Ari Shaffir - Chinese S**t Squat Toilet - This Is Not Happening - Uncensored

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  • Опубликовано: 30 ноя 2024

Комментарии • 1,3 тыс.

  • @marciocoelho2481
    @marciocoelho2481 5 лет назад +195

    I was in China last year and went through a similar experience. They have western toilets in the hotels, but I was doing some work in a shipyard and had to use their restrooms twice. Dreadful experience with the squatting thing. It was winter, below zero and the restroom was not heated, so I had to remove the padded overalls I was wearing completely, plus my underwear. After squatting for ten minutes in the freezing cold, my legs hurt so much I couldnt stand up and almost fell back into the damn thing. Horrible experience.

    • @dhabinuisance3643
      @dhabinuisance3643 5 лет назад

      Marcio Coelho that’s so gross! Your overalls touched the shit hole

    • @chrispomes5425
      @chrispomes5425 4 года назад +6

      Lol I have to go to china now..I need to experience this 😂😂😂

    • @jjcoola998
      @jjcoola998 3 года назад +3

      I live somewhere it gets very cold and have worked outside in the winter , so reading this gave me nightmares

    • @dannygreen5477
      @dannygreen5477 3 года назад +1

      Plus the chance of catching something, splash-back.. We've had plumbing for the last few hundred years.. There is no excuse to not have a toilet and plumbing.

    • @MrRevolverkiller
      @MrRevolverkiller 2 года назад +2

      Horrible Experience One Star, would not recommend

  • @legomypancakes
    @legomypancakes 8 лет назад +2530

    did he just intro himself

    • @ehcmier
      @ehcmier 8 лет назад +309

      He intros all the guests, so it's an easy joke in the context that he pretends he's another guest.

    • @shiestysean
      @shiestysean 7 лет назад +24

      legomypancakes I asked myself that too like Df?!

    • @dylanmccallister6739
      @dylanmccallister6739 6 лет назад +87

      Hi I'm your host Ari Shaffir, and PLEASE WELCOME THE DOPEST DUDE TO WALK EARTH ARI SHAFFIR!
      Basically what he did

    • @shawn55648
      @shawn55648 6 лет назад +14

      Is there anyone better to do so?

    • @paulieheydrich9772
      @paulieheydrich9772 6 лет назад +5

      @@shawn55648 could of picked Joe Smo from the crowd

  • @Nalopotato
    @Nalopotato 7 лет назад +515

    He looks like a James Bond villain

    • @tjentiji6022
      @tjentiji6022 5 лет назад +17

      He looks like Robert Deniro in Taxi Driver

    • @richardpatterson401
      @richardpatterson401 5 лет назад

      @@tjentiji6022 fax

    • @schaftd01
      @schaftd01 5 лет назад +12

      Looks like he spikes drinks

    • @BenJustSaid
      @BenJustSaid 5 лет назад

      I thought he looked like a 2.0 version of Seinfield.

    • @timboslice8559
      @timboslice8559 4 года назад +1

      schaftd01 Bert kreicher

  • @monkeseeaction21987
    @monkeseeaction21987 7 лет назад +888

    I'm a Chinese and I laughed my ass off. Ever since a child I've had trouble with those toilets. I've only successfully shitted in one of those once in my life. Yeah. Bathrooms in USA are every day blessings.

    • @mister_manager
      @mister_manager 6 лет назад +43

      you gotta check out Japanese toilets, it's like they're from the future

    • @gino-tx2we
      @gino-tx2we 6 лет назад +30

      As someone who has shit in the woods on multiple occasions, the trick is to lean foreword as far as possible. You have to have your ass sticking out as far as possible. Also pants down to the ankle.

    • @rebeccalong1577
      @rebeccalong1577 6 лет назад +8

      Martin Ma , Has anyone ever fallen into the hole? or is it not big enough for that?

    • @monkeseeaction21987
      @monkeseeaction21987 6 лет назад +54

      The hole is small. You can't fall in it but your foot definitely can.
      Don't fuckin ask me how I know that.

    • @Cletus23FTW
      @Cletus23FTW 6 лет назад +5

      Martin Ma went to China and whenever I tried I got a lot a hurting Pain in my diaphragm ish

  • @negativeindustrial
    @negativeindustrial 8 лет назад +73

    You don't know what fucked up is until you've experienced a rural Chinese truck stop bathroom. Ari is spot on

  • @Voodooblue89
    @Voodooblue89 6 лет назад +604

    Guess his hair got in his face at 2:10 and he had to put it back behind his ear.

  • @thecampfire4877
    @thecampfire4877 6 лет назад +601

    The genius & irony of a joke about no one telling jokes about the Chinese Government, while telling jokes about the Chinese Government, is amazing!

    • @bobbyrosken
      @bobbyrosken 5 лет назад +11

      The Campfire nothing’s funnier than a joke explained

    • @tightirl
      @tightirl 5 лет назад +1

      @TheCampfire a far cry from genius or amazing. The orders were regarding his time in China, not forever...Also he wasn't even telling a joke he was merely giving contextual setup for a story.
      @Joe mama better than "literally".

    • @drunkcommenter3385
      @drunkcommenter3385 5 лет назад +5

      Joe mama ur personality is amazing

    • @TheV3la
      @TheV3la 5 лет назад +1

      The Campfire that was the point

  • @khadeejataylor2475
    @khadeejataylor2475 2 года назад +45

    Did anyone else notice that Ari has a habit of putting invisible hair behind his ear lol

    • @ETAisNOW
      @ETAisNOW Год назад +3

      His dna thinks he still has Jew curls

  • @UniteForgetLeftRight
    @UniteForgetLeftRight 5 лет назад +333

    Pooping in a squatted position is how we are actually designed to poop. Having said that I will choose a western toilet every time.

    • @charlieparkeris
      @charlieparkeris 4 года назад +14

      Ari jokes about standing on his western toilet at home to mimic the squat toilet, that is legitimately how I've been using the toilet for 10 years now. I can't even think of sitting to go now, it's just not the correct way. Squatting to go cures hemorrhoids among other benefits.

    • @UniteForgetLeftRight
      @UniteForgetLeftRight 4 года назад +8

      @@charlieparkeris I bet they make squat toilet seat adapters for western toilets.

    • @janedoe-hq9vn
      @janedoe-hq9vn 3 года назад +14

      Get a "squatty-potty" . Device that goes around the front of the toilet, so you can put your feet up on it, and be at a better angle to poop...feels pretty good actually...

    • @negativeindustrial
      @negativeindustrial 3 года назад +3

      @@janedoe-hq9vn
      🤣

    • @burkywilson6189
      @burkywilson6189 3 года назад +1

      Not at 55 years old it isn't!!! LOL!

  • @ashleyhyatt6319
    @ashleyhyatt6319 7 лет назад +2318

    I don't think the USA is #1 with toilets. Here in Japan, my toilet has a heated seat, deodorizer spray button, warm massage-jet butt cleaner, and dryer button. Mine is the average model.

    • @TheKromusDevice
      @TheKromusDevice 6 лет назад +191

      Dude! I've seen pictures of those Japanese toilets with just straight up control panels of crazy shit they can do to your ass!

    • @sugeknight3003
      @sugeknight3003 6 лет назад +127

      True but there like kids sized toilets idk Hiroshima fucked your growth up

    • @BOMEFSY
      @BOMEFSY 6 лет назад +35

      He is right, can confirm, been to japan..

    • @ys1072
      @ys1072 6 лет назад

      @@BOMEFSY Not a lot, Korea do have some, but definitely don't have a lot.

    • @seanwilks7712
      @seanwilks7712 6 лет назад +17

      Ashley Hyatt why do you have a american IP address?

  • @globalklaus
    @globalklaus 6 лет назад +328

    Took the transsibiric railroad to China, from Moscow. Let me tell you - that 7 day trip prepares you in both the best and the worst of ways for what's to come once you arrive in China. They also have the squat hole on the train. But with the added difficulty level of hanging on for dear life while taking a shit in the curves. There's a handlebar to hang on to. So you sit like a ski jump guy, propelling uncontrollably down the ski jump. Trying to hit an impossibly small hole beneath you, that leads directly out to the rails.
    Lemme tell you. When I finally made it to Beijing and went to their public bathrooms, I was like "huh. The holes are perfectly still here. Almost too easy. Like a walk in the park, this"

    • @kingpotato7183
      @kingpotato7183 6 лет назад +24

      I imagine that there is a lot of shit on the rails leading from Moscow to China and vice versa

    • @nomadben
      @nomadben 6 лет назад +5

      @@kingpotato7183 Yeah, like god damn, how can that be sustainable haha

    • @Satanthony
      @Satanthony 5 лет назад +4

      Globalklaus does the hole open up to the train tracks?

    • @gisellegradvohl7654
      @gisellegradvohl7654 5 лет назад +3

      Amazing description! Thank you for your words of an artist 💕💋

    • @beautrue4680
      @beautrue4680 4 года назад +1

      I have always wanted to do that journey as well. I just won't eat anything for a week or two. Avoid the whole shitting into a whole in the ground.

  • @qualitytimeentertainment
    @qualitytimeentertainment 8 лет назад +86

    The girl behind him is BAKED AF. lol

  • @MadamFoogie
    @MadamFoogie 6 лет назад +275

    You haven't lived until you've had to take an emergency shit in a kitty litter box.

    • @markgigiel2722
      @markgigiel2722 5 лет назад +19

      When I was in my late teens partying with my friends. They gave me feenamint gum laxative and told me they were chiclets gum. I shit on my neighbors front lawn because I couldn't make it to anywhere else..

    • @veghead05
      @veghead05 5 лет назад +2

      😂😭😭😭😂 oh god the visuals...

    • @alfprysen4513
      @alfprysen4513 5 лет назад

      I have a weird non consistent habit, it is to shit from tall places and see my shit splash 😜

    • @alfprysen4513
      @alfprysen4513 5 лет назад

      @Phantom Alpha lmfao!

    • @alyeska4226
      @alyeska4226 5 лет назад

      @@alfprysen4513 oh no

  • @krizzyshow6638
    @krizzyshow6638 3 года назад +3

    i love ari. theres nobody like him...i wish he still had the show. id buy it back if i could

  • @scorpman97
    @scorpman97 8 лет назад +140

    "Taking the Bacon" YES

  • @cantsolvesudokus
    @cantsolvesudokus 4 года назад +14

    Watching this as you sit on a toilet makes you appreciate the little things in life

  • @dubbydub9245
    @dubbydub9245 5 лет назад +61

    I asked a friend living in China, "What's life like living there?" He said he can't complain.

  • @SemanticZen
    @SemanticZen 8 лет назад +324

    I can't believe he did that joke about the Chinese government

    • @MarioSanchez-wh1bp
      @MarioSanchez-wh1bp 5 лет назад

      What joke?? Did i missi it??

    • @Flipindabird23
      @Flipindabird23 5 лет назад +5

      He walks a very fine line. Over there looking like a pinhead from the circus; trying to start WWlll

    • @oogatz1917
      @oogatz1917 5 лет назад +2

      @Wicked Alf I mean that could be the joke but I'm pretty sure the joke was he was making a joke about not doing a joke about the Chinese government

    • @derriklangworthy4188
      @derriklangworthy4188 5 лет назад +1

      Its very meta

    • @jacepleasnet5101
      @jacepleasnet5101 4 года назад +2

      oh and the imperial city, thought that was a joke about the gov as well

  • @anniebot8930
    @anniebot8930 5 лет назад +72

    Tip when in china: use the disabled stalls 🤣

  • @s4iL_
    @s4iL_ 8 лет назад +85

    as chinese, this is very accurate

    • @Mars_junior
      @Mars_junior 8 лет назад

      I'm guessing you're not in mainland china?

    • @s4iL_
      @s4iL_ 8 лет назад +7

      i grew up in the usa, but travel to hong kong every year. Ive been doing so since i was 7. a lot of times i went to china, and boy oh boy do i prefer hong kong and other eastern asian countries (japan, korea).

    • @elikold7107
      @elikold7107 8 лет назад +7

      china is gross

    • @HH-jk8hi
      @HH-jk8hi 8 лет назад +10

      The world is gross : )

    • @s4iL_
      @s4iL_ 8 лет назад +6

      Scar taking a shit and a shower doesnt sound too bad. like boosting productivity

  • @Tzadeck
    @Tzadeck 8 лет назад +497

    For the record, you should keep your pants above you knees. A lot of newbies just take off their pants when they can't figure that out.

    • @amfinc2
      @amfinc2 8 лет назад +45

      It would have been hilarious if he said: "So I took one pant leg off...." Ari, if you're reading this, you can have that one for free. :)

    • @allnighter453
      @allnighter453 7 лет назад +40

      lived here for almost 3 years now, still take off one pants leg....i can not hit that deep squat without aiming at my pants in some way =/ better to just not risk it xD

    • @panavhulsurkar1260
      @panavhulsurkar1260 7 лет назад +16

      I squat and shit with pants all the way to my ankles. Sometimes on toilets in the US just so I remind myself of where I came from.
      Needs a lot of balance, though.

    • @GinaJonesStillettoQueen
      @GinaJonesStillettoQueen 6 лет назад +4

      Tzadeck I would've just took mine off. I'm a female so we mostly wear dresses or light pants anyway lol

    • @debbiebledsoe3206
      @debbiebledsoe3206 6 лет назад +3

      ^^ Protip!

  • @justblais21
    @justblais21 8 лет назад +234

    Ari has gotten a lot funnier

    • @disturbedone8731
      @disturbedone8731 6 лет назад +4

      Michael Blais You mean he was funny?

    • @zachgreening7757
      @zachgreening7757 6 лет назад +3

      @@shaneikaberryman10 hate to break it to you but shaneika don't live here no mo and do we care helll no (probably will have to look that one up for context sweetie)

    • @Moneyman-33
      @Moneyman-33 6 лет назад +1

      Shaneika Williams Oh LAWD

  • @richardhead2281
    @richardhead2281 5 лет назад +32

    6:35 --brushes hair over ear-- However, there is no hair...

    • @804god
      @804god 4 года назад

      great eye

    • @catttttt
      @catttttt 4 года назад +2

      He did it at 2:10 too, someone else said he used to have long hair and that it's probably just a habit because of that

  • @muhammadrosewood5978
    @muhammadrosewood5978 8 лет назад +527

    isn't squat shiting like that actually better for you? I remember hearing that somewhere.

    • @demitrisolvinski
      @demitrisolvinski 8 лет назад +146

      Experts claim that the squatting position is more natural and can help avoid colon disease, constipation, hemorrhoids, pelvic floor issues and similar ailments. The more you know!

    • @FlorenceFox
      @FlorenceFox 8 лет назад +25

      Eeeeeeh, the actual benefit is debatable. It may help, but... probably not a WHOLE lot.

    • @demitrisolvinski
      @demitrisolvinski 8 лет назад +90

      It straightens out the sphincter and relieves upward pressure on the rectum meaning it does help. How much? Who cares! It helps.

    • @partykrew666
      @partykrew666 8 лет назад +39

      i bought one of those squatty things that go under your toilet to get you into position and i'll say it doesn't do that much. but for some reason i can't not use it now.

    • @KaizokuKevin
      @KaizokuKevin 8 лет назад +13

      adrian wood something about the low squat is supposed to help with constipation because of something it does with your muscles

  • @cloudysky7430
    @cloudysky7430 5 лет назад +44

    “How far do you take your pants off?”
    Idk but I feel like all the way and putting them like three feet away is probably safe.

    • @mtlmenace8590
      @mtlmenace8590 4 года назад

      knowing them chines theres probably piss n shit all over

    • @sazji
      @sazji 4 года назад

      Cloudy Sky Down to right below your knees. :-)

  • @lalog811
    @lalog811 5 лет назад +13

    Some would say this is stand-up comedy but id beg to differ,
    This IS Squat down comedy

  • @francescosenatore3504
    @francescosenatore3504 8 лет назад +78

    "Hole in the ground toilet" is called "bagno alla turca" in Italy which it translates to "Turkish bathroom".

    • @eraldylli
      @eraldylli 8 лет назад +2

      You find it in Italy not often, but you do find. Especially in the south. You will probably find it in eastern European countries too.

    • @eraldylli
      @eraldylli 8 лет назад +1

      Haha, that's the life.

    • @JohnDoe-hr8gb
      @JohnDoe-hr8gb 8 лет назад +1

      thats my fetish ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

    • @giampaolomannucci8281
      @giampaolomannucci8281 7 лет назад +3

      Scar that's really handy for cleaning the toilet, not for taking a shower :D

    • @fheedpexx9267
      @fheedpexx9267 7 лет назад +1

      I've seen a lot of those, but the weirdest one was in a Spanish football stadium. They had "hole in the ground" toilets - on the second floor! Like what the hell, they actually brought dirt up the stairs, placed it on the concrete and then dug a hole in it?
      I don't even understand how it worked. Was it connected to anything? Or did they just let everything evaporate over time? On the second floor, in a "modern" stadium? Must have been way easier just to install normal toilets.

  • @MitchGriff709
    @MitchGriff709 2 года назад +1

    I've seen alot of stand-up sets and this is definitely one of the best ones I've ever seen. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

  • @Opine_Divine
    @Opine_Divine 6 лет назад +5

    This made me laugh so god damn hard. This is one of Ari's best bits.

  • @215whysoserious
    @215whysoserious 8 лет назад +111

    watching this while shitting on my toilet...

  • @chelseacolson796
    @chelseacolson796 8 лет назад +225

    Shitting in China must do wonders for you quads. No wonder why Chun Li has the biggest thighs in gaming.

    • @satan6169
      @satan6169 6 лет назад +1

      Chelsea Colson yes

    • @JASONZx6R
      @JASONZx6R 6 лет назад +7

      Chun li must eat a lot of Mexican food then
      .

  • @dann5396
    @dann5396 8 лет назад +7

    I couldn't stop watching the chick right behind Ari lose her shit for the whole story. Too funny

  • @digitalbots
    @digitalbots 5 лет назад +7

    This room is miced perfectly

  • @wock6496
    @wock6496 5 лет назад +2

    "Or taking the bacon" I'M CRIPPLED LMFAO 😂😂😂😂

  • @temujinartem2375
    @temujinartem2375 6 лет назад +27

    Japan and Korea have amazing toilets that are heated. I came back from japan and jumped when I sat on my cold as toilet.

    • @fullysuited
      @fullysuited 5 лет назад

      LOL

    • @JHeartsJ
      @JHeartsJ 5 лет назад

      Most korean toilets are not heated lol. Japan is way far ahead of korea on that. Only department stores and some big companies. I would say when I got herein 2008 you had a 50/50 chance of getting a squat toilet while out. Old buildings still mostly have squat toilets. But bc of the Winter Olympics a lot of places got updated so now it's more like 70/30 regular toilet to squat toilet.

  • @duro5020
    @duro5020 Год назад +1

    I saw his show in suzhou, China. Loved it!

  • @carlosr.martintoledo1224
    @carlosr.martintoledo1224 7 лет назад +4

    going to see Ari this week at the Comedy Cellar, so pumped! this story is so good

  • @AlkalineGamingHD
    @AlkalineGamingHD Год назад +2

    The way Ari introduced himself and then did a tone swap before 'taking the stage' was funny

  • @JustOrgil
    @JustOrgil 5 лет назад +3

    I thought he was gonna sneeze and then immediately walk away at then end xD

  • @jordanturner3009
    @jordanturner3009 6 лет назад +43

    I’m sad that the “or taking the bacon” line didn’t get a laugh.

    • @erinkelly3103
      @erinkelly3103 4 года назад +1

      Jordan Turner right !! I literally couldn’t believe he said it 😂😂

    • @ericpreston5826
      @ericpreston5826 4 года назад +1

      @Mitchel Eckman if you look at a hand dryer again, the diagram looks like bacon strips

  • @travisastone
    @travisastone 7 лет назад +64

    Spent 2 months in China the bathrooms are terrifying.....i have never smelt something so bad in my life, you can feel the stink on your skin........ The one place we stayed had the shower directly above the hole to shit in with no seat cover either.???Still worth a visit tho just be prepared. Also if you are a foreigner you will have your photo taken by tourists for some unknown reasons Chinese tourists love taking selfies with tourists. Also they don't know what no smoking signs are cause we found one on the bottom of a ash tray in our hotel and lastly they like to sell weird themed playing cards found a deck of cards that theme was and i kid you not Osama bin Laden with pictures of him on the cards, the 9 of hearts is a picture of 9/11?? so yes i bought them obviously still what the fuck China?? still if you like traveling its deferentially worth the visit despite being the weirdest place iv been.

    • @kingpotato7183
      @kingpotato7183 6 лет назад +10

      I finally get it, China is like what will happen if aliens found trinkets about our society and would have to make sense in their own way about what those trinkets are

    • @ltr4300
      @ltr4300 6 лет назад +5

      My elderly parents went to China for a month a few years back. My mom said of all the Chinese phrases she learned before going, she was most glad to have learned "Where is the closest Western-style bathroom?"

    • @zachgreening7757
      @zachgreening7757 6 лет назад

      @ashley hyatt voila

    • @veghead05
      @veghead05 5 лет назад

      😂😂😂😂😂

  • @storytimewithunclebill1998
    @storytimewithunclebill1998 2 года назад +1

    I just laughed so hard. When you got to go, you will figure it out. Was fun to watch. Great video

  • @dexontape
    @dexontape 8 лет назад +60

    Savage drinking game: Drink every time Ari shakes his head

    • @ademzettl5655
      @ademzettl5655 6 лет назад +1

      Or tells a poop joke

    • @PoppaCap69
      @PoppaCap69 5 лет назад

      Or says the word "shit"

    • @samuelgarrettbrown1
      @samuelgarrettbrown1 4 года назад

      hey so I tried this with the last 5 minutes of the video and I threw up

  • @rageagainstmyhairline5574
    @rageagainstmyhairline5574 5 лет назад

    Hands down Ari's best story on TINH. Brilliantly done.

  • @StatPlayer2301
    @StatPlayer2301 5 лет назад +6

    Am I trippin, or did I hear Rogan's laugh in the crowd? I wouldn't be surprised, but still lol

  • @puddumbig
    @puddumbig 5 лет назад +4

    comedy central:uncensored
    also comedy central:chinese S***t squat toilet
    gg

  • @Dave-qw1ts
    @Dave-qw1ts 8 лет назад +14

    "Taking the bacon"
    Talk about comedy skill. Like a sneaky hot sauce; it slowly creeps on you, then you get it.

  • @a.s.h.5774
    @a.s.h.5774 8 лет назад +2

    He's such a great comedian! His are usually my favorite of these

  • @MichaelFrancisRay
    @MichaelFrancisRay 8 лет назад +5

    That was some of the best ari shaffir ive ever fucking seen.

  • @InfiniteRhombus
    @InfiniteRhombus 4 года назад +2

    hes right though, I had the same experience in china, I wasn't smoking but another person in our group was and he was like "cops dont know what it smells or even looks like, they literally just think you're smoking a huge cigarette" and he was right, nobody said or did anything, it was great

  • @laceybonner7534
    @laceybonner7534 5 лет назад +3

    Living in Korea for a year, you run into those squat toilets every once and a while and definitely this story had me crying i was laughing so hard 😂😂😂

  • @danmanrubberband
    @danmanrubberband 6 лет назад +1

    This might be the single best sketch ever from begining to end

  • @koumori7177
    @koumori7177 8 лет назад +85

    I remember one time I was staying in a hotel in Beijing with a chick and didn't want to shit in the hotel room we were staying in so I went to the lobby restroom and I was looking through the stalls to only find squat toilets and finally I saw the last stall and was the happiest from seeing a regular toilet and shat like a patriot. Atleast Japan has both lol.

    • @kezaiaholeary4433
      @kezaiaholeary4433 6 лет назад +8

      Next time you visit china find thr disabled toilets

    • @jimpickens4
      @jimpickens4 5 лет назад +2

      @@kezaiaholeary4433 All the 'toilet's in China are disabled.

    • @jayblazin6082
      @jayblazin6082 5 лет назад

      Johnny Batz holy shit I went through that same situation. I ended up finding a toilet in some random Chinese doctors office, was so glad to see it

    • @janedoe-hq9vn
      @janedoe-hq9vn 3 года назад

      "Like a patriot" 🤣🤣🤣👍

    • @patrickinjapan7317
      @patrickinjapan7317 Год назад

      It seems to be about a 60/40 split here in Japan, western style toilets to hole in the ground style toilets.

  • @EnjoyerofYoutube
    @EnjoyerofYoutube 8 лет назад +2

    ari is getting better and better. hilarious story.

  • @pvtsh1tbag491
    @pvtsh1tbag491 5 лет назад +6

    He is wearing a custom suit. I've been in the suit industry.

  • @evananthony4506
    @evananthony4506 Год назад +1

    Why is Ari dressed like he's on his way to audition for Peaky Blinders? 😂

  • @EyeHeytEwe
    @EyeHeytEwe 6 лет назад +3

    I've never cringed at a joke before this. Thanks for sharing, Ari.🤣

  • @Tiffany-schliebe
    @Tiffany-schliebe 2 года назад

    Ari you are Amazing (specially cleaned up). Blessings Brother

  • @TheAlpineShepherdBoy
    @TheAlpineShepherdBoy 7 лет назад +46

    Just an FYI for anyone going to China, they do offer toilet paper but you have to buy it beforehand. Dirty trick.

  • @christopherlawyer4214
    @christopherlawyer4214 5 лет назад +2

    I lived and taught in South Korea for a year. It's even more fun to use one of those in the middle of winter when you've been drinking.

  • @rafaeljensen8973
    @rafaeljensen8973 7 лет назад +4

    this man is undoubtedly one of the funniest comedians of all time. major props, fucking priceless

    • @Smorgasvord
      @Smorgasvord 6 лет назад

      Rafael Jensen ehh idk about all that.

  • @nelsonthibeau4480
    @nelsonthibeau4480 3 года назад +1

    Back in the 70s my friend said he was going on a world trip and I said I had important advice for him..bring toilet paper..when he returned he said it was the best advice he ever gotten for traveling 😆

  • @KennyMcCormick99
    @KennyMcCormick99 3 года назад +3

    Ari is a GREAT Stand-Up/Story teller... While most comedians are just good at either or, he can do both really well!!
    (Both Bert K. & Tom Segura are also great at it!)

  • @marcalvarez4890
    @marcalvarez4890 2 года назад +1

    Ari....This is the best bit you've ever done.
    POW....lol

  • @javichino6371
    @javichino6371 8 лет назад +5

    Where I was there was no door or an entire wall between holes on the bathroom in China and I was 3 months there, so you are really lucky ^^

  • @ivargas220iv
    @ivargas220iv 5 лет назад

    I watched a bunch of these and swear to God this is the only one that cracks me up the most. I laughed so hard at this

  • @jules11788
    @jules11788 4 года назад +11

    Ari's pants are so baggy, that he looks like he was a part of the 2003 NBA draft class

  • @Samm3MC
    @Samm3MC 5 лет назад +1

    Just gotta say i love these shows. Great stories Funny as hell!!! Hope it keeps going.

  • @lexis8367
    @lexis8367 5 лет назад +4

    I've lived in China for the past 9 years and this was hilarious cuz it's ALLL true. Never look in the trash can!

  • @markgigiel2722
    @markgigiel2722 5 лет назад +2

    The shit mold for a retainer floored me.

  • @michaelpaulsen8447
    @michaelpaulsen8447 7 лет назад +15

    1.Ari killed this bit, great delivery and a good story, and I'm generally not a huge fan of his stand up, but this was good. 2. He fkin rocked that Mohawk, too bad years of wearing a yamaka led to premature balding. 3. Why was the union guy holding a stool like a cell phone when he was going to install a toilet?

    • @michaelpaulsen8447
      @michaelpaulsen8447 7 лет назад

      And you know that hole in the ground looked like a Nicole Simpson scene, just a pile of shit covered with coagulated anal blood

    • @Sunset553
      @Sunset553 5 лет назад +1

      *yarmulke

  • @tbasas89
    @tbasas89 8 лет назад +1

    Holy Shit. this is so funny. i cant stop laughing. you guys brought comedy to another level.

  • @mikeyo1O1
    @mikeyo1O1 8 лет назад +5

    I don't see what there is to complain about, I laughed my ass off. I spent a month in Vietnam though, so I can relate. In VN there was zero paper, but handheld ass squirters were actually pretty nice when you got used to them.

    • @spettit2011
      @spettit2011 6 лет назад +1

      mikeyo1O1 The bum gun!

    • @siddheshgandhi7668
      @siddheshgandhi7668 5 лет назад

      They are hands down the best (unless you get one with a limp squirt of water). You can control the intensity, flow, angle of approach. That is what we have in India mostly, at least in urban areas coupled with seat toilets. I feel like no other country would leave me satisfied when it comes to shitting. The thought of toilet paper gives me nightmares!

  • @XenosSavior
    @XenosSavior 5 лет назад +2

    "They don't prepare you AT ALL"
    [later]
    "And then I remembered, they told me about this!"
    "Some guy should warn you at the airport"
    [later]
    "Some guy just handed me a pack of tissues, and said, "You're gonna need these"
    haha sounds like they have it covered.

  • @MediHusky
    @MediHusky 4 года назад +4

    Squatting makes more sense. It always seemed troublesome while standing.

  • @robins.9700
    @robins.9700 8 месяцев назад

    "None!"
    "Counter offer - some!"
    😂😂😂😂😂

  • @muhahill3566
    @muhahill3566 6 лет назад +3

    i think it's hilarious how he keeps trying to put his fingers through hair that isn't there

  • @dkelly387z
    @dkelly387z Год назад +2

    Ari is f'ing hilarious!

  • @xxcreoxx4599
    @xxcreoxx4599 5 лет назад +4

    Anyone else that was taking a poo and watching this?

    • @1chrismj
      @1chrismj 4 года назад

      Enrique Argueta yep! Weird coincidence? YOU decide!

  • @seanhurley9216
    @seanhurley9216 3 года назад +1

    The laugh track tells you how funny this is

  • @jefff4625
    @jefff4625 8 лет назад +7

    KILLLLLEEEEDDDDDD ITTTTTTTTT

  • @marinecombatvet2669
    @marinecombatvet2669 2 года назад

    When he announces HIMSELF with "Mr".... LOL

  • @broncas
    @broncas 8 лет назад +31

    They should warn you before you enter the country. Same thing happened to me.

  • @n00bm0nkey8
    @n00bm0nkey8 8 лет назад

    Best squat down comedian ive seen in a year!

  • @Shawn-ne6ld
    @Shawn-ne6ld 2 года назад

    Just discovered ari last night and he is awesome. 💯💯💯🇺🇸

  • @CEJRAID
    @CEJRAID 8 лет назад +6

    God damn. This is hysterical. I was dying. Nothing like an awful shit story

  • @karenwilliams30527
    @karenwilliams30527 6 лет назад +1

    "Taking the bacon"!! 😂 👏🏻👍🏻💚

  • @Unz360
    @Unz360 8 лет назад +10

    I predicted the Drake reference at the end.. cookie now

  • @monitorlizard9971
    @monitorlizard9971 3 года назад

    im binging some ari for the first time. Every video I always think hes not going to be funny midway through his stories. but his jokes always ramp up and finally near the very very end its hysterical and im legitimately holding back from laughing too much. and ive already heard this from podcasts but this version of the story forced laughter out of me I didnt think I had tonight. XD

  • @newweaponsdc
    @newweaponsdc 6 лет назад +24

    On the strength of this alone I'm:
    a. Never going to China
    b. Never hiring an Union guy to fix my toilet, ever.

    • @adammacleod925
      @adammacleod925 6 лет назад +2

      lmao, have fun at some shitty resort or cruise ship on your vacations. It's called the rest of the world.

    • @IzzOfoSho
      @IzzOfoSho 6 лет назад +1

      Sure, live your entire life based on the anecdotal words of comedians. Haha

    • @Nantosuelta
      @Nantosuelta 5 лет назад +2

      @@adammacleod925 so the entire rest of the world consists of China!?

  • @maverickh9
    @maverickh9 8 лет назад

    Man this one had me crying. Fantastic.

  • @nrmdm
    @nrmdm 8 лет назад +3

    I actually just choked on my spicy rice because of you. I'm not even Chinese lol xD DUDE, I'm st chockingdjjj holy shimf.. FUCK

    • @nrmdm
      @nrmdm 8 лет назад

      DUDE xD

    • @nrmdm
      @nrmdm 8 лет назад

      +1n4r0m5d1.m31 I'm not even laughing anymore I'm chocking

    • @nrmdm
      @nrmdm 8 лет назад

      +1n4r0m5d1.m31 Dude, That was fucking insane. I almost choked to death over fucking rice. Not Joking

    • @nrmdm
      @nrmdm 8 лет назад

      +1n4r0m5d1.m31 I'm good now

    • @adamkosions1111
      @adamkosions1111 8 лет назад +1

      you trippin fam

  • @zacharybennett3249
    @zacharybennett3249 7 лет назад

    Best set I've seen all week! Ari's the man!

  • @kaydenstegman4439
    @kaydenstegman4439 7 лет назад +9

    ari looks like a character out of skyrim..

  • @frankaylwardjr4986
    @frankaylwardjr4986 6 лет назад

    Died laughing at 15:54 lol. I don’t see how Ari and other hilarious stand ups aren’t WAY bigger.

  • @johnebner4102
    @johnebner4102 4 года назад +6

    Ari needs to make another kobe joke

  • @TheStoicApe
    @TheStoicApe 5 лет назад

    I loved ari as the host of this is not happening..

  • @kitpalmer1583
    @kitpalmer1583 8 лет назад +4

    is that a bolo tie?

    • @SuperRDAN
      @SuperRDAN 6 лет назад

      Kit Palmer yep

    • @CuneoWineTime
      @CuneoWineTime 5 лет назад

      The longer you look at this ensemble of his, the less sexy it gets...I love it

  • @Madfattdeeb
    @Madfattdeeb 3 года назад

    Wow! He had me laughing so hard I almost choked and died.🤣😂

  • @Virg0Gypsy
    @Virg0Gypsy 7 лет назад +7

    There's toilets in the Philippines my dude. Thank God!