Table Manners - Ultimate How-To Guide To Proper Dining Etiquette For Adults & Children
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- Опубликовано: 1 май 2024
- Most people will have a few select occasions - weddings, galas, major anniversaries - in which to participate in formal dining. Formal dining is its own special occasion with very particular rules and conventions. Fortunately, we explain everything that you need to know about formal dining in our dedicated guide.
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00:00 Introduction
00:23 It is About Showing Respect
Table manners are something your parents taught you but are far more important as an adult. First of all, your table manners speak volumes about your refinement and it's often interpreted as a sign of character. It's not at all about being snobby or showing off but much rather showing respect - your host and your dining partners will greatly appreciate your manners.
It's very important to keep in mind, proper table manners always help you and never hurt you. The good thing is they can be learned and it's never too late to do so.
So what are table manners?
02:31 Silence Your Cell Phone & Keep Away
I suggest turning off your cell phone ringer when you enter someone else's home and put your phone in your pocket when you're with the guests. Don't leave your phone on the table because you are much more likely to pick it up and look at it which is impolite In the presence of other people.
02:46 Wait to Be Seated
If the table is all set, don't just walk in and sit down. Wait to be seated or wait for the cue of the host, or when they sit, you can sit as well.
02:56 Sit Up Straight, Don't Slouch
Sit up straight and comfortably - don't slouch, or cross your arms, or sit as you would on your couch while watching a football game.
03:07 Be Ready to Mingle
Don't expect to sit next to your partner and follow the lead of the hosts. Traditionally, couples were always mixed up to sit with different people.
03:23 Place the Napkin in Your Lap
If there's a napkin on the plate or next to a plate, put it on your lap right away. If the host or hostess wants to say grace, accept the gesture for what it is, and move along.
03:39 Examine the Place Setting
Two, let's take a look at the place setting. In the Western world, an informal place will always have at least a plate, a knife, and a fork. If dessert will be served, you'll find either a little fork or a spoon on the top side of the plate. If soup is served or anything else that requires a spoon, you will also have a spoon. On the top right of the plate, you'll likely find a water glass which is always filled and a wine glass which is empty, to begin with. Sometimes you also find beer glasses; if you prefer that, if that's what's served with a meal. If you see little plate with an extra knife on a top left to your plate, that's for bread and butter. When you're done with the course, you place the fork and a knife at a four to five o'clock angle that means you're done.
05:26 How to Plate Your Food
Three, now it's time to serve the food. Most informal dinners are family-style meaning there are bowls or platters where food is served from. For formal dinners, courses are usually plated but we talk about the intricacies of that in our formal dining etiquette video here.
With bowls and anything at the table, the cardinal rule is, don't reach over anybody else and don't touch them. To start, pass the bowl around the table from the left to the right when you get the bowl you hold it and you serve yourself then you pass it on to your neighbor on the right. Always use the serving utensils and never your silverware that's on your place setting. Of course, if the host or hostess has a different idea, go with what they do.
06:57 How to Eat Properly
Four, finally it's time to eat. You should only start eating when everyone else has been served and a host or hostess starts to take their fork and take the lead. It is very impolite and sometimes even rude to just dig into your plate of food while the others are still empty-handed.
16:46 Outfit Rundown 
Хобби
The "Don'ts" in this video are hilarious. Your "unrefined face" is incredible.
Tommy Noble õqqippqpqlqMM
Tommy Noble I
Yeah enjoyed watching the negatives.
Tommy Noble : I am still laughing. I have very bad table manners obviously but I will learn everything he just taught!!!
Tommy Noble nothing wrong with good manners and no. one on the list of good manners is don’t hurt other people’s feelings.
This is the 3am content I was looking for.
No way man...me too...I am also watching this at 2: am...it's funny why I always watch this type of content late at night...😀😀😀
2:48 am for me 😂
Same here
12am for me but I know I'll be watching more from this channel later on.
Badass 3am challenge real fookin spooks
If you happen to have allergies but did not give the host sufficient time. Then make sure you bring your epinephrine with you, as it is impolite to die on the table.
Hilarious
Jason Innes 🤣🤣😁😂
😂😂😂😂
😂😂😂
😊😂🤣
I came from the ghetto and I'm really trying to change. This is competily opposite of how i was raised but i love it so much thank you for helping me you guys are amazing
bro ur white
@@keremoyunda2265you can be from the ghetto and be white? 😂
@keremoyunda2265 so There's no white people in the ghetto? In what world do you live in?
You're smart. Manners are telling and they're important in making business connections. Never stop growing.
@keremoyunda2265 that really shows how much you know with that statement right there.
The salt and pepper tip is so good! As a cook myself, I hate when people salt the food before they try it.
My mother telling me these things drove me crazy as a kid. Now here I am paying close attention as an adult. Thanks mom for putting up with me.
Lies again? Don't point using fork and knife while eating food to show sign of courtesy
Oh
Mother taught me this and we followed this at home. Should be taught at school. A pleasure
Same! But it was my dad for me
Because as you grow you start to give more importance to your community and so start to do things that are seen as good, even if they have no sense in it.
If you would have been raised in a society where the norm is eating with your hands, that's what you would have looking forward to learn
"Making sure people are comfortable within your presence".
*One of the most important things in life*
🆗
Table manners should be taught in America.
AGREED. So tired of children getting up and down and taking food out to the other room and making a mess. And the adults with your phone either on the table in their lap or in their hand while they're trying to talk to you simultaneously with the Snapchat Facebook whatever. Don't forget the kids going mom mom mom mom mom mom mom mom mom all trying to have a grown-up civilized discussion. I miss the calm have a dinner, tidy up the dishes, let's have dessert all together, big dining room table meals.
Actually, what is of utmost importance is that *you* are okay with your own presence. If not, it may be time to check out.
@@revokdaryl1 Thank you. It seems that taking responsibility for everyone's emotional comfort but your own has gone too far now.
Take small bites so you can quickly swallow and respond to questions if asked. I am in the US and was taught to never butter the entire piece of bread at once, and always break off a piece, butter it, put down your knife, then pop the small piece of bread in your mouth. I was also taught that in the US you don't hold your knife in your hand while eating (in the continental style), because it looks aggressive, makes you eat faster, you might accidentally gesture with your knife holding hand, and you can't put your hand in your lap (American style) if you are holding a knife! You are so right, being gracious and forgiving is the best table manner of all.
Yes, I was told the same!😅
Different countries have different customs. Only need to be aware.
At my elementary school, in 4th grade we did a “Manner’s Luncheon.” We spent time learning table manners before hand. Then one day, we had a “fancy” lunch in the cafeteria. We dressed up and boys sat the girls down, etc. It was really fun and informative. I learned more about manner’s from West Point and the military, where it is expected that a military officer acts genteel.
When do your English lessons begin? Why do you place an apostrophe in manners as you did?
@jackieporter5323 ::
jackie, give him a break, why don't ya ?
First off ::
He used quotation marks around "Manner's Luncheon" which means someone else probably effed-up.
Second off (?) ::
Is it his "English" that needs "lessons" or his possessive case usage ?
_[ Oh, what a tangled web we weave when jumpin' on someone else ! ]_
@@jackieporter5323 :: OOPS !!
My bad ‼️ I just read his last sentence where he does use an apostrophe in "manners".
_[ Oh, what a strangling web I weaved when not minding my own business ‼️ ]_
Please be gracious enough to accept my apologies (?)
@@jackieporter5323Luncheon belonging to manners? Similar to day's end?
I'm in the 8th grade and my friend's taking me to a military ball and I'm SO nervous because I'm a complete party girl 😭
I grew up in a working class family and when having holiday dinners at my grandparents we always had multiple courses with stacked plates, many utensils, napkin etc. I learned where the napkin went and general good table manners at a young age and I appreciate it more now as i've gotten older. This isn't a luxurious or wealthy class thing at all, we were not wealthy. This is plain and simple good table manners.
me too thanks to my grandparents i miss them every single day
BLTspace On a rather ironic note, class is classless, you can have millionaires like Cardi B or middle class family with enough education and class to pass traditions and etiquette to younger generations.
👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
I think this very much depends on the country. In most european countries, this would be seen as quiet weird. Here, you lay the napkin next to your plate and put the knife and the fork on top of it.
@@chiarareiner3179 in Germany it is quite normal to Place the napkin right
“If you travel abroad, be aware of the cultural differences...”
Here in Japan slurping is good manners.
i've heard this about ramen shops. where do they stand on audible "nom nom" sounds?
They even eat some food without any knife and fork
well not all asians countries accept that... definitely not here in Korea😨
it's considered good manners to slurp Pho' too, it tells the chef that youre enjoying the food
In some countries passing the salt from hand to hand as shown here is bad luck, you are supposed to pass it but sit it on the table for her/him to reach it.
Watched this a few months ago because I was bored.
Watching this now because I need to attend to a formal party.
How was the party 🤣
@@northerngypsysoul always awkward
Great video. My grandfather lived in Communist Poland as a dirt farmer. They were so poor they had dirt floors. He comes from the upper class before the Communist came, stripping them of all his wealth.
They could beat everything out of him but they could not take the gentleman out of him. He taught us all as his grandkids to eat this way. It always looks good it doesn't matter how poor you are. It does set your stage in society. Even now you can see from photos or hes at the table that he was a gentleman by the way he held himself. I watch these to remind myself so that in the future when they see my photos they will look at me the same way. We are not bums and broads where are ladies and gentlemen.
Great video I'm going to direct my kids here.
I hate Communism so much it's unreal
Eating habits are a dead giveaway when you meet people who got educated under a communist system. Marx declared social and table manners a fallacy of the rich. Don't be surprised when they reach out with their fingers for anything on the table. Break off parts, and return the rest "for the community". And of course, always clean fingers - they lick them while they help themselves. No - these are not snobs - but people you talk about culture, music, art, Opera, in between reach out for olives or nuts without using utensils.
👍🏻 my parents come from Czechoslovakia and I was taught most of this by the harsh hand of my father, and if I ever got it wrong he never failed to use said hand to make me realize that mistake. I had proper table manners all my life and whenever we went on a cruise and ate at the Captain’s dinner I always was shocked at the horrible manners of most Americans. I had fun pretending that we were wealthy and seeing how “proper” I could be at dinner. We always were complimented, which was nice since I was a middle-class kid, though in the 80’s we were in better times. Love the video!
the most important table manner would be to not react negatively if someone does something that you perceive as bad table manners.
Great comment. This is the first "table manner" everyone should learn.
Great comment. It's so common to see people jumping to conclusions without understanding another person's culture. Keep calm and eat your food!
I can stand anything except "LOUD burrrrps"!!!!
Hasna Hashim what about loud farts?
@@magnetar2524 Uh oh! Need to edit my comment🤪
So...my dad taught me well. 99% of what you showed here is what I learned from my father. I was raised in Japan and U.S. I am blessed to have appreciation for both culture. Thank you!
@@ningqi Get out of here.
I also learned most these things from my father.
@@ningqi really? so much for the japanese master race
@@ningqi maybe I am a Tang Chinese
Even me! I leart all these from your father as well!
You just summarized my childhood in less than 20 minutes. My parents were very strict with manners, and now as an adult they come naturally to me. The only conflict I had growing up was that my parents divorced early on: my Dad had (and expected) Continental manners, while my Mom had (and expected) American manners. So if I mixed them up and used the "wrong" manners with either of them, I would get into serious trouble. Thank you for sharing this important knowledge with others!
Wow that sounds really stressful
It’s nice to have someone validate what had been taught to me. In addition, to have picked up a few pointers/tips. Thank you!
Likewise
When we were chidren, we learned all of these rules. And we still use them today. Two things that spoil dining out - when everyone is texting and when folks bring their screaming children and let them do as they please.
The best story I heard on this was about Prince Albert, the consort to Queen Victoria. In the old days there would be a glass tumbler on the table to wash your fingers in. At a social gathering a working class man mistakenly drank it. Prince Albert immediately drank his, and so every other person at the table was obliged to drink theirs. Now that is true manners. It's not about ostracising people, it's about making them feel comfortable.
so if the working man broke wind what would Prince Albert do ?
Patrick I certainly respect the spirit of the guests. But where do you draw the line when it comes to making the mistake memorable? I'm sure he felt mortified afterward. He probably hoped people would just let it go, but here we stand we in 2018. Lol
That's not just manners, that's 100% pure, raw, unfiltered class.
Perfectly true That is why i was embarrassed when President Obama made a mistake on following his speech he asked the guests to rise and salut the queen by sipping champagne. He forget the anthem . In my view her majesty should have done like Albert. She made the President look foolish.
@nunya inct How dare you, the former president had plenty of class. Everyone makes mistakes, that's no reason to label someone classless. Especially not someone who in such a high seat of power must've attended numerous formal events himself.
A few years ago I went for a trip on the Canberra cruise liner (age 14), all the meals were formal. I was initially quite concerned that there may be something I was unaware of at meal times. Seems that my parents had trained me up to the required standards when I was a kid, and nothing cropped up that was unexpected. Correct table manners are something that people should learn as kids.
I'm 50 & 🇺🇸. I understand the "napkin" on the lap bit but I RARELY do it longer than 5-10min. I'd wipe my mouth or hands as needed. That is improper.
I remember in 4th grade I picked up a book called “A Web of Manners”. I still brag I can set a table for more than two courses to this day~
Very commanding, unfortunately today's parents teaching their children total ignorance toward personal culture.
The general believes are the bigger Baboon you are the better chance to survive in the jungle of life. VARY SAD!!!
@@pauljastrzebiec-milewski4410 Our society rewards bad behavior nowadays.
My wife has a wonderful mother. I'm lucky there. When she was a teenager she scolded her over her table manners. She said you will meet a man who will not like your table manners and be embarrassed. She was correct. I had to teach her proper table manners. The funny part is I'm a dirtbag scaffolder. Thankfully I have a great mom who like your parents taught me etiquette. As an adult I now own a scaffold mob and manners are again important. I'll teach my little ones the same. Even a blue collar man can be a gentleman when he needs to be.
I really appreciate these manners; my dad made sure to teach them to me, as he had learned them from our great aunt. I suppose our family took a lot of pride in table etiquette. I found out it was due to one of our relatives being a former teacher on the Spanish royal court. The last reminder is the best; it's simply rude to chastise and criticize guests or hosts especially at an informal affair. It's great to show off skills, but not at the expense of others esteem and comfort. The point of etiquette is to create a comfortable and fun atmosphere.
And don't start eating until the hostess has placed her napkin and takes the first bite.
I'm American and I always got chastised for the continental method with the upside down fork.. even though this is the most efficient way!! I wish this video had been around during my childhood.
It annoys me!
The fork is bent to stab meat, not to act as a spoon.
I think the presenter is making the point that efficency is not the sole issue when eating in public. On that basis, one could just pick up the plate and shovel the food off it. Hmm. Could be worth a try, mind you.
I’m here because I’m learning this in school...I’ve been eating like this every night for a week, my parents look at me like I’m crazy as I take 2 hours to eat
Same in Home EC
Good food should never be rushed
@@greghart6310 Amen!
I tried it with my bojangles meal. My chicken got cold 💀
What kind of school do you go to? This stuff was never taught to me.
In Greece, if you're invited at 8:00pm and you actually be there on time, your host probably hasn't gotten out of the shower
That also happens in Mexico
in Bangladesh too😂
Serbia as well - I really don't like it. I am always at a place right on time, in minute. If I see that I'll arrive sooner than I should, I slow down, take a detour. If I happen to be late, even for a minute or two, I make sure that people know it. And anything more than 5 minute delay is simply unacceptable unless there was some unforeseen event, like a car accident on a bridge and you are stuck in traffic. As herr Flick would say "Do not be late. Do not be early. Be PUNCTUAL!" :)
Hahahaha I‘m ayrab and that‘s, well, pretty much everytime I meet someone. We always say „let‘s meet at 7“ wich means were meeting at 8:30
Σωστοοοοοοοοοος
Created a course based on this video for my kids. You did a great job demonstrating both the correct and incorrect etiquette. THANK YOU SIR.
After watching him and his suit i remembered mr bean
😂
I am a father of 3, and I find this channel/videos fascinating. My daughters (13 & 10) can set & serve traditional dinners properly, while my son (17) can cut his food without looking silly & pick out the intricate details of a bespoke suit! It's required viewing in my home! So many children lack even the most basic of daily etiquette. I'm thrilled I found this channel!
❤️
You should teach your girls to cut food and your boy to serve and prep, chores have no gender.
@@donnalee. I agree
@@donnalee. you should keep your crutches to yourself
@@youcrazycat1 you should get rid of crutches once you recovered I guess
I live with people who pride themselves on bad manners. Watching this is like a breath of fresh air. If I try to use good manners I am made fun of. Civilized people is not a phrase I live with but this was a delight to watch.
Awesome!!!!! I learned a lot of this when I was in an exchange program to Germany. I knew done table manners before, but this brought back a ton of memories and I don’t accept less. Anytime I’m out or at someone’s home.. they always notice my table manners and are impressed. I love a formal table setting since we were too poor to have this.
Wonderful video.. much appreciation.
New subbie from Tampa Florida 🌴
You're teaching me all the stuff my dad was supposed to teach me little by little. Thank you sir.
HAHAHAA SAME HERE I GUESS YOU CAN SAY HES A GOOD SPORT
Your dad probably tried…….you were to young to notice or care, no?
Creaping rat the use gutter and icicles with 4 fryers as the top shields to cover what the situation was then 😂
This is about the first time I've actually felt I was watching a "how to behave" video on RUclips that was genuinely useful, not condescending, and looks so classy it was inspiring. As well as being a little bit light-hearted. Yes, table manners make OTHER PEOPLE feel comfortable. You know, all those people who aren't you?
And this gentleman deserves the Nobel Prize, a Guggenheim Fellowship and a Canada Council Grant for #1: TURN OFF your cell phone and put it away. The cell phone has done more to ruin people's manners than the egg salad sandwich, and that's saying a lot. Brilliance.
Merci
I agree. Cell phone is going to ruin our manners. Everywhere you look, you see someone on the phone 😱
@david....exactly like our home eck. teacher taught us 50 years ago. except for the cell phone.
@@bilbil7331 eck???
@@bonniekuhn1366 Home economics. Basically, cookery and housecraft.
@4:57 I was raised to have the fork turned upside down, with the curved part crossing the tip of the knife in an X formation... indicating that my eating of the meal was still in progress. For the rest, everything looks exactly the same as Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years and Easter family dinners. They were always served in a Victorian dining room setting with all of the appropriate silverware and crystal water (et al) glasses. My grandfather was English and my grandmother Canadian. And, family dinners were always conducted formaly - complete with sparkling dinner conversation. My grandparents were excellent hosts - and they always made guests feel welcome and appreciated. The dress code was always, on point. I am lucky to have many fond remembrances, which also included my great grandparents being present at these occasions, as well.
Thanks for sparking the memories :)
I’ve had the pleasure of hosting/dining with friends and colleagues after a two-year drought and came here to clear up an oddly specific conundrum. I’ve always passed salt and pepper together, but this gesture is increasingly met with, “I only asked for the salt [or pepper].” I began wondering whether that rule had become antiquated in the many years that have passed since I first learned it. As baseline etiquette mandates above all to make one’s companions comfortable, the last thing I’m going to do is correct my dinnermates’ table manners - that’s a parent’s job (and even then, to be done with discretion rather than shaming in front of a dinner audience!). And yet, by passing seasonings together, of late, I seem to be *creating* the very discomfort I’m seeking to avoid.
At this point I’m tempted to casually say, “Here, I’ll hand you the pepper/salt as well so we can keep them together,” whilst passing (it’s my understanding that’s the reasoning behind the passing both in the first place) in all but the most formal settings. I realize I run the risk of insulting those who already have this knowledge, but the response has been SO frequent lately, and those who DO have that knowledge will hopefully be more generous in their response than a condescending, “Thanks, I knew that.” Happy to hear others’ thoughts on this (probably trivial) matter!
I've noticed this as well! It reminds me of people rejecting and "I'm sorry" with "What are you sorry for? It's not your fault." Unfortunately, it seems like when enough people question a standard of behavior, others follow suit. It's considerate to keep the salt and pepper together so that the next person who needs them doesn't have to ask two different people to pass them. (Sorry actually comes from the root word "soris" from which we also derive sorrow. It's most common usage is as an expression of sympathy, not apology, but for some reason a large number of people seem to be unaware of this.)
me watching this on bed, eating a plate of fish with a spoon: *_"Interesting"_*
wait.....whaaaat?
Dude same!
You use silverware? I go full Bear Grills
Just use your hands!
Me on the toilet before work at a liquor store "I'm so f***ing high class dawg"
This is amazing. I finally feel like table manners are not about being rich or snobbish, just about making everyone else feel respected and comfortable.
You got it.
I remember learning this as throughout my childhood and table manners stuck with me for life.
I've just come across your channel Sven. I enjoy your content, and as someone who wants to teach my future children (especially future sons) good values, how to carry themselves, etc., it good to see these matter still being taught in a world where they are far and few between.
I come from a family (immediate and extended) that took table manners seriously. When you reached a certain age, we would be sent to etiquette school and be expected to join the adults at the adult table. But most of my learning happened by helping set the table. In college and in early adult life, I realized etiquette and manners help me gain certain advantages academically, personally and professionally. It also helped me navigate interactions with people as I always knew what to do and say in all types of situations. If you are an adult now, I think it is worth it to take an etiquette class/charm school or at least read Emily Post books. Class and grace is how people remember you act around them and how you treated them. You gain so much from that, its like having a key that makes your life easier and better.
BTW, I would never place my napkin on the table like you showed here when leaving the table. It may signal to servers you are done with your course and might take your food away. Also, fellow diners wouldn’t want to see your used napkin right next to them. I would place my napkin on the chair.
About the napkin, I was told that was rude too, especially when put on your empty plate. Everyone does that nowadays.
Yes, if you have not finished your course/meal, and need to leave the table, the napkin goes on your chair, not back on the table!
Yes, about the napkin, I was taught to place in the chair as a placeholder. Also, ladies wearing lipstick should fold the napkin in half on her lap so as the smears from mouth wiping are on the interior, hidden from view. 🌹
That’s really interesting. i didn’t even know there was such thing as a manners school😅 can i ask where you’re from?
@@thewindgamer2607 If you’re asking me, I didn’t attend “Manners School”, my grandma taught me. Vogue’s 1948 Book of Etiquette was my manual. She also taught me to make my bed every morning so that no matter what else happened that day you know you have already accomplished something. 🥰 Cali, USA!
As a teenager, I always hated being forced to follow table manners. I assumed table manners were for the pretentious and arrogant. Table manners is just a kill joy. But as I have grown older, I realize it just comes down to respect. A real gentleman comes down to respecting others, no matter what may be the difference. This video has some great information on doing just that. Thanks for the tips.
Kurtanius21 it just shows so much control and finesse. I'm from a poor family, poor friends, poor schooling, poor neighbourhood but expensive University education. By the time I got to university I was so unrefined that every interaction was somewhat embarrassing, which says a lot since University students aren't exactly refined. Now I'm the most refined and respectable person among all of my friends.
I used to slur my words as well. Now I am dripping finesse left, right and centre.
It’s a shame though that humans haven’t learnt the manners and etiquette of not killing eachother
T K You seem very humble too,that’s actually great /s
I come from a blue collar/labor, African-American Family. My parents were from rural Texas and Arkansas; who migrated to California to live, work and raise a family of 5 children. It was required to learn and use any and all table manners that were available to us. Of course we didn't have 3 different forks to use during our meals, but we had to learn to use our manners every time we sat down to eat any where and with anyone! My mother and my father taught us. My mother had beautiful China and Silver that we used only on special occasions and holidays. I am an only girl among 4 brothers. I thank God for parents who instructed us in correct, proper dining habits so that...as my father would say...."So you can dine with good manners and class from Watts to Beverly Hills."
@@monjier Wonderful!! Part of our goals in life always include self-improvement.
This is so helpful. I always wonder if I am taking food pieces that are too large, because I always have to make people wait for a a few seconds, before I can answer their questions.
Eat when it's their turn to talk and they should also know when to ask question... Plus, try to adjust your speed. :)
Isn't it great when, at a restaurant, the waiter always asks you a question the very moment after you've taken a bite?
I love your channel, I'm from the middle class and it is really helpful to learn good manners and subtle stuff I would never have learned otherwise. Thanks a lot.
Ah, proper etiquette & table manners! A lost art of sorts. As a child of the '60s, these manners were taught & insisted upon by my parents on to my siblings and I. Starting at a young age and practiced in our home during Sunday's main family meals, at holiday meals, in restaurants and any other functions outside our home that included other folks (like certain church & country club functions, anniversary celebrations, wedding receptions etc). They were expected of us, no excuses. It was also expected of us to say "please" and "thank you". My sister & I were sent to "charm school" as soon as we met the age requirement. Boys also went to these etiquette schools. At the time I didn't see the point of all this stuff..but I practiced them growing up and as a parent, I taught my children to do the same. IMO, they are one of most important things we can teach our children. They can make or break another's first impression of you & your character. They make all the difference.
Good explanation and demonstration of good manners
"to my siblings and I"...that in itself is an indication of refinement. How I wish I was born in the '50s or '60s!
Proper etiquette is important,ill agree with that but some of the pointers are pretentious
Agree and had similar childhood
@@arijitdas5402 Surely it should be me not I?....🤔
So my friends pointed out that they are not usually comfortable when eating with me in any restaurant setting because I follow almost all of these instructions.
I was really taught to eat that way ever since I was a kid, and i never noticed that I do.
But apparently following such behavior made them thing that I might judge them if they do not xD
It sounds like their more self conscious about their own lack of table manners then this being your issue.
Personally I somehow managed to absorb continental table manners at some point even though I grew up with the 'switching' American way. I also tend to eat quite quickly.
best way to defuse that situation is to follow the etiquette rules to a 'T' but then letting rip a smelly loud one, your co-diners will feel so much more at ease 👍
The goldne rule is to eat how everyone else is, otherwise they might feel uncomfortable
I do judge people with bad table manners 😅😅
My eating companions tell me that I always eat all of my veggies first, all of my starches next and then my meat; and that I rarely drink during the meal. I didn’t realize this but I remember growing up I had a small appetite and this was how my mom taught me to eat. Good job, mom!
Great video. Great lesson. I have many times been out with a small group of people for dinner, and those who have never observed any table manners, through poor training or a lack of respect for others, stand out quite starkly.
A quick lesson is to try not to offend others around you while you are eating, e.g. making noises while you eat or talking with your mouth full. No one wants to see inside your mouth while you chew your food.
I was fortunate to have had a mother who attended an all women's school where etiquette class was mandatory. The three girls and one boy in the family were taught meal etiquette from childhood. With the relaxation of what is socially acceptable at the table, I and my elder sister are the only ones to continue these practices.
Even many waiters and waitresses no longer know how to read a table. Thank you.
Thank you for a great video! As a blind person, I greatly appreciate all the detailed descriptions. I even got to find out how you were dressed. Beautiful! You almost never see that anymore.
Growing up as a kid, our mother made us listen to her excerpts from the "Good Book of Manners" every other meal. What we thought was boring and repetitive, payed dividends throughout my life. Thanks for bringing class back into a classless society. Excellent video!
"Classless society" lol. I wish.
bro we spent ages trying to get rid of class and this guy is trying to bring it back
Hear hear!
@@tree427 there is Social Class and Classy Behaviour. He's referring to the latter. Classy Behaviour is not dependent on your social class. You could be a multimillionaire from an historic wealthy family or a poor builder. Both can behave with class or uncultured. My grandad never went to high school. He started working on building sites aged 12. He never, and I mean never, went out socially in tracksuits. Both he and my grandmother always dressed nicely, he wore suits with ties and vneck jumpers and treated everyone with respect. As a result they were both very well respected despite being immigrants in Britain in the 50s.
@@tree427 'Class' has nothing to do with 'rank', as in the British society of royals, aristocrats, landowners, workers, servants, etc. Some of the most classy people I know are of what some might consider 'lower rank'. I've seen (and so have you, if you watched our former president with the Queen of England) filthy rich people behave like utter slobs with no class whatsoever. The idea is to be polite, kind and not make others feel inferior based on their income or lack thereof. THAT'S what America was all about when it was founded.
Excellent video. Missed one point: before drinking, use your napkin to wipe your mouth. Nothing worse than some sort of sauce left on your glass! My mother was from a large poor family who practiced, well, let's say, very informal customs. She made a point to learn from others. In our home she always set a fine table, and set it beautifully, and we grew up practicing proper etiquette on a daily basis. Eating is one of the sensuous pleasures of life -- make the most of it!
life have a a time for every thing
you are not supposed to wipe your mouth with a napkin because when you eat properly and with manners there be no sauce or any food stuffs to wipe away. but it sometimes happens that you will need to wipe you mouth because...and use the napkin(lol i need 10 napkins eating burritos)
When I grew up in the 60's and 70's even poor families or lower middle class families taught their children manners for how to behave at other people's homes and how to be polite at the table, how to speak to your friends parents. I don't see this much any more.
@@sherry1072 Agreed. Manners are for everyone, irrespective of economic differences.
You should do a video about fragrances.
I was taught as a young child to do all of the things you mentioned in your video. It's a good Refresher. It is amazing how many people are so ignorant to having good manners. It really turns me off as a single man if I take somebody out and they don't know how to act. Thank you great video even though it was a long time ago the good thing is manners never change people do
I’ve watched this video a few years back. It’s always good to review and make certain you’re doing things properly.
After watching this I realized that all those times that I got invited to "informal" diners after work or during lunch time, I eat like a barbaric Viking in the Dark Ages
Woah hehe, three *different* periods of history there.
Me: Stone age
You are just simply uneducated in manners, that is all. So this will help.
Haha!
@@KellieEverts--conductsNightTra The problem with me is that when my friends are the ones don't pay attention to table manners, it feels awkward to eat like what this video shows me. Besides, eating with hands is the most normal way to eat in my country (Indonesia), it's not bad manners as long as you don't chew out loud or with your mouth open. It's also fine as long as you don't get messy and clean your plates, though I always eat rice with spoon
Tradition means being taught by word of mouth. Manners are being lost by lack of transmittal. Thank you for continuing the tradition.
@Robert Walker
I was a stay at home mom, therefore my theory has been that there was no one at home to teach their kids the proper way to do things, such as eat.
I recall a lot of these points being engrained in me as a child. I thoroughly enjoyed the way the content was presented. Well done.
This is literally how I grew up. My family was one of the ones that werethe politest people, raised gentlemen and fine ladies
16:38 "Be kind, be generous, ask questions, listen, be a good sport, and smile." Well, that's just all-around solid advice, isn't it?
My grandparents were very serious regarding etiquette. Bread was always buttered lying flat on the bread plate , never in hand . Soup eaten by drawing away with the spoon , never scooped toward you. No salt or pepper unless offered. Fork left hand always pointed down , index finger MUST rest on top of the knife while cutting, fingers not allowed to wrap around the knife handle..that would show that the food was improperly cooked and hard to cut. Spoon and fork always placed downwards on the plate to signify being finished...only an unused utensil was allowed to point upwards .BTW fork cutting is acceptable for deserts . I always thought it was a useless set of rules , but it stands out greatly when dining formally. You notice that others begin to copy you because it appears you have sort of special ritual knowledge . Appreciate the video.. brings back memories
Pure idiocy.
Your grandparents served as excellent examples. The rules regarding utensils (being pointed up or down) might be particular to your part of the world (For me, I place the fork and knife parallel and pointing toward the centre of the plate from the 4 o'clock position), but the discipline itself is admirable.
@Johnny Appleseed Don't put yourself down. Working men are the salt of the earth. Respect yourself by showing good manners. No man is unworty of refinement.
Yeah no, i'm good.😂
Silly thing with salt and pepper, too particular about the knife, but I tend to agree with the rest.
I still remember being lectured on how to eat soup, and how to direct the spoon depending on whether the spoon was holding solids or liquid
Thanks for this video. I am guilty of adding salt before tasting a meal, my mom would be very happy that someone else has addressed this issue and I have "hopefully" got it.
"Do not chew with your mouth open and make sounds like a pig."
My dad: :/
Everyone's dad: :\
Tell this to the Chinese
My brother ):
Almost everyone's dad 😭
My wife.
Also notice that when someone ask for the bowl with vegtables to be passed, do not serve yourself before passing it on, but ask for the bowl to be returned.
Also notice that when you scoop the vegetables into the spoon you do it from the side of the bowl towards the center, that way you avoid scooping food over the edge of the bowl and on to the table.
You hold a glass by the stem for two reasons, your hands wont alter the temperature of the wine and the glass loks nice and clean.
I was taught never to clink but salute when drinking wine.
This is western etiquette. In Eastern and Middle Eastern countries, the etiquette is at times the opposite..Heck even British and American table etiquette is different and both are western countries.
I am terrible with holding a glass at the stem, but you are completely right.
I clink with people next to me if I clink, to the other guests across the table I only lift my glass, nod and smile. That is with friends and family. In a formal setting no clinking just lift glass, nod and smile otherwise your sleeves might get caught, you have to sort of get up halfway, and it all becomes awkward with table decorations or, if there are candles, you set the place on fire.
Obv u don't serve urself first u look like a pork otherwise, this is basic
A wine glass has a stem, not a stalk.
@@patbnj Sorry, and thank you for the correction, english is not my first language.
This is wonderful! For a long time I have been wanting to see etiquette videos! I don't care what some people may think.....one can never go wrong with good manners!!!!.....and people DO notice! More please........ thank you so much! I learned a lot just watching this.
There is no need to be too complex. Just be normal and do what is reasonable and right, you are on the point.
I learned every single one of these tips as a little kid mostly from my mother commenting during dinners over a few yrs. time....pure class.
RUclips algorithm is scary. I got this recommendation just a day after I had already finished my plate, while my boss hadn't even started. I received a death stare in return 😂
Did you get the job?
@@corrineweber1007 I already had the job
@@nandan200 looks like you'll get fired next month 😂
Jk
He should have given you positive review, cause he'd know you could basically work through lunch if you already knew how to inhale your food on the run. Most jobs nowadays require that skill. I'm in a job now, where eating lunch is wishful thinking.
@@monicabct That's a good way of looking at it! Maybe I should ask for a raise
This man's smile just brings me so much joy. You sir, have earned yourself a new sub. Now thanks to you, I could use these methods when I meet my crushes parents. That is if they serve food.
A helpful refresher. I'm guilty of putting my elbows on the table and eating too fast. My Mom taught us these manners and I think they covered them in school, too. But with years of a rougher sort of lifestyle, I forgot some of them. A couple of times I've felt awkward when eating with people who remained more refined. Now I'll be more careful!
As a waiter, I wish more people ate like this. It's always nice to see when someone stacks their plates for me to clear up, or even better, they put it all on a tray. It's a simple thing but it can make someone's day a little more fun. Also doing stuff like putting cutlery in the done position, as it means I can clearly tell that you're done and I should clear your table next.
How was i never aware that stacking plates is seen as rude. Maybe it's not a thing in Ireland or maybe it's just because i work at a 3 star hotel and it's a much more casual enviroment.
Wait, DO stack the plates? I used to stack plates all the time, neatly, because it just seemed helpful and like an easier way for the wait staff to grab them. Then I kept reading that you should NOT do this. Something about concern that perhaps I would stack things improperly. So I stopped. Now I don't know what to do. Just trying to make life easier for servers!
@@andrewkelly6828 depends on how you stack them. To me, the fact that you even tried is a good thing. Even if it's stacked poorly, it still makes it easier. There's these 2 guys that come in every day and eat like pigs. They leave sugar packets all over the table, plates and bowls all around, spilled tea and coffee, EVERYTHING. Cleaning that table is horrible. But even just stacking a few plates or putting the cutlery together helps.
very bad manners to stack plates
@@DaytonaStation is it? I don't understand how it would be.
@@bigmanmccheez5342 it's not elegant and can be awkward. Removal of plates is for the server to do. The diners are to focus on each other. Now if it's a really casual restaurant then its not a problem.
This is the most in-depth etiquette video I’ve seen on RUclips. Great Job Raphael !
People say that formality, chivalry and old school manners are demode' or pass'. The fact that this video ha almost 7 million views stands as proof that people still want to learn proper manners
Terrific presentation - refined, humorous, and really practical. This is information that could help somebody make money, forge lasting connections, and be invited back - I plan to share this and other videos of yours with several people in my life. I want to really listen and pay attention will be the ones who will be successful. Thank you VERY much!
Since barely anything was new for me, I think I should compliment my parents ^^
Agreed!
He made the mistake of emptying a bottle of red wine; even when there's no sediment a little should remain at the bottom. (It also provides an acceptable counter balance when you throw it over your shoulder to the butler.)
Lol, I was going to say the same thing, if you need a youtube video to show you how to eat, what sort of education did your parents give you :P
Barry A. I also prefer continental. There are some things I'm not sure of, like when you finish eating is the knife on the outside or inside? Also is the fork facing up or down. I tend towards down. I heard that was a more British style of doing things.
Calm down
epic outfit .. this channel feels like my grandpa teaching me how to be a man...this channel is priceless, for everything else there is MasterCard
I feel like my grandfather could never teach me any of the things discussed on this channel, my father DEFINITELY couldn't.
I've only been watching this channel for a few months. It's crazy how much I have learned about dressing well and etiquette.
😂😂😂
Ciobanu Marius Constantin i
Thanks!
This was a great brush-up and your comedic elements made watching the video more enjoyable. thank you!
Love this. Our civility is falling by the way side nowadays and these reminders are necessary. Please keep 'em coming.
Table manners = 18 minutes
My eating time = 5 minutes
😆😆🤣
My eating time is 3 minutes
Haha
☺️😋☺️😋☺️😁😋
Is that for 7 or 8 courses?
15:26 Don't ask for more wine but look at the empty glass sadly so that the host could notice and bring some more wine for you.🤣🤣🤣
Ok. This is a video EVERYONE should watch. Emphasizing those who eat with an open mouth
My parents raised us in a British manner, I am very thankful for the effort they put into raiding my sister and I.
I just applied these recommendations, at McDonalds. It worked, for the first 3 seconds.
The specialty at McDonald's is sandwiches, which were originated so people could eat without interrupting other activities, like playing cards or working. Not exactly a formal occasion, but you should still avoid chewing with your mouth open, resting your elbows on the table, or getting ketchup all over your face and clothing. Also, no loud burping, belching or farting.
Which side does the ketchup cup go on?
Not so many on this platform with class
Jokes aside I think there are some points in this video where you can indeed apply to Mc Donalds.
Of course! Decent manners at table apply whether a picnic, McDonalds, a family dinner, or a formal occasion. If, however, one wants to eat their hamburger with a knife and fork we are moving into territory that requires a psychiatrist, not schooling in etiquette.
Finally Ill learn this and tell everyone else "you animals. dont you know how to eat?"😁
I prefer the term "uneducated swine". Much better reactions.
16:23
Tried it, got kicked out of kfc
🤣
If you would say that, it would just mean you haven't learned yet. ;)
Interestingly enough, I learned most of these manners as a kid (here in Germany), and my parents were quite normal, lower middle-class people. Yes, some details I didn't know or forgot, or they where different (I learned to *not* cut potatoes with the knife, but with the fork - I never understood this rule; same with not to trickle lemon on potatoes - I later found that this isn't as unusual as my mother made it out to be).
What a lovely video. I agree with everything. My children were always good in restaurants because their good table manners were instilled from early in childhood.
"If you ever have to leave the table, make sure it's for a maximum of 5 minutes, otherwise it's very impolite and rude"
Apparently, nobody at Brazzers is aware of this
@@mr.holiday8995 ewww
Best comment ever 😂😂😂😂😂
sharran vishvanath someone needs to say something, they can’t go on in this way. It simply will not do!
Man of culture I see 😂😂😂😂😂👍🏽
Hahaha
A good habit is to blot your lips before you drink from your glass as the French do .That way the glass will be free of smudges and the glass will not loose its sparkle ! It is refined, lol. When interrupting your eating in order to speak, do not point your utensils upwards , keep them close to your plate ,, pointing down . Do not bring your face to the fork, rather bring the fork to your mouth , so you are able to sit straight in your chair , rather then bending down .I learned all that as a little girl from my German father . We actually had to put books under the arms and hold them there, until we were used to keeping the arms close to the sides of the body . I am very grateful to my father for taking the time to teach us good table manners , it is a blessing and I feel comfortable dining among dignitaries , lol.
You are lucky to have such a caring father.
this is fantastic. well done. i appreciate your genuine passion for the topic that makes it easier to embrace and understand, especially for my kids
The seasoning tip is actually well thought out in my opinion. It is actually pretty polite to taste before seasoning.
Showed this to my daughter, she's a gentleman
awww
My dad taught me one of the most important things about etiquette is that it sends a message. Its a type of communication, and the ability to use it in your favor can be extremely beneficial. You don't have to be extremely snobby every time, but instead communicate your thoughts and opinions through it. As a young adult, I have to relearn everything again, because my whole life I've eaten on the sidewalk or in my room, now it's time for me to start a professional life, and thus, learn to behave in formal situations, excelente video.
what did your dad tell you about avatar choices?
@@bluebellbeatnik4945stop it 😂😂😂😂😂
I wish I knew this sooner. Just found this channel about three days ago. I've once been invited into a fine dining experience. Watching this video gives me flashback of how bad my table manner was, and now I know why I am not invited anymore. I wish I am invited again now that I learn new things from this video 😑
Thank you sir for teaching us true gentleman’s etiquette you’re a true gentleman
My mother raised me with these rules and I was always so annoyed at the time. Now I am greatful it is automatically ingrained and I am continuing to educate myself further and refresh my memory on them!
Don't start eating untill someone else starts to
What if everybody thinks so
The host must stat it first then
I wondered the same when he said that...
Sachin Subhash I think he said when they are served, if they are you can just wait for the host
We eliminate obesity. Everyone wins.
STALEMATE! SUDDEN DEATH BEGINS
One of those channels you fell in love within two first seconds of the first their video you saw
Thank you for such an amazing and helpful video.
It would be very interesting if after every video you could take a quiz and see how much information was remembered after the lesson :)
As a low-level peasant (!) this is not a world into which I would expect to be invited, but it was perhaps the most delightful and interesting video I've seen in a long time. What a smile you have. The personification of charm. Thank you.
You can do it anywhere. You don’t have to be in a place with wooden panels and a crested tapestry
the napkin, the mouth open, the elbows, the knife, the chair, etc
Now I have to search for
"The etiquette of refusing a dinner invitation"
Have you find it? I could learn from it
Through rsvp maybe?
lol
Excuse me, I’ve seen a video about table etiquette and I don’t want to eat tied.
hhaahahhahahah
so gentle and "organic", thank you very much
Beautiful etiquette 101 presentation. I'm impressed that you addresed the cellphone and to put it away.
I like how you address some differences in different countries
I'm so glad I found this channel, even though my upbringing and social class don't emphasize these manners I feel inspired to be a gentleman and a better person overall, more kind, more aware of my manners and how I carry myself. Thank you!
I support your growth all the way. My dad had no real example, was raised in the country by his grandmother. He truly was a country gentleman. As his daughter (1 of 3) I felt his strong gentle presence at all times. I never heard a bad word. He was respected and liked by all. He would tell his grandsons "A real man takes his coffee black and keeps his shoes polished". You will stand out, but in a very good way. As a mom of a 25 year old son, good for you.
@@saraG100 inspiring, thanks for sharing. I've recently turned 28 :) some things must be adaptated to the Brazilian context - hard to wear a suit in the hot summer! - but most tips I've found here are universal. That's the point I guess.
My dad also had his grandsons read a book called "How to win Friends and Influence People " by Dale Carnegie. It's quite old but as he made me read it too I can say the ideas are timeless and classy. Easy quick read. Kept thinking I should suggest it to you.
@@saraG100 thank you, I've read this one :D it's really popular.
I enjoy this channel. I grew up in the hotel industry. Many of my father’s employees and supervisors were European. We dressed for dinner, we used etiquette, and behaved in manners differently than today. It was a good life! 😊
linswango n
Sounds like a boring life.....
I love Sven, he has such a nice voice
Phew! I’m happy to confess I knew at least 70% of this knowledge. I owe that to my mother, 8th grade home economics teacher, & Downtown Abbey 😉😁 (Carson)! Loving the knife rest!