How to Get Over the Pain of Rejection and Be Authentically YOU!
HTML-код
- Опубликовано: 30 май 2024
- Are you afraid of rejection? Are you wondering how to recover from the pain of rejection? Watch this video to learn our top tips of how to get over the pain of rejection.
Check out our Membership Site with this $1 Trial: vz297.infusionsoft.app/app/or...
Next, watch 🎥 How Do I Know if I Have Trauma • How do you know if you...
🗓 Schedule a complimentary 15-minute Discovery Call with one of our therapists!
Global Clients: go.oncehub.com/MLDiscoveryCall
Chase Brewer (Utah Only): go.oncehub.com/Chase
Click mendedlight.com/25 to join the Mended Light membership site and get 50% off!
Healing from infidelity? Watch this webinar for help and support: keap.page/vz297/webinar-regis...
Healing from Divorce? Watch this video for help and support: mendedlight.com/divorce/
Healing from Trauma? Watch this video for help and support: mendedlight.com/trauma/
Buckle up and test your knowledge - from Friends to Euphoria to Bridgerton while growing your relationship skills and winning prizes!
keap.page/vz297/shall-we-play...
Want to learn more about personalities? Watch this training:
www.personalities.mendedlight...
00:00 How to overcome a fear of rejection
02:00 Doing what you do, and avoiding based on fear
05:30 Look in the mirror to find love
07:00 Where are you looking for acceptance
08:00 Forgiveness
#fear #rejection #mendedlight #jonathandecker
I read a quote when I was going through my divorce from a very abusive man, and I wish I could tell you who said this and give them credit for it. “Never judge yourself by how others treat you, only by how you treat others”. Sounds simple, but if we really think about it we all spend way too much time taking other people’s treatment of us to heart and we think it says something about us. It tells us only about them. I remind myself of this quote often.
Thanks for the advice, it's really eye-opening ❤
Thank you for sharing!!!🎉🎉, such truth!!😮
I prefer: "judge yourself by how you treat yourself and others". Too many people judge themself very harshly and are very compassionate towards others. That does not work because it is not consistent. The way you do one thing is the way you do everything.
The funny thing is, I used to think of self-love as a sort of weak sauce consolation prize, but then once it happened, I felt genuinely loved and it was that feeling specifically that really hit me. If you feel loved, it doesn’t really matter where it comes from. You’re a human, just like all the people you seek love from, and your love is no less valuable than anybody else’s
The day I learn how to give the same level of patience and compassion to myself as I do to others, I know I will be healed. Still working on it, I'm not an expert yet, but I'm getting there because I know deep down that I really deserve it.
I feel this so much. I'm 50, and for a long time I fulfilled what my parents wanted (family business), what partners wanted (divorced from abuser, alienated many friends), and even for a while coped through my identity as a parent. Now with the kid off to college, my empty nest has been a reckoning of realizing I have virtually no identity of my own upon which to fall back on. I depend too much on my current partner who is long distance, and worry I'll push him away with clinginess. I remember small glimpses of a independent interesting person from my college years, but that person is so far away now. I know I'll do much better to change my career and have time for a social life, but escaping the family emeshment is so difficult. I feel like starting over but not knowing what step to take first.
I think I have mastered rejection 😅 I’ve learned to just stay true to myself no matter what.
So sorry to hear you got bullied so badly! Bullying ist the worst. I think we give way to little attention to it compared to other forms of violence.
Very brave and strong of you to talk about it
lately, i've come to believe that i struggle to be authentic due to a lack of internal sense of safety. the idea that whatever happens, i will be ok. i believe that the unmet need is that i don't have enough resources to tap into, and i have been trying to obtain, maintain and use them, but it seems to be not enough - i have a support group, i do inner child work, i read books on problem solving, decision making critical thinking... but i still feel vulnerable, i'm still fearful. my intuition is my hp, but i struggle to tap into it because i don't believe that i have the ability to execute its directions and perhaps that shame is what's preventing me from hearing myself.
Those last few sentances broke me, but I am non the less thankful to you Johnatan, for the raw truth.
Thank you for sharing this, and for daring to be vulnerable in front of all of us.
THAT WAS deep!, " my love wasn't good enough for me ". 😲
Yup. Someone hurt me. Hurt my feelings with disrespectful, selfish actions and half-truths.... then wanted me to forgive him. I tried. Then he hurt me again. But he still wanted to see me, be a friend and stay in touch. How? And why should I? I blew up, and burnt that bridge. Strange enough I feel okay and calm. Keep on forgiving someone like that.... I'd have lost myself. I reclaimed myself by burning that bridge.
Jon, if I may give a slight pushback/question? I’ve never really gotten on board with the “just love yourself” Yeah, sure I like myself. But what about those moments you just feel so darn lonely? Sometimes all I want is a meaningful hug and there’s only so many times you can wrap your arms around yourself and say you’re enough. I recently suggested family therapy after an attempt to end it all and my sister said “she doesn’t care if I live or die” I can’t visit my family cause every time I go home she verbally and psychologically tortures me. Last time she was blasting the TV so I couldn’t sleep and when I tried to talk to her she screamed at me, when I tried to take the remote to turn the music down she called the cops… Forget my family, this past year I’ve had friends leave, die, and gotten my heart broken. I’m just tired. I like myself fine. Or even love myself. But I’m sick of giving everything. I’ve tried to be there for people- not expecting anything in return- but it never comes back. I travel and live in Airbnb’s so oftentimes I have to conceal my heartache that just adds up and I feel like I have nothing left in me. I’m so lonely, yet connecting with people where it’s both sided (I’m introverted so it doesn’t help) is HARD and I’m just spent.
I feel you & agree with your statements. Loving yourself can come with learning a lot of healthy coping mechanisms & tools to love yourself. But then you start wondering, after...AGES of being there for yourself, taking care/loving yourself, you wonder, "Is nobody going to release me of this duty at least once in a while? Can I not find a companion be it a friend/partner who can pick up the pieces when I'm beaten down by life? Is there no one to hold me, reassure me & support me through dealing with my problems?" Its a real disheartening thought, especially when you're surrounded by abusive people. Strong people need a helping hand too, we're not Gods or have magical powers to have an unlimited supply of self-support. I don't know what to do with these feelings...I hope you get out of your situation & have an amazing group of friends/found family❤🫂 I send you loads of love, hugs & happiness from one lonely soul to another🤗🤗😇
Thank you for your kind and heartfelt reply Minnie and back atcha. 💞
That's something I've thought a lot about too. Loving yourself is important, but I don't think it fixes all of your problems. Humans are social creatures and we NEED that interaction. But it is much better to love yourself and be lonely than it is to hate yourself and be lonely. And just because the past or present is rough doesn't mean that the future will be too. I've never dealt with the kinds of situations you have, heck, I'm still in my late teens, but I do know that desperation for companionship doesn't get you very far. Loneliness sucks, but there can always be someone you click with somewhere in the future ❤ I hope you find them soon.
I realised many times You don't have any other option as to become Your own best friend and support Yourself as this society became self absorbed so much and most people doesn't care much If they don't have any benefit directly from You or are reciprocating somehow Your attention and help with the little sense of duty they have.
Hi there. I’m so sorry to hear what you are going through. I totally understand. This may not be forever though and I hope you find the social connections that are truly healing for you.
Loving yourself is a hard practice with ups and many downs.
Know even if you are physically alone, you really aren’t as many of us (if not all of us) feel this way at some point in our lives. Sending a virtual hug and hope to receive one back. I wrap my arms around myself all the time.
I have found that guided sleep affirmations and a snuggly hot water bottle soothes me. Sometimes like someone else is near as I’m being spoken to.
I highly recommend Rising Higher Meditations.
❤
The reason I don't like myself much is because I see my failings and I'm not satisfied with my successes (I don't really qualify them as "successes" as much as meeting expectations, and you don't get bonus points for doing what's expected). I've squandered a few years of my life and feel like I'll always be diminished for it, no matter what I do. Even if I achieve something I could be proud of, it will be later than it should have been. Idk how to accept that and still feel good about my value as a person.
Hey there. Stranger here just saying give yourself a break. We are never going to fully achieve everything we desire and even if we do, there will be new goals or things to discover - or you may not even feel like it’s what you wanted when you’ve got it!
Be patient with yourself. If you get to where you want to be a little (or even a lot) later than planned then that’s all part of life sometimes and you never know what’s around the corner (good or bad) to shift those plans anyhow.
Enjoy the process, forgive yourself for not being where you would like to be and appreciate the fact that you are doing your best and all will be good! ❤
First! ❤
Thanks for the video, Jono ❤ You inspire me so much! Your story is similar to mine, I was bullied a lot at school, I struggle with rejection and my father is very intolerant of me. When you tell your story I feel hope, I feel like I can be a better person and be happy ❤ Thank you so much, and I'm sorry for the bad English, it is my second language 😅
It doesn’t seem bad to me your English, but what am I saying, English isn’t my mother tongue either
@@daykibaran9668 thanks, your English is great 😊
Your English is very good, I am learning English for over 35 years now and I can see even today how much I need to learn especially in terms of complex grammar and extended vocabulary. I was also bullied a lot and I can see how much it can damage the very core of person's self esteem. For me God and humbleness from realising how weak I am without Him helps me a lot. @@mari23_13
You’ve got better English than most haha
@@chaz7604 I'm glad to know LOL
I can relate to what you are saying. I also was a people pleaser, I was also the person that tried to keep the peace and harmony in the family but I wasn’t always like that.
When I was younger than 10 years old I use to hide when my family would start shouting and yelling, that or fade into the background and block my ears.
At the time we didn’t know I had autism and ADHD but that didn’t really matter at that time.
I really appreciate you. Thanks for being vulnerable just to help others. You've help me. God bless you.
I'm sorry to hear you've been bullied and you've turned out so Well. Thank you for being vulnerable. Thank you for sharing, Thank you for being YOU!
Love you and what you do❤😍! I have the same problem like you Jonathan but I don't want to try anymore to be excepted but I work all the time 63/ to 70hrs a week, I'm a workaholic and that's how I cope with my anxiety, depression and I work a lot for other to except me!
I love this message. But I so wish I could also watch the video! The image is zooming in and out and it’s very disturbing.
I agree. The zooming is too irritating; I had to listen to it like a podcast and move my eyes somewhere else.
Oh... my husband is so much like this. We've been researching narcissism because of the chameleon stuff and the affairs, mostly emotional, looking for validation... he says he loves me and doesn't want to separate, but struggles to not "need" that validation from others. It's so painful & heartbreaking for me to endure. This opens up more options... what other videos talk about this growth within yourself?
This hits so close to home. I was just realizing the last week or so that I do have a fear of rejection, and no matter what I try, I can't get close to people the way others do. Hugs don't bring me comfort (I feel the other person wants something, and not in the sexual way, they just want the hug and are not giving me comfort), and I find that atlking about things with people doesn't bring relief.
Unlike Jono, I didn't necessarily want others approval growing up, I was told very loudly and very frequently in elementary school that no one would like me/I wouldn't get anywhere in life because I have a disability. And repeatedly I've been told to quit even though I go in expecting myself to succeed. At this point, I'm not quite sure what I want or who I "really" am (knowing that most dreamers suffer from this is consoling), and every time I try to pin it down, it feels like I'm building another persona.
Not sure what I'm asking for, but some video on this would really help.
This was actually so helpful; thank you. I’ve been going through a lot of this from some childhood memories and from a breakup, and your breakdown of this really helped me write down and clarify these thoughts and maladaptive coping skills and chart a course to recovery tangibly.
Someone's inability to see your worth doesn't make you worthless.
This is such a brave video, so open and raw. I am facing my own path of self-acceptance after rejection and this is so helpful.
Wow! You just described my whole Junior and High school years. I am blessed to have a family that will go to bat for me, All I have to do is pick up the phone.
Sending you hugs, Jonathan. It seemed to me like throughout the video you were trying to hold back tears... sending you extra hugs ❤
I found your guys channel recently and I hope you keep up this work forever, what youre doing is so important
Thank you for sharing your shockingly vulnerability from yourself. 👏👏👏
this is so valuable to me. thank you.
Thats awful about you being bullied. That happened to me too.
4:38 ❤
I just don't know what I'm supposed to step up and DO. Like wtf. I just got fired and I don't have much money. This is the second time this has happened. I don't know what the hell god is asking of me.
#relatable
Oh Jonathan who couldn't love you...i mean this with respect , but what does not kill u makes u stronger .love a redhead. Who has adhd. Who is also now a straight shooting , ballsy bird (NB: UK slang for woman) who is a resillient and brilliant ...er bird?
Love from the UK back ❤
Anen ,! Its not because we're unlovable. 😼
Much of what you are saying hits home and some of it brings back the guilt about my own divorce. Thanks Jono.
Thankyou Jono ❤❤🙏🙏🫶🥹🥹🥺