Fear of not sleeping ever again?
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- Опубликовано: 5 июл 2024
- For those who fear they might never sleep again ❤️🩹
Links on studies about misperception of sleep
www.academia.edu/15306432/Tim...
www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/arti...
www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/arti...
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DISCLAIMER: Not medical advice. Everything on this channel represents personal opinion and experience and is provided for informational purposes only. The author is not a medical doctor, psychotherapist or any other licensed professional. Any information on this channel does not constitute and/or substitute medical, psychotherapy, counselling or any other professional advice and treatment. It is not intended to treat, cure, diagnose any medical or psychological condition or disorder. Always seek professional licensed help if you have any health concerns.
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What to watch next
How to stop fearing insomnia: • How to stop fearing in...
Behavioural principle #1 to recover from insomnia: • Behavioural principle ...
Anxiety about anxiety: • When insomnia takes a ...
What to read next
Perfectionism and insomnia: www.sleepcoach.sk/perfectioni...
On the “sandstorm”. When you have no idea what to do: www.sleepcoach.sk/sandstorm-d...
3 reasons why we feel worse after a night of good sleep: www.sleepcoach.sk/sleep-anxie...
My other resources & links
💌 Weekly Newsletter (Sleep Talks Letters): sleeptalks.substack.com/
👋 Follow me on Instagram: / sleeptalks.ali
❤️🩹 Read my insomnia recovery story: www.sleepcoach.sk/my-insomnia...
📣 Work with me (1-1): www.sleepcoach.sk/contact-me/
Special thanks to Sarah, Santiago, Gigi and Liza for supporting me on Patreon - you are the best!
If you wish to support my work on Patreon too ❤️: / sleeptalks
Ensure to like and subscribe to Fearless sleep before proceeding to read the message below :)
- [00:00] 🛌 **Everyone Will Sleep Eventually**
- Everyone, regardless of their anxiety or insomnia, will sleep at some point.
- The inevitability of sleep is a fact, not an affirmation or belief.
- Fears about prolonged wakefulness are often exaggerated and not based on how sleep actually works.
- [02:04] 🧠 **Misconceptions About Sleep Duration**
- People often misjudge the amount of sleep they get, especially those with insomnia.
- Instances of perceived prolonged wakefulness are often due to sleep state misperception.
- Personal experiences of thinking one is awake all night are common but usually inaccurate.
- [04:23] 💤 **Hyperarousal and Sleep Perception**
- Hyperarousal can make people feel like they are awake even when they are asleep.
- Studies show that people with insomnia often underestimate their sleep time.
- The body goes through sleep patterns even when the mind is vigilant and anxious.
- [06:15] 🕒 **Differentiating Actual Sleep Deprivation from Insomnia**
- The feeling of sleep deprivation due to insomnia differs from actual sleep deprivation.
- Experiences in situations like staying up all night feel distinctly different from insomnia-induced wakefulness.
- Insomnia-related wakefulness includes moments of sleep that are often not remembered.
- [08:19] 🧐 **Attention and Memory in Insomnia**
- During insomnia, the mind may focus more on awake periods and disregard moments of sleep.
- This selective attention is similar to how people focus on specific tasks and ignore other details.
- The mind's tendency to focus on wakefulness over sleep can distort perception of sleep duration.
- [10:52]🌙 **Physiology of Sleep and Insomnia**
- Human physiology ensures that sleep occurs regardless of conscious worries or insomnia.
- The specific timing and manner of falling asleep cannot be predicted or controlled.
- The body will naturally obtain the sleep it needs, independent of conscious effort.
- [13:01] 🔄 **Embracing the Natural Sleep Process**
- Interfering with or trying to control the sleep process can lead to more struggle.
- Accepting and trusting the body's natural sleep process leads to a smoother experience.
- Sleep will occur naturally, and the approach to it can influence the comfort level during the process.
I cant tell you how much just listening to these videos have helped me. It is like a therapy session on its own, so reassuring to hear logic smash through my sleep anxiety. I feel like I have not slept for days on end, I get into bed sleepy but stay awake for hours... it has crushed my spirit. I crash and sleep for 12+ hours after three days of this. But hearing these videos helps me avoid hyper focusing on my insomnia which is currently crippling my mental health because I cant focus at work. Thank you so much! Hoping all insomniacs around the world will be healed from the chaos
It's so hard to not spend every waking hour thinking about sleep when you are going through the struggle.
dealing with it for almost 4 years😢
@@user-vo7ru9xm4u poor soul. How many hours you getting each night
4 years of sleep anxiety and praying for some mystical set of words to make me feel better and now I’ve finally heard it. Thank you so so much! The evidence of the last 4 years is that I’ve coped with every “bad night” but the fear of not being able to cope has always been the fuel for the anxiety. This video has so helped me to realise that I’m getting more sleep than I realise, even during heavy anxiety nights. Bless you!
JUST A THOUGHT.
There’s this guy who claims he hasn’t slept for 55 years. When you think about no sleep, you think organs not working and the body giving up. However, despite being awake as per him, studies conducted showed he had no health issues whatsoever. So now the question that comes up is, how exactly did he not develop any health issues if he wasn’t sleeping. The answer is very simple. He was sleeping but it was either paradoxical insomnia or micro-dosing on sleep
thank you so much. this video just got me out of a mental breakdown
I do fall asleep and I don’t remember when and how it actually happened. That is so true and freeing. Thank you Alina.
I had 4 days of zero sleep. I was pacing all night - having panic attacks. Days were torture. I truly don’t believe I slept.
Can you tell me that only in night you can't sleep or also in dayz like in morning and evening?
It's very calming listening to you.
The body will always sleep. That’s not reassurance, that’s a fact.
Even manic people who stay up for weeks eventually crash and sleep for days on end.
I was awake for 9 days long. But then I just slept for 7 hours at the 10th night. I think fear was the reason of my condition. Now I can face the fear and it is getting better now.
Thank you alina! There are nights when i just close my eyes and i feel like i did not sleep at all but after what you said I'm more calm now.
This video is so amazing! I’m so glad to hear this. Thank you 🙏.
This is fantastic. Thank you Alina!
Glad it was helpful!
You are fantastic!!!!! the best sleep coach I have ever came across!! I believe you were the missing Link to what I needed to hear and understand thank you so much. You are great at what you do and are helping us. Love your subtlety and depths of explaining things. I wish you well in your insomnia career. Thank you.🙏🙏♥️
PS. I totally agree with you my sleep deprivation when I was breastfeeding was much different than my so-called insomnia sleep deprivation wow...
I came to the same realization within the last week or so while watching Netflix during a "sleepless" night. I must've slept, because my memory goes from episode 1 to episode 7 of whatever series I was watching with very little memory of stuff happening in between; I have a vague memory of acknowledging the "are you still watching?" prompt at some point but that's about it. So it might not have been deep sleep, but it was sleep.
Alina you are wonderful! Everything you say is so comforting 😊
Could you make another video on the topic of “fear of appointments/driving due to insomnia”? or is there already a video on this topic?
Alina i love your video's! They helped me a lot how to approach it and now and how to see it all. ❤
Thank you!!!
Hi Alina, this is a good video. I was in your class for coaching under coach Daniel. Anyways i am med free but relapsed 2 weeks ago all under this core fear. Up and down at night completing OCD rituals all night to exhaustion which has led me to take a stand and I am ready to face this fear of no sleeping and just rest and relax in bed!❤
Hey Jacob! So nice to hear from you! And sorry to hear about the relapse. This journey can be so bumpy and frustrating, but Im so glad to see your determination and willingness to get in touch with that fear
Alina you are so amazing, your work is precious and extremely helpful. ❤️
Also, what I find super helpful with anxiety/ OCD and 'what-if-thoughts' is to respond to them in a sarcastic or even ridiculous way.
So your mind goes like: what if I don’t sleep for 5 days?
And you can answer to your brain something like: yea SURE, I am not gonna sleep at all, ha ha. I’ll not sleep for the rest of my life; whatever. Sureeeeee.😂
And kinda make fun of the things your mind is coming up with while still not ignoring it. For me this was the way to radical acceptance because through humour and sarcasm we can 'fake it until we make it'.
Love this approach! :)
@@Ellael98 Thank you. My thought is i will loose my control/die after i don't sleep for more than 2-3 days and the fear keeps me more awake
Thks Alina for this video, every thing you said is true. I usually dream but don't know whether I slept wish is strange
Me too, isn't that paradoxical insomnia? I've had it since my insomnia started. I never know if I'm asleep, just pass out and come to. The only way I know if im asleep is if i dream. Dream sleep doesnt constitute replenishing sleep. Sasha really touches on this in her book. One can sleep for hours but if you aren't spending enough time in each stage, especially deep sleep you're never fully replenishing yourself.
At first I thought "Why should I listen to this kid?", now I know! A very insightful and fresh take on a subject I thought I understood. Thank you for your perspective and excellent explanation. I've been arriving at a similar conclusion via a different route and your perspective provides much needed support and motivation.
So glad to hear this!
Hi Alina, I have a question:
Sometimes when I’m awake, the fear of being awake force me to be sleepy. In those instances, I can choose 2 ways:
1/ try to stay awake by forcing my eyes to open and say to myself that being awake is good for me ( as paradoxical intension teach me)
2/ let the fear of awakening continue (means let the sleepiness continue) but no do anything and learn the sensation of the fear being awaken (as Daniel teaching)
Thanks
Love this. I remember learning about paradoxical insomnia a few years ago when insomnia first popped up, forgot about it over time as my sleep improved. Recently had a bout of bad insomnia pop up, trying to relearn the ways I got through it before. This was very helpful! There's a few times recently where I feel I was experiencing this. I would feel very calm physically and mentally, and have absolutely no thoughts going through my head, time would pass and all of a sudden I would be like, wait, was I asleep? I would tell myself I wasn't but still feel very confused feeling almost like I was, and I do think I was.
Thank you Alina
My Dr has put me on Lunesta to try to regulate my chronic insomnia.
Can finding acceptance with my insomnia still work while taking sleep meds. Just trying to find a little relief for a bit
Thank God Bless you
I would like to say yes to this question. As I use an aid as well. As long as we aren’t giving the aid all the power. In other words, after taking it, stating that this is the only way I will sleep. I like to say, this will help me rest better and one day I may not need it anymore. Then it becomes a bit of a sleep thing effort. Wondering how you are doing now ! ?
Hello :) thanks for your videos. It helped me a lot. But , tomorrow I will start a new job. Everytime I start a new job, its an all nighter... What do you suggest to do ? I'm also afraid that it starts another speedbump.. Thanks a lot.
Dear Alina 😊? Thank you so much for your videoes. It gives me new thoughts about my insomnia? What is your take on sleeping during the day? I feel so exhausted during the day and find it difficult not to take some naps. I feel afraid that it will disturb ny Sleep at night.
Hi Alina. Love your channel. What do you recommend for a snoring partner? It seems like I’ve been noticing it more lately which has been leading to more frustration and less sleep.
Hi Daniel! 😊 I covered this topic in my last Insomnia Q&A episode, you can check it out and see if it provides some clarity! ruclips.net/video/vrxnr_TpCC8/видео.html
If i was making statement i would say i havent slept for 4 monts with excepton of like 2 knowing sleeps. No torturing or anyhting hapend to me (big shock to the body hapend to me but thats about it). So either transition from sleeping to waking up is so unnoticeble hence I think i havent slept or i havent slept. Basicly I lost Sleep inertia :D. Now sometimes what hapens is my body goes breething as if i was asleep - kidna calm relaxed way, my head is resting regenerating as if i was asleep, my right eye is shutdown as if i was asleep my muscles get relaxed and at the same time i am awake. Am feeling the energy and calmnes of the situation - awaken while relaxing feeling slowly beyign regenerated while i can move all my limbs and everyhting, not having dreams, still able to think completely clearly yet regenerating so well. Then I get out of bed when i feel the procces is geting over and sudenly my thinking proceses gets back to the level as of some person that got good night of sleep. Thought? Anyone experienced somehtign like that?
The closest feeling how to describe it is to what normal person with normal sleeping paterns feels when he wokenup but still lies in bed for bit longer, to get the good feeling in brain and he wont getup till he feels fully regenerated even tho hes already woken and does this proces while woken. So is there such thing as "sleeping" while concieous/awake for month in a row? Because right now I think what some insomnia people feel is corect - they dont sleep, theyir brain just rests by laying down yet beyign aware of surounding and havign ability to move. Just the closing eyes makes them feel rested at the end. Somethink like people do with their 15m close eyes rests(still awake tho) to be able to work for 1hour more.
Hey Coach Alina, thank you for this great insight. I’m learning more and trying to foster this new way of thinking to help with sleep. Oh boy is it difficult. I have two questions for you. I’m wondering, do you feel that those that have been struggling for months and months opposed to those who have only struggled for a few weeks take longer to get back to good sleep ? I’m pretty certain my hyper arousal is due to underlying anxiety condition that I have had and some ptsd. And do you have any recommendations or resources for how to keep looking forward when every morning and day you deal with extreme fatigue? And brain fog It’s almost like how my body feels the next day is a reminder of poor sleep which brings me back to my many sleep efforts. I feel like if I felt optimal the day after a poor sleep I probably wouldn’t care about getting poor sleep. I will also highlight that I have a bit of health anxiety and an extremely type A person. Thanks so much ! I am so grateful for you and Dr. Dan. This is an extremely painful and isolating experience.
Thanks for your comment LBrooke! To be honest, I haven't seen a stable pattern when it comes to different insomnia stories. I've seen people having longer experience with insomnia but the recovery journey was surprisingly fast. I've seen people having shorter lasting insomnia and taking a bit more time. So I guess there is no normal or abnormal duration of the journey. I think that when we stop fixating on how long our journey should take, stop comparing ourselves to others and just let it unfold naturally, we might start seeing changes quite soon.
As for the other question - yeah, It is hard to not fear nights when we haven't yet experienced having a choppy night AND having a good day. Such an experience would be valuable indeed. But we don't have to force it. I would start with noticing very subtle changes. For example, I had a rough night and I felt so tired the whole day, but I did one nice thing for myself. Or I my colleague complimented my work. Or anything that made the day at least 1% less shitty than before..That is already better than spending the day without showing even a little bit of self-kindness and care. So with noticing tiny shifts, we can build our way to more prominent changes. Hope this made sense and thanks for being here!
@@FearlessSleep Thank you for your response and yes makes perfect sense. I’m on the road to sleep wellness !
Hi alina how to handle dizziness
I really wish I could say I was unaware I was asleep during the night...I'm on my 5th day with 0 sleep. I know this as I have started to just go out for night drives all night just to pass the time. During the day, I had my wife test with me since she said she could hear me snoring in the chair watching TV during the day. So I had her talk to me if she heard me snore...I have my eyes wide open and I am just so exhausted at this point that my breathing sounds like snoring from time to time but the brain is still on and I can carry a conversation if she "wakes" me. I don't think I'll be sleeping any time soon.
How are you doing, 10 months on?
03:07 it happened to me yesterday I had this problem 3 months ago but yesterday I was trying to sleep but I couldn’t fall asleep even though I’m sleepy,anyways I stayed laying down and closing my eyes trying to think about anything and I’m thinking that I’m not sleeping but when I woke up I find out that I actually slept because when I woke up I looked through my phone it was 11:30 am and I was like wow I saw it was 12:30 am just 5 minutes ago and then I find out that was a dream so I actually slept
Did you as well experience chronic pain during your time with insomnia? I mean sore joints and hypersensitive reactions like muscle twitching?
Hi Christoph, I did experience hypnic jerks, though chronic join pain wasn’t my experience
@@FearlessSleep hi coach for how many days u faced hypnic jerks...my jerks disappeared..bt still can't fall asleep or you told in this video I am just getting hypersleep....so what should I do next
Hi rahul. They were appearing throughout my journey once in a while. As I wrote in one of the comments to your question about h. jerks, the expectation that sleep must be happening after having no jerks is what may keep a person awake even though jerks aren’t happening anymore. I would try to look into that expectation and see if you aren’t still pressuring sleep to happen because that might create hyperarousal that doesn’t look like hypnic jerks but as bewilderment, alertness, curiosity, etc.
@@FearlessSleep yes absolutely right coach...one last question
Even if I don't feel sleepy can I just close my eyes n give my body rest ? With 0 sleep expectations & no anxiety. Or this will turn into sleep effort?
@@rahulpardeshi6646 This can be alright. When we do something not out of expectations but just because it feels good in the moment, then it isn;t a sleep effort
While I agree that everyone with insomnia will sleep again at some point (meaning a good night here and there). I don't know if everyone that has insomnia will ever get back to their old sleeping self. I think some get lucky and others dont.
Hi, this isn’t the case at all. This is really fear and anxiety talking. I had someone tell me that the fear/anxiety always just manifest at the same time so there’s this illusion that you’ll never sleep because it’s pretty much on a loop. There’s a lot of addressing of the anxiety and practicing to work with it instead of against it. Once your safety center begins to see that you’re safe, that loop and cycle will fade. It takes time.
That’s a common worry, and I had it too during my recovery process. The way I explain this is since the way out of insomnia is based on how our brain works (at least my path was based in that foundation) then I see no reason why this isn’t possible for anyone - since human brains work in a more or less the same way! That said, it doesn’t mean that the process should look exactly the same for everyone, some people arrive there faster, for some it takes more time (I am the one on the longer side) - but it doesn’t mean that someone is capable of that and others aren’t
@@lovelysee3780 Everyone is built different, hence why everyone's journey with this is different. While we can all share some common similarities with insomnia symptoms, how our bodies react and the toll it takes is completely different as well. I see that's why some people might recover in months, years, or decades. I'm sure there has to be people that haven't recovered. If it takes me decades...I'm dead before I recover due to age. Why do some people beat cancer and others dont. It's just a matter of luck in the end. I'm sorry, I don't mean to sound pessimistic or negative. That is not what I'm trying to convey. I'm just a personality type that is extremely literal with possibility. Very few things are fact to me (within a certain scope) until they happen. Just because it's fact to me does not mean it's fact to someone else. Very few outcomes in life are constants.
@@FearlessSleep I would say I agree that it's possible for some and potentially not possible for others. I would love to see some data collection of people with insomnia to see how many recovered vs not, over various amounts of time. I would also say your recovery was quick from the timeline you showed (approximately 2 years?), with a fairly large stretch of doing well before a large speed bump. When I first found insomnia "recovery" on RUclips (Trevor's channel) I thought it was possible...I believed for the first time after surviving months of suicidal hell. I did coaching with him immediately. I then found Daniel's channel through Trevor. Ahh finally I will be cured. More coaching and programs and reading books. Now over a year into this I'm left with more questioning then belief. I love my current coach and owe a lot of my life to them. I still have hope, but the realist in me also has seen that some of the success stories are people who are not fully recovered and are still struggling, or were just in a better place temporarily. There's is nothing more to learn or do at this point, just wait and hope.
I understand your disbelief and as in fact I too was jumping from one teaching to another, read different sources until I realized that there won’t be one source that would cover my whole issue, and eventually started arriving to my personal insights. So in a way it is discovering your unique path… I was talking about it in the episode “when a teaching doesn’t click”.
Anyway, your story makes me think of very well hidden attempts to get control over sleep, when each new teaching eventually leads to becoming an effort. Where in the beginning it works , we get hope and we feel like we’ve got it and then it kinda “fails us”. What I think is happening is that we begin to give that teaching the power to put us to sleep, thus using it as another effort, while in reality it is not the teaching that makes us sleep but utter abandonment of trying to figure it out. But that’s definitely not an easy path!
Before, I can sleep in whatevee time I have to. Now, it's all messed up. I need to process this video because I'm scared of getting sleep drug dependency because of sleep anxiety
Hi Coach,
I feel like my fear is solely from the horrible negative experiences of people with insomnia. I fear that I’ll struggle with this situation all my life. I know it might just be an intrusive thought but my brain immediately finds evidence to back it up with the experiences of people and how they haven’t been able to recover. How do I proceed in such a situation? It’s the only thing that’s putting so much pressure on me and the constant anxiety and panic.
Acceptance is something and facing my fears but if I have this fear of a long stretch of sleepless nights and it occurring again and again, how do I even deal with it?
I can’t face such an irrational fear because it only grows. One night without sleep changes to two and so on and so forth
I’m similar to u, my fear is long stretches of zero sleep! Cuz I’ve gone several times a ridiculous amount of days without sleep. Makes me feel quite abnormal unfortunately.
@@angelamillayare you feeling better now?
are u feeling better now ?
Have you ever heard of fatal insomnia? As a person with OCD, that’s what I worry about. What do you make of that?
Yes, I have heard of that. Many people worry about having “fatal insomnia” when they start sleeping worse (and ask google). I did as well at first. however this condition has a very unfortunate name as it has nothing to do with insomnia as we typically experience it. The best education on that topic so far is on The Sleep Coach School channel -> a playlist called something like Sporadic fatal insomnia series and where all the myths and fears about that disease get demystified and a person can find a lot of reassurance and peace. Hope it helps!
Our brains 🧠 are designed to sleep imperative for our mental health
My friend didn't sleep for many months. How do get normal sleep back?
Check their diet.
I’ve been researching and wondering if there is anyone like me. And well the comments and this video proves I’m not the only one in the world. At night I get scared I won’t sleep every night I cry I worry I tell myself if I can’t sleep how can I ever be happy how can do I do things in my day I have sleep anxiety about sleep all because on night I didn’t sleep now it’s this vicious never ending cycle. Ive never had trouble with sleeping but I’m definitely hypper arousal and I guess it’s cause I have anxiety and I’m trying to be aware when I’ll sleep and I’m forcing it but sometimes I’m scared I will have thoughts that won’t let me sleep I have thoughts like oh, if I watch this show and it’s good I won’t be able to sleep cause I’ll be thinking about it. I even stopped watching social media vids with sound on cause I’m scared a song will be repetitive and it will be stuck in my head then I can’t sleep
Iam struggling with this situation when Iam not sleep whole night and in 7 oclock my collage starts than I start panic that Iam going collage without sleep and I would never sleep again these thoughts gives me more anxiety and Iam whole day worry and feared about next night😢😢😢😨😨😨
Did you experience dry eyes because of insomnia?
hypnic jerks keeps me awake for 2 nights... Can't wait for this night :P
The fear is not that we will never sleep again but how easy it is not to sleep especially for days before getting poor sleep eventually. I myself won’t sleep for 3-5 days before getting broken 2-3 hours of sleep. This is just as terrifying as never sleeping again. Some of us have actual underlying condition causing insomnia in which cbti does nothing
Yes, there are different types of fear, including the fear of never sleeping again and the fear of not sleeping for a long period of time (I had both types and this video was addressing the first type primarily, which not everyone experience but some do)
I agree that cbti has lots of limitations. Personally to me cbti was not helpful and I don’t really talk about this approach on my channel.
Plus sleep can disrupted due to different health conditions and of course if that is the case, these issues have to be addressed with medical professionals.
Do u have some medical condition because you mentioned that a medication triggers to my brain cause insomnia. All these comment s of sleeping not 5days trigger me a lot. Because anxiety medicine does not create insomnia
@@user-is7ly9oo2p insomnia is one of the more common side effects in ssri medications. As for for medical condition I’m currently seeing a neurological for a possibly MS diagnosis.
@@javixavalier4456 I actually agree with you. Some medications can create sleep disruption. I don't discount that at all. My insomnia also started with a side effect to medication. It was antibiotics called ofloxacin which led me to two nights of no sleep in january 2020. I panicked of course and I went to the doctor who suggested a different AB. So i think that if sleeplessness is caused by something like that, it is of course has to be addressed. But what followed after was the fear that I developed from those two sleepless nights. There was no longer reason why I wouldn't sleep since I wasn't taking that AB but I kept having sleepless nights. This is when I started to have a clue that my fear of sleeplessness is what was running the show.
can you get to the point and stop making 20 minute videos