Detective Bittenbinder Takes Issue with John Mulaney's Standup
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- Опубликовано: 14 май 2018
- When James asks John Mulaney about Det. J.J. Bittenbinder, the man who taught him street smarts as a kid, the two and Zooey Deschanel realize they all received questionable self defense advice as children.
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Развлечения
James: He’s here tonight-
John: NAH NAH NAH SISTER. YOU AINT GETTIN ME TO NO SECONDARY LOCATION.
YOU WANT IT? GO GET IT!
*-Runs away-*
Who drew your avatar?
3:33
I would like this twice if I could
Omg! 🤣🤣🤣🤣
john saw his life flash before his eyes when james said bittenbinder was there
Samantha he was really thrown off his rhythm
Tim Cosgrove he needed a butter knife and a bottle of seltzer water
he thought he was gonna be taken to a secondary location
Where is your street smarts now
@Grace Magee executively produced by Dick Wolf
“He’s here”
*throws mug on ground*
“SCATTER!”
Alan Ramos that’ll surely
*throw him off his rhythm*
I have so much respect for you
Rat tat touille !!!
(Gets to a fence around the studio)
"I NEVER CLIMBED A FENCE THIS HIGH BEFORE"
And then I wake up at home.
"J J Bitterbinder is here tonight!"
John: *drops backpack and run away*
i would like this comment but its at 666 so yeah
bahkpak
You want it, go get it!
that’ll surely
throw him of his *rhythm*
@@giaisbored5580 now I reach in to his jacket pocket where I had planted a gram of coke and I go "whoa, what the fuck is this"
them: “he’s here!”
john: *taking his engraved silver money clip that has $50 in it* “yoU WANT IT GO GET IT” *throws and runs*
beccaaa a. You beat me to it! Touche` hahahahah
Now they've thrown him off his rhythm.
Nicholas Hogan I remember that lime I died😂
STREET SMARTS
beccaaa a. LOL 😂
"He's here tonight"
John: 0_0
James: and now I've thrown him off his rhythm
Yes
Oh god help me
I cant breathe
•.0 *he’s here*
I STRAIGHT UP SNORTED
i dead ass thought he made that man up with that name and mustache for comedic purposes so i'm surprised he is real lmao.
XXI He even has a wikipedia page
he has a book i think
john mulaney lives a life worth 1000nd lifes. i don‘t think any of his stories are fake tbh
the old guy who talked about ducks that John talked about in The Comeback Kid is real too. I looked him up and found pictures of him and he looked exactly as John described him.
Until I actually went to Netflix and watched the special, I just saw references to JJ Bittenbinder all over and I assumed it was some bit he did on SNL. Nope!
John looks like he's constantly trying to stop himself launching into the standup material after 150 shows
OMG that’s true😂
It's like that episode of The Simpsons where Krusty is unable to be serious on camera.
yess when he was describing Bittenbinder he looked like he was trying to make it different than the show
Comedians go onto talk shows specifically to plug their standup, which is why the hosts prompt them into the bit. They rehearse it beforehand too.
"He's here".
John: *shocked pikachu face*
Lol
I have never read anything more accurate than this
"My name is John Mulaney. And I'm the Fastest Man Alive."
Omg that's so true. He looks just like Grant Gustin
Only when Bittenbinder is present.
*Funniest
Glad I'm not the only person who thought that 😂😂😂
*Fastest tall child alive, FTFY
why do they look like a couple from the 1960’s
odibex Zooey definitely gives off Peggy vibes
they look like midge and joel maisel!
@@Lauren-hq8uf lord you're right
Angela Clevenger it’s because they are lmao
John would make a great Darrin on a remake of Bewitched.
"He's here tonight!"
*John is about to take his money clip throw it and run!*
Hill m Throw him off his rhythm!
Is your pfp Veronica?
“YOU WANT IT GO GET IT”
Throw him off his rhythm!
Is that Veronica
Look at that Tall Child
ugh// GET SOME REST TALL CHILD
You can't keep burning the candle at both ends!
yknow, he has some really feminine hips.
jom He is very sensitive about his feminine hips.
That's a proud Asian-American woman right there.
Okay but the sheer HORROR on John Mulaney’s face when James says J.J Bittenbinder is there
My mom couldn't stop laughing at the Street Smarts part because she was taught the exact same program when she was a kid!!!
CriticalGeminiHero Your here???? Why are you here??????? Of all things beside CR, this video???
Honestly, I posted this thinking I was on my personal account at the time XD
My lawn, etc.
My mom was crying laughing by the end of his billabong xxl T-shirt skit lmao
My God he is gorgeous
“He’s here tonight”
I could just hear John getting his Alka seltzer tablet ready
for that foaming at the mouth affect
@@swiishy_ that makes him look like he has rabies, now he's thrown him off his rhythm
@@chrysanna8896 I reach into his jacket pocket and pull out a gram of coke i planted there earlier
Mulaneys Jaw Drop when he said they brought bittenbinder to the show was beutiful
Nate Briggs I think his soul left his body
Bob Odenkirk has also mocked Bittenbinder, on Mr. Show.
*beautiful
Jackboot Shaman Gaming - Yes it was. However, JJ Bittenbinder also did several tours giving talks. Several of those tour stops were at elementary schools and the like. So it is entirely possible that he was at John's School a few times.
Jackboot Shaman Gaming Lorie Lynn’s comment in correct, but also, he was a Chicago PD Detective. He currently lives in the area too. Look up the article. It’s pretty funny
“And he’s here tonight!”
John: *drops to the ground and starts kicking upwards*
Unlike the Lindbergh baby, he's got his steel-toed boots
john's face when james says bittenbinder is there i M DEAD
ikr
where?
Acosmic 3:38
you take a man with anxiety and surprise-attack him with a man he made a joke about and never thought he'd have to talk to, ever, and he dies On The Spot
Truly, he looks like he's literally crapping his pants.
James: I love the street smarts routine
John: oh yeah thanTHERE WAS A DETECTIVE NAMED JJ BITTENBINDER
Two of the most old-timey young people on one couch. Their speech patterns and accents are straight from the 1880s.
Petreanna Aching omg YES that's the best way to describe them!
i love them both lol
Petreanna Aching What the hell are you talking about?
Maybe the 1950s 😂
Petreanna Aching that doesn’t even make sense
"The guy that sells balloons: don't go near that guy,"
"Alright..."
Idk why but this made me laugh really hard.
k a y l e e I could be wrong but I feel like he’s referring to John Wayne Gacy.
I think it's just a general reference to the old stereotype that those who sell balloons/candy/things that attract children are molesters/pedophiles/kidnappers. I remember being told not to get too close to this old street vendor who would give free candy to young kids when I was growing up. Just a few years ago, I took my brother to the park and someone told me to make sure to stay/keep my brother away from the balloon guy.
OMG I REMEMBER THAT ASSEMBLY NOW! Bittenbinder made me too afraid to let my on grandfather drive me home from school one day, because it wasn't planned (he just happened to be driving past the school at let-out time, and saw me walking home). Mind you, I saw my grandparents, my moms parents, weekly. They were my secondary caretakers... but "Grandpa might be trying this ONE TIME to kidnap me."
Throw a money clip at your grandfather and run _STREET SMARTS_
Statistically, I think it's said that more kids are endangered by people they know than by total strangers. So there's that. Not that I think your grandpa was up to something.
Jeff b....fuckin weirdo
He might try and take you to a secondary location
Judi W. That never gets old! Hahah
I went to St. Clements' and what doesn't get brought up is this guy would take the girls aside for a *special* class. He told us if someone tried to snatch us off the street, we should 1. pee or vomit on ourselves; 2. pretend to faint because criminals are too lazy to pick up a person and people would look at him weirdly if he was carrying a passed-out seventh-grader. He really was big on "throw them off their rhythm" and quite terrifying.
Laura Hewitt all of these are very good techniques. I'm sure vomiting on someone would throw them off their rhythm
But you know what, he’s not wrong. As an adult woman I have a number of ideas in my head for what to do if I get attacked. It’s unfortunate but that’s the way of the world. He might’ve been a little gentler about it but he wanted to be remembered if something bad did happen.
That’s actually really good advice. If someone ever tries to grab you try and go for the insides of their feet or their eyes. I’m not joking, rip out their fucking eyes if you need to. If you really can’t get away just try and vomit on yourself or piss/shit yourself it’s likely to make a kidnapper go away
*writes down techniques* uh-huh, uh-huh. Can you spell rhythm for me?
@@JuliaN-fi9zw another weak spot is the outside of the thighs!!!!
These three together are like the epitome of feel-good ness
Who’s the woman?
Zooey D
The look of pure panic on Mulaney's face when he was told the detective was there XD
All the things he learned came rushing back to him in that one moment
Detective Bittenbinder is from Buffalo and my parents said that is a SPOT on impersonation of him.
James: hes here tonight
John: throws money clip and runs off *STREET SMARTS*
Zooey & John not having a show together would be a crime against humanity. They're variety talk-show gold. A Carol Burnett Show format would be a hit with them.
OMG yes!
Yes. This.
Rly?! I thought Zooey was awk AF there
I’m the thousandth like
Omg yes!!!!!
john's laugh when she said street education 10/10
It was kinda pure ngl
“He’s here tonight.!”
“I gathered my things and shuffled away....feeling.. different”
James: We've actually tracked him down and he's here!
John: This might as well happen, adult life is already so goddamn weird
It’s interesting to watch Mulaney’s first special and compare to this one. Very cool to see the development of a stand up: not rushing through bits, embodying the persona, the increase in comfort and confidence on stage. He’s killin’ it.
All of these references become weird when I think about the fact that I went to school with JJ Bittenbinder's grandson.. who shares the same name (John Joseph)
I am in love with that whole idea lol
someone else in this comment section says that he's their boyfriend's grandpa - you guys might know each other!
James: we were like cats
Hollywood: WRITE THAT DOWN
NOOO
John is effortlessly funny
THATS WHAT IT IS
I would love to see something with both John and Zooey - feel like they'd have good chemistry.
Lifeisnot4sale Yes!!! I was just thinking the same thing
🙌🏻💯
he could visit the new girl apartment.
No. Never. She's a robot.
Both are married
“He’s here tonight!”
*John starts frantically searching around in his pocket to retrieve a packet of Alka Seltzer plus he keeps in there at all times*
he keeps the Alka Seltzer in a money clip
Detective J.J. Bittenbinder is my boyfriend’s grandpa 😂😂
kingofallcosmosever wait seriously?? I know anything is true on the internet but that would be the best thing
YO WHAT
we need a follow up here dude
WOOOAH
You can’t just drop that information like a money clip and run like that
James: “Here’s here tonight!”
John: nah nah sister you ain’t taking me to no secondary location
The look of pure feral fear in John's eyes when they said he was there lol
And it was at that moment that John realized he forgot his silver clip with a $50 dollar bill
3:41 AND NOW YOU’VE THROWN HIM OFF HIS RYTHEM
How would John know about the cowboy hats if he supposedly never wore them there?
You should be a detective!
Small town of 700.
@@maryfortin6295 John's from Chicago. James was the one from the town of 700 people.
Zooey is giving off “drunk but I’m really trying to listen” vibes, always laughing or reacting earlier than she should 😂
John is so likeable.
1:11 zooey's unsmiling laugh is so funny to me somehow
Thanks Redlettermedia for sending me down a J.J. Bittenbinder rabbit hole.
wow John Mulaney looks like an old Grand Gustin xD
Holly but like at the same time young grant gustin?
Holly my name is barry allen and i am....STREET SMARTS!
Don’t insult my boy John like that
Grant Gustin looks like an older John Mulaney
he actually got mistaken for grant one day and there's an interview somewhere about it hahaha
John Mulaney is so handsome.
J.J. Bittenbinder exists o.O I have a whole new respect for John
Valhalla of course he does! So does the salt and pepper diner (the old building at least).
iheartjared74 the building is gone now 😭 I went by where it was last week
AdaylnTheLifeOf oh no. I was literally driving aimlessly down Lincoln 3 days ago, didn't even think to look for it 😭
iheartjared74 they must have just torn it down recently. It took them a while I thought it was gonna be gone right after they closed for the park project thing
James: “he’s here tonight!”
John: *throws a money clip and runs in the other direction*
ZOOEY YOUR DRESS OMG SO GOOD
Thank you! I scrolled down just to see if anyone else appreciated that gorgeous dress as much as I did. Such understated refinement, I love it!
Is James Corden the only talk-show host, who doesn't sit behind his desk?
Graham Norton doesn't either, and his interviews are insanely awesome! I 10/10 recommend you check him out. A good segment to start with is anything with Mark Ruffalo, , Jonah Hill, Mark Hamill, James McAvoy, Chris Pratt... most of his interviews are wonderful actually
James Corden's talk show format is very similar to Graham Norton's (not behind a desk, multiple guests, flowing conversation etc) but Graham Norton did it first and does it better
He wants to be seen fully.
Andy Cohen doesn't.
Comedy Bang Bang
“Come back in 4 hours.” THEY WERE LIKE DOGS WITHOUT HORSES!!!
I went to JJ Bittenbinder presentations for adults in Chicago in the mid-90a. What he taught was very important, very good, and I know it has helped keep me safe for over 25 years. He had been a homicide detective and he said one day he got tired of investigating the homicides and decided to change his career focus to prevent them.
John Mulaney needs to be a voice actor too!!!
check out big mouth on netflix
he is!!!!! he's in this great show big mouth on netflix
Mitti oh right that is him I love that
He’s gonna be in the animated Spider-Man movie coming out.
TheShanicpower Yeah, he’s Spider-Ham.
At my elementary school in the 90's we had this EXCEPT it was called "Kids 2 Kids" and it was high schoolers telling this stuff to elementary schoolers
Oh, dear.
JeezUS dude I'm sure that was a great idea
Sounds cooler
My school tried to fake this when nudes were a problem by putting on the assembly Powerpoints *2 years above* doesn't think this is cool or respectful...
“We were like cats”
Me in 2020 still haunted by James in cats a movie i saw weeks ago: 😳😳😳
5:33 Loki is quaking
Finally watched Kid Gorgeous last night, and I was laughing so hard during the Bittenbinder bits, I nearly had to cut it off to save my own life so that I could stop and breathe.
" we were like cats."
well james is in the cats movie.....
Thats so true about the childhood in the 80s and 90s. We were going whereever we felt like and no one cared as long as we got back home for dinner
Absolutely. All of us on our bikes or walking through the creek behind the apartment buildings having stupid adventures... and then home for dinner time. Didn’t matter what we were doing. Rock fights? Fine. And then dinner.
And yet, they DID remind us that we were constantly under threat of kidnapping. (And I lived about 50 miles away from where Johnny Gosch disappeared from his paper route... so we KNEW it was true.) But I guess neighbors and daylight and friends made us invincible.
I’ve been to the rodeo multiple times that John Mulaney mentions in this video (in Cody ,Wyoming) and now I have to live with the uncertainty that I might have seen JJ Bittenbinder and I don’t remember
Damn, I wish Bittenbinder had actually been there.
mulaney: there’s no better word to say in a chicago accent than back pack
me at home: beckpeck
I’m from Chicago and now I’m trying to see if I say backpack like that 😂😂
John’s face at 3:40 is so CUTE
John Mulaney wants us to know he’s not Grant Gustin but he almost turned into Barry Allen real quick 😂
“We had a guy come and teach poetry. That’s a good skill to have too.” I expect nothing less from Zooey Deschanel.
JJ Bittenbinder went to my mom's school as well. #StreetSmarts
repent and turn to Christ before it’s too late
I love the way he says 'Bittenbinder' as many times as possible.
3:36 now you've thrown John off his rhythm
I remember seeing Bittenbinder on Oprah or something years ago. It always stuck with me when talked about never be allowed to be taken to a 2nd location if kidnapped
Right before James says “we’ve tracked him down” put the playback speed on the slowest mode and watch johns facial expressions 😂
I just saw the definition of fight or flight instincts 😂
Yeay John Mulaney is everywhere 💕💕
Hey dad, can I please have a silver money clip with a 50 dollar bill in it? Don’t worry, I’m only gonna chuck it into the sewer at the first sign of trouble. The man in the mustache told me to do it.
3:37 YOU WANT MY MONEY GO GET IT!! **throws Money clip**
Zooey saying "you know, like one does" to John made my whole year
That's one gorgeous couch.
Fun interview, good guests
"Would you rather go home without your backpack or your underwear?" I died.
John needs to get his own talk show because I’m pretty sure he is the new Johnny Carson.
3:41 Now John is off his rhythm.
I could see these three in a movie together. I'm thinking a 1930's-style screwball comedy.
John Mulaney stars as Ronnie Bittenbinder, a man from a long line of Chicago law men who gave it all up to make it as a performer in The Big Apple. He plays nightclubs with his girlfriend, aspiring actress Lana LaVine (Kristen Bell). When his grandfather, J. J. Bittenbinder, is murdered by notorious mob boss Shugs McCoy (James Corden), Ronnie's mother sends him his grandfather's ten gallon hat. Unbeknownst to Ronnie, his grandfather's hat is encrusted with six million dollars worth of diamonds that J. J. stole from Shugs. When Mousey Honeycutt (Zooey Deschanel), a crackerjack Chicago news reporter comes to warn Ronnie, she is trailed by Shugs and his moll Trixie (Emma Stone) who will stop at nothing to get back the stolen diamonds . . . even murder.
Ok but like I need this
HOLLYWOOD make it happen!!
you’re hired
John: gets shocked when he hears Bittenbinder is there
James: “now I’ve thrown him off his rhythm”
3:45 john mulaney fake running dear goodness
are people avoiding the fact that when she talked about going out at night she looked over at John and went,
"You know- like one does."
James: Bittenbinder is here!
John: **punches through tailgate and waves**
James: ...I think he’s turning left?
the word 'vulnerable' sound amazing in James accent
"What're you gonna do, butter him to death?"
"Ya!"
They look like siblings lmaoo
My two favorite people on a couch being their lovely selves
3:37 the look of shock lmao
HAHAHA JOHN MULANEY'S REACTION IS PRICELESS
i love how they are literally versions of each other
I actually almost wet my pants when James Corden called bittenbinder down
3:40 That is the face of a man who has just seen Jesus and came back to tell about it
4:37 “your gonna throw someone off” THROW EM OFF THEIR RYTHM