As an English person, my experience of Dutch people ties in with this - they come across as relaxed and practical, and straight to the point about things. On the subject of hospitality Vera, I think you underestimate your fellow Dutchys (Dutchies?). I have stayed at many campsites around The Netherlands, and have lost count of the number of times the campsite owner has invited us to join them for coffee, and sometimes a cake or biscuit, upon our arrival. They're always very welcoming. One time my family was touring part of The Netherlands by bicycle, and my mother injured her knee, which really slowed our pace. A lady on an e-bike caught up to us and noticed our difficulties, and offered us to camp in her nearby garden! After we pitched our tent, she brought us oranges, showed us where they had a WC & washroom in the corner of their barn, and left us to it, with suggestions on where to seek medical attention the following day if that became necessary. We couldn't have been more grateful. Honestly, Dutch people are the best!
As someone who is possibly neurodivergent, these Dutch ways of life seem so refreshing with the upfront and structured nature they tend to have. It especially stood out to me with the custom to tell people what time they need to leave, because it's not always the easiest for me and other neurodivergent people to pick up on certain social cues and "beating around the bush" phrases. I'd much rather people be direct!!
I can totally see that 😊 And even here, there are gradations in how direct people are. I have much of the Dutch directness in me, but some other people here are even much more direct than I am. 😅
Meanwhile, I’m AuDHD and sitting here thinking, “oh my gosh planning ahead, remembering birthdays, and being organized? This is my nightmare!” So interesting how differently we both view this :)
I am not only half way through and want to ask “ So how do we move over there? 😂😂” I have been to Amsterdam three times and love it each time. The intense competition for places in school or sports teams in the USA feels so toxic sometimes. I prefer your way of life as living with health and happiness is so important. Really enjoying this cultural education. Thank you ❤
Have you paid attention to the fact that an anti-immigration Party is now in power? Did you know there are riots right now in the street there against immigrants of all types? Their deputy finance minister got called racist names AT A CABINET MEETING. It went so far he resigned. I assume you are some variety of White because most Americans are, but you may not be able to pass. Good luck.
There are stories in my family that say an older female relative who was adopted into the family( but who is genetically linked to my branch) has roots in the Dutch people) I have never heard of "sixes culture". But it sounds like something she always said, "good enough is always good enough."😂 If I had the smallest hope that I could ever learn to speak Dutch... I'd be there with a quickness.❤
I have a friend that was at one time a romantic partner, from Netherlands. Only if we married or if I had a skill that could benefit the country that added something they didn't already have. Otherwise as I understand it, there isn't chance of immigrating. If that sounds intense, consider the fact there is One forest....one, protected such that legally one cannot remove a stick or flower & there is no paper book published....( Closest publisher of physical books is Germany at least it was like this when I visited).
I have a Portuguese friend that married a Dutch and I remember very well how she was impressed with the culture of saving money by doing it yourself. You did not really mentioned this on your video, but my friend said the first time she had a problem with her bike and wanted to pay someone to repair it, her husband was shocked because everyone knows how to repair a bike and to pay for it would be ridiculous. Also, when my friend wanted to repaint their house and was looking for a professional painter, her husband told her they could just gather some friends to do it, and they did! The idea, she told me, is that spending money on something you can do yourself is a waste. This made me think because it questions our habits and it does save us money! 😊
Ah yes that is such a good point! Thanks for sharing it. Most people here prefer to do things ourselves if we can. I think of the older generations, many people know how to repare a bike. But maybe not so much for the younger generations hahaha. I wouldn't know how to. But we did paint our apartment ourselves 😊
I’m a third generation Dutch Canadian. I love your videos about Dutch culture because it’s interesting to discover which parts of Dutch culture my oma and opa maintained when they immigrated. One of my opa’s frequent sayings was “keep it simple.” I’m very grateful for the parts of Dutch culture they passed on to me!
Fellow here Canadian, though not of Dutch decent. I think Canadians have retained a lot of the various European cultures, without necessarily realizing it. Recently I was watching a video about Christmas in the UK, and I realized how many things we do, we actually do because we were a British colony. I had no idea, and found it really interesting!
I vividly remember being punished by my mother for bad grades. I was young and my parents were in a high conflict divorce but the failing grades were my fault. I learned very quickly that if you weren't at the top of the class you weren't a worthwhile human. I now have a BA, MA and LLB. I spent 11 years in University, I have a great career but I routinely struggle against a fear of failure which is endlessly stressful.
i resonate w you about mother / high conflict in household + internalizing similar beliefs ❤ thank you for sharing + i hope your awareness helps that fear to lessen / hope you can find more ease
Ouch that’s painful. So sorry. I think many of us have these stories…This happens far too often in North America. I can’t imagine what some Asian high achieving homes are like to survive in.
I was pushed to excel because I was very bright. Anything less than an A grade was not good enough. I took on the notion that I was obligated to excel and make some great contribution. I never have done, and I still have to remind myself that that's OK. It has definitely affected my whole life.
All of this. I lettered in track - but had to quit the team when I got 5 As and a B because clearly it was affecting my grades. It took me four decades to realize how perfectionism and the need to always excel was keeping me from having a life. But I *did manage to shift my priorities - I still take pride in excelling but not for 70-90 hours a week. I hope you find the balances that serves *you* rather than someone else's unreasonable demands.
I wish I’d known about this before I did my masters! I was so focused on getting the top grade I put myself through a huge amount of stress and then missed out by a couple of percent 😢 I could have been enjoying myself!
yes, as an american who, now in my older, slower-thinking age, is learning to relax and be ok with less than self imposed perfection, this video turned on a light bulb over my head. aiming for being 'average' is such a naturally repulsive idea here, but the light bulb moment for me is really considering what the word 'average' means. it means where most people are, with below and above average being where most are NOT. so it's by definition perfectly fine and good to be where most people are on the scale of achievement!
Mind you: even a six may take a lot of effort. 7 is a good grade and 8 is often the type of grades only top students get. But grades also vary among studies and levels.
I'm English and my mother was always 6 😅 but she's funny and relaxed. She's a registered accountant and never required us to go above average. My father is an overachiever and always lectured about our marks. He's high strung and stressed out. I trust my mother as an accountant more than my father as a chemist. She's not in hurry, remembers she's human and does things right the first time.
As an American from the US, I really liked this entire video. With the new year coming, it is a great reminder to look at things in a healthier and different light!
I love the idea of telling people “hey it’s time for you to leave” in blank terms! No one has hurt feelings and it’s just accepted and expected! I live in America (Midwest) and I hate the “long Midwest goodbye” that we do. It’s like the host wants the guest to leave and somehow we keep talking and cycling through goodbyes and then someone says something and it sparks more conversations and it can last for half an hour and it’s frustrating! It feels more calming for me to have the clear defined lines that the Dutch have and I just love it!!
hi vera! love this video. letting go and accepting “good is good enough” is a relief. i also resonated a lot with the aspects of frugality, practicality, and straightfowardness. it’s wonderful and comforting to know that there is a culture out there where how i am is the norm! thank you from california!
I actually think I might be Dutch without knowing it😂! I’m Portuguese and in Portugal people are very nice and welcoming, but completely the opposite of everything you listed, so my planning ahead, telling people it’s time to leave my house, save money, buy secondhand, etc, are seen as weird things. I wasn’t shocked by anything you said, because I do most (if not all) of those things. I’ve been to many countries, but I never visited the Netherlands and I’m sure I’d love to from what I’ve been listening from you 💙❤️💛🩶🩷💚🩵💜🤎🧡♥️
I'm in America, and was just recently invited over to a neighbor's for dessert. When the gathering had gone on for about 3 hours, the hostess said, "Well, this has really been nice." and started to get up and pick up a couple dishes. This was a very gentle hint that the evening was over, and I thought it was quite gracious. I will be using that method in the future if I have guests and feel that it's time to wrap up the visit!
In France we wouldn't just go and say well... it's time you leave but we would throw subtle hints like getting up and taking the dishes away, yawning, saying stuff like "wow, we'll all be tired going to bed so late..." and because we know how it works most of the time people will get up, help with the dishes and will be on their way... from time to time you have one person who ignores the subtle hints and then you get a lot less subtle 😂😂
Dutch culture sounds like a haven for autistic people (wanting things to be straightforward, taken care of, and not having any conception of social status)...now I want to visit, haha. Being able to tell people when to leave sound heavenly...one of the reason I never have people over is because I'm never sure when they'll leave or how to signal them to leave. I'd actually have people over more if I could tell them when to leave. I think I'll start doing that in the future, thank you!
The idea of not putting too much pressure on students and not worrying too much about school grades is very healthy and refreshing. I was more like you though, always striving for high marks, but I had a good reason. Coming from a low income family (and underdeveloped area in general) I always knew that I needed scholarships, and good grades helped with that. Even if here (Italy) college is cheap compared to other countries I could basically study for free with scholarships and such. Even in highschool I managed to get a little money for my school results. I regret it a bit now though and think that I could have taken it a bit easier sometimes.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts! Yes those are definitely very interesting points. It really is very different, the kind of pressure students face in school, depending on how the education system works and the impact that grades can have on education, finances, job prospects and the like.
The best I believe is to view oneself as carrying out whatever task one is engaged in, to the best of one's ability; this as a reasonable sacrifice/service to God, towards glorifying Him as our Creator. He had given each one of us talents to work with; precious gifts of which we will one day give account of how we had used them. In this light, also keeping in mind; while on this journey of performing to the best of one's ability; to rather be in competition with oneself, while refraining from comparing oneself to others.
As an American, you are totally right about often times we prioritize “ our status and our output”. I’ve never heard it put like that, thank you for sharing about sixes culture!
You're very welcome! I was a little worried about getting anything wrong about that, so I'm glad to hear that resonated with you. :) Take care and have a great day!
@@SimpleHappyZen you described us perfectly. as a born and raised american, i have always bristled up at our seemingly mandatory custom of asking people we met moments ago "so what do you do?". to me it's just a way of asking a stranger how much money and therefore status and deference they must be accorded. the conversation immediately diverges depending on if they answer "i'm a thoracic surgeon" or "i'm an uber driver", and you get to know absolutely nothing about the actual person. years ago, i took to answering that question by responding "oh, i hike and camp and bake- what do YOU do?".
I married a child of Dutch immigrants. I have always found them friendly and welcoming. Many aspects which you talk about become stereotypes and we laugh about them but many things are also the way I was raised from farming parents. And I find most Dutch people are very hard working and entrepreneurial. I think the balance in life displayed are good traits. We can learn a lot about honest expectations, balanced leaving in our North American world. I also find people of Dutch heritage are very caring to those around them and help others out. Usually they are very giving but do not need to be in the limelight with there deeds.
Vera, thank you so much. Your mail made me cry, it's so good to understand that good enough is better than perfect and that we deserve to be happy ❤ greetings from Mexico
I so admire Corrie Ten Boom. She was Dutch. What a warrior. So modest, ordinary & wholesome. I would love some day to visit Holland.❤ Windmills, Tulips & Bicycles.
Those windmills used to be quite practical. The miller would live there with his family and grind your grain for you. In several cases, those windmills would also pump water out of a low lying area, which is how the Dutch created the Netherlands. But in all cases, a traditional windmill would do double duty as a living space and workspace. Today, only some windmills still have people living in them, usually because the owners love living in such a historical monument.
Part of my family are Dutch - but came to North America in the 1600s. It's interesting to hear of Dutch characteristics because they are recognizeable in many in my family to this day. Thanks for the insight.
@jrsidebo it probably would depend on the area where your ancestors landed. You see, there were two types of people who made a dangerous journey to reach the new world. Two main areas spring to mind, where the Mayflower landed and the other one where the Dutch landed, Manhattan. Two, very, very, very different schools of thought. 😂
One side of my family is also Dutch. they settled in New Amsterdam in the 1600s. Definitely the thriftiness, unimportance of owning fancy material things, and even bringing our own cake!
I learned that the birthday celebrant provides cake/treats and gifts for those celebrating with us when I lived in Germany. I brought my own cake to work since then and it is foreign to my American coworkers, but it totally makes sense to me…and I love to bring a different perspective to my fellow Americans. Thank you for sharing about your culture. Your explanation on school grades was enlightening. I lived in Amsterdam for about 6 months, I was unaware of this, even though my son went to school there.
I love this. I live in Germany, close to the Netherlands, and I have been there a lot for vacations. I find many of the mentioned points very beautiful, but I also enjoy planning a lot, so maybe I would fit in quite well there 😂
I can't even imagine how different my childhood, teenage years, early adulthood could have been if I wasn't so focused on school and grades!! That's time you don't get back. (commenting from Canada)
I just got a warm and fuzzy feeling watching this video. I am Australian born Dutch descent and I remember that my mother and Aunty both had a lot of these tendencies. One that made me giggle was the Birthday Calendar on the back of the bathroom door. We definitely had one of those 😂 They were also very honest and direct but never impolite 😊
I’m Brazilian and lived for one and half year in the Netherlands and I can say that I’ve learned so much with the Dutch culture that I am not the same anymore. The Dutch way of living is something that I am trying do implement in my life even having returned to Brazil, a country where society tries to imitate the American society.
I am Dutch and I can confirm most of this video! Very nice description of our amazing culture. For me, I only kinda disagree with the planning everything in advance, but I think I am the exception there. I usually don't have issues changing my dinner plans if people want to stay for dinner, but then I kinda expect them to help out and prepare some food together. When people ask if I have time for them to visit I usually have nothing planned yet, they are always welcome. I think this is a more common thing in the South of the country. (From your 'accent' it sounds like you are not from the South... correct me if I am wrong here...) We always had our back door open when I was growing up. Friends and family just came over with their bikes, park the bikes in the garden and just walked in to ask if we had some coffee and cookies for them... In the cities I guess you can't just leave your door open, so there stuff needs to be planned properly! We did however 'kick them out' when it was time to go, it just didn't happen that often... 😊
Canadian of Dutch ancestry here. Your videos bring back memories of my parents' culture, the culture of my childhood in a Canadian community of Dutch immigrants. Love the practicality of Dutch culture. The flessen likker evoked a memory of visiting the Netherlands as a youth. At a family gathering of uncles, aunts, and cousins the ladies were enjoying advocaat. By the time the bottle was empty, they were feeling rather jocular as they extracted the last bit of creamy goodness from the bottle with a flessen likker. Seems recent, but more than 50 years ago.
I'm Italian and many things you said also apply to my culture...apart from the hospitality bit, if you're at someone's house and it is dinner time, they will for sure invite you to join them for the meal, it would be considered extremely rude to ask your guest to leave because you have to eat 🙂
Same in Greece, I now live in the UK and I’m labelled as a “ feeder “ as within minutes of someone coming in my home, no matter what the time, I always offer them something to eat and drink, and that includes handy men too that come to work at my house haha
How refreshing! Low-key is the way to go with most things...in my opinion. Dutch culture seems to have priorities in order. I also get the impression that Dutch people are known for cleanliness. My experience, with my grandmother, who was born and raised in The Netherlands, was a perfect example of this.
I'm an English person seeing your video for the first time and really appreciating your practical, sensible approach to life in general. How refreshing! We have a mix of cultural backgrounds throughout the UK, some of which is the "keeping up with the Joneses" - showing off material things to be on the same level as well-off people, those who are thrifty because they need to be or because they enjoy it and everything in between. Personally I like to approach life in a practical and thrifty way. I did like the Sixes approach to education and I will pass that on to my 16 year old granddaughter who has a tendancy to be a perfectionist and get the highest grades possible. Thanks for sharing.
Thanks for sharing some of your culture with us Vera. I love the fact that there is less judgement about how people share relationships and whether or not they have children. I might be a little bit taken aback by being asked to leave but I totally get that this is more practical. My grandmother has Dutch roots and i can see her in many of the things you mentioned.
Re. marriage in the USA, I think the official statistics are misleading. The "average" wedding cost figures come from fancy wedding magazines, which get their income by advertising expensive options. The people who read these magazines and answer their surveys are the ones who sirens a lot of money, but most people her don't spend that much. My two daughters spent under $10,000 each, and had nice weddings. Also, you can just go to the county office here and get married in a very similar way to what you did. It's still called a wedding, not a registered partnership, but it's quick and very inexpensive.
Hi Melinda! Very interesting. ☺️ Yes maybe the 'mean' would've been more accurate than the 'average' in this case. Averages tend to be influenced by extreme outliers.
This is so interesting to hear how other countries and cultures do things. I live in the U.S. and I could never operate under the “sixes” method as we have been taught to always do our best in everything we do.
I've always pushed myself to do as well as possible, but it took a heavy toll on my physical and mental health. The high bar I set also set me up for high levels of stress, robbed me of sleep, and deprived me of opportunities for enjoying life. I lost out on the joy of living! Looking back, was it really worth it? I excelled in my studies and employment, but now that I'm retired, it's really coming home to me just what the cost has been.
As a dutchy i think sixes culture is not accurate, six is barely enough. Solid B culture would be more fitting, that's a comfortable safe score. Solid A's take to much away from other goals beside education and career. I guess the Dutch have the same goal, being the best at all things we do. We just see 'things we do' as broader than work and assets. Giving 120% to work and career leaves no time for family, relaxation and enjoying the small things in life. Since we value these things just as high or even higher we make sure to set aside time and energy for those parts of life too. I'll take 'work to live' over 'the cat's in the cradle' any day. That said: would love to visit America for the 'big nature'. The Netherlands doesn't really have that.
@@SuzanneU 'The cat's in the cradle' comes to mind... Sorry to hear you had to pay a price higher than you realised for the succes you earned. Hope you'll have a lovely retirement to make up for some of the sacrifices you made. Wish you many 'heerlijk dagje niksen' (lovely days to do nothing special at all) Don't plan ahead, just do what feels right for that moment. Can be anything, from not setting an alarm to wake up, taking all the time your cat wants to be cuddled, read a book front to cover in a day, photographing the most beautyfull flowers in the garden, or just taking the time to really see them and the little buggies that live on them. Maybe do some yoga, take a walk or just lay in the sun for a while. Anything goes, as long as it's what jogs your interest. Anyway, hope you'll have a beautyfull life and a great day to start with.
Thank you Vera for this video! Life seems so simple in your country! I 'd like to be able to tell people " well, time for you to leave now" 😅 but that is not conceivable in France. My mum used to do so, but she was known to be too direct and made people laugh at her! Good to you! 😉
I live in Australia, and i still after being here for 44 years don't like people just dropping by unannounced, Australians have a habit of doing that, and that means I have to stop doing what I have planned for the day...
Fascinating! As an American teacher, I am trying to wrap my mind around sixes culture. It is one thing for the students and parents to be satisfied with barely passing, but what about the teachers? If most of my students were barely passing, I would feel like I was a terrible teacher. I would love to hear from a Dutch teacher to gain better understanding about how they view their role as a teacher.
Maybe it is bc it is long ago i was at school but i do not recognize at all what she tells about sixes culture. About 15 yrs ago their was this politician (JP Balkenende) who was annoyed by the attitude of the Dutch and introduced the word sixes culture and told us to go back to the time of the VOC when The NL were a big country. He was met with a lot of criticism, not only bc of his reference to colonialism. It is contradictory with the image that exists of the Nordic countries in Europe being industrious and that being the reason for being successful, they say it is due to the religion: being lazy gives the Devil chances.
I am a teacher here in the Netherlands. Of course we want our students to get good grades. But we also look at the potential every student has. For some a 6 feels like a 10, because the subject is hard for them to master. And the most important thing is that our students are happy. There is more to life than just good grades. We look at the individual and the potential of that individual but also at what makes them happy in life. But if a student is underperforming we are going to talk about it with the student and the parents. The main goal in such a conversation is to get to understand why this student is underperforming. Because there can be many reasons. And eventually we are trying to become a team with the parents and, most important, with the student his/herself. In college it is different though. The student is responsible for it's own grades and development. And I think this is where the sixes culture is more common.
I am amazed at how similar our cultures are. I am from Argentina and many of the points you talked about are quite similar here. Of course, not everything because we are a latin culture where people come to your house whenever they like and also leave whenever they like. Many bring food but some don't. But anyway, I feel very Dutch myself as I think and feel very much like you. It is a great video with information most people that can't travel would never know. Thanks!✨
Hahhaha sorry, I really laughed at the 'telling people when to leave'. Being a Dutchie myself, it's just a trio down memory lane haha I even did it at my own birthday party a couple of times 😅 Great video and totally on point 😊
The dominant societal culture in the ‘U.S. is a monstrosity of unhealthy, unneeded pressures, & so called values that lack heart, & positive, sustainable intention.
I love knowing ahead of time about visitors, usually I like to invite. I have a couple of close neighbor friends who are exempt, but they're just checking that I'm okay usually.
I think I need to move to Holland! Especially love the hospitality thing - I really hate unexpected visits, although I have had one exception to this, and I really dislike mealtimes being interrupted. My family were the worst for this. The more relaxed approach to grades sounds great too.
I'm in West Michigan, an area where many Dutch, including my maternal ancestors immigrated to in the early 1900's. Since my ancestry is mostly Dutch, I feel very validated by this! I thought much of how I was raised was due to my parents being raised during the Depression. However, I see that the Dutch influence was also very present. It's very refreshing to hear this against the backdrop of American consumerism! Thank you! m.
That was so interesting, thank you for sharing. I wish here in North America. There wasn’t so much emphasis on what you do for a living, the car you drive, or the house you live in.
Hello Vera, I loved this video and agree with all of the ways of being honest with guests! As I grow older, I have specifically outlined to my friends that they need to ask me ahead of time - no drop ins. And asking them to leave is not hard for me! I just stand up and say thanks for the visit we will have to do this again and I get their coat! I love the birthday cake idea and also the grading for schools. There is too much competition in schools and this detracts from the children finding their own personalities and interests! Wonderful! Thanks so much for sharing! You are amazing! Love from Laara in Canada
1. Your comment about half-assing reminds me of "The Lazy Genius Way" by Kendra Adachi - "How to be a genius about the things that matter and lazy about the things that don't." Game changer for someone who was severely punished if she brought home a "C" grade (That would be a 7 to you, Vera). 2. I LOVE the idea of bringing your own cake! At my job, the boss buys individual "bundtlet" cakes for everyone when there's a birthday. He checks what flavor each person wants and we each get a cake with a candle in the birthday person's cake. 3. As a trained wedding planner, American wedding culture is ridiculous, which is why I didn't follow through on that career. 😂 4. I absolutely ABHOR when people drop by unannounced. I don't even like it when people call without texting first to see if I have time to talk! So I very much like this idea. 5. My coworkers and I are constantly venmoing each other money for hitting up the convenience store next door. "I'm going next door. Anybody want anything?" "Yes, let me Venmo you." 😄
Happy Weekend, Vera😊 Although I’m American, I think I’m Dutch at heart because I already incorporate these principles❤️ I find it to be such a balanced and peaceful way of living. I’ve never heard of the sixes principle before, but that seems like such a wonderful concept. Here in the USA, it’s really difficult for children to grow up surrounded by social media influences and then adding the stress of getting top grades as well. It’s no wonder that their mental health is suffering. My children are both in university now and I always strived to never put pressure on them about their grades. I’ve just always wanted them to be happy and not take things too seriously. Anyway, I’m done rambling haha. Enjoy the rest of your weekend😊
Hoi! First generation Dutch/Aussie, married to an Irish man here. We moved from Amsterdam(4 years) & Berlin(8 years) to the USA, obviously we have a very mixed home, but it’s undeniable that I have incorporate a lot of Dutch culture in our little family, in fact, just this weekend, I did the tidy up “that was lovely, let’s do it again” to move guests on. I’m still trying/helping my husband to see that good enough really is fine and healthy. I grew up with a very combined culture and a combination Christmas. I always add many Dutch elements to our Christmas celebration; we had to compromise, but we have a small celebration on the 24th too. Speaking of Christmas, the other cute one I do for us, (and it’s happening this Friday), is Sinterklaas ❤, I always put a treat in his shoes.
This was a great video! Thank you for sharing such wonderful aspects of your culture. I am feeling I might be part Dutch as I think they are all great principles to live by! 😊 Especially letting someone know when it is time to go home or when you’ve had enough of a visit or phone call, even if you’ve been enjoying yourself the whole time. I struggle with that in particular - I think many Canadians do! I did a bike trip last year (your bike culture is AMAZING) and I have to say I fell a bit in love with The Netherlands and its people! This video highlights those aspects that I found appealing.
Dear Vera I just loved this video and info. Living in South Africa with the surname of Oosthuizen, I realised my roots are definitely Dutch as I could relate with all 5 facts, however not always easy to implement it here due to all the different cultures. Maybe I must immigrate to the Netherlands 😊
Loved this video. I grew up in New Zealand and the unannounced drop in culture was very popular,and when we moved to Australia it’s different, you book in advance, and I love it. And I had the 6 mentality at school,although it was popular with my parents or the teachers. Good and finished was enough. Think I should have lived in the Netherlands.❤️❤️❤️
Thanks for sharing your thoughts Joanne, glad you enjoyed the video! Funny to see how there's a difference between Australia and New Zealand when it comes to dropping by unannounced. :)
I love your videos so much! Minimalism in almost each aspect of my life helped me become more mindful and I can't thank you enough for your incredible content! ❤
I would so love to visit the Netherlands. I think I’m a Dutch woman living in an American’s body. I do have Dutch ancestry on my mother’s father’s side. Here we have talks like a Dutch uncle (someone giving you good, sound advice) and going Dutch when you go out but will each pay your own way. I love this video. Thank you so much! ❤ Shirley
I’m a Ukrainian living in the US. After watching this video I feel like I’m Dutch))) I do not use a bottle scraper but I make sure I use everything. Not because I don’t have money to buy another bottle, but because I do not understand why whatever is left inside should be thrown away. And so I can’t help but notice small signs of American consumerism. For example., instead of taking care of some home item (say a rug or smth like that) people would buy a new one… And the amount of paper spam mail just terrifies, knowing how many trees these would be… With birthdays we go the same way as you - it’s on us. As for having guests: I personally don’t invite people. Or if I do, this is always a very thought through decision (I have to know that everything is arranged and will be according to my standards of hospitality). Instead, I would just invite someone to go out together and would pay for that, or we will agree to split the expenses. And this has nothing to do with hospitality culture. I like everything to be clean and in order, and with guests being more “frivolous” I just can’t stand this frivolousness in my home))) For ex, very few people realize that they lose hair (in the tab, when using a hair dryer). Last time I had a friend visiting for a week; and she came to the kitchen to keep talking to me and she brought the hair dryer and dried her hair - I almost got a heart attack))) I saw every single hair flying around))) (and cleaned it the next second my friend was out of the kitchen). Eventually I had to ask her to do this in the bathroom only (because I can easily go there after she’s out and wipe the floor), but I felt bad doing that. To me this is smth that has to go without saying, and I hate to explain such things to people. And feeling restrained in my own home is nonsense. So that is why my hospitality is taking people out)) On a side note, I do make a great guest though))) Many people told me they like hosting me, bc I clean their kitchens/bathrooms 😂😂🤦♀️🤦♀️
Hi, l respect your culture of course. The sixes thing is really good,l think that is an amazing way to relieve the huge pressure that many students are put under here in England. The other hospitality things l personally would struggle with. Only because that's the way l have been raised. Love the video. X
In the US whether your birthday gets celebrated at work really depends on the workplace. One place I was at had the person who just had a birthday do the next person's bday. The last place I was at got a cake with everyone's name on it who had a bday that month, so just one cake that month. My current place doesn't do anything.
Oh that's interesting!! I have to admit, when I think of American office birthdays, my mind immediately goes to the birthday celebrations in 'The Office' hahaha.
My husband is third generation Dutch. The way things are in the Netherlands are very different from the Holland settlement that my husband's family was raised in. They are very much still Calvinists, still frugal for the most part. Much more conservative than the Netherlands. You call them straightforward, my husband calls his relatives "blunt."
I'm Canadian and I love hearing about the straightforward, clear communication. I'm embracing that in my life right now and it can still be done in a kind way. Also, we had a small wedding, 25 guests, and spent about $6000. It was definitely the exception to the rule. Everyone asks us if we got married during COVID...which would have been easier as a reason. I know some family members were bummed to not be invited, but we have no regrets for doing it our way.
I really enjoyed this video. It’s so interesting learning about different cultures. Most of the time I feel out of place living in the US. I wish things were more like that here.
I am from Germany, and with b-days it is the same - the birthday persons brings the cake and arranges a party if they want to, and surprise partys don't happen. :) When the b-day calender is in the toilet room, it is made sure that ereyone in the house notices them! Talking about hospitality, I would love to have it over here like you Dutchies do it. I would like to tell a guest politely that they have to leave because it is late and I am tired or need my me-time now (you know that thing being a hsp and get a social hangover...). I tried Wild a while ago btw, and I love it. :)
I am an American of Dutch heritage who enjoyed living in the Netherlands for many years. I enjoy your videos. Your information is informative about my family and my instinctual habits. Thank you.
In Ukraine getting 6 out of 10 would be considered 'below average' and for many families the kids would be expected to get like 8 at least. And the grades in school are a serious thing for majority. This is very funny because out of this we have adults who are very worried about their performance at work, agree with overtimes easily, try to outperform to stand out. After moving and starting to work in the office here all dutchies seemd to me very slow and irresponsible (not really worried about the quality of work they do, forgetting things a lot, failing deadlines). But now I get it. They are just more chill about work and cherish their work life balance. I find it fascinating how hard it is for me to adjust to it as an adult. But I try my best 😂
Same in France, it's the person celebrating their birthday who brings cakes, sweets and nowadays fruits to school or to work. It didn't c4oss my mind it coule be the other way around actually 😂
In the USA, kids do bring in treats to school on their birthdays (if it's allowed.) But most jobs I've had, people's birthdays are not usually celebrated at all.
I've found that with birthdays in the office it really depends. First on the culture in that particular company, and for example in my current job with around 150 in the whole department, some people don't do anything for their birthday, some only for their own team or subteam and some few will have treats for everyone who's in the office on that particular day. But yes the treats will range from fancy vlaais to homebaked to stroopwafels. And it's all fine whatever someone chooses to do. Although with the AVG privacy laws, the office birthday calendar is very much a thing of the past, at least in our office.
Oh that's interesting about the privacy laws.... And yes, I guess it would depend on company culture as well :) This comment gave me a craving for vlaai and stroopwafels hahaha
I could totally becoming a Dutch person, haha. Love the simple and chill ways you go about living your lives and more of that needs to rub off on people in North America! I am working on becoming a minimalist but it's hard when you're dealing with people around you who don't get it.
I’m American and a recent Ancestry test said I had Dutch ancestry, which I didn’t really believe until watching this video. I love planning, have no problem telling people when to leave and was definitely raised to be thrifty and never wasteful. The only part I didn’t really relate to was the 6’s, but it seems much healthier than the emphasis on achieving, in even unimportant areas, that we have here.
I grew up in US with being taught if you I’d strive to make 100% on tests, it meant you would not be welcome in careers that expected 100% performance such as being a surgeon, dentist, pilot….no one wants a pilot that only lands a plane correctly 60% of the time.
As an English person, my experience of Dutch people ties in with this - they come across as relaxed and practical, and straight to the point about things. On the subject of hospitality Vera, I think you underestimate your fellow Dutchys (Dutchies?). I have stayed at many campsites around The Netherlands, and have lost count of the number of times the campsite owner has invited us to join them for coffee, and sometimes a cake or biscuit, upon our arrival. They're always very welcoming. One time my family was touring part of The Netherlands by bicycle, and my mother injured her knee, which really slowed our pace. A lady on an e-bike caught up to us and noticed our difficulties, and offered us to camp in her nearby garden! After we pitched our tent, she brought us oranges, showed us where they had a WC & washroom in the corner of their barn, and left us to it, with suggestions on where to seek medical attention the following day if that became necessary. We couldn't have been more grateful. Honestly, Dutch people are the best!
Oh what a lovely story! Glad to hear you had such a great experience here :)
People who are kind to travelers are the best. It's even in the Bible, I believe.
As someone who is possibly neurodivergent, these Dutch ways of life seem so refreshing with the upfront and structured nature they tend to have. It especially stood out to me with the custom to tell people what time they need to leave, because it's not always the easiest for me and other neurodivergent people to pick up on certain social cues and "beating around the bush" phrases. I'd much rather people be direct!!
i feel you so much
I can totally see that 😊 And even here, there are gradations in how direct people are. I have much of the Dutch directness in me, but some other people here are even much more direct than I am. 😅
Meanwhile, I’m AuDHD and sitting here thinking, “oh my gosh planning ahead, remembering birthdays, and being organized? This is my nightmare!”
So interesting how differently we both view this :)
I am not only half way through and want to ask “ So how do we move over there? 😂😂” I have been to Amsterdam three times and love it each time. The intense competition for places in school or sports teams in the USA feels so toxic sometimes. I prefer your way of life as living with health and happiness is so important. Really enjoying this cultural education. Thank you ❤
Have you paid attention to the fact that an anti-immigration Party is now in power? Did you know there are riots right now in the street there against immigrants of all types? Their deputy finance minister got called racist names AT A CABINET MEETING. It went so far he resigned. I assume you are some variety of White because most Americans are, but you may not be able to pass. Good luck.
There are stories in my family that say an older female relative who was adopted into the family( but who is genetically linked to my branch) has roots in the Dutch people) I have never heard of "sixes culture". But it sounds like something she always said, "good enough is always good enough."😂 If I had the smallest hope that I could ever learn to speak Dutch... I'd be there with a quickness.❤
I have a friend that was at one time a romantic partner, from Netherlands. Only if we married or if I had a skill that could benefit the country that added something they didn't already have. Otherwise as I understand it, there isn't chance of immigrating. If that sounds intense, consider the fact there is One forest....one, protected such that legally one cannot remove a stick or flower & there is no paper book published....( Closest publisher of physical books is Germany at least it was like this when I visited).
Maybe look up "Dutch American Friendship Treaty" :)
I have a Portuguese friend that married a Dutch and I remember very well how she was impressed with the culture of saving money by doing it yourself. You did not really mentioned this on your video, but my friend said the first time she had a problem with her bike and wanted to pay someone to repair it, her husband was shocked because everyone knows how to repair a bike and to pay for it would be ridiculous. Also, when my friend wanted to repaint their house and was looking for a professional painter, her husband told her they could just gather some friends to do it, and they did! The idea, she told me, is that spending money on something you can do yourself is a waste. This made me think because it questions our habits and it does save us money! 😊
Ah yes that is such a good point! Thanks for sharing it. Most people here prefer to do things ourselves if we can. I think of the older generations, many people know how to repare a bike. But maybe not so much for the younger generations hahaha. I wouldn't know how to. But we did paint our apartment ourselves 😊
I’m a third generation Dutch Canadian. I love your videos about Dutch culture because it’s interesting to discover which parts of Dutch culture my oma and opa maintained when they immigrated. One of my opa’s frequent sayings was “keep it simple.” I’m very grateful for the parts of Dutch culture they passed on to me!
Fellow here Canadian, though not of Dutch decent. I think Canadians have retained a lot of the various European cultures, without necessarily realizing it. Recently I was watching a video about Christmas in the UK, and I realized how many things we do, we actually do because we were a British colony. I had no idea, and found it really interesting!
I vividly remember being punished by my mother for bad grades. I was young and my parents were in a high conflict divorce but the failing grades were my fault. I learned very quickly that if you weren't at the top of the class you weren't a worthwhile human. I now have a BA, MA and LLB. I spent 11 years in University, I have a great career but I routinely struggle against a fear of failure which is endlessly stressful.
i resonate w you about mother / high conflict in household + internalizing similar beliefs ❤ thank you for sharing + i hope your awareness helps that fear to lessen / hope you can find more ease
You've accomplished a lot and I hope you can work towards enjoying life more and liking who you are (traits, not just milestones).🎉
Ouch that’s painful. So sorry. I think many of us have these stories…This happens far too often in North America. I can’t imagine what some Asian high achieving homes are like to survive in.
I was pushed to excel because I was very bright. Anything less than an A grade was not good enough. I took on the notion that I was obligated to excel and make some great contribution. I never have done, and I still have to remind myself that that's OK. It has definitely affected my whole life.
All of this. I lettered in track - but had to quit the team when I got 5 As and a B because clearly it was affecting my grades. It took me four decades to realize how perfectionism and the need to always excel was keeping me from having a life. But I *did manage to shift my priorities - I still take pride in excelling but not for 70-90 hours a week. I hope you find the balances that serves *you* rather than someone else's unreasonable demands.
The "sixes" ethos is making me feel better about going back to finish my masters. Love Dutch culture, thanks for these vids!!
So happy you enjoyed it! Good luck with finishing your masters! 🤗🌳
I wish I’d known about this before I did my masters! I was so focused on getting the top grade I put myself through a huge amount of stress and then missed out by a couple of percent 😢 I could have been enjoying myself!
yes, as an american who, now in my older, slower-thinking age, is learning to relax and be ok with less than self imposed perfection, this video turned on a light bulb over my head.
aiming for being 'average' is such a naturally repulsive idea here, but the light bulb moment for me is really considering what the word 'average' means. it means where most people are, with below and above average being where most are NOT.
so it's by definition perfectly fine and good to be where most people are on the scale of achievement!
Mind you: even a six may take a lot of effort. 7 is a good grade and 8 is often the type of grades only top students get. But grades also vary among studies and levels.
I'm English and my mother was always 6 😅 but she's funny and relaxed. She's a registered accountant and never required us to go above average. My father is an overachiever and always lectured about our marks. He's high strung and stressed out. I trust my mother as an accountant more than my father as a chemist. She's not in hurry, remembers she's human and does things right the first time.
I admire this culture. Many people choose minimalism to simplify their lives. And you already have this well defined.
Thank you! 😊🌷 Have a wonderful day!
As an American from the US, I really liked this entire video. With the new year coming, it is a great reminder to look at things in a healthier and different light!
So happy to hear you enjoyed the video! 🤗🌱
In Australia the saying is "C gets degrees' - C=credit
I love the idea of telling people “hey it’s time for you to leave” in blank terms! No one has hurt feelings and it’s just accepted and expected!
I live in America (Midwest) and I hate the “long Midwest goodbye” that we do. It’s like the host wants the guest to leave and somehow we keep talking and cycling through goodbyes and then someone says something and it sparks more conversations and it can last for half an hour and it’s frustrating!
It feels more calming for me to have the clear defined lines that the Dutch have and I just love it!!
hi vera! love this video. letting go and accepting “good is good enough” is a relief. i also resonated a lot with the aspects of frugality, practicality, and straightfowardness. it’s wonderful and comforting to know that there is a culture out there where how i am is the norm! thank you from california!
Living life is crucial, but living it in your own unique way is even more significant.
Well said! 🤗
I actually think I might be Dutch without knowing it😂! I’m Portuguese and in Portugal people are very nice and welcoming, but completely the opposite of everything you listed, so my planning ahead, telling people it’s time to leave my house, save money, buy secondhand, etc, are seen as weird things. I wasn’t shocked by anything you said, because I do most (if not all) of those things. I’ve been to many countries, but I never visited the Netherlands and I’m sure I’d love to from what I’ve been listening from you 💙❤️💛🩶🩷💚🩵💜🤎🧡♥️
Thank you for sharing your thoughts, very interesting! Hope you'll get to visit the Netherlands one day :) Take care and have a wonderful day!
I love the whole idea about being clear and letting someone know when it’s time for them to go. I love it.
I'm in America, and was just recently invited over to a neighbor's for dessert. When the gathering had gone on for about 3 hours, the hostess said, "Well, this has really been nice." and started to get up and pick up a couple dishes. This was a very gentle hint that the evening was over, and I thought it was quite gracious. I will be using that method in the future if I have guests and feel that it's time to wrap up the visit!
In France we wouldn't just go and say well... it's time you leave but we would throw subtle hints like getting up and taking the dishes away, yawning, saying stuff like "wow, we'll all be tired going to bed so late..." and because we know how it works most of the time people will get up, help with the dishes and will be on their way... from time to time you have one person who ignores the subtle hints and then you get a lot less subtle 😂😂
I’m also in the US and, “Well, this has been really nice,” while starting to clear the table or coffee cups is my go-to queue for guests to leave.
Yes that totally makes sense! 😊
In Italy, serving coffee is your hint that it’s time to leave.
I'm from Latvia and here is never too late to leave 🤷 To have guests is something really special.
Dutch culture sounds like a haven for autistic people (wanting things to be straightforward, taken care of, and not having any conception of social status)...now I want to visit, haha. Being able to tell people when to leave sound heavenly...one of the reason I never have people over is because I'm never sure when they'll leave or how to signal them to leave. I'd actually have people over more if I could tell them when to leave. I think I'll start doing that in the future, thank you!
The idea of not putting too much pressure on students and not worrying too much about school grades is very healthy and refreshing. I was more like you though, always striving for high marks, but I had a good reason. Coming from a low income family (and underdeveloped area in general) I always knew that I needed scholarships, and good grades helped with that. Even if here (Italy) college is cheap compared to other countries I could basically study for free with scholarships and such. Even in highschool I managed to get a little money for my school results. I regret it a bit now though and think that I could have taken it a bit easier sometimes.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts! Yes those are definitely very interesting points. It really is very different, the kind of pressure students face in school, depending on how the education system works and the impact that grades can have on education, finances, job prospects and the like.
The best I believe is to view oneself as carrying out whatever task one is engaged in, to the best of one's ability; this as a reasonable sacrifice/service to God, towards glorifying Him as our Creator. He had given each one of us talents to work with; precious gifts of which we will one day give account of how we had used them. In this light, also keeping in mind; while on this journey of performing to the best of one's ability; to rather be in competition with oneself, while refraining from comparing oneself to others.
I always got 7s and 8s
As an American, you are totally right about often times we prioritize “ our status and our output”. I’ve never heard it put like that, thank you for sharing about sixes culture!
You're very welcome! I was a little worried about getting anything wrong about that, so I'm glad to hear that resonated with you. :) Take care and have a great day!
@@SimpleHappyZen you described us perfectly. as a born and raised american, i have always bristled up at our seemingly mandatory custom of asking people we met moments ago "so what do you do?".
to me it's just a way of asking a stranger how much money and therefore status and deference they must be accorded. the conversation immediately diverges depending on if they answer "i'm a thoracic surgeon" or "i'm an uber driver", and you get to know absolutely nothing about the actual person.
years ago, i took to answering that question by responding "oh, i hike and camp and bake- what do YOU do?".
I married a child of Dutch immigrants. I have always found them friendly and welcoming. Many aspects which you talk about become stereotypes and we laugh about them but many things are also the way I was raised from farming parents. And I find most Dutch people are very hard working and entrepreneurial. I think the balance in life displayed are good traits. We can learn a lot about honest expectations, balanced leaving in our North American world. I also find people of Dutch heritage are very caring to those around them and help others out. Usually they are very giving but do not need to be in the limelight with there deeds.
Thank you so much for sharing, that was very interesting! 😊
We in the Netherlands see dinner time very much as a private family thing. Talking through the day with your spouse and your children
Vera, thank you so much. Your mail made me cry, it's so good to understand that good enough is better than perfect and that we deserve to be happy ❤ greetings from Mexico
Aw bless your heart 🌱🍵 Take it easy and take care, you deserve that!!!
I so admire Corrie Ten Boom. She was Dutch. What a warrior. So modest, ordinary & wholesome. I would love some day to visit Holland.❤ Windmills, Tulips & Bicycles.
I am a Dutchman living in Haarlem.A few months ago I visited the house of Corry in my city, which is a museum now
Very inspiring !
"The Hiding Place" is an inspiring book!
I visited the Netherlands this year. Absolutely loved the country and the people. Also, I just couldn't get over the adorable windmills❤
So happy you enjoyed your visit here!!! 🤗💕
Those windmills used to be quite practical. The miller would live there with his family and grind your grain for you. In several cases, those windmills would also pump water out of a low lying area, which is how the Dutch created the Netherlands. But in all cases, a traditional windmill would do double duty as a living space and workspace. Today, only some windmills still have people living in them, usually because the owners love living in such a historical monument.
Part of my family are Dutch - but came to North America in the 1600s. It's interesting to hear of Dutch characteristics because they are recognizeable in many in my family to this day. Thanks for the insight.
Ah cool! Interesting that these characteristics can stick around through the generations. :) Good to hear you enjoyed the video :)
@jrsidebo it probably would depend on the area where your ancestors landed. You see, there were two types of people who made a dangerous journey to reach the new world. Two main areas spring to mind, where the Mayflower landed and the other one where the Dutch landed, Manhattan. Two, very, very, very different schools of thought. 😂
One side of my family is also Dutch. they settled in New Amsterdam in the 1600s. Definitely the thriftiness, unimportance of owning fancy material things, and even bringing our own cake!
I learned that the birthday celebrant provides cake/treats and gifts for those celebrating with us when I lived in Germany.
I brought my own cake to work since then and it is foreign to my American coworkers, but it totally makes sense to me…and I love to bring a different perspective to my fellow Americans.
Thank you for sharing about your culture. Your explanation on school grades was enlightening. I lived in Amsterdam for about 6 months, I was unaware of this, even though my son went to school there.
I wonder if this is regional? At my jobs in Wisconsin the person with the birthday has always brought their own birthday treat.
I love this. I live in Germany, close to the Netherlands, and I have been there a lot for vacations. I find many of the mentioned points very beautiful, but I also enjoy planning a lot, so maybe I would fit in quite well there 😂
I can't even imagine how different my childhood, teenage years, early adulthood could have been if I wasn't so focused on school and grades!! That's time you don't get back. (commenting from Canada)
Same here from the UK! It consumed my life for those years. Pretty much from the age of 11 until 22.
I love this video. My mom has Dutch ancestry and now I understand some things.
I just got a warm and fuzzy feeling watching this video. I am Australian born Dutch descent and I remember that my mother and Aunty both had a lot of these tendencies. One that made me giggle was the Birthday Calendar on the back of the bathroom door. We definitely had one of those 😂 They were also very honest and direct but never impolite 😊
I’m Brazilian and lived for one and half year in the Netherlands and I can say that I’ve learned so much with the Dutch culture that I am not the same anymore. The Dutch way of living is something that I am trying do implement in my life even having returned to Brazil, a country where society tries to imitate the American society.
I am Dutch and I can confirm most of this video! Very nice description of our amazing culture. For me, I only kinda disagree with the planning everything in advance, but I think I am the exception there. I usually don't have issues changing my dinner plans if people want to stay for dinner, but then I kinda expect them to help out and prepare some food together. When people ask if I have time for them to visit I usually have nothing planned yet, they are always welcome. I think this is a more common thing in the South of the country. (From your 'accent' it sounds like you are not from the South... correct me if I am wrong here...) We always had our back door open when I was growing up. Friends and family just came over with their bikes, park the bikes in the garden and just walked in to ask if we had some coffee and cookies for them... In the cities I guess you can't just leave your door open, so there stuff needs to be planned properly! We did however 'kick them out' when it was time to go, it just didn't happen that often... 😊
Canadian of Dutch ancestry here. Your videos bring back memories of my parents' culture, the culture of my childhood in a Canadian community of Dutch immigrants. Love the practicality of Dutch culture. The flessen likker evoked a memory of visiting the Netherlands as a youth. At a family gathering of uncles, aunts, and cousins the ladies were enjoying advocaat. By the time the bottle was empty, they were feeling rather jocular as they extracted the last bit of creamy goodness from the bottle with a flessen likker. Seems recent, but more than 50 years ago.
Ah that's such a nice story! Advocaat is really popular here among the older generations :)
I like how these customs are so respectful to hosts. It is honest and compassionate.
I'm Italian and many things you said also apply to my culture...apart from the hospitality bit, if you're at someone's house and it is dinner time, they will for sure invite you to join them for the meal, it would be considered extremely rude to ask your guest to leave because you have to eat 🙂
Same here in Canada, but we'd also be feeling that it was rude of them to come over near a meal time.
Yes I can totally see that 😊😄 Thanks for sharing!!! Enjoy your day 🌱🍵
Same in Greece, I now live in the UK and I’m labelled as a “ feeder “ as within minutes of someone coming in my home, no matter what the time, I always offer them something to eat and drink, and that includes handy men too that come to work at my house haha
@@SimpleHappyZen thank you for pointing out other ways of doing hospitality, it's so interesting to discover our differences as Europeans 😄
I agree . I have a close friend that is Italian. She loves company and feeding everyone great food.
We always leave her home with goodies.
How refreshing! Low-key is the way to go with most things...in my opinion. Dutch culture seems to have priorities in order. I also get the impression that Dutch people are known for cleanliness. My experience, with my grandmother, who was born and raised in The Netherlands, was a perfect example of this.
So glad you enjoyed the video! Funny also about the cleanliness part :) I wouldn't really know if we value that more than some other cultures.
Hi Vera! As someone with perfectionistic tendencies like you, this entire video was a sigh of relief. Thank you so much!
You're so welcome 😊❤ Enjoy your day today!
I loved this video, so refreshing! I think I would fit in pretty well!
So happy you enjoyed the video Carmen 🤗🌱
I'm an English person seeing your video for the first time and really appreciating your practical, sensible approach to life in general. How refreshing! We have a mix of cultural backgrounds throughout the UK, some of which is the "keeping up with the Joneses" - showing off material things to be on the same level as well-off people, those who are thrifty because they need to be or because they enjoy it and everything in between. Personally I like to approach life in a practical and thrifty way. I did like the Sixes approach to education and I will pass that on to my 16 year old granddaughter who has a tendancy to be a perfectionist and get the highest grades possible. Thanks for sharing.
Thanks for sharing some of your culture with us Vera. I love the fact that there is less judgement about how people share relationships and whether or not they have children. I might be a little bit taken aback by being asked to leave but I totally get that this is more practical. My grandmother has Dutch roots and i can see her in many of the things you mentioned.
Sounds like the Dutch have a really good life balance
Re. marriage in the USA, I think the official statistics are misleading. The "average" wedding cost figures come from fancy wedding magazines, which get their income by advertising expensive options. The people who read these magazines and answer their surveys are the ones who sirens a lot of money, but most people her don't spend that much. My two daughters spent under $10,000 each, and had nice weddings.
Also, you can just go to the county office here and get married in a very similar way to what you did. It's still called a wedding, not a registered partnership, but it's quick and very inexpensive.
Hi Melinda! Very interesting. ☺️ Yes maybe the 'mean' would've been more accurate than the 'average' in this case. Averages tend to be influenced by extreme outliers.
There is a fun book called “why the Dutch are different”. Resonated with me after having lived in The Netherlands for a year as a teenager.
I found that book recently - at a hostel in Mexico City. We all do get around, don't we?
I love this so much! I have a hoodies that says 'zesjes cultuur' and I am living by that🤭
Ooooh nice!! 😁😁
This is so interesting to hear how other countries and cultures do things. I live in the U.S. and I could never operate under the “sixes” method as we have been taught to always do our best in everything we do.
Glad to hear you found it interesting! Have a great day!
I've always pushed myself to do
as well as possible, but it took a heavy toll on my physical and mental health. The high bar I set also set me up for high levels of stress, robbed me of sleep, and deprived me of opportunities for enjoying life. I lost out on the joy of living!
Looking back, was it really worth it? I excelled in my studies and employment, but now that I'm retired, it's really coming home to me just what the cost has been.
As a dutchy i think sixes culture is not accurate, six is barely enough. Solid B culture would be more fitting, that's a comfortable safe score. Solid A's take to much away from other goals beside education and career.
I guess the Dutch have the same goal, being the best at all things we do. We just see 'things we do' as broader than work and assets. Giving 120% to work and career leaves no time for family, relaxation and enjoying the small things in life.
Since we value these things just as high or even higher we make sure to set aside time and energy for those parts of life too.
I'll take 'work to live' over 'the cat's in the cradle' any day.
That said: would love to visit America for the 'big nature'. The Netherlands doesn't really have that.
@@SuzanneU
'The cat's in the cradle' comes to mind...
Sorry to hear you had to pay a price higher than you realised for the succes you earned. Hope you'll have a lovely retirement to make up for some of the sacrifices you made.
Wish you many 'heerlijk dagje niksen' (lovely days to do nothing special at all) Don't plan ahead, just do what feels right for that moment. Can be anything, from not setting an alarm to wake up, taking all the time your cat wants to be cuddled, read a book front to cover in a day, photographing the most beautyfull flowers in the garden, or just taking the time to really see them and the little buggies that live on them.
Maybe do some yoga, take a walk or just lay in the sun for a while. Anything goes, as long as it's what jogs your interest.
Anyway, hope you'll have a beautyfull life and a great day to start with.
I’m in the U.S. and I’m always scraping every last bit out of my yogurt containers, but I never heard of a flessenlikker. I think I need one!
Hahaha they're very practical :D
Thank you Vera for this video! Life seems so simple in your country! I 'd like to be able to tell people " well, time for you to leave now" 😅 but that is not conceivable in France. My mum used to do so, but she was known to be too direct and made people laugh at her! Good to you! 😉
I love hearing about various cultures! Thank you.😊
That was such an interesting video. It gave me lots to think about. Your principles make perfect sense to me. I live in the UK x
I live in Australia, and i still after being here for 44 years don't like people just dropping by unannounced, Australians have a habit of doing that, and that means I have to stop doing what I have planned for the day...
I live in the United States of America and I also considered rude if someone drops by unannounced however that doesn’t happen to us thank goodness
Thank you for this information. I am from Texas, USA. But I do like the minimalist way. Nice to understand.
I love all these customs! I am in the UK and I think the Dutch way of doing all these things is so much more sensible than the way we do them.
Fascinating! As an American teacher, I am trying to wrap my mind around sixes culture. It is one thing for the students and parents to be satisfied with barely passing, but what about the teachers? If most of my students were barely passing, I would feel like I was a terrible teacher. I would love to hear from a Dutch teacher to gain better understanding about how they view their role as a teacher.
Maybe it is bc it is long ago i was at school but i do not recognize at all what she tells about sixes culture. About 15 yrs ago their was this politician (JP Balkenende) who was annoyed by the attitude of the Dutch and introduced the word sixes culture and told us to go back to the time of the VOC when The NL were a big country. He was met with a lot of criticism, not only bc of his reference to colonialism. It is contradictory with the image that exists of the Nordic countries in Europe being industrious and that being the reason for being successful, they say it is due to the religion: being lazy gives the Devil chances.
I am a teacher here in the Netherlands. Of course we want our students to get good grades. But we also look at the potential every student has. For some a 6 feels like a 10, because the subject is hard for them to master. And the most important thing is that our students are happy. There is more to life than just good grades. We look at the individual and the potential of that individual but also at what makes them happy in life. But if a student is underperforming we are going to talk about it with the student and the parents. The main goal in such a conversation is to get to understand why this student is underperforming. Because there can be many reasons. And eventually we are trying to become a team with the parents and, most important, with the student his/herself.
In college it is different though. The student is responsible for it's own grades and development. And I think this is where the sixes culture is more common.
I am amazed at how similar our cultures are. I am from Argentina and many of the points you talked about are quite similar here. Of course, not everything because we are a latin culture where people come to your house whenever they like and also leave whenever they like. Many bring food but some don't. But anyway, I feel very Dutch myself as I think and feel very much like you.
It is a great video with information most people that can't travel would never know. Thanks!✨
Thank you for sharing your thoughts, so nice to hear that we have similarities with how you do things over there! :)
i love all of this. These habits fit with my personality. Can't wait to visit!
So happy you enjoyed it! :)
Hahhaha sorry, I really laughed at the 'telling people when to leave'. Being a Dutchie myself, it's just a trio down memory lane haha I even did it at my own birthday party a couple of times 😅 Great video and totally on point 😊
I adore the life where how I live & strive to continue living~ is considered a norm.
I really appreciate that you decided on this topic to share !
The dominant societal culture in the ‘U.S. is a monstrosity of unhealthy, unneeded pressures, & so called values that lack heart, & positive, sustainable intention.
I love knowing ahead of time about visitors, usually I like to invite. I have a couple of close neighbor friends who are exempt, but they're just checking that I'm okay usually.
I think I need to move to Holland! Especially love the hospitality thing - I really hate unexpected visits, although I have had one exception to this, and I really dislike mealtimes being interrupted. My family were the worst for this. The more relaxed approach to grades sounds great too.
Happy to hear those two points resonated with you :) Thanks for sharing your thoughts, have a wonderful weekend!!!
I'm in West Michigan, an area where many Dutch, including my maternal ancestors immigrated to in the early 1900's. Since my ancestry is mostly Dutch, I feel very validated by this! I thought much of how I was raised was due to my parents being raised during the Depression. However, I see that the Dutch influence was also very present. It's very refreshing to hear this against the backdrop of American consumerism! Thank you! m.
Same! I love this! My great grandparents immigrated to Minnesota from the Netherlands in the 1910's.
All of these sound so ideal! 🥰
Glad to hear the video resonated with you :) Take care and have a lovely day!
The "bottle-scraper"..! I didn't even know they sold those things. First time I saw your channel and you are very very polite! 🌸 TY! 🌸
That was so interesting, thank you for sharing. I wish here in North America. There wasn’t so much emphasis on what you do for a living, the car you drive, or the house you live in.
Hello Vera, I loved this video and agree with all of the ways of being honest with guests! As I grow older, I have specifically outlined to my friends that they need to ask me ahead of time - no drop ins. And asking them to leave is not hard for me! I just stand up and say thanks for the visit we will have to do this again and I get their coat! I love the birthday cake idea and also the grading for schools. There is too much competition in schools and this detracts from the children finding their own personalities and interests! Wonderful! Thanks so much for sharing! You are amazing! Love from Laara in Canada
1. Your comment about half-assing reminds me of "The Lazy Genius Way" by Kendra Adachi - "How to be a genius about the things that matter and lazy about the things that don't." Game changer for someone who was severely punished if she brought home a "C" grade (That would be a 7 to you, Vera).
2. I LOVE the idea of bringing your own cake! At my job, the boss buys individual "bundtlet" cakes for everyone when there's a birthday. He checks what flavor each person wants and we each get a cake with a candle in the birthday person's cake.
3. As a trained wedding planner, American wedding culture is ridiculous, which is why I didn't follow through on that career. 😂
4. I absolutely ABHOR when people drop by unannounced. I don't even like it when people call without texting first to see if I have time to talk! So I very much like this idea.
5. My coworkers and I are constantly venmoing each other money for hitting up the convenience store next door. "I'm going next door. Anybody want anything?" "Yes, let me Venmo you." 😄
Happy Weekend, Vera😊 Although I’m American, I think I’m Dutch at heart because I already incorporate these principles❤️ I find it to be such a balanced and peaceful way of living. I’ve never heard of the sixes principle before, but that seems like such a wonderful concept. Here in the USA, it’s really difficult for children to grow up surrounded by social media influences and then adding the stress of getting top grades as well. It’s no wonder that their mental health is suffering. My children are both in university now and I always strived to never put pressure on them about their grades. I’ve just always wanted them to be happy and not take things too seriously. Anyway, I’m done rambling haha. Enjoy the rest of your weekend😊
Thank you for sharing more about Dutch culture - happy holidays!
Aw thank you, happy holidays to you too!! 🤗🌳🌱
You didn't mention spring cleaning. My husband worked in Holland and was impressed how everyone put all the furniture outside and cleaned their houses
Hoi! First generation Dutch/Aussie, married to an Irish man here. We moved from Amsterdam(4 years) & Berlin(8 years) to the USA, obviously we have a very mixed home, but it’s undeniable that I have incorporate a lot of Dutch culture in our little family, in fact, just this weekend, I did the tidy up “that was lovely, let’s do it again” to move guests on. I’m still trying/helping my husband to see that good enough really is fine and healthy. I grew up with a very combined culture and a combination Christmas. I always add many Dutch elements to our Christmas celebration; we had to compromise, but we have a small celebration on the 24th too. Speaking of Christmas, the other cute one I do for us, (and it’s happening this Friday), is Sinterklaas ❤, I always put a treat in his shoes.
I love the birthday tradition... I've always always felt that the birthday person should come with the cake and treats.
This was a great video! Thank you for sharing such wonderful aspects of your culture. I am feeling I might be part Dutch as I think they are all great principles to live by! 😊 Especially letting someone know when it is time to go home or when you’ve had enough of a visit or phone call, even if you’ve been enjoying yourself the whole time. I struggle with that in particular - I think many Canadians do! I did a bike trip last year (your bike culture is AMAZING) and I have to say I fell a bit in love with The Netherlands and its people! This video highlights those aspects that I found appealing.
Dear Vera I just loved this video and info. Living in South Africa with the surname of Oosthuizen, I realised my roots are definitely Dutch as I could relate with all 5 facts, however not always easy to implement it here due to all the different cultures. Maybe I must immigrate to the Netherlands 😊
Loved this video. I grew up in New Zealand and the unannounced drop in culture was very popular,and when we moved to Australia it’s different, you book in advance, and I love it. And I had the 6 mentality at school,although it was popular with my parents or the teachers. Good and finished was enough. Think I should have lived in the Netherlands.❤️❤️❤️
Thanks for sharing your thoughts Joanne, glad you enjoyed the video! Funny to see how there's a difference between Australia and New Zealand when it comes to dropping by unannounced. :)
I love your videos so much! Minimalism in almost each aspect of my life helped me become more mindful and I can't thank you enough for your incredible content! ❤
Aw thank you, that means a lot to me :)
Wow this was so interesting to learn about dutch culture! really enjoyed watching this ❤
I would so love to visit the Netherlands. I think I’m a Dutch woman living in an American’s body. I do have Dutch ancestry on my mother’s father’s side.
Here we have talks like a Dutch uncle (someone giving you good, sound advice) and going Dutch when you go out but will each pay your own way. I love this video. Thank you so much!
❤ Shirley
I’m a Ukrainian living in the US. After watching this video I feel like I’m Dutch))) I do not use a bottle scraper but I make sure I use everything. Not because I don’t have money to buy another bottle, but because I do not understand why whatever is left inside should be thrown away. And so I can’t help but notice small signs of American consumerism. For example., instead of taking care of some home item (say a rug or smth like that) people would buy a new one… And the amount of paper spam mail just terrifies, knowing how many trees these would be…
With birthdays we go the same way as you - it’s on us.
As for having guests: I personally don’t invite people. Or if I do, this is always a very thought through decision (I have to know that everything is arranged and will be according to my standards of hospitality). Instead, I would just invite someone to go out together and would pay for that, or we will agree to split the expenses.
And this has nothing to do with hospitality culture. I like everything to be clean and in order, and with guests being more “frivolous” I just can’t stand this frivolousness in my home))) For ex, very few people realize that they lose hair (in the tab, when using a hair dryer). Last time I had a friend visiting for a week; and she came to the kitchen to keep talking to me and she brought the hair dryer and dried her hair - I almost got a heart attack))) I saw every single hair flying around))) (and cleaned it the next second my friend was out of the kitchen). Eventually I had to ask her to do this in the bathroom only (because I can easily go there after she’s out and wipe the floor), but I felt bad doing that. To me this is smth that has to go without saying, and I hate to explain such things to people. And feeling restrained in my own home is nonsense. So that is why my hospitality is taking people out)) On a side note, I do make a great guest though))) Many people told me they like hosting me, bc I clean their kitchens/bathrooms 😂😂🤦♀️🤦♀️
I can’t imagine bringing a hairdryer out of the bathroom to chat. 😳😂 That’s not usual, seriously!
Vera, I like some of your coustoms. I don't think they are weird. Thank you for sharing ❤
Hi, l respect your culture of course. The sixes thing is really good,l think that is an amazing way to relieve the huge pressure that many students are put under here in England. The other hospitality things l personally would struggle with. Only because that's the way l have been raised. Love the video. X
The sixes thing is very different to England, isn’t it!
I understand, thanks for sharing your thoughts Lindsay! Take care and have a wonderful rest of your weekend 🤗🌳🌻
In the US whether your birthday gets celebrated at work really depends on the workplace. One place I was at had the person who just had a birthday do the next person's bday. The last place I was at got a cake with everyone's name on it who had a bday that month, so just one cake that month. My current place doesn't do anything.
Oh that's interesting!! I have to admit, when I think of American office birthdays, my mind immediately goes to the birthday celebrations in 'The Office' hahaha.
@@SimpleHappyZen there are probably places that do that! but there's no one standard.
This video sung to my soul. Everything you said are things I would like to be in America's culture.
I truly prefer and respect all aspects of the Dutch culture you described!
Glad to hear the video resonated with you :) Take care and have a lovely day!
My husband is third generation Dutch. The way things are in the Netherlands are very different from the Holland settlement that my husband's family was raised in. They are very much still Calvinists, still frugal for the most part. Much more conservative than the Netherlands. You call them straightforward, my husband calls his relatives "blunt."
I'm Canadian and I love hearing about the straightforward, clear communication. I'm embracing that in my life right now and it can still be done in a kind way. Also, we had a small wedding, 25 guests, and spent about $6000. It was definitely the exception to the rule. Everyone asks us if we got married during COVID...which would have been easier as a reason. I know some family members were bummed to not be invited, but we have no regrets for doing it our way.
I really enjoyed this video. It’s so interesting learning about different cultures. Most of the time I feel out of place living in the US. I wish things were more like that here.
I'm in Illinois, USA... As a child, we brought treats for the other children in the classroom. I love this tradition.
Aw nice you did that over there too! :)
Thank you for sharing about your culture. Very interesting!
I am from Germany, and with b-days it is the same - the birthday persons brings the cake and arranges a party if they want to, and surprise partys don't happen.
:) When the b-day calender is in the toilet room, it is made sure that ereyone in the house notices them!
Talking about hospitality, I would love to have it over here like you Dutchies do it. I would like to tell a guest politely that they have to leave because it is late and I am tired or need my me-time now (you know that thing being a hsp and get a social hangover...).
I tried Wild a while ago btw, and I love it. :)
Funny that you guys do things the same way with the birthday things! :) And also yes haha, as a hsp, the social hangover is a real thing
I love these concepts, it really shows respect of healthy habits and boundaries.
Haha the weather sounds like Melbourne Australia we have 4 seasons in one day. Your culture resonates with me ❤
Haha it's tricky when the weather can change every 5 minutes :)
I am an American of Dutch heritage who enjoyed living in the Netherlands for many years. I enjoy your videos. Your information is informative about my family and my instinctual habits. Thank you.
I love the Dutch hospitality rules. They make perfect sense to avoid hospitality being abused or visitors outstaying their welcome.
My autistic brain absolutely loves EVERYTHING about your culture. Simple. Clear. Concrete. And concise! Excellent!! 💕💕
Yay a new video! 🎉
Hope you enjoyed it! 😊❤
In Ukraine getting 6 out of 10 would be considered 'below average' and for many families the kids would be expected to get like 8 at least. And the grades in school are a serious thing for majority. This is very funny because out of this we have adults who are very worried about their performance at work, agree with overtimes easily, try to outperform to stand out. After moving and starting to work in the office here all dutchies seemd to me very slow and irresponsible (not really worried about the quality of work they do, forgetting things a lot, failing deadlines). But now I get it. They are just more chill about work and cherish their work life balance. I find it fascinating how hard it is for me to adjust to it as an adult. But I try my best 😂
What a great video. We have the same rules about birthday's gifts here in Serbia.
Same in France, it's the person celebrating their birthday who brings cakes, sweets and nowadays fruits to school or to work. It didn't c4oss my mind it coule be the other way around actually 😂
In the USA, kids do bring in treats to school on their birthdays (if it's allowed.) But most jobs I've had, people's birthdays are not usually celebrated at all.
Ah interesting! :) Thanks for sharing, have a nice day!
I've found that with birthdays in the office it really depends. First on the culture in that particular company, and for example in my current job with around 150 in the whole department, some people don't do anything for their birthday, some only for their own team or subteam and some few will have treats for everyone who's in the office on that particular day. But yes the treats will range from fancy vlaais to homebaked to stroopwafels. And it's all fine whatever someone chooses to do. Although with the AVG privacy laws, the office birthday calendar is very much a thing of the past, at least in our office.
Oh that's interesting about the privacy laws.... And yes, I guess it would depend on company culture as well :) This comment gave me a craving for vlaai and stroopwafels hahaha
I could totally becoming a Dutch person, haha. Love the simple and chill ways you go about living your lives and more of that needs to rub off on people in North America! I am working on becoming a minimalist but it's hard when you're dealing with people around you who don't get it.
I’m American and a recent Ancestry test said I had Dutch ancestry, which I didn’t really believe until watching this video. I love planning, have no problem telling people when to leave and was definitely raised to be thrifty and never wasteful. The only part I didn’t really relate to was the 6’s, but it seems much healthier than the emphasis on achieving, in even unimportant areas, that we have here.
I grew up in US with being taught if you I’d strive to make 100% on tests, it meant you would not be welcome in careers that expected 100% performance such as being a surgeon, dentist, pilot….no one wants a pilot that only lands a plane correctly 60% of the time.
But he could fail art