I thought jj bittenbinder was universally known, but apparently I just happened to be one of the unlucky middle schoolers who was also shown jj bittenbinder’s stranger danger presentation
For those not in the know, one of Bob Odenkirk’s characters from Mr. Show was also based on Bittenbinder. “F.F. Woodycook” gave street smarts lessons while also owning an ice cream parlor. “We’re gonna shake the crime stick!” Hilarious.
As i saw JJ Bittenbinder do a presentation for adults at a public library in Chicago. His advice was actually great and 28 years later I still remember it. He did not where the cowboy hat but the rest is accurate.
I think John might actually be traumatized by all those stranger danger talks. The way he tells us he carries himself just walking down the street, the way he says he behaved like an adult when he was a child, like he’d seen everything. I feel like many adults in his youth failed to really pay attention to how small he actually was. I hope therapy is doing something for him. And I hope he doesn’t feel too awkward if he ever stumbles on this comment.
Which advise is better remembered, a pg rap from some cheap furry mascot, or that crazy rant from a brokenhearted and traumatized homicide detective? He may have given you nightmares and trust issues, but hes probably saved a life or two as well
Well, thank ya for askin'. I used the Bittenbinder method. When l saw the perp approachin', l chewed up a tab of Alka-Seltzer l carry with me at all times. This created a foaming-at-the-mouth appearance that made it look like l had rabies. Now I've thrown him of his rhythm. Then l reach into his jacket pocket where l planted a gram of coke and I went, 'Whoa! What the f@#% is this?' And he goes, 'That's not mine. I never seen that before.' I go, 'Boo-hoo, it's in your jacket. And you're doing two to ten and your kids are going into Social Services.' Now he's cryin'!
I thought jj bittenbinder was universally known, but apparently I just happened to be one of the unlucky middle schoolers who was also shown jj bittenbinder’s stranger danger presentation
good god man im so sorry
We didn't even have any stranger danger presentations in my country ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
I just found an old video of one of the street smart session
sometimes we would have days where we talked a lot about safety but nothing like that
Until John Mulaney, I'd never even HEARD of JJ Bittenbinder
“JJ Bittenbinder” “DETECTIVE JJ Bittenbinder”
For those not in the know, one of Bob Odenkirk’s characters from Mr. Show was also based on Bittenbinder. “F.F. Woodycook” gave street smarts lessons while also owning an ice cream parlor. “We’re gonna shake the crime stick!” Hilarious.
Might be the most memorable part of his special.
THROW YOUR WALLET FIRST. STREET SMARTS!
GO FETCH!
*trow
Lana M I HAVE NO IDEA EITHER AND I CANT FIND IT AT ALL
Lana M it's from his comedy special Kid Gorgeous
Ya-ga-ga is now a normal part of my lexicon.
Steve Kenton lexicon will now be a part of my lexicon
I read this just as he said it.
It's been added to mine as well
Detective bittenbinder seems to have traumatized John well into adulthood.
It backfired because Detective JJ Bittenbinder is upset about any time John mentions him.
He did his job then, better a kid be traumatized and safe then not traumatized and in danger.
I hope John does well in rehab. I’m so glad he’s getting help.
He did great
"backpack" bit was hilarious
I've been loooing for more john Mulaney stuff because I've watched everything with him in it already
2:33 ok but that was the cutest thing ever
I’ve never met him, but I already know he’s my favorite person.
As i saw JJ Bittenbinder do a presentation for adults at a public library in Chicago. His advice was actually great and 28 years later I still remember it. He did not where the cowboy hat but the rest is accurate.
who dressed him this day?!? he looks so good i saw the thumbnail and was like 2:23
Lol! I think "Eeyaahgahgah" is an old Celtic word for "Nice boots!" :D
Relatable, have a nice day.
You want it
GO GET IT
.
STREET SMARTS
I googled him too and was thrilled to discover that Mulaney was SPOT ON
cutest boy in the world I SWEAR
Fruits he’s 34
^ SO CUTE
Fr
What? Lol
That tall child looks terrible. Get some rest, tall child! You can’t keep burning the candle at both ends!!
stranger danger. teaching a whole generation how to avoid 1% of all kidnappers.
I wasn't sure if JJ Bittenbinder was a real person so I googled Scruff McGruff and it turns out that he is real.
bittenbinder is an awesome stand alone name wow i'm jealous
I guess this guy came out saying he doesn't think the jokes funny about him. I would disagree
Simon Mart Cool story, bro.
NOT FUNNY
I think John might actually be traumatized by all those stranger danger talks. The way he tells us he carries himself just walking down the street, the way he says he behaved like an adult when he was a child, like he’d seen everything. I feel like many adults in his youth failed to really pay attention to how small he actually was. I hope therapy is doing something for him. And I hope he doesn’t feel too awkward if he ever stumbles on this comment.
OMG I just googled this guy and I remember him from my childhood in Chicago too!!! I feel like I'm in the Twilight Zone
I love John so much!
Love the chicaaaaagooo accent reminds me of my cousins and uncles
gonna wear my BACK PACK down to the Jewel and pick up some Jays chips before I go to Portillios
This reminded me of the snl bit with the Chicago fans. "Da Bears, Da Bulls". It was funny af. Lol
At the end of this video this guy tried to get me to a SECONDARY LOCATION
This is an underrated comment.
JJ Bittenbinder writes his own punch lines
I’d argue for college and high school students loosing a bag is worse because textbooks are expensive
John mixed up the adult and child programs on purpose. But it is still hilarious.
Upload full episodes, please!
You want it? Go get it!
He's so pretty
Which advise is better remembered, a pg rap from some cheap furry mascot, or that crazy rant from a brokenhearted and traumatized homicide detective? He may have given you nightmares and trust issues, but hes probably saved a life or two as well
oh my god
John!
STREETS SMARTS
He's so cute
Where can I find his special? Thanks
Amanda Smyth netflix! :)
Lol Bittenbinder or Mulaney?
Bittenbinder had a point tho.
Backpack
just realizing we grew up with an in-house bittenbinder... dad's a cop. so many weird lectures.
Well, thank ya for askin'. I used the Bittenbinder method. When l saw the perp approachin', l chewed up a tab of Alka-Seltzer l carry with me at all times. This created a foaming-at-the-mouth appearance that made it look like l had rabies. Now I've thrown him of his rhythm. Then l reach into his jacket pocket where l planted a gram of coke and I went, 'Whoa! What the f@#% is this?' And he goes, 'That's not mine. I never seen that before.' I go, 'Boo-hoo, it's in your jacket. And you're doing two to ten and your kids are going into Social Services.' Now he's cryin'!
Now search “FF Woodycooks”
CRIME!!!
X
This was a long unfunny ramble 😛 he’s hot tho
John Mulaney would probably find this comment deeply ironic.
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