Bert Kreischer: The Machine Special
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- Опубликовано: 29 май 2023
- You've seen it on @Netflix and now it's available HERE on my RUclips channel. Check out #TheMachine special and then watch #TheMACHINEmovie!
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Приколы
![Finesse2Tymes FT Youngboy - Traumatized [Official Music Video]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/PV8BIX1mYBM/mqdefault.jpg)
Only Burt would buy his own special back, and then put it out for free on RUclips unannounced. This guy is great.
Hé did that ??? Why ???
@@DocOrtmeyer for his fans.
Didn’t Andrew Shultz do that too?
@@jeanakatherine9369idk but I'd believe it, he's dope too
That's why it's like super monetized playing 2 ads every 5-10mins... 😂 He can make more money from it this way, because YT is actually very lucrative for someone that can get tons of views, watch time and ad views. Much more then a netflix deal.
Bert, thank you. Netflix broke up with me, so this is the first time I have seen you do your thing. Glorious.
You mean your to broke to pay for Netflix
@@tylerwestman5258 Naw just sucks dick now. No sense in paying something that you never use
@@tylerwestman5258 you’re *
@@tylerwestman5258 No. They will not allow me to stream movies.
@@tylerwestman5258 also like the entire thing with netflix is that your family could all have it.
Just saw The Machine and it was awesome! Go support so we can have more comedies with our favorite comics!
Great job Bert!🖤💛👍🤟✌️
Looking forward to seeing the movie in the UK!
WE ❤ COMEDY
I saw it friday.. any news on the numbers?
@@Chronicoverburn 4.9 million opening weekend
@@brenrei I just read over $8M
Greatest topless comedian alive right now. Best energy for fans. Thanks for all the funny.
Haha, you mean the only comedian to take his shirt off!!! LoL!!!
Took my little brother to see the movie, we had a great time he had never heard the story and when we got home I saw this was on RUclips, perfect time! Thanks bert
The Machine story is the Stairway to Heaven of comedy. Just epic and never gets old! 😎
Never gets old? It's old man, seriously.
Yeah, I'm bored of that "story" also and all he has left is being an alcoholic. And having alcoholic stories being told about him
His kids even make fun of him about it. Baby seal
Bert, please put more of your specials on RUclips!! you are the only reason I ever had a Netflix subscription 😭 please it would make my whole year if you uploaded more of your specials on here!!
Watched this at work while washing dishes, have never laughed so hard 😂
43 people got their meal on a dirty plate. 4 people died from the scum on the forks and knives.
@@curlyb 😠 I know how to multitask.
Bullshit! BOT ALERT
you can't be serious
@@frarfarf I didn't laugh at all
Glad you had bonding with your youngest daughter. My youngest daughter is the absolute best ever! Great story, Im laughing and crying at the same time.
I know this special was made several years ago, so by now Isla is in high school or something... I wonder how that kid is doing. To hear Bert tell it, she sounds destined for special things 😊
I didn't know he was this funny bruh 😭 I've seen a few podcast episodes but I'll definitely be tuning in more and looking out for specials
Everyone is quick to open their flappers and bag on him. I personally don’t get it he is funny! sure maybe not for everyone and that’s just fine but damn the keyboard warriors are real.
This special is over 10 years old 😭 (maybe even more like 15)
Yes Bert definitely _was_ funny at one point! But there are _very few_ comics who manage to *stay* as funny as when they blew up 💯
Look at other guys that were *massive* at one point like Dane Cook, Carlos Mencia, Chris Delia, etc. Hell even Kevin Hart's recent specials are 🗑 if you put them side by side with his early stand up‼️
Point is, this was in Bert's heyday when they were literally making movies based on his life and stuff (it was a van wilder or national lampoon movie lol don't remember the title)
He doesn't deserve the hate as if he _was never funny..._ But just like *most* comedians who don't move on into a new avenue after a few specials (like TV, movies, etc.) He's _clearly_ past his comedic prime and coasting on the coattails of success from his _former_ relevance 💯
@@EmpressOfExile206 Ah ok that makes sense. I still think his podcast eps are pretty funny but yeah I could see it, this was elite lol
I saw Bert a few months ago in Brisbane and he was the greatest act I’ve ever seen
That's because you've never seen anyone else. So, no kidding
I saw your movie on the 23rd, the theater messed up your pre-release but in the funniest way possible!
So I show up on time and walk in to the livestream red carpet thing on the screen, ok time to settle in. So we all watch the livestream, unfortunately it was only me & 3 couples and we're all obviously fans so we get excited when the preshow ends... for a black screen that essentially says "someone's gotta press play." Everyone patiently waits about 30 seconds and I can hear squirming in the seats. About 30 seconds later someone says "maybe we should go get somebody" and I respond "you read my mind I just pulled up the number, I'll call". The teenager that answered the phone couldn't grasp me:
Me- "hey, so I'm in theater 10 and someone needs to come press play".
Her- "What do you mean? You're in the theater your movie will start shortly."
Me- "I am in the theater, and the screen literally says someone needs to do something to start the feature"
Her- "Why would it... um..." rustling and other voices "well it should start soon"
Me- "cause you're sending someone to start it or?"
Her-"um yea someone's on the way"
Click
I announce to my now family (we've been through some shit so yea) "they may or may not be on their way, I have little faith but we'll see." About a minute later you can hear sounds from the projection area shuffling or something and they finally manage to press play about 5 minutes late! I'm glad it happened, I will never forget the day I saw THE MACHINE!!!
Love this. I haven't seen the movie yet so I was waiting for this story end with Bert's theater wide pranking. 😂 Somehow the fact it wasn't the case makes your comment hilarious to me. Now I'll always remember the first time you saw the movie too.
Watched the machine movie with my best friends the other day, and it easily became one of my favorites ever. My dad introduced me to you with this special. This special for me is like how you and your dad watch Butch and Sundance. Love you Bert.
This is the stand up that convinced me I should try stand up at least once in my life but now that I think I can do a open mic I’m waiting to try an open mic night while Bert is at the mother ship because I have a similar story excluding Russia. Thank you Bert for trying to bring comedy movies and comedy back to our culture.
ты машина!!
I wanna know the story 😂
Blessings and luck !!
This man is legendary!! As real and raw as it gets!!
You're the greatest man. Been a fan since 1997 you always kicking it like the machine, which by the way is awesome. Thanks for the laughs when I didn't feel like smiling.
I have listened to Bert on tons of podcasts but never heard his stand up! He doesn’t disappoint!!!
I just stumbled across this and I'm dying! Funniest dude I've ever heard. I simply have to see him live now. Completely original and as much as he is self deprecating, he has to know how great he is! Probably no chance he ever reads this but Bert!!! You're Amazingly Hilarious! Thank you!!! I needed that.
Thats cap
Love ya Bert will get to the movie as soon as I can. Live in small town MN so it’s a bit of a drive to anywhere they are actually playing it.
Saw the movie last night!!!!! Loved it! Can’t wait to buy it
Great reminder how funny this special was!! So many negative comments if your not a fan no one is forcing you to watch/comment
from the whole 1hr and 10 minutes show i laughed almost like 50+ minutes my jaw and cheeks got cramps 😂😂😂😂😂
I read multiple RUclips comments saying he was the unfunniest comic so it brought me here
@@heyho7892 theyre all just haters.. or people who thinks that their taste in comedy is better than others...
its true...he's extremely overrated...people mistake his shirtless energy for funny@@heyho7892
This was a great act. Loved it and laughed out loud so many time hahahaha, thanks for the work of art
We are going to need a sequel 💯
Too funny. I have heard this like eight times and this eighth time is still hilarious and has me literally laughing out loud.
Not me
@@Daddykins303 I dont think anyone asked for ur opinion but ok
@@N0Sm4rtA55e5 apparently you don't understand what a comment section is
@@Daddykins303 Dude ive seen you reply to like 6 different comments shit talking the movie and Bert like if you dont like Bert and his stuff just stfu about it
Bots
Congrats on the movie Bert! I had a great time and also am glad to see your specials moving to YT!
Yeah, cause nothing like Bert repeating himself on the few things that worked (albeit complete bullshit)
made it 100 likes xd not even reading it, i saw 99 cant have that now right?
movie bombed lol
PFF LOL
Hey Bert! I saw your movie on Tuesday. Loved it!😂😂😂
Take care,may you continue to be successful and God Bless you and your's!!!😊
Story telling master class.
This video more than doubled in views in less than 1 hour. 🎉 👏 Congrats Bert.
Cant wait to see the movie, wish i could see it in theatres but i live 5 hours away from any theatre but i will be buying the bluray
I know you wont read this but we all appreciate what you do and congratulate you on achieving your dream
The whole special! Thank you so much Brett
Brett Crystals
The movie was great, happy to see comedies on the big screen again
The legit first time I’ve ever actually stayed laughing all the way through a comedy show, started hurting my cheeks and I couldn’t top crying
YOU ARE A BOT!!!!!! BOT ALERT
@@royalvibes4433 yeah I know, I’m ChatGPT😂
Absolutely amazing thank you so much!!
Im putting this in my bookmarks so I can watch it whenever
I took one of my friends to your movie this last weekend. It was great! Much love
Gotta love free specials. You're a gangster Burt!
Congratulations on your movie! It was fantastic! 🎉🎉🎉
I watched #themachinemovie in theatre while I was driving across Canada to get back home to the Yukon. The theatre I watched at, in Saskatoon was packed! Your awesome man. Thanks for making us laugh! I really hope your movie does well!
Okay berty boy
Omg! So excited for you to come to Casper, WY! Wish we could party with the machine!
I found this after the First we feast video. You're something else 😂 I can't wait to watch your movie!!!😅
Dude im watching this while delivering packages. You have my crying laughing all the way to people houses. I had listened to some of your bits and loved them but this was next level!!!
This is years old. And the joke is extremely boring now. The most we can hope for is Bert 💀 from alcoholism.
I want your job
I listen to burt all the time on my routes ! Who do you deliver for ?
Knock and then scratch
@@lex19xx. FX
Congrats Bert!
Loved the film, it was fun and exciting. I hope it signals the return of a great comedy era in movies.
Can't wait till your movies on DVD. Instant buy!!!
Can't wait to see it!
Proud of you buddy!
That was great to see again!!!
Thank you for the video! ☺ ♥
Congrats on the movie and on posting this to RUclips!
The movie was great!
We love you Bruce, your movie was great!
OMG Just watched Bert for the first time in The Machine, and I had no idea he is actually a comedian.
THE MAN, THE MYTH, THE LEGEND, THE MOTHAFUCKKKINNN MACHINEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
Congratulations on getting the rights to your special back! I enjoyed the movie, so much fun. I know you don't read the comments (smart), but I wanted to send my Congratulations🎉on all your hard earned success.
I’m back here because of the movie. Watched this 10 times already and still enjoy
I was having a terrible day. You made my day so much better. I love you Machine! Don't get too excited. I'm a dude in my early 30's and not a hot chick.
😂😂😂😂😂
Absolutely loved the movie big man!!! The theater i went to was completely packed. Bought my tickets a couple months in advance and it was about half full then. A real home run ❤❤❤
BRUCE KREISCHER!
Waiting for the machine to show up at my theatre hopefully soon !
Hell yeah this was great, this is the first time ive seen or heard of this guy and i enjoyed every second of it
Hope the weekend results are favorable!
Congrats Bert, you've earned all of this 🍻
Sir, you are awesome... Forever
Perfect timing to drop this
Literally been watching this with the worst stomach pains distracting it, it’s so funny I keep laughing and making it worse. Anyway I’m 47min in and my stomach is worse, I can’t stop, worth it 💀
Really? I didn't even smile. I look like I was just raped and wallet stolen for wasting 40 min of my life.
@@anthonyjonas6236bots
BOT ALERT
You've come so far.
Legend status achieved ❤
Love that ending line 😂 golden
The part about his wife and the carrots 🥕 had me dieing ... The tricks all women use. @brettkrishna you killed it.
🤘🤩🤘
🤯💭 mind blown ...
That was awesome-
heard this many times still SPECIAL
This was absolutely hilarious, great watch!
Listening to this walking down the street and creeping people out as I grin ear to ear and giggle as I walk down the street making eye contact with everyone.
My autism traits include making direct eye contact to the point of discomfort for all parties, too. Bystanders included. I feel you. Well, I mean I understand feelings exist.
See da movie so worth it
Lol, same!! 🤣😂
Damn this was genius and hilarious I truly loved this !
Omgsh. My friend sent this to me. And it had me ugly laughing 😂 she is. Ur so awesome “DA MACHINNNE 😂”. Blessed. Christina
Love this, the movie, and Bert!!
I saw The Machine on Memorial Day. Loved it!
Im just relaxing in bed watching and I just laughed so hard at you jumping out the plane with Rachel Ray I bounced my head of my wall😂
Thank you for this crazy funny show! Had me in tears! Way to go The Machine !!
Marshmallow! Marshmallow💅
MARSHMALLOW👹
Hilarious! I hardly ever watch standup and even more rarely laugh out loud at something I'm watching by myself and this made me crack up several times, making it an absolute gem as far as entertainment goes. Thank you so much, Bert. I really needed the escape from reality, which hasn't provided much opportunity to be cheerful recently, and you delivered in spades. I almost felt a little sad when I realized it was over, so I subbed and I'm about to go see what other amusements I might find in your catalog.
Love you Bert! Long time fan! Thanks for doin what u do
I don't even care the movie had bad reviews, it was a comidic display of you amazing talent and ability to make me laugh my ass off. Thanks for the great comedy.
Oh the movie was fucking amazing!
Man this makes me so pissed I couldn't see the movie. All theaters within an hour from me only showed it 1 time and 1 date: 10pm on Thursday May 25th, nothing more. Did anyone else have this problem?
I am still watching for other dates and times but have found none. I know Bert will make something else happen with The Machine movie to make it more available, but I hope he's not too locked into contracts that make it take forever.
Here to party
@bertkreischer it never gets old man! Glad to see you at the top of the stand up comedy game!
You, my friend are a fuckin riot! Thank you for all the laughs! I really needed that right now!!
1.Turn on closed captions
2. Please welcome fur pressure
3. Hear Tom's laugh in my head
Amazing Bert! Loved watching you grow over the years.
not a full on comedic, but excellent stage presence and a phenomenal story teller! Trust me Bert that means a lot you should be a damn writer. Excellent!
The machine was one of the best movies of recent time
Thats funnier than any joke hes told
WE ❤ U BERT!
Thanks for the movie it was great. Took about 10 of my friends with me. We loved it. Congratulations.❤
Congrats on having 10 friends
@@Vanilla_Sun 😂
I guess there's something wrong with me because I just can't get on board with him. Glad to see so much sucess though! Seems like a great dude.
I feel like you'd have to have a good imagination to find these funny, I love his jokes becaus they seem so unrealistic that you can picture it your head.
It’s just a flatline to me
Gonna watch the movie as soon as I can
Loved it!
❤
Just went to see the machine. I couldn't be more proud of bert. Everything was perfect! Thank you.
Haha, why is every single comment either this guy isn't funny, or this guy is the funniest, and that's it?
Cuz he not funny
Seems like comments are also disappearing. 🤔 I'm not seeing any "hate" comments anymore, only supportive ones.
He's fucking hilarious
@FortniteGod-nm9ns then don't t watch it