This was one of the hardest things I’ve watched on Rogan. I have high functioning autism and I am very sensitive and loving, so naturally my parents neglected me when I needed to be cared for. I am almost 50 years old now and I’m just starting to understand that the things my parents tried to put on me were actually their issues, not mine.
I think I’m the same, I was rejected at birth by my mother, I think it’s now I’m only coming to realise the damage that may have been done. I’m 51 and my whole life I’ve lived in a fight or flight response
Correct, exactly. One of the 1st things I've learned in therapy was #Projection . To sum it up- However ANY individual is feeling on the inside will naturally come outward in their emotions, speech, language, and actions. The human species must evolve by learning to NOT TAKE THINGS PERSONALLY, when it comes to judging another individual's Character.
That's the case with everyone, everyone's parents gaslight them at some point. You're too old to start resenting your deceased parents, let it go, you're not a victim.
I recently got diognoised at 27 with adhd, i never thought my child hood was bad because i knew so many people who had it worse, but listening to this im realising i was extremely stressed all the time because of my parents and i was alone 99 percent of the time. Damn.
It's all to do with maternal nurturing in the end, but we can't blame the parents. They probably did what they could, with the knowledge they had ,at the time. Good Luck 👍 👵🤯🧞♂️🫂🤞☮🙏🏻🥰
@@susancarolan153 when two people DECIDE to create another life and treat him/her poorly, they absolutely deserve blame. Some really don't do their best at all. Not sure what kind of fairy tale world you're living in, but you're dead wrong on that front.
@@thatguy4885 You need to exercise amigo.. run, cycle, badminton,, wotever... thats how you focus your energy, keep away from things and people that have a negative effect on your life,, take a time out by puttin headphones on listen to tunes or a book or a lecture so your brain can get a rest from repetition at key times of the day you feel it more... you have to work hard at relaxing- exercise + nature + good conversation= happiness.......... if you tune out at work its time for a new job! Awe 'Ra Best Mate! 🤘💀🤘
Im 25 and got diagnosed with ADHD when i was 11 or 12. A psychiatrist prescribed me with ritalin 400mg. It was crazy strong and would make me dizzy and nauseous. I decided to not take it anymore. Nowadays i can see that they where trying to control me, and the could achieve this making me feel victimized that i had a mental issue that would make me different. I dropped out of 3 college careers. At 22 i finally found what i love to do, and i have so much focus when im learning it. Im a full time car mechanic now. And im so happy that i kept so much focus naturally through my apprentice years, and i keep learning every day. I learned to live with it and remind myself constantly to be present and not in the clouds. Its just a matter of what catches your attention. The traditional school got old now hopefully there will be better schooling in the future.
Yo fam I’m a small content creator, and I make a variety of entertaining reactions, vlogs, and a range of other content and I’m still working on quality but I guarantee you will find something you will enjoy!🙏🏾❤
I'm diagnosed with ADD and when I got older I realized that with sounds and noises. When it's too loud (too stressfull) I started to tune out in the past years
I think Joe’s interpretation of what they’ve labeled “anxiety” is pretty standardised, for those who’ve never really been cursed with it. Anxiety isn’t being concerned generally with how the future might pan out, or being in a state of nervous anticipation of something happening. It’s the feeling of mortal dread, in the pit of your stomach, every day, despite no rational reasoning. It’s that feeling right as the rollercoaster tips, that turns your whole body inside out. For no rational reason. It’s sweating uncontrollably, twitching or itching like a mother fucker. For no apparent reason other than you’re outside amongst people. It’s constantly feeling like a family member is going to die every time they step out the house, despite rationally knowing it’s extremely unlikely. It’s a chronic and very debilitating issue that no one who’s had experiences with it, would describe as a normal part of life. It turns people into fantastic actors though. Sending good vibes to anyone else trying to work past that shit every day just to leave the house. 👊🏻
You just explained me to a T . When I first wake up in the morning it is the first thing I feel . I dont even have time to think about anything . Its already there .
@@robbosuave6165 I feel you Robbo. I know that feeling well. You have to take it on though, look it in the face, know what it is, know it’s not there by choice. I treat it like an allergy, or a migraine. When it’s there, it’s torturous, but you can take it on. There’s a few things I find really helps; multiple cold showers a day, exercise, like intense, empty the tank exercise. Cut out alcohol when it’s bad, and caffeine too, they’re like throwing petrol on a fire. Eat cleanly, drink loads of water, and get a journal and empty your soul into it every morning. Breathing techniques are meant to be good, but I haven’t figured them out yet. Be well mate, it can be better 👍
I think what Joe is trying to say is everyone believes their anxiety is worse then everyone else’s. Sure there are people with little to no anxiety but from what I have seen by talking to people and reading hundreds of thousands of comments is that either 80% of the population has an anxiety disorder or that maybe everyone has anxiety and a lot of people have it pretty bad. We all think crazy thoughts!! But what do you do with those thoughts. I would be considered a person with an anxiety disorder but I refuse to let my thoughts control me, I will fight those feelings and thoughts and be sure to not entertain them even in the slightest way because they grow bigger quickly if you even give them a second thought. Take captive every thought, you are in control! I want to learn to manage my own mind and not rely on medication to numb me
And then when talking to certain people about it, they give their 2 cents in the form of "Dude it's all in your head, you just gotta believe in yourself" k thanks 😂
I got diagnosed with ADHD when I was a kid and ended up on Ritalin but it didn’t help at all in fact it made me a more aggressive and moody child who ended expelled from schools and eventually I ended up in youth detention and prison. My mum was 17 when she had me and was a single mum for the most part and I really don’t blame my mum in the sense that she was a kid herself but now I’m starting to feel the lack of a strong male role model on top of having a young mum who clearly wasn’t ready and spent more time talking to her friends and getting babysitters so she could party which always ended up with me playing by myself and now i realise I was just a sensitive kid who would of benefitted from a strong family unit who were ready for parenthood. This is why these days with my children I always put emphasis on how much attention I show them because wether a parent likes it or not kids need a lot of attention, time and love if they’re going to succeed in this world. I’m like 38 now and look back at all the years wasted due to me not being able to handle my emotions properly but there’s always hope to better yourself and try not to make the same mistakes your parents might of made. Learning from our bad experiences then turning the bad into something positive for others is how i can look back and know that the shit I went through wasn’t all in vain.
Sounds like you had too high a dose and Methylphendidate was not the right med for you. And I wrote a longer comment somewhere here in the new ones and explained my stance to this video. Sadly, it's not a positive one. I recommend info from actual people researching it etc. (Dr. Faraone, who has it, Dr. Hallowell who has it as well and Dr. Barkely who lost 2 of his relatives/his brother due to it and did the most research). It's also NOT just about medication and medicating people to become worker bees. I wish he also taked about neurotransmitters etc. So much of this is harmful and not empowering. And trauma can make ADHD etc. worse, but doesn't generally cause it. I got mine from oxygen deprivation at birst or from my enlarged tonsils, afaik. Then there's other stuff that can cause it or even traumatic brain injuries can cause those symptoms. It's all due to neurotransmitter issues, the frontal lobe, basal ganglia and some other stuff. I wish that would've been said ...
Sorry you went through all of that. And it pretty much sums up what he said about adhd being environmental, than being a disease etc. because you were ignored as a child that’s how you coped sue to the emotional disparity you were thrown into. I wouldn’t feel bad about it. It’s not your fault. But just continue to grow as a human being and break cycles. That’s the best thing you can for yourself and those around you. I have to break my own as well.
You have to feel to heal. Develop curiosity of what happening to you: body sensations, thoughts, feelings and beliefs. Here are some tools to help: journaling (free), meditation, spending time in nature/with animals, breath work, ethical body workers, EMDR, fasting, therapy with a sane/effective therapist, micro-dosing psychedelics, art therapy, dance therapy, music/shamanic drumming, etc.
I’m 41 and was diagnosed with ADD/ADHD in the late eighties, then in my early teens depression and anxiety were added to the list. All of this made a lot of sense to me. The puzzle pieces definitely seem to fit. With this new information I feel some hope again. Rabbit hole, here I come! Thank you Joe and Dr. Mate! ❤
You have to feel to heal. Develop curiosity of what happening to you: body sensations, thoughts, feelings and beliefs. Here are some tools to help: journaling (free), meditation/prayer, spending time in nature/with animals, breath work, ethical body workers, EMDR, fasting, therapy with a sane/effective therapist, micro-dosing psychedelics, art therapy, dance therapy, music/shamanic drumming, etc.
But notice how he explained his whole theory on ADHD by basing it on his personal experience with how ADHD effects himself? You might want to second guess what this person's motives are and do your own research before you take his theory as truth. I also have ADHD, I was diagnosed 20 years ago. I haven't done enough research myself, but I found that a great source of information for me was How to ADHD. The girl that runs it does a lot of research and her information comes from legitimate scientific studies.
Gabor Mate is probably my favourite human being in this galaxy. He has such a calm and warm demeanor and because he has an extremely open mind completely free of hubris and arrogance, he's been able to really get in touch with the things that make us who and what we are. He understands the healing nature of plants and also understands that we are spiritual beings deeply interconnected to each other and everything else too. He's brilliant and sincere and I would encourage anyone to look deeper into his past work. A true scholar and authentic healer and just a fine human being in general. Love you Gabor.
His explanation makes sense for me a person with social anxiety. As a kid I had a lot of stress put on me. I couldn't run away or fight back so what I did is shut down and not say anything. Now whenever I'm put under social stress I shut down and don't talk. On top of that people look at you weird when you shutdown, so now you are expecting negative feedback from your peers so you get even more anxious.
Your experience is very similar to mine. Unfortunately right now as an adult when I'm under heavy stressed not only that I shut down and couldn't talk, but also am paralyzed. I don't even know how to fix this.
I’ve never heard a better description of what I experienced. I’ve known for a long time that I don’t want to be present or tuned in because I find life painful, but haven’t known what to do about it. I’ve very very slowly learned to tune back in through meditation and emotional regulation techniques. But I wasn’t really sure why that worked or why I’m sometimes still unable to focus and sometimes I’m fine. It’s like learning that looking at the world through squinted eyes makes it less ugly. So you never stop. My middle son has similar issues, and I was in the worst of my mental stability when he was a baby. I feel awful. And I do tend to snap at him because his issues and my issues can compound so easily. This perspective is so helpful. I do ok with him sometimes because I empathize, but I’m not tolerating failing him anymore. He’s the sweetest kid. He doesn’t deserve to go through what I went through. Both my parents were mentally ill. My Mom had severe postpartum depression and was extremely anxious in a nonproductive way. She has told me that sometimes she just left me when I was crying because she was afraid she’d hurt me and that’s the best she could do for me. My Dad was always depressed. It makes so much sense. It is such a better description to say I am hyper sensitive (I am) and was never given appropriate skills to cope. I had to make it up on my own.
If I may, no one thinks or maybe notices, but many parent teacher conferences, boards, and on a national scale been talked about by the greatest minds in the field of education. Still to this day, books are absolutely the fundemental knowledge document is to an individual. Over technology, visuals are good learning examples on a chalk board yes, but video lectures on a screen or a radio lecture (can't see it or know whom the person is) as teachers are present and the beacon on questions answered, and have the steps to walk anyone in their presents through what they know and trained and studied themselves no different, to a masterful level as thus, their way of life, living and passion, is a much better resource. Reading is focus, quiet, an alone, absolute solitude for the mind and it's knowledge document it can study and focus on. Words in a page in black also for the reason of, it's less straining on the eyes. Books are easy to pause and pick back up where you left off when a distraction happens anyways. Our brains and eyes are overstimulated to a complacent annoyance with technology advertised and pushed at us all the time, radio and TV no different in a different means. You get the full 100% nothing left out, just as the teacher themselves cover to cover started and finished in it's totality, no skipping ahead or waiting for ads or anxiety marketed emotions of a commercial either, just turn the page is all. Library's are even provided with the environment at school too to focus and maybe not be alone either if that's a preference. It's all been thought of and perfected by people before us that we enjoy. Trust me it works, learned the hard way, but it's the truth.
I absolutely love Gabor Mate's work. His book "When the Body Says NO" opened my eyes when I was in my early 20's. It validated so much about my upbringing and life circumstances. I had to be "tough" and not express or have needs because my parents were so so stressed and struggling. My body paid the price of this denial and I developed stage 2 adrenal fatigue at age 25. I spent years trying to heal my body from the stacked layers of post traumatic stress. I love my family and I sympathize with their own circumstances but it feels liberating to acknowledge that my parents did their best but it wasn't the best for me.
The self awareness in your words…I am in absolute awe. I had a similar experience. I became an adult at the age of 10. I had to be the mother to my own Mom and then my younger brother and finally my baby sister. Even though there is so much shared trauma caused by the monster of my mothers second husband and my narcissistic mother, to this day I am STILL the only one that loves them unconditionally even though it’s unrequited.
It's good to share stuff. Being authentic is a hallmark of strength. I 'd say you are marking your territory. Almost reclaiming the past and healing surviving thriving and being yourself and expressing it to the world. I am proud of you.
Reading Mate's book--Scattered Minds---changed my life. I've been diagnosed with ADD for all my life. Taken meds more a majority of my years on this earth. Always told I was too sensitive, disobedient, distractible, and in school had low behavior grades. I wish my parents read this book when I was young. I could of learned that having ADD is like having a super hero ability of being well-attuned to other peoples feelings as well as mine. Today, I'm a licensed therapist and great at what I do because of my ADD.
Yo fam I’m a small content creator, and I make a variety of entertaining reactions, vlogs, and a range of other content and I’m still working on quality but I guarantee you will find something you will enjoy!🙏🏾❤
11:38 a cry for help. Yes i have always scored super high on tests in school perfect scores but never did my homework and was bored in class a lot and would act up. Looking back i can see it was a coping mechanism for me because that was wasting my time and i was confused about why i was there etc... but when i had a good math teacher who was engaging i was perfect student very quiet. But now that im older i know that there was nothing wrong with me it was bad schools teachers and parents etc... no one actually sat down and talked to me and asked me. They would lecture and berate me even though i had perfect scores when it actually mattered. Those people will be judged by God one day...
Congrats on your success, Dave. To have made it out through all of it while looking back and never really having an answer for "where were my parents during all of this" is something that I think makes you a stronger person in the end.
I already started reading Mate’s new book, “The Myth of Normal.” This man is channeling such a necessary and incredibly transformative energy which is to help us heal ourselves. He synthesizes the best minds, the research, as well as our deepest traditions and cultural roots in showing us that suffering and despair can be redirected to a place of hope and prosperity for all. I’m so grateful for people like him. 🙏
Ever since medicine became a business instead of a service people got more sick and dependent on drugs. The work Gabor is doing is spectacular, God bless him. Thank you for giving us the understanding of how our bodies and minds works back. 🙏
The issue here is ADHD isn't a disease, it's just a quirk some people have The issue is not the drugs, but the way those drugs are used ADHD doesn't need a fix, but using drugs mimics the way an otherwise normal brain could function I guess my point here is that drugs do work, it just depends on how they're used. Like depression. Depression needs drugs because the brain is not working right ADHD on the other hand is not a deficiency but a quirk. It's all case by case. Nothing general.
@@kisu_ve625 so even if it can be done without drugs, forget the effort, take them and end up dependant and fucked by side effects? I see, now I understand
I was diagnosed with adhd at a young age and watching this made me pretty emotional; It affects my memory,emotional availability,relations and even my morality because I've noticed that some of the sociopathic tendencies I've picked up from my father and then some of the narcissistic aspects from my mother. Often times I act cold and very distant as a way coping mechanism on top of my brain adopting a very "out of sight, out of mind" mentality. It leeches to objects I put down and spans all the way to names or even entire people out of fear of emotional harm. I confide in my own company so much that for a very long time I wasn't aware I lost all my acquaintances, even now I feel the people I talk to were added as a masquerade of normalcy.
I love how Gabor addressed the risk of raising over-indulgent children argument with the bear cub example. Makes you realize that when a child is distressed they need to be shown what to do in that situation, whatever it may be, and demonstrate patience. Sadly, showing children patience can be really difficult, especially if you haven't received it yourself as a kid, but it's something we can work on. What a great interview.
Disciplinse is becoming not only less emphasized, it's also being more and more discouraged as the "do whatever makes you happy" and "you're perfect just the way you are" positivity obsessions that teachers and parents apply to everything became/becomes more mainstream. There's a huge lack of discernment, nuance and contextual evaluation missing from the culture of our nation today. Throw in accountability and patience, of course.
@@nathanmcdowell4731 I get you I believe that it is important to be stern with children, but being neglectful is not the way to go about parenting. If your child throws tantrums and acts unpredictably, you're not listening to them. People that are good parents seldom have to worry about their children embarrassing them while maintaining a good bond with love and respect. I don't want to bring in training dogs but there are two ways people train their dogs, one way is being stern and consistent, and the other is abuse. You know what I mean?
@@zeenea_c yes, you're exactly right. That's the nature of true love, not some fairytale happily ever after or accepting and excusing character flaws, true love has a stoicism and bravery that remains level headed while directly addressing misbehavior and explores the pathway(s) with a child that will lead to them processing their impulses or emotions and correcting how they react to them. Too many parents assume innocence of their child out of a false understanding of love and believe they shouldn't be (or at least appear to be) critical, skeptical or suspicious of what they say or have done. A child raised in that environment will become accustomed to being free of scrutiny and accountability, which will leave them unprepared to accept it when they are confronted by other authority figures . These types of parents often defend and downplay their misbehavior, reassuring their child once they are alone together that the consequences or punishments are unfair and undeserved. I could go on for a while about this, but true love realizes that no one is perfect the way they are and feels driven to help them identify and improve upon the behavior that would make others dislike them. Friends and spouses ought to do the same for their friends and loved ones...calling out lies or adjusting the setting on the vacuum or doing and saying whatever needs to be done or said so that they can become better in every aspect without judging them for falling short sometimes ...
My mother became incredibly overindulgent of my youngest brother after I introduced her to Scattered Minds by Gabor. I think his ideas are great for people and families who lack care and love, but for a mother who already leans in the direction of coddling and helicopter parenting it can be all the validation they need to completely indulge their motherly instincts. My 17 yr old little brother is still sleeping next to my mum and never leaves her property now after having zero life experiences (my mum didn't want to push him to do anything that made him uncomfortable or might traumatise him, as Gabor is always warning us of). I feel partially responsible for introducing his ideas to her. His life is virtually ruined as a result and I will likely be his carer when my mum dies.
I’m 43 and crying. I was diagnosed at 18 and this is the biggest truth I’ve every heard. I have known for years the thoughts and impulses that distract and ruin me are unwanted coping mechanisms from my childhood.
Im 42 and was finally diagnosed last year, my chilhood was destroyed by my parents divorce at 6 years old, I remember ALL OF IT. I cant remember what i did yesterday but that is still like it just happened.
I’m in the middle of the road on this one, medication for my own ADHD has really been an absolute game changer, I wish I’d received a formal diagnoses and medication while I was still in the military as an analyst because I can’t even comprehend what a difference that would have made for my quality of work. But I absolutely will not have my child diagnosed and medicated for it before he’s an adult. Dopamine detox and a very high emphasis on routine and fixed consequences as well as intermittent studying rather than big work blocks has seemed to help exponentially. I hope this input is valuable to someone. Great podcast always 🙌🏻
I was discharged with PTSD and the clarity of mind that stimulant medication gives ME helps me keep myself out of very negative and problematic cyclical thinking
Brilliant conversation 👏 I've been in fight or flight, anxiety all my life, this guy is spot on, my mother was emotionally absent all my life. I'm now trying to heal myself. Rough ass journey & I experience panic attacks, so debilitating.
My friend has been diagnosed with panic and social anxiety disorder. I grew up with this lad, watched him go from a confident young man who spent 7 years in the military to someone that struggles to leave the house. He can’t go shopping on his own and has extremely bad panic attacks. He’s had quite a few panic attacks when I’ve been with him, he even got taken to hospital in an ambulance a few times. It’s horrible seeing the terror on his face when he has a bad one as I know he’s thinking this is it I’m dead. His anxiety is that bad he come out in a rash on his feet and hands mainly and his stomach problems are that bad he passes horrendous amounts of blood, and it’s all because of his anxiety. It’s a terrible thing to have when it is severe. I went into a shop with him last year, 7 in the morning, when it was quiet. He only wanted to buy one thing but the guy kept asking him questions and he just froze and the colour in his face went white and he just stood there frozen, he couldn’t even get his words out to the fella. The guy realised something was wrong and started talking to me asking if my mate was ok. It’s tough to watch a lad I grew up with and loved and respected so much suffer this way.
Same boat as him. Was hospitalized for 3 months and doing better now. Psychotherapy and medication is a good place to start. I don’t believe these guys are talking about these debilitating forms of anxiety and pd. What’s annoying is people won’t know the difference and use this As agency to understand people with serious disorders. War is hell but it can get better, if you have a struggling friend encourage them to go get professional help. Time does not heal these wounds they become mental illness
Ask him to look at a low carb, sugar free diet. That will disrupt the gut-brain disconnect that is a real thing. Fixing the diet even vastly helps autiism. There are a huge number of doctors who understand this now. There are videos about this right here on You Tube.
Being diagnosed ADHD myself I can say without a doubt this man is on to something. I agree that kids pick up on the energy of there parents and if there's alot of stress or violence they learn to tune out I did this exact thing and now I know this I am going to implement practicing with my own son. Holy crap this is a breakthrough
Is it really that hard to learn the difference between “their”, “there” and “they’re”? English is not my native language, i never studied english grammar and i know that shit.
@@Voodoo_Robot roflmao are you just scrolling through flexing on people's grammar in the comment section. What a pity life you must live. God bless you in Jesus Christ's holy name.
This was so refreshing to hear, I've been suspecting that my ADHD is more of a trauma response than a disease for a while now. I got diagnosed at 20 and when I really think about it, pretty much all of my symptoms have some root in my childhood history of abuse and neglect. My inability to finish tasks or stick with interests comes from my father always tearing me down whenever I started something new, my inability to sit still and relax comes from a constant "on guard" vigilance I had to adopt to protect myself from his inconsistent rampages, my inability to focus comes from my mind constantly racing and worrying about what abuse might come next, I could go on. I wish there wasn't such an aggressive disdain towards the idea of ADHD as a trauma response, it seems like the current system wants to sell it as a disease so they can make more money.
I'm a fellow diagnosed adhd myself. My advice is to get on the meds. You must first teach your brain how to think and behave correctly and stimulant medication does that. Trust me. I didn't know what a calm and relaxed mind felt like until I started the meds. Most adults who start on the meds would usually cry after taking it. You will understand finally why you behaved in a certain way your whole life. You will forgive yourself and begin to heal. From there you teach yourself how to continue this new behaviour without the help of medication.
@@IvikosDigital sup bro 23 just started meds 3 weeks ago and I did cry. Dropping out of college once and almost a second time (currently working on my second to last semeste). I have As in everything cause of the meds. I know I’m an intelligent person but if something isn’t interesting to me I can’t make myself do it and as a result have done poorly in school since 4th grade. I finally can dive down into things and use my brain how I want
appreciate watching this, i suffer from severe anxitey and depression, ive not left my house in 3 years because i just have to much fear of leaving my home and even when i try i suffer really bad panic attacks,and suicidal thoughts all the time, need more videos like this!
So glad this subject was discussed. This podcast happened at the most perfect time in my life with my own son. He is 5yo and was diagnosed with cancer at the end of last year at 4yo. He just started kindergarten 3 weeks ago and its been beyond rough. His anxiety about everything now seems like it's leading to ADHD. The stress that me and and his mother have been in the last year is something I cant describe, yet I can only imagine the stress he felt and still feels. We lived in the hospital for 5 months straight in complete isolation and the whole time you try to explain to your child whats happening but a 4yo will never understand cancer so he has no idea why he is being tortured everyday when he has done nothing wrong........ Cancer can suck a dick dude
@@ericharvey7333 thank you he is in remission now thank goodness. Sorry to hear that about your kiddo though. I cant stand seeing these innocent lives having to go through these kinds of things. The floor we were on in St. Jude was the worst experience of my life. Only advice I have for the parents going through these things is dont even try to process it. It's not possible. All you can do is keep your head on straight and just be there for your child
That's intense and very much a hard thing for your family to go through. I find it helps to say that part is over and there is so much future and wonderful things ahead. State of mind and gratitude in the moment is very effective. It's the great moments to look forward to. Keep your child upbeat and inspired. We are what we consume. Try to consume nothing but pure foods, good thoughts,good content. I ask my every night 3 things that were these about today. We never stop dreaming. Children are over stimulated from this complex world of wants and desires. Step by step ,keep it simple.
Yo fam I’m a small content creator, and I make a variety of entertaining reactions, vlogs, and a range of other content and I’m still working on quality but I guarantee you will find something you will enjoy!🙏🏾❤
Yo fam I’m a small content creator, and I make a variety of entertaining reactions, vlogs, and a range of other content and I’m still working on quality but I guarantee you will find something you will enjoy!🙏🏾❤
The worst thing is that in the current psychological model, if you're a patient and believe in the kinds of things Dr. Mate is talking about, then that's just more evidence of idiosyncratic thinking caused by your disorder.
I already know this intuitively, even as a new mom. I’ll never abandon my son - even and especially when they are having a hard time- we got to love endlessly and unconditionally our babies ...it’s the way ❤
I used to have panic disorder. I couldnt go to the movies or even think about anything remotely uncomfortable or it would trigger a panic attack. I would feel what felt like symptoms of a heart attack about to happen or some sentations in the head that made me feel like I could have a stroke. The more I tried to fight it the worst it got. I ended up in the er twice and even hyperventilated myself by breathing too fast and passed out on one occassion. I thought I died until I hit my face really hard on the pavement. It took years to overcome this condition completely and I learned different components little by little that eventually when put together finally helped me. Knowing what I know now I would summarize what happened as the following: 1. There is always some underlying trauma or insecurity or something unsettled in your mind that attacks you. Feelings of guilt, shame, regret. A feeling of impotency or inadecuacy that constantly triggers anxiety. And this is the key, the untreated or unaddressed source causes constant anxiety which eventually influences the sympathetic and parasympathetic nerve system and starts giving you psychosomatic sensations around your body. This is because there is literally adrenaline coursing through your veins every time this anxiety is triggered and because you don't know how to use this you manifest it in these intense sensations. Heavy breathing, rapid thoughts, weird feelings in your chest, like a black hole sucking the soul out of your body. Many different manifestations of the classic panic attack. 2. You must not be afraid of this anxiety or the horrible sensations that they make you experience. The less afraid you become the better it will be for you and the only way to lose the fear of them is to let them happen and as I like to say "surf these waves" as many times as necessary until you don't freak out every time they happen. Because they will continue to happen. At any moment you could have a panic attack and you cannot fear that. It is no different than getting a headache or even something less painful than that. It is a minor inconvenience. Desensitization makes the panic attack feel less severe but it doesn't stop it from happening. Treating the cause of the out of control anxiety is what eventually stops this. Anxiety is a natural response of the body. It's a don't die primitive mechanism of the brain. This said, the thing is, you have created maladaptive behaviors that now make everything cause anxiety for you and your body can't handle it. It must release. So find ways to do it. Be active, do not eat stimulants and if you are prescribed medications like benzos, take them properly, the moment you don't respect these drugs they will fuck you up. Stop eating and most of all drinking excessive amounts of sugar and also get plenty of sleep, uninterrupted if possible. At night. You want that brain to reset as often as possible. 3. If you have a panic attack the first thing you want to do is accept it. Second, if possible get out of whatever place you are at where you are uncomfortable and find somewhere to sit down. Also, shut up, don't talk to anyone. At least not while you are first trying to do this, eventually as you gain experience and things improve, you will be able to fucking sing in front of thousands if need be WHILE having a panic attack if you can believe this. Most importantly in all this: Don't move. Place your legs planted firmly on the ground while seated and take deep slow breaths and exhale. More importantly don't do this in extreme heat. If it is hot get ventilated, take off your jacket, if it is too cold get warm. Just don't let the temperature influence your nerve system, this make it worse. When the adrenaline rush is met with zero resistence it can run its course faster without more buildup so just try to relax, don't overthink about anything and breathe. Your panic attack will disappear within 12 mins or less. If not, calm down as best you can and keep taking slow and deep breaths and do not take your feet of the ground while seated no matter how you feel. Also, try out something called mindfulness and if you want to take it a step further try ACT therapy, aka acceptance and commitment therapy. This stuff made the panic attacks completely go away after years of trying everything else. But I hope those 3 points help someone out there who might need this info. It worked for me eventually by trial and error.
Ride the wave…or just go with it. You learn this when operating things that are bigger than you and which you can’t totally control (because of too many outside variables). You really only have the control before and at the end. Training and different techniques can improve things but it’s still a toss up from time to time
Joe, I’ve been suffering from some sort of panic attacks since 2019 and haven’t been diagnosed and haven’t taken any medication. Your remark about a sensation in your head that feels like a stroke, is exactly one of the symptoms I get very frequently, and nobody seems to understand or get it. Thanks for sharing.
Joe I believe this podcast episode would’ve immensely benefitted from a psychologist who’s specialty is on ADHD (probably childhood) for more of well rounded look on ADHD. Thank you for showcasing mental health and it’s importance.
I resonate with this heavily. When I was at the ages 7-9, they decided to medicate me for ADHD and at the time, I was being molested repeatedly with divorced parents and my single mother was supporting myself and my brother all alone. When I look back on it, it makes me wonder if there ever was anything wrong with me in the first place, or was I just a small child dealing with stresses that I never should have been dealing with while trying to survive in a classroom.
something really similar happened to me ... I was taking multiple different medications for anxiety and depression while also self medicating with extreme amounts of other drugs. Years later as a young adult i'm realizing there wasn't anything 'wrong' with me, I was a child subjected the the emotional abuse and turmoil of adults. As a 6 year old. It's taking quitting all those drugs clinical or not, working out daily, talking to therapist, getting a dog, other forms of healing, etc and it's still hard. It's a long journey, but the only other option is to lay down and die. And as crazy and painful as it can be sometimes, life is worth living
I got diagnosed at the age of 7 when my parents were fighting constantly and then separated. My mom moved us out of our house to an apartment and I only saw my dad once a week.
I think 80% of American kids got screwed by the pill push. They gave me the same pills for not being smart enough in school. Then when I used weed got asked why I want to depend on a drug to relax. Does America want people to get ass fucked by companies while being drugged into coma so we don't feel it?
I can totally relate with you my family was totally dysfunctional i was physically and mentally abused I was an emotional mess before I even started junior high school so I turned to drugs and alcohol to self medicate for the next 35 years until that almost killed me im 53 now and have been sober for two and a half years and work a program but I still deal with some mild depression and emotional issues but I'm working on getting a therapist, thank you for sharing 😌
Joe clearly hasn’t experienced a genuine anxiety disorder. Imagine waking up in the middle of the night covered in sweat short of breath.. the best way I can describe the feeling is that initial feeling you’d get if you were shoved off a cliff and that visceral feeling you get just keeps replaying over and over. Your thoughts come at you at the speed of light and you’re so overwhelmed for Seemingly no reason. A lot of people say they have anxiety.. No you have worries.. when your fight or flight response just fires up randomly you’ll soon understand
I think he probably hasn't ever felt intense anxiety on marijuana either. He calls other people (Normand, Gillis) pussies for not wanting to do it ON THE SHOW when they need to be sharp. He says they need to confront their anxieties. And to a degree he is correct. But for some people the anxieties are so intense than it's almost impossible to have a healthy outcome. For Joe, I feel like he gets high and is like, "Oh I shouldn't have had ice cream two weeks ago. I need to deal with that urge." Whereas someone else might get high and be like, "I got raped as a child and I am still dealing with that. Ahhhhhhhhh."
My son had this very badly with a bit of Autism and changing his diet to protein and healthy fats was unbelievably the magic pill for him. Years later I learned it’s what I needed as an adult. Sometimes you can do all that therapy but if your eating food that doesn’t nourish your brain it won’t stick well
The anxiety part he talks about describes me to a fricken tee. I was diagnosed at age 5 sometime after suffering from convulsions. But for years and years my anxiety never improved. I was extremely socially anxious. Scared of starting school, never "went out" with other kids. Like a hermit I isolated myself in my bedroom. I backed out of joining this local dojo my parents wanted me to take, I was a mess. Then I found out the truth after talking to my step mom after she talked with my dad and it just makes perfect sense I was loved and nurtured but never encouraged, pushed or educated and that all life taught me was the only person I could rely on was myself.
Yo fam I’m a small content creator, and I make a variety of entertaining reactions, vlogs, and a range of other content and I’m still working on quality but I guarantee you will find something you will enjoy!🙏🏾❤
"What you teach them is that the world is not available that they are alone and that they're helpless" that is so true. That is exactly what anxiety feels like and I'm sure as Gabor mentions that it is a formula for creating anxiety and an anxious Society.
Yo fam I’m a small content creator, and I make a variety of entertaining reactions, vlogs, and a range of other content and I’m still working on quality but I guarantee you will find something you will enjoy!🙏🏾❤
Joe is speaking from ignorance about anxiety--- I'd like to drop him off at the top of a 1000ft tower from a helicopter and tell him not to be scared, and that your anxiety isn't real. People who have never had it don't understand that you feel the same anxiety as if you were on top of that 1000ft tower, even if it's irrational-- you can't control the fact that you feel it so strongly. You certainly can't just turn it off in the moment by thinking happier thoughts.
@@calholli yeah. Anxiety is real and sucks. I deal with anxiety and panic attacks and from what I know not many people get to feel this immense feeling of impending doom.
I was diagnosed with adhd in the 3rd grade and its great to see this dr talk so.e truth about the invalidity of adhd as a disease..ive always thought that it was a way for my father to dope me up so he wouldnt have to deal with my hyperactivity.. and my whole childhood environment was fucked up so stress was a huge part...and i do suffer from high anxiety but so does everyone who has struggles in life
I'm sitting here in my dorm room at 5 AM a few days away from my physics and organic chemistry midterms, that I am sure will do poorly on, because of a lack of studying. I firmly believe I have an undiagnosed form of ADHD and what Gabor explained here about it simply being a dysfunctional coping mechanism has me crying yet relieved because I've always struggled with understanding what my problem is and what he explained is absolutely it. Thank you for helping me discover where the core of what is ruining my life comes from. I'll cherish this information for the rest of my life. Thank you
you're not alone mate, im 39 and have just been diagnosed with ADHD, also iv been looking into RSD, up until now i thought my life was over, but after getting diagnosed, man the weight thats been lifted, take it from me get good real help now so you dont waste away 20yrs of youre life like i did just ignoring it, it wont go away by itself.
Dr. Gabor Mate is a wizard of the highest order. Listening to him speak mesmerizes me. The cadence of his speech, the wisdom in his words, and the vulnerability in his heart expresses deep compassion. The weariness in his face and eyes tell me that dude has seen some things. Long may you run Dr. Mate. The world needs you.
That’s not true. If a kid is raised in a family where the parents solve all the kids problems, they are much less likely to be independent. However, if the parents force the kid to deal with their problems on their own, you get an independent kid.
I grew up with a v stable emotionally dad n I have clear memories of him just holding me when I was sad n how I felt safe. I always feel like I can do anything when I remember him ♡︎. All my friends that suffer w addictions grew up in a “emotionally unavailable house”. They also often tune out and struggle to be present. It makes sense
"The brain can change, if you treat it right." That's the best line. I'm constantly trying to "get my shit together" little by little and it's definitely not easy (as I'm sitting here typing on youtube) but I want to do it for myself but also so I can be a good example and help my nephew get better and deal with his issues too as he grows up.
I do meditative visualizations where I visualize my brain synapses changing. I also do regular meditation and write tons of positive affirmations. If I feel that my anxiety starts to worsen I will put spoken affirmations from RUclips channels on a loop. I spent time in a psych ward and lived in a psychiatric halfway house and I was fortunate that my psychiatrist took me off meds almost immediately. At the time I was angry about it but now, years later, I’m grateful. Physically, I now eat vegan and do a half hour every day in the gym. I know it doesn’t seem like much, but I figure it’s better to do a little exercise every day than a lot only once in a while. I live in Manhattan and walk a lot anyway. However, I did have a bad attack during a Zumba class once, so I find it’s better for me to pace myself slowly. All my love to you and sincere best wishes. You are unique and beautiful in your own special way. You ARE successful in your goals for the simple fact that you try.❤️💋🙏 BTW 2 things that have always stuck with me and have also helped me a lot were told to me by 2 different therapists. That my anxiety attacks are my mother’s and not mine and; choose to be with people who do not make fun of others who have problems, are impatient with those with problems, or ridicule them.
Hey, I'm proud of you man. Good you have a nephew inspiring you to be a role model. I always wanted a brother or a younger cousin to do this to but was not given either. I highly suggest watching "gravemind" videos they have some incredible content. Much love
The brain generally does not fix its own medical diagnoses without medical treatment though. Examples: Schizophrenia, Bipolar Disorder, Major Depressive Disorder, Cancer, Meningitis.
You should try basic chi gong practices so subtle but builds strength in the bone marrow mind muscles grounding controls he breathe and helps the chi flow
@@staceymurray9644 Yes, I studied Chi Gong here in Chinatown NYC and I think it’s much better than the Zumba class I was going to. I actually had a bad attack in the gym, so strenuous exercise isn’t always tranquilizing. Agree 100% with you. Thanks for reminding me to get back to it.☯️
I really think this guy figured it out. I was diagnosed with ADHD when I was 5 and as I got older I noticed I had this habit of whenever I'm in a situation where I'm not comfortable I'll just stare at some place and my brain just switches off.
But overcoming situations in which we are not comfortable is how we grow as people. Do you expect or believe that a human being should be comfortable everywhere they go in life? It just doesn't sound like a diagnosible condition to me.
I do that too if im in a situation were im engaged im confident and very enthusiastic about whats going on but if i feel uncomfortable i just switch off and peolpe think im an arsehole but im just not into whats going on around me
Man hearing this makes me relieved. I still remember I was a quiet, skittish, and always anxious. My 5th grade teacher tried to push me to special needs, she would move my desk to be away from the class and would make me do coloring book activities instead of math and science. There was a day where we had these representatives from a program for gifted and honors make students take an exam to see if they can be placed in a magnet or gifted programs. I ended up scoring the highest and she couldn’t believe it. She tried to say it wasn’t possible but when it was, the superintendent and others got involved and questioned her why she was making me do coloring book activities and why was I separated from the class? Today I’m in my 4th year of medical school, educators back in the day didn’t have any idea what homes or backgrounds we come from but to anyone out there feeling like they are stuck and doomed to fail, take your time to learn. You’ll fail but what you take from failure is what ultimately me accepted into a better school for magnet students and there I wasn’t seen as a kid with special needs but rather just adhd and anxiety that my new school had given me resources to help happy and successful. Now today im glad I didn’t let this flawed education system put me in a box. Cheers everyone ❤
This made me sad for my son who was diagnosed with ADHD at about age 10. I was in a bad marriage and stressed and he became the scapegoat. It wasn’t him, it was we, his parents with the problem. I wish I could have a do over. We no longer have a relationship but I will always love him and have regrets until my dying day.
Please do everything in your power to have a relationship with him. Tell him you love him. Tell him it’s not his fault. If my husbands mother would just reach out & take responsibility I know it would change his life. Maybe you already have but don’t ever stop trying.
Okay, butt, your bore-ing me, because you gave up on him when he was, like, what? 11? 13 years, while you're ducking some pool boys? OMG, I'm soooo, like, offended by your feelings right now!! ......-THEN. WORK. HARDER. Sassy-pants. 😿💔🕳💣👎🫀🤦♂
@@psychedelicmike7311 I know exactly what book : In the realm of hungry ghosts…changed my life. I literally quit a 2 year opiate addiction after I read it. He has changed the human understanding of trauma completely. Way wiser than JP and needs more media coverage for sure. Totally agree
This is so true. I think my unmedicated ADD helped me mentally blunt, block, tune out and survive an emotionally and psychologically abusive childhood. Im 32 now, and recently medicated. I am happy and grateful to have medical help now, but I think had I been medicated as a child, I would not have coped as well with my childhood. It was as if my childhood ADD made my mind rubber where so much just bounced off me or never made it through the brain fog and I'm a pretty positive, happy and well adjusted person for it. 🙏
Maté is one of the most important healers in the world. Incredibly underrated, and with his new book release, his knowledge and wisdom have never been more needed. If you are new to him, please continue watching. Thanks for finally putting him on Joe Rogan.
I had a lot of repeated abuse growing up. I'm in fight or flight all the time, in different levels. My thoughts have always been scattered. I have a ton of negative effects. My anxiety is 24 hours a day. When I interact with people, it gets so high that I dissociate, and get nbed out. It effects my memory. I have large chunks of my life that I don't really remember. Which seems to distort my perceived time. I understand time passage intellectually, but I don't perceive it that way in that state, which I am in a lot. So I literally mentally feel half my age.
@They're trying to weaponize it what's that supposed to mean? Sounds like something and American incel would say to a trauma victim. PTSD is real and pretty fucking shit. No wonder your country have such a problem with rape and damaged veterans.
Watched this guy in an addictions treatment centre (he’s one of the guys that are shown to patients at many centres) and his stories and information and the way he tells them had a major calming effect on everyone, definitely helped me get through it
We are Love fundamentally which is the most powerful low entropy Being . BUT we are taught that having a fear driven attitude is the way. Fuck that be kind to others and reap the rewards of being calm stoic and fear-less.
He is practicing physician, not a pop psychologist or a creature of academia. He eliminates the shame and stigma attached to addiction and mental illnesses. He is brilliant.
The father of khabib normagumedov said about khabib. his son is restless as a kid, jump over there clime over there, he said his hyper so look at what he become now? He utilized his unlimited energy.
Dr. Mate’s commentary is a spot-on description of dissociation as an adaptation. There is no doubt that dissociation is often carelessly misdiagnosed as ADHD. Dissociation and ADHD are not synonymous, however. To the best of my knowledge, there is no discussion of ADHD here. Rather there is a very serious misrepresentation which names ADHD and then presents a thoughtful representation of dissociative adaptations. If the intent here is to inform (rather than create confusion), one might consider being more discerning. “A small error, if left uncorrected, soon grows to great proportion” - from Aristotle’s Metaphysics
I’m 27 and was diagnosed at 18. But this explanation makes so much sense. Both of my grandparents died within 3 years of one another when I was 1 and 4. My mother was a single parent and her parents helped her SO much with me and my brother. Their passing caused an immense amount of stress, pain, and anxiety to my mom. The explanation of a baby tuning that out and that eventually can become ADHD makes so much sense. I’m blown away.
Yo fam I’m a small content creator, and I make a variety of entertaining reactions, vlogs, and a range of other content and I’m still working on quality but I guarantee you will find something you will enjoy!🙏🏾❤
This is one of the best JREs. I teared up multiple times listening to this conversation. The importance of love and compassion in our lives cannot be ignored anymore for material gains.
Gabor founded safe consumption site in Vancouver east side. , western medicine as we know it is designed to keep us in pain , be cause the capitalism and political influence of big pharmaceutical says so so shut up and drink tge kool aid!!!! Not all bad but think bout it
Listening to this wise man I understood so much about my motherhood....the mistakes I have made with my older daughter ...She was my first I was just overwhelmed unhappy tired mother...I never gave her enough support and emotions and mother's love....she hasnt got any ADHD but the emotional distance between us in noticable....she has problems with showing emotions at all to anybody in tje family....if I could turn back the time...if I knew then what I know now...jezzzzz
Such a profound episode - can't believe it took me so long to listen to it.... I loved how serious and engaged Rogan was with him. Made me absorb everything even better.
I have adhd. I was told by a therapist I was one of the worst cases she’s ever seen, but I was also the funniest person she’d met. People would talk to me and my brain just would not absorb what was just said. I took medication and my life was 100% easier. My personality went from a goofball to a businessman. Also after tests it turned out I was intellectually gifted. The worst part of having ADHD for me was knowing the thoughts in my head were smart, but the way I talked and the way people treated me was like a dumb airhead.
I believe you way more than this doctor. Your story and my "stepson's" are extremely similar. Your response to medication is very similar to my stepson's. I have to say ADHD is real with real medication treatment. Because if it's not ADHD, then what was it that my stepson had (has) since he was a very young boy? I'm not with my ex-GF and don't see my "stepson" anymore, so I don't know what he does now as a young adult. I heard he's into heavy liquor and marijuana, especially after graduating from H.S. and dropping out of college. May God save him. Good luck.
@Daniel Furler are you asking if medication changes you? It doesn't decrease any of your abilities or cognitive function, it'll increase your performance as your nervous system comes back online, you'll be free from Dorsal vagus shutdown and like many, you might even go through a period of grievance for all the years you missed. It can be very life changing. But anyway, your personality won't change, you'll continue to love all the things you already do but even more so.
My girlfriend had some anxiety and went to the doctor just for a check up and the doctor without hesitation wrote her 2 prescriptions, one for depression and one to basically make her numb from the world. If your doctor prescribes you medication without first asking about: -Your diet -Your sleep -Your exercise routine -Your water consumption -If you have any structural issues -The stress in your life Then you don't have a doctor, you have a drug dealer.
I was feeling fatigued and somewhat depressed a few years ago and went to my doctor and she ran some tests that showed I was quite deficient in vitamin D. Once it was up all of those feelings went away. It could’ve been several prescriptions but she was smart enough to treat ME and not suppress some sort of feeling or symptom.
I was diagnosed with ADHD as a child. My parents had my siblings several years after me and a lot of responsibility was put on me as a child. At 10-11 yrs old I had the responsibility of taking care of my siblings who were 6,7 years younger than me. And I absolutely thank my parents for it because I grew up with the skill set to be able to not only be independent, but able to take care of others. I'm able to handle stress well because of my upbringing. My life has been stress tests after stress tests but if I could go through it all again I absolutely will. You develop leathery thick skin. You perform incredibly under immense pressure. I'm now almost 33 and I do not regret a single moment of it, I thank my amazing parents for the opportunity. And I believe a lot of people have gone through the same. It's something that I believe is essential yet absent in today's world. Children today are exposed to less stress and therefore respond less effectively in those situations. You may not agree with me but this is what I believe in, wholeheartedly. Hard Times create Strong Men, Strong Men create Good Times, Good Times create Weak Men, Weak Men create Hard Times.
I read Dr Mate’s book “In the realm of hungry ghosts” and I literally quit a 3 year opiate addiction. He has changed the human understanding of childhood and Adult Trauma. I don’t like to compare but he is much more WISE (not necessarily intelligent) than Jordan Peterson. I have been waiting for a decade for this to happen on JRE
@@smokeylebear1062 a "better" medical professional???😟 They have 2 seperate fields of study so that's not really a very objective statement now is it????....🙄 Could you please name the different degrees of higher learning that each of these gentlemen hold in their field's of study??? Because if not you can't really make that "ASSessment" now can you? Its like comparing Apples to Torque Wrenches. 🍎 🔧 🍊🤔
As someone who recently experienced their first panic attack at 37 years old, I am happy to see anxiety spoken about. I am also glad Gabor countered Joe on his thoughts with regards to anxiety. A panic attack is the scariest thing I've ever experienced medically, and physiologically I was absolutely fine. I sincerely thought I was about to die, and my firing off all these signals to confirm my thoughts. Genuinely felt like I couldn't get enough oxygen in my lungs when breathing, thought I was having a heart attack, thought I was going to pass out, etc. Called an ambulance and they hooked me up to an EKG, checked my BP and O2 in my blood, did a blood sugar test, etc. -- absolutely nothing wrong.
Me too. I have had panic disorder since 13yrs old. Anxiety can be changed with thought, exercise, and stress control but it can be transformed into panic attacks if untreated. Sometimes we are subconscious about stress. Yes, its environmental, but I do think brain connection is still important.
If any person here is struggling through mental illness without help like me i just want you to know that I am proud of you and I hope your life gets better
i had crippling anxiety and depression throughout my 20's all because of my experience at school and way my brain reacted to it. it then followed me into my adult life by meaningless job after job, sent me on a path in life i knew i was better than that. the good news is i did completly turn my life around, i was very lucky. the point is i was diagnosed with social anxiety, general anxiety, ADHD, bi polar, all of the above but its turned out i just needed to start living my true life and stop living on past memories. it took years to unlearn all my anxiety and become a non anxious person but i just want to say its possible. theres no one answer its a personal journey, you have to take a good look at your life and your personality and what you want from life, the way you react and act around people, the way your mind works, meditation helped me find some answers, break the constant flow of negative thoughts for 1 second and you find some answers. i know we are all differant but thats my story. my heart is with anyone suffering.
although my anxiety is 10 years past, my more recient involvement in nature and travel really has helped me understand what is important and what is possible. spending time in nature made me understand that nature understands what is really important and humans in the context of nature are are among the kings. So I dont worry about silly social world stuff anymore because its just not important
@@SEANMCAD exactly! nature is a big one for me too, i got into mountain biking and hiking, im currently travelling vietnam by motorbike infact! we allready have all we need to get better. life becomes exciting again once you drop your old habbits. im not saying this is in everyones case, i know there are a huge range of mental health issues which some obviously do require medication and professional help. but for thosr who developed them from personal truama and just life issues in general, you can fully unlearn the condition.
When my oldest was small, I was emotionally unavailable for the most part. I told him to stop crying when he needed me to just hold him. He has struggled with anxiety and depression. His younger brothers, born 7 and 9 years after him, I was different and have been very emotionally available and affectionate. This also changed me to be this way with the oldest. The younger ones are much more self aware confident and doing better mentally than the oldest was at the same age, and he(the oldest) is beginning to get there too. I have him in therapy now and I have communicated all of this to his therapist. This is straight facts, hold the crying child.. no matter how often, or if you are having a bad week. All they need is to feel safe and valid.
As a psychotherapist in this field for 30 years, been saying this when I witnessed young children labeled and drugged, when they were living with traumatized parents/caregivers in unstable, and/or unhealthy environments. Parents/caregivers, wounded children themselves, who couldn't regulate their own nervous system, due to their dysfunctional, unhealthy upbringings. Kids being blamed and labeled as the scapegoat/identified patient, when the whole family system needed overhauled. No specific person is to blame. It's a systems issue. Generational traumas that go unchecked, years of buried sexual trauma people deny, parental mental health issues unaddressed, rampant addictions, etc.
As some who has suffered with an autoimmune disease since birth I am now 28 and in the last 5 years I have been diagnosed with psychosis adhd and ptsd and have been on pharmaceutical medications my whole life in and outta hospital in the last 2 years I have gone off everything and got straight into working and gyming. I went from being 105kg to 75kg in the space of 5 months and I have never felt more proud of myself in my life as I've learnt to harness it 110% turn pain into anger and that anger into power. Jah bless to my fellow brothers and sisters world wide, you got this 🙏❤
I got diagnosed with ADHD as a kid but my mum refused to give me medication and also didn’t tell me about the diagnosis. I was a B’s and C’s student but constantly told by teachers I could get A’s if I applied myself etc. When I was a teenager she told me about it and I felt a bit annoyed with her at first because I felt like I had a medical condition that held me back. Now I’m 30 and having read up on ADHD extensively and listening to this podcast I understand the way I am a lot more now. It also makes me more conscious of being a considerate parent to my daughter, she’s an A’s kind of student.
Like your Mom, my Mom refused to accept a diagnosis of me having a learning disorder by a school counselor when I was a small child in the 70s. And like you, when I learned about this years later I, at first, was very upset that she didn’t medicalize the reactions to extreme stress that I was exhibiting. Now that I know about how closely CPTSD resembles ADHD, Asperger’s, etc. and am very thankful that she did this ONE thing right!
This is amazing. My son was diagnosed with ADHD when he was in 5th grade (I think) and the doctor said he wasn’t ready to put him on medication just yet. So thankful for that. But I was looking into how to make his life less stressful and what helps me is to have less stuff on my schedule, a clean house and things to be on a calendar. I helped him do that and haven’t had any issues with him since.
Dude you resumed this so well. I have ADHD and those are exactly the things that makes my life 100x times less stressful and actually feel at peace even though I can never actually reach them!
he's a brilliant man, i wish we had more psychologists who had the compassion and patience to see the truth of mental health issues today, get rid of the stigma, teach people the techniques of mind management, emotion management, medication is not always the answer, it seems these days silence is becoming the answer more than anything, then medication, its rare you get help for simple things things let alone complex issues.
It needs to start as early as possible in schools too! Totally agree. Teach our children from an early age how to mange their emotions and feeling, how to avoid stressful situations or if you do how to cope during that time. Build more confidence, better communication/relationship skills, be more real with our kids and show them a few more realities about life.
I have experienced a nephew with debilitating anxiety. It is like the difference between being depressed and being clinically depressed. I know things like inattention and anxiety seem like things we all deal with but some people have it at a whole other level. There are definately ways to improve it on your own but you have to have the will to do it
@@dillonroach4078 you are describing something typical. Some people have WAY off of typical experiences with anxiety and things like depression and inattention. That is the thing Joe doesn't seem to believe exists.
@@AlexA-ko8lu I've found its something that is hard to understand until you've really seen someone in that like manic anxiety state. It almost needs its own word, because everyone can feel anxious but not everyone really suffers from "anxiety"
@@AlexA-ko8lu Joe has a problem relating to things he hasn't experienced. He does this with a lot of things. It's funny because Joe shows a lot of signs of ADHD lol Maybe he's in denial and doesn't want to acknowledge it. But for a lot of people it's hard to imagine that the anxiety they experience and overcame, can be easily the same for someone else. I didn't understand it much until I developed severe mental health issues in my late teens which led me in an out of psych wards for the next decade. It really is an invisible disease that we need to learn to believe and acccept those who claim they are having issues. It's quite frankly immature and narrow minded to act like these things are made up or people are faking it.
Simply brilliant. That is exactly how I raise my child. In love and care and support. I see parents ignoring or even punishing their kids for crying and I don't know if I should approach them and tell them to their face that they are ruining their children. I feel very sad for these kids.
I thought about anxiety the same way as Joe until I had a panic attack, and then reoccurring panic attacks after that over the fear of having another one. Anxiety is a very real thing and it can be debilitating. Oversimplfying it isn't helpful.
Yo fam I’m a small content creator, and I Make a variety of entertaining reactions, vlogs, and a range of other content and I’m still working On quality but I guarantee you will find something you will enjoy!🙏🏾❤
I love Gabor Maté, he really knows what he's talking about. His podcast on Tim Ferris' show was incredibly insightful, because you could watch Tim have one revelation after another. Nothing as complicated as understanding yourself!
Yo fam I’m a small content creator, and I make a variety of entertaining reactions, vlogs, and a range of other content and I’m still working on quality but I guarantee you will find something you will enjoy!🙏🏾❤
@@leighannf.4730 Definitely Ferris (as mentioned) and Russell Brand, because you have two "uninitiated" people who honestly try to be better human beings and really attain vital knowledge during the conversation. Other than that I recommend watching the documentary Wisdom of Trauma. He talks to terminally ill people, some of whom survived their diagnosed death sentence, just because they finally understood what made them sick.
This entire clip resonated with me so much. I was diagnosed adhd, ptsd, anxiety and panic attack disorder. I don’t believe anxiety is a chemical imbalance but more of a trauma response. I too felt feelings of abandonment from early child hood which resulted in anxiety in my early 20s. I have made extreme changes and progress as a sufferer med free.
Anxiety is neither a chemical imbalance nor a trauma response. Anxiety is completely normal. Anxiety disorders are medical conditions requiring medical treatment.
Gabor Mate was Interviewed by Russel Brand around four years ago. Although adhd was not even mentioned during their discussion, something about Gabor seemed to resonate with me. Immediately after listening to the podcast, I checked out audible for books he had written, when 'Scattered Minds' seemed to jump out of the screen. Within less than half an hour I discovered adhd at age 50. Long story short, I was diagnosed a year later. Second to becoming a father, this has been the most significant event of my life.
I grew up in an abusive upbringing and looking back, I had some horrendous things done to me that I would never wish upon on any child. That being said, i was able to develop some skills that most people don’t possess: my intuition in figuring out people’s true intent is almost 99.9% accurate; I’ve become outrageously resilient and can live on bare necessities. Against all odds, I’m now in highly competitive medical field where without the use of stimulants, there’s ZERO CHANCE that I can function on a day to day basis. Could I have been here and function normally without the meds had my childhood been secure and safe? I don’t know, but I’m glad I’m medicated with the correct diagnosis. Another question is had my childhood been safe, would it have instilled my innate desire to lead me into medicine in the first place? I don’t know. Also this guest speaker is 80yo physician talking about his antiquated education experience. We do 100% learn about the sociopsychological factors that can lead to psychiatric disorders. The current medication model is the best we have right now and that’s why recommend it.
I have ADHD, I'm positive it's always been here. I'm 28 medicated as of a few months ago. I am back in school, doing better in life. More time in the gym. I'm glad I was NOT medicated as a kid. Because now I have coping skills + the help of the medication. Do I wish I explored it earlier in my 20's sure. But so glad I was not medicated as a kid.
Agreed. Got medicated at age 24, my child def present similar symptoms but I will not medicate her unless she is a teenager at the youngest and she specifically asks me to do it because she is struggling.
@@GreyGooseNWO if it stressed you out / gave you anxiety you probably don't have ADHD (absolutely common to *fake* a disorder when your brain convinces you you have it.) Or the medication dose was not high enough. I take adderal but my advise would be really have a long talk about goals with your THERAPIST/PHYCI! Do not go see your primary Dr about any mental illness medication, some are above average Dr's most are average and know about them and how the medication works but don't have experience with it. I started at 5 MG that wasn't enough for me we found 15 was better we think it's due to my muscle mass size / metabolism I eat 5 meals a day following old school body building so dose and medication is per person. My phy said the correct dose is when you increase to the point you can't sleep at night then pull it back a little bit so you can sleep. Kinda like overclocking a PC push it until it crashes then pull it back to where it's stable. Hope that helps and I wish you luck.
Basically. I got medicated in high school and had a similar experience. When I wAs medicated as a child I had no say or any clue what was happening. I was stimmed tf out and they would raise my dose even more. I think that’s the biggest problem with medicating kids
This guy is amazing. I also stopped taking my medication because I have to live with the hope that my brain can change and that I don’t need to be dependent on medication to have a fulfilling life. The medication really depersonalised me, like a work zombie with no emotion. Was useful for what I needed it for, but hurts every other aspect of life.
My anxiety and panic disorder came mostly from childhood trauma. I unknowingly self medicated with alcohol for years, but a little while after stopping drinking I began getting random panic attacks throughout the day and have been unable to function as a productive adult for a couple of years now. The only things that seem to help are therapy, a nurture relationship, Klonopin, and THC/CBD. This continues to be an ongoing problem for me. People don't realize how much they are messing there kids up for their future when they are abused, and or neglected.
There is a difference between having anxiety and having an anxiety disorder. I've suffered with anxiety, specifically social anxiety, all my life. I was diagnosed with an anxiety disorder at 18. In the last two years I'd say my anxiety has been the worst it's ever been. It's gotten to the point where I'm genuinely depressed with life every day. Suffering with an anxiety disorder is like having something hold you back from doing anything. It's not the same as being anxious briefly because of an event that recently happened in someone's life. In my case, my mind puts me off from having the confidence to go out and do things. I don't want to stay in all the time, but anyone who knows what I'm talking about will understand how it stops you from enjoying life and it's not the same as "generic" anxiety. or nervousness that people generally get.
I agree, I have been dealing with anxiety my whole life and it definitely puts a mental "wall" up when it comes to engaging in activities. I really have a hard time going out and doing anything unless I'm doing it with others I'm close with, almost to ride their coat tails.
I hear you. It's a horrible situation to be in, you want desperately to feel okay and connect with others, but feel as if you are unable to. The more you force it and try, the harder the wall is. You should know that this is more common than you think and your body is reacting in the only way it knows how to - being anxious. It's okay to feel this way.
Could it be possible that you've developed anxiety as a defence mechanism is response to far more stimuli than the average person? What i mean is that what you have may not be different to the average person, just more severe. For example, someone might develop a response of anger in certain specific situations(stimuli), but a person who you may say has 'anger management issues' has developed anger as a response to many different stimuli, or it's their go to response in most stressful situations. If this is true in your case, then the cause of, and potential solution to your anxiety may be the same. Recognizing it's a coping mechanism that served a purpose in a whole host of situations at some point in your life but at this stage in your adult life it has become debilitating. Forgive me if I've misunderstood your condition. But, if you agree to a point with anything I've said I recommend a book called 'Fear' by Thich Nhat Hanh, it's a free audiobook on Spotify.
Gabor is one of my favorite humans! I actually emailed the JRE booker, Matt Staggs about having Gabor on few years ago. I'm sure my email was lost in a sea of many others but I'm just so glad to see it happened!
Yo fam I’m a small content creator, and I Make a variety of entertaining reactions, vlogs, and a range of other content and I’m still working On quality but I guarantee you will find something you will enjoy!🙏🏾❤
Im 42 and was finally diagnosed last year, my childhood was destroyed by my parents divorce at 6 years old, I remember ALL OF IT. I cant even remember what i did yesterday, but that I still feel like it just happened. My Sister was 3 at the time and remembers nothing and was ultimately very stable and successful. My Mother remarried and my Step Siblings, who were In the same situation, ALL have it too, they were the inspiration for me to finally look into it Decades later We all VIVDLY remember our respective Parents Break Ups. We all have ADHD yet my Sister who was very young has Zero Memory of any of it and does not. To have Family Stability ripped from you so young and you having no idea whats even happening or why sets this off. Nothing is Stable, Nothing lasts for any period of time, none of this matters once its initially Broken This finally makes complete sense to me. Thank you
Yo fam I’m a small content creator, and I make a variety of entertaining reactions, vlogs, and a range of other content and I’m still working on quality but I guarantee you will find something you will enjoy!🙏🏾❤
I’ve had adhd and hyperactivity all my life and I have never……ever heard anyone explain it to me like that before. I’m exactly what this Doc is saying. Just brilliant I’m a changed man. Thank you both so much.❤️
Yo fam I’m a small content creator, and I make a variety of entertaining reactions, vlogs, and a range of other content and I’m still working On quality but I guarantee you will find something you will enjoy!🙏🏾❤
This guy delivered me at birth in what was a complicated pregnancy for my mother in Vancouver in 1986. Thanks, Doc.
@Jay Russ while I, like you take everything on the internet with a grain of salt, it’s also not that hard to imagine a doctor delivering a baby 🤷🏻♂️
@Jay Russ Grow up Jay
@Jay Russ Dang Cletus!
He delivered my pizza
Was he late due to his obsessive shopping habit?
This was one of the hardest things I’ve watched on Rogan. I have high functioning autism and I am very sensitive and loving, so naturally my parents neglected me when I needed to be cared for. I am almost 50 years old now and I’m just starting to understand that the things my parents tried to put on me were actually their issues, not mine.
I think I’m the same, I was rejected at birth by my mother, I think it’s now I’m only coming to realise the damage that may have been done.
I’m 51 and my whole life I’ve lived in a fight or flight response
My son has Autism. I feel for his condition.
What did you learn from that?
Correct, exactly. One of the 1st things I've learned in therapy was #Projection . To sum it up- However ANY individual is feeling on the inside will naturally come outward in their emotions, speech, language, and actions.
The human species must evolve by learning to NOT TAKE THINGS PERSONALLY, when it comes to judging another individual's Character.
That's the case with everyone, everyone's parents gaslight them at some point. You're too old to start resenting your deceased parents, let it go, you're not a victim.
I recently got diognoised at 27 with adhd, i never thought my child hood was bad because i knew so many people who had it worse, but listening to this im realising i was extremely stressed all the time because of my parents and i was alone 99 percent of the time. Damn.
It's all to do with maternal nurturing in the end, but we can't blame the parents. They probably did what they could, with the knowledge they had ,at the time. Good Luck 👍 👵🤯🧞♂️🫂🤞☮🙏🏻🥰
@@susancarolan153 How about genetics?
@@susancarolan153 when two people DECIDE to create another life and treat him/her poorly, they absolutely deserve blame. Some really don't do their best at all. Not sure what kind of fairy tale world you're living in, but you're dead wrong on that front.
Im in the same boat and I think if I got diagnosed with ADHD I would be better. Off. I tune out so much and it is hard to pay attention
@@thatguy4885 You need to exercise amigo.. run, cycle, badminton,, wotever... thats how you focus your energy, keep away from things and people that have a negative effect on your life,, take a time out by puttin headphones on listen to tunes or a book or a lecture so your brain can get a rest from repetition at key times of the day you feel it more... you have to work hard at relaxing- exercise + nature + good conversation= happiness.......... if you tune out at work its time for a new job! Awe 'Ra Best Mate! 🤘💀🤘
Im 25 and got diagnosed with ADHD when i was 11 or 12. A psychiatrist prescribed me with ritalin 400mg. It was crazy strong and would make me dizzy and nauseous. I decided to not take it anymore. Nowadays i can see that they where trying to control me, and the could achieve this making me feel victimized that i had a mental issue that would make me different. I dropped out of 3 college careers. At 22 i finally found what i love to do, and i have so much focus when im learning it. Im a full time car mechanic now. And im so happy that i kept so much focus naturally through my apprentice years, and i keep learning every day. I learned to live with it and remind myself constantly to be present and not in the clouds. Its just a matter of what catches your attention. The traditional school got old now hopefully there will be better schooling in the future.
The idea of someone with ADHD actually tuning out there environment due to stress and it’s considered a coping mechanism makes a lot of sense
Yo fam I’m a small content creator, and I make a variety of entertaining reactions, vlogs, and a range of other content and I’m still working on quality but I guarantee you will find something you will enjoy!🙏🏾❤
For me, I often feel like I'm held down by a physical force against my will.
@@jzen1455 same
@@jzen1455
Yeah that might be True but you never know what happens
I'm diagnosed with ADD and when I got older I realized that with sounds and noises. When it's too loud (too stressfull) I started to tune out in the past years
I think Joe’s interpretation of what they’ve labeled “anxiety” is pretty standardised, for those who’ve never really been cursed with it. Anxiety isn’t being concerned generally with how the future might pan out, or being in a state of nervous anticipation of something happening.
It’s the feeling of mortal dread, in the pit of your stomach, every day, despite no rational reasoning. It’s that feeling right as the rollercoaster tips, that turns your whole body inside out. For no rational reason. It’s sweating uncontrollably, twitching or itching like a mother fucker. For no apparent reason other than you’re outside amongst people. It’s constantly feeling like a family member is going to die every time they step out the house, despite rationally knowing it’s extremely unlikely.
It’s a chronic and very debilitating issue that no one who’s had experiences with it, would describe as a normal part of life. It turns people into fantastic actors though.
Sending good vibes to anyone else trying to work past that shit every day just to leave the house. 👊🏻
You just explained me to a T . When I first wake up in the morning it is the first thing I feel . I dont even have time to think about anything . Its already there .
@@robbosuave6165 I feel you Robbo. I know that feeling well. You have to take it on though, look it in the face, know what it is, know it’s not there by choice. I treat it like an allergy, or a migraine. When it’s there, it’s torturous, but you can take it on. There’s a few things I find really helps; multiple cold showers a day, exercise, like intense, empty the tank exercise. Cut out alcohol when it’s bad, and caffeine too, they’re like throwing petrol on a fire. Eat cleanly, drink loads of water, and get a journal and empty your soul into it every morning.
Breathing techniques are meant to be good, but I haven’t figured them out yet.
Be well mate, it can be better 👍
Nailed it ✅
I think what Joe is trying to say is everyone believes their anxiety is worse then everyone else’s. Sure there are people with little to no anxiety but from what I have seen by talking to people and reading hundreds of thousands of comments is that either 80% of the population has an anxiety disorder or that maybe everyone has anxiety and a lot of people have it pretty bad. We all think crazy thoughts!! But what do you do with those thoughts. I would be considered a person with an anxiety disorder but I refuse to let my thoughts control me, I will fight those feelings and thoughts and be sure to not entertain them even in the slightest way because they grow bigger quickly if you even give them a second thought. Take captive every thought, you are in control! I want to learn to manage my own mind and not rely on medication to numb me
And then when talking to certain people about it, they give their 2 cents in the form of "Dude it's all in your head, you just gotta believe in yourself" k thanks 😂
I got diagnosed with ADHD when I was a kid and ended up on Ritalin but it didn’t help at all in fact it made me a more aggressive and moody child who ended expelled from schools and eventually I ended up in youth detention and prison.
My mum was 17 when she had me and was a single mum for the most part and I really don’t blame my mum in the sense that she was a kid herself but now I’m starting to feel the lack of a strong male role model on top of having a young mum who clearly wasn’t ready and spent more time talking to her friends and getting babysitters so she could party which always ended up with me playing by myself and now i realise I was just a sensitive kid who would of benefitted from a strong family unit who were ready for parenthood. This is why these days with my children I always put emphasis on how much attention I show them because wether a parent likes it or not kids need a lot of attention, time and love if they’re going to succeed in this world.
I’m like 38 now and look back at all the years wasted due to me not being able to handle my emotions properly but there’s always hope to better yourself and try not to make the same mistakes your parents might of made. Learning from our bad experiences then turning the bad into something positive for others is how i can look back and know that the shit I went through wasn’t all in vain.
Sounds like you had too high a dose and Methylphendidate was not the right med for you. And I wrote a longer comment somewhere here in the new ones and explained my stance to this video. Sadly, it's not a positive one. I recommend info from actual people researching it etc. (Dr. Faraone, who has it, Dr. Hallowell who has it as well and Dr. Barkely who lost 2 of his relatives/his brother due to it and did the most research). It's also NOT just about medication and medicating people to become worker bees. I wish he also taked about neurotransmitters etc. So much of this is harmful and not empowering. And trauma can make ADHD etc. worse, but doesn't generally cause it. I got mine from oxygen deprivation at birst or from my enlarged tonsils, afaik. Then there's other stuff that can cause it or even traumatic brain injuries can cause those symptoms. It's all due to neurotransmitter issues, the frontal lobe, basal ganglia and some other stuff. I wish that would've been said ...
Sorry you went through all of that. And it pretty much sums up what he said about adhd being environmental, than being a disease etc. because you were ignored as a child that’s how you coped sue to the emotional disparity you were thrown into. I wouldn’t feel bad about it. It’s not your fault. But just continue to grow as a human being and break cycles. That’s the best thing you can for yourself and those around you. I have to break my own as well.
You have to feel to heal.
Develop curiosity of what happening to you: body sensations, thoughts, feelings and beliefs.
Here are some tools to help: journaling (free), meditation, spending time in nature/with animals, breath work, ethical body workers, EMDR, fasting, therapy with a sane/effective therapist, micro-dosing psychedelics, art therapy, dance therapy, music/shamanic drumming, etc.
great perspective and attitude stfu. ty for ur words. u on it brah.
Stfu? What’s your opinion then?
I’m 41 and was diagnosed with ADD/ADHD in the late eighties, then in my early teens depression and anxiety were added to the list. All of this made a lot of sense to me. The puzzle pieces definitely seem to fit. With this new information I feel some hope again. Rabbit hole, here I come!
Thank you Joe and Dr. Mate! ❤
Im 44 spot on for me to
You have to feel to heal.
Develop curiosity of what happening to you: body sensations, thoughts, feelings and beliefs.
Here are some tools to help: journaling (free), meditation/prayer, spending time in nature/with animals, breath work, ethical body workers, EMDR, fasting, therapy with a sane/effective therapist, micro-dosing psychedelics, art therapy, dance therapy, music/shamanic drumming, etc.
I told my wife if she could step in my shoes for a week with concentration her brain would blast threw the front of her skull. What a pain in the @ss.
Look up Dr Russell Barkley if you really want to learn stuff about adhd
But notice how he explained his whole theory on ADHD by basing it on his personal experience with how ADHD effects himself? You might want to second guess what this person's motives are and do your own research before you take his theory as truth. I also have ADHD, I was diagnosed 20 years ago. I haven't done enough research myself, but I found that a great source of information for me was How to ADHD. The girl that runs it does a lot of research and her information comes from legitimate scientific studies.
Gabor Mate is probably my favourite human being in this galaxy. He has such a calm and warm demeanor and because he has an extremely open mind completely free of hubris and arrogance, he's been able to really get in touch with the things that make us who and what we are. He understands the healing nature of plants and also understands that we are spiritual beings deeply interconnected to each other and everything else too. He's brilliant and sincere and I would encourage anyone to look deeper into his past work. A true scholar and authentic healer and just a fine human being in general. Love you Gabor.
Is he Hungarian?
Agreed!
@@yourdadssliders6241 yes, I doubt that he lives in Hungary currently, but he is definitely Hungarian
@@abrisnagy3518 cheers mate
His son is also a fantastic journalist, Aaron Mate
His explanation makes sense for me a person with social anxiety. As a kid I had a lot of stress put on me. I couldn't run away or fight back so what I did is shut down and not say anything. Now whenever I'm put under social stress I shut down and don't talk. On top of that people look at you weird when you shutdown, so now you are expecting negative feedback from your peers so you get even more anxious.
You probably have Avoidant Personality Disorder. My brother and my best friend have it.
Society and institutions are the disease.
Your experience is very similar to mine. Unfortunately right now as an adult when I'm under heavy stressed not only that I shut down and couldn't talk, but also am paralyzed. I don't even know how to fix this.
How do you overcome this???
if you figure out how to fix this tell me
I’ve never heard a better description of what I experienced. I’ve known for a long time that I don’t want to be present or tuned in because I find life painful, but haven’t known what to do about it. I’ve very very slowly learned to tune back in through meditation and emotional regulation techniques. But I wasn’t really sure why that worked or why I’m sometimes still unable to focus and sometimes I’m fine.
It’s like learning that looking at the world through squinted eyes makes it less ugly. So you never stop.
My middle son has similar issues, and I was in the worst of my mental stability when he was a baby. I feel awful. And I do tend to snap at him because his issues and my issues can compound so easily. This perspective is so helpful. I do ok with him sometimes because I empathize, but I’m not tolerating failing him anymore. He’s the sweetest kid. He doesn’t deserve to go through what I went through.
Both my parents were mentally ill. My Mom had severe postpartum depression and was extremely anxious in a nonproductive way. She has told me that sometimes she just left me when I was crying because she was afraid she’d hurt me and that’s the best she could do for me. My Dad was always depressed. It makes so much sense. It is such a better description to say I am hyper sensitive (I am) and was never given appropriate skills to cope. I had to make it up on my own.
If I may, no one thinks or maybe notices, but many parent teacher conferences, boards, and on a national scale been talked about by the greatest minds in the field of education. Still to this day, books are absolutely the fundemental knowledge document is to an individual. Over technology, visuals are good learning examples on a chalk board yes, but video lectures on a screen or a radio lecture (can't see it or know whom the person is) as teachers are present and the beacon on questions answered, and have the steps to walk anyone in their presents through what they know and trained and studied themselves no different, to a masterful level as thus, their way of life, living and passion, is a much better resource. Reading is focus, quiet, an alone, absolute solitude for the mind and it's knowledge document it can study and focus on. Words in a page in black also for the reason of, it's less straining on the eyes. Books are easy to pause and pick back up where you left off when a distraction happens anyways. Our brains and eyes are overstimulated to a complacent annoyance with technology advertised and pushed at us all the time, radio and TV no different in a different means. You get the full 100% nothing left out, just as the teacher themselves cover to cover started and finished in it's totality, no skipping ahead or waiting for ads or anxiety marketed emotions of a commercial either, just turn the page is all. Library's are even provided with the environment at school too to focus and maybe not be alone either if that's a preference. It's all been thought of and perfected by people before us that we enjoy. Trust me it works, learned the hard way, but it's the truth.
I absolutely love Gabor Mate's work. His book "When the Body Says NO" opened my eyes when I was in my early 20's. It validated so much about my upbringing and life circumstances. I had to be "tough" and not express or have needs because my parents were so so stressed and struggling. My body paid the price of this denial and I developed stage 2 adrenal fatigue at age 25. I spent years trying to heal my body from the stacked layers of post traumatic stress. I love my family and I sympathize with their own circumstances but it feels liberating to acknowledge that my parents did their best but it wasn't the best for me.
"They did their best, but it wasn't the best for me" I love that, that's affirming for me
The self awareness in your words…I am in absolute awe. I had a similar experience. I became an adult at the age of 10. I had to be the mother to my own Mom and then my younger brother and finally my baby sister. Even though there is so much shared trauma caused by the monster of my mothers second husband and my narcissistic mother, to this day I am STILL the only one that loves them unconditionally even though it’s unrequited.
It's good to share stuff. Being authentic is a hallmark of strength. I 'd say you are marking your territory. Almost reclaiming the past and healing surviving thriving and being yourself and expressing it to the world. I am proud of you.
Reading Mate's book--Scattered Minds---changed my life. I've been diagnosed with ADD for all my life. Taken meds more a majority of my years on this earth. Always told I was too sensitive, disobedient, distractible, and in school had low behavior grades. I wish my parents read this book when I was young. I could of learned that having ADD is like having a super hero ability of being well-attuned to other peoples feelings as well as mine. Today, I'm a licensed therapist and great at what I do because of my ADD.
I’m about to go to school to get my masters in clinical health counseling. Mate’s books are a big reason why, keep up the awesome work!
Yo fam I’m a small content creator, and I make a variety of entertaining reactions, vlogs, and a range of other content and I’m still working on quality but I guarantee you will find something you will enjoy!🙏🏾❤
11:38 a cry for help. Yes i have always scored super high on tests in school perfect scores but never did my homework and was bored in class a lot and would act up. Looking back i can see it was a coping mechanism for me because that was wasting my time and i was confused about why i was there etc... but when i had a good math teacher who was engaging i was perfect student very quiet. But now that im older i know that there was nothing wrong with me it was bad schools teachers and parents etc... no one actually sat down and talked to me and asked me. They would lecture and berate me even though i had perfect scores when it actually mattered. Those people will be judged by God one day...
Congrats on your success, Dave. To have made it out through all of it while looking back and never really having an answer for "where were my parents during all of this" is something that I think makes you a stronger person in the end.
Yo you lied. First, ADD is not the correct term and hasn’t been for almost two decades. It’s adhd. A therapist would know that.
I already started reading Mate’s new book, “The Myth of Normal.” This man is channeling such a necessary and incredibly transformative energy which is to help us heal ourselves. He synthesizes the best minds, the research, as well as our deepest traditions and cultural roots in showing us that suffering and despair can be redirected to a place of hope and prosperity for all. I’m so grateful for people like him. 🙏
Yes! I love his new book. He’s an amazing human
I think I downloaded this. 🤔 I better look! ❤️
Ever since medicine became a business instead of a service people got more sick and dependent on drugs. The work Gabor is doing is spectacular, God bless him. Thank you for giving us the understanding of how our bodies and minds works back. 🙏
The issue here is ADHD isn't a disease, it's just a quirk some people have
The issue is not the drugs, but the way those drugs are used
ADHD doesn't need a fix, but using drugs mimics the way an otherwise normal brain could function
I guess my point here is that drugs do work, it just depends on how they're used.
Like depression. Depression needs drugs because the brain is not working right
ADHD on the other hand is not a deficiency but a quirk.
It's all case by case. Nothing general.
@@kisu_ve625 tbh depression doesn't need drugs there are several ways to restore the brain's chemicals like dopamine and so on naturally
@@exorcist3d99 ...that is what drugs do
You cannot possibly not understand this
@@kisu_ve625 so even if it can be done without drugs, forget the effort, take them and end up dependant and fucked by side effects? I see, now I understand
@@exorcist3d99 ????
Wow you're really talented
I almost believed you had a negative IQ for a second haha you're really good at pretending man hahahaha
I was diagnosed with adhd at a young age and watching this made me pretty emotional; It affects my memory,emotional availability,relations and even my morality because I've noticed that some of the sociopathic tendencies I've picked up from my father and then some of the narcissistic aspects from my mother.
Often times I act cold and very distant as a way coping mechanism on top of my brain adopting a very "out of sight, out of mind" mentality.
It leeches to objects I put down and spans all the way to names or even entire people out of fear of emotional harm.
I confide in my own company so much that for a very long time I wasn't aware I lost all my acquaintances, even now I feel the people I talk to were added as a masquerade of normalcy.
Damn, I’m with you on that.
Hope your doing well brother
I love how Gabor addressed the risk of raising over-indulgent children argument with the bear cub example. Makes you realize that when a child is distressed they need to be shown what to do in that situation, whatever it may be, and demonstrate patience.
Sadly, showing children patience can be really difficult, especially if you haven't received it yourself as a kid, but it's something we can work on. What a great interview.
Disciplinse is becoming not only less emphasized, it's also being more and more discouraged as the "do whatever makes you happy" and "you're perfect just the way you are" positivity obsessions that teachers and parents apply to everything became/becomes more mainstream. There's a huge lack of discernment, nuance and contextual evaluation missing from the culture of our nation today. Throw in accountability and patience, of course.
@@nathanmcdowell4731 I get you I believe that it is important to be stern with children, but being neglectful is not the way to go about parenting. If your child throws tantrums and acts unpredictably, you're not listening to them. People that are good parents seldom have to worry about their children embarrassing them while maintaining a good bond with love and respect. I don't want to bring in training dogs but there are two ways people train their dogs, one way is being stern and consistent, and the other is abuse. You know what I mean?
@@zeenea_c yes, you're exactly right. That's the nature of true love, not some fairytale happily ever after or accepting and excusing character flaws, true love has a stoicism and bravery that remains level headed while directly addressing misbehavior and explores the pathway(s) with a child that will lead to them processing their impulses or emotions and correcting how they react to them. Too many parents assume innocence of their child out of a false understanding of love and believe they shouldn't be (or at least appear to be) critical, skeptical or suspicious of what they say or have done. A child raised in that environment will become accustomed to being free of scrutiny and accountability, which will leave them unprepared to accept it when they are confronted by other authority figures . These types of parents often defend and downplay their misbehavior, reassuring their child once they are alone together that the consequences or punishments are unfair and undeserved. I could go on for a while about this, but true love realizes that no one is perfect the way they are and feels driven to help them identify and improve upon the behavior that would make others dislike them. Friends and spouses ought to do the same for their friends and loved ones...calling out lies or adjusting the setting on the vacuum or doing and saying whatever needs to be done or said so that they can become better in every aspect without judging them for falling short sometimes ...
"creating champions for life" program has the solutions...
My mother became incredibly overindulgent of my youngest brother after I introduced her to Scattered Minds by Gabor.
I think his ideas are great for people and families who lack care and love, but for a mother who already leans in the direction of coddling and helicopter parenting it can be all the validation they need to completely indulge their motherly instincts.
My 17 yr old little brother is still sleeping next to my mum and never leaves her property now after having zero life experiences (my mum didn't want to push him to do anything that made him uncomfortable or might traumatise him, as Gabor is always warning us of). I feel partially responsible for introducing his ideas to her. His life is virtually ruined as a result and I will likely be his carer when my mum dies.
I’m 43 and crying. I was diagnosed at 18 and this is the biggest truth I’ve every heard. I have known for years the thoughts and impulses that distract and ruin me are unwanted coping mechanisms from my childhood.
Great!, you know what to do now. Make a strong relationship now. Never too late. Forgiving and let go works. Get close to God.
like sushi said. now you know. we have to pay attention to our kids. build strong healthy relationships. don't let worry control our lives.
Im 42 and was finally diagnosed last year, my chilhood was destroyed by my parents divorce at 6 years old, I remember ALL OF IT.
I cant remember what i did yesterday but that is still like it just happened.
Are the meds bad???
@@sushibowl9707bad advice to give
I’m in the middle of the road on this one, medication for my own ADHD has really been an absolute game changer, I wish I’d received a formal diagnoses and medication while I was still in the military as an analyst because I can’t even comprehend what a difference that would have made for my quality of work. But I absolutely will not have my child diagnosed and medicated for it before he’s an adult. Dopamine detox and a very high emphasis on routine and fixed consequences as well as intermittent studying rather than big work blocks has seemed to help exponentially. I hope this input is valuable to someone. Great podcast always 🙌🏻
I was discharged with PTSD and the clarity of mind that stimulant medication gives ME helps me keep myself out of very negative and problematic cyclical thinking
Look up Russell Barkley on ADHD medication
Brilliant conversation 👏 I've been in fight or flight, anxiety all my life, this guy is spot on, my mother was emotionally absent all my life. I'm now trying to heal myself. Rough ass journey & I experience panic attacks, so debilitating.
My friend has been diagnosed with panic and social anxiety disorder. I grew up with this lad, watched him go from a confident young man who spent 7 years in the military to someone that struggles to leave the house. He can’t go shopping on his own and has extremely bad panic attacks. He’s had quite a few panic attacks when I’ve been with him, he even got taken to hospital in an ambulance a few times. It’s horrible seeing the terror on his face when he has a bad one as I know he’s thinking this is it I’m dead. His anxiety is that bad he come out in a rash on his feet and hands mainly and his stomach problems are that bad he passes horrendous amounts of blood, and it’s all because of his anxiety. It’s a terrible thing to have when it is severe. I went into a shop with him last year, 7 in the morning, when it was quiet. He only wanted to buy one thing but the guy kept asking him questions and he just froze and the colour in his face went white and he just stood there frozen, he couldn’t even get his words out to the fella. The guy realised something was wrong and started talking to me asking if my mate was ok. It’s tough to watch a lad I grew up with and loved and respected so much suffer this way.
This sounds a lot like what mine is. It may not be a "disease" but it is not as simple as Joe makes it out to be.
Same boat as him. Was hospitalized for 3 months and doing better now. Psychotherapy and medication is a good place to start.
I don’t believe these guys are talking about these debilitating forms of anxiety and pd. What’s annoying is people won’t know the difference and use this As agency to understand people with serious disorders.
War is hell but it can get better, if you have a struggling friend encourage them to go get professional help. Time does not heal these wounds they become mental illness
You are a good friend. Im glad he has you.
Ask him to look at a low carb, sugar free diet. That will disrupt the gut-brain disconnect that is a real thing. Fixing the diet even vastly helps autiism. There are a huge number of doctors who understand this now. There are videos about this right here on You Tube.
There are great treatments for anxiety disorders. He should seek medical treatment.
Being diagnosed ADHD myself I can say without a doubt this man is on to something. I agree that kids pick up on the energy of there parents and if there's alot of stress or violence they learn to tune out I did this exact thing and now I know this I am going to implement practicing with my own son. Holy crap this is a breakthrough
Is it really that hard to learn the difference between “their”, “there” and “they’re”? English is not my native language, i never studied english grammar and i know that shit.
@@Voodoo_Robot roflmao are you just scrolling through flexing on people's grammar in the comment section. What a pity life you must live. God bless you in Jesus Christ's holy name.
@@Voodoo_Robot funny thing is you still know what I meant 🤣
For fks sake any dog owner could be able to come to this realization.
@@classygary wow I’m sure you’re nice to be around and you’re comments very helpful 🙄
This was so refreshing to hear, I've been suspecting that my ADHD is more of a trauma response than a disease for a while now. I got diagnosed at 20 and when I really think about it, pretty much all of my symptoms have some root in my childhood history of abuse and neglect. My inability to finish tasks or stick with interests comes from my father always tearing me down whenever I started something new, my inability to sit still and relax comes from a constant "on guard" vigilance I had to adopt to protect myself from his inconsistent rampages, my inability to focus comes from my mind constantly racing and worrying about what abuse might come next, I could go on.
I wish there wasn't such an aggressive disdain towards the idea of ADHD as a trauma response, it seems like the current system wants to sell it as a disease so they can make more money.
I'm a fellow diagnosed adhd myself. My advice is to get on the meds. You must first teach your brain how to think and behave correctly and stimulant medication does that. Trust me. I didn't know what a calm and relaxed mind felt like until I started the meds. Most adults who start on the meds would usually cry after taking it. You will understand finally why you behaved in a certain way your whole life. You will forgive yourself and begin to heal. From there you teach yourself how to continue this new behaviour without the help of medication.
@@IvikosDigital I took meds for years and it helped for a bit, but eventually it just started giving me more anxiety than ADHD relief unfortunately.
@@IvikosDigital sup bro 23 just started meds 3 weeks ago and I did cry. Dropping out of college once and almost a second time (currently working on my second to last semeste). I have As in everything cause of the meds. I know I’m an intelligent person but if something isn’t interesting to me I can’t make myself do it and as a result have done poorly in school since 4th grade. I finally can dive down into things and use my brain how I want
@@Gulb180 great to hear. Best of luck on your journey bro.
I commend you on your trauma and respect what you went through, you know now your answer and what you have to do now right
appreciate watching this, i suffer from severe anxitey and depression, ive not left my house in 3 years because i just have to much fear of leaving my home and even when i try i suffer really bad panic attacks,and suicidal thoughts all the time, need more videos like this!
Will pray for you remember god loves us that suffer from anxiety your not alone you will get thru this don’t give up
So u have more of those whats next?
So glad this subject was discussed. This podcast happened at the most perfect time in my life with my own son. He is 5yo and was diagnosed with cancer at the end of last year at 4yo. He just started kindergarten 3 weeks ago and its been beyond rough. His anxiety about everything now seems like it's leading to ADHD. The stress that me and and his mother have been in the last year is something I cant describe, yet I can only imagine the stress he felt and still feels. We lived in the hospital for 5 months straight in complete isolation and the whole time you try to explain to your child whats happening but a 4yo will never understand cancer so he has no idea why he is being tortured everyday when he has done nothing wrong........ Cancer can suck a dick dude
Hopefully your son is doing better! My 5yo is going through the same thing minus cancer it was heart problems
@@ericharvey7333 thank you he is in remission now thank goodness. Sorry to hear that about your kiddo though. I cant stand seeing these innocent lives having to go through these kinds of things. The floor we were on in St. Jude was the worst experience of my life. Only advice I have for the parents going through these things is dont even try to process it. It's not possible. All you can do is keep your head on straight and just be there for your child
@@HiThereFaceHere I ain't religous but God bless you.
That's intense and very much a hard thing for your family to go through. I find it helps to say that part is over and there is so much future and wonderful things ahead. State of mind and gratitude in the moment is very effective. It's the great moments to look forward to. Keep your child upbeat and inspired. We are what we consume. Try to consume nothing but pure foods, good thoughts,good content. I ask my every night 3 things that were these about today. We never stop dreaming. Children are over stimulated from this complex world of wants and desires. Step by step ,keep it simple.
Yo fam I’m a small content creator, and I make a variety of entertaining reactions, vlogs, and a range of other content and I’m still working on quality but I guarantee you will find something you will enjoy!🙏🏾❤
Gabor is incredible. Been listening to him for years and am so glad he is on Joe's show. He is truly a wise man, I wish more people would hear him out
Yo fam I’m a small content creator, and I make a variety of entertaining reactions, vlogs, and a range of other content and I’m still working on quality but I guarantee you will find something you will enjoy!🙏🏾❤
The worst thing is that in the current psychological model, if you're a patient and believe in the kinds of things Dr. Mate is talking about, then that's just more evidence of idiosyncratic thinking caused by your disorder.
Read his books
I just found out about him and I'm so glad I did. About to buy his books!
@@offmefaceken4547 check out 🍄
This guy is honestly a genius, the way he goes about things is amazing. He sits back and actually like actually analyzes things so specifically.
I already know this intuitively, even as a new mom. I’ll never abandon my son - even and especially when they are having a hard time- we got to love endlessly and unconditionally our babies ...it’s the way ❤
I used to have panic disorder. I couldnt go to the movies or even think about anything remotely uncomfortable or it would trigger a panic attack. I would feel what felt like symptoms of a heart attack about to happen or some sentations in the head that made me feel like I could have a stroke. The more I tried to fight it the worst it got. I ended up in the er twice and even hyperventilated myself by breathing too fast and passed out on one occassion. I thought I died until I hit my face really hard on the pavement. It took years to overcome this condition completely and I learned different components little by little that eventually when put together finally helped me. Knowing what I know now I would summarize what happened as the following:
1. There is always some underlying trauma or insecurity or something unsettled in your mind that attacks you. Feelings of guilt, shame, regret. A feeling of impotency or inadecuacy that constantly triggers anxiety. And this is the key, the untreated or unaddressed source causes constant anxiety which eventually influences the sympathetic and parasympathetic nerve system and starts giving you psychosomatic sensations around your body. This is because there is literally adrenaline coursing through your veins every time this anxiety is triggered and because you don't know how to use this you manifest it in these intense sensations. Heavy breathing, rapid thoughts, weird feelings in your chest, like a black hole sucking the soul out of your body. Many different manifestations of the classic panic attack.
2. You must not be afraid of this anxiety or the horrible sensations that they make you experience. The less afraid you become the better it will be for you and the only way to lose the fear of them is to let them happen and as I like to say "surf these waves" as many times as necessary until you don't freak out every time they happen. Because they will continue to happen. At any moment you could have a panic attack and you cannot fear that. It is no different than getting a headache or even something less painful than that. It is a minor inconvenience. Desensitization makes the panic attack feel less severe but it doesn't stop it from happening. Treating the cause of the out of control anxiety is what eventually stops this. Anxiety is a natural response of the body. It's a don't die primitive mechanism of the brain. This said, the thing is, you have created maladaptive behaviors that now make everything cause anxiety for you and your body can't handle it. It must release. So find ways to do it. Be active, do not eat stimulants and if you are prescribed medications like benzos, take them properly, the moment you don't respect these drugs they will fuck you up. Stop eating and most of all drinking excessive amounts of sugar and also get plenty of sleep, uninterrupted if possible. At night. You want that brain to reset as often as possible.
3. If you have a panic attack the first thing you want to do is accept it. Second, if possible get out of whatever place you are at where you are uncomfortable and find somewhere to sit down. Also, shut up, don't talk to anyone. At least not while you are first trying to do this, eventually as you gain experience and things improve, you will be able to fucking sing in front of thousands if need be WHILE having a panic attack if you can believe this. Most importantly in all this: Don't move. Place your legs planted firmly on the ground while seated and take deep slow breaths and exhale. More importantly don't do this in extreme heat. If it is hot get ventilated, take off your jacket, if it is too cold get warm. Just don't let the temperature influence your nerve system, this make it worse. When the adrenaline rush is met with zero resistence it can run its course faster without more buildup so just try to relax, don't overthink about anything and breathe. Your panic attack will disappear within 12 mins or less. If not, calm down as best you can and keep taking slow and deep breaths and do not take your feet of the ground while seated no matter how you feel.
Also, try out something called mindfulness and if you want to take it a step further try ACT therapy, aka acceptance and commitment therapy. This stuff made the panic attacks completely go away after years of trying everything else. But I hope those 3 points help someone out there who might need this info. It worked for me eventually by trial and error.
Great advice.
Ride the wave…or just go with it. You learn this when operating things that are bigger than you and which you can’t totally control (because of too many outside variables). You really only have the control before and at the end. Training and different techniques can improve things but it’s still a toss up from time to time
Joe, I’ve been suffering from some sort of panic attacks since 2019 and haven’t been diagnosed and haven’t taken any medication. Your remark about a sensation in your head that feels like a stroke, is exactly one of the symptoms I get very frequently, and nobody seems to understand or get it. Thanks for sharing.
Thanks man, this helped a lot. God bless you
Thank you
Gabor mate is so underrated and has helped me more and understands addiction more than anyone ive ever heard. The WORLD needs to listen to this man.
Yeah some children grow up geniuses regardless of their parental situation.
Isn't he woke, and in favour of the feminisation of men?
I couldn’t agree more. His perspective on addiction was a game changer… literally changed my life. That said, so did Adderall.
FUNNY FOOTAGE OF LADS ŔÄPING A ZOMBIE :
ruclips.net/video/CWfd8OjWkwg/видео.html
FUNNY FOOTAGE OF LADS ŔÄPING A ZOMBIE :
ruclips.net/video/CWfd8OjWkwg/видео.html
Joe I believe this podcast episode would’ve immensely benefitted from a psychologist who’s specialty is on ADHD (probably childhood) for more of well rounded look on ADHD. Thank you for showcasing mental health and it’s importance.
I resonate with this heavily. When I was at the ages 7-9, they decided to medicate me for ADHD and at the time, I was being molested repeatedly with divorced parents and my single mother was supporting myself and my brother all alone. When I look back on it, it makes me wonder if there ever was anything wrong with me in the first place, or was I just a small child dealing with stresses that I never should have been dealing with while trying to survive in a classroom.
I’m sorry you had to go through that
something really similar happened to me ... I was taking multiple different medications for anxiety and depression while also self medicating with extreme amounts of other drugs. Years later as a young adult i'm realizing there wasn't anything 'wrong' with me, I was a child subjected the the emotional abuse and turmoil of adults. As a 6 year old. It's taking quitting all those drugs clinical or not, working out daily, talking to therapist, getting a dog, other forms of healing, etc and it's still hard. It's a long journey, but the only other option is to lay down and die. And as crazy and painful as it can be sometimes, life is worth living
I got diagnosed at the age of 7 when my parents were fighting constantly and then separated. My mom moved us out of our house to an apartment and I only saw my dad once a week.
I think 80% of American kids got screwed by the pill push. They gave me the same pills for not being smart enough in school. Then when I used weed got asked why I want to depend on a drug to relax. Does America want people to get ass fucked by companies while being drugged into coma so we don't feel it?
I can totally relate with you my family was totally dysfunctional i was physically and mentally abused I was an emotional mess before I even started junior high school so I turned to drugs and alcohol to self medicate for the next 35 years until that almost killed me im 53 now and have been sober for two and a half years and work a program but I still deal with some mild depression and emotional issues but I'm working on getting a therapist, thank you for sharing 😌
Joe clearly hasn’t experienced a genuine anxiety disorder. Imagine waking up in the middle of the night covered in sweat short of breath.. the best way I can describe the feeling is that initial feeling you’d get if you were shoved off a cliff and that visceral feeling you get just keeps replaying over and over. Your thoughts come at you at the speed of light and you’re so overwhelmed for Seemingly no reason. A lot of people say they have anxiety.. No you have worries.. when your fight or flight response just fires up randomly you’ll soon understand
I think he probably hasn't ever felt intense anxiety on marijuana either. He calls other people (Normand, Gillis) pussies for not wanting to do it ON THE SHOW when they need to be sharp. He says they need to confront their anxieties. And to a degree he is correct. But for some people the anxieties are so intense than it's almost impossible to have a healthy outcome.
For Joe, I feel like he gets high and is like, "Oh I shouldn't have had ice cream two weeks ago. I need to deal with that urge." Whereas someone else might get high and be like, "I got raped as a child and I am still dealing with that. Ahhhhhhhhh."
100% the thoughts racing was rare very rare for me... but I'd get crazy physical issues.
shit will wake you up at 6am heart POUNDING lmao yeah its clear hes just never experienced this long term
FUNNY FOOTAGE OF LADS ŔÄPING A ZOMBIE :
ruclips.net/video/CWfd8OjWkwg/видео.html
I pray for u brother🤞🏻this video showed me I’m not alone..
My son had this very badly with a bit of Autism and changing his diet to protein and healthy fats was unbelievably the magic pill for him. Years later I learned it’s what I needed as an adult. Sometimes you can do all that therapy but if your eating food that doesn’t nourish your brain it won’t stick well
The anxiety part he talks about describes me to a fricken tee. I was diagnosed at age 5 sometime after suffering from convulsions.
But for years and years my anxiety never improved. I was extremely socially anxious. Scared of starting school, never "went out" with other kids. Like a hermit I isolated myself in my bedroom. I backed out of joining this local dojo my parents wanted me to take, I was a mess. Then I found out the truth after talking to my step mom after she talked with my dad and it just makes perfect sense
I was loved and nurtured but never encouraged, pushed or educated and that all life taught me was the only person I could rely on was myself.
"Independence is nature's agenda." Absolutely brilliant. 👏
Yo fam I’m a small content creator, and I make a variety of entertaining reactions, vlogs, and a range of other content and I’m still working on quality but I guarantee you will find something you will enjoy!🙏🏾❤
Survival is nature's agenda, not independence.
That resonates.
"What you teach them is that the world is not available that they are alone and that they're helpless" that is so true. That is exactly what anxiety feels like and I'm sure as Gabor mentions that it is a formula for creating anxiety and an anxious Society.
Link to the clip of rogan kissing max:
ruclips.net/video/CWfd8OjWkwg/видео.html
Yo fam I’m a small content creator, and I make a variety of entertaining reactions, vlogs, and a range of other content and I’m still working on quality but I guarantee you will find something you will enjoy!🙏🏾❤
Joe is speaking from ignorance about anxiety--- I'd like to drop him off at the top of a 1000ft tower from a helicopter and tell him not to be scared, and that your anxiety isn't real. People who have never had it don't understand that you feel the same anxiety as if you were on top of that 1000ft tower, even if it's irrational-- you can't control the fact that you feel it so strongly. You certainly can't just turn it off in the moment by thinking happier thoughts.
@@calholli yeah. Anxiety is real and sucks. I deal with anxiety and panic attacks and from what I know not many people get to feel this immense feeling of impending doom.
I don't even know what that means. "The world is not available"? The world is right here every day so that's not true.
I was diagnosed with adhd in the 3rd grade and its great to see this dr talk so.e truth about the invalidity of adhd as a disease..ive always thought that it was a way for my father to dope me up so he wouldnt have to deal with my hyperactivity.. and my whole childhood environment was fucked up so stress was a huge part...and i do suffer from high anxiety but so does everyone who has struggles in life
Sorry man but you're wrong based on real science. Listen to Gabor Mate's other stuff and you'll see the bullshit.
I'm sitting here in my dorm room at 5 AM a few days away from my physics and organic chemistry midterms, that I am sure will do poorly on, because of a lack of studying. I firmly believe I have an undiagnosed form of ADHD and what Gabor explained here about it simply being a dysfunctional coping mechanism has me crying yet relieved because I've always struggled with understanding what my problem is and what he explained is absolutely it. Thank you for helping me discover where the core of what is ruining my life comes from. I'll cherish this information for the rest of my life. Thank you
you're not alone mate, im 39 and have just been diagnosed with ADHD, also iv been looking into RSD, up until now i thought my life was over, but after getting diagnosed, man the weight thats been lifted, take it from me get good real help now so you dont waste away 20yrs of youre life like i did just ignoring it, it wont go away by itself.
@@TheRealkinetix Thanks for the advice. I’m going to look into working on this as soon as midterms week is over👍
I'm not sure if you have read his book Scattered Minds, but it has helped me understand myself a lot
@@randomhuman2084 I’ll def look into it, thanks
you made it to medical school..do you do fucking not lol
Dr. Gabor Mate is a wizard of the highest order. Listening to him speak mesmerizes me. The cadence of his speech, the wisdom in his words, and the vulnerability in his heart expresses deep compassion. The weariness in his face and eyes tell me that dude has seen some things. Long may you run Dr. Mate. The world needs you.
FUNNY FOOTAGE OF MR BEAN ŔÄPING A CAT :
ruclips.net/video/CWfd8OjWkwg/видео.html
FUNNY FOOTAGE OF MR BEAN ŔÄPING A CAT :
ruclips.net/video/CWfd8OjWkwg/видео.html
FUNNY FOOTAGE OF MR BEAN ŔÄPING A CAT :
ruclips.net/video/CWfd8OjWkwg/видео.html
Har har har. The eye of the tiger.
You trippin a little too hard
"We dont have to teach kids to be independent because independence is natures agenda" the most profound statement on child development I have heard.
Just not an empirically sound statement
@@chochoproductions5720 I was thinking the same thing.
That’s not true. If a kid is raised in a family where the parents solve all the kids problems, they are much less likely to be independent. However, if the parents force the kid to deal with their problems on their own, you get an independent kid.
@@yourmommashouse An independent kid with anxiety.
1st
I grew up with a v stable emotionally dad n I have clear memories of him just holding me when I was sad n how I felt safe. I always feel like I can do anything when I remember him ♡︎.
All my friends that suffer w addictions grew up in a “emotionally unavailable house”. They also often tune out and struggle to be present. It makes sense
I got diagnosed at 31. The medication for me is like having glasses for your brain, it turns from an out of focus state into a clear clarity.
100% Same and same
With handle of stress and good sleep and exercise you will have the same result trust me
"The brain can change, if you treat it right."
That's the best line. I'm constantly trying to "get my shit together" little by little and it's definitely not easy (as I'm sitting here typing on youtube) but I want to do it for myself but also so I can be a good example and help my nephew get better and deal with his issues too as he grows up.
I do meditative visualizations where I visualize my brain synapses changing. I also do regular meditation and write tons of positive affirmations. If I feel that my anxiety starts to worsen I will put spoken affirmations from RUclips channels on a loop.
I spent time in a psych ward and lived in a psychiatric halfway house and I was fortunate that my psychiatrist took me off meds almost immediately. At the time I was angry about it but now, years later, I’m grateful.
Physically, I now eat vegan and do a half hour every day in the gym. I know it doesn’t seem like much, but I figure it’s better to do a little exercise every day than a lot only once in a while. I live in Manhattan and walk a lot anyway. However, I did have a bad attack during a Zumba class once, so I find it’s better for me to pace myself slowly.
All my love to you and sincere best wishes. You are unique and beautiful in your own special way. You ARE successful in your goals for the simple fact that you try.❤️💋🙏
BTW 2 things that have always stuck with me and have also helped me a lot were told to me by 2 different therapists. That my anxiety attacks are my mother’s and not mine and; choose to be with people who do not make fun of others who have problems, are impatient with those with problems, or ridicule them.
Hey, I'm proud of you man. Good you have a nephew inspiring you to be a role model. I always wanted a brother or a younger cousin to do this to but was not given either. I highly suggest watching "gravemind" videos they have some incredible content. Much love
The brain generally does not fix its own medical diagnoses without medical treatment though. Examples: Schizophrenia, Bipolar Disorder, Major Depressive Disorder, Cancer, Meningitis.
You should try basic chi gong practices so subtle but builds strength in the bone marrow mind muscles grounding controls he breathe and helps the chi flow
@@staceymurray9644
Yes, I studied Chi Gong here in Chinatown NYC and I think it’s much better than the Zumba class I was going to. I actually had a bad attack in the gym, so strenuous exercise isn’t always tranquilizing. Agree 100% with you. Thanks for reminding me to get back to it.☯️
I really think this guy figured it out. I was diagnosed with ADHD when I was 5 and as I got older I noticed I had this habit of whenever I'm in a situation where I'm not comfortable I'll just stare at some place and my brain just switches off.
But overcoming situations in which we are not comfortable is how we grow as people. Do you expect or believe that a human being should be comfortable everywhere they go in life? It just doesn't sound like a diagnosible condition to me.
I do that too if im in a situation were im engaged im confident and very enthusiastic about whats going on but if i feel uncomfortable i just switch off and peolpe think im an arsehole but im just not into whats going on around me
@@junodonatus4906 I never said it was a good thing to do.
@@J-KEY I genuinely think you need to see a psychologist
@@junodonatus4906 I don't want to grow. I want to be at peace. Cannot wait to be dead one day.
I love Joe’s silly episodes with his friends but it’s episodes like this that keep me coming back
Man hearing this makes me relieved. I still remember I was a quiet, skittish, and always anxious. My 5th grade teacher tried to push me to special needs, she would move my desk to be away from the class and would make me do coloring book activities instead of math and science. There was a day where we had these representatives from a program for gifted and honors make students take an exam to see if they can be placed in a magnet or gifted programs. I ended up scoring the highest and she couldn’t believe it. She tried to say it wasn’t possible but when it was, the superintendent and others got involved and questioned her why she was making me do coloring book activities and why was I separated from the class?
Today I’m in my 4th year of medical school, educators back in the day didn’t have any idea what homes or backgrounds we come from but to anyone out there feeling like they are stuck and doomed to fail, take your time to learn. You’ll fail but what you take from failure is what ultimately me accepted into a better school for magnet students and there I wasn’t seen as a kid with special needs but rather just adhd and anxiety that my new school had given me resources to help happy and successful. Now today im glad I didn’t let this flawed education system put me in a box. Cheers everyone ❤
Your fifth grade ''teacher', cruella deville
This made me sad for my son who was diagnosed with ADHD at about age 10. I was in a bad marriage and stressed and he became the scapegoat. It wasn’t him, it was we, his parents with the problem. I wish I could have a do over. We no longer have a relationship but I will always love him and have regrets until my dying day.
U need to not be as ocerprotective towards him
@@ligiaumana8825 what do you mean?
Please do everything in your power to have a relationship with him. Tell him you love him. Tell him it’s not his fault. If my husbands mother would just reach out & take responsibility I know it would change his life. Maybe you already have but don’t ever stop trying.
Okay, butt, your bore-ing me, because you gave up on him when he was, like, what? 11? 13 years, while you're ducking some pool boys? OMG, I'm soooo, like, offended by your feelings right now!! ......-THEN. WORK. HARDER. Sassy-pants.
😿💔🕳💣👎🫀🤦♂
Please seek a family therapist and see how you can effectively reach out to your son.
So happy this has happened. Love Gabor, he needs a wider audience, thank you Joe for putting him on
Preach. Read this man’s book on addiction and it was heartbreaking and showed how to help the homeless with empathy
you're right
@@psychedelicmike7311 I know exactly what book : In the realm of hungry ghosts…changed my life. I literally quit a 2 year opiate addiction after I read it. He has changed the human understanding of trauma completely. Way wiser than JP and needs more media coverage for sure. Totally agree
@@geverniveup agreed
So much more empathic and connected than JP
I like JP but he is all fire
He’s a fraud
This is so true. I think my unmedicated ADD helped me mentally blunt, block, tune out and survive an emotionally and psychologically abusive childhood. Im 32 now, and recently medicated. I am happy and grateful to have medical help now, but I think had I been medicated as a child, I would not have coped as well with my childhood. It was as if my childhood ADD made my mind rubber where so much just bounced off me or never made it through the brain fog and I'm a pretty positive, happy and well adjusted person for it. 🙏
I feel like every human on earth needs to listen to this man. Thanks Joe keep on keeping on brother. Thanks Gabor.
Maté is one of the most important healers in the world. Incredibly underrated, and with his new book release, his knowledge and wisdom have never been more needed. If you are new to him, please continue watching. Thanks for finally putting him on Joe Rogan.
I too have been waiting and hoping to see Gabor on Joe's podcast. What a great suprise
I couldn't agree more. 🙏🏼❤️
Well said
After experiencing the pandemic, we all can identify with the struggle of anxiety. Such a great interview!
I'm sure his book sales will project upwards nicely from this one clip alone. I just purchased 2.
I had a lot of repeated abuse growing up. I'm in fight or flight all the time, in different levels. My thoughts have always been scattered. I have a ton of negative effects. My anxiety is 24 hours a day. When I interact with people, it gets so high that I dissociate, and get nbed out. It effects my memory. I have large chunks of my life that I don't really remember. Which seems to distort my perceived time. I understand time passage intellectually, but I don't perceive it that way in that state, which I am in a lot. So I literally mentally feel half my age.
That really hit home for me everything you just said
@@typicaltrumpettrump9354 Sorry to hear that you can relate.
please have a look into IFS therapy, it's a gamechanger for alot of people with C-PTSD.
Check out 🍄
@They're trying to weaponize it what's that supposed to mean? Sounds like something and American incel would say to a trauma victim. PTSD is real and pretty fucking shit. No wonder your country have such a problem with rape and damaged veterans.
I zoned out for most of this. But I know it was great guys thank you!!!
Lol
Watched this guy in an addictions treatment centre (he’s one of the guys that are shown to patients at many centres) and his stories and information and the way he tells them had a major calming effect on everyone, definitely helped me get through it
Same here
We are Love fundamentally which is the most powerful low entropy Being . BUT we are taught that having a fear driven attitude is the way. Fuck that be kind to others and reap the rewards of being calm stoic and fear-less.
So calming I was 😴
He is practicing physician, not a pop psychologist or a creature of academia. He eliminates the shame and stigma attached to addiction and mental illnesses. He is brilliant.
The father of khabib normagumedov said about khabib. his son is restless as a kid, jump over there clime over there, he said his hyper so look at what he become now? He utilized his unlimited energy.
The physician put me into tears, he broke down my whole childhood within 13 minutes
This little discussion and explanation could get so many people on track
Dr. Mate’s commentary is a spot-on description of dissociation as an adaptation. There is no doubt that dissociation is often carelessly misdiagnosed as ADHD. Dissociation and ADHD are not synonymous, however.
To the best of my knowledge, there is no discussion of ADHD here. Rather there is a very serious misrepresentation which names ADHD and then presents a thoughtful representation of dissociative adaptations.
If the intent here is to inform (rather than create confusion), one might consider being more discerning.
“A small error, if left uncorrected, soon grows to great proportion” - from Aristotle’s Metaphysics
I’m 27 and was diagnosed at 18. But this explanation makes so much sense. Both of my grandparents died within 3 years of one another when I was 1 and 4. My mother was a single parent and her parents helped her SO much with me and my brother. Their passing caused an immense amount of stress, pain, and anxiety to my mom. The explanation of a baby tuning that out and that eventually can become ADHD makes so much sense. I’m blown away.
Yo fam I’m a small content creator, and I make a variety of entertaining reactions, vlogs, and a range of other content and I’m still working on quality but I guarantee you will find something you will enjoy!🙏🏾❤
sam, i hope now more than ever you understand how young you still are and much growing is open for you to conquer
@@NathanRhwmf absolutely man. I appreciate that. Only up.
Big Pharma wants you believing ADHD is an “illness” that requires drugs. That message drowns out more humane wisdom like Mate’s. It’s tragic.
So much sense! I had at least 7 big stressful events in my life before I turned 1 year old
This is one of the best JREs. I teared up multiple times listening to this conversation. The importance of love and compassion in our lives cannot be ignored anymore for material gains.
Check out
dmtdoctor1
AMEN.
Indeed. The world is full of materialistic bull shit that is so shallow you could't drown a worm in it.
Gabor founded safe consumption site in Vancouver east side. , western medicine as we know it is designed to keep us in pain , be cause the capitalism and political influence of big pharmaceutical says so so shut up and drink tge kool aid!!!! Not all bad but think bout it
Listening to this wise man I understood so much about my motherhood....the mistakes I have made with my older daughter ...She was my first I was just overwhelmed unhappy tired mother...I never gave her enough support and emotions and mother's love....she hasnt got any ADHD but the emotional distance between us in noticable....she has problems with showing emotions at all to anybody in tje family....if I could turn back the time...if I knew then what I know now...jezzzzz
GOD! this guy gave me some really good insights on ADHD! we need more from him on this topic!
Such a profound episode - can't believe it took me so long to listen to it.... I loved how serious and engaged Rogan was with him. Made me absorb everything even better.
I have adhd.
I was told by a therapist I was one of the worst cases she’s ever seen, but I was also the funniest person she’d met. People would talk to me and my brain just would not absorb what was just said. I took medication and my life was 100% easier. My personality went from a goofball to a businessman.
Also after tests it turned out I was intellectually gifted.
The worst part of having ADHD for me was knowing the thoughts in my head were smart, but the way I talked and the way people treated me was like a dumb airhead.
This is exactly how I feel because I have severe adhd
I can totally relate 100%
I believe you way more than this doctor.
Your story and my "stepson's" are extremely similar. Your response to medication is very similar to my stepson's.
I have to say ADHD is real with real medication treatment.
Because if it's not ADHD, then what was it that my stepson had (has) since he was a very young boy?
I'm not with my ex-GF and don't see my "stepson" anymore, so I don't know what he does now as a young adult. I heard he's into heavy liquor and marijuana, especially after graduating from H.S. and dropping out of college. May God save him.
Good luck.
Judging from your username, you haven't lost your sense of humor!
@Daniel Furler are you asking if medication changes you? It doesn't decrease any of your abilities or cognitive function, it'll increase your performance as your nervous system comes back online, you'll be free from Dorsal vagus shutdown and like many, you might even go through a period of grievance for all the years you missed. It can be very life changing. But anyway, your personality won't change, you'll continue to love all the things you already do but even more so.
My girlfriend had some anxiety and went to the doctor just for a check up and the doctor without hesitation wrote her 2 prescriptions, one for depression and one to basically make her numb from the world.
If your doctor prescribes you
medication without first asking
about:
-Your diet
-Your sleep
-Your exercise routine
-Your water consumption
-If you have any structural
issues
-The stress in your life
Then you don't have a doctor,
you have a drug dealer.
Agreed they should be used for severe cases where nothing else worked or your a direct threat to yourself or others. Not for a bad week or month
👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼 louder for the people in the back
I was feeling fatigued and somewhat depressed a few years ago and went to my doctor and she ran some tests that showed I was quite deficient in vitamin D. Once it was up all of those feelings went away.
It could’ve been several prescriptions but she was smart enough to treat ME and not suppress some sort of feeling or symptom.
my drug dealer actually asks me all those questions though
@@alexvega5929 Is your drug dealer a doctor.
I was diagnosed with ADHD as a child. My parents had my siblings several years after me and a lot of responsibility was put on me as a child. At 10-11 yrs old I had the responsibility of taking care of my siblings who were 6,7 years younger than me. And I absolutely thank my parents for it because I grew up with the skill set to be able to not only be independent, but able to take care of others. I'm able to handle stress well because of my upbringing. My life has been stress tests after stress tests but if I could go through it all again I absolutely will. You develop leathery thick skin. You perform incredibly under immense pressure. I'm now almost 33 and I do not regret a single moment of it, I thank my amazing parents for the opportunity. And I believe a lot of people have gone through the same.
It's something that I believe is essential yet absent in today's world. Children today are exposed to less stress and therefore respond less effectively in those situations.
You may not agree with me but this is what I believe in, wholeheartedly.
Hard Times create Strong Men,
Strong Men create Good Times,
Good Times create Weak Men,
Weak Men create Hard Times.
I LOVE THAT YOU HAD GABOR ON. Thank you so much.
His message if any needs so desperately to be heard right now. We are all perfect, just traumatized.
I read Dr Mate’s book “In the realm of hungry ghosts” and I literally quit a 3 year opiate addiction. He has changed the human understanding of childhood and Adult Trauma. I don’t like to compare but he is much more WISE (not necessarily intelligent) than Jordan Peterson. I have been waiting for a decade for this to happen on JRE
He is a better medical professional than Peterson
Peterson has a peculiar neocon impulse and he gets folded any time he speaks to someone of equal or greater knowledge and acuity.
@@smokeylebear1062 a "better" medical professional???😟 They have 2 seperate fields of study so that's not really a very objective statement now is it????....🙄
Could you please name the different degrees of higher learning that each of these gentlemen hold in their field's of study??? Because if not you can't really make that "ASSessment" now can you? Its like comparing Apples to Torque Wrenches. 🍎 🔧 🍊🤔
@@LoneHero2 Your view is completely skewed. 🥽💩🤫🤐
@@gummo3873 Peterson worshipper lol
As someone who recently experienced their first panic attack at 37 years old, I am happy to see anxiety spoken about. I am also glad Gabor countered Joe on his thoughts with regards to anxiety. A panic attack is the scariest thing I've ever experienced medically, and physiologically I was absolutely fine. I sincerely thought I was about to die, and my firing off all these signals to confirm my thoughts. Genuinely felt like I couldn't get enough oxygen in my lungs when breathing, thought I was having a heart attack, thought I was going to pass out, etc. Called an ambulance and they hooked me up to an EKG, checked my BP and O2 in my blood, did a blood sugar test, etc. -- absolutely nothing wrong.
Yep that’s anxiety.
Are u a woman
Me too. I have had panic disorder since 13yrs old. Anxiety can be changed with thought, exercise, and stress control but it can be transformed into panic attacks if untreated. Sometimes we are subconscious about stress. Yes, its environmental, but I do think brain connection is still important.
Sorry to hear that. What do you think caused it?
He didnt counter joe. He misunderstood what joe meant and then they cleared it up.
This helps a LOT!!! This was explained so clearly! I understand some things so much better!
If any person here is struggling through mental illness without help like me i just want you to know that I am proud of you and I hope your life gets better
i had crippling anxiety and depression throughout my 20's all because of my experience at school and way my brain reacted to it. it then followed me into my adult life by meaningless job after job, sent me on a path in life i knew i was better than that. the good news is i did completly turn my life around, i was very lucky. the point is i was diagnosed with social anxiety, general anxiety, ADHD, bi polar, all of the above but its turned out i just needed to start living my true life and stop living on past memories. it took years to unlearn all my anxiety and become a non anxious person but i just want to say its possible. theres no one answer its a personal journey, you have to take a good look at your life and your personality and what you want from life, the way you react and act around people, the way your mind works, meditation helped me find some answers, break the constant flow of negative thoughts for 1 second and you find some answers. i know we are all differant but thats my story. my heart is with anyone suffering.
although my anxiety is 10 years past, my more recient involvement in nature and travel really has helped me understand what is important and what is possible. spending time in nature made me understand that nature understands what is really important and humans in the context of nature are are among the kings. So I dont worry about silly social world stuff anymore because its just not important
Glad to hear you found your way out of the matrix.
💯
@@SEANMCAD exactly! nature is a big one for me too, i got into mountain biking and hiking, im currently travelling vietnam by motorbike infact! we allready have all we need to get better. life becomes exciting again once you drop your old habbits. im not saying this is in everyones case, i know there are a huge range of mental health issues which some obviously do require medication and professional help. but for thosr who developed them from personal truama and just life issues in general, you can fully unlearn the condition.
@@blah8934 haha exactly that my friend, step away from fear and into the real world of the now.
When my oldest was small, I was emotionally unavailable for the most part. I told him to stop crying when he needed me to just hold him. He has struggled with anxiety and depression. His younger brothers, born 7 and 9 years after him, I was different and have been very emotionally available and affectionate. This also changed me to be this way with the oldest. The younger ones are much more self aware confident and doing better mentally than the oldest was at the same age, and he(the oldest) is beginning to get there too. I have him in therapy now and I have communicated all of this to his therapist. This is straight facts, hold the crying child.. no matter how often, or if you are having a bad week. All they need is to feel safe and valid.
As a psychotherapist in this field for 30 years, been saying this when I witnessed young children labeled and drugged, when they were living with traumatized parents/caregivers in unstable, and/or unhealthy environments. Parents/caregivers, wounded children themselves, who couldn't regulate their own nervous system, due to their dysfunctional, unhealthy upbringings. Kids being blamed and labeled as the scapegoat/identified patient, when the whole family system needed overhauled. No specific person is to blame. It's a systems issue. Generational traumas that go unchecked, years of buried sexual trauma people deny, parental mental health issues unaddressed, rampant addictions, etc.
As some who has suffered with an autoimmune disease since birth I am now 28 and in the last 5 years I have been diagnosed with psychosis adhd and ptsd and have been on pharmaceutical medications my whole life in and outta hospital in the last 2 years I have gone off everything and got straight into working and gyming. I went from being 105kg to 75kg in the space of 5 months and I have never felt more proud of myself in my life as I've learnt to harness it 110% turn pain into anger and that anger into power. Jah bless to my fellow brothers and sisters world wide, you got this 🙏❤
I got diagnosed with ADHD as a kid but my mum refused to give me medication and also didn’t tell me about the diagnosis. I was a B’s and C’s student but constantly told by teachers I could get A’s if I applied myself etc. When I was a teenager she told me about it and I felt a bit annoyed with her at first because I felt like I had a medical condition that held me back. Now I’m 30 and having read up on ADHD extensively and listening to this podcast I understand the way I am a lot more now. It also makes me more conscious of being a considerate parent to my daughter, she’s an A’s kind of student.
Who gives the f about a's? I Hope you dont drug your kid with meth.
Grades and ADHD really don't go together. Putting an ADHD child through schooling is like trying to put square pegs into circle holes.
Thank your mother, these medicines harm the cardiovascular system.
@@ryanbrocci4143 oh yeah definitely. I’m so glad she didn’t put me on that stuff
Like your Mom, my Mom refused to accept a diagnosis of me having a learning disorder by a school counselor when I was a small child in the 70s. And like you, when I learned about this years later I, at first, was very upset that she didn’t medicalize the reactions to extreme stress that I was exhibiting. Now that I know about how closely CPTSD resembles ADHD, Asperger’s, etc. and am very thankful that she did this ONE thing right!
This is amazing. My son was diagnosed with ADHD when he was in 5th grade (I think) and the doctor said he wasn’t ready to put him on medication just yet. So thankful for that. But I was looking into how to make his life less stressful and what helps me is to have less stuff on my schedule, a clean house and things to be on a calendar. I helped him do that and haven’t had any issues with him since.
Lemon balm is a popular herb used for children. Ashwaganda as well.
you did a great job
Dude you resumed this so well. I have ADHD and those are exactly the things that makes my life 100x times less stressful and actually feel at peace even though I can never actually reach them!
Doctors will usually first come with tips and tricks before medication. Medication can work but it's not always necessary.
Of course not having any chores or duties growing up will take all the stress away , humanity is weird now
Gabby is One of the sanest men on the planet. Love this info. Joe, i'm now a fan. Gabor is gr8. ty boys
he's a brilliant man, i wish we had more psychologists who had the compassion and patience to see the truth of mental health issues today, get rid of the stigma, teach people the techniques of mind management, emotion management, medication is not always the answer, it seems these days silence is becoming the answer more than anything, then medication, its rare you get help for simple things things let alone complex issues.
@Ruska they go straight INTO college at 18 instead of living life for a bit
It needs to start as early as possible in schools too! Totally agree. Teach our children from an early age how to mange their emotions and feeling, how to
avoid stressful situations or if you do how to cope during that time. Build more confidence, better communication/relationship skills, be more real with our kids and show them a few more realities about life.
I have experienced a nephew with debilitating anxiety. It is like the difference between being depressed and being clinically depressed. I know things like inattention and anxiety seem like things we all deal with but some people have it at a whole other level. There are definately ways to improve it on your own but you have to have the will to do it
In the case with my nephew medication greatly helped him get to a point were he would even TRY to improve himself.
If you’re not anxious about the environment then I don’t think you’re paying attention
@@dillonroach4078 you are describing something typical. Some people have WAY off of typical experiences with anxiety and things like depression and inattention. That is the thing Joe doesn't seem to believe exists.
@@AlexA-ko8lu I've found its something that is hard to understand until you've really seen someone in that like manic anxiety state. It almost needs its own word, because everyone can feel anxious but not everyone really suffers from "anxiety"
@@AlexA-ko8lu Joe has a problem relating to things he hasn't experienced. He does this with a lot of things. It's funny because Joe shows a lot of signs of ADHD lol Maybe he's in denial and doesn't want to acknowledge it. But for a lot of people it's hard to imagine that the anxiety they experience and overcame, can be easily the same for someone else. I didn't understand it much until I developed severe mental health issues in my late teens which led me in an out of psych wards for the next decade. It really is an invisible disease that we need to learn to believe and acccept those who claim they are having issues. It's quite frankly immature and narrow minded to act like these things are made up or people are faking it.
there is no way this guy was 78 years old at the time of this
Yes, he looks way older due to trauma.
Simply brilliant. That is exactly how I raise my child. In love and care and support. I see parents ignoring or even punishing their kids for crying and I don't know if I should approach them and tell them to their face that they are ruining their children. I feel very sad for these kids.
I thought about anxiety the same way as Joe until I had a panic attack, and then reoccurring panic attacks after that over the fear of having another one. Anxiety is a very real thing and it can be debilitating. Oversimplfying it isn't helpful.
Yo fam I’m a small content creator, and I Make a variety of entertaining reactions, vlogs, and a range of other content and I’m still working On quality but I guarantee you will find something you will enjoy!🙏🏾❤
no amount of words can express how much I appreciate this mans understanding and eloquence
This interview changed my life forever.
I can't say one way or another but I would LOVE a discussion between Dr Daniel Amen and Gabor! ❤️❤️❤️
I love Gabor Maté, he really knows what he's talking about. His podcast on Tim Ferris' show was incredibly insightful, because you could watch Tim have one revelation after another. Nothing as complicated as understanding yourself!
If you had to choose one interview with Maté, which would you recommend?
Yo fam I’m a small content creator, and I make a variety of entertaining reactions, vlogs, and a range of other content and I’m still working on quality but I guarantee you will find something you will enjoy!🙏🏾❤
@@leighannf.4730 Definitely Ferris (as mentioned) and Russell Brand, because you have two "uninitiated" people who honestly try to be better human beings and really attain vital knowledge during the conversation. Other than that I recommend watching the documentary Wisdom of Trauma. He talks to terminally ill people, some of whom survived their diagnosed death sentence, just because they finally understood what made them sick.
lets get joes dad on the pod
Im Hungarian didnt even know.who was
This entire clip resonated with me so much. I was diagnosed adhd, ptsd, anxiety and panic attack disorder. I don’t believe anxiety is a chemical imbalance but more of a trauma response. I too felt feelings of abandonment from early child hood which resulted in anxiety in my early 20s. I have made extreme changes and progress as a sufferer med free.
Check out
They sell the best shrooms, dmt, lsd and other psychedelic products and ship discreetly to any location of the world 🍄🌍
Anxiety is neither a chemical imbalance nor a trauma response. Anxiety is completely normal. Anxiety disorders are medical conditions requiring medical treatment.
Absolutely other then the fact I smoke weed but even that isn't doing what it used to do for me
Gabor Mate was Interviewed by Russel Brand around four years ago. Although adhd was not even mentioned during their discussion, something about Gabor seemed to resonate with me. Immediately after listening to the podcast, I checked out audible for books he had written, when 'Scattered Minds' seemed to jump out of the screen. Within less than half an hour I discovered adhd at age 50. Long story short, I was diagnosed a year later. Second to becoming a father, this has been the most significant event of my life.
I grew up in an abusive upbringing and looking back, I had some horrendous things done to me that I would never wish upon on any child. That being said, i was able to develop some skills that most people don’t possess: my intuition in figuring out people’s true intent is almost 99.9% accurate; I’ve become outrageously resilient and can live on bare necessities.
Against all odds, I’m now in highly competitive medical field where without the use of stimulants, there’s ZERO CHANCE that I can function on a day to day basis. Could I have been here and function normally without the meds had my childhood been secure and safe? I don’t know, but I’m glad I’m medicated with the correct diagnosis. Another question is had my childhood been safe, would it have instilled my innate desire to lead me into medicine in the first place? I don’t know.
Also this guest speaker is 80yo physician talking about his antiquated education experience. We do 100% learn about the sociopsychological factors that can lead to psychiatric disorders. The current medication model is the best we have right now and that’s why recommend it.
I have ADHD, I'm positive it's always been here. I'm 28 medicated as of a few months ago. I am back in school, doing better in life. More time in the gym. I'm glad I was NOT medicated as a kid. Because now I have coping skills + the help of the medication. Do I wish I explored it earlier in my 20's sure. But so glad I was not medicated as a kid.
Just wait until those medications turn on you
Agreed. Got medicated at age 24, my child def present similar symptoms but I will not medicate her unless she is a teenager at the youngest and she specifically asks me to do it because she is struggling.
What’s your medication? I tried a few and they all give me anxiety/stress
@@GreyGooseNWO if it stressed you out / gave you anxiety you probably don't have ADHD (absolutely common to *fake* a disorder when your brain convinces you you have it.) Or the medication dose was not high enough. I take adderal but my advise would be really have a long talk about goals with your THERAPIST/PHYCI! Do not go see your primary Dr about any mental illness medication, some are above average Dr's most are average and know about them and how the medication works but don't have experience with it. I started at 5 MG that wasn't enough for me we found 15 was better we think it's due to my muscle mass size / metabolism I eat 5 meals a day following old school body building so dose and medication is per person. My phy said the correct dose is when you increase to the point you can't sleep at night then pull it back a little bit so you can sleep. Kinda like overclocking a PC push it until it crashes then pull it back to where it's stable. Hope that helps and I wish you luck.
Basically. I got medicated in high school and had a similar experience. When I wAs medicated as a child I had no say or any clue what was happening. I was stimmed tf out and they would raise my dose even more. I think that’s the biggest problem with medicating kids
This guy is amazing. I also stopped taking my medication because I have to live with the hope that my brain can change and that I don’t need to be dependent on medication to have a fulfilling life. The medication really depersonalised me, like a work zombie with no emotion. Was useful for what I needed it for, but hurts every other aspect of life.
What were you taking?
Do you suffer bipolar disorder?
Cheers! :)
?
@@emineozturk8670 methylphenidate hydrochloride 15-20mg
I completely agree with this! I stopped taking adderall because of this reason. I didn't feel myself at all man.
I zoned out so many times in this video I had to rewatch it a few times lol
My anxiety and panic disorder came mostly from childhood trauma. I unknowingly self medicated with alcohol for years, but a little while after stopping drinking I began getting random panic attacks throughout the day and have been unable to function as a productive adult for a couple of years now. The only things that seem to help are therapy, a nurture relationship, Klonopin, and THC/CBD. This continues to be an ongoing problem for me. People don't realize how much they are messing there kids up for their future when they are abused, and or neglected.
There is a difference between having anxiety and having an anxiety disorder. I've suffered with anxiety, specifically social anxiety, all my life. I was diagnosed with an anxiety disorder at 18. In the last two years I'd say my anxiety has been the worst it's ever been. It's gotten to the point where I'm genuinely depressed with life every day. Suffering with an anxiety disorder is like having something hold you back from doing anything. It's not the same as being anxious briefly because of an event that recently happened in someone's life. In my case, my mind puts me off from having the confidence to go out and do things. I don't want to stay in all the time, but anyone who knows what I'm talking about will understand how it stops you from enjoying life and it's not the same as "generic" anxiety. or nervousness that people generally get.
check out ajahn brahm ❤
I agree, I have been dealing with anxiety my whole life and it definitely puts a mental "wall" up when it comes to engaging in activities. I really have a hard time going out and doing anything unless I'm doing it with others I'm close with, almost to ride their coat tails.
@@trels203 a 'wall' is exactly what it is. I hate it so much. It also makes me worry about life passing me by and wasting it
I hear you. It's a horrible situation to be in, you want desperately to feel okay and connect with others, but feel as if you are unable to. The more you force it and try, the harder the wall is. You should know that this is more common than you think and your body is reacting in the only way it knows how to - being anxious. It's okay to feel this way.
Could it be possible that you've developed anxiety as a defence mechanism is response to far more stimuli than the average person? What i mean is that what you have may not be different to the average person, just more severe.
For example, someone might develop a response of anger in certain specific situations(stimuli), but a person who you may say has 'anger management issues' has developed anger as a response to many different stimuli, or it's their go to response in most stressful situations.
If this is true in your case, then the cause of, and potential solution to your anxiety may be the same. Recognizing it's a coping mechanism that served a purpose in a whole host of situations at some point in your life but at this stage in your adult life it has become debilitating. Forgive me if I've misunderstood your condition. But, if you agree to a point with anything I've said I recommend a book called 'Fear' by Thich Nhat Hanh, it's a free audiobook on Spotify.
Gabor is one of my favorite humans! I actually emailed the JRE booker, Matt Staggs about having Gabor on few years ago. I'm sure my email was lost in a sea of many others but I'm just so glad to see it happened!
Yo fam I’m a small content creator, and I Make a variety of entertaining reactions, vlogs, and a range of other content and I’m still working On quality but I guarantee you will find something you will enjoy!🙏🏾❤
Listening to this podcast explaining anxiety made me calm. I like this guest 👍
Im 42 and was finally diagnosed last year, my childhood was destroyed by my parents divorce at 6 years old, I remember ALL OF IT.
I cant even remember what i did yesterday, but that I still feel like it just happened.
My Sister was 3 at the time and remembers nothing and was ultimately very stable and successful.
My Mother remarried and my Step Siblings, who were In the same situation, ALL have it too, they were the inspiration for me to finally look into it Decades later
We all VIVDLY remember our respective Parents Break Ups.
We all have ADHD yet my Sister who was very young has Zero Memory of any of it and does not.
To have Family Stability ripped from you so young and you having no idea whats even happening or why sets this off.
Nothing is Stable, Nothing lasts for any period of time, none of this matters once its initially Broken
This finally makes complete sense to me.
Thank you
This guy is so smart and still has the ability to break down high level thought in medicine to anyone who needs it ..
Albert Einstein once said, “Smart people simplify things.”
Link to the clip of rogan kissing max:
ruclips.net/video/CWfd8OjWkwg/видео.html
He's not explaining the full symptom profile of any medical condition. He's also not describing evidence based treatment for any medical condition.
Yo fam I’m a small content creator, and I make a variety of entertaining reactions, vlogs, and a range of other content and I’m still working on quality but I guarantee you will find something you will enjoy!🙏🏾❤
He can do that because his knowledge is clearly very in depth
I’ve had adhd and hyperactivity all my life and I have never……ever heard anyone explain it to me like that before.
I’m exactly what this Doc is saying.
Just brilliant I’m a changed man. Thank you both so much.❤️
Yo fam I’m a small content creator, and I make a variety of entertaining reactions, vlogs, and a range of other content and I’m still working On quality but I guarantee you will find something you will enjoy!🙏🏾❤