If you continue in a dysfunctional relationship it will deplete you physically, mentally, financially and spiritually ..I am still trying to heal cause I stayed too long....
I've come to realize it's both actions and words. If someone starts acting loving towards you and it's out of their character to be loving, and they don't use their words to tell you why they have suddenly changed their behavior, it's going to feel like manipulation. Maybe if trust is rebuilt over time the words won't need to accompany the actions every time; i.e., eventually just receiving the flowers might be loving enough, but at first they will need to also explain why they gave the flowers. I personally hate receiving store-bought flowers 😂
I have to disagree with you there. Love does conquer all. But it's self-love and enough love for the other person to know when to walk away. Self love and self respect makes a world of difference, especially when you're making an active effort to love yourself and others as much as our creator does. Love is not enough to keep people together- it takes unconditional love and compassion in action. It's abusive and destructive to stay with someone when you know that one or both of you aren't growing in healthy love together. True love means you know when it's time to walk away and allow each other to find the right person to be with- that's how love conquers all.
Dang this hit me hard 😢 I just left a relationship where I was crazy in love with him, but his mood swings and controlling behavior were sucking the joy out of me. It hurts so much to leave someone you still love. On day 6 now. Lord give me strength.
@@followmylead100814 years here 🙇🏽♀️…. And it’s been 2 years and we still are invested and involved but not actually together… let me be y’all example of what not to do to heal… cut it off completely or you can be sucked back in, stuck & holding on to nothing. All the while turning down dates or being approached because you feel like your still in a relationship, which can lead you to be Held back. Yeah I get what I’m saying is a oxymoron but again, I’ll be an example of what NOT to do in trying to heal a broken heart or past,
This is the thing for me too… a beautiful person I have so much love for why can’t we still know each other 😢like how can you just forget abt a person that became your everything
When you KNOW you are NOT being loved. When you feel USED. When the relationship stops you from achieving your goals. When you can't sleep peacefully dating that person. When you ask YOURSELF this question..how did I get myself into this situation or WHAT am I doing? When you feel trapped guilty or scared to leave them. Run! Lie and say you are broke or sick and see if they flee. When they flee...praise God you've been set free!🖤
@@joniajohn4716 One time I told a toxic mofo that I lost my GOOD job and said I could only pay my rent and car payment for one more month because my (already dead) grandfather needed surgery and I had to give him ALL of my savings so I was gonna sell my bad ezz red sports car to get a cash clonker and go get a job as a waitress to earn quick cash until I find a new job and he was GONE GONE! I was so relieved 😌
Exactly what I said when I left! I told him. I love you. I might always love you, but I love myself more and because of that I have to do what's best for me. And I walked away never to look back this time!!
Learned the hard way that love is not enough. Loved my ex-husband dearly, but we did not have staying power. Not enough in common. We had different values, upbringing, cultures, lifestyles... etc down to toothpaste and soap.
AMEN!!! After 18 years of marriage, I had to end it. I am a people pleaser but your completely right, I gave and gave!! And I lost myself. NEVER AGAIN!!!!!
Thank you for telling the world the TRUTH ‼️ That's how I love someone and people think I'm CRAZY 🙏🏼 Its easy for me to detach emotionally by nature. Yes, I'm truly an AQUARIAN ♒ and PROUD to be one ☺️
when they don't care if you are alive or dead, it is time to go. As a result of their behavior, you start to feel numb, rresentful or if you no longet are effected by anything they do good or bad, it is time to go.
Amen Amen 🙏🏾 that's true love when you can let someone go when you're not growing with them, and still want the best life for them. Love don't Love nobody, Love thyself ❤️
No truer words have ever been spoken. I had to learn that 💯 and walk away from a 10 year ➕️ relationship. I was drained and it wasn't functional, no longer pouring into each other.
I loved your response, and I agree whole heartily, that's why I don't understand how people can say they love someone to death one day and soon as it over, it becomes hate.
The 2 men I left I loved them. It was the love I lost for myself that made me walk away. My love for me is the most important and when I meet someone that doesn’t love me like I do then I leave.
Loved him and still do! He was unable to make decisions, thus I felt like the only adult in the room and so many other things. He is a phenomenal person but needed to be forced to grow. At the time leaving him was the only way to make him self reliant. He was hurt at the time but sees it all clearly now.
Love is not enough simply because you can love anyone if you spend time with them and build a bond with them. But you cannot have a functional and healthy relationship with everyone.
Thank you for breaking it down for folks. Even if you love them, do you love you more? We have to understand if that person is not adding and multiplying in areas of your life, them they are subtracting and dividing, like you said "time to GO!!!!"
You can want someone to be healthy, get therapy, be happy in a relationship with someone else...it was time to go, regardless of loving that person for damn sure! I was told "you are giving up"/"you are giving up on me". I was giving more and had been depleted. I was tired, I was done...it wasn't healthy for ME. Ya'll be safe out there.
Faaaaacts! I was holding on for dear life to this man. I would wait til I was fed up to leave and then I would think about it later and go back because I still loved him. I still love him but I love me more and I could grow in that relationship.
Its not easy to let go. You will let go when your mind and heart on the same page. When you made up your mind and your heart is align with that. There's so much we can take but When you have had enough, you will let go
Facts... sometimes love is not enough....I hate I waited so long to figure it out...drained..depleted....defeated. You can't fix anyone else you can only fix you....on my way to separation ❤
I'm just coming out of a relationship with someone I've been in a relationship with for 4 years and as much as it hurts, I'm happy for him and hope he finds happiness with someone else because it has to be healthy, functional and peaceful for me to stay in. You don't have to hate your ex, you can be friends and still be fulfilled and happy. It's called growth.
If you continue in a dysfunctional relationship it will deplete you physically, mentally, financially and spiritually ..I am still trying to heal cause I stayed too long....
Yep! Been there, done that!
Yep me too. Stayed way too long.
Say that again!
Going through it now. Man made me lose everything. Me thinking I was the problem.
May I ask you how did your relationship finally come to an end?
👏👏👏Love is not a word, love is an action. It must be shown or it's worthless.
I've come to realize it's both actions and words. If someone starts acting loving towards you and it's out of their character to be loving, and they don't use their words to tell you why they have suddenly changed their behavior, it's going to feel like manipulation. Maybe if trust is rebuilt over time the words won't need to accompany the actions every time; i.e., eventually just receiving the flowers might be loving enough, but at first they will need to also explain why they gave the flowers. I personally hate receiving store-bought flowers 😂
Right so if you not in my life to express my love to then it's a lie to say you love people that you don't spend energy with
Is it healthy, functional, and does it pour into you? If no, Time To Go! Truthful encouragement.
Run
💯💯💯💯💯
❤❤❤❤so true
And still leave
Preach it!!!
Put this on a billboard for the collective to see! Love does not conquer all! Love doesn't cure a toxic spirit.
Really? I think otherwise ❤
Hello beautiful
I have to disagree with you there. Love does conquer all. But it's self-love and enough love for the other person to know when to walk away. Self love and self respect makes a world of difference, especially when you're making an active effort to love yourself and others as much as our creator does. Love is not enough to keep people together- it takes unconditional love and compassion in action. It's abusive and destructive to stay with someone when you know that one or both of you aren't growing in healthy love together. True love means you know when it's time to walk away and allow each other to find the right person to be with- that's how love conquers all.
Dang this hit me hard 😢 I just left a relationship where I was crazy in love with him, but his mood swings and controlling behavior were sucking the joy out of me. It hurts so much to leave someone you still love. On day 6 now. Lord give me strength.
Going through the same thing,Day 6,,,,keep trusting and believing God he will see us through this!!!!
Day1 for me and it hurts real bad to see 13 years brought me to this point. My heart is still beating fast 🤦🏾♂️
You will be fine - been there - every time you think of going back- remember how he made you feel !
@@followmylead100814 years here 🙇🏽♀️…. And it’s been 2 years and we still are invested and involved but not actually together… let me be y’all example of what not to do to heal… cut it off completely or you can be sucked back in, stuck & holding on to nothing. All the while turning down dates or being approached because you feel like your still in a relationship, which can lead you to be Held back. Yeah I get what I’m saying is a oxymoron but again, I’ll be an example of what NOT to do in trying to heal a broken heart or past,
Day 9 for me and was with him 13 years on and off because of love and it didn’t get me no where but heart broken 💔 now I’m trying to find myself
Facts this is so true! Reciprocation and communication is a must to keep the relationship thriving.😍❤️💯
It's time to go when she/he doesn't respect you & your feelings, the relationship is unhealthy, you're unhappy more than you are happy.
Tina said it Best, "what's love got to do with it "😂😂😂
Most people don’t want to accept and realize that “Just Love” does not sustain a relationship. It takes more than love! 😮
Mic drop
@mystibleu9851 It's difficult for many people to accept that it's not genuine love either in regard to both parties. 😢
Right! And I’ll never understand that
Preach
The problem is we still want them in our lives and there is no pill to stop that feeling. It’s hard to want someone else when you already want someone
This is the thing for me too… a beautiful person I have so much love for why can’t we still know each other 😢like how can you just forget abt a person that became your everything
When you KNOW you are NOT being loved. When you feel USED. When the relationship stops you from achieving your goals. When you can't sleep peacefully dating that person. When you ask YOURSELF this question..how did I get myself into this situation or WHAT am I doing? When you feel trapped guilty or scared to leave them. Run! Lie and say you are broke or sick and see if they flee. When they flee...praise God you've been set free!🖤
I concur with you
@@joniajohn4716 One time I told a toxic mofo that I lost my GOOD job and said I could only pay my rent and car payment for one more month because my (already dead) grandfather needed surgery and I had to give him ALL of my savings so I was gonna sell my bad ezz red sports car to get a cash clonker and go get a job as a waitress to earn quick cash until I find a new job and he was GONE GONE! I was so relieved 😌
@@MM-fc2giwhewwwwwww
I BELIEVE THIS IS WAS JUST GETTING WORSER AND WORSER THREW OUT TIME!! i felt like i was in jail 😢
A wise man once told me just because you love somebody doesn’t mean they’re the best thing for you….. Thanks Dad!!!
Yassssss. Thats exactly whatbmy daddy said to me also. Daddy Girl. 🦋🤗✨️
When u continue to reach out to a person about certain situations that bother or need to be worked on and nothing changes. It’s time to move on.
Hellooo.. Story of my life at the moment
Amen Ace. Love isn’t the end all, be all and ppl forget that. If it’s not healthy and bringing you peace, it’s not worth the cost
If it's not progressing... its dying 😢 because nothing stays the same
Sometimes it's just enough to maintain
@INCORRUPTIBLE WORD
Maintaining more like just settling
Yep… stagnant… no growth.. no progression..
It's called Tough Love ppl .... You can love at a distance with enabling them .... ❤
Exactly what I said when I left! I told him. I love you. I might always love you, but I love myself more and because of that I have to do what's best for me. And I walked away never to look back this time!!
YAAAAAAAAAAS!! I did the EXACT SAME.
I even noticed myself, breathing differently. God is sooooooo, good. ✨️🤗🤗
Is the best feeling ever. Magic happens when you finally pick yourself. Magic happened!
FACTS. Do it OVER THERE! Thank you King.
Its very difficult to leave someone you love but you know the relationship is dysfunctional and unhealthy..
Been there😢
mannnnnnn it’s so dreadfullyhard
Help me. I'm currently there right now
My current situation 💔
That is the main reason to leave it does not feel right PERIOD
#truth 🎉 Thank you. Timing is impeccable. I’ll be putting this in my new journey folder. 3 days post break up.
You can love someone and not like anything about them.
Amen ❤❤❤
Indeed !!!
That's a word!!! Truth💯
💯 Oh now that's Truth!!
That's a WORD do you hear me!!!! 👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿🙌🏿🙌🏿🙌🏿🙌🏿
Absolutely right. When love or being loving is no longer being served remove yourself from the table.
Learned the hard way that love is not enough. Loved my ex-husband dearly, but we did not have staying power. Not enough in common. We had different values, upbringing, cultures, lifestyles... etc down to toothpaste and soap.
This is me at the moment. Also different education and very different incomes.
Wow I think I need to leave.. but I am scared.
100% true. Nothing else need be said!!!!
Amen. What's love got to do with it. TINA SAID IT BEST. Love them at a distance 💕
AMEN!!! After 18 years of marriage, I had to end it. I am a people pleaser but your completely right, I gave and gave!! And I lost myself. NEVER AGAIN!!!!!
Thank you for telling the world the TRUTH ‼️ That's how I love someone and people think I'm CRAZY 🙏🏼 Its easy for me to detach emotionally by nature. Yes, I'm truly an AQUARIAN ♒ and PROUD to be one ☺️
Right on!!! Ace always speaks facts!!❤❤❤
when they don't care if you are alive or dead, it is time to go.
As a result of their behavior, you start to feel numb, rresentful or if you no longet are effected by anything they do good or bad, it is time to go.
I love how articulate he is when expressing his opinions, it’s almost poetic ❤️
That’s right the goal is healthy love (reciprocal) 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽
Hi dear how are you doing
I agree with all he said and to add... when you begin to question your relationship or that person, it is time.
Loving the wrong person doesn't have to be a life sentence
Amen Amen 🙏🏾 that's true love when you can let someone go when you're not growing with them, and still want the best life for them. Love don't Love nobody, Love thyself ❤️
For real though 💯, my dad used to tell me, sometimes loving means leaving 🤔
Absolutely
True facts about this😢🤦🏼♀️
Let go and Let GOD!👍👌💯
I hope he keeps this up. This is what our community needs!
No truer words have ever been spoken. I had to learn that 💯 and walk away from a 10 year ➕️ relationship. I was drained and it wasn't functional, no longer pouring into each other.
REAL TALK and RAW TRUTH
I loved your response, and I agree whole heartily, that's why I don't understand how people can say they love someone to death one day and soon as it over, it becomes hate.
God I love this man. He has helped me so much ❤❤❤❤❤
This is Absolutely Correct !!!True Facts👍
The 2 men I left I loved them. It was the love I lost for myself that made me walk away. My love for me is the most important and when I meet someone that doesn’t love me like I do then I leave.
This 😢
@@MeeMeeG it’s hard but losing myself is my biggest fear. It gets better honey xx
Loved him and still do! He was unable to make decisions, thus I felt like the only adult in the room and so many other things. He is a phenomenal person but needed to be forced to grow. At the time leaving him was the only way to make him self reliant. He was hurt at the time but sees it all clearly now.
Is one thing to be blindsided but when a person trys to play you right in your face. Boy Bye
100❤
That's solid facts what Ace stated!!!
Love is not enough simply because you can love anyone if you spend time with them and build a bond with them. But you cannot have a functional and healthy relationship with everyone.
Thank you so much I needed to hear it this. I never looked at it this way but this is exactly true this is what I am going through.
Trust Is Gone ... 😊 Let' Go and Let God''. ❤
It’s always loyalty over love. I love people that I will never be with again.
I am not understanding what you are saying. Can you explain further, please?
He is amazing! He needs a larger platform..he speaks the truth ❤❤
When I start singing Epiphany by Chrisette Michele to myself, it's time to go.
😂
Amen, preach it Brother 🙏🏼
Right and it’s ok to say this just isn’t for me
💯
Thank you for breaking it down for folks. Even if you love them, do you love you more? We have to understand if that person is not adding and multiplying in areas of your life, them they are subtracting and dividing, like you said "time to GO!!!!"
Count up the cost before having 5 kids and leaving.
Excellent advice for Someone experience neglect Or Abuse 🙏
excellent, excellent, excellent!!!
You can want someone to be healthy, get therapy, be happy in a relationship with someone else...it was time to go, regardless of loving that person for damn sure! I was told "you are giving up"/"you are giving up on me". I was giving more and had been depleted. I was tired, I was done...it wasn't healthy for ME. Ya'll be safe out there.
Man I needed to hear this!
So true Ace. Hard but you're 100% right!!!
that part! you can go be happy w someone else just leave me alone
I needed to hear this! Set me Free! 🙏
When you have to ask a question like that then you know you should have been left, and that you're fed up way before now.
Your preaching out here with this 🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️👏🏽🙌🏽❤
Word! I just realized that after 30 years of marriage.
Yes. A healthy relationship needs two people who care about each other to pour into each other.
When her voice broke at the end of her question, so did my heart. You could hear her pain. I hope she finds the healing and love that she deserves. ❤
I could hear the pain in her voice also, I pray she leaves that person
Hello beautiful
Excellent wisdom right there!
Amen!
Definitely true word. Blessed always in the mighty name of Jesus 🙏
Absolutely
PERIOD. IT WILL ALSO HELP YOU TO HEAL🙏🙏🙏
when he's sent you to the ER for your 1st black eye and broke arm, ....not 8 babies and 9 er visits later..love is never enough
Thats not love . ..not on his end anyway
SWEEEEEAAAAARRRRRR 👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿 I am living this exact sentiment RIGHT NOW 🤞🏿🙌🏿🙌🏿🙌🏿🙌🏿🙌🏿... No liea detected. I love her... From over here 😂😂😂😂😂
Everyone always running. Sit down, talk to each other and work for what you want out of a relationship
Faaaaacts! I was holding on for dear life to this man. I would wait til I was fed up to leave and then I would think about it later and go back because I still loved him. I still love him but I love me more and I could grow in that relationship.
Very true
Yep he's absolutely right...what's love got to do with it if the relationship is depleting you? Love is supposed to feed and heal.the relationship ❤
Yes!
The sweetest words I ever heard from a man.
Amen 🙏 truth hurts but we're all here for the same reason 💔
If it is not healthy or functional, then you know this rest!!!!!! Real Talk 💯!!!!!!
AMEN, Thank you Sir!! 💯 🙏
Best Message📝 for The Day💯
Its not easy to let go. You will let go when your mind and heart on the same page. When you made up your mind and your heart is align with that. There's so much we can take but When you have had enough, you will let go
Preach!!!!! More ppl need to realize that.
Amen. It hurts to stay with a toxic person.
AMEN BROTHER! 👏🏾
Amen!!!! Great message. ❤
100% right ❤❤❤ Amen
Amen brother amen 🙏 time to go asap no love no relationship yes sirr is time to go exactly 💯
Especially RELIGIOUS jokers 🤦🏾♀️
YES' it's time to go, TO little TO late
I Affirm Agree and receive this
Right ON 👍 Yes Sir
So Truthfullness,True Truthfullness it Works,For The Truth is and ALL WAYS The Light of A Matter of The Heart.❤
This is the best I have heard for relationship advice.❤
Thank you, I just went through this, so painful when he says but I love you
Totally agreed with your massage.❤❤
Facts... sometimes love is not enough....I hate I waited so long to figure it out...drained..depleted....defeated. You can't fix anyone else you can only fix you....on my way to separation ❤
I'm just coming out of a relationship with someone I've been in a relationship with for 4 years and as much as it hurts, I'm happy for him and hope he finds happiness with someone else because it has to be healthy, functional and peaceful for me to stay in. You don't have to hate your ex, you can be friends and still be fulfilled and happy. It's called growth.
Love it. But easier said than done when your emotions are not involved