5 Questions Men Ask When They Fall in Love with You
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- Опубликовано: 14 июл 2024
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I am an 81 year old widow and very active in the dating and relationship world and I highly recommend Steve Harvey's book ACT LIKE A LADY--THINK LIKE A MAN. Every woman should read!!
That's amazing to hear! If you don't mind me asking, how do you go about dating at this stage of life? Wishing you the best & long healthy life
You would be surprised how older women can enjoy a romantic relationship even more than when they were younger . Those women can look better and the maturity helps them to be able to handle a relationship better than when they , too. I have found that dating is the same at any age.
my grandma was engaged 3 times in her z60-80s❤
I do find Mr Harvey to be sexist and rather crude. Sorry but I am not interested. And women and men aren't that different but our warped society makes us think so sadly. I think that it's great that you date and so do I at seventy. Time goes too fast
@@sarahgodwin-xd1wrI'm with you pretty much. He is so sexist and riddled with stereotypical attitudes. I am 70 and it's amazing to me how many more men interested in me now
1. What your love language is?
2. Where do you see in 5 years from now?
3. What you can stand in your life?
4. What is your financially status now?
5. What is your greatest passion and joy?
Amen.....
👍
Thank you! I really appreciate Jonathon's videos but i often don't have the time to watch an hour-long video, with the usual repetitions etc. Eventhough, other people have pointed that out, there doesn't seem to be any changes.
A man wouldn't ask what my "love language" is. No man I've ever known talks that way or would even know what "love language" is referring to. As for "What you can stand in your life?," what does that mean? What you can stand....hmmm. Nope...I don't know what that means. Men I've known have asked, or tried to ascertain on their own, what my financial status is. Men determine what a woman's passion/joy is by spending time w/her doing different things, asking what she does for fun in her spare time. No man has ever asked me where I see myself 5 yrs from now...even the man I married years ago. A man MIGHT ask what my plans are for the coming year or two.
Love You Tube. ❤️
@@Honeycombe88 My thoughts exactly. Especially 1, 3 and 4. First one - if you have IQ larger than your shoe size and you are willing to stay around long enough to figure that one out yourself, you wouldn't ask for digested manual. Third one is alarming, to put it mildly. What is he planning of putting you through if inquiring about your tolerance/endurance levels? Number 4. is red flag. I get men get rip off in divorce process and through financial breaks, however, no man with stable income (not great, just stable and sufficient) would ask this question, unless he is dating a woman with 6 minor children without income and alimony. Even than is easier not to date her than to ask this question which is always a red flag regardless the gender of a person asking.
Wait longer than 90 days to have sex. Sex is a big deal! My parents dated for over a year when they were married and did not have sex until they were married. Together 58 years.
Having spent a recent 12 years in Alaska I can give you the scoop on romance in the state: "The odds are good, but the goods are odd." Just a heads up.....
LOL
Know a woman who met her husband when she moved to Alaska. She's married with 3 kids.
Lol hahaha 🤣😂😅
Could be the same in tropical North Queensland.... oops 🤪
🤣🤣🤣
I have never asked these questions when I’ve fallen in love with a woman.
One of the issues I’ve come across multiple times is that they lie about their own financial, physical/mental health and are looking for a woman to help support and take care of them.
Yeah, walk [Run!] away.
Hi. On the "Steve Show" there was a gal who asked the same question. "Why does my man lie to me?" She had that soft, black voice which didn't sound like a complaint, more like a statement. Steve, "Cause we's scared." I found that priceless.
Dating at an older stage of life should be less “how was your day” and more “how is your life?”
Good one...
I am glad I am passed all of this. Yay. 76 years and free and happy.
I dated a man that lied about where he lived. He had reasons but he lied about other things! 😢 things that hurt later. Be on guard
Google people
I wish my big brother was here…. I lost him a few years ago. Now I have another brother for advice. 🙏 thanks!
Amen!!
What makes it soooo hard is we live in a more narcissistic society today and rather then fixing what ya got folks throw things away and get a new one😢
At age 60+, I have more dates than ever before, and with ever younger men. That’s one positive aspect of online dating. It also keeps me out of bars; I quit drinking alcohol years ago.
😊Aloha, i'm from hawaii i had been dating a younger man. he asked me my age, and I told him I'm am much older than you. And he said do age matters and i said maybe not, so we been texting eachother for 2months. he do live in the United States.
My mother has always told me throughout my life starting at 18 (old enough to go to a bar) that I won't find a good man in a bar . When I was younger I told her there must some good decent men at a bar. I'm now a lot older and have to admit my mother was right !!
Congratulations for walking away from the bars!
There's also just as many " not so good matches" online as there is at a bar :)
Dating younger guys is fun❣️
100 hours of knowing someone is longer than 10 days. A date is about 3 or 4 hrs. that's about 25 dates. That's really not very long at all. A false face can still hold strong in that short of time.
I've seen a false face hold strong for over a year. And when the mask came off it was a nightmare.
I lost my 42 year old son 3 years, the pain in my heart will go to the grave with me
Respect you of what you are is one of the best signs that a man loves a woman.
If God wants me to be with a man...he will send me one on the right path. And he will be a real man of God. I do not want anything less...so I get the best. 🦋⚘🌿
Yes but you cat just " lay back in your feminine energy". Go introduce yourself
God helps those who helps themselves! I believe that we have to do our part
Seek, O servant, and I will work with thee.
Best to be just with the Lord. Most men are no good.
❤🎉❤🎉❤
So far any men who asked me about my love language and any other digging questions like these, was a narcissist who wanted a shortcut to my emotions so he could use and abuse me faster. It was weird when they tried faking giving me everything I said i desired or showing me my love language giving me what i wanted way too fast early on.
Your little prayer at 22.20 is beautiful and so on heart/centered. In my work I see so many people (couples) living lives of quiet Desperation. It is sad. Thank you for the self loving prayer.
Such a touching moment when your thought of your son’s loss. You!ve been through a lot. This makes you good at what you do.
Thank you 🙏🧂
I fell in love with a man in JA, 23 yrs younger than me. I’m relocating in the next few months.
Best wishes...
You are the big brother. And the father figure. My lord, the wisdom here is unmatchable! It helps us deep dive into our lives and make amends before plunging into the dating marketplace.
I abhor "reality" tv. And fb. And insta. And tiktok. And talking on the phone.
Mind numbing.
Read a book. Dote on loved ones. Get outside. Build/make/create something. Learn something. Laugh doing something real with somebody In Person wherever. 🥰
And very happy for you that Collin will be right there! 🥳
Thanks 🙏
@@JonathonAslay Hey Jonathon
I love listening to you, I close my ears when you use the “f” but inspit
Of
I am so sorry for your loss !! God bless your son’s soul 😢
More and more children, people are growing up without parents or parents that didn't care or who were on drugs who never got any of their emotional needs taken care of let alone their healthy needs food clothing clean clothes, so this is what we run into once society breaks down, and people don't care about each other anymore. The only thing they care about is themselves that their needs are being taken care of. Which means to me that somewhere in there growing up years they were never taught or they didn't get their needs met.
Tonia
I joined a dating site but realized I was still grieving. Men do not understand my workload.
I worked seven days a week. They want a woman who has time to travel, go hiking, etc. You are correct you have to be able to determine if your lifestyles match.
I feel so disappointed after a guy either ghosts or using excuses to fly. I feel like I am doing something wrong or I am not good enough for someone to try to get to know eachother better...Am I giving too much importance to a guy who maybe not right for me after all? I totally accept that not everyone will like us but it's sooo strange for me that one day he is so interested and the next day he goes cold. 😢
He’s an avoidant personality style sadly.
Jonathon, your videos are making a difference in my life - you are making a difference.
I'm on my way on loving myself for many years now, and I enjoy every day being me. Connecting with my inner childs and taking me as I am today, really took it's time - it took seven years.
And I didn't date for seven years as well, whitch was my own decision, because I wanted to feel comfortable with myself first and I wanted to get to known to myself.
Not long ago something changed. I changed the way I was really seeing myself and started to love every part of being me.
Now I'm ready for dating again.
Beside other messages from really special and wise people, yours are the cherry on the top!
Thank you from my heart!
I have a prayer too, similar to yours Jonathon. I will not settle for less. The rest of my lifetime is too important to be with someone who isn't quite right or even worse toxic. Its sad that so many will forgo a relationship or a meaningful one and choose to qrow old alone. That will not be my fate!
I believe in waiting a substantial period of time before sexual activity occurs in a relationship. I haven't dated a lot but all the men that I have dated and been sexual with are still in my life on some level.
I dated a widower for a month. Then he said after telling me for a month how beautiful, sexy and how wonderful I was like out of his league. All of a sudden he tells me he loves my smile and in the same breath can’t give me the love I want. Wtf??
Be happy he was honest When a man tells you who he is, believe him. Don’t try to rescue or reassure. Just gracefully walk away.
Steve Harvey said Don’t give up the Cookie !!!!
Wait 90 days 😂
That’s me.
Probably why I’m still single lol.
Aenna Burda.was the creator of sewing patterns. "The stones that were thrown at me I used to build a wonderful staircase." Starting as a employee in her future husband's family publishing business, she had revolutionary ideas about sewing. That publishing house later served as a vehicle to print her patterns. In those times women were literally forced into marriage. Going it alone was financially impossible except for those who inherited a fortune. Aenne Burde had many a nut to crack. Her husband was against her ideas although he was facing bankruptcy after WW2. She just didn't give up! Many of her quotes are still used today. "Love takes time to grow". This is a case of love which moved mountains.
Thanks for the commentary. So much to ponder. My Pollyanna attitude doesn't always serve me well, so appreciate alternative views!
Thank you for the precious words about dating these days. Noone talks about it these days. Your channel is very human.
Sorry to hear of your loss. Been watching you all videos. You do know what is what. You tell it like it is. Thanks
Thank you for this video. You're making a positive difference in my life. I appreciate, respect and really admire your honesty! 🙏❤
Jonathan, you’re making a big difference in my life! I love your energy and no nonsense approach to finding love and have been watching your videos weekly for the past few months. And I’m thrilled you’ve found an amazing woman to share your life with, you are both lucky! Thanks for being awesome!
Wow, thank you!
You're straight talking is very refreshing
Thank you
@@JonathonAslay Hello Mr Aslay,..... I've only just across your tube messages/videos Since Dec23. and oh my God!!!
You are sooooo extremely spot on with saying dating in the day & age is a shit hole!!!!!!!! We have to be soooo aware of what we want out there & to stop being hurt.
Sadly dating isent going to get any better!! I totally agree with everything U say in your videos!!!
I will keep tuning in to your advice. I thank God u are out there to guide us. Bless u Mr Aslay🙏♥️
My kind regards, Rita(63 & still seeking my soul mate, not giving up!!)
I 100% totally agree with you! I love listening to you!!!
I recently discovered your channel & absolutely love your content & your delivery. Thank you!
I’m going to order your book today ❤
Awesome! Thank you!
You're a breath of fresh air. Loving your work
Amen! I learn something new every day.😊
Love that you love Jordan Petersen. He is so brave in this world of "woke". I'm just new to your channel Jonathon, and I so like your straight forward talk. You are helping many of us out here that need "straight talk".
JP is great
Love watching your videos so straight forward and honest! Love that you don’t censor yourself and drop F bombs- that’s real life and it makes me feel like I could hang out with you and you wouldn’t judge me. You feel like a caring brother- giving advice and so direct- love it.
I have watched many of your videos and will be watching all of them. Each one you mention your son, and I pray for you each time. I can’t imagine how hard that must be for you and your family. All the care and wisdom you give to strangers like me, just wanted you to know others like me care about you too. Continued prayers for you and your family- thank you again!
Thank you
Totally agree, I feel the same. I like the style too. :) Not many of the people who listen to the channel express so much compassion, it's really kind Rebecca.
Jonathan never change I love your uncensored honesty and bluntness I find it personally refreshing. PS I sent you an email with your information at gmail I hope you received it please let me know.
Same. I use the F word and say "I used the F word because it is the only word that adequately describes the situation". I did that at the doctor, internist the other day.
Love this channel, good stuff--keep it coming🎉
Hello from England Jonathon - I can only begin to imagine your pain at the loss of your son. You are doing a remarkable job of lifting people up - thank you for your wisdom and making me laugh in the process
Thank you so much! 🙏
Thank you GOD WITH YOU
Been thinking a lot about how I am dating, how I want to date, and the person I'd want to bring into my life. You have made a difference!! Thank you for sharing. I've got a lot of great book recommendations, including Eight Dates that I need to read!!
1-what’s your love language 2-where do you see yourself in 5 years? 3-what’s something g you can’t stand in life? 4-what’s your greatest passion and what brings you joy? 5-what’s your financial situation?
Perfect
Refreshing show today! A feel-good.!
My first time to hear ur podcast-very honest/insightful, thanks so much!
Thanks for listening
Love your bluntless !!! Keep it up, i’m subscribing !!! 👍
Thanks for subbing
Ur making a difference in my life. I listen to ur videos and they are all have positive directions for me. Thanku
Happy to hear...
I agree with alot of what you say in your videos. It also seems many people who have been through divorce and the court system have relationship fatigue. I agree sex has to be taken out of the equation for a partnership to be determined if it is truly viable. Self love is crucial at this age
Jonathan, you are making a HUGE difference in my life!
My finances are private. Sorry. Idont need an opportunist wanting to know what I'm worth before he proposes.
Trust is so important. Amen
Amen
Lucie had a point...
If age rules them out then that's sorting the wheat from the chaf!! Always be honest and if they can't handle it... they are not worth it!!
I asked him what his love language is, we did the test and we share the same language.
Loved your prayer, and I agree! That is my prayer too!
🙏
Which language was that? example please
Love how direct you are😂 real, true facts !
So good. Makes so much sense. ❤
Yes Jonathan you have helped me wirh some situations. Thank you
I totally agree that we need to ask. Better questions. The first person I asked out after my divorce, responded “I would, but I have a girlfriend”. Clearly important information to have before asking on a date 😂
I think that because things are too accelerated now and people "are not asking the right questions, could be , on the woman's part, we don't want to come off looking like a "prude" for stating our boundaries to wait for the sexual level. Also it is a fear that the guy will think or pity us by saying something like "Oh, I see. You must have been really hurt in the past." That is a red flag since it is not considering our waiting is for other deeper reasons. Anyone agree?
I love your vulnerability and total unedited honesty. Thank you for your videos, they have been helpful as I navigate my way through the "shitshow" of a dating world! I am positive, and hopeful that I will persevere and not turn to 🐈's! 😂
Amen! Big bro! Thanks for being you!
I like the shade of red in your pullover. Looks real quality!
Hey Jonathan. You've taught me so much about love and life. You're a true inspiration 😊❤
I have been in a relationship for several months. We’re taking it slow. We are both divorced with grown children, were single for a couple years and are building trust, balancing family, work and activities. His job is going to be ending. I took your advice and offered space. I waited for him to contact me. He did at least once daily. This past Friday, my son was admitted to a hospital for depression and anxiety. I tried others but no one answered their phones. I reached out to my man. He said he’s on his way. He saw me drunk, ugly crying, transparent and authentic. I’m pretty certain he said “I love you”. I sobered up quickly and asked him to repeat because I wanted to make sure I heard correctly 😂 I know I love him. Do you recommend I wait for him to say it or volunteer my feelings?
That's heart warming. Sounds like you're on a winner there. I am pleased for you....
My man said I do really love you - (he doesn't bandy lovey dovey words lightly). It was on the phone so I nearly fell over backwards. I should have asked him to repeat but I pussy footed in my response. He was in Andalucia at the time and had had a drink.
I get that sometimes he puts his many other lady friends first in Mojacar & he's making a life for himself out there. He said he comes back to Dorset to deal with his place here but he has nothing to come back for....obviously I don't feel I am a priority. Then he said recently "we have our ups and down" what does he mean by that? I have opened up to him and tried to be mature about my feelings but I don't think I'm a priority. He blows hot and cold.& It leaves me agitated and down despite my being an optimist sometimes he seems to want to take away my happiness? I am confused.
He lives in Mojacar most of the year and I live in England. He tells me he has visiting lady friends but they sleep in the guest room! Then he asked when I was coming over. (Followed by "you'll have to pay your way") I always do.(he is very parsimonious) I buy him presents and drinks but it's a struggle as he is financially stable with two homes. I am generous but he extracts things out of me. I have never had a birthday or Xmas gift. So I am finding it going nowhere - yet when he's had a drink or over in England three times a year he's attentive.or is that because I accept so little. I feel I am living in a fools paradise. I am feeling cut off !
Like I am taken out of the cupboard and then put back when it suits him. I also haven't met his friends and family. I went to get him a card at his sister's shop and introduced myself! In the end! She was surprised him being a private person he must think of me as a fool. I was assertive for once! Then I saw his brother at the beach.
But I wasn't invited to his birthday recently he said it's family only. But it was Frances (long time women friend whom he said was like family! ) and another two friends a couple, they with his siblings spent birthday at a restaurant. I was hurt badly. We made a meeting on the beach and I took wine and a picnic but it was somewhat of a damp squib. Esp when he asked me to bring everything as he'd turned his freezer off ready to go back in two days to Spain and he had no food in the interim.
The only good thing is I am not giving into demands of his for sex. Then I'd feel really bad. It's been a long time but I have to break free. I invested too much time. Hoping I was getting an extended family & some joy....
I had asked him two weeks previously to leave his Aug birthday free I would take him out. He never answered. So then said it's all arranged & has been for some time. You can take me out another evening. Soul destroying. I feel I am with a narcissist. But naive I am unsure I shouldn't be as my mother was that way and I put up with really bad treatment I don't know why.
Gosh I didn't mean to be so long winded but in my heart I know it's a no no. But he then gushes super love and says he wants more intimacy (I withold) bit difficult 2000 miles away! Help. Any advice would be welcome. Peace ☮️ out
@@christynorman7288He doesn’t invite you to his birthday? He hasn’t even tried to get you a birthday or Christmas present?
Your instincts are telling you all you need to know, you’re not a priority. You have to make special plans to meet when you’re visiting from out of the country??
I hope you’ve since ended it with this user.
Hard fact
Please@@christynorman7288, just walk away from him and never, ever let him back in your life! It will be hard, but you can do it!!!
Podcasts and You Tube are my main go-to’s these days.
👍
Thank you Jonathan, your videos on U Tube are quite an eyer opener😮
Glad you like them!
👍 definitely! Meeting the right person these days, is NOTHING
like it used to be!
just started following you. this is great :)
Awesome, thank you!
Thanks so much big brother!!
Any time!
John, it's sinking in, thank you. My heartfelt sympathies, about your beloved son. 🌷
I came across your channel just very recently . All your videos are very helpful, regards the subject you are mentioning here , I totally agree with you. We all need to raise the bar and more of a high value ladies . Thank you
Thanks and welcome
Jonathon,could you make an episode dedicated to dating > 60 ?
Most of my videos are for people 40, 50, 60 and even 70...
This is great stuff👍
Amen 🙏 thank you for this great video dear Jonathon . I appreciate it 🤗🙏😘
You are so welcome
Loved this podcast!
Glad you enjoyed it!
I agree with you on all points! I’m so glad I found this channel because a lot of things you say I have always felt but I’ve been accused of being old-school. It’s comforting to know that I’m not on the wrong path. I lost my husband nine years ago. By the way I am sorry for your loss as well. I know how gut wrenching grief can be. It’s something that really never goes away , your loss as well as my widowhood will be part of my every day for the rest of my life. With that said I found the dating sites to be depressing. I was on them a year and a half after my husband passed because before he died of a catastrophic illness he told me that he did not want me sitting home alone for too long. Trying to navigate my way through the grief and dealing with the dating site just compounded things for me so I’ve been off them for quite some time. I haven’t found anyone yet but while I’m waiting and manifesting and trying to circulate I am educating myself. I think if a lot of people and please don’t take this personally it’s not just women or not just men but people need to take the time to learn about things. And that really means anything. After my husband died I read 10 books on grief and loss to try to learn about it. When I went through menopause lol I read all these books, And listened to podcasts to try to educate myself on what was happening to my body so I could navigate through it as best as I could. I think if people just got off of TikTok lol and research some things which is so much easier today! Because of the Internet we could learn so much. Whenever man comes along on my path I know I’m gonna be ready because I’ve been reading and researching and focusing on aspects of my behavior that I can smooth out so when my encounter comes I know I will be ready. Keep the great material coming coming! You and John Gray are my new ’go to’ 🙏🏻😀🍁
awe... thank you and thank you for your kind words about my son, prayers to you as well. Much appreciated.
Dear widow, I 'd like to give you my view being in the same position as you are. As soon as menopause is over, men only see you as "nurse or purse". They haven't got any genuine interest in you anymore. You don't need to believe me, just be watchful and honest to yourself. That being said I wish you the very best future you can obtain. Good luck, God bless!
@@iraschellenberg-kollenstei2247they actually see you the way you see yourself
Thank you for making a difference in my life, making me laugh, making me smile. Thank you for caring and loving. Keep on loving no matter what!!!
You are so kind
You make a difference in my life Johnathon
I love your videos it helps my family members with adhd and autism spectrum understand these social issues to stay safe ❤️
For a future video, I would love to hear about your online dating adventures as a dating coach. Do you find yourself in a sea of superficial jellyfish? Do women tend to have dating and/or relationship expectations of you because of your background? What have you found to be frustrating in the dating game? What is the craziest dating experience you have had? How many valets have you paid for? Lol...
This video was amazing 🤩 🙌
Love your channel.
I agree with you with a lot . Fact is a child predator is more incline to go after a child with no male or father figure around. A man today who preys on women goes after your vulnerability and later uses it against you. If a man truly ignores your pains or stressor goes straight to how hey let's have fun is out for himself. The credit thing is yes a critical question. I have learned all to believe everything your saying by being played and the heartache was I TRULY THOUGHT I WAS SMARTER MORE INTELLIGENT, I worked in a federal penitentiary volunteered for domestic violence. Believe me it can happen to anyone, I thought I was smarter now wow 100,000 taken from me. Now ladies gaurd yourself with redflags . Your gut never ever lies. You can never be too careful. God bless
I LOVE BEING SINGLE....A MAN CAN STAY IN HIS HOUSE AND I'LL STAY IN MINE....NO MAN WILL TAKE WHAT I WORKED SO HARD TO GET....MY OWN HOME ,,,,MY OWN BANK ACCOUNT......HE WILL NEVER GET HIS HANDS ON MY BEAUTIFUL THING'S.....THIS IS MY LIFE DONE MY WAY.
You are awesome Jonathan!
Sinking in and spot on.
Dear Jonathon, thank you so much for sharing such an important knowledge and wisdom! Everything resonates so much and is so helpful! Heartfelt Gratitude to you! 🙏🌷😊
You are so welcome
Amen , love this , and lot of shit going on you are so correct , thank you ❤
Perfect advice, like ways. Thank you 🙏
Glad it was helpful!
I love your word contrarian!I am too.you speak my language so I'm confident in your advise.hope I get my man.keep it coming. Thankyou from the bottom of my heart!
Emotional maturity is KEY♡
Good content!
Glad you think so!
Hi you're awesome..u just popped up and i tbought a lot of you. Sorry for your loss of Connor. You're doing great and God Bless you. Ally
I love your energy and appreciate how open you are. I’m married, but always want to know how to make my relationship better. Bye!
Thank you. I've been a therapist for 45 years. Keep it up.
Thank you, I will
I need to read these books and continue to listen to your wisdom
I understand the feeling you had unexpected when you mentioned children that you lost. I've lost three children to different reasons. Illness and accident. I have five other children that help, that help accept it. One was an identical twin. It was very difficult for him because they were always together.
Sending you hugs
I simply adore you as you remind me of a brother who guides to add more value and invest in a deeper relationship
Thanks so much for the wonderful work you are doing.
I find this an interesting topic. I'm sorry for your loss. I too have. But you are right in what you are saying
Spot on, brother!