5 Things To Know About Passive Suicidal Ideation
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- Опубликовано: 23 июл 2023
- Have you ever wanted to go to sleep and just never wake up?
Do you wish something would happen to you today to put you out of your misery?
Do you want to die, but don't want to be the one to make it happen?
These are all forms of something we call passive suicidal ideation or passive SI. Millions of people experience this, yet almost nobody talks about it and even many mental health professionals don't really understand it.
In today's episode, I discuss how passive SI differs from intrusive thoughts about death, how it's not a reliable indicator of the severity of depression, why it should always be taken seriously, how it can be treated, and where it comes from. I also have a very important question for you to answer if you experience passive SI.
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Disclaimer: This content is not intended to be a replacement for receiving treatment. It is purely educational in nature. My relationship with you is that of presenter and audience, not therapist and client. But I do care.
It feels like staying alive for other people is just another form of people pleasing
This!
It's called Compassion and Kindness
I dont know, but i would hate to leave a couple of people living their lives with me gone.
I dont think this is "people pleasing"
Live for urself as well. Hold on tightly, let go lightly...
Exactly
Excessive sleeping is my only relief. My dreaming life is SO much better than my waking life.
Peace is falling asleep,,,,, waking is misery.
SAME
So was mine. It changed unfortunately. Every night I have nightmares, my long dead mother rising from the grave abusing me again, being tortured to death by my brother in law, drowned in the arctic in ice water and so on and so forth. During my wake days I suffer mobbing and exploitation by my hostage taker boss, and self injury that makes me unable to take responsibility. I somehow watch myself going down. It feels unspectacular. It just happens, I’m not controlling anything anymore. I don’t want to be put out on the streets again. I want to be done.
@@ralphbaier7793 I'm so sorry to hear this.
@@The_best_days_are_yesterdays im Sorry to have worried you, please forgive. Soul baring like i have done is to no avail. I’m happy you still have your refuge. Maybe mine will open again someday. I used to dream of the child hood farm I grew up close to. I want to be with those cows again.
Look how many people clicked on this. We are all so mentally exhausted and treading water day after day.
Maybe some of those are people just trying to understand their friends and family.
I actually imagine. Many of those afflicted by this, "just don't care". For me, this video is to understand WHY people care so much that I still exist.
Feels like the waves keep coming and getting bigger each time. And the waves are knocking us down
not just that im tired of treading water. it's that I am completely surrounded by the endless ocean. im 28 I still have do this 40+ more
I'm 55 and lucky enough that l still occasionally want to get down on my knees in relief when im stoned. Cannabis doesn't always work, there's also a few side effects and disadvantages, together with the whole legality aspect that has unfortunately led to quite some sacrifices but on the whole l dont know how l could have made it this far without it. People who dont smoke earn my respect, and furthermore those who don't smoke and have family and steady job and what not as well truly earn a jaw dropping in my view. But for me personally it's the only relief that l ever get, like this morning l was gardening and got just a little joy of life again, whereas earlier after l had awoken l was in a somewhat ghastly mood with seemingly no way out. Had to basically force myself to smoke because it appears that I basically even have trouble achieving being a pathetic stoner for the day. What mastery.
@andinelson1 How do you think you can change that? @unitednations
"I have spent all my life resisting the desire to end it," Franz Kafka.
I am a chicken shit coward. I to scared to "off" myself... Must be something deeply rooted in many humans, to not "off" oneself.
That is because we all have souls our souls are eternal and when we die we just become another person until we pass the test of life and go back to heaven where we all originated from hell isn't what we think it is hell is actually everyone's current reality in our bodies because we are eternal beings
@@divinebeing2476oh stop it
Gee that’s a hard hitter
@@runeskyttsing9089 yes, self-preservation is evolutionary, that's what makes that decision extremely difficult
2,500 years ago, Greek writer Aeschylus wrote: The luckiest are the ones that were never born
Do you believe that?
@@AngstyAnon
Yes
@@AngstyAnoni often wish my mom had an abortion.
I agree. I didn't ask to be here.
💯
On the flip side I can now travel all around the world because I lost my lifelong phobia of flying because I no longer cared if the plane crashed 😊
😂 way to look on the bright side!
@@villepakarinen8323 exactly!
Sweet, us broke people can only imagine traveling all.over the world and dying in a crash 🗑
@@MyNameIsJeff2023 I am poor but not stupid with money. It's a life skill that some people don't have the wits to achieve.
@@MyNameIsJeff2023lmaoo
Those few seconds that I'm drifting into sleep are so comforting and temporarily take away the pain of being alive.
Sleeping is no longer sleeping..
It's an escape from reality..
At 67 yrs. old I never imagined the Nightmare this world is..
Hope for the best...
So true. But you are not alone in this
@orangeorangeness2116 Life sure can bombard us with unnecessary drama, sometimes. I hope you feel better soon. @unitednations
@@david-gu1bi I hear ya' honey, I'm 63 & in 2017, I'm not exaggerating when I say, without laughing hysterically at the mere idea of it because (what the he$$ ??) I never gave any real consideration to the idea of multiple dimensions possibly existing, but...nonetheless, here I am about to tell you that in mid 2017 I felt something, I can't even describe it, it was a 'knowing', something changed like a switch was flipped and over about 5 days time I, for some reason, felt like I was NOT even in the same exact world I'd been in for 56 years; everything was off, different in weird ways. Like if you didn'r know my kids or 6 sisters, then you woulsn't notice it but when people are saying & doing tthings totally out of character to who they'd always beeb....it was too noticeable to me. It continued to get worse every month for me.Did anyone else go through such feelings, n a passing thought but real certainty that everyone shfted & only I realized iit. No, "i'm not nuts I swear, not yet atleast...lol.
I’m only here bc I don’t want others to be sad or traumatize anyone else. I’m living for others
Just waiting until my parents pass away. Then I’m out of here.
I'm waiting out my dog.
She is 10.
Would never abandon her to live in a shelter.
Freedom is not too far away.
@mattchancey3202 I am here for my disabled son.... so I am stuck here for a long long time... just doing the motions
@@mattchancey3202 bruh...
@@SubjectiveFunny :/
The end point really was crucial. Sometimes this ‘illness’ is not an illness. It’s a normal reaction to abnormal circumstances. We have to stop medicalization of the human condition. If you have damn good reasons to be miserable, you ain’t sick. You need change, but you know you’re trapped.
I totally agree - you can't medicate your way out of poverty, for example. If we had good assists suicide facilities I would leave this life, peacefully, now. But, I won't give myself a messy ending, because I wouldn't want put family or friends through that. So, l I'm left with are dark fantasies of my suffering finally coming to an end.
"Imagine a society that subjects people to conditions that make them terribly unhappy, then gives them the drugs to take away their unhappiness. Science fiction? It is already happening to some extent in our own society... Instead of removing the conditions that make people depressed, modern society gives them antidepressant drugs. In effect, antidepressants are a means of modifying an individual's internal state in such a way as to enable him to tolerate social conditions that he would otherwise find intolerable." -Ted Kaczynski
Your video made me wonder if there could really be hope .I have multiple sclerosis and have come to terms that there is no cure so thank you ❤
@@crimson4066 Well he is wrong, you don't need this drugs, mostly the brain is drugging and changing the program itself. Think about the people that where abducted, they grow to like the person that has abducted them. Or think about reallly messy 3th world countrys, where people still live besides the fact that there is nothing to live for, just suffering. So if things are unbarable the brain will change your view most of the time.
@@crimson4066 He was a genius. It is society that is sick.
Sleeping is the best part of the day
I slept hard AF without night terrors a few times today, but menstrual cycle starting can really kick my ass and make me sleep like that. Otherwise if my brain decides to have flashbacks of crap or forget im in my current home, thinks im still back home married, idk how to make it stfu in my sleep yet lol. Can talk myself down or message an empathetic stranger, call 988 or whatever if im distraught and awake. Not sure what the hell to do aside from cannabis gummies (hemp thc & cbd not weed because weed gives me panic attacks) and rx drugs gabapentin has been a bit useful. Ambien is a no go it made me try to fight people when sleepwalking and leave the building i was in, apparently i wanted to go see a giant clown statue outside because under the influence of ambien i wasnt scared of it lol😂
@@amberfitz-randolph392 Medical personal, it is time to REPENT AND BORN AGAIN!
I agree, all I want to do is sleep, and no one understands. Everyone thinks I’m lazy
Same I just want to sleep and be left alone.
@@SDS-ee9js Matthew 11:28 KJV
Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.
The utter deep disappointment I feel every morning i wake up that I’m still here never gets easier.
❤
♥
I hear ya, big time!
Feel this way daily but yesterday and last night; it hit hard. Was up to 3 am cuz I was running scripts of things about life and just how I'm at my plateau. Losing interest, energy, and the will to do anything.
My sister someday that deep, sweet sleep will be yours. Believe it . Make SURE you are prepared, I have had to pay for 4 funerals in 2 years it's no joke. Prepay your service, make SURE your clothes are ready and your affairs settled. Soon, soon. Be comforted.
There’s something comforting in the idea that I’m not the only one feeling this way
Yes.
Yea it’s ok
Because the others know how we feel. Maybe not so much in words, but in emotion or lack of it. (Sometimes we feel empty or numb.) Someone who has not experienced depression doesn't know that feeling. It's easier to talk to someone who knows.
If you find one, a support group could be a good thing .
Yeah. Like we aren't going through this alone
I wish we could meet and hug each other 😭😭😭
Having no friends no partner,getting old and isolated these are really hard things to resolve especially if your mood is erratic and self esteem has sunk to an all time low.😅
I’m in the same place in life. It sucks. Though I’m coming to realize it’s not hopeless.
im like this cant be life and then im thinking like it is sometimes life is cruel
If stuck, rescue and animal who needs your love. Start serving others- Habitat for Humanity, etc. Join a church which shows only love without judgement.
These help somewhat.
Yes, it's challenging. The challenge is for you to decide, are you going to sit back & accept that..or are you going to push yourself to go..volunteer at a soup kitchen, join an exercise class for seniors. Etc.Just take one baby step when you can.
that's my life right there.
As someone who was tormented by this for around two decades, I agree with everything you say. After about a year of therapy I realised this was my body's way of telling me my life had to change. I started by ending my relationship. Then, a few years later (after more therapy), I moved continents and started an entirely new profession. I'm now 59, and have been living a satisfying, meaningful life for around 15 years. Take my word for it, it's never too late to embark on the life you deserve - it just feels that way when you're trapped in this seemingly endless depressive cycle.
I love this Sean! Thanks for sharing!
I'm 58 1/2, and think like this all the time. I'm lost.
I’m 38 am I late for a change? My body tells me everyday this ain’t my place. I just want to move to another whole country but I’m too scared.
@@giuliapareti1797 it’s never too late! I’m 40 and still figuring my life out
@@DrScottEilers ty for your reply. I just feel so trapped and scared sometimes it feels like it’s too late.
I think Earth is a prison planet.
Look into archons and satanic Gnosticism that’s exactly what you’re on about
I think it's hell
I think the same
Earth IS a prison planet.
Same...
“I don’t wanna die, but I’m not keen on living either”- Robbie Williams. This is me to a tee 🥺😢😭😭
I felt suicidal for most of my life.
What finally broke me out of it was the realisation that my siblings actively wanted me to die.
My depression came about because I suffer from complex PTSD caused by my violent, abusive family
If someone had been able to objectively look at my life, I think they'd have wondered why I didn't do away with myself. I didn't have real friends. My family were abusive. I was terrified. I was alone.
Since I escaped from my family and got real friends I've been much better
Love to you, I’m so sorry for this
Wow! You hit the nail on the head for me!!! I'm just coming out of about 4 years of passive suicidal thoughts. I was involved in something that left me with a damaged conscience. I truly believed that I was a bad person and God did not love me. I wanted to die!!!! All the time. I wanted to get covid, get hit by a bus, get cancer etc...I saw a therapist on a regular basis, started an anti depressants. Slowly I began to heal. I needed to feel worthy of God's love. I prayed fervently, and started living a life that was in agreement with my values. Today i actually feel joy, I don't want to die anymore. It was a brutal experience!!!!! As you said, feelings do change. Be patient and compassionate with yourself.
Best to you. Glad you got out. I'm making plans now for running away from my abusive home situation with my disabled child. Anything is pretty much better than this. We can make it work.
@@Melissa-818 you are everywhere🤢🤮
I went through the same. 🫂
I've had these thoughts for four decades, nearly every day, since I was a teen. Through the years, I've discovered that suicidal fantasies relax me; they give me reassurance that I am in control -- that if I chose, I could make this all stop.
Agree…carry on.I’m 69 and feel the same way but there are good things that I have to take care of. Husband, dogs etc.
i want to go to sleep and wake up in 3 years
Yes, but the paradox is that we cannot know if 'this' stops if we kill the body, consciousness may go on in a pit.
Hope everyone doing good and staying safe. If you need to talk to someone or need help, there are people who care. Sending support and hearts. ❤️❤️❤️❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
My father committed suicide the last day of my junior year in high school. He shot himself on our front porch. I was 16. So I've had to deal with it ever since then and I am now 77.Sure, I've had suicidal thoughts and passive suicidal tendencies at times, living dangerously. But I always stopped for the reason I outline in my comment below...
People must think I'm selfish for wanting to end things but I kinda think everyone else is selfish for expecting me to continue living like this for another 30-40 years
part of what I hate about the world is that it's built on morals and meaning where there is none, we find meaning when the world never had to have any meaning at all. All "right" and "wrong" is, is what we were told by our predecessors, the same way we think certain people are despicable that's because we were told that. Even though everyone has an idea of the right thing, our idea of the right thing could make us a monster in someone else's eyes. In the end morals are just whoever lasts longer gets to tell all the stories. And we know for a fact that the suicidal folk aren't the ones lasting longer. I can understand why it would be called selfish since I wouldn't want my loved ones to hurt themselves, but at the same time I understand why people decide to throw it all away in hopes that this emptiness will fade. I like to tell myself I would never do anything to myself because I wouldn't want to hurt my family like that. I understand these are implanted morals too, there's no meaning in what happens either way, but these morals are strong enough that I stick with them even when it's tough. For them I would be willing to continue living like this for those 30-40 years.
I know literally no one cares but I just wanted to rant I guess about my take on something for once
You have absolute agency over your life and no one has the right to tell you what to do.
I wish you the best life whether it's here or hereafter.
Imagine being so emotionally lost that you can't even cry, even if you wanted to? To even lose the ability to cry, is true despair..
That's me since the age of 6
Just feeling it hurt in your soul and being almost numb to it while feeling the pain but not having the mental energy or emotional capacity to actually cry. Just lost and hurt.
Or crying all the time for no reason
Yeah, what's up with that really? The other day I tried, and couldn't get the tears out.
Kind of needed that release.
I hurt my self today to see if I still feel... Man I love Johnny Cash. Sorry that you're experiencing a lack of ability to cry. I am having the opposite experience. 😢 I cry Way to damn much
I've dealt with this for four decades, without therapy, or "legal" medication. You are right, it is a miserable way to live. I just exist, I am not "living". And here I thought I was mostly alone, how wrong I was.
I'm with you
yeh
a person should have the right to end this life when it isnt a life. it is your life and no one who hasnt cared to help you not feel like that should have any say in the matter. this world is so full of cruel humans. they are so quick to judge you and say insensitive things but no one steps up. who tf are they to pass judgement instead of helping?
youre so absolutely right, that is not living. i am so sorry youve been holding on for so long like that. i can totally relate. it is awful to say the least. so sad and horrible. i want it to end. i just havent had the courage and strength it takes to end it myself which is why i wish every night to die in my sleep just so it ends already
Now I'm crying.
I hope you get the help you need friend, you are so strong for pushing on all by yourself without professional assistance...
You are stronger than you think... you made it this far, and i believe you shall find a way to feel alive again
Don't give up
My girlfriend had these "passive" thoughts for years, mostly because of her disability. She never wore her seat belt and was very reckless near danger (like the edge of a cliff). She was always "pushing the limit".
She took her own life last year. Her mental health was drastically declining near the end (I mean to the point of psychosis), and those thoughts finally caught up to her.
Although a lot of people have these passive ideations, but you definitely want to watch yourself or your loved ones closely when you start to see a change in personality. It could be a lot more than a depressive episode
Honey, I’m so sorry. It’s hard when loved ones are suffering, and, try as you might, they can’t or won’t accept your help.
😢 so sad
I guess it is not changing anything though I, having this exact problem you described, being like your girlfriend, your comment, your story gives me another reason to actually seek more help. Sending you love and hugs from myself and my SO.
❤
I’m so sorry ❤
So sorry to hear about your loss my friend, may your girlfriend rest in eternal paradise! ❤️
My SI is only passive right now and not active for 2 reasons:
1. My dog
2. I’m a perfectionist that feels like I’m an F up, so I’m scared of making an attempt and not being “successful “ and just end up sick, permanently messed up, or humiliated when found and it didn’t work.
I pray every night to not wake up the never morning.
Nice fake story. "My SI[...] I pray". Suicide is against your religion. You pretend to be afflicted by something real in other people. And for 5 whole Likes?? How sad. Thankfully many others seen right through your infantile bs, but I won't stand by and not have it called out
I've got mine figured out, it's just about better planning.
Don't think i can leave my dog yet, even though she doesn't love me.
@hkl6977 What is your dog's name? Therapy usually helps when you feel internally misguided. I hope you feel better soon. Fortunately, people who care about people receiving proper healthcare actually exist. @RepDanCrenshaw @unitednations
@TheR00K
It’s impossible for a dog 🐕 to not love its owner. Even when owners abuse them, the dog (or cat) perpetually craves the attention and love of the owner.
Maybe your dog is trying to get your attention and you are missing it. Take him for a walk and spend some time with your dog. You’ll see her love for you.
I’m sorry. Hi
I think this is a wide spread feeling. The modern world has become far too complicated, information overload , political overload , the never ending more and more .. and more.
Now age 62 I can say without any guilt that for at least 20 years I have imagined myself on the bed breathing my last gasps ..
Saying to myself and to anyone else present ...
" what a relief it is finally over " .
Life is not what I was brought up to believe it is or would be. It is not really much fun , but we do at times have nice bits here and there.
Given how many more views this video has than my typical content I would say you are absolutely correct
Deeply feeling this. I wish I could trade places with my elderly dad, who has many more years behind him than before him. His journey will be over soon, and I am utterly jealous.
@@kmech3rd I have thought this as well. This, in particular, because I have a very small family, and he is one of the closer ones to me. This, I feel, is largely situational depression. Just one example. I had stage 4 cancer with a 35% of survival. I was 51 and my daughter 30. She wrote me a nice note, but did not visit or help in any way. She lives in LA, and I in San Diego California. Our relationship had been strained yes, but not to the point of any sort of heinous crime in either direction. For me, that is a line in the sand that feels more permanent. It is naturally depressing.
Sorry for typos- having tech. probs.
LIFE ITSELF: Consider the following:
WARNING: (CONTAINS EXISTENTIAL MATTERS):
* There are 3 basic options for life itself, which reduce down to 2, which reduce down to only 1:
a. We truly have some sort of actual conscious existence throughout all of future eternity.
b. We die trying to truly have some sort of actual conscious existence throughout all of future eternity.
c. We die not trying to truly have some sort of actual conscious existence throughout all of future eternity.
* 3 reduced down to 2:
a. We truly have some sort of actual conscious existence throughout all of future eternity.
b. We don't. And note, two out of the three options above, we die.
* 2 reduced down to 1:
a. We truly have some sort of actual conscious existence throughout all of future eternity.
b. We truly don't have any conscious existence throughout all of future eternity.
(And note, these two appear to be mutually exclusive. Only one way would be really true.)
And then ask yourself the following questions:
1. Ask yourself: How exactly do galaxies form? The current narrative is that matter, via gravity, attracts other matter. The electric universe model also includes universal plasma currents.
Basically, matter clumps together by some means. Modern science claims that all matter is made up of quarks, electrons and interacting energy. Quarks and electrons being considered charged particles, each with their respective magnetic field with them.
Galaxies are made up of matter and interacting energy and at least some galaxies flatten out and become disc shaped. How could that occur with gravity alone? Surely probably electrical and magnetic forces are at work as well.
2. Ask yourself: How exactly do galaxies become spiral shaped in a cause and effect state of existence? At least one way would be orbital velocity of matter with at least gravity acting upon that matter, would cause a spiral shaped effect. The electric universe model also includes energy input into the galaxy, which spiral towards the galactic center, which then gets thrust out from the center, at about 90 degrees from the input. Additionally, with the conservation of energy, as energy moves into the vertical plane from the center of the horizontal plane, energy from the horisontal plane moves to the center of the horizontal plane to replace the energy that moved into the vertical plane. There is also the conservation of angular momentum. As more matter moves towards the center of the galaxy, that portion of the galaxy would speed up relative to the matter towards the outer portions of the galaxy.
The inner and outer areas of the galaxy are connected via gravitational, electrical, and magnetic energy fields. While moving at the same speed, the inner area has less space to travel whereas the outer area has more space to travel. Hence a spiral shape forms.
3. Ask yourself: What does that mean for a solar system that exists in a spiral shaped galaxy? Most probably that solar system would be getting pulled toward the galactic gravitational center.
4. Ask yourself: What does that mean for species that exist on a planet, that exists in a solar system, that exists in a spiral shaped galaxy, in an apparent cause and effect state of existence? Most probably that if those species don't get off of that planet, and out of that solar system, and probably out of that galaxy too, (if it's even actually possible to do for various reasons), then they are all going to die one day from something and go extinct with probably no conscious entities left from that planet to care that they even ever existed at all in the first place, much less whatever they did and or didn't do with their time of existence.
5. Ask yourself: For those who might make it out of this galaxy, (here again, assuming it could actually be done for various reasons), where to go to next, how long to get there, how to safely land, and then, what's next? Hopefully they didn't land in another spiral shaped galaxy or a galaxy that would become spiral shaped one day, otherwise, they would have to galaxy hop through the universe to stay alive, otherwise, they still die one day from something with no conscious entities being left from the original planet to care they even ever existed at all in the first place, much less that they made it out of their own galaxy. They failed to consciously survive throughout all of future eternity.
6. Ask yourself: What exactly matters throughout all of future eternity and to whom does it exactly and eternally matter to?
Either at least one species truly consciously survives throughout all of future eternity somehow, someway, somewhere, in some state of existence, even if only by a continuous succession of ever evolving species, for life itself to have continued meaning and purpose to, OR none do and life itself is all ultimately meaningless in the grandest scheme of things.
Our true destiny currently appears to be:
1. We are ALL going to die one day from something.
2. We are ALL going to forget everything we ever knew and experienced.
3. We are ALL going to be forgotten one day in future eternity as if we never ever existed at all in the first place.
Eternal Death 'IS' Eternal Peace. Eternal Peace awaits us all.
Currently:
Nature is our greatest ally in so far as Nature gives us life and a place to live it, AND Nature is also our greatest enemy that is going to take it all away. Nature does not care about us or our agendas, any of us or any of our agendas. (OSICA)
* (Note: This includes the rich, powerful, and those who believe in the right to life and the sanctity of human life. God does not actually exist and Nature is not biased other than as Nature. Nature does what Nature does in a cause and effect kind of way. Truth is still truth and reality is still reality, regardless of whatever we believe that reality to be. And denying future reality will not make future reality any less real in a cause and effect state of existence. People just won't be prepared for it is all.)
💯
What is "excited about life"? The series of hardships, dangers and ongoing pain that is life is somehow exciting? Just scraping by gets harder and harder as society and the economy become ever more corrupt. The struggle is exhausting.
90% of the reason for SI is because living on this planet costs money. There is just no respite as everything is monetized- shelter, food, activities, family, social connections. All require you to make a payment. You simply can’t just “exist.” You have to be constantly productive, paying bills. It is a exhausting. The underlying reason for depression and SI for a lot of people is the structure of this world.
@@igotcha2198well, you Cannnn.... But it may not be "easier" in some sense. Living purely off grid you may not be responsible for bills but you will be responsible for feeding yourself every day which is also challenging when you're sick/disabled
These videos seem condescending in an economic depression. Why is he acting like it's 1998?
This is exactly it. It gets tiring and miserable to work all day for a crap wage that you can barely live on. Enough money simply to stay alive and exist. It's a never ending hamster wheel that just gets tiring
@@joeygreathouse3029for monetization because he doesn’t want be broke and SI
I just wish I could start again. This wasn't supposed to be my life but I've left it far too late to change my life in the way that I need. I have vivid dreams most nights that start off really good but even though the dreams are all different - they all end in the same way - I get lost in the dream as in - I miss a train, plane etc etc - I can't get home. It doesn't take a physc to work out what they mean, I want to go home but home doesn't exist for me anymore.
There's a lot of sad people in this comment section, I wish I could wave a magic wand and heal you all. I hope your life's get better.
I’m 36 years old now I’m still doing the same thing o did in high school….. I deal with tons of depression now I’m diagnosed bipolar manic depression so lately I have been having tons of thoughts about death and dying not so suicidal but just death in general .. to the point where I’m watching videos of people dying and after death phenomenon what people see…. I know there is nothing after u die …. But turns out that now I’m addicted to stimulants I have been on adderall since I was as a kid been on it my whole life I take very high doses some day almost 200 mg … my insurance just changed so I needed a pre authorization for the insurance to pay for my meds I went 4 days with nothing…. I got incredibly sick I vomit diarrhea I actually went to the er they told me nothing was wrong with me…. I ended up buying some blow to ease the pain a little not my best moment…. So it is what it is I won’t tell my doctor she will take my meds away for sure… idk what to do anymore …. Idk I’m just venting to a total stranger …u probably won’t even read this ….. but writing all this to u makes me feel a little better …. So thank u 😊
@@erickotapish7842oh please do your best to stay away from blow, such nasty stuff. Good luck with meds. Maybe it is time to see a new Dr. and try different doses. I know it will take forever to see Dr. these days but please try. I am twice your age. I really believe when meds are balanced there is hope. Please don’t give up. Remember, the smell of rain, a full moon, the love of a pet..these are worth living for. My heart broke to read your story. Yes it is crazy, all of us on utube comments, but heck we are only human after all.
I have recurrent black and white dreams in which I try to find my house, but can’t.
By the way, the “this wasn’t supposed to be my life” probably goes for most of us. So many talented, intelligent, sensitive people fall by the wayside through mental health struggles.
Why can we not be sober
Just want to start this over
Why can't we drink forever
Just want to start this over
Everyone should have the right to leave when they please. I’m not crazy or depressed just not wanting to continue here and it’s ok. I’m gathering the courage to depart and there’s no one that can convince me otherwise.
Agree!!
I suspect thtt if we don't push through to the end, we reincarnate and have to "re-do" this shit
I do understand you my friend. I feel exactly the same. I want to sleep for ever. But I am not looking for the courage to do it. I have it. I am afraid only if i will fail.
Right there with ya. I'm staring down the barrel of homelessness by the end of the month and im hoping that will be the nudge i need to finally get relief.
@@exposing_massive_banking_crimesounds like a fantasy
I’m praying hard for everyone who has ever felt this way. I’m so sorry y’all experienced these things. Sending love and hugs
Aww, thank you for caring.
Thank you
Thank you.
"sending love and hugs"
that does literally nothing to help
@@lucky9293 I know it doesn’t and I’m sorry
I truly don’t think my passing would impact anyone that harshly, including my husband and grown son who I am basically invisible to. I’m not depressed any more than the next person, I just think life and people in general suck. The only thing I looked forward to daily for the past 14 years was spending time with my little white dog and Jesus took her away from me 2 years ago. I know she is waiting for me and I can’t wait until I can be with her again. I’m not afraid of death; I’m more afraid of continuing to live in hell here on earth. 🥺
I read this as I have my two dogs on the bed with me. They really are my only joy. I’m sure people would miss you more than you know but I know exactly how you feel. I know my nieces would be devastated if I were gone but I generally feel no one else would really miss me. I really miss feeling connected to others and wish I felt connected to someone who understood how challenging and empty life feels most of the time. Time just drags on.
I think this is why I actually enjoy surgery. I’ve had about 10 surgeries over the last ten years and I’ve said that the most amazing feeling in the world is the few seconds preceding the anesthesia putting me to sleep. I imagine being on my favorite beach with the people I love, and I just drift off into oblivion with a smile on my face. I swear, those seconds feel like hours and it’s the happiest and most content I’ve ever felt. I’m definitely a passive SI person. My thing is that I don’t want my family to find me gone by my own hand. I don’t want that guilt and trauma placed on them. They don’t deserve to suffer for my sins, for lack of a better term (I’m not religious, just being metaphorical). But when I wake up in the morning and open my eyes, 9 times out of 10, my first thought is “F*ck.” Then, it’s time to mask up for the day so that no one knows just how badly I’m BEGGING the universe to just take me out. Accidents happen every day, I just need one good one to take this all away.
I’m in therapy, I take the meds and do the work… I’ve just made peace with the fact that no one lives forever, so my time will come. I just hope it’s not in 20 or 30 years.
❤
@TheDutchessofCornville "BEGGING" the universe to take you out? I'm so sorry you feel this way. Have you reached out to anyone for help? @RepDanCrenshaw @unitednations
Yes, I know how you feel
Let me guess, your kid (or kids) are grown, might not lve nerby or are just jerks now & your spouse is gone....you are probably feeling your age & boy don't I know that it sucks & you've gotten stuck. Drs kept loading you up wth pharmaceutical drugs untilthey've got you so numb you ccan't even feel happy anymore...you slowly gave up. I can identify with tat stuff and found out that sarcopenia & muscle wasting away are real things that drag usdown and for far too long it will while ?NO doctor ever mentions the fact that you don't eat right anymore at all. It's very likely you need Omega 3 and a D3 (gel cap or gummie) every day, because we don't get in the sun 2 or 3 hours a day so w don't make enough D3 from the sun. Americans are very deficient in d3 now, at epidemic levels, it makes bones & muscles ache, causes debilitating fatigue and more. The omega 3 is necessary unless you eat quality salmon /seafood 2 or 3 meals a week. Studies proved omega 3 helped more people with depression & it's symptoms than antidepressants they were on.
If you're over 45 or 50 you also need magnesium glycinate,, vitamin B6 and B12. TIf you add those things and rake them 1 a day for 1 week or 2, you may find your lif coming back to you, seriously. Too many people, especially older ones, do not eat right or enough veggies, fruits, lean protein & salmon once they're not cooking for a family anymore.It slowly takes a big toll, til your body is eating up muscles for protein & your skin is hanging, even if you're not looking skinny. We can be nutritionally deprived, yet eating alot of sugar filled crap and not feeling hungry., but our body tells te story. Drink 2 bottles ofwater every day too, you'd be surprised how bad dehydration makes a person feel, you can be drinking cokes and coffee all day but be dehydrated because the caffiene's effects negate the value of the water in those drinks, basically.. So we need to ADD clean water into our liuves cause the body is about 85% made of WATER. Good luck hon, you can feel better.
Also, dear, take up meditation. You can put yourself into that unworried, peaceful, wasted , ahhhhh state of mind by just closing your eyes and saying a mantra or listening to genntle music for 10 minutes a day. You don't need to resort to surgeries, mostly because the very reason you are probably feeling as bad as you are is because being knocked unncnscious has BAD effects on a person, memory loss, fatigue, confusion all kinds of effects they don't tell you to worry about........so unnecessart surgery has only made you worse, actually you pprobably started to feel this way after 1 or 2 surgeries....now you feel it is a few minute's escape from life. There's so much you could do with the money spent on those surgeries and get lot more peace from them and maybe some joy even.
My wife passed away two and a half years ago. I admit to just waiting to die. They gave me medication for depression. It didn't work. Sometimes depression from mourning can't be treated with the normal medications you just go numb with it and not properly process it confront the feelings. A broken heart should actually be a diagnosis.
😢🙏🏼 I'm so sorry for your loss
I'm sorry for your loss. I lost my husband and many other friends/family in the last 5 years. My husband was my greatest loss, the pain gets more bearable as time goes on. Hang in there.❤
@@nancycianchetta4831 Thanks. I didn't expect to get replies on this.
@@angel5423 Thanks
There actually has been studies that prove a broken heart can make drastic changes to the body. A broken heart can't be fixed with a pill & it happens to almost everyone, therefore it doesn't align with capitalism & won't become a diagnosis. It would also force companies to acknowledge they have to be respectful of people's loss & possibly give them more than 3 days of bereavement (everyone handles things differently). It'll stay thrown under the umbrella of depression. Many prefer to encourage people to experiment with things that can be sold in order to find what "works" or "fixes" the feelings.
I'm sorry for your loss & the pain you feel from it. Saying I wish you healing seems rude since when most say it, it usually implies they hope you stop feeling what you're feeling. I personally believe it makes it seem as if it's a problem that you grieve. I don't think it is. People don't stop acknowledging their loss but maybe just stop doing it as often (no telling exactly what goes on in people's minds), or talking about it bc they don't want people to worry. This isn't how it should be. There should be support & understanding.
I do wish you the best in living a fulfilled life & hope your best moments with her can provide you joy in your lifetime.
I just dont want to exist. No major trauma in my past and i'm overall well off financially. I just have no interest in going anywhere, doing anything or meeting anyone. I cant connect with people nor do i want to. I simply exist and lack the courage to see myself out. Im only still walking this earth because of fear.
Me too! I'm sorry for the hate that landed on you and everyone else. I threw some ugly stuff at the world at everyone and I'm truly sorry!
Do you like animals or the environment? If you have some money but no real passion, and you dont really like people, maybe do a bit of work for a non-people charity. It helps to find something, anything, to make life worth living.
I dunno if i should say it..bt the fact that u said there wasn't any major trauma in ur past , and yet u feel this way..kinda made me feel relieved..like everything's pretty well off with me as well..bt still i wish i could disappear into thin air..
Me 2
@@arminislam6805of course you dont have to answer this publicly but could you be minimizing your own trauma do you think? If im not misunderstanding your comment, it sounds like you say yep there was some "minor" or not very serious traumatic things yet you have worse symptoms than what youd expect from such "barely significant" trauma. To use domestic violence in sexual relationships as an example since i have experience with that, your comments remind me of the years i spent swearing "its not that bad i mean he only hit me with a metal object once" so i dont feel justified seeking help. Must be defective myself to be so shaken by one incident, if i hadnt pissed him off it would not have happened, other men and women are literally getting daily beatings so this isnt "that bad" by comparison. Let me tell you hon its been a decade since he hit me in my sleep but i promise if you threw a damn kleenex or something at me as im laying in bed i will often still freak out. 🫂
The only reason I’m still here is because I’m scared to go to hell
That makes me so angry... Not at you but the thought of having to be punished for not wanting to suffer anymore. I hope you find some peace.
Yeah, but life here can be hell. But it's a hell we "know."
Hell is life itself when you realize that you reach enlightenment the whole point is when we die our soul is eternal we are basically trapped here until God decides it is time for us to come back to heaven
I feel you sister. So hopeless.
I used to have the death ideation. Then my roommate/best friend killed himself & that kinda 'cured' me of the ideation. Now I have to take care of the cats! Besides, I couldn't kill myself out of fear of possible hell.
I often say to my work friends " life is like 99% doing stuff you don't want to do". Work is massively disproportionate to leisure time, and unless you're lucky enough to enjoy your work. It totally makes you want to "unsubscribe", their response is "that's life, you just have to get on with it" but the way I look at it if it's just perpetual travel, work, travel, wash eat sleep repeat, what's the point
Agree! Repeating a cycle over and over again with suffering. Each days worst because aging will make it harder
I was 13 years old when I first began thinking about passive SI. I'm 75 now and still have those feelings. I'm not afraid of death, but I won't consider becoming active about it. I just plod along day after day waiting for something to happen.
Thank you for this video. I never knew that it had a name.
Exactly. I just plod along, day after day. I'm not particularly unhappy all the time, but I'm also certainly not happy any of the time.
Having the thought I came out from sex just makes me think y’all just disgusting beings
What made you watch this specific video?
@eveie22 It was my mother "getting saaaved" that started me on the road to constant low level depression and two anxiety disorders. Keep your religious beliefs to yourself.
@@eveie22 AMEN 💖
I was led to study Elijah in 1 kings 19. He asked God to take his life but he wouldn't actively do it himself. . Then I'm led to this video. Life isn't easy for anyone (even as a Christian) but there is an answer ☝️🙇🏻♀️👐
I have never heard this term before but this is exactly it. I am in tears and haven't even gotten fully through his question 2. I will never be active, only passive for all of the reasons listed. It's so reassuring to know that I'm not alone. That when my therapists and other mental health specialists ask me if I'm suicidal, answering "Yes, but I would never do anything about it" is 100% accurate and I can now give a largely accepted term for it.
I am the same too. Now I have a term, but is hard to talk to people of it.
Just wanted to add that you have to be very careful saying something like that to a therapist or psych doctor. Because you said you were suicidal - the other part doesn't matter by their protocol - they could restrict your medications (such as only allowing you to pick up 1 week's work of medications at a time - which is maddeningly tedious and inconvenient), they could change your medications or enforce you take them, they could have you committed to a psychiatric hospital, or demand other changes to your behavior or surveillance of it. A lot of places are mandatory reporters. That means they have to both report and take action if they think you are a danger to yourself. So you have to really, really, really know and trust your therapist/psych doc before you answer that way or you could find yourself in a bad situation that doesn't match your actual symptoms.
For example, I just started seeing a new therapist (3 weeks). There's no way in hell I am telling her I'm having passive SI this early in the relationship. I don't want to find myself suddenly trapped in a psych ward because I brought it up. I monitor my symptoms and if I feel like I'm moving toward the active side and need help, I'll tell someone. But meanwhile, every general and specialist doctor that asks "are you depressed?" gets the same answer: "yes, we all are: the world is on fire." And any psychiatric doctor or therapist who asks "do you have thoughts of harming yourself/are you suicidal?"gets the simple answer "No."
Not to scare you. Just to warn people from experience. Sometimes being naively open with a statement like that can have very negative consequences. You never know how "trigger happy" some physicians will be with committing someone.
@@bctesla imagine not even taking the time to watch the video but feeling you can make authoritative statements anyway
@@bossyboots5000 well this is some messed up shit.
Not being able to tell your doctor about real medical symptoms is fucked up.
I'm not saying you're wrong for not doing it, I'm saying the system is broken.
@@Nerobyrne it took me almost a year to finally explain this to my current therapist. Even then, it was a long and awkward conversation
Discovered this video,tonight . Thanks for the info. I have been struggling with severe depression for a looong time . I truly believe that people who commit suicide don’t necessarily want to die. They just want to have joy again and do more than exist . They want out of their pain 😢😢
"They found a way out". That's been my reaction to learning of friends who have committed suicide. I know many times I would just rather not feel anything than what I'm feeling now.
I never had this until my only child passed away 2 years ago.I just cant wait to be with him again.
In the sage words of John Mellencamp "Life goes on long after the thrill of living is gone"
That's very profound
That’s been my life for the past 7 years or so.
I’ve had this in my mind for so long. So much so That’s my ringtone
Exactly! At age 76, 7 years post retirement, my days are spent sitting in my chair, looking at my iPad, getting progressively physically weaker. Without my career there is nothing to live for. My children are in their 50’s, my 2 grandchildren are getting ready to go off to university. They are all busy with their lives and don’t need me. But my husband needs me as a domestic support so I carry on for his sake. But personally I feel like I’m in God’s waiting room, and I’m ready to go.😊
Lol
"Imagine a society that subjects people to conditions that make them terribly unhappy, then gives them the drugs to take away their unhappiness. Science fiction? It is already happening to some extent in our own society... Instead of removing the conditions that make people depressed, modern society gives them antidepressant drugs. In effect, antidepressants are a means of modifying an individual's internal state in such a way as to enable him to tolerate social conditions that he would otherwise find intolerable." -Ted Kaczynski
Yes, what is that saying.. It is no means of success to be well adjusted to a sick society...or something like that.
Though the measures taken were wrong, he was right on many things, that is one of them.😢
You could have quoted dr mlk jr or the poor ppls campaign but instead youre romanticizing a selfish idiot who ended folks lives
Antidepressants don’t work because they treat symptoms, not the cause. I’ve taken them and they made me feel like a zombie or more suicidal. No thanks.
I think increasing stress, anxiety, and depression’s been planned to reduce the population and that’s why many people lose motivation to live. They figured they’d kill off the weak by driving people to suicide over time-there’s not going to be enough room for everyone so something has to be done.
I don't think the Unabomber is a great, reliable source for mental health advice. I'm sure there are a million other resources out there. I mean, the man killed people. How is that someone to turn to for advice?
It did touch a nerve. A nerve that REALLY needed an understanding massage.
I will openly admit. I have Passive Suicidal Ideation.
I've had depression since I was around 10 (I feel) and it has come to a point where I feel as though the reason Depression and this PSI is so prevalent, is because Depression is "Proof of Realization".
You've become so aware, that you've caught on to the mundanity and farm animal like living. You've noticed that Bad News is more prolific than Good News (people even get urked by good things). Bad people are rewarded with Good things but not the other way round.
That's one small flicker of something nice in Depression. It's proof you're more aware and smart than the happily ignorant. You understand and you DO care (somewhere), but care involves empathy and empathy hurts.
I now consider my depression "severe" when I thought it was "moderate" I'm so lost after death of 3 family members, job loss and forced medical leave. This advice has been extremely educational and helpful ❤ Thank you
Sending hugs to you ❤
I've been through the wringer too, I'm so sorry you're struggling, but you can come out of it, you can feel a smile again, this is not a permanent condition, you're going through a dark night of the soul.Love yourself, let go of any regret, and please take an Omega 3,(1,000 mg) D3 (500 to 1000 mg), B12 and a magnesium, calcium zinc supplement each day and drink clean water (2 to 3 big glasses a day). You may turn that corner a bit faster. ♥♥♥💕💕💕
@@CatalinaFOIA thank you for caring
Sorry to hear ❤
Sending love from my side to you
@@KathyHussey063good advice ! ❤️ hope you are better than when you were!
I had no idea other people felt this way, until a couple weeks ago when I saw an interview where a woman was talking about feeling like this. I was shocked! I'm 50, and I have a pretty good life. I've never been physically abused and had ok parents. I have great kids and a good husband... But... I have felt like this everyday for the last 30 years. I've never told anyone.
I am 50. Same situation. Wonderful family. Good job. I think about it every day.
Same, I was at a wedding recently where everyone went to the top of an ancient tower for a photo shoot, all I could think about was jumping off.
@hardlines2635 that's called an intrusive thought or more specifically the call-of-the-void, I think it's a little different but what you experience could be ideation if you are depressed
Yeah, it's hard sometimes to feel like your struggles and/or depression are valid when you haven't experienced the most well-known forms of trauma. I grew up with a loving family and I was never bullied or treated outright badly by my peers in school. I've never been abused in any way and I've had a pretty good life. So I never thought I had trauma. But I found out very recently that social neglect is a form of trauma and I have ABSOLUTELY experienced that. So just because you have a good life doesn't mean that your feelings are invalid.
@@hardlines2635😱What😱
I'm in my mid 50's and the thing that comforts me is that it will end sooner rather than latter.
I feel this way every single night, think about dying or wanting not wake up in the morning has become like a dark mantra or habitual. it's strangely comforting to me.
@@mdixon4212I understand this but it brings me angst because I have so much shit that my children would have to deal with. I want to get rid of most of my possessions first - of which I have way too much.
I'm same male late 50's marriage broke down last year (after 22yr) embarrassed breaking down all the time and my dog is the only thing saving me...I'm even starting to think about just taking him with me.
That’s exactly how I feel.
Same
In my country, the poet Michael Strunge wrote `I dont want to die, I want to have not been born`.
And that makes a lot of sense to me.
I have suffered from major clinical depression since I was 13 yrs old (55 now). No amount of therapy or meds have helped for very long. I can not wait until the good Lord takes me home!!
Amen
Me too. Unfortunately.
Im sorry, me too
If you have this problem, there's a high chance you are EXAUSTED. Not just tired, but exausted. And maybe bored. If you want to die, it means your mind does not want to accept your current reality.
The solution is simple - you NEED to have a break. Some people may need a week, some - a month or more. You have to change your picture, see something completely new. When you face a new environment, your brain turns on a survival mode, while it figures out now everything works in a new place.
If you're having suicidal thoughts, please try this. It may help. Maybe a weekend trip, maybe something more. Trying new stuff. Like yoga, or dance class. Do something that you never tried before. Just remember to stay safe. You really CAN shift your brain's attention. It just needs some effort from you.
P.S. I'm a stay at home mom. And I need this so desperately. I had numerous battles with my mind about commiting a suicide, but I try to stay as strong as I can. Noone in my family understands me.
I do hope to have at lest a few days off. Working for almost 4 years without a single day off is crazy.
how's your day going and did you take a few days off?
@@leodacap4879You're a kind person for checking in on this commenter. And this commenter sounds like an insightful person with some good advice that I personally hope I can find the strength to take. Wishing you both the best.
I struggle with anxiety and depression and when I waves come I always get this passive suicidal thoughts. I have never thought of suicide because I know the pain I would leave for the people that I love. I started to go to the gym and I love it but sometimes I want to try to learn to dance bachata but because of my anxiety I struggle to start to go to a dance class.that happened when I decided to go to the gym, maybe some
Day I will get the courage to go and have fun and try something new. Thanks for your message it gives me motivation to try it ❤
That sounds great except if you are broke and can’t afford gas or food it’s impossible to take a trip
Hi :D
Lost my job 7 years into (what i thought) was a great career as a software engineer. 1 year later, after 1000+ applications, and no interviews. I'm in financial ruin, nearly homeless and completely alone.
Therapy/ Healthcare is not an option in my state with no insurance and no money. And even if it were, everything is so bad at this point, that even the thought of trying to get better and beat depression is terrifying. I'm more afraid of living for years and being miserable and shamed than i am of dying.
Keep persevering brother. Never give up.
Take a decision. Good luck whether you are here or there.
Me too.
How are things now? I pray that things are better, lots of love to ya bro.
@@osominor419 well i'm not dead yet. Nothing changed really.
I am 93 years old. I have had a very great life until 10 yearfs ago. My wife of 63 years died. I thoought I hancled the grief very well, the hole has been with me all the time, but, I have through the use of great memories lived with it. But, I now feel as though I have no raeason to continue. I too , every nght, hope I don't wake up. I am on the edge of becoming active. The only thilng stopping me is the relationship with my grand and great grand kids. I just can't bring myself to tell them I am so miserable that I can't go on. I have put up front for so long all my family thinks things are ok. I feel the poem "emptiness" best descrbes how I feel all the time.
@williammastin9241 Who wrote the poem, "emptiness." @RepDanCrenshaw @unitednations
❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤ I hope you are ok
Does your state have euthanasia laws?
The bit you said about not being in an actively suicidal mindset because of people who depend on you really hit home with me. I take care of my Mom full time and struggled with depression and suicide for several years. I knew I would never kill myself outright though because it would utterly devastate mom. Its exactly what you said; I didn't want to be the one to do it, but I genuinely wished someone else would. I've been doing better for a while now, but sometimes I'll have short relapses into that depressive state.
My Mom finally passed in April and I feel now with no purpose. It's hard.
Take care. You matter!
Your loss would bring up lots of feelings you may need quite some time to process, and may even need help with that. Talking to others if they are supportive may help. Journalling can also help to connect with feelings. Listen to music that moves you literally. Find ways to get out and move. Try new things or things you haven't done for along time, perhaps due to your recent responsibilities. Try to find some joy. Make a list of glimmers (things that bring you moments of joy) and triggers that you put up to help you when you are overwhelmed so as it uses little brain power to find tools to help shift your state. Please, above all, seek additional help if you feel you need it. You are going through alot right now. Be kind and gentle with yourself every chance you get. Take care.❤
Hurting my parents and siblings was the only thing that prevented me from ending my life in the few times I attempted to do it before. Now that my mom has dementia and my dad is the sole provider in the family because I’ve been chronically ill, I don’t see myself ever hurting them by ending my own misery so PSI is the only thing I’m going to struggle with for now. I’m thinking that all these medical conditions I’m dealing with will take care of my life’s ending sooner than later.
same here. for a long long time ---
Yeah, my thoughts are 'my parents are still alive. No patents should see their children to die'. So I know that I won't attempt in the near future. I'm not going after either, I think, but it's like some line I need to cross before thinking it for real
30+ years going strong. I must have thought about it a million times by now. I attempted suicide twice in my late teens, but learned from those super violent, super shocking experiences, that “the body is a damned hard thing to kill”
I am so happy that you are still here. You are the example of strength we all need. Please keep fighting ❤
@@teemumiettinen7250Try killing yourself WITHOUT killing someone else, egocentric clown!
Turn 44 this week and still here. God still has work for me here..Haven't found out what though...I've had so many thoughts of dying and wanting things to just end. I just can't do it...don't want to put my mother thru that amd now my son needs me cause he won't be able to live on his own even with him as an adult
@@andreshernandez1180 if you have the spine to say that, then you first.
@@andreshernandez1180 Every failure is more damage you have to live with forever
no job, no food, in debt and might be homeless, I'm tired
I like that he seemed more genuine than most of these people and wasn’t talking down or trying to offer easy solutions
I have been in the psych ward six separate times. I had continuous passive suicidal ideation for years. I am finally finding healing and it’s been two years since I have been suicidal. I have occasional intrusive suicidal thoughts, however they no longer distress me like they used to. If you’re reading this and feel like life isn’t worth living, please know you can heal too. You can find things to live for. Recovery is a long slow journey, but it’s SO worth it.
hope this isn’t an offensive question but why were you in the psych ward if it was only passive suicidal ideation? the only times i’ve been admitted were after i attempted. also glad you’re doing better now, wishing you the best in your recovery journey
@@hiimnotreal Passive SI can turn into active SI very quickly
and what if my country doesn't have any good therapists who can help? you can't answer on this question, only suffer or die
@@cjboyodo you mind sharing what changed and what helped turn your life around? Super proud and happy for you !! ❤
I don't tell anyone anymore. It's not worth the medical debt.
If you're reading this then you've beaten 100% of your worst days. Today is no different. Love and strength to you.
100 percent success rate, woo!
Tomorrow is no different either
😢 Thank you
ah-
NO WAY> BS !
i am passed broken. Numb and don't care anymore. Nothing gets better with time, nothing. Time rusts cars, breaks down the human body and mind. Every day we get closer to death and more despair. I won't sit knowing things only get worse. Getting old is the worst thing that can happen to us. I decide waiting is worse.
I won't sit like an idiot waiting to get out while everyday is an f'ing nightmare. I can't take anymore.
*
I am literally going through the worst time of my life. I arrived at this video through a rabbit hole. Thank you for this video. All the best C.
I’ve been depressed most of my life. Abused child and all that. I used to have ASI and after many years I figured I wouldn’t cross that line, all I saw was me falling at it and becoming a quad or something like that. So it became PSI and I was onboard with that. I’m 56 and disabled, bad back. 2 surgeries and no relief. Then one evening I was listening to audio books and I found short stories on RUclips SciFi HFY stories and that changed everything for me. I’m a dreamer and I wanted to see what the future would bring. I started to worry about my health and took steps. Supplements at first then research into health. Diabetic for at least 12 years and on insulin a couple times a day. I found a diet they were talking about and I thought it made sense from a diabetic perspective. I have been on the diet since January 8th 2024 and I lost almost 60 pounds since then and I no longer need insulin! I’m no longer diabetic! I feel great. Still disabled that won’t change, but I am not sick or addicted to carbs and sugar! I only eat meats eggs and butter. Got bloodwork done and it’s confirmed, I’m no longer diabetic inflammatory markers are all gone and I guess I’m going to be around to see the future! Watch me get hit by a car tomorrow!! Everything I wrote here is absolute truth. I’m not saying my life is great or even good. I have some serious psychological issues but it’s a start!
Stay safe
I started feeling like this in grade school. I found a "suicide note" I had written in 7th grade, praying not to wake up. I'm 75 years old now and still feel that way. But I survive. I've convinced myself that consciousness exists after death and that all will be made clear. I think that thought has kept me alive.
Praying your right
I'm turning 24 in December. It scares me, it feels so old and I'm still not where I want to be. If you have the time, what advice would you give to someone my age who understands these feelings?
Thank you for your time
You die, you are truly gone without consciousness, black forever but you can’t think or know how long or remember it’s just void
@@drezzydrezI don’t know if you think that’s comforting but a lot of people don’t find that comforting at all
@@drezzydrezstop pushing your beliefs on others.
I'm not suicidal, but I often get depressed. For me it's mostly about two things he mentioned. 1. Not having time to really use my gifts and talents (my passions) because I'm too busy working full time to pay the bills and taking care of daily stuff like grocery shopping and resolving small problems. 2. My wife and I don't have children 12 years into our marriage because of her health issues and I always knew I was meant to be a father. I knew marrying her meant that we likely wouldn't have children but I didn't want to let her go. She's often depressed because that's a symptom of her health issues, which also makes me depressed because I wish I could do more to help her.
Consider adopting. I will say having an autoimmune disease and kids is suffering. It’s so hard man. Weeks without sleep. Non stop chasing rabbits. Be careful what you wish for. I wish you peace.
Definitely agree with point No 1. Paying bills and doing daily life stuff takes so much time.
For No 2 I wish you the best
Maybe consider adoption?
ADOPT. So many kids already exist who Desperately need homes.
A pet is a nice companion. Of course, not the same as a child but very comforting and brings happiness.
That part about passive vs active SI being more about personality and less about severity was really really significant for me. I've never ever believed that my depression was that bad, purely because I almost never experience active SI. I thought I had it easy and I was just overreacting because other people actually engage in self harm and suicide attempts while I just think a lot about it. So thank you for saying that. It means a lot.
Active suicidal thoughts are in fact not part of the majority of heavy depressions, and statistically, suicide is more a male than a female thing. Deep depression can also mean that you just stop to function. Can't leave your bed, everyday activities like taking a shower or preparing a meal wear you out to the point that this is all you are capable of in a given day, if even that. So a good measure for how depressed you really are is how well you still manage in your life. Job, household, keeping contact with friends and family.
For me, more than 15 years ago, a warning shot was that I couldn't get myself to leave the house one day. Went to work that day, wanted to take a train to see my GF that evening. That day I even had my luggage prepared and no real time stress, everything went smooth. Couldn't get up from my chair for the life of me. After that we made some changes to our weekend relationship, and thankfully, that episode did not repeat.
U R so right❗️. I’m calling my doc tomorrow
Wow. Didn’t know I could find someone who thought very similarly to me. My main factor holding me back from active planning is because I don’t want to make people clean up the mess I leave behind. There’s no clean way to go. I want to become a psychologist to help others too. Probably not the best idea though.
@@frosticle6409
Why not? You would speak from experience and be better equipped to help!
@@carriesmotherman2273I feel I lack the empathy to be helpful.
People don't understand some people are not fans of life.
I’ve dealt with this all my life, starting when I was probably 9yrs old if not younger. Always felt out of place, like I didn’t end up where I was meant too…and no matter how ‘good’ I am, I can’t seem to get out of the clusterfuc of life’s trauma drama of BS… I go round and round feeling like I choose to stay so the grandkids don’t have to deal with knowing I couldn’t figure out my place. Life is hard…
I felt like this for a very long time until I had a blood test and it was discovered that my blood count was very low in iron, B12 & Folic Acid. I was taken in to Hospital Emergency and given 6 Units of blood and Iron infusions until my blood counts were back up into the normal ranges. This was administered over the period of 5 days. The change in my mood was almost instant. My depression & Passive suicidal thoughts disappeared! Since then I have been keeping an eye on my diet and making sure that I'm eating nutritionally dense foods & Taking supplements. My Blood counts have remained high and have actually increased a bit since leaving hospital. My outlook has completely changed. I am interested in life again, I'm making plans, I can & want to tidy my home. My Advice, If there are any people out there who are suffering with the symptoms being described in this video, in the state of misery and no longer want to live, go get your blood levels checked for Iron, B12, and Folic Acid first. If you are not suffering from low levels then at least you know your depression is not based on a vitamin or mineral deficiency.
Wow, I recently had very similar stats and anemia and never mentioned depression as a symptom. I had low energy which caught it and I avoided the hospital but now wonder if they (vitamin levels) are related to mood more so than serotonin
Wow, that's fascinating. It's not exactly surprising that general nutritional levels, and levels of health (low blood cell count is not healthy) could tie in with mental health, but tying in so strongly like the way you describe is, well, striking.
There are certainly many things you can try to get that feeling of emptiness out of your head, and fill the hole.
Oh, idk about iron and folic acid, but I'm probably again low on b12 and d3, especially that I recently have troubles eating (or getting out of bed) and the supplements are to be taken with food, not on empty stomach. No food, no supplements.
It's like I'm not existing until you look at me. When I don't need to go out, I'm... not there. In my bed, doing nothing. If I do need to get out, I'm able to force myself to wash myself, put clean clothes on, prepare anything else to go out. Most of the times, but sometimes I do miss some details.
Thank you for writing about this! Sooooo important!😊
ah, Schroedinger's @@vanillablossom [nod]
I have felt this way all my adult life and I'm 56 now, and I am still here. Something that helps me is a quote, a simple but effective quote. "it is no measure of good health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society" ~ Jiddu Krishnamurti 👍
I have had that quote on my fridge for many years..
I really like that.. I definitely agree.
Some wise fucking words old man hang in there 💪🏽
I feel this way all the time. I just hate everything about myself and everyone is saying change something about your life. I’m like only if you really knew. 5 years ago I wrote my suicide note and at the train tracks waiting for a train to show up to put my car in front of it. I just couldn’t do it. I don’t know why but I can’t do it. I still want to several years later. No one believes me when I talk about my pain.
@@SamuelGlover I believe you. The reality is, you can't think yourself out of your brain not working right. Like.. if you're drunk, you can't think yourself sober. The chemicals (neurotransmitters) are off. Behavior changes can only do so much. It's a proven fact that you need a certain baseline for therapy to work. Being suicidal like you are doesn't meet that line. Talking helps with situations, mentally monitoring how you are, and creating behavioral control "hacks". But won't actually improve the underlying depression. I will say, please don't use your car. It can derail a train. You don't want to hurt others. I also suggest trying medications. It doesn't change your personality like people think. There are new ones if you've tried before and it didn't work. The quality of the doctor matters too. Some are better than others.
Thank you very much! I have been suffering from passive SI for decades. I am 69 years old and a grandmother of 4. I am here for them. I don't have a life. I didn't have a partner or anything material. I live with my daughter and her family. I don't have privacy. I don't have... But I do experience severe depression, which is paralyzing. It is so paralyzing that it keeps me from pursuing what I don't have. 😢
Our mental health system is SO woefully inadequate when it comes to dealing with suicidal ideation, because the moment you express those kinds of thoughts and feelings, two things happen.
1. The person you've been speaking with (at least briefly) leaves the room.
2. Either they (or someone else) comes back in and starts asking you an extremely specific series of questions. Your answers to these questions will determine whether they let you leave, or call the police in an effort to have you taken into custody "for your own good."
The thing is... none of this actually *is* for your own good. Everyone you're going to interact with from here on out is in CYA mode -- their actions are geared toward protecting them (or their organization) from legal repercussions in the event you DO commit suicide, and your family decides to sue.
Your thoughts on passive SI helped me put words to something I've been struggling with for a long time. One of my biggest frustrations with "the checklist" is that they're always asking you how strong your thoughts are on a scale of one to ten, how often you have the thoughts ("one, a few, or several times a day?"), and so on. How are you supposed to quantify this stuff when it's just like a constant background noise; something that's with you, at one level or another, at nearly all hours of the day?
This tells me that the people I'm dealing with either don't really understand how it works... or aren't allowed to engage with it on a level that might actually be helpful, because, ya know, the checklist. Gotta cross those i's and dot those t's.
Was talking to a good friend about therapy and how I'm unsure about it and he said "therapy is good because maybe the therapist will see something from the outside that you can't see from the inside." And that really struck me.
I’d like to think we do that fairly often 😁
Jesus loves you and he died for you. The Love of God Love is sooo big. He can listen to your sorrow, to your doubt, to your depression, to your joy, to your anxiety... Literally everything ! He cares about you, start to care more about him. Read the Bible if you want to learn more ❤
You should give therapy a try. I've gone on and off for decades and have learned so much. It can really help to have a second set of eyes on problems. It's good to get a new perspective.
Well that's exactly the point of therapy. They see things your brain is stopping you from seeing
My therapist actually saw this passive suicidal ideation in me. In our sessions I told her that I accepted my mortality, and don't care if I die at any given moment - and when she heard everything I told her, knowing other things about me - she actually told me what it is. I never thought that some of my actions could be described as "passively suicidal". She saw it - I got treatment. This thinking still lurks around - but now I can recognise it and do something about it. So I all about trying therapy - it really helps.
We as a society need to realize that a bad life is sometimes worse than no life. People who would disagree are either religious or have never truly been in such a bad place; that's not to say they haven't experienced tragedy or loss. They just haven't experienced it on the level of those that legitimately have a good reason to die. People also feel better about themselves when they tell people positive sayings like "It'll get better!" or "Just keep trying!" To someone who's been trying as hard as they can for the entirety of their life, these statements feel like a punch in the face. Sometimes life gets worse and worse- more painful by the day, and there is nothing tat person can do to change that. The only hope for these people does not come from within them but from the outside. Society is responsible for these people and is also to blame for their situation. Unfortunately, society helps them not; maybe even pushes them further down into the abyss of pain and suffering. So to all those positive people out there- think of this the next time you give some helpful platitude to someone in need and maybe you might actually do something to help them instead of making yourself feel better
I am surprised there are no comments here, i totally agree with you! The thing is it's extremely painful to live everyday with the same situation repeating over and over again. I feel its not about the gravity of ones situation Sometimes it's the 'small' things going wrong every single day. one has to realise our brain is powerful, it has strong analytical skill measuring yesterday to today. Some people are always at zero, nothing changes for them not because they are negative its just randomness. Truth is people who go through this are alive only because of their survival instinct brought down by evolution. Other than that their logical brains know very well its better to call it off
This is why I loathe motivational quotes that people have the nerve to tell me or 'share' at work. None of my friends are stupid enough to do that.
Passive SI were the alarm bells I needed to seek help for having significant burnout
I FOOLISHLY retired, it was so stupid to do,.. I really loved my job!! I listened to coworkers, who wanted me to join the club.
I now suffer. Lost all interest in life! hobbies, activities, friends, etc. Dr. Says my stress is very bad, I have severe depression, anxiety, and insomnia. Suffering 24/7.! .... i was so happy and healthy before! I used to really love life.!
I had no idea that passive suicidal ideation was even a thing. I've been in this state of mind for years now. Some days, I intentionally sleep as much as possible just to make time pass more quickly. Two years ago, I was diagnosed with cancer, and there were moments when I secretly wished it was terminal so I wouldn't have to continue dealing with it. Although it was a treatable form of cancer, I found myself dragging myself to the hospital for treatment, all the while harboring this hidden desire for an end. I never shared these thoughts with my family, but it seemed like they cared more about my survival than I did.
I hoe things have cganged for you. I 've been there too...
You are still here for a reason, 🙏 God bless
Same. I am diagnosed with aggravated diabetes and I do nothing to combat it, diet, medicines, exercise, whatever. I just hope it'll be quick.
Sorry you have to go through this. I understand somewhat. I have schizoaffective disorder and severe anxiety along with chronic pain and social isolation and I used to perform solo music/singing shows and played in a band. I don`t even know who I am anymore. My parents died of cancer and my sister almost did. I worry endlessly.
i can kind of relate to this, since there was a chance i would've probably experience the same thing you did.
I have an iron deficiency and i can't really explain it well, but i think there was a chance the iron deficiency was caused by leukemia or something like that, when my mother told me about this around a month ago the doctor had already said it was not leukemia, but after being told that, i kinda wished it was. The only reason i didn't truly wish it was cancer was because my mom also told me that my grandma had been crying a lot and not sleeping at night.
I hope that you feel glad to be alive, and enjoy that feeling.
Finally some resource about suicidal ideation that isn’t just a generic suicide prevention link.
I have been experiencing passive suicidal ideation for a long time and feel like it has progressed into a more adamant form of suicidal intention.
I feel like I’ve made up my mind to end my life once my parents pass so as to not hurt them in such a way.
The thought of my death brings an immense feeling of relief and peace rather than despair or terror.
This is me, exactly. Only it isn’t passive anymore. I threw my visiting nurse out today, firing him. I now have all these glorious ways out. I just have to find a home for my daughter's cat that she left behind without a word. I certainly have not had a good 65 years and I am done. I haven’t watched all of this video because the woman who has slept on my couch for 10 months called the police on me because I told her I am tired of her sleeping there (she has a room but has her stuff strewn everywhere, and the police wonʼt back me up because sheʼs lived here). I don't want anyone here when I have a bottle of wine - I stopped drinking 17 years ago when I became disabled and read the warnings on some of the 21 medications I take each day. Not that I was a heavy drinker, I had maybe a beer a week.
I am truly looking forward to oblivion. You said you have been “there” but somehow got over it. You are way younger than 65 and have a lot ahead of you. I don't.
That said, GO NOLES! At least FSU has a good team again. (When I bled, it was Garnet and Gold.)
The value of COMPASSION can not be overestimated--for self, and for others). When I experience another's compassion, it helps me feel worthy enough to treat myself kindly.
Just think, if compassion was elevated exponentially, life on this planet would be transformed! Nothing short of revolutionary.
I know the only person who would be hurt by my death is my mother. That's why I'm still here.
But the second I know she's gone, I'm out.
Gosh I so needed to hear your calm, rational perspective on this! I tried to reach out to a mental health centre but I always feel like they treat me like a misbehaving child and find it feels safer to just hang up and forget it. All previous attempts at seeking compassion or caring have failed... nobody wants to deal with me feeling crappy. Everyone always says "It's so great to see you smiling" , so the mask remains and the tears are saved for the quiet times alone in my caravan with the curtains drawn. My "hole" is probably both reasons. I've been in therapy on and off all my adult life. I used to have optimism, dreams, hopes for my future. Recently I've become painfully aware that the dreaming has ended. Waking up is another chore like eating, laundry, getting dressed, or shopping for groceries... 50+ years on this earth and I still feel like nobody truly knows me or has considered me worthy enough to stick around for. I may look like my life is all bright and shiny, but I'm literally treading water in basic survival mode. 😥
I really hope this helped. I share your frustration with how many in my field seem oddly unable to handle a person in emotional distress 🤷♂️ It’s not like it’s our entire job or anything
@dr.scotteilerspsydlp529 thanks for your kind response...it means a lot! I'm struggling today.
Mine is both.
I’m 💯the same Lisa. I hope you’re well this evening 🙏🏻❤
@nolamar1 thank you. Neighbors are a challenge sometimes! I hope you find comfort in your solitude despite her! Sending hugs! 🤗
You, as a doctor of mental health, should know that having real depression doesn't mean there has to be a reason to feel depressed. Chronic depression is having everything to live for, but you just want to end it all. It's a feeling that starts in your head and takes over your whole body. People who don't know anything about chronic depression will say suicide is a selfish act? Unless you know what it feels like to live with depression every day of feeling miserable, that is what you'll think. I know better bcuz I lived in both worlds. It's not a selfish act but rather a way to finally end the mental & physical constant pain.
OMG. A NAME TO WHAT IVE BEEN EXPERIENCING
I was in therapy in my 30's and 40's. After being hospitalized for a good old fashioned nervous breakdown. They called it major depressive disorder. I'm 65 and I'm just not into the therapy thing again even though I know I need it. I just feel like I don't have that much life left and don't want to rehash 65 years of childhood and adult trauma. And who can afford it anyway? Praying for everyone who suffers from severe depression and mental illness. Yes please get help for yourself, you're worth it. Especially if you're young. 🙏❤️💓
"sometimes the only thing that keeps us in that passive mindset is the knowledge of how our passing would impact others" oh that hit so hard...
everyone i loved is dead and only one person i care about is still alive, and he doesn't have much longer.
40 years of constant failure has smashed any image of a successful man. I have 40 years more of failing to look forward to. Awesome
six years behind you (34) but right there with you. Life's a cruel joke.
Same, no matter what I do 2 change it
Don't beat yourself up. We all fail. Love is the answer.
@@emc5500love actually only made it worst for me, so duck love, duck god.
@hookemhigh I hope you feel better soon. @RepDanCrenshaw @unitednations
As a first responder with PTSD, I want to thank you for sharing this. I’ve been having some intrusive thoughts recently and I mentioned it to my therapist the other day.
You are so honest with your own mental health and that is very refreshing to see. Especially from a medical professional.
Thank you for helping people. Come scoop me up if you have time 😄
Thank you. I’ve worked with a couple first responders. You guys have seen a side of this world most cannot imagine ❤
@@DrScottEilers it’s not easy but it’s so rewarding. I’m currently also training to become a hypnotherapist. Thank you for your videos. They are great.
I Understand, you can’t unsee things x
@@jessegee179 I have pictures and memories in my head that people wouldn’t believe. I’m thankful I have an amazing family, an amazing partner, and an amazing mental health team.
In the first Minute of this Video I start crying.....because I realized its extactly what I am thinking every Day, to go to sleep at Night at not to wake up cause I am tired of Life
Sleeping is a drug of escape for me. 23 years sober from drugs, alcohol, but I have OCD and OCPD. Facing the world with the very high expectations I have is hard. I am on disability. Kicked out of my counseling psych doctoral program after 6 or so years. Also, I often feel hurt by loved ones as I traits of Borderline. I have childhood trauma. Working with my therapist on EMDR. Some progress, but lots of suicidal thoughts. Please say prayers for me if you are so inclined. -Chris, 54, Missouri, USA
My life has been all trauma. CPTSD from narc mother, SA from way too many abusive men. I’m on the active side of the “SI” spectrum. Life has been so hard. I hope everyone gets the healing they deserve ❤
We won't. Many of us don't get any help whatsoever. And never will.
@@blade_warrior_blueWe should help each other. Most miserable life feels instantly better when someone cares.
You deserve to live, no matter how much shit and pain has been dumped on you.
I could not pass you by:
Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you
as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not
be afraid.
I wish you heal too, all the best!
Im 41 years old and I do NOT want to grow to be old.
😢❤️
Same just turned 40
U already old
@@BenGoldman76 Thanks, brother. I feel better already... : /
@@BenGoldman76 I recall my uncle once telling me how even tho people age they always feel about 18ish inside their mind. I can understand that more now. It's like how in a person's dreams, they aren't old. They see themselves as being like maybe 27....which is the best age....maybe 30 is the best age...or 33.....after that it's downhill. Im jk. Gotta keep fighting the good fight! Love is the only thing that is real.
You summed up my life in the first 20 seconds.
I've felt this way since early teens. There were some years when I was able to get past it but it keeps coming back. Getting older (70) has not made it better. I have seen what the future brings by watching friends and relatives ending up in care homes and being stuck there until something finally kills them - like sepsis. I'm sick of being sick and dealing with loosing so many I love, not being able to do any of the things I've enjoyed and am terrified of the future I know is waiting for me. Why are we "humane" to animals but humans have to suffer to the bitter end? Keeps those DNRs updated.
I'll never forget the first major depression episode I had at twenty years old. I woke up each morning upset I didn't die in my sleep.
People with CPTSD go through this alot. I am alive for my dog. I'm happy to spend the years he's got left being his best friend then once he goes I'm planning on going with him. Nothing left for me on this earth. Felt so calm since I decided this. Now I know I only have a few more years of this life.
Omg I feel like this about My 2 cats. i just want to be with them and once they are gone i will be empty and ill rot away
I had 2 fur babies. My boy passed in Nov 2016 and my girl in Sep 2020. I promised myself I would go to but I'm still here. I miss them so much. My life is empty and pointless. I just want to cross Rainbow Bridge and be with them.
@CeeJayCee523 what I wish is that when I die, I would see my grandpa, my father and all the other dogs that we had since I was a child. I love all of them and I wish they're there waiting for me.
I hope you all have friends and family to support you and make you feel like life is worth living. Xx
My dog keeps me here as well. ❤
I’ve found when passive suicidal ideation is pretty consistent and bad if I encounter a dangerous situation I can’t rely on myself to make safe decisions. In hindsight I can see that it’s not a risk that should have been taken. What you said really did make this bummer of a thing make sense.
It’s unfair that u’re still choose to endure suffering instead to stop it, but u can’t bcoz u still choose to protect other feelings than yours😢
I'm sixty four and have been depressed most of my life. There has been wonderful experiences and downers, not unlike many people. What has made me more actively suicidal for years now is the helplessness of life. I'm not speaking about my own helplessness, but of the world I see in front of me. A very real looming climate disaster, children dying of drug overdoses and being killed in schools. I don't see hope. Most of my friends have abandoned me and I definitely don't blame them. They cannot share my space with such a grim world view. There is very little happening today and in this world that I didn't see coming decades ago. It would have been so much more comforting to know I was wrong. No country for old men, or anyone for that matter. My generation has created a shit storm of epic proportions and there are no solutions. I see babies being born and the only thought is what a hellscape the future is for them. It never leaves my mind.
Telling you to simply enjoy your life and stop thinking about these difficult matters would probably not be helpful, because you're a kind person who is actually worried about current issues and how it will affect the future generations. As a 17 vear old who clicked this video due to a mind plagued by reasons much more selfish than yours, I am glad people like you exist in this world; people who can care about more than just themselves. You've lived such a life full of despair for so long, that even a selfish person like me can't help but wish that you find happiness which lasts forever as well. I will keep trying to live out a good life because people like you exist, so can you try doing the same as well?
I totally get what your saying, I'm 52, n think exactly the same, I'm not depressed, I'm just sad for this world. I am happily married, n financially secure, no offspring, I never wanted to bring kids into this awful place, that seems worse every day.
You've shared many of my thoughts. You're not alone. I'm 67 and have suffered depression and passive suicidal ideation since I was 14. My best years were when I was on antidepressants. They really did help. I've had to wean off since Medicare took over my healthcare decisions, and I ended up with a big bill it's going to take years to pay off. I too look at the horrors on the horizon in store for the world, and they make me want to shake people out of their complacency so they will stand up and fight the powers attempting to destroy us all. When I act on that desire, I run into the futility of being merely a drop in a lake of placid inattentiveness. Some look alarmed by the news but then go on about their agenda without looking back. Others try to assure me it's all fake news. At the end of the day I just feel very alone. I am grateful for every day the sun is still shining and we haven't been nuked, but watching the world descend into its inevitable destruction is frightening and truly depressing.
People need to stop bringing babies into this hell. You are depressed because that is the mkultra agenda. Since columbus "discovered" america, since the "crusades" since caligula, shit is fuct up and the psychopaths that caused this have money in the pedo vatican which i hope soon God obliterates. Until then, you are depressed because God chose you.
@@victoryamartin9773 I hear you! All the things happening in politics today, the hate for others based on nothing, the need for control, just all of the stuff going on in the U.S. and the world. it's all overwhelming. and I feel helpless. How do you not think about what's going on and feel sadness and fear for the future? It does get me "down". I don't know how it couldn't. so, yeah, I hear you guys.
I relate 100%... My brother and sister took their own lives, so it's difficult not to think about it. However, their deaths were very traumatizing to my nieces and nephews. Even though I've had two attempts and also suffer from passive suicidal ideation, I MUST demonstrate to them that yes, life can be very difficult, but it CAN be managed. That's my reason to live...
You are so incredibly strong for that. I know that my words will probably not mean a lot right now, But you will get through this. You are amazing, you are strong, you are funny, and generally you are a wonderful person. Bad luck is good luck in disguise. Keep fighting. You got this!
You are a wonderful person for staying here for them. That's awesome. ❤
I stay to spare my grown son the trauma of a death by suicide. It was a promise I made to myself when he was born. As long as he's alive, I'll continue to keep carrying on.
You have a beautiful soul. Thank you for staying here fot them and giving them hope. This is one of the best things a man can do. Wish you well!
oh, Im so sorry for your loss. Stay safe and take care of yourself, please ❣️
One day you'll manage to smile again and enjoy your life
This world is so umbearable that I honestly prefer to sleep rather than dealing with people. Thank God I love gardening, it's the only thing that still triggers some happiness in me. Thank you for the video.
I know that you won't read this in the endless sea of comments, but I really want to thank you for making this video. Thanks to this video, I'm reaching out for help for the first time after living with what I think is depression with passive suicidal ideation for 15 years.
Finished watching this video in tears. I have been struggling with this “don’t want to live but can’t die”feelings for about 10 years now, even when I was on depression treatment( I give up now, since it doesn’t work much, other than side effects ”. I have been trying hard to answer those questions, but failed. If not because people still need me to take care of them. I really just want to be gone, like I have never existed. On the positive side, I no longer scare about anything anymore, lol.
Thank you Doctor Scott for making this video. And, hope y’all who have been suffering from this are able to find a way out and can finally enjoy this thing called life.
I liked your first comment 😮
I don’t want to be alive. I just lost my husband last month. I have many disorders mental And physical. I am lucky to have an amazing psychiatrist. I have always carried great sadness. And been through much trauma. I on a 1-10 scale sad to happy I am usually a 2. I am 48 and exhausted. Now with this loss I feel just like I’m not supposed to be here. It’s never gotten better for me. Just worse. People see me as funny and cheerful and I light up a room and make people feel happy and special etc. I do it so no one else has to hurt like I do. I would be gone already if not for my son. He is 25 and I refuse to pass my pain to him. Which is what killing my self would do. When people say think of your happiest moment… it wad when I drowned and had a near death experience. How sad is that? I was happiest as I was dying.
There are no depression treatments that work and all this anti depressant pill nonsense is all a con and to make big pharma billions....in fact even anti bionics and the likes are just as bad because the body repairs itself....to be mentally happy I think it's all about routine and being in a good financial state is a start and what I see is most are not and its a constant struggle to get by.
Therapist didn't help me it was a waste of time. I feel no purpose in life, tired of rescuing others all my life but noone to turn to myself. Religious doesn't help either, death end 😢Black dog of depression keeps on following me...
The problem is seeing a therapist would not solve what’s causing my passive SI (being unemployed for almost a year). The best treatment for me would be a job actually hiring me.
I know the hole you're talking about. For me it was "a bomb could drop right here and now, delete me and everyone I know and love from existence and I wouldn't care". Like a genuine sense of whatever, no matter the situation. I truly didn't care if I lived or died. I remember getting outside and each time hoping I'd get run over and the thought had no effect on me, it was actually freeing. I've had these thoughts on and off since I was 14 but they got really bad when I turned 30. Found a wonderful therapist who truly pulled me out of a dark place.
I feel this way, I hate my life. I don't want to wake up. But yes there are people who need me and also my cat. So I just soldier on. I just try to keep myself busy to take my mind off of it.
I've felt this way many times in my life. I'm 57 and remember feeling like this as a teenager.😢
Hey hold tight enjoy the moment 🥹❤️❤️✅ I’m here for you okay
Im with you. Felt this way my whole life.
@@Enemiesexposed oh dear
Me too.
Me too!