Did you enjoy this episode? I know I did! If so, please drop a like and comment below what you are going to do to bring more energy and positivity into your life!
I don't think you actually hate these negative people. I think you hate the negative behaviour and how it makes us feel. I can totally relate! Just last week at my retail job, my store manager, who has had a rough 2023, and I feel so deeply for this person and what they've been through last year, BUT long story short she straight up lied to the owner of the business and used me as a shield to cover her own ass! Yes, most people would say well that's life and that's just how it is but, is it? Why didn't she just own it and tell the truth? I did exactly what I was supposed to do in that situation and my managers dropped the ball, but I took the hit, and they knew I had done my job and did everything I could do but when the owner is there confronting the customer service situation, she did not tell the truth and say yes she did inform me of x y and z but I just didn't care enough at the time to take care of it like I should've. I was furious at her for a whole week, lost sleep, couldn't eat, on and on. Betrayal is a MF and it HURTS! I'm open to good advice! Thanks in advance. Now back to the video!
Well said! I am just recently learning that. It has taken me too long and I've worked too hard at gaining peace and positivity, and I refuse to let ANYONE take that from me!
Yes...I had that during the week. Had to block my sister from toxicity and twisting facts. So no more calls. She so needs to behave. Yikes.She is my sister.
I wish I could have seen this podcast two to three months ago when I was dealing with this in my job. No matter how I was treated, I was determined not to engage or return their hurtful volleys. I just kept repeating my mantra: " I can't afford this. I'm trying to accomplish something!" So I avoided making it worse. I know this is not easy for most people. It wasn't easy for me, I really wanted to throw their crap back in their face, but I didn't. I just focused on my job. And I finally stepped aside on my own terms. No one needs to work any job under threats, belittling, minimizing and disrespect. Don't ever give your power away to anyone. Choose not to engage. These people don't want to hear you defending yourself. It doesn't help. Just do your job and get out of there. And find a team and a supervisor who respect you. This message for everyone out there, who does a good job and takes pride in it. You've got nothing to be ashamed of. Don't ever make yourself feel small because of someone else's insecurities. And thank you Mel. We need more strong women like you, who are not afraid to tell it like it is. 👍🤓
Protecting your energy is vital . I use meditations and boundary setting to ensure I lead a happy and fulfilled life. Spending time in nature helps too
Thank you, Mel. I am an extremely empathetic and reactive person and I’m aware I need to protect myself from other people’s trauma/drama/negativity because it decimates me if I don’t protect myself. I’m coming off of 2 1/2 weeks of yet again curling up in a ball to hide from life because I was depleted by other people.The snow globe image is genius and I will absolutely be utilizing it. I am aware of the power of the breath routine and I need to implement it consistently. My health was dramatically affected yet again in the past two weeks and I need to take care of myself. Thank you thank you and have a fantastic Monday!
Thank you Mal your magnificent and I appreciate all your solutions. I will implement them in my day to day social interactions as it so well needed. May God bless all that you do in improving the lives of so many. Thank you and beyond!
This episode could not have come at a better time for me. I am very similar to Claudia from the "difficult conversations" episode. Because of my childhood family culture, I have spent my life avoiding confrontations at all costs. But I realized that I was not protecting my peace, nor was I treating myself with any respect and love. But then I heard these two episodes, which helped me tremendously. Fast forward to this morning. I teach a fitness class for seniors. I love it, and I'm good at it. I can confidently say this, because I see the joy on my participants' faces and regularly hear how much they enjoy my class. But this morning I got an earful from one cranky old lady who complained about the dumbest things. Now granted, I welcome criticism. But this was petty. Three petty things. But more than that, she came at me in a very rude and disrespectful manner. The old me would have allowed this to suck the life out of me and question myself. But today I simply saw a spoiled child having a tantrum in a snow globe. Her toxicity stayed right in her little globe. I politely addressed her concerns, but then told her that we cannot accommodate everyone's preferences, so if she is not happy in my class, she is more than welcome to find another class that suits her needs. She huffed away, and I stood tall, with my peace and confidence in tact. I have never, ever stood up for myself like this in my entire life. It felt amazing. Thank you, Mel.
Sad. Teacher could and should have,shown dance ways to relax and destress... perfect opportunity to heal a client, instead...you feel only smiling happy people deserve to be in the class. Really sad. This is what I am moving far away from.youre PAID to HELP people, who are stressed, but you don't know how. Publicly making her leave, was what you chose? God, I wish I could comfort her. She's in pain, obviously. Physically. High blood pressure, cholesterol... diabetes,heart issues...she complains because she is in pain. I was a caregiver. She could have been shown how to hold her breath, cleanse toxicity, anything about dance?!?!
@@HeatherNoeL-jd6fc It is clear you are a very caring and compassionate person. Please don’t assume I am not. This woman’s complaints were voiced to me publicly and disrespectfully, and could have poisoned the class had I not addressed them properly, especially because they included attacks on other participants, whose crime is that “they’re annoying”because they’re so cheerful. Obviously that’s a clear symptom of depression, which as you say, is sad. I agree. Regardless, that behavior is unacceptable in my class. So it had to be addressed. And since it was not the first incident, it had to be addressed clearly and firmly. However, I ALSO care about this woman and have PRIVATELY talked with her and gotten to the core of what’s bothering her. And as you can probably guess, it has nothing to do with me or my class. I am sure to give her individualized attention every class, letting her know I care and asking her how her situation is going. Since this incident, she has not complained once and has told management how much she appreciates me. Heather, it’s important to understand that you can set clear boundaries, not allowing toxic behavior toward you or others, while still being a kind person and showing compassion toward those who may lash out because they are hurting. This was such a groundbreaking turning point for me because historically I have let people walk all over me, which is actually very unkind and cowardly. So please don’t judge my personal victory.
Love the snow globe story and more so the policy on not talking about people unless they are present. Boy oh boy this is going to be easy...NOT! Lol! maybe it is going to be easier to take up the challenge and change now, as no one wants to be labeled as ‘Gossipers’. Love you Mel. You the Bomb! ❤
Good strategies! I avoid chronically negative people. Even on-line, some comment feeds get toxic! Sometimes I throw out something positive but anymore I just leave. Thx!
I am struggling at work with some grownup bullies to the extent that I spend my days off paralyzed with depression & just stay in bed pretty much ,, finding you on utube today couldn’t have come at a better time ,, you always seem to have the answers! Love you !Thankyou!
I wish you the best. Depression and low self esteem from other's bullying and put downs is so hard to deal with!! 😢😢 I get it I've been there. A lot. Remember that you are worthy and you matter just as much as any other person on earth. 😊❤❤👍
I just started watching your videos and podcasts and all I can say is, I am so grateful for you and the positive energy along with great wit, you share with your followers. I am 80 years old and have spent the majority of my life working on myself through seminars, therapy, retreats and now,in the comfort of my home, I get to see a wonderful soul called “Mel.” Thank you for the love and light to bring to all. ❤️
Hello Mel! Thanks for addressing the serious and terrible issue of gossip. So many people’s lives revolve around this pettiness. Gossiping adults act like grade school bullys who refuse to grow up. They’re teaching their children that this is acceptable behavior, and it’s never ending. Let’s all do better!
I’ve been a front desk agent in New York City and the nightmarish entitled things that people slammed workers like myself with were incredible. I know exactly who this woman is. I appreciate this video!
I will forever remember an illustration about goseping that samewone,once sad. He sad goseping is so damaging to the image of the person you goseping about, like a drop of poison in a clean glass of water, and he continued.. Imagine a pillow that's crushed and all the flaf from inside the pillow starts to flow and disparse everywhere, that message like (gossiping) flys and rich to many and you can't never collect that back. I look forward to see the sacretness in every person I met and complimente instead.❤
What an episode! A lightbulb moment for me, I can’t wait to use these strategies, negativity has just exhausted me for too long. I am 52 years old and feel like this is going to be a new beginning for me. Love you Mel! ❤
So much to unpack. Isn’t this how we all want to be in the world? 😅 Thank you for reminding us to be this way with our families as well. We tend to take each other for granted. A side note: my father was the person who would scream and yell at service people and wait staff, until he got his way. Unfortunately, it always worked out for him. During his last days on this earth, he spent much of his time yelling and screaming at the nurses and hospice people that were trying to help him. However, my mother (my parents have been divorced for years) has always been kind to everyone, and wherever she goes in her town, everyone is excited to see her and will literally run up to her with huge smiles on their faces. Could there be any better real life illustration of how to treat people?
Growing up with abusive parents has made me hyper aware of others moods, it’s hard not to try to appease the rude person to prevent further escalation. I get the snow globe thing, but it’s hard to ignore the tantrum.
Oh and it feels good to be kind , thoughtful , complementary, and present with people! When I falll into a pattern of gossiping I feel awful…. And you hurt yourself and make yourself look bad. Not the person your gossiping about….
The snow globe is a good analogy and it’s funny to me because I actually use that kind of visual in reverse, meaning that before I go into a meeting or get together with someone whose energy is negative or chaotic I do closed eye deep breathing and visualize a glass bubble that entirely surrounds me, protecting me from others energy. I imagine that my force field/snow globe is impenetrable. It really helps! I’ve recently fallen into some negative and fearful thought patterns but I caught myself today and I’m back to focusing on the positive and bringing my vibration back up. I appreciate your input and advice, you’re brilliant!
Thank you Mel. I’m the person who is next in line behind the crazy. I try to smile and complement the poor person who was just yelled at! Bonus.. I am loud enough so if the person that yelled is within ear shot… I know it won’t change them but I get a kick out of it😊
Thank you for this, Mel! I need to be reminded about these principles every now and again. You always seem to come with the right thing at the right time. Big hugs!
Some lovely nuggets in here... th snow globe, the not talking about people who aren't in the room rule, the just being nice to everyone and knowing what an effect it can have Thank you
I share my smile even though the person isn’t smiling. They smile back at me. I know, when someone is rude with me, I say to myself, I didn’t do anything to that person, it’s not me, it’s what going on in their life. It protects me.
You are amazing, Mel!!! This podcast found its way to me today because of the stresses at work and how I have been sick the last few days. It's from absorbing all the negatively happening at work, and I work on the front desk and love my job!!!! Our manager is a beautiful soul but too much is falling through the cracks. This podcast has actually bought me around and I will be skipping on the gossip and mean things being said in my prescence!!! Thank you for being my light today!!!!🎉✨️✨️✨️✨️✨️❤️❤️❤️
Thank you Mel. As a young hotel receptionist, i went to this situation lots of times by now. I wish that people know the amount of effort that hotel staff put in to accommodate the guests at the best of our abilities. Sometimes, things happen. But please, be patient because you don t have any idea what staff went through during the day. 🙏🏽
I think it’s important to remember that we can all be “emotional vampires”. In the instance of the hotel clerk, that sounded like abuse. In the case of abuse, I believe we have moral duty to take a stand for some one who is being abused. You can take care of yourself, use breathing techniques, etc. and respond to an abusive tactic with that same calm energy. It takes a lot of practice and a lot of intention. I believe it’s important for us as a society to stand up for one another. I had an MRI yesterday and I used the 4-7-8 technique and it worked like a charm! Thank you, Mel.
I had a curmudgeon boss who seemed to enjoy being mean, not just with me. One Saturday when no one was at the office, just me catching up on filing, I went into his office and saw a birthday card on his desk, signed Mom. Suddenly I felt a little more empathetic toward him. My own mother oozed love 💕 in her cards to me. She always told me what a wonderful daughter I was, how much I meant to her, etc. His mother didn't even sign it Love, Mom
Omg! Mel I LOVE LOVE your podcast, I started following you a 2 months ago and I already feel different lighter, happier, full of motivation, energy, positivity and full of hope, I need u in my life long time ago, THANKS MEL, YOU ROCK❤❤❤
I’m a janitor and have been having a hard time at work with a specific person always making comments and treating me like I’m secondary to my more outgoing coworker. I’m working alone this week and it’s been especially hard and making me feel depressed but this podcast helped. Thank you!
This was God send Sitting in my car at 5:15 am In the hospital parking trying to ground myself and this vid comes on. The wife anxiety for a surgery has been trying to castigate me for 3 days. I’ve not lost my shit but this vid gave me loads of strength Thank you. 🙏
I have a coworker who is very negative and difficult. Every day I have to deal with this person and it's sometimes soul crushing. This morning I tried your advice: smile a big, toothy smile at them to make the good vibes contagious. At first, they took offense and told me they didn't appreciate the sarcasm. I just nodded and walked away. So far, they've been in a better mood since 😅 . Seems to have worked. Thank you!
Mel, I’m new to you and absolutely love your energy and advise. I used to work at a very high class Salon and performed massage and facials. I would ask the other therapists how to get of the negative energy. I became very sick and couldn’t do my job anymore due to this issue. Now I know how to implement this. Also, when I get upset I‘ll pretend I’m in the snow globe til i get it out!
Mel, I needed to take some time off this week to remove myself from some negative people and situations, as well as try and figure out who I really am as a person. After listening to this podcast, one thing is for certain: I want/need to find the nice and positive part of myself and bring her back to the center. Thank you, Mel!
This episode was so great ..like all of them ..I work in a Costco and the customer ( members) are so rude and entitled thank you soo much ..keep being you and doing what you do
I really appreciated this podcast from you today Mel. It resonates with changes I'm making in my own life and needed to hear. It's great to know I'm not alone on this. Thank You.
It’s really hard for me to set boundaries with my mother in particular. I would like to see my family during the holidays as I spent Thanksgiving alone and I don’t think it’s good for me to isolate just because my mother is so hard to be around. But all of the gatherings are at her house. She has. A sharp tongue that can cut like a knife. She doesn’t treat my sister this way, but I feel like that is because my sister is married with kids. So she tries to be on her best behavior in front of my sister‘s family. But she is so mean to me.
This talk has really helped me realise how much ownership I take for others discomfort! As though it is my responsibility….when it’s theirs to manage. Beyond empathy. Taking it all on. This talk would be good coupled with getting better at boundaries.
I remember the moment I decided to stop gossiping and IMMEDIATELY I felt so much lighter. Just from that decision. And yes 100% if they do it with you they’ll do it to you
This morning i got up feeling average left my house and took a drive to get a coffee Purchased a motoneuron disease beanie (its a donation to the research more so) and gave it to a very faired hair young man on the way out the shop I was in) it made me feel so good sharing kindness he was beside himself its crazy cold in Wangaratta Victoria Australia so thank you Mel for all that you have shared with your audience- speaking for myself I listen to you daily and let me tell you your fruitful casts are life transforming and rewarding to say the least- THANK YOU SO MUCH YOU ARE ONE OF MY FAVOURITE HUMAN IN THE ENTIRE WORLD! Much Love god bless you and your kind spirit ❤ ❤❤❤❤🎉
I recently had to cut ties with a friend because of the habit of and apparent joy she felt when gossiping. Gossip is toxic! I love your rule of not discussing any one not in the same room. Thank you for all your guidance. The reciprocity you mentioned is powerful. One of my favorites is, “What a beautiful smile you have. “. This is not offensive and is appropriate for all ages and genders. Keep up your marvelous work. We need your kindness and positivity ❤️
I've been watching Mel's videos every chance I get this morning, and after watching this, I don't have to worry about angry coworkers anymore! I feel like I have "coworker protection" thanks to Mel Robbins.
I just have to say that I adore you Mel! You put out some of the most helpful content for someone like me. I'm the person who struggles all my life with taking on other people's negative energy. I literally get emotional and I literally lose sleep over every day negative encounters. There are some really intriguing techniques you have suggested and I can't wait to try them out asap. THANK YOU for caring and for giving back. 💗
Thank you Mel! You are so inspiring and I love how you present the whole concept of making changes! I love the 4,5 8…. I love the cheering on of your colleagues, the excited to see you and how was your day when they get home. And the gossip….. so simple! Just don’t talk about anyone if they’re not present…. I love telling my friends how much I appreciate them and love them. It keeps such a special bond between us! You are appreciated in all you do with your empowering videos and positive energy! You are new to me when I’m looking motivational messages. So happyI found you! Thank you! ❤️☀️🌴☮️
Mel, I no longer wait until last minute to get on the plane after I was kicked out of my first class seat on a anniversary trip bc they overbooked. Now I'm the first person in line. Live & learn.
So very grateful to have found you, Mel, because I honestly do not feel as alone as I have been this past few years ! A good bit of aloneness had been by choice, through a healing process. Pandemic made it easier, but the negativity made it easier to isolate as well. What I'm learning from you, may just get me back out in the world, and Start the next chapter of living for the true purpose I was intended ! Have hit the target on so many issues, it seems as if you had been right by my side in life. Love you too 🙏💗🙏💗
I smile everyday, it’s not forced it’s natural. I compliment people all the time, I speak and I have a very contagious smile. I tell people thank you, have a good day ever single day.
Mel, you have no idea how much your words mean to me and, I'm sure, to all of us. That's how we love to live, with care about others, spreading good energy and understanding. Being just a big bulb of positive energy, like my niece says. We are really able to change the world. Thank you! ❤❤❤ With love, Magdalena
Thank you Soo much Mel. I stumbled into your podcast this morning and it’s something I really needed.I work in the most toxic n narcissistic workplace. Despite doing daily morning meditations I lose it most of the time. Thank you for helping bring me back to alignment. Much gratitude.
Oh my Gosh! Mel you are Amazing!! Love love your personality! I was laughing and it was exactly what I needed today! ❤ I was going through something and everything you talked about was everything I am going through! I am an empath and I absorb so much of peoples energy! I felt with both emotional emature and bully situations yesterday! The snow globe and 4-7-8 helped! Love u!
Mel, thank you so much for all of your inspiring tips on how to become a better version of myself. I just listened to this while I was clearing away clutter on the top of my dresser that I had been driving myself crazy about. Every day, when I woke up, I saw the pile of clutter, and had no idea how to deal with it. Today, while listening to several of your podcasts, I was able to work at clearing up the clutter, and to find the appropriate places for my things, instead of being in a messy heap. I was also able to organize my sock drawer, which had also been driving me crazy as the drawer would no longer close. Now, the drawer pulls out and closes with ease, and I can see all of my pairs of socks at a glance. For some reason, listening to you talk about how to help spread kindness to others, evolved into how to be kinder to myself. so, thank you!
I did this act of kindness. I called to educate the customer service desk at my local supermarket. I had received rather rotten treatment at the self check out. Hear is my policy...... maybe pass it along to your staff. KINDNESS IS FREE!!! She thanked telling me she says it all the time to them. Keep saying, it I truly believe it. I thanked her for being so generous and kind. We both had a better day. 😊
I’m an English learner from Japan. I really enjoyed your episode, not only for the English learning but also for the great tips for a better life. I cried because the story about your camaraderie was so moving. I love you and your podcast!
The practice of non-judgment has been the most freeing of all the different self regulatory practices I have adopted the past decade...feels like the other end of gossip ❤ I think the key word of your talk today is, Humility! 😊
I agree with all of these strategies for change. The one variable that can be different is YOU. Sometimes it's easier said that done. Bullies and liars are tough to work with!
Thank you so much Mel Robbins, I really appreciate these tools and so grateful for your work. What you are doing means the world to me... thank you for letting your light shine on our paths in times when things seem dark. I hear your podcasts and they're like little shimmering lights that say "here you go!! Psst over here!" Suddenly I feel less afraid of the dark.
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Did you enjoy this episode? I know I did! If so, please drop a like and comment below what you are going to do to bring more energy and positivity into your life!
I don't think you actually hate these negative people. I think you hate the negative behaviour and how it makes us feel. I can totally relate! Just last week at my retail job, my store manager, who has had a rough 2023, and I feel so deeply for this person and what they've been through last year, BUT long story short she straight up lied to the owner of the business and used me as a shield to cover her own ass! Yes, most people would say well that's life and that's just how it is but, is it? Why didn't she just own it and tell the truth? I did exactly what I was supposed to do in that situation and my managers dropped the ball, but I took the hit, and they knew I had done my job and did everything I could do but when the owner is there confronting the customer service situation, she did not tell the truth and say yes she did inform me of x y and z but I just didn't care enough at the time to take care of it like I should've. I was furious at her for a whole week, lost sleep, couldn't eat, on and on. Betrayal is a MF and it HURTS! I'm open to good advice! Thanks in advance. Now back to the video!
I'm literally trying to handle my positive nature around those who are negative. I feel like negative people surrounding me are not going to change.
Thank u for this video . U just shared very necessary knowledge which people need in their daily life . I enjoyed ur video and learned useful things❤
@@CarolynWise-nn2msXXI,🎊x.?😿💎ZZ😀👥👤👀👁️👁️👁️👀👀👇👇👇👇👄
I see your hot flash, and I raise you two! Ugh - hated. Way to power through, Mel❤🥵🔥🥶❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️
This woman has the most amazing life. Imagine helping so many people without even meeting them. Thank you.
Ikr!!!!
Be willing to offend others, to keep your boundaries and good energy 🙏
Well said! I am just recently learning that. It has taken me too long and I've worked too hard at gaining peace and positivity, and I refuse to let ANYONE take that from me!
OMG just had to do that and it was tough!
No. 😢 missing the point. Offending other's is not part of protecting energy.
We have to maneuver around negativity,but not ADD to it.tshhhh
Kill them with kindness it confuses them
Yes...I had that during the week.
Had to block my sister from toxicity and twisting facts.
So no more calls.
She so needs to behave.
Yikes.She is my sister.
I wish I could have seen this podcast two to three months ago when I was dealing with this in my job. No matter how I was treated, I was determined not to engage or return their hurtful volleys. I just kept repeating my mantra: " I can't afford this. I'm trying to accomplish something!" So I avoided making it worse. I know this is not easy for most people. It wasn't easy for me, I really wanted to throw their crap back in their face, but I didn't. I just focused on my job. And I finally stepped aside on my own terms. No one needs to work any job under threats, belittling, minimizing and disrespect. Don't ever give your power away to anyone. Choose not to engage. These people don't want to hear you defending yourself. It doesn't help. Just do your job and get out of there. And find a team and a supervisor who respect you. This message for everyone out there, who does a good job and takes pride in it. You've got nothing to be ashamed of. Don't ever make yourself feel small because of someone else's insecurities. And thank you Mel. We need more strong women like you, who are not afraid to tell it like it is. 👍🤓
Wow the universe does work wonders cause it brought me to this video
Protecting your energy is vital . I use meditations and boundary setting to ensure I lead a happy and fulfilled life. Spending time in nature helps too
I appreciate u & yr clear & helpful hints & advice! It's tried & true & believable!!! Thank you Jesus😂❤!!!
@@connieconroy4719 😁😁❤️❤️ I’m glad you like them hahaha
@@Maxhindle Who r u? What comment that I never replied to??????
That's NOT my reply!!?? (To anything) It's a FAKE reply & also a LIE......
My name & (12 days ago) was not my reply...........,😇 HELL O
Love this…”Don’t talk (gossip) about people that aren’t present.”. Perfect. ❤️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
If they talk about others behind their back, they'll probably talk about you, too.
You sound like my dear mother ❤ She raised us to always share "joy and sunshine" into everyone's lives. So very true.
Thank you, Mel. I am an extremely empathetic and reactive person and I’m aware I need to protect myself from other people’s trauma/drama/negativity because it decimates me if I don’t protect myself. I’m coming off of 2 1/2 weeks of yet again curling up in a ball to hide from life because I was depleted by other people.The snow globe image is genius and I will absolutely be utilizing it. I am aware of the power of the breath routine and I need to implement it consistently. My health was dramatically affected yet again in the past two weeks and I need to take care of myself. Thank you thank you and have a fantastic Monday!
Omg I'm like u same❤
I too been hiding the past almost 3 weeks 😢 now I feel depleted from life people too
magnificent mustang..you are living my life! wishing us both strength and self nurturing..with hugs to you
Thank you Mal your magnificent and I appreciate all your solutions. I will implement them in my day to day social interactions as it so well needed. May God bless all that you do in improving the lives of so many.
Thank you and beyond!
I absorb others energy. I'm trying to learn how to block it. I'll give you a try.
Truly, the old phrase, “Kill em’ with kindness”.
Small minds discuss people,
Average minds discuss events,
Great minds discuss ideas.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
One of my favorite quotes since high school!
She was quoting SOCRATES.
I love this
❤ this ! I try to remember it, too.
This episode could not have come at a better time for me. I am very similar to Claudia from the "difficult conversations" episode. Because of my childhood family culture, I have spent my life avoiding confrontations at all costs. But I realized that I was not protecting my peace, nor was I treating myself with any respect and love. But then I heard these two episodes, which helped me tremendously. Fast forward to this morning. I teach a fitness class for seniors. I love it, and I'm good at it. I can confidently say this, because I see the joy on my participants' faces and regularly hear how much they enjoy my class. But this morning I got an earful from one cranky old lady who complained about the dumbest things. Now granted, I welcome criticism. But this was petty. Three petty things. But more than that, she came at me in a very rude and disrespectful manner. The old me would have allowed this to suck the life out of me and question myself. But today I simply saw a spoiled child having a tantrum in a snow globe. Her toxicity stayed right in her little globe. I politely addressed her concerns, but then told her that we cannot accommodate everyone's preferences, so if she is not happy in my class, she is more than welcome to find another class that suits her needs. She huffed away, and I stood tall, with my peace and confidence in tact. I have never, ever stood up for myself like this in my entire life. It felt amazing. Thank you, Mel.
You kept your power! Well done. If we give into these entitled people they just continue with this behaviour. ! ❤
Sad. Teacher could and should have,shown dance ways to relax and destress... perfect opportunity to heal a client, instead...you feel only smiling happy people deserve to be in the class. Really sad. This is what I am moving far away from.youre PAID to HELP people, who are stressed, but you don't know how. Publicly making her leave, was what you chose? God, I wish I could comfort her. She's in pain, obviously.
Physically. High blood pressure, cholesterol... diabetes,heart issues...she complains because she is in pain. I was a caregiver. She could have been shown how to hold her breath, cleanse toxicity, anything about dance?!?!
@@HeatherNoeL-jd6fc It is clear you are a very caring and compassionate person. Please don’t assume I am not.
This woman’s complaints were voiced to me publicly and disrespectfully, and could have poisoned the class had I not addressed them properly, especially because they included attacks on other participants, whose crime is that “they’re annoying”because they’re so cheerful.
Obviously that’s a clear symptom of depression, which as you say, is sad. I agree. Regardless, that behavior is unacceptable in my class. So it had to be addressed. And since it was not the first incident, it had to be addressed clearly and firmly.
However, I ALSO care about this woman and have PRIVATELY talked with her and gotten to the core of what’s bothering her. And as you can probably guess, it has nothing to do with me or my class. I am sure to give her individualized attention every class, letting her know I care and asking her how her situation is going. Since this incident, she has not complained once and has told management how much she appreciates me.
Heather, it’s important to understand that you can set clear boundaries, not allowing toxic behavior toward you or others, while still being a kind person and showing compassion toward those who may lash out because they are hurting.
This was such a groundbreaking turning point for me because historically I have let people walk all over me, which is actually very unkind and cowardly. So please don’t judge my personal victory.
LOVE THIS! The snow globe and the policy of not talking about people unless they are in the room is going to change my life. THANK YOU, MEL!
Love the snow globe story and more so the policy on not talking about people unless they are present. Boy oh boy this is going to be easy...NOT! Lol! maybe it is going to be easier to take up the challenge and change now, as no one wants to be labeled as ‘Gossipers’. Love you Mel. You the Bomb! ❤
Good strategies! I avoid chronically negative people. Even on-line, some comment feeds get toxic! Sometimes I throw out something positive but anymore I just leave. Thx!
I am struggling at work with some grownup bullies to the extent that I spend my days off paralyzed with depression & just stay in bed pretty much ,, finding you on utube today couldn’t have come at a better time ,, you always seem to have the answers! Love you !Thankyou!
I wish you the best. Depression and low self esteem from other's bullying and put downs is so hard to deal with!! 😢😢 I get it
I've been there. A lot.
Remember that you are worthy and you matter just as much as any other person on earth. 😊❤❤👍
Stand up and take a crack at the cowards.
Do not ignore or enable their delinquency.
Otherwise everyone loses.
I am living the same, workplace bullies!! They must have never grown up, but it still manages to break me!
I just started watching your videos and podcasts and all I can say is, I am so grateful for you and the positive energy along with great wit, you share with your followers. I am 80 years old and have spent the majority of my life working on myself through seminars, therapy, retreats and now,in the comfort of my home, I get to see a wonderful soul called “Mel.” Thank you for the love and light to bring to all. ❤️
Hello Mel! Thanks for addressing the serious and terrible issue of gossip. So many people’s lives revolve around this pettiness. Gossiping adults act like grade school bullys who refuse to grow up. They’re teaching their children that this is acceptable behavior, and it’s never ending. Let’s all do better!
Thank you I fall short Mel 😊
I LOVE YOUR ENERGY AND EXCELLENT SENCE OF HUMOR THANKS 👍🏽🙏🏽😊🔥 😎
I’ve been a front desk agent in New York City and the nightmarish entitled things that people slammed workers like myself with were incredible. I know exactly who this woman is. I appreciate this video!
I know we're not supposed to gossip but 👀 ..... 😂
Mel, that snow globe illustration was brilliant! I so needed that visual and I will be implementing your genius
I will forever remember an illustration about goseping that samewone,once sad.
He sad goseping is so damaging to the image of the person you goseping about, like a drop of poison in a clean glass of water, and he continued..
Imagine a pillow that's crushed and all the flaf from inside the pillow starts to flow and disparse everywhere, that message like (gossiping) flys and rich to many and you can't never collect that back.
I look forward to see the sacretness in every person I met and complimente instead.❤
Thank you, Mel! I'm only 15 minutes in and already feel a bit better.
I am energy, I give it, I receive it. I'v just received some great energy from you Mel. Love You Mel, thank you.❤ Have a beautiful day.
What an episode! A lightbulb moment for me, I can’t wait to use these strategies, negativity has just exhausted me for too long. I am 52 years old and feel like this is going to be a new beginning for me. Love you Mel! ❤
Hey Catherine ❤, how are you feeling today ?
So much to unpack. Isn’t this how we all want to be in the world? 😅 Thank you for reminding us to be this way with our families as well. We tend to take each other for granted. A side note: my father was the person who would scream and yell at service people and wait staff, until he got his way. Unfortunately, it always worked out for him. During his last days on this earth, he spent much of his time yelling and screaming at the nurses and hospice people that were trying to help him. However, my mother (my parents have been divorced for years) has always been kind to everyone, and wherever she goes in her town, everyone is excited to see her and will literally run up to her with huge smiles on their faces. Could there be any better real life illustration of how to treat people?
Growing up with abusive parents has made me hyper aware of others moods, it’s hard not to try to appease the rude person to prevent further escalation. I get the snow globe thing, but it’s hard to ignore the tantrum.
Yep
Love the thought of picturing them in a snow globe. I have half my coworkers in their snow globes right now. By visualizing this silence the fit, lol.
And we appreciate you, Mel! I hope you know , you are a light in so many lives.
Absolutely 💯
Oh and it feels good to be kind , thoughtful , complementary, and present with people! When I falll into a pattern of gossiping I feel awful…. And you hurt yourself and make yourself look bad. Not the person your gossiping about….
The snow globe is a good analogy and it’s funny to me because I actually use that kind of visual in reverse, meaning that before I go into a meeting or get together with someone whose energy is negative or chaotic I do closed eye deep breathing and visualize a glass bubble that entirely surrounds me, protecting me from others energy. I imagine that my force field/snow globe is impenetrable. It really helps! I’ve recently fallen into some negative and fearful thought patterns but I caught myself today and I’m back to focusing on the positive and bringing my vibration back up. I appreciate your input and advice, you’re brilliant!
I start every day listening to something from Mel. Thank you!!!!❤
Thank you Mel. I’m the person who is next in line behind the crazy. I try to smile and complement the poor person who was just yelled at! Bonus.. I am loud enough so if the person that yelled is within ear shot… I know it won’t change them but I get a kick out of it😊
12:30 - I'm with Chris. I LOVE the buzz of a busy terminal. People watching. Noshing on various foods from the food court, etc...
That was so powerful about the gossip. I work in a office full of women and I have found myself in the midst of gossip. I’m so sorry 😢
Wow wow wow that's awesome talk especially with gossip part I love that thanks,
Thank you for this, Mel! I need to be reminded about these principles every now and again. You always seem to come with the right thing at the right time. Big hugs!
I love the snow globe idea. I am definitely using this one.
Some lovely nuggets in here... th snow globe, the not talking about people who aren't in the room rule, the just being nice to everyone and knowing what an effect it can have
Thank you
# love positive energy
I share my smile even though the person isn’t smiling. They smile back at me. I know, when someone is rude with me, I say to myself, I didn’t do anything to that person, it’s not me, it’s what going on in their life. It protects me.
I do this too!:)
Samee
I love the snowglobe analogy! 🎉just adore 🥰 it
Thank you, Mel. Truly. I love you too and greatly appreciate you. ❤️
Amen sister! You said it about gossiping
Veronica‘s question is SO on point ❤ thanks for asking it !
You are amazing, Mel!!! This podcast found its way to me today because of the stresses at work and how I have been sick the last few days. It's from absorbing all the negatively happening at work, and I work on the front desk and love my job!!!! Our manager is a beautiful soul but too much is falling through the cracks. This podcast has actually bought me around and I will be skipping on the gossip and mean things being said in my prescence!!! Thank you for being my light today!!!!🎉✨️✨️✨️✨️✨️❤️❤️❤️
Thank you Mel. As a young hotel receptionist, i went to this situation lots of times by now. I wish that people know the amount of effort that hotel staff put in to accommodate the guests at the best of our abilities. Sometimes, things happen. But please, be patient because you don t have any idea what staff went through during the day. 🙏🏽
I love the snow globe analogy!! I almost can’t wait to use it! 😂
How do I use this can you please explain to me
I am so grateful to you
It felt so good when you were kind to us- I learned how to be kind and authentic back to me!!!
Have a good day!!
Mel, this is wonderful that you can be a force for positivity! So glad to know you!
The snow globe image is epic!!!😂
I think it’s important to remember that we can all be “emotional vampires”. In the instance of the hotel clerk, that sounded like abuse. In the case of abuse, I believe we have moral duty to take a stand for some one who is being abused. You can take care of yourself, use breathing techniques, etc. and respond to an abusive tactic with that same calm energy. It takes a lot of practice and a lot of intention. I believe it’s important for us as a society to stand up for one another. I had an MRI yesterday and I used the 4-7-8 technique and it worked like a charm! Thank you, Mel.
I don’t know what I would do if I didn’t have you in my life everyday! You are my spirit animal ❤️ we all love you so much for you just being you!
This woman has the most amazing life. Imagine helping so many people without even meeting them. Thank you.
I had a curmudgeon boss who seemed to enjoy being mean, not just with me. One Saturday when no one was at the office, just me catching up on filing, I went into his office and saw a birthday card on his desk, signed Mom. Suddenly I felt a little more empathetic toward him. My own mother oozed love 💕 in her cards to me. She always told me what a wonderful daughter I was, how much I meant to her, etc. His mother didn't even sign it Love, Mom
Omg! Mel I LOVE LOVE your podcast, I started following you a 2 months ago and I already feel different
lighter, happier, full of motivation, energy, positivity and full of hope, I need u in my life long time ago, THANKS MEL, YOU ROCK❤❤❤
I’m a janitor and have been having a hard time at work with a specific person always making comments and treating me like I’m secondary to my more outgoing coworker. I’m working alone this week and it’s been especially hard and making me feel depressed but this podcast helped. Thank you!
With luv .. thank you Mel
This was God send
Sitting in my car at 5:15 am In the hospital parking trying to ground myself and this vid comes on.
The wife anxiety for a surgery has been trying to castigate me for 3 days. I’ve not lost my shit but this vid gave me loads of strength
Thank you. 🙏
2 yrs apart nice 😊
I have a coworker who is very negative and difficult. Every day I have to deal with this person and it's sometimes soul crushing. This morning I tried your advice: smile a big, toothy smile at them to make the good vibes contagious. At first, they took offense and told me they didn't appreciate the sarcasm. I just nodded and walked away. So far, they've been in a better mood since 😅 . Seems to have worked. Thank you!
Mel, I’m new to you and absolutely love your energy and advise.
I used to work at a very high class Salon and performed massage and facials.
I would ask the other therapists how to get of the negative energy. I became very sick and couldn’t do my job anymore due to this issue.
Now I know how to implement this. Also, when I get upset I‘ll pretend I’m in the snow globe til i get it out!
Mel, I needed to take some time off this week to remove myself from some negative people and situations, as well as try and figure out who I really am as a person. After listening to this podcast, one thing is for certain: I want/need to find the nice and positive part of myself and bring her back to the center. Thank you, Mel!
This episode was so great ..like all of them ..I work in a Costco and the customer ( members) are so rude and entitled thank you soo much ..keep being you and doing what you do
I really appreciated this podcast from you today Mel. It resonates with changes I'm making in my own life and needed to hear. It's great to know I'm not alone on this. Thank You.
It’s really hard for me to set boundaries with my mother in particular. I would like to see my family during the holidays as I spent Thanksgiving alone and I don’t think it’s good for me to isolate just because my mother is so hard to be around. But all of the gatherings are at her house. She has. A sharp tongue that can cut like a knife. She doesn’t treat my sister this way, but I feel like that is because my sister is married with kids. So she tries to be on her best behavior in front of my sister‘s family. But she is so mean to me.
Mel …greet people like dogs do ! How awesome is it to come home and the dogs are so happy to see you !
What a great topic!! I get so affected by other peoples’ energy and I have a close family member who is quite negative.
This talk has really helped me realise how much ownership I take for others discomfort! As though it is my responsibility….when it’s theirs to manage. Beyond empathy. Taking it all on. This talk would be good coupled with getting better at boundaries.
I remember the moment I decided to stop gossiping and IMMEDIATELY I felt so much lighter. Just from that decision. And yes 100% if they do it with you they’ll do it to you
This morning i got up feeling average left my house and took a drive to get a coffee
Purchased a motoneuron disease beanie (its a donation to the research more so) and gave it to a very faired hair young man on the way out the shop I was in) it made me feel so good sharing kindness he was beside himself its crazy cold in Wangaratta Victoria Australia so thank you Mel for all that you have shared with your audience- speaking for myself I listen to you daily and let me tell you your fruitful casts are life transforming and rewarding to say the least- THANK YOU SO MUCH YOU ARE ONE OF MY FAVOURITE HUMAN IN THE ENTIRE WORLD!
Much Love god bless you and your kind spirit ❤ ❤❤❤❤🎉
I recently had to cut ties with a friend because of the habit of and apparent joy she felt when gossiping. Gossip is toxic! I love your rule of not discussing any one not in the same room. Thank you for all your guidance. The reciprocity you mentioned is powerful. One of my favorites is,
“What a beautiful smile you have. “. This is not offensive and is appropriate for all ages and genders. Keep up your marvelous work. We need your kindness and positivity ❤️
I've been watching Mel's videos every chance I get this morning, and after watching this, I don't have to worry about angry coworkers anymore! I feel like I have "coworker protection" thanks to Mel Robbins.
Express joy of life!!! We in Minnesota USA we had a SNOW STORM LAST NIGHT!!! SO BEAUTIFUL!!! 😅❤😂😊
I feel that hate is a very strong word. I can see disliking the behavior but to hate is so very strong.
I just have to say that I adore you Mel! You put out some of the most helpful content for someone like me. I'm the person who struggles all my life with taking on other people's negative energy. I literally get emotional and I literally lose sleep over every day negative encounters. There are some really intriguing techniques you have suggested and I can't wait to try them out asap. THANK YOU for caring and for giving back. 💗
Thank you Mel! You are so inspiring and I love how you present the whole concept of making changes! I love the
4,5 8…. I love the cheering on of your colleagues, the excited to see you and how was your day when they get home.
And the gossip….. so simple!
Just don’t talk about anyone if they’re not present….
I love telling my friends how much I appreciate them and love them. It keeps such a special bond between us!
You are appreciated in all you do with your empowering videos and positive energy! You are new to me when I’m looking motivational messages. So happyI found you! Thank you! ❤️☀️🌴☮️
Oh my goodness you’re electric!!!! 🎉
I may be late yes, managers with negative mindset has tremendous impact on our lives.
Mel, I no longer wait until last minute to get on the plane after I was kicked out of my first class seat on a anniversary trip bc they overbooked. Now I'm the first person in line. Live & learn.
So very grateful to have found you, Mel, because I honestly do not feel as alone as I have been this past few years ! A good bit of aloneness had been by choice, through a healing process. Pandemic made it easier, but the negativity made it easier to isolate as well. What I'm learning from you, may just get me back out in the world, and
Start the next chapter of living for the true purpose I was intended ! Have hit the target on so many issues, it seems as if you had been right by my side in life. Love you too 🙏💗🙏💗
❤Mel you never cease to amaze me!! Ty ty
THANKYOU Mel 😊...I love you too ❤❤
I smile everyday, it’s not forced it’s natural. I compliment people all the time, I speak and I have a very contagious smile. I tell people thank you, have a good day ever single day.
Mel, you have no idea how much your words mean to me and, I'm sure, to all of us. That's how we love to live, with care about others, spreading good energy and understanding. Being just a big bulb of positive energy, like my niece says. We are really able to change the world. Thank you! ❤❤❤
With love,
Magdalena
Thank you Soo much Mel. I stumbled into your podcast this morning and it’s something I really needed.I work in the most toxic n narcissistic workplace. Despite doing daily morning meditations I lose it most of the time. Thank you for helping bring me back to alignment. Much gratitude.
Oh my Gosh! Mel you are Amazing!! Love love your personality! I was laughing and it was exactly what I needed today! ❤ I was going through something and everything you talked about was everything I am going through! I am an empath and I absorb so much of peoples energy! I felt with both emotional emature and bully situations yesterday! The snow globe and 4-7-8 helped! Love u!
Veronica!! Nailed that question! I paused the video just to be sure to tell you! Can't wait to hear Mel's response!❤
Mel, thank you so much for all of your inspiring tips on how to become a better version of myself. I just listened to this while I was clearing away clutter on the top of my dresser that I had been driving myself crazy about. Every day, when I woke up, I saw the pile of clutter, and had no idea how to deal with it. Today, while listening to several of your podcasts, I was able to work at clearing up the clutter, and to find the appropriate places for my things, instead of being in a messy heap. I was also able to organize my sock drawer, which had also been driving me crazy as the drawer would no longer close. Now, the drawer pulls out and closes with ease, and I can see all of my pairs of socks at a glance. For some reason, listening to you talk about how to help spread kindness to others, evolved into how to be kinder to myself. so, thank you!
I did this act of kindness. I called to educate the customer service desk at my local supermarket. I had received rather rotten treatment at the self check out. Hear is my policy...... maybe pass it along to your staff. KINDNESS IS FREE!!! She thanked telling me she says it all the time to them. Keep saying, it I truly believe it. I thanked her for being so generous and kind. We both had a better day. 😊
This is one of the best podcasts I have heard.
I’m an English learner from Japan. I really enjoyed your episode, not only for the English learning but also for the great tips for a better life. I cried because the story about your camaraderie was so moving. I love you and your podcast!
The practice of non-judgment has been the most freeing of all the different self regulatory practices I have adopted the past decade...feels like the other end of gossip ❤ I think the key word of your talk today is, Humility! 😊
Well said! ❤
The snow globe could also be a visual of the love we are showering on the person who is stressed! ❄️
That’s perfect
I agree with all of these strategies for change. The one variable that can be different is YOU. Sometimes it's easier said that done. Bullies and liars are tough to work with!
THIS WAS AMAZING!!!. Totally needed to hear all of this. You Rock Mel! Thanks so much! ❤
Thank you for the realness and awareness. Love from Portland Oregon
Love this! Love you!
Thank you so much Mel Robbins, I really appreciate these tools and so grateful for your work. What you are doing means the world to me... thank you for letting your light shine on our paths in times when things seem dark. I hear your podcasts and they're like little shimmering lights that say "here you go!! Psst over here!" Suddenly I feel less afraid of the dark.