving mother but secretly I wish I’d never do it,iv never had a life travelled been free or lived my life my way
Hopefully you may be able to travel later on when the children are older? Hugs. xx
It's the ultimate taboo isn't it . Plenty of dead beat dads but lots of mums who stick it out. Then everybody says "women never regret kids" noooo..... women never say it out loud
beautifulangel32 I think you have probably said what a lot of mothers feel but don't say !
Shit I'm so sorry ♡ ♡ brave share friend
So sorry, that you do not want children does not mean you can not love them if you have them, it just was not what you planned.
I've always hated that at 27 i'm old enough to make the decision to have a baby, to look after another life, but i'm not old enough to decide that I don't want to ever have a child of my own. Crazy.
You are old enough, just take contraception , even with the misfortune of a broken condom there is the day after pill . We are in 2017 , really no reason to wanting to have these operations if one doesn't want kids . It's easy not to have kids nowadays .
Clearly you aren't very aware of how horrible all contraception (aside from condoms/abstaining) is for women. Let people be worry and problem free by making their own choices.
hormonal contraception is not an option for many women, the ones who can take it experience side effects. I would rather be sterilized and not have to deal with monthly periods...
Get the skills and do it or pay for it yourself then. No one is stopping you if you can afford it.
I knew a couple who didn't want kids then decided they did years later. People do change their mind.
28 years later, I've never regretted it. We put too much importance on "having your own" kids. Humans aren't endangered and there are still orphans on the planet.
Well, it is biologically speaking the only reason we are ever born. But that´s that, a lot of people don´t want children and taht is perfectly fine. But adopting and having kids of your own are two completely different things that should not be compared with each other, because it doesn´t work.
I think you said it perfectly!
biologically the only reason? Oh, where'd you go to consult biology on it's motivations? Ohhhh, evolution, plain common logic. If you don't breed, your genetics get dropped from the gene pool, right? Yeah, except my brother and sister both bred and their genetics are my genetics so my genes ARE still in the pool. What's not in the pool is the flawed offspring of a person who categorically does not want to deal with babies. That's not a bad thing. As to "purpose of being born" it's pretty limiting to suggest we're on the level with adult moths, here to spawn and die. Humans who didn't have children are often the ones who advance society because they're not tied down and exhausted. Therefor, sterile humans can very much advance the human race and it's place on the earth. Biology must surely appreciate the sterile humans in it's evolutionary designs, don't you think? Or do you think? Because this might be too complicated for you to follow. Sum it up: not breeding means more working means great value means important too.
anar kiszt lol you sound bitter 😂😂
Sofia Bravo No, they don't. Where on earth did you get that from?
Being sterilised will save the NHS cost of contraception and childbirth... Then all the health costs of more persons. How can it not be a saving to get sterilised?
If you are sterilized, pls still use protection! you do not want to risk getting an std and spreading it
Of you're monogamous, STIs shouldn't be an issue. Otherwise, yeah. Condoms.
Not everyone sleeps around
why is it so hard to understand that some people don't want children?
Laurie Mack
Because people just LOVE CONTROLLING OTHERS, BOY HOWDY!!!!!
Because for some limited minded people any choice outside the "norm" as they define it is inherently hard for them to understand.
Yeah, I don't want any crotch spawn either. I knew at age 17 I didn't want kids. 21 years later, I am happily childfree. I spoil my niece and nephews, but I get to come home and unwind without screaming at kids to stop fighting or clean up messes.
+Low Fidelity it has nothing to do with controlling . Doctors are worried of being sued by these people if they regret . People are not cats after all , sterilizing humans is something weird , hitler used to advocate that . There are so many way not to get pregnant nowadays . It's crazy to ask a doctor to remove a healthy organ from your body . That doctor will be worried of being sued .
Laurie Mack What’s so hard about telling your mate to put a condom on
It irritates me when they are saying that these people will regret it! Yes, maybe some will, but they can always adopt! They act as though that it isn't even an option! Your baby doesn't always have to be biologically yours! There are so many children who need loving families worldwide!
After having with my wife my first child I decided it was enough and I got a Vasectomy done here in Mexico for free. It is a quite simple surgery and you get out walking in 20 mins with a bag of ice in your crutch and some painkillers. The doctor told me that if I regretted there was always the possibility of undoing the operation or to get some sperm from my balls with a syringe and a needle (Ouch!!!). I haven't regretted and I am quite happy I should have it before getting pregnant my wife to be honest. But ok life is still good.
yeah uh..the doc was BS-ing you. a vasectomy is only reversible for two years...if you've had it longer...you're permanent & there is NO going back.
And just imagine what their face would be like if you said it to someone who just had a baby xD
but there are reversible vasectomies and regular vasectomies. My husband had the reversible one soon after we met, we weren't ready to have kids and birth control did horrible things to me. Five years later he got it reversed, we now have a beautiful 8 year old who feels like the most special little girl in the world because we were ready and extremely happy when she was born :)
Kenna R. Not everybody wants to raise a child thats not their own. I personally could never adopt because i couldnt love someone elses child. But yeah its their choice. Someone being sterile doesnt affect me at all lol.
If I had the guts to surgically make myself not ever get pregnant I would. I don't want kids. I'm even celibate so I make sure I don't accidently get pregnant. I won't ever feel the need to be a mother.
I got you 💪
I’m from the UK and currently saving as much as I can. When corona virus is over I plan to see a private surgeon to try and get my tubes cut and cauterised. I plan on not having sex till the surgery is done. But if I do happen to have sex (unlikely ) I’ll use condoms. I’m nearly 26. I’m very excited. Hopefully a surgeon approves me x
"your womb collapsed?!"
,"yea it's OK tho"
Mood
pεαςh_pαηdα ʕ0ᴥ0ʔ same!!
Realising you are unfit to be a parent and doing something about it, is amazing.I respect these people a lot.Many people have children and then realize that they don't want them, which leads to neglect and abuse.
Why do people always assume people who don't want children are unfit to do so? I'd be an amazing mum, i'm stable, financially secure, in a loving relationship and grew up with lots of love and support, I just simply do not want a child, the same way I don't want a land rover, doesn't appeal to me or the way I see my life. People who do not want children usually put a lot more effort into that decision than some people who do
@@bunjitsu7046 i mean some may not want to and for some it could be life or death (especially if dying during childbirth is common in their family)
And some can say that they are unfit either emotionally,mentally or money wise (like me)
But yeah everyone has different reasons
True
@@bunjitsu7046 you are correct and if you are in a comfortable 💜 relationship then that's staying in your lane.. cuz you obviously know ur boundaries. I should have written that in there as well. I'm no hypocrite & im not afraid to say i had my daughter with her father but have always been her sole Caretaker 24 yrs. old and i remained single and Celibate for 10 yrs. My body is simply my temple of God and we were not together and i raised her alone and take full authority given unto me.. but im not ascribed to throwing you or others under the bus. We each should have accountability by way of what kind of fruit we are.. much love ! 💓💕
you say many like half the population hates their children. you need to take that number way down, like the number of women having abortions because of rape. these are rarities. you have no idea just how barbaric it is for a woman to even have an abortion. she puts her life in the palm of a blind man. look into kermit gosnel. and its not just him. he just got caught. there are thousands just like him. people who dont give two shits about you or your body. do we even know how many women die of botched abortions?? we dont because they dont get reported. do you know how easy it is for the abortionist to go right throught your uterus with those tools?? he starts removing bowl because he has just pierced the womb with and he doesnt even know it. he starts chopping away at intestines pulling them into the womb and out the vagina because he is literally blind going in and has to rely on familiar lumps and bumps that he THINKS is the baby. did you know these doctors wont even send these women to the ER because they dont want unwanted attention brought on the abortion clinic?? this is just the tip of the iceberg. it gets A LOT worse. there are things these people do to you that you wouldnt dream of in your worst nightmares. do you think all this is worth killing a baby when you can just give her up for adoption?? you probably do. but at least i tried
if you are 30 years old and do not want kids..chances are you legitimately mean you don't want kids
I like the woman saying it "harms the organ". Like hormonal contraceptive isn't slowly turning out to be have nefarious effects on the long term for women :/
So what let them be sterile......
If one day they want children then there are plenty of children that need to be adopted🙄🙄🙄
Mind your business 💃
Yes because raising someone else's children is just the same as raising your own.
Al yes actually. It is.
Al i mean, why not give that child a home? And who says it can’t be? Family doesn’t necessarily need to be biological.
Nae Nae absolutely agree ! Never understood why people wouldn’t want to adopt. Picture this scene *woman and her husband are crying thier eyes out due to infertility* I walk in with a new baby in my arms and say ‘look at this baby it has nothing and no one, it’ll grow up in the system etc, you can have it I’ll give it to you now. *so they lean in to peek at this kid, look at each other and go, Urm nah* and then go home empty handed and alone. ITS SOOOO STUPID! In the animal kingdom if a baby is rejected or it’s mother dies the herd will take it in... but with humans? Nope. Nothing. They would rather let their own species be left out in the cold because it’s not ‘theirs’ Ridiculous 🤦🏻♀️💔
Jodie Gills exactly! It’s so weird to me because a human is a human and there’s nothing wrong with that. You need to work with what you have ✨
"Sterilization damages a perfectly healthy working organ".... Yeah, that's the point. For those who don't want to reproduce, it's kind of a feature, not a bug. 🙄
beckerkorn1 it can damage other necessary organs dumbass
Ana Morgan lmao what organ does it damage? Literally nothing
beckerkorn1 why do people care so much about what others do? Its getting so old really
@@dianamorgan1590 yeah i wanna know what other shit it can fuck up.
beckerkorn1 The interviewer asked her what she thought about people with mental illnesses and their fear of passing it on to their children and she completely ignored the question
Leah is 29 yrs old and the reporter is asking the parents like wtf
people ask my mother all the time "it doesn't bother you that she won't give you grandchildren?" i think it's the concept that you'll always be your parents baby lol
There are plenty of people who have this idea that it is your duty to "GIVE" your parents grandchildren, and people in older generations have been taught that having grandchildren is part of a fulfilling life.
Yeah...when someone comes out as gay, it's "sad" that they can't produce biological kids for their parents, but it's not sad when a straight couple can't have kids at all.
It absolutely is sad when straight couples can't have children, what are you talking about?
Why is it so socially acceptable that people with neither a tendency nor capabilities nor will to take care of their kids actually have kids, but those who make a rational choice against it are blamed?? The world is so dumb that it almost makes having no child the only rational conclusion.
I thought there would be wild comments under this video; it felt so nice to be wrong this time.
I agree. I prefer mild comments myself.
Same!!!
People don't need an excuse to not want children. It's not what everyone has to do, it's not a goal in everyone's life.
The world would be way too over populated if everyone was spawning kids.
Jade Beau we are way too overpopulated but I agree with your other point
Jade Beau this is sooo true!! Couldn't agree more with the first statement, they don't need an excuse.
Jade Beau Too bad a lot of people think that that's a woman's sole purpose. Though most wouldn't admit they think that way.
As it stands now, the worst people are outbreeding the best people (dysgenics).
you made me laugh at ' spawning kids' hahahha
Women can get abortions but a way to prevent abortions is bad???
Yeah, and if you have children and can't afford them, and need assistance, then you are a scumbag for having kids. You just can't win.
+Tia D., it's all about forcing their "morals" on you. Just listen or read the counterargument that you stated above, they'll most likely say that you should take some responsibility and take care of the child without the assistance of others since it's not their fault that you got pregnant. I swear these people see the child as a punishment for having sex, something they personally believe in due to religious beliefs .
"Never to know the weight of his child in you, what is your body now if not a famine road"
You raise a good point
Considering there has always been some more men than women,and now most women want to sterilise themselves,this means opinion of men who want to have children is as useless as a dirt bag,isn't it?
The government needs to stop tryna control what people do with their bodies!
Not if the consequences are at a cost to everyone else. Do as you are told.
@@SB-dx7kb I am not angry. I just believe government policy needs enforced. I see the game you are playing putting yourself against the authorities.
@@allybally0021 someone not wanting children does not effect you. There are millions of other people having multiple children.
@@whisper4367 I had never thought of that. Now I am a changed man.
If they want children if they are older, they can adopt...what is the problem?
fertility is a gift to those who want to be parents, but it is not to those who don't to them it is a terrifying thought
Honestly let them do it. If someone really doesn't want to be a parent that badly, then they probably wouldn't make good parents. That's more babies in foster care.
Katie Redfield because there's such a thing as ethics.
If someone doesn't want a child.. they could give it up for adoption, that's where she gets it from.. but other than that if people are opting for sterilization because of health or mental reasons than it's best not to even a have a child and risk that child being neglected or abused.. or killed because they were unwanted.
Katie Redfield they want the NHS to pay for it
Even most people who want children badly, don't make good parents...
yes they can be allowed as long as the NHS does not pay for that fair enough
Good to see some "thinking" people who make necessary decisions about their future! I sure do appreciate prevention of unwanted children. Far wiser than the cruel alternatives imo.
Today I was approved for sterilisation at 26. I’m in the uk, and am paying all my own money for my operation. I’m so happy xxxx
I think it's better to adopt a child after sterilization rather than give up a child after realizing you don't want it.
Cam Cam right
Yazmine Cristina that's a stupid thing. What's the point sterilisation if you are going to adopt, the whole point is that you don't want kids.
Mademoiselle De La foret In case they do regret it
@Mademoiselle
juust because your own body cannot produce a child doesn't mean that one can't love an adopted child. Those aren't mutually exclusive
Masha G people who say they are certain they don't want kids and get sterilised would not adopt kids because the "main" point is not wanting to have kids. But unless they do regret they could adopt one anyways
It's her body an her life. It's not affecting you, and she could still always adopt. I don't see why it's such a big deal.
Nici Mastropasqua her wanting it to be paid for by the NHS is wrong
Yeah why are pregnancies paid by the NHS? Or should people with a certain life choice only be helped? Sterilising someone is much cheaper than dealing with a pregnancy and the child after.
Davina Elgazzar amen bro!
those ideas do infect and affect society, so it does end up affecting me
this type of freedom is a race to the bottom
***** I'm more talking about those trying to push social changes to get their fetishes accepted
Aint NOBODY gonna tell me what to do with MY body!!!!!
I got my tubes completely removed this year at 18 years old. It’s only been a couple months but I have absolutely 0 regret and don’t think I ever will. I plan to adopt when I’m financially, emotionally and physically ready.
There's a video on RUclips a woman got her tubes removed completely & 5 yrs later, she got pregnant.
These people are doing this world a favor, 7 billion+ and rising rapidly, its a choice and it should be respected just as you'd like your choices to be!
not really the high IQ races are not rising in fact they are decreasing
while the low IQ races are pumping out off spawn at an alarming rate
The native European population isn't rising, it's shrinking faster than anywhere else. White people are a minority, it's only in predominantly and third world countries that the population is increasing, the most civilized places like Japan and western Europe are seeing fewer births every year and an ever increasing migrant population.
+Roll Fizzlebeef actually whites are not a minority maybe in some major cities tho.
we have also colonized America, Canada, south africa, new Zealand, Australia etc and millions or BRITs millions or Europeans moved to the new found land what is today USA.
with a massive growing population smart folk will be hard to find.
Actually white people make up less than 8% of the global population, white people are a minority compared to other races - European birth rates are still declining.
+Roll Fizzlebeef There are different shades to color, for 8% of the worlds population we have more land mass then colored folks, we have the largest countries.
And that 8% is taking it too far!
You made a mistake by firstly comparing one race against every other race!
the number would obviously be higher when comparing to a greater overall population of mixed demographic.
I've also been to places where all white, brown and black mix! but you only see in black and white -_- so i guess your numbers are gonna keep dropping. lol.
"I've never had any issues apart from catching it in a zip once"
This is the kind of optimism I need in my life
Stacey Rose -Ouch!
Stacey Rose what is that?
A zipper
Yazmine Cristina its when youre zipping up your pants and a bit of down there may get caught in it. its awful, really.
Women are allowed to not want children 👏🏾
“But whAt about the feeling of being a mother” just NO
I just wanted to comment my experience with a woman who didn't want children. My auntie was quite the eccentric. Bright colored hats, flaming red hair. She was an artist. She told me my whole life she didn't want kids of her own. She didn't want kids of her own but she loved kids. She was the best babysitter. She was so carefree. Dancing, painting. So easy to talk to. She didn't want to be a mother herself but she impacted many kids and people's lives. Including mine. Just because you don't want kids, doesn't mean you don't like them. I later learned, after her death, she was mentally ill. I think she was afraid her children would suffer the same.
She sounds wonderful
Aww
Xara took my answer!
😁
Im glad you had a cool aunt!
I think I might be his kind of aunt!
what an amazing story thanks loved it and very moved
Why do people see this as a problem? It's up to them if they want kids or not. I really don't get it.
honestly
They probably want to see more Brits being born and fewer births among arabs.
At 13 minutes I suddenly screamed "Blessed be the Fruit!" What's happening?
May the lord open
🤣🤣🤣
So much respect for these people. Realizing you aren't fit to raise children and actively doing something about it should be commended. Their body their choice and I would rather support this than women having children than either killing them...abusing them...or god knows what else.
you had the chance to make a comment agreeing that people should have a choice, instead you go the eugenicist route this documentary promotes of removing peoples organs based on disability... So nice when disabled people decide on their own they are inferior huh? but i know you ignore forced sterilisations of disabled people anyway...
@@thisbunnyquestionspsychiatry its still their choice no one is forcing them....why reply to a 2yr old comment ...just write your own comment next time instead of wanting attention so damn bad
@@m0nr0emisfit Must be nice to look like the good guy while promoting the idea that disabled people should be sterilised. Yes nobody EVER forces disabled people to be sterilised NEVER HAPPENS, completely their choice every time, no coersion! There is no forceful sterilisation happening to disabled people globally.. (And i did write my own comment before)
Another reason why I was sterilised not just on health grounds but also because abortion would never be an option for me, the child also has the rights to its own body
People get pissed when people get pregnant and have abortions because they don't want kids, but when they want to do something to prevent the pregnancies to begin with because they know they don't want children, that's an issue? I've heard the saying, "some people shouldn't be allowed to have children." Well why can't people be allowed to choose to not ever have children? People are too worried about what other people are doing. Let them make their choices...so what if they end up wanting kids and having regrets...let them adopt...there's a ton of children that need a family.
Rachel Cox- I agree, ppl hate when other ppl do something to their bodies such as plastic surgery, a trans person transitioning, abortions, or sterilization. I never really understand how is that any of their business, it's not even their bodies. Just because ppl can reproduce doesn't mean you should. It's obvious that these don't want to bring mentally ill children into the world to suffer and spare them from the pain that it would likely be passed down. I don't understand why in the hell would you want mentally ill ppl to reproduce specially after suicides and massive shootings going on.
People are triggered. Someone has a kid young and it’s the end of the world ! Someone doesn’t want kids ever it’s the end of the world ! Society has ridiculous expectations. Do what makes you happy that’s what I say !
Thé funniest thing is that people who say “some people shouldn’t be allowed to have children” are almost always awful parents
@@jaceyjacobs4013 Tea!!!!!
Rachel Cox very true this is a pro life choice if you ask me! way better then an abortion!
If they are old enough to know they want children, they are old enough to know they don't want them.
I think this is great. Responsible people who will not bring unwanted children in this world.
I got fixed at age 30. Best decision I ever made
Getting sterilized doesnt mean you dont get to be a parent. There are hundreds od thousands if not millions of orphans in this world.
Id rather see tax money go to this.
Very true !
Just adopt kids from ur country.
Change your mind?
...Adopt...?
Give a quality life to a child who's fallen on hardship at a young age?
Hi breeder!
I'm surprised that adoption wasn't brought up
Excellent point
adoption is extremely expensive and can take years
Further Into The Rabbit Hole I understood where you're coming from but it's getting easier every year for people to adopt. The whole point is that people have choice, some people who are completely fertile choose to adopt; it's simply about giving people freedom to do what they want to their own bodies and how they want to raise a family, if they even want to raise one. 💕
I find it quite sad that 1 in 7 couples struggle with infertility and would give their left arm to have a child, and end up spending thousands on fertility treatments..yet there are others who make themselves infertile on purpose and abort their babies. Why cant the ones that DONT want babies be infertile? Life is unfair like that..
I think so. I always knew from a very young age I didn’t want children. Here in the United States, I had to fight to get my tubes tied. Not every one is meant to be parents. I was single and never had kids. I got them tied at the age of 30. Even on the day of my surgery, they asked me if I wanted to change my mind. I am now 45 and I haven’t regretted it. People like us, we know for sure we don’t want kids. There is nothing wrong with not wanting children. Why should someone have a kid when they don’t want one.
they complain of paying taxes for sterilization but paying taxes for an abandoned child is far more expensive.
In addition, if that unwanted child is raised by people who hate it, the general public are going to pay for that child's mental health counseling for decades. That is also going to be expensive.
i dont understand why people are treating these people like children or very young adults in their teens still. these people are in their late twenties, early thirties. if you think that someone is mature enough to make the decision to have a child at those ages but not a sterilization, then youre a hypocrite.
I like how people forget you can adopt kids if you want them
I just wish there wasn't such a huge upfront cost..
Exactly!
I’m 25 and just got my tubes removed. I have wanted this since I was 13. I can not tell anyone how relieved I was when I came out of surgery and realized it was done.
What allowed you to get it so young? Did you just get lucky, was there health issues, etc?
Hey, all that matters is that _I_ want kids (only three). These people are saving an entire potential generation from getting hurt and abused, and I actually applaud and respect them for that.
I am a childless person. I never wanted to play mother to my dolls in childhood. Once I reached adulthood the prospect of pregnancy was depressing and anxiety provoking. I am now 61 and have no regrets that I didn't have a child. So if you are young, don't let anyone tell you that you don't know your own mind. If you are a healthcare provider, please remember you now totally believe that a person knows he is gay at 10 or she is a boy in a girls body at 8. Give adults the same courtesy.
Pregnancy and motherhood is such a huge huge commitment, I suffer from anxiety and pregnancy has increased my anxiety drastically, it's difficult at times no matter how much you love your child or are happy about your decision. People should definitely be able to make their own decisions and choices, sterilisation should be a more available option.
I decided at age 14 that I would never have kids. I am now 29 and my mind has not changed once.
I never wanted kids either mainly because I hate the idea of giving birth. Anyway when I was 27 I told someone that and they said I was a complete weirdo! I have a problem and was told I was never going to get pregnant but now I am at 32. I don’t agree with abortion but that just because of what I seen happened to my family members doing that. Anyway am having the baby but in all honestly if I never fell pregnant it wouldn’t of bother me. And if someone feel is strongly than they should be allow to do what they wanted to do xx
Funny my 13 years says she doesn't want kids and has for years. I'm ok with it. It's her life. If she's happy, I'm happy
Marie lisa You're a good parent. Too many people demand grandchildren from their kids like it's a god-given right.
I'm so glad to see so many parents starting to respect their child's choices as they grow :)
I really don't understand the way the Brits call it "falling" pregnant as if being pregnant is an illness. America just says "I became (past tense) and I am (current tense)" so I don't get why they say fell. Getting pregnant isn't an illness.
@@fireflights1977 It is just a saying chill out lol
When I was 27 I had to fight with my dr in order to have my tubes tied. I already had a two year old, I had been diagnosed with a progressive disease that has now caused me to be disabled. I had to fight with the doctor to have the procedure done, because I was too young or I might change my mind. Eventually I was authorized, had my tubes tied. Eventually I had to have a full hysterectomy due in part of the medical condition. He doctor who did the hysterectomy said my tubes should had never been tied, I should have been given a hysterectomy in the beginning.
It’s so unbelievable that we have to fight for the right to choose what is best.
I love you for fighting for what you want. I had Stage 4 Endometriosis. Never wanted children. I had to see 5 doctors and suffered over 15 years until my hysterectomy at 30.
A sterilization is so much cheaper than a pregnancy and childbirth, let alone the cost of raising the child.
I have a disease that makes me sterile (and in constant excruciating pain) and yet doctors keep telling me "you'll regret a hysterectomy" pal I can't have kids even if I wanted them...
Dannika Moses same
Dannika Moses nah it's more like, you're leg doesn't work at all and it's just useless so why not remove it?
Dannika Moses ill get you pregnant ive got a little man sword but a big arse and im probably firing blanks but i dont mind putting in the hours of gruelling work 😲👍
I'd honestly rather sit on a chainsaw then roll myself into a cactus patch and bathe in lemon juice
Nilbog what are you talking about?
If you become sterile and for some reason regret it later, there’s a thing called adoption. If you don’t want to pass on diseases you have that are genetic, then get sterilised and if you still want children just adopt. I know people that have been sterilised knowing they didn’t want kids of their own, but adopted anyway. Honestly sterilisation seems like a good idea to me since I don’t want kids of my own, and if I do I’ll adopt.
Never wanted children. Never will. Also fertility isn’t a gift when you don’t want children. It’s a curse.
My thoughts exactly
“Equally I will never be a space ballerina” I love her and I get her and I have so much respect for her.
She has me asking myself, did we just become best friends?!
Yes because being a space ballerina is something very attainable and giving up on it is a real heart-wrenching and life-affirming decision just like choosing to never be able to have kids.
There's like 7 BILLION people in this world. Leave these people alone.
“Should young people be allowed” um I’m an adult, if I’m old enough to pay for it, then I should be allowed
“Life is about closing doors to open other ones “🙏🏽
Im 27 and I dont want children I felt like this all my life. I get crazy arguments, what about women who cant have children. So how is me having a child going help them. Not even a valid argument. I have no interest in having children the thought of it makes me cry. I would be miserable.
Ash seriously? How is it in any way your responsibility if someone can't have children? Of course it must be hard on those women but as you said, how would you having a child that you don't want help them?
That's the logic people who simply don't want children get. They get this guilt-trip that just because someone who was born sterile cannot have kids, people who desire to sterilize themselves should make the most of their reproductive system as it's a 'privilege' shared by those with healthy functioning reproductive systems have. It's bullshit. Just because someone would give anything in the world to have an offspring by blood doesn't mean people should feel they have to reproduce. Life's unfair ppl. Better rip that bandaid off sooner than later.
Ash - you know your own mind. I was the same as you at 27 absolutely certain. Now I'm 42 and it's no longer possible for me due to an emergency hysterectomy at 40. Really regret not having children now and the choice is now gone. Whatever you choose in the future I wish you a wonderful and happy and fulfilling life. Best wishes x
Sunny Days why not adopt? Your young enough.
Sunny Days you left it to 40 and didnt have kids, putting yourself in a higher chance of having a child with genetic abnormalities.
And now suddenly you "regret" it after 2 years of not being able to. Bullshit. And if you REALLY do, then adopt.
I was sterilized at 25. I have several degrees including a Masters (some people think that's important to note because I should pass my "smarts" on". I told no one of my tubal ligation because I didn't care about anyone else's opinions. I paid for it myself through private insurance, though it took a few years to convince my surgeon. Though I have an (invisible) physical disability that would make pregnancy harmful too me, and motherhood awful... the reason I chose sterilization is because I don't want to have kids. Having kids is a choice, I choose NO. Not ever.
Mind if I ask if you had any health issues since the sterilization?
Xxxsorrow None relating to the sterilization. I had pre-existing disorders. But my gyno stuff has actually levelled out - ridiculously even and predictable cycles, incredibly short cycles (2-3 days of light bleeding) and little to no pms symptoms.
Lady Lara could you tell be a bit about how long the surgery took, how much it cost you and how long it took for you to recover?
roxiechan1 Thank you, but I restpectfully disagree. I don't think I'm brave. I'm selfish. But I think that's exactly how that decisions regarding our own bodies should be. My body, my future, my choice. Its the definition of selfish - but we seem to think of selfish in negative terms. Its interesting isn't it how you would call this choice brave, it shouldn't have to be thought of as brave at all. Self centered, selfish, ego-centric are all things I have been called regarding this decision... why yes, a decision about me, for me, advocated by me, thought at length by me, performed willingly on me. This decision and my life IS all about me. So by definition I would expect it to be selfish.
Nia D Pretty much! Well done for grasping the concept so quickly! 😚
A lot of people shoundn't have children. I inherited my mother's hereditary mental illness, In my case treated, in my mothers case not. I decided when I was in my 20's that the only thing I could give a child was what my mother gave me. A terrible, awful childhood. I had a procedure when I was 35 that also left me sterile. I don't regret it.
I rather regret having no children, than having one...