Lying, cheating, over and over again, no remorse, no shame, promises with no follow through, toxic is toxic with or without an npd diagnosis, we all had childhoods, most had hard things to deal with as children, nothing excuses abusing another person, usually the one that loves them the deepest is the one that pays the most. Staying in an abusive relationship narcissist or not is not healthy.
That may be true, but a lot of the statistics can be based off people that other people deemed as a narcissist. The person themself may have even believed they were a narcissist. But true narcissists make up a very very small amount of the population. Many of us have narcissist traits like selfishness, but we are not considered to be a real narcissist. It becomes dangerous when you begin to label someone as a narcissist, because then you begin to treat them like they are a narcissist. This can actually cause you to change in a negative way. That's why we advise you avoid it! Thanks for commenting friend!
Absolutely and if they do, they don’t put their true colors out there. I literally watch my husband In confusion when we are with people because he’s like a totally different person
The issue is not if partner has full NPD or just some Narcissist behavior, but are you constantly being negatively affected by such behaviors. Then if so what are you going to do about it? Don't keep making excuses for them but get the help you need !
Hey RUSSELL ABBOT, so sorry to hear you are going through this. Because of the complexity of this situation, we would strongly advise you reach out to us directly! You can call us at 1 (866) 903 0990 and be connected with one of our Client Representatives who will guide you to the best resources we have available for your situation. You can also schedule the call yourself for a time that works best for you by following this link: marriagehelper.com/marriage-strategy-call/ We look forward to speaking with you directly if you will allow it!
@@MarriageHelper My life was almost destroyed by narcisitic parent Now I am dealing with friend whose is dealing with crazy narcissistic partner. But just like you I was trying to tell him that this is a normal conflict. And I was wrong. With all due respect I think you have no idea what the narcissism is !!! Narcissist do not go to therapy and their numbers are under reported. Please educate yourself and stop victim blaming. As you are doing more harm than good. Please listen to Dr. Ramani and maybe your eyes are open. YOU DO NOT HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT THE NARCISSIST ABUSE IS AND HOW IT CAN DESTROY LIFE
It seems like she’s defending the people who treat their families badly. There is a difference between being selfish sometimes and being emotionally abusive and destructive. At this point it doesn’t matter about a diagnoses. You are seeking help to get to a safe place.
So glad to find this. After watching so many videos about narcissism, I was almost convinced but there was something holding me back. I thought I was just in denial but there were just a couple of things that didn't fit. This video helped tremendously.
single handedly too...(or maybe social media is destroying our society with sensationalism and false info - but I don't see these NON CLINICAL ppl, making unlawful diagnosis being filtered)
If you are married to a narcissist you will KNOW it! They will drain you, disrespect you and devalue you--and it's not because they are in a temporary bad place.
Excellent video. Best I've seen on the subject thus far. There are so many youtube videos about this , you would think that NPD was affecting half the population.
I'm researching narcissism. And discovering my husband & I are both narcissistic 🤣 I'm just glad I'm smart enough to recognize narcissist personality traits & not a complete disorder. A disorder is huge & needs diagnosed. We all carry traits of narcissism.
I have always believed my H is 8 out of 9, its always about him, uses people to get what he wants then tosses them, always talking about how good looking he is, has no empathy for people, is a liar, friends don't want anything to do with him, bio children gone, says he doesnt need therapy. I am his 5th wife and he cheated on me twice and is in another affair plus an alcoholic. So is he one? Or is it that his childhood trauma of his mother abandoning him when he was little? He continues this circle of destruction...hope he is not a narc! Don't want to abandon him, but what can I do?
It is also not that common for a narcissist to seek help and when they do it’s a manipulation tactic and they often hide it from the therapist. And covert narcissists are the worst.
Be careful I’m married to one and this guy is turning the narcissist thing around on me because I called him out for lying constantly. Now he’s not talking to me and I’m not about to beg him, and I’m the one who seems cold and always pissed off with him because I can’t deal with him gaslighting me anymore. I called him a lier and he thinks that I’m insulting him, nevermind him lying or manipulating! And then when I finally lose my shit I’m the short tempered women who matches all this shit. But I don’t think highly of myself, I just don’t want a compulsive lier!
Married 16 years, completely neglected and ignored. Now I suspect that he cheated but he said it was only light flirting (wink and smiles) and only when I was around. I'm scared and angry.
People were talking about removing all the personality disorders in favor of a more wholistic approach, eliminating the need for a clinical/subclinical distinction. It might happen in DSM VI. The counter argument of course is to say that essentially all mental health condition is on a scale. That shouldn’t devalue the existence of cases where there is a very distinct, pervasive pattern of debilitating behavior. You can’t just throw out every diagnosis because each is accompanied by a subclinical spectrum.
I disagree with this video. Toxicity in marriage to the point where a well-adjusted individual begins to feel depressed, anxious, questioning their own reality is emotional abuse and not a cause to stay in marriage or try to fix it. I agree with the tendency of people to self diagnose because humanistically we try to make sense of things, but many who are doing this are experiencing emotional abuse for several years and that is not a reason to try to stay in a marriage.
My wife called me a narcissist. I didn’t even know what a narcissist is. I’m not sure she diagnosed me on her own or her therapist who has never met me diagnosed me as such based on what she has been told. This is the exact video I needed. I wish I could send it to my wife but she is convinced I am a narcissist and refuses to see it differently.
This is exactly what happened to me! My wife’s counselor diagnosed me as a narcissist without ever meeting me. My wife’s whole demeanor changed towards me after that and just a few months after that she filed for divorce! I’m so incredibly heartbroken.
I want to thank you for this breakdown because I have a serious question! How do you get help when you can't afford it? No one is helping the people who can't afford it-only charging. I'm in direct sales myself, but I am struggling right now, just as many are. Life goes on, I know, but there are some less fortunate people out there that need mental help but can't afford it. And marriage help.
She started by overdosing me with love for three years, jealousy with every female that I spoke to, even my cousin.and she kept telling me I was so handsome. She gave me everything, yes everything including extreme amounts of intimacy. Then something changed after our second was born. She was distant, she uses her phone a lot, she’s always silent and she withholds intimacy from me. I can’t even get a hug or a kiss. She hides her face when she hugs me. She lied about having pictures on Instagram, nothing offensive I think. She has some DM’s that are being sent to her by various guys. I think she’s looking for attention. We are married with two kids and a 12 year relationship. I’m so tired, I’m so tired of thinking up reasons and excuses for her.
I disagree .... for me ? It took a long while of watching video’s like this and found ALL / everything fits my wife like a glove .... the lies.... the out of this world foul nasty names only I get called I watch her turn on and off her personality so fake .. how many days living with the silent treatment.. I will nit even get into her BOTH parents are narcs... contacted a marriage counselor that has been involved in our marriage now for 2-3 months .. oh .. did I mention I’m the only one who talks with him? That she always has a reason for not talking to him when the only real reason is she will be found out
The first thing you said on this about all those things going about not talking or her thinking everything I do is wrong and all that all those items are going on in my marriage and she does not speak to me she's putting me in a silent mode so you tell me how I can find a solution I will gladly listen to you cuz you guys are wonderful she allows no communication between us but she still living at home
Thank you for these words. There is so much of Narcisist spouse related stuff in my recomandation list. I need to hear a litle bit more reason and you explanation gave me just that. Thank you.
My husband wants to divorce, i have asked him what is his solid reason why hr wants to divorce, answer is Trust and he doesn't love me. I told him that we can do a program to work through our marriage but his adamant and doesn't want to do any therapy to amend our marriage. Is this a narcissist?
My wife has been contortive and was so insecure about everything but I’ve let it slide till now and she and I are unfortunately unhappy but still love each other
I wish I could make a video and be beside you I truly do understand where you're coming from to say that somebody's not a bad person attractions are evil and wicked and manipulative and harm Gaslight psychologically play with a person's find they're not a bad person they're just flawed we all are unbelievable
This channel isn't geared towards that. What they do is help ppl save their marriages, not focus on diagnoses. If you want to learn specifically about narcissism there are several other platforms for that.
This video actually made me angry. She clearly has no clue about being married to a narcissist. Abuse - no excuse! The moment you realise it - start planing your exit. Empathy towards them?? Relationship moving forward?? They will eat you alive if you stay.
Your wrong. This video is spot on. Only a trained professional can diagnose someone with a personality disorder. No different than how a doctor can diagnose someone with a disease. This is common sense. Or at least should be!
Hey Vaida Arobelidze, thank you for your comment. However, we disagree. We believe there is ALWAYS hope for a marriage no matter what. If you have had a bad experience in the past that has caused you to feel this way, we understand wholeheartedly. But there is always hope. If you change your mind and decide you would like to seek help for your marriage, we would love to talk to you and will always remain a safe place for you. You can call us directly at 1 866 903 0990 if you'd like to chat. Blessings,
Lying, cheating, over and over again, no remorse, no shame, promises with no follow through, toxic is toxic with or without an npd diagnosis, we all had childhoods, most had hard things to deal with as children, nothing excuses abusing another person, usually the one that loves them the deepest is the one that pays the most.
Staying in an abusive relationship narcissist or not is not healthy.
Correct 👌
It might be rare because MOST narcissistic people dont seek professional help, so they are not included in the statistical analysis.
That may be true, but a lot of the statistics can be based off people that other people deemed as a narcissist. The person themself may have even believed they were a narcissist. But true narcissists make up a very very small amount of the population. Many of us have narcissist traits like selfishness, but we are not considered to be a real narcissist. It becomes dangerous when you begin to label someone as a narcissist, because then you begin to treat them like they are a narcissist. This can actually cause you to change in a negative way. That's why we advise you avoid it!
Thanks for commenting friend!
Absolutely and if they do, they don’t put their true colors out there. I literally watch my husband In confusion when we are with people because he’s like a totally different person
The issue is not if partner has full NPD or just some Narcissist behavior, but are you constantly being negatively affected by such behaviors. Then if so what are you going to do about it? Don't keep making excuses for them but get the help you need !
Hey RUSSELL ABBOT, so sorry to hear you are going through this. Because of the complexity of this situation, we would strongly advise you reach out to us directly! You can call us at 1 (866) 903 0990 and be connected with one of our Client Representatives who will guide you to the best resources we have available for your situation. You can also schedule the call yourself for a time that works best for you by following this link: marriagehelper.com/marriage-strategy-call/
We look forward to speaking with you directly if you will allow it!
@@MarriageHelper My life was almost destroyed by narcisitic parent Now I am dealing with friend whose is dealing with crazy narcissistic partner. But just like you I was trying to tell him that this is a normal conflict. And I was wrong. With all due respect I think you have no idea what the narcissism is !!! Narcissist do not go to therapy and their numbers are under reported. Please educate yourself and stop victim blaming. As you are doing more harm than good. Please listen to Dr. Ramani and maybe your eyes are open. YOU DO NOT HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT THE NARCISSIST ABUSE IS AND HOW IT CAN DESTROY LIFE
It seems like she’s defending the people who treat their families badly. There is a difference between being selfish sometimes and being emotionally abusive and destructive. At this point it doesn’t matter about a diagnoses. You are seeking help to get to a safe place.
Then you get help. Simple
You didn't listen to a thing she said. well done.
It’s hard to empathize with somebody who has no ounce of empathy.
So glad to find this. After watching so many videos about narcissism, I was almost convinced but there was something holding me back. I thought I was just in denial but there were just a couple of things that didn't fit. This video helped tremendously.
Social media has definitely upped the number of narcissist
single handedly too...(or maybe social media is destroying our society with sensationalism and false info - but I don't see these NON CLINICAL ppl, making unlawful diagnosis being filtered)
If you are married to a narcissist you will KNOW it! They will drain you, disrespect you and devalue you--and it's not because they are in a temporary bad place.
Excellent video. Best I've seen on the subject thus far. There are so many youtube videos about this , you would think that NPD was affecting half the population.
I'm researching narcissism. And discovering my husband & I are both narcissistic 🤣 I'm just glad I'm smart enough to recognize narcissist personality traits & not a complete disorder. A disorder is huge & needs diagnosed. We all carry traits of narcissism.
I cannot thank you enough for this message! This is absolutely an answer to many prayers!!!
How do you pass it on without being accused of being a controlling narcissist?
@@mickboyce386 um, what?
I have always believed my H is 8 out of 9, its always about him, uses people to get what he wants then tosses them, always talking about how good looking he is, has no empathy for people, is a liar, friends don't want anything to do with him, bio children gone, says he doesnt need therapy. I am his 5th wife and he cheated on me twice and is in another affair plus an alcoholic. So is he one? Or is it that his childhood trauma of his mother abandoning him when he was little? He continues this circle of destruction...hope he is not a narc! Don't want to abandon him, but what can I do?
It is also not that common for a narcissist to seek help and when they do it’s a manipulation tactic and they often hide it from the therapist. And covert narcissists are the worst.
Be careful I’m married to one and this guy is turning the narcissist thing around on me because I called him out for lying constantly. Now he’s not talking to me and I’m not about to beg him, and I’m the one who seems cold and always pissed off with him because I can’t deal with him gaslighting me anymore. I called him a lier and he thinks that I’m insulting him, nevermind him lying or manipulating! And then when I finally lose my shit I’m the short tempered women who matches all this shit. But I don’t think highly of myself, I just don’t want a compulsive lier!
Married 16 years, completely neglected and ignored. Now I suspect that he cheated but he said it was only light flirting (wink and smiles) and only when I was around. I'm scared and angry.
People were talking about removing all the personality disorders in favor of a more wholistic approach, eliminating the need for a clinical/subclinical distinction. It might happen in DSM VI. The counter argument of course is to say that essentially all mental health condition is on a scale. That shouldn’t devalue the existence of cases where there is a very distinct, pervasive pattern of debilitating behavior. You can’t just throw out every diagnosis because each is accompanied by a subclinical spectrum.
Exactly
Finally - someone speaking some FACT BASED sense. Thank you for presenting this!!!
I disagree with this video. Toxicity in marriage to the point where a well-adjusted individual begins to feel depressed, anxious, questioning their own reality is emotional abuse and not a cause to stay in marriage or try to fix it. I agree with the tendency of people to self diagnose because humanistically we try to make sense of things, but many who are doing this are experiencing emotional abuse for several years and that is not a reason to try to stay in a marriage.
Agree.
I think you may want to rewatch the video.
My wife called me a narcissist. I didn’t even know what a narcissist is. I’m not sure she diagnosed me on her own or her therapist who has never met me diagnosed me as such based on what she has been told. This is the exact video I needed. I wish I could send it to my wife but she is convinced I am a narcissist and refuses to see it differently.
This is exactly what happened to me! My wife’s counselor diagnosed me as a narcissist without ever meeting me. My wife’s whole demeanor changed towards me after that and just a few months after that she filed for divorce! I’m so incredibly heartbroken.
I want to thank you for this breakdown because I have a serious question!
How do you get help when you can't afford it?
No one is helping the people who can't afford it-only charging.
I'm in direct sales myself, but I am struggling right now, just as many are. Life goes on, I know, but there are some less fortunate people out there that need mental help but can't afford it. And marriage help.
Hi, I don’t have an answer for you but I wanted to let you know I’m in a similar situation. I hope you and I are both able to find help.
She started by overdosing me with love for three years, jealousy with every female that I spoke to, even my cousin.and she kept telling me I was so handsome. She gave me everything, yes everything including extreme amounts of intimacy. Then something changed after our second was born. She was distant, she uses her phone a lot, she’s always silent and she withholds intimacy from me. I can’t even get a hug or a kiss. She hides her face when she hugs me.
She lied about having pictures on Instagram, nothing offensive I think. She has some DM’s that are being sent to her by various guys. I think she’s looking for attention.
We are married with two kids and a 12 year relationship.
I’m so tired, I’m so tired of thinking up reasons and excuses for her.
Thanks for this video. I now believe mine is Not a narcissist. He has some of those qualities but he’s not a narcissist ❤️❤️
Thank you for this video! This is right on!
Thank You! Very timely for me in this season of standing for our marriage! !!
This was so good. So true.
I can see your point, and it makes a lot of sense if we think about it. Thank you for your clarity.
My narcissist wife divorced me and kept my possessions.
I disagree .... for me ? It took a long while of watching video’s like this and found ALL / everything fits my wife like a glove .... the lies.... the out of this world foul nasty names only I get called I watch her turn on and off her personality so fake .. how many days living with the silent treatment.. I will nit even get into her BOTH parents are narcs... contacted a marriage counselor that has been involved in our marriage now for 2-3 months .. oh .. did I mention I’m the only one who talks with him? That she always has a reason for not talking to him when the only real reason is she will be found out
Thank you for this video! Even though he’s giving me the silent treatment for two months again, I won’t diagnose him.
The first thing you said on this about all those things going about not talking or her thinking everything I do is wrong and all that all those items are going on in my marriage and she does not speak to me she's putting me in a silent mode so you tell me how I can find a solution I will gladly listen to you cuz you guys are wonderful she allows no communication between us but she still living at home
Thank you for these words. There is so much of Narcisist spouse related stuff in my recomandation list. I need to hear a litle bit more reason and you explanation gave me just that. Thank you.
My husband wants to divorce, i have asked him what is his solid reason why hr wants to divorce, answer is Trust and he doesn't love me. I told him that we can do a program to work through our marriage but his adamant and doesn't want to do any therapy to amend our marriage. Is this a narcissist?
Mam, thank you, your so right
This help me a lots.
My wife has been contortive and was so insecure about everything but I’ve let it slide till now and she and I are unfortunately unhappy but still love each other
I wish I could make a video and be beside you I truly do understand where you're coming from to say that somebody's not a bad person attractions are evil and wicked and manipulative and harm Gaslight psychologically play with a person's find they're not a bad person they're just flawed we all are unbelievable
May be your spouse has ADD and is not yet diagnosed and his life is falling apart, decade after decade.
Mine is more of a sociopath
Totally incorrect to say that somebody's not capable to honestly look at another person's actions and see if there consistent totally disagree
im still married but my wife sleeping in bed with another man
I am sorry to hear that.Pray for WISDOM to know how best to handle the situation.
I think she's a Narcissist 😯
Make more video about narcicist
This channel isn't geared towards that. What they do is help ppl save their marriages, not focus on diagnoses. If you want to learn specifically about narcissism there are several other platforms for that.
Great video thanks for sharing.
Thanks for watching!
This video actually made me angry. She clearly has no clue about being married to a narcissist. Abuse - no excuse! The moment you realise it - start planing your exit. Empathy towards them?? Relationship moving forward?? They will eat you alive if you stay.
This isn't the platform for you.
Your wrong. This video is spot on. Only a trained professional can diagnose someone with a personality disorder. No different than how a doctor can diagnose someone with a disease. This is common sense. Or at least should be!
Hey Vaida Arobelidze, thank you for your comment. However, we disagree. We believe there is ALWAYS hope for a marriage no matter what. If you have had a bad experience in the past that has caused you to feel this way, we understand wholeheartedly. But there is always hope. If you change your mind and decide you would like to seek help for your marriage, we would love to talk to you and will always remain a safe place for you. You can call us directly at 1 866 903 0990 if you'd like to chat. Blessings,
Wooho! I m cured!