The trick that all confident people use to stay positive | Chapter 4 from The High 5 Habit (Part 5)
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- Опубликовано: 9 дек 2021
- ➡️ This is the trick that all confident and successful people use to stay positive…
1️⃣ CATCH the negative thought.
(it’s some version of I’m not enough).
2️⃣ BREAK the negative thought.
Try talking back to it - I usually say - “I’m not thinking about that.”
3️⃣ REPLACE the negative thought.
With whatever you want to think...or with what I, Mel Robbins would tell you to think.
By Catching, Breaking and Replacing the negative thought you will reprogram your mind.
You must follow these three steps.
If you just catch the negative thought - it’ll keep repeating.
If you only break it - it’ll come back bc it’s programmed into your mental circuitry.
You must REPLACE it - so that new thought over time becomes your new default.
In this video view - I also tie a confident and positive mind back to your core emotional needs.
☑️ to be seen,
☑️ to be heard,
☑️ to be accepted or celebrated for the unique individual you are.
When you don’t feel seen, heard or accepted, you end up feeling stuck, invisible and unfulfilled. When you take control of your mind by catching, breaking, and replacing those negative thoughts, you fulfill those needs for yourself.
All of this is from Chapter 4 in The High 5 Habit, which I’m reading in this video. We start on page 59 if you want to follow along. I also answer two questions:
➡️ 3 things to do if you feel misunderstood by your family
➡️ 4 ways to make your kids feel loved unconditionally but still be the parent.
And last but not least...here are the links that I mentioned…or just click the link in the bio!
1️⃣ Buy the High 5 Habit: www.high5habit.com/
2️⃣ High 5 Daily Journal: high5journal.com/
3️⃣ High 5 Challenge high5challenge.com/---
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I started high 5’ing myself in the mirror every morning, less than a week ago and my life is starting to transform. I am 54 and all I have ever wanted is to love myself! I have an 11 year old daughter and am so grateful that I can now be a healthy role model and break those generational patterns! Thank you for all you do Mel, I have so much gratitude to have you in my life!! xoxo
*"If people are doubting how far you can go, go so far that you can't hear them..."* If you are reading this, I hope you have an amazing day!
Hahahaha- love this🤣 so awesome you say so😊 exactly😘
Thank u
💯💯💯
Period!
Excellent. What other people think about you is useless bullshit. What you think about you is all that matters.
- I just want to let anyone who’s reading this, and going through a tough time know that it’s going to be okay. You’ll get through it! ✨
THIS IS SOoo SWEET😍🌏!!! BLESS YOUR GOLDEN HEART🙏🏽🙌🏽💖!!! and Same to Youu😘💌🌌🌻
Thank you.
But you won't make it through it if you don't take the steps to help yourself! Thank you Mel for giving us the tools and the way to do it!
❤❤❤❤
Thank you
My goodness, this is hitting me right in the core. I don't feel I'm seen, heard and appreciated, even disrespected for a long time now, since childhood really, by many in my life and whom I've come across through my life experiences. 🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽
You are not alone in this boat. Growing up with Narcissistic abuse, then repeating patterns has led me to feel this way as well. Until you look inward and learn to appreciate and love you for you they way other people act and react to you matters, but once you see, accept, love and validate yourself how other people respond or react to you, no longer matter so much, this leads to freedom and joy.
I totally so feel the same way as you.
Right
@@lori-annefay4138 Yes. I'm agree. Working on it. 🙏🏽
@@janetfreysanderson5731 Now, just working on myself, self love, self like, then that other external stuff doesn't even matter.
The amount of love I felt in my body just giving my self a high five and tell myself how proud of myself I was made me cry. My body reacted immediately and I never felt so loved in my life. At night time I told myself goodnight and that I was beautiful. But also that I was so proud of myself. I started crying. never in my life have I heard those words before bed. again my body reacted immediately. I’m going to keep practicing this. Incredible.
*“My goal is no longer to get more done, but rather to have less to do.” - Francine Jay*
Beautiful
Don Aslett would applaud this all the way, his books are a riot but he is spot on.
That's me!
Me too, I tend to overload myself with tasks because I feel responsible for everything. I need to let go and focus on me for once in my life.
This is beautiful. You are a miracle. You beat the odds of over 1 in a many many many millions to be here. I see you, I hear you, I celebrate you. Sending you so much love ❤️
I've started the high five challenge and noticed a change in my self talk. In that moment, I believe in myself a little more and life gets a little lighter.
Thank you Mel,my Psychologist told me about you, so I am grateful, as I am going through difficult times, I listen and try to do what you say, going through depression,stress and much more. I am grateful for being alive and what I do have, everyone needs to be loved, needed, wanted that is important. 🙏♥️
When I was learning Maslow in nursing studies, I wondered how to use this information toward myself. I felt like if I could live the nursing lessons, i could 'promote' others to health care themselves, be their own nurse.
I can't believe you have all of this understanding in one tiny book! xo
I lost my Mom earlier this year. I miss her tremendously. Be thankful you still have her. And thank you for your time.
Me too a few years it's so difficult God bless you I'm sorry about your mama not being here with us
I lost my mum in 2020. I still miss her everyday!
You're not enough. I got it right in the past. The people who dis you are not insightful people so let it be known that doesn't define you. You're better than that. They just can't see you. Youre great!
Just found you... I'm 8mo into finding love for ME... Dropping a 30 yr drug addiction... Loving your knowledge...thankful 🙏 🙌 ✨ ... GRATEFUL 🙏 LOVE THIS...
I love this message! I am living and breathing and fighting everyday to apply these concepts so that I don’t loose my purpose!!! Thank you for writing the book! Thank you for talking about our basic simple yet so powerful needs! It starts with the man in the mirror!!!! And the power of loving yourself gets you back to your core values and helps you change your habits and then you improve a little every day. I need this on a daily basis for the lowest of the lows and celebrate the fact that I found your message and your guidance and your love! Thank you, thank you, thank you!
Thank you Mel. I have been binging your RUclips channel this past week and WOW. I've always been a fan but woman, you amaze me. And provide so much value on this channel. I am always looking to grow and evolve and sometimes I find myself obsessing over negative things. This video is a beautiful reminder of how to be happier! Xoxo 😘
8:10 oh my word, light bulb moment! I have never understood the times when I feel disconnected or why no matter how much work I have done on myself. This was a huge lightbulb and like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders! Thank you 💟
Love your messages ! I also have learned that a sense of humor is vital as well as great faith can get you through much in this life!
Thank you, my dear. It's Christmas Eve morning and I'm laying in bed planning out my baking tasks for tomorrow's brunch with my daughter, the only family I interact with anymore because of the abusive gaslighting my sister who's favorite motto is "" Suck it up, buttercup " when she would openly disrespect my feelings. She's pretty much invalidates me to the rest of the family to the point where I'm not even included to anything she participates in. It's been a long journey building a new life for myself and I think this " High Five will be the icing on the cake. Thank you.
WOW. FANTASTIC. You just summarized what took me 9 years of therapy to learn. 👏👏👏👏✨👌 Thank you. HANDS DOWN, the only advice I need in life.
DETECTING PATTERNS in how speak to ourselves is KEY to transition away from past limiting patterns. WE need to become aware of the specific phrases that continue to give us an un-easy gut reaction. This was crucial in my early days of addiction recovery, and helps those I guide, in all circumstances of limiting behavior.
TIP: 1. Make an inventory of these limiting statements.
2. Make it mandatory to combat this with WORDS TO YOURSELF that are accurate and kind.
3. Create and recite an affirmation each morning, specific to you, detailing you deserve happiness.
4. Take an action towards your goal.
BEST PRACTICES and WISHES to us ALL!
Set an alarm 3x a week to call a person. That's brilliant. Thank you
Yes. Love the high five habit! Imagine a life where I am seen, appreciated & truly valued.
AMAZING! Mel Robbins you are totally a miracle in our lives! I am from Brazil and LOVE your material as history of life! Thanks a lot for inspiring us! We are miracle! 🌻
Mel Robbins you are absolutely amazing! I have learned to love myself, accept myself and understand myself better because of you 🙏🙏 I really loved your parenting tips too because being the best mother to my boys is the most important thing to me ❤️ Thank you for your inspiring words ❤️
WOW! How true, Mel, now I understand where I need to correct myself as a parent and a friend to myself and others. Outstanding!! Well done, Mel. Take care of yourself, too!
Love this book so much. And there is actual well researched neuroscience backing these life changing concepts.
Thank you Mel Robbins for all you do :)
GENERATIONAL PATTERNS are a persons key problems. Thanks for helping US break these patterns
I have a similar relationship with my Mum, but her dementia and recent lung cancer diagnosis has started to push all of that aside. Thank you for making me understand her and myself better, I appreciate your willingness to share your story.
May God continue to bless you Mel. Thank you for using your gifts and lifting people up. 🌸🌺😊💕🥰
This is huge. I need to digest a little daily. It is all so important in my life today. Thank you so very much for your guidance...I have lot's of self love to learn...I listen to you every morning.
When Mel listed examples of how we tell ourselves we're not enough, it made me uncomfortable. Those thoughts of doom got to me, so I had to skip ahead. Luckily I don't do negative self talks like I did when I was young, but it's stressful just hearing it. I've used the strategy to snip useless thoughts and redirect w positivity and acceptance, but advice from someone like Mel makes it more powerful. Someone with authority validates these methods work. I've been super motivated implementing them. Love it. Love Mel.
My family never approves of me.....I let them all go. I am an adult & I don't need their approval. I hope they are all living their best life.
Love you, Mel. May God bless your family.
I love the clear explanation about why high five-ing yourself every day can make a positive impact on your life. I'm going to start doing this.I need to believe in- and love myself more. Thanks!
I litterly had tears in my eyes when u started talking about how unique and a miracle everyone is...
You see yourself to stop negative thoughts. You were born perfect.
Thank you Mel. I'm going to take your teaching on everything you said, and, specifically, I am going to reach out to my long estranged sister to have lunch.
As for my adult live-in daughter, I will practice listening and stop giving advice unless she asks for it. And, when it seems like she wants advice I will ask if she only wants me to listen or listen and give advice. She has even complained that I don't listen well enough, so this is it. My New Year's resolution for 2022. I'm going to listen, not just to her, but to everybody more. And practice no interrupting.
Thank you Mel. I love your video’s and podcasts now. My invalidating words to myself are ‘Always drama with me, nothing goes well, other people know what they’re doing, not like me’
Thank you again for teaching self love 💕
Thank you this is life changing for me I am so looking forward to moving forward and stopping the cycle. My family is very important to me. God Bless you think you for sharing this valuable information.
My core emotional needs are to be understood/heard, loved & accepted. Im so happy to hear this from you, Mel. Thank you for keeping me on the right path in life.
I just discovered Mel Robbins last night on a random podcast that popped up. Where have you been all my life!? I had a Divine Intervention moment for sure. So this morning I did the High Five in the mirror and it did feel weird and I giggled at the silliness, but I believe in the science behind it and what you say makes soooooo much sense to me. I have used the 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 approach at least 4 times today. What's funny is two days ago I heard the quote from Shawshank Redemption in another movie that I will paraphrase, "you can get busy dying or you can get busy living". I decided that will be my motto for 2022 with the added phrase that "I am getting busy with living!". Then I stumble across you talking on that podcast and it was what I needed to hear. I have had some success this past year and expanded my event planning business and set up new events and worked with new venues and really pushed myself out of my comfort zone so I am proud of that accomplishment, but I suffer from self doubt and never feeling I am good enough. I always think "I should have done this or that, or I should have done more..." I want to break that habit and THANK YOU for giving me the tools to start changing my life! I could write so much more and want to comment on family relationships, but I will stop for now. I am just so excited I found you! I am watching your videos as I wrap Christmas presents after midnight on Christmas Eve which is a pattern I will NOT be repeating next year!
You are so authentic Mel, I appreciate you sister! "The horseshit you tell yourself" this line sold me lol
The High Five Habit changed me around. Just when I think she couldn’t repeat the success of the 5 second rule, Mel puts her heart & soul into another nuclear truth bomb 💣 😁 I am SO grateful for this book. The painting 🖼 chapter. Get your Kleenex out.
I was going to comment "bingo!" Immediately but then I thought "hold on" and keep listening. Sooooo I did. Glad I didn't text immediately. There's SO MUCH "bingo", 🎯 bull's-eye and "spot on" not to forgot "true dat!". WONDERFUL especially about giving to those relatives (or whatever relationship you desire to see improve) the needs you do not get from them. We all need and must see they (human) need.
So simple and so quick for us to forget this! Awesome!
All you gotta do to love some one or someone to love you is to love yourself first. Saying hurtful things and putting yourself down doesn’t make you feel better, doesn’t it. You are going to be okay. Don’t hate people, even if they hate you or are mean to you. Be kind to everyone. Everyone deserves an amazing life. You are beautiful, kind, smart and an amazing person. Have an amazing day! ❤❤❤
Mel you have changed my life I used to love going to the gym and last match 2021 has a massive breakdown felt stuck in my mind started to avoid stuf i really was stuck in my head I kept finding that happiness where has it gone the feeling of being anxious all the time but I came up with the 54321 method and watched your motivation video today it is my second day at the gym pushing my self to find myself again thank you soooo much you are a miracle
I have attempted to meditate many times in my life and prior to this CD the only success I've experienced is with live guided meditation. ruclips.net/user/postUgkxzpa8CIfZcihW4Z0F_ja0QF3W9KIatrsq This is the first CD I've used that cuts through my unmedicated ADHD and enables me to truly relax and experience a quiet and energizing interval. The instructors voice is very soothing and pleasant to listen to. I am easily able to sit successfully through the entire CD, and for quite some time after. I cannot adequately express how tremendously helpful this CD has been on my spiritual journey!! Two thumbs up and 10 stars!
Thanks soooo much for this message! I will definitely use your methods for dealing with my Adult children. I’m always trying to fix their problems especially when I see a situation or person is not good at all for them.
Thanks Mel! Your wisdom, knowledge and heart felt words are so educational, healing and wise. Thank you for sharing and doing it your own special way!
You are so right Mel Robbins. I need to change the way I feel about myself. Wow did this hit me so much. I needed to be heard, seen and be disrespected.
Thank you so much. This video really added value to my life. It was cosmic because it popped up in the midst of me feeling down and depressed. I really appreciate it. Loved this video. 🥰
My setback selftalk is "I'm not smart enough to do that"
Has the High 5 Habit been helping you overcome that erroneous self-talk?
@@AccelerateYourSuccess yes it has!
Thanks Mel for the pep talk needed this! I really do need to get your book! Have a happy and safe holiday everyone. Hope the new year brings you joy, peace and love.
You are a living miracle. Celebrate the amazing person you are. ❤
She wrote the book and then reads it out loud to people for free, successful and generous, it is s model for good change.
8:20 "understanding these needs is the key access point to change how you experience life."
"To be seen, heard, celebrated, accepted for the unique individual you are"
To experience love, safety, security.
All of this eluded me much of my life.
. I am ever indebted to the kindness and integrity of people in my life that provided the safe place to get these needs met until I found it in myself.( still a work in progress...)
Thank you Tammy for sharing this piece!
I have done anything and everything for certain people and they've taken advantage of it and reciprocated nothing but laughed at me instead. I don't see that dynamic changing if I keep giving to them. I just feel depleted, disrespected and like a doormat.
@@Jasmine_Klein thank you. I will do. X
Mel is the greatest she comes through to your consciousness and rises you up to the task ahead
You've NO IDEA.....how your spoken words,,,,,
Are ILLUMINATING our future with such healing 😘😘😘😘
Thanks Mel …. Words of wisdom indeed. May everything you’ve ever dreamed of work out for you all. My thought that makes me spiral is you’re just yourself … I know deep down I’m not but during Christmas and holiday seasons everyone has someone special ( well I think that !?) and I feel I’m hanging on as an extra …. Daft isn’t it. I think Christmas season is hard, it reminds us of those not with us anymore. Stay strong folks xx🥰🎅🏻👍🏼🎄
Love you and what you do. Thank you , I’m lucky , we all are lucky , to have the opportunity to be able to learn from you 😊🙏🏻
Thank you for the amazing information Mel. I was listing to this with my daughter. This will make a big impact in her life too. Can't wait to pick up your book.
Mel Robbins your an angel thank you for this 🙏🔥❤
Adding the high 5 together with I love you in the mirror, make myself smiling at the 1st time in the morning.
But during the day the......... thoughts kinda still there .
Actually my mind never stop talking, never. But I start to have real visions in my meditation 🧘♀️.
Love&blessings to your souls &every living soul on this planet.
I love Maslow's work. Hierarchy of needs. Self actualization is our God given right. We have a soul purpose and we all have different gifts to express. No one is superior to anyone. We deserve fulfillment. I like what Napoleon Hill said: " What we think and believe we can achieve." HIGH FIVE! 👋 Meditation is so good because we quiet all the noise and get to hear our true inner voice about what we authentically want and need; deserve. Soul purpose.
☆Mel: You do great work. Thank you. ☘️
I believe we all need to reduce our cell phone addiction by a huge percentage of hours in the day.
Phenomenal. I just had a breakthrough. Thanks Mel🎉 I’ve added the High 5 Habit to my morning routine. These tools are a true gift
This was just amazing and well needed. Thank you Mel!
🌹Thank you so very much Mrs Robbins!!!! I'm so appreciative of your work !!!🌹
The world needs you ❤
I'm so happy that I have found your videos and I'm new to your informative site. I am staying and look forward to educating myself with the information you have shared 😊
Thank you !!!! 🌹
To be heard, to be accepted as I am to be hugged
My low thought..I am not loving enough (o am not confident enough to be in the world as me)
!You speak in a way that makes sense to me. About coming home to yourself, yes !
This lady may have saved my life!!!! ♥️♥️♥️
My beloved husband of 33 years happy marriage passed away 2 years ago. Since then, in a new town, I have been lost. Ive found it difficult to fit in. Now, I realise I dont have to fit in with people whose interests are different to mine. Now, I am finding myself. I plan to take up my stalled creative writing. I aim to be published in 2022. I am finding my voice. I will shine my light. I have struggled, endured, overcome cancer, dealt with loneliness and bereavement, all in the past 3 years, during lockdown. I am a survivor! 💚💙💜🙏🙏🙏
OMG it's like he wrote this section just for me wow thank you so much this is just life-changing for me I don't know how to thank you enough
The intro has me in tears ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ buying the book!
The thought that cycles through my head is “I’m not enough.”
Take out a piece of notebook paper and write over and over again “I am enough” or “I am enough for everything I want” until the whole paper is filled! Do that every day for a week. The truth is, you have to rewrite the narrative of your subconscious with repetition. You are a devine being created in the image of God! You can literally do anything! Give it a shot! Good luck and merry Christmas!
@@soundsforrestandrelaxation9412 thank you! I will do this! And yes. God created me in His image. So when I say I’m not enough, I’m saying HE is not enough!
I KNOW He is…in my head. Repetition of writing “I am enough” will help me know it in my soul. Thank you for taking time to reply.
God bless you and Merry Christmas to you too!🎄❤️🎄
@@littlegirl3263 God Bless you on your journey. This just shows how we're all bonded in the journey of breaking free of the poison mindset. Move on from the past and start working towards what God wants for and from us. 🙏🏼💓
@@evolu5144 True. Let go and let God!💕
Me too! I have Inattentive ADD, depression. and anxiety.
Best foot forward!!! Happy & blessed!!! I am enough- valued & loved!!! Amen. Love is unconditional always!!!
Thank you for great advice! Your help and support are invaluable!
A transfer of action....its a real way to make your foundation strong & to build on it.
Thank you Mel, you are amazing. I have to say that positive thinking is essential when we want to change sth in our life, even we don't see a light in the tunnel. We have to accept situation and simply move forward until we see the light in the tunnel. I appreciate what you do for others. 😄
For me I always feel like I annoy people especially my parents because I like to talk to others and I'm passionate about a lot of stuff and I can get easily excited. Thing is, I love that about myself I just wish others did too :/
Same.
I’m the same way. Some of my family does this too but I just learned that I’m the person that gets Happy moving in the family.
Shame on them.
You’re golden
✨❤️✨ Thank you Mel! Love this chapter ! So appreciate you , your love and widsom! Xoxo 🤗✨
Mine was Im unlucky in Love, I always have to work sooo hard for everything. That’s another one. I can’t get ahead. Another one. Oh I gave myself cancer - another one. I love your work Mel thank u.. the high five habit has helped me shift my reality ..
You are so straight forward is easy to understand.thank you 👍🌹
Thank you so much for these words. They are life saving for real.
I just found your channel! This totally hits the spot! I do gratitude practice daily. 3 thing written down! I also journal how amazing I am ! lol now I will add the hi 5 to remind myself through the day!!! It changes the energy I exude! Really brilliant!
Ok Mel, so I don't do a high five but I look in the mirror (right out of bed), smile and say "you are so beautiful" or "you got this", something to that nature. Sometimes I simply smile and say good morning ☺️. This change in thought is mind-blowing 🤯. I love it!! Self discovery is amazing 😍
I needed to hear all of this today! Thank you Mel!! 🙂
Thanks trying to building me up but still don't feel like it thank you for your time and I love your wisdom
Thanks Mel for always delivering quality content 🙏❤️
Mel, Thank you so much for always providing such amazing ways to build yourself(and others)up! Happy Holidays! I hope 2022 will be an incredible year for all!!🙂
Mell… i wish you a beautiful merry Christmas 🎄 and a wonderful new year!!. Thank you for share your experiences… you bring light darling. Stay blessed
Im not successful enough, im not worth being loved…. This one i think my dad contributed to this. This no one would guess of me. This is giving the space to look back at the damage that was done that I have ignored. Powerful
I love you Mel!! I watch you on Lewis Howes, and your show ( when it was going), and you are inspiring!!
Thank you!!!
I am mostly positive when I am not around my family or close persons. Am I around the wrong people? I added high fiving in my morning routine and it feels nice. But now I see how many people doesnt high five me.
I thought this too three years back and been writing about it ever since!
*To all the dreamers out there, don't ever let the world's negativity disenchant you or your spirit. If you surround yourself with love and right people, ANYTHING is possible...*
You so true I like your style keep up the great work
Thank you, Mel. Great sharing. Appreciate!
I m so in love with myself!!!!!!!!!!!!! And my dog