My girlfriend recently brought this up. We were poly in the beginning but have now been Monagomous for 2 years. How do you deal with jealous thoughts? I went through a long period of retroactive jealously which was the worst thing I have ever been through. I am worried about those thoughts coming back again knowing that my partner is hooking up with someone else. We agreed it would be best to not disclose when or who we are hooking up with. I am not sure if that is the best way to go about it or not. She says she can't handle the emotional aspect so she doesn't want to do poly and figured an open relationship makes more sense.
I really appreciate all these videos you are doing , you are helping me a lot ! These days i am struggling because my boyfriend wants an open relationship , and it’s something i couldn’t accept, and now i said yes ! But the problem that he is still hiding things from me ! Because he is afraid that i judge him. So i am really struggling these days , and i found out that he already cheated on me before i accept the open relationship . And i am afraid and i can’t help it . So help me please what to do ? I love him so much that i can’t imagine my life without him
Great question! I address a lot of my videos to/from gay guys because (surprisingly!) a lot of the open and poly resources aren't really for or by us. I do work with women and straight people, too. That said, the same basic principles are at play regardless of the gender or sexualities of the partners involved. One thing I'd watch out for in relationships with partners of different genders is how gendered expectations (for instance "It's ok if my girlfriend hooks up with women but I'm the only man she can be with") and interpretations ("You're anxious because women are more emotional") play out.
not at all! as long as everyone is clear on expectations and agreements, you can structure the relationship that is right for you. These videos might help you figure that out: ruclips.net/video/NzSTQrTCP98/видео.html ruclips.net/video/jcR_rD4Rv6Y/видео.html ruclips.net/video/YFI6_ojQm7Y/видео.html We also have a group relationship coaching program for gay/bi guys interested in open relationships. It's 6 months and walks you through all of the basics of developing healthy relationship habits, casting a shared vision, defining your agreements, navigating conflict, and leveling up your sex. If you're interested, drop me a line: www.briangerald.com/relationship-coaching/application/
Myth one: you kinda say that a person who had several monogamous relationships is likely unable of commitment because there were more than one relationship? And even without adressing reasons a relationship of any kind can fail? Using facts and lure to the wrong cunclusions. Great. From my experience with friends I can tell the monogamous relationships lasted much longer than the open ones and the people with open ones had more in the same timespan of observation. I won't suggest why that is, everyone is free to draw their own cunclusions. The method I used seems familiar? I just remembered a friend who surprised me last week. We lost contact for a while and cought up some time. She has always been polyamorous but did stop doing so. She got to know a man she fell that hard in love with she couldn't bare to "share" him and he means so much to her what is something she never felt before. It's like she discovered a knew level of commitment. Which is why I tend to think open/polyamorous poeple define commitment in an other way.
Like your female friend, I fell for & married a man that I truly love. I caught him cheating a few times but forgave him. Three years into marriage, he lost all sexual interest in me & at the end of the 4th year, I was a friend instead of a partner. With therapy and counseling over the years, we agreed to an "Open Relationship" because I desire physical, sexual contact & on times he went outside of the marriage, he always came back & wanted to be little frisky with me. A few weeks ago, we celebrated our wedding anniversary the way we did during our 1st year of marriage & it was rapturous. I waited 1,313 days for that feeling. During the other 1,312 days, I was driven by a physical & emotional need that forced me to go outside about 32 times, mostly with a person I knew. Not to be gross but the total of those 32x added up to be under 72 hours. I do not regret what I've done but to be truly honest, I would rather have been with my partner. I do not wish for him to become a sex addict but asking for one night of intimacy with me once every quarter should not be worth the loneliness, anger & resentment that it creates. I see your side of the debate, some heterosexual relationships survive on monogamy, especially when children are involved. I've also seen the same person get married to the perfect man, it only took her 3 tries. IDIC
The only issue I have with guys in open relationships is that they think everyone else is/should be too. If it works for you, fine. That doesn't give you the right to hit on guys in monogamous relationships.
My boyfriend and I are talking about opening our relationship. We love together and have been together for 2 years... the thought of this excites me and I would love to be more open to it. When I think about it I love the idea, but when I see (or percieve) getting flirty w girls I get really jealous. Then I feel bad for overreacting. Do you have any jealousy advice??
I'm in a open relationship. Jealousy is normal. Just need to know not to react in a bad way. It's better to talk about it and let him know what's bothering you. Set boundaries. The boundaries can change in the future. Just communicate it gets easier with time.
My brother told me that he is in an open relationship and I am monogamous. All of my family disagrees with thier decision and I want to know how to deal with the people I meet that obviosly are hooking up with him and his wife. Also, they are about to have a kid. This is so complicated.
I would treat the people your brother is with besides his wife with courtesy and politeness. You may not agree with his open relationship but if he treats your preference for monogamy with respect, afford him the same. If they are consenting to that type of arrangement, they may understand all of the implications that occur with it.
So open relationship means he will have sex with others but not fall in love with them only uou ? And poly means he will fall in love with others and uou ?
I love this! Amazing information about a totally wonderful relationship style that is in need of more positive light. Thank you so much for this video.
Most annoying myth... I told someone online once that I was polysexual (falls under the bi umbrella) and they conflated that with polyamory. Their reply was "Oh, so you're a cheater!" I have a higher percentage of monog friends who have been cheated on than polyam friends. So, to me, it seems like monog people are more likely to be cheaters, but, I guess he can go off or whatever. tl;dr People conflating ENM with cheating.
Myth four: well sorry I used "main"partner before 😂. But then again that is what drives people to question the commitment as a whole. But calling it gross is kinda arrogant. I mean you should consider people who never felt like you before have trouble understanding. Those questions aren't attacking but trying to understand your way of living. And if you think people don't need to know then why introduce multiple boyfriends in the first place? If it is okay to use the word boyfriend here. The an outsider it'll look somewhat like that: what keeps him from commiting to only one person?
Myth six: yeah that is mean statement. But they probably didn't know better. Yet it truly is not the same. You used this phrase yourself when talking about introducing multiple boyfriends: level of commitment. There sure is a difference in the level or containing of commitment. For example your Peter decides at one point he doesn't wanna do this anymore and wants to live in monogamy with you further on?Do you fully commit to him or just stay with the remaining partners - depending on what you do there will be different qualities of commitment expressed. But wether one values the commitment on all possible layers including romane and sex higher or lower is a different story. A story where there is no right or wrong - everyone has different needs or concepts of happiness. So valuation of that sort really should be avoided. It also works the other way round e.g. you could value having a monogamous relationship less compared to your own open relationship.
Myth two: I didn't know that was a myth. I mean fear and jealousy would prohibit the forming of an open relationship beforehand. I would think people in an open relationship have more, no not more, but an other kind of trust. Maybe even love itself is in another form present if one doesn't care with whom the partner hooks up or falls in love with. To someone unfamiliar or not understanding with this concept this may look more like friendship of sorts or really platonic. I always try to get a look on both points of view. But a rather interesting point is, why there is a need to form an open relationship in the first place. For some of my friends their answer was they won't miss out on the fun if there is another person they're sexually or romantically attracted to. But that puts me back to square one again and I wonder how they define commitment then. It seems that the "main" partner is merely a person they enjoy the presence of. 🤷♂️
The greatest thing about open relationships, is that they eventually lead to a real relationship. 92% of the time, my comment is accurate
Your ability to communicate is so good!
Your style is very interactive. Keep it up!
Thank you so much. I’m new to an open relationship, and this is really helpful. ❤️
My girlfriend recently brought this up. We were poly in the beginning but have now been Monagomous for 2 years. How do you deal with jealous thoughts? I went through a long period of retroactive jealously which was the worst thing I have ever been through. I am worried about those thoughts coming back again knowing that my partner is hooking up with someone else. We agreed it would be best to not disclose when or who we are hooking up with. I am not sure if that is the best way to go about it or not. She says she can't handle the emotional aspect so she doesn't want to do poly and figured an open relationship makes more sense.
I really appreciate all these videos you are doing , you are helping me a lot !
These days i am struggling because my boyfriend wants an open relationship , and it’s something i couldn’t accept, and now i said yes !
But the problem that he is still hiding things from me ! Because he is afraid that i judge him.
So i am really struggling these days , and i found out that he already cheated on me before i accept the open relationship . And i am afraid and i can’t help it .
So help me please what to do ?
I love him so much that i can’t imagine my life without him
This is very helpful, especially the idea that the type of relationship doesn’t have to affect the level of commitment:)
I'm glad to hear it was helpful for you!
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Hey Brian, would you say that what you talk about here works more or less the same for straight couples?
Great question! I address a lot of my videos to/from gay guys because (surprisingly!) a lot of the open and poly resources aren't really for or by us. I do work with women and straight people, too. That said, the same basic principles are at play regardless of the gender or sexualities of the partners involved. One thing I'd watch out for in relationships with partners of different genders is how gendered expectations (for instance "It's ok if my girlfriend hooks up with women but I'm the only man she can be with") and interpretations ("You're anxious because women are more emotional") play out.
WELCOME TO DR Ehizojie (a.k.a herbal expert) HERBAL REMEDIES (WhatsApp+2348102330131)
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I’m straight and in an open relationship, and this is very helpful to me.
Is it wrong for the open relationship is just for sex? My significant other brought it up with me. An trying to get ideas
not at all! as long as everyone is clear on expectations and agreements, you can structure the relationship that is right for you.
These videos might help you figure that out:
ruclips.net/video/NzSTQrTCP98/видео.html
ruclips.net/video/jcR_rD4Rv6Y/видео.html
ruclips.net/video/YFI6_ojQm7Y/видео.html
We also have a group relationship coaching program for gay/bi guys interested in open relationships. It's 6 months and walks you through all of the basics of developing healthy relationship habits, casting a shared vision, defining your agreements, navigating conflict, and leveling up your sex. If you're interested, drop me a line: www.briangerald.com/relationship-coaching/application/
Myth one: you kinda say that a person who had several monogamous relationships is likely unable of commitment because there were more than one relationship? And even without adressing reasons a relationship of any kind can fail? Using facts and lure to the wrong cunclusions. Great. From my experience with friends I can tell the monogamous relationships lasted much longer than the open ones and the people with open ones had more in the same timespan of observation. I won't suggest why that is, everyone is free to draw their own cunclusions. The method I used seems familiar?
I just remembered a friend who surprised me last week. We lost contact for a while and cought up some time. She has always been polyamorous but did stop doing so. She got to know a man she fell that hard in love with she couldn't bare to "share" him and he means so much to her what is something she never felt before. It's like she discovered a knew level of commitment. Which is why I tend to think open/polyamorous poeple define commitment in an other way.
Like your female friend, I fell for & married a man that I truly love. I caught him cheating a few times but forgave him. Three years into marriage, he lost all sexual interest in me & at the end of the 4th year, I was a friend instead of a partner. With therapy and counseling over the years, we agreed to an "Open Relationship" because I desire physical, sexual contact & on times he went outside of the marriage, he always came back & wanted to be little frisky with me. A few weeks ago, we celebrated our wedding anniversary the way we did during our 1st year of marriage & it was rapturous.
I waited 1,313 days for that feeling. During the other 1,312 days, I was driven by a physical & emotional need that forced me to go outside about 32 times, mostly with a person I knew. Not to be gross but the total of those 32x added up to be under 72 hours.
I do not regret what I've done but to be truly honest, I would rather have been with my partner. I do not wish for him to become a sex addict but asking for one night of intimacy with me once every quarter should not be worth the loneliness, anger & resentment that it creates.
I see your side of the debate, some heterosexual relationships survive on monogamy, especially when children are involved. I've also seen the same person get married to the perfect man, it only took her 3 tries. IDIC
The only issue I have with guys in open relationships is that they think everyone else is/should be too. If it works for you, fine. That doesn't give you the right to hit on guys in monogamous relationships.
This is great! I totally relate to all of this.Thanks for sharing!
Is Brian in an Open Relationship?
I am!
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So this means I
Can’t never call him mine ? Or that he will love and date other guys as well
My boyfriend and I are talking about opening our relationship. We love together and have been together for 2 years... the thought of this excites me and I would love to be more open to it. When I think about it I love the idea, but when I see (or percieve) getting flirty w girls I get really jealous. Then I feel bad for overreacting. Do you have any jealousy advice??
I'm in a open relationship. Jealousy is normal. Just need to know not to react in a bad way. It's better to talk about it and let him know what's bothering you. Set boundaries. The boundaries can change in the future. Just communicate it gets easier with time.
My brother told me that he is in an open relationship and I am monogamous. All of my family disagrees with thier decision and I want to know how to deal with the people I meet that obviosly are hooking up with him and his wife. Also, they are about to have a kid. This is so complicated.
I would treat the people your brother is with besides his wife with courtesy and politeness. You may not agree with his open relationship but if he treats your preference for monogamy with respect, afford him the same. If they are consenting to that type of arrangement, they may understand all of the implications that occur with it.
The biggest myth about open relationships is that they work
So open relationship means he will have sex with others but not fall in love with them only uou ? And poly means he will fall in love with others and uou ?
I love this! Amazing information about a totally wonderful relationship style that is in need of more positive light. Thank you so much for this video.
Thanks for the feedback, Darean! I'm glad to be helpful!
Most annoying myth...
I told someone online once that I was polysexual (falls under the bi umbrella) and they conflated that with polyamory. Their reply was "Oh, so you're a cheater!" I have a higher percentage of monog friends who have been cheated on than polyam friends. So, to me, it seems like monog people are more likely to be cheaters, but, I guess he can go off or whatever.
tl;dr People conflating ENM with cheating.
Myth four: well sorry I used "main"partner before 😂. But then again that is what drives people to question the commitment as a whole. But calling it gross is kinda arrogant. I mean you should consider people who never felt like you before have trouble understanding. Those questions aren't attacking but trying to understand your way of living. And if you think people don't need to know then why introduce multiple boyfriends in the first place? If it is okay to use the word boyfriend here.
The an outsider it'll look somewhat like that: what keeps him from commiting to only one person?
Myth six: yeah that is mean statement. But they probably didn't know better. Yet it truly is not the same. You used this phrase yourself when talking about introducing multiple boyfriends: level of commitment. There sure is a difference in the level or containing of commitment. For example your Peter decides at one point he doesn't wanna do this anymore and wants to live in monogamy with you further on?Do you fully commit to him or just stay with the remaining partners - depending on what you do there will be different qualities of commitment expressed. But wether one values the commitment on all possible layers including romane and sex higher or lower is a different story. A story where there is no right or wrong - everyone has different needs or concepts of happiness. So valuation of that sort really should be avoided. It also works the other way round e.g. you could value having a monogamous relationship less compared to your own open relationship.
0:42 … Come again🥴?
What’s wrong with that?
Are you related to jack murphy?🤣
Myth two: I didn't know that was a myth. I mean fear and jealousy would prohibit the forming of an open relationship beforehand. I would think people in an open relationship have more, no not more, but an other kind of trust. Maybe even love itself is in another form present if one doesn't care with whom the partner hooks up or falls in love with. To someone unfamiliar or not understanding with this concept this may look more like friendship of sorts or really platonic. I always try to get a look on both points of view. But a rather interesting point is, why there is a need to form an open relationship in the first place. For some of my friends their answer was they won't miss out on the fun if there is another person they're sexually or romantically attracted to. But that puts me back to square one again and I wonder how they define commitment then. It seems that the "main" partner is merely a person they enjoy the presence of. 🤷♂️
It's called being a sex addict and having a huge problem.
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Are you sick of any infection e.g
✓High blood pressure
✓chronic infection
✓low sperm count
✓eye problem
✓vitiligo
✓stomach ulcer
✓memory loss
✓rheumatism
✓tooth ache
✓infertility
✓arthritis
✓diabetes
✓cancer
✓asthma
✓fibroid
✓stroke
✓pile
✓heart failure
✓love spell
✓ex-back
✓penis enlargement
✓low libido e.t.c
Whatsapp Dr Ehizojie For you cure (+2348102330131