Tips for Stress Management

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  • Опубликовано: 12 дек 2024

Комментарии • 60

  • @trebaneconapise7793
    @trebaneconapise7793 8 месяцев назад +17

    I don't know if this is appropriate and I really don't mean it as an insult, but it's really validating to see Jono's (and Alan's) weight and muscle mass fluctuate in your videos, it's great representation of real human beings who have their ups and downs and don't go through monstrous workouts and dehydration to constantly look like a Marvel actor. I'm currently extremely stressed about university entrance exams for psychology, stress-eating is a thing and replaced "working out" for yoga a few months ago, and even though I know I'm living healthy, it's still extremely hard to not feel bad because of the insane beauty ideals of this society we've all internalized. I've been a fan of Cinema Therapy since 2020, watching Mended Light as well, and you've taught me a lot over the years. So thank you so much.

    • @MendedLight
      @MendedLight  8 месяцев назад +13

      Honestly, I've been feeling low about my own body image and the very fluctuations you speak of, so reading your comments refaming this as a positive really made my day. Thank you!

    • @trebaneconapise7793
      @trebaneconapise7793 8 месяцев назад +5

      @@MendedLight I really wasn't expecting a reply and this is so sweet. Hope you have a good week. :)

  • @sarahburgess7306
    @sarahburgess7306 8 месяцев назад +21

    I tried to outwork stress this week...it did not work. You're not alone, Alicia.

  • @frisia8190
    @frisia8190 8 месяцев назад +25

    I get into this destructive habit of thinking how I should’ve / could’ve done better. When I’m trying to get some rest under stress I just feel worse because I’m doing anything to fix the issue. ITS SO UNHEALTHY

  • @s_napps
    @s_napps 7 месяцев назад +1

    “I either need to cry or hit something.” My dear god Alicia, I felt that in my heart 😂

  • @amalie.eugenie
    @amalie.eugenie 8 месяцев назад +10

    It's interesting that Alicia is listing so many physical things when she's talking about what comforts her.
    I often forget about my body when I'm stressed and just notice my emotions and want to talk about them or just feel them while daydreaming or listening to music. Or watch RUclips videos like these. So everything more in the head than in the body.
    And I really love the golden nugget Alicia talked about!

  • @AGirlwithherHelmet
    @AGirlwithherHelmet 8 месяцев назад +2

    As a highly sensitive person, I get stressed easily just by living life. Being rushed. Being invited to play some first-person shooter video games with colleagues. Etc. I always thought being more tolerant of stress was the way to go because I saw how people who aren't highly sensitive can do things quickly and be okay with it. I guess today I learn something new

  • @Nina_Hallsjo
    @Nina_Hallsjo 8 месяцев назад +8

    As a single mother of three little ones under 6yr, I’m constantly stressed and worried about everything (what to eat for dinner, getting ready on time, if I give each one enough time and attention, money etc etc). The only thing that lowers my stress is to stop, breathe, and focus on my surroundings. What do I hear? How does my sweater feel? What does my toddlers hair smell like (peanut butter usually)? What is my three year old ACTUALLY trying to tell me when she starts screaming at her mittens in the morning? It brings my mind back and I can focus on the issue at hand. My son even reminded me the other day “you’re thinking too much, mummy. Just do on thing at the time and it’ll be easier” ❤❤❤

  • @chaz7604
    @chaz7604 8 месяцев назад +8

    Warmth is happiness… so me! She says clutching a hot water bottle!!
    I love soothing guided meditations, positive short term distractions like comedy etc. or having a relaxing chamomile tea and giving myself a hug.
    Grounding techniques like breathing exercises, somatic experiencing of feeling the sensation of the emotion in our body, crying it out, holistic healing practices like sound cradles and sound baths, venting to a friend (who can take it and have time and won’t be overwhelmed) as that can just release it and can then help you get another angle or advice (if needed / wanted), EFT tapping is wonderful.
    Oh and firstly… have I eaten well, exercised or slept? Cos those three are key factors that may be contributing to something you may normally be able to handle you’re not currently able to x

  • @Oracle_Ocelot
    @Oracle_Ocelot 8 месяцев назад +2

    Having the ugly version of the conversation by yourself first is such a good idea

  • @chaz7604
    @chaz7604 8 месяцев назад +12

    So many people teach you to handle stress or just become resilient to everything either in a hyper masculine way or even via spiritual bypassing and always being happy and never triggered or experiencing “negative” emotions!
    I’m so glad you brought this up. I had a breakdown after burnout after breakdown and my whole body shut down eight years ago because of this… I pushed myself way too far than I could handle without acknowledging the fact I wasn’t handling stuff at all but just thought it was a me problem and I “should”. Well that did NOT work! The body said about shutdown and continues to even now… still healing ❤

    • @WhatsaModderU
      @WhatsaModderU 8 месяцев назад +2

      ☝️

    • @amalie.eugenie
      @amalie.eugenie 8 месяцев назад +3

      Yes, thank you!
      I think it has a lot to do with 'performance society' (ist that a word?) and also gender stereotypes

  • @mangantasy289
    @mangantasy289 8 месяцев назад +4

    This video unironically came out when just a few hours ago, I was so completely overwhelmed by the actual genuinely unbearable situation that I went so far as to call crisis helpline (which I rarely do). The fact my psych was sick and the combo with easter holidays caused me to not have anyone to talk do since over a month when usually we talk once a week.
    That said, Jonothan, you managed to make me smile. I love your idea of letting the imaginative other have it all. I actually am so used to never speak up and take all sorts of shit that I can't even do that. Even in my dreams "I" can't do that... and that's what I found somehow "funny". Because it made me remember how in a dream some while ago, my favourite anime character who just happens to be my avatar, a very gung-ho and physical guy (who HATES predjudist hatefull folks just much as I do since he was bullied badly himself as a child) was at my side as my father (any "phobe" you can imagine), him and me were walking down a street in the dream. At some point a skinny boy with dark skin in need appeared. When I wanted to help him my father started his racist vent. The anime character (Inuyasha, from the manga/anime named after him) just drily and somewhat lurkingly asked my father "do you REALLY think that?", to which my father replied "of course!". He could not even take a breath for further hate speech when Inuyasha gave him a good fist punch right into his face, picked up the little boy, turned to me and said :l"et's go".
    I woke up after that, somewhat amused how my unconscious mind had found a way to stand against my father's toxic views without having to dare doing it "in person".
    Sorry for digressing, but remebering that moment alone and being amused is already more than I would have dared hope for some hours ago.
    Since then I've had some other dreams where Inuyasha at my side spoke for me (with words and fists) where I have no voice.
    Good video, but leaving it at that is all the energy I have left right now.

  • @ivyateve
    @ivyateve 8 месяцев назад +1

    A few weeks back, I was humming along with a song at work and a colleague remarked that someone was in a good mood. It took a while to realize she was talking about me and I set her straight. Me singing means I'm stressed out...
    Also in a business setting, I sometimes first type the mail I want to send, then I delete it (taking care not to accidentally hit send!) and then type a much more polished, polite and customer friendly version. I learned by experience it does help, getting the negativity out first and then politely tell the customer to climb a tree...

  • @Miss_Lexisaurus
    @Miss_Lexisaurus 8 месяцев назад +1

    I totall relate to having too high a tolerance to stress, really appreciate Alicia highlighting that.

  • @PoltergeistTears
    @PoltergeistTears 8 месяцев назад +1

    I tend to read Music as a stress reliever and or sorting out my MTG Card folders and Building MTG decks from scratch While listening to my music mixes that to me is relaxing as hell 😄☮️💚

  • @RainbowSunshineRain
    @RainbowSunshineRain 8 месяцев назад

    A big part of stress was reduced when I started loving myself, and giving myself worth.
    I don't need to sacrifice to show my worth.
    Whatever the outcome of the situation is, I know I have done my best. And I deserve kindness, compassion, and understanding. I can understand when someone else "fails", and be understanding; I can give myself the same grace I give to others.

  • @lmw716
    @lmw716 8 месяцев назад +2

    I know this is supposed to be serious advice, to lower our tolerance to stress, but with 3 kids that are 18 months apart, and 3 older kids, I can’t help but laugh a little. I’ve had to increase my tolerance for stress to manage that a bit better. I’m trying to eliminate stressors from my life, too, but in other areas.

  • @melaniemurphyofficial
    @melaniemurphyofficial 8 месяцев назад +1

    I love you both so much

  • @elizabethsmith2263
    @elizabethsmith2263 8 месяцев назад

    This video was so helpful. How I’ve managed stress from ptsd since I got clean 9 years ago is working out and yoga. Last month I got the flu and couldn’t work out and I was so congested I couldn’t do my normal breathing exercises. Being sick was a huge trigger for me it reminded me of when I was a kid sick and unhealthy all the time. For the first time in a long time I had a panic attack. It made me realize I need more tools, thank you so much for this video. I showed it to the person I care most about going through a challenging time and it helped them too.

  • @Karmala-ki5ue
    @Karmala-ki5ue 8 месяцев назад +6

    I needed this SO BADLY today! Thank you!

  • @blauespony1013
    @blauespony1013 8 месяцев назад +1

    I did the journaling thing - make sure the person you are ranting about does not read it. Even if they never find anything THAT journal they will discover, trust me.
    Depending on the stress I have two ways of coping. For stress in the sense of work and tight timelines, I'd write a to do list and then check it off, using my calendar also helps a lot - time management helps me to get stuff out of my head. AND I can plan break time into the day.
    For emotional stress I do a lot of writing (but I have to make sure that the persons involved do not read that) or singing in the car.

  • @leyaclark9200
    @leyaclark9200 8 месяцев назад +2

    My best stress management tip is taekwondo. Just do it , you can feel such a relief!

  • @sdfghjasdfghjk8175
    @sdfghjasdfghjk8175 8 месяцев назад +1

    I have tried both outworking and avoiding, more outworking based on lifestyle choices where stress is unavoidable. I really like the idea of reducing our tolerance to stress. My brain wants to say that means get weaker, but I know that is my ego talking. It's just a more polite way of saying don't put up with bullshit. One thing that also helps me is knowing I have a choice, either reduce my tolerance to stress or reduce the amount of things I consider stressful. For me, once I see the emotion/fear behind whatever I consider stressful, it no longer is stressful. It's just experiential data telling me the healthy distance from which I can love all, and what adjustments are needed to stay within that boundary. It's helped me a lot in communicating with narcissistic family members( I promise i have read the diagnostic criterion and it applies.) But what helps me most is diagnosing the core of my stress, so that if i need to walk away, it's not based on emotion/fear, just a considered choice i made to care for myself.

  • @brandycarr5378
    @brandycarr5378 8 месяцев назад

    Alicia you are not alone. I was guilty of working harder or even bulldozing problems. Now I have learned I need to walk away and clear my head. Usually in the form of coloring. Then come back and reevaluate the situation with a more levelheaded approach.

  • @LK-Design
    @LK-Design 8 месяцев назад +2

    Warmth is happiness!

  • @pro100olga
    @pro100olga 8 месяцев назад

    What a great video, thank you! To me, sleeping enough is super important, and I try to deprioritize all things that take time from sleeping.

  • @Fierying
    @Fierying 8 месяцев назад

    I still feel this trips me up because for most of my life I have learnt from my own experiences and how I was taught was that there is never a time to rest if you are always below expectations.
    I feel is just a combination of me just not being very bright, slow and dunged with stressors and was not given any emotional support and being isolated, I had to always push out of my comfort zone to meet the bare minimum for school, work, family expectations. I was scolded and punished for not meeting them, and all my request and outbursts when I got overly stressed and not sure what to do was met with further distancing, because my mum and school did not know what to do with me.
    I am definitely in a much better place now, though I am still having a hard time understanding and learning what it means to lower my stress tolerance when I can't even get myself to do basic needs without feeling overwhelmed, like just planning out my budgeting. I get to it and I feel the overwhelmness, and I back out, only to come back to it again and stress out again, even after I try CBT and forcing myself in, but always I feel stress and stress

  • @pro100olga
    @pro100olga 8 месяцев назад

    Journaling was suprisingly helpful for me, I don't know how it works, but it really does!

  • @ilovenycsomuch
    @ilovenycsomuch 7 месяцев назад

    Thank you Alicia for sharing that concept at the end, very eye-opening & different to how we’ve been taught about stress, it’s confusing & seems to not make sense but then as you explained it more it was starting to make so much sense

  • @fionascheibel977
    @fionascheibel977 8 месяцев назад

    Violent movies or audiobooks are my go to when im stressed. Jack Reacher is my go to.

  • @lasanya6667
    @lasanya6667 8 месяцев назад

    THE CIRCULATION ISSUE IS SO REAL!!!! Lol
    The karaoke dance parties alone in the car are best for me.
    Seeing stress as a challenge can totally change the game in a negative way. My bf and sister chimed in agreement that I, too, have “too high of stress tolerance”
    If I wanna grind through work stuff, I may pull an all-nighter or two...

  • @lesleylynch4580
    @lesleylynch4580 8 месяцев назад +1

    Cold hands, warm heart as they say! 🥰

  • @stephanierodriguez8100
    @stephanierodriguez8100 8 месяцев назад

    You are not alone Alicia! Thanks so much for this video❤

  • @dancole2994
    @dancole2994 8 месяцев назад +1

    I've often found I don't have the patience to write / type so I do a video recording, and just have a full blown rant. I also find it helps to 'go grinch'. Complain in a funny way (creative criticism), while moving my body as dramatically as possible. It gets some energy out while reminding me it's silly how grumpy I can get. Then when I'm out of breathe, I relax the body and say "eh, maybe it's not that bad". I keep a notecard on me encase I can't think straight or it's too much, and it reminds me of different perspectives, eg. not to blame because that's focusing on past rather than what's helpful right now. Or at worst say "fuck this, I'm out" and lye on my bed and stare at the ceiling for 5 minutes. Then not get up until I figure out what the ideal, non-tyrannical action is.

  • @VorpalSnickerSnack
    @VorpalSnickerSnack 8 месяцев назад +1

    Lol actually my 1st councillor helped me through stress and she said sing, dance and exsersize. Edit: My spiritual councillor helps me manage anger by doing holistic muay thai, it's 20mins of a regular session to discuss what's been going on then for the rest of the time it's pad work & on the bag. He recently told me how to counter my anger, dealing with a cheater who betrayed his wife and used me "you might want to drop kick this guy from the CN tower, but still saying you can stay. By being grateful for the good things, it won't heal you or bring you peace, but it will bring you patiences to figure out a plan."

  • @drewdoesmarketresearch
    @drewdoesmarketresearch 7 месяцев назад

    Energy management for stress reduction

  • @rohwermusicstudios
    @rohwermusicstudios 8 месяцев назад

    I really like listening to deeply sorrowful or angry classical music for stress. Shostakovich Symphony 5, Mozart Requiem, Schubert Unfinished Symphony, etc.
    And, by the way, I use working harder to manage stress, and to avoid it. :/

  • @laurakru5951
    @laurakru5951 8 месяцев назад

    For me actually it depends on the context. If the stress is work related (or back then university and school) I try to outwork it. But if it‘s people related I am usually avoiding the conflicts because for the sake of „harmony“ ✨ (I‘m working on it 😅)

  • @WhatsaModderU
    @WhatsaModderU 8 месяцев назад

    When I get panic attacks, sometimes I imagine my surroundings in slow-motion like an instant replay in football. It slows my body down and thus my mood.

  • @estherann7407
    @estherann7407 7 месяцев назад

    Psalm 55:22 & 1 Peter 5:7 says to ‘cast’ your cares. That’s what I do as I cry out & release stress and trauma that I’ve carried far too long.

  • @larssjostrom6565
    @larssjostrom6565 8 месяцев назад

    I certainly deal with everything with hard work and often it do more harm than good. It is to difficult for me to relax. I act things out when I am violent in a computer game, but never when I practice HEMA, then I am always calm.

  • @AkiAmeko
    @AkiAmeko 8 месяцев назад +1

    Even after you guys explained it, I'm not sure I follow on lowering my tolerance for stress. That doesn't make much sense to me. I usually can't ease up on a problem until it is resolved - and if resolving that problem involves the cooperation of another person, such as a company that is closed for the day and I have to wait for tomorrow? Very difficult for me to let it go or even get sleep. :(

  • @writethepath8354
    @writethepath8354 8 месяцев назад +7

    Dance party now, pause and return

  • @exteriorpeak0815
    @exteriorpeak0815 4 месяца назад

    What Jono said about working more hit me

  • @YensAdventure
    @YensAdventure 8 месяцев назад

    Hi Johno and Alicia. Do you have any specific recommendations for people who have had medical emergencies? Out of the blue, I recently had a near death experience due to a medical emergency. Between the risk of recurrence and the side effects of the treatment, my life won't be the same and I may be on the medication for life. I don't know how to work towards feeling safe when the danger isn't external. I had no specific triggers and we may never know why it happened.

  • @KHBogWitch
    @KHBogWitch 8 месяцев назад

    Let me tell you what DOESN’T work: repeat “it will be okay” to yourself under your breath every time a new thing gets added onto your mental load, work load, etc.
    Unless you can really meditate/pray on it in a mentally healthy way, this is the equivalent of white-knuckling your way through a surgical procedure without an aesthetic.
    But in all seriousness-I find it very helpful to either engage in something that requires my hands (gardening and cooking are my favorites), or let out some aggression in a socially acceptable way. A local ax-throwing establishment in my town also has a rage room; if that’s not available, sometimes I will just scream into a pillow or put on a really good movie to cry to. I spend a lot of my time and energy engaged in intellectual/mental pursuits at work or fixing problems for others, so it’s nice sometimes to let some big feelings out.

  • @airyramos6516
    @airyramos6516 7 месяцев назад

    Uffff i dance, sing (alone :3 i like It that way) unfortunely theres always people around, but those moments are great, also think i need something more intense, thanks for the info ❤ 🌮🇲🇽

  • @VorpalSnickerSnack
    @VorpalSnickerSnack 8 месяцев назад

    Do you guys also listen to Dr. Margaret Rutherford's podcast?

  • @MalloryNewcomb
    @MalloryNewcomb 8 месяцев назад

    How far in advance do y’all film these videos?

    • @JonathanDecker
      @JonathanDecker 8 месяцев назад +2

      We film every other month. This batch was shot in February.

  • @jeanmetzger9359
    @jeanmetzger9359 8 месяцев назад

    I take it out on my computer games

  • @larssjostrom6565
    @larssjostrom6565 8 месяцев назад

    Do we get a video were Jonathan sing and Alicia dance to the same music? ;)

  • @chopstick3555
    @chopstick3555 8 месяцев назад

    I struggle with OCD everyday and it makes me stressed all the time, I want to know how to manage it but I don't know how.

  • @writethepath8354
    @writethepath8354 8 месяцев назад

    Familiar with Twyla Tharp? She was also a heat-lover
    The Creative Habit

  • @commentforthealgorithm
    @commentforthealgorithm 8 месяцев назад +1

    comment for the algorithm

  • @Klaris10
    @Klaris10 6 месяцев назад

    I always do it with the conversation with the person. I write it down and I have milion notes just offending and blaming my boyfriend xDD and I 100*/* don't mean it or believe it and he is never gonna see it bc it's for me xD