The Most Confusing Movie I Have Ever Seen

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  • Опубликовано: 13 май 2024
  • FOLKS! A ton of you guys have told me to make a video about the movie "Dancing Ninja", and I don't want anybody to be mad at me so I did it! It is by far the most confusing movie I have ever seen, and I had to rewatch it 3 times to understand it...and I still don't! Come along as we take a closer look at the weird mess of a film that is....Dancing Ninja.
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    thanks for watching!
    comment "seventh grade kurtis definitely had a chance" if ur reading this
    #kurtisconner

Комментарии • 10 тыс.

  • @PossiblyAlena
    @PossiblyAlena 4 года назад +4316

    “You can’t be a ninja if you’re a virgin.”
    -Kurtis Conner, 2019

    • @izzymartino6319
      @izzymartino6319 4 года назад +16

      facts right there. facts.

    • @leewhite4955
      @leewhite4955 4 года назад +28

      I love taking out of context screenshots from Kurtis’s video. Some of my favourites are “oh drugging your boyfriend without his consent cool cool cool” and “blood type: puka”

    • @redacted5078
      @redacted5078 4 года назад +2

      Oh noooo

  • @leewhite4955
    @leewhite4955 4 года назад +4671

    - orphan found by man “somewhere in Asia” in random box
    - man somewhere in Asia owns restaurant of sorts
    - orphan ends up being a ninja
    Kung Fu Panda?

    • @zmatics
      @zmatics 4 года назад +78

      Hailey White holy fuck

    • @bluebu2002
      @bluebu2002 4 года назад +237

      - Villain who wants a scroll

    • @leewhite4955
      @leewhite4955 4 года назад +84

      Jesara Holt oh my god the hole keeps getting deeper

    • @sashat3632
      @sashat3632 4 года назад +15

      Thats exactly what I was thinking

    • @Cyphynte
      @Cyphynte 4 года назад +124

      Villain was also trained by the guy who trains protagonist

  • @sofiaoronaa
    @sofiaoronaa Год назад +580

    the stereotypical “oriental” music, japanese ninjas, korean writing, traditional chinese structures and clothing should tell you everything you need to know about this movie and it’s directors. jeez 😭

  • @triskaidekapho13ic
    @triskaidekapho13ic 3 года назад +2168

    LOL my boyfriend walked in for the 'flying-at-boobs-scene' and his reaction: "What incel directed that!?"

  • @junkoenoshima7093
    @junkoenoshima7093 4 года назад +4174

    *korean symbols*
    *japanese ninjas*
    *chinese flags and buildings*
    *very American man*
    Makes sOo much sense

    • @aishwaryap.2230
      @aishwaryap.2230 4 года назад +298

      Mr. Worldwide

    • @farting358
      @farting358 4 года назад +11

      nice pfp

    • @junkoenoshima7093
      @junkoenoshima7093 4 года назад +6

      @@farting358 haha you too man.

    • @azag2422
      @azag2422 4 года назад +84

      exactly like wow so much research is put in this fking movie

    • @destinysaye5217
      @destinysaye5217 4 года назад +8

      @@aishwaryap.2230 i screamed lmaoooo

  • @daddy_warbuxx
    @daddy_warbuxx 4 года назад +5460

    Corbin Bleu sang the words, “I don’t dance” while Ryan countered with the argument, “I say you can.” smh Kurtis

    • @gracerogers9634
      @gracerogers9634 4 года назад +192

      daddy__warbuxx finally, somebody acknowledges the truth!!

    • @necrofeline
      @necrofeline 4 года назад +106

      THANK YOU i was about to say the same. smh

    • @josiesimon6161
      @josiesimon6161 4 года назад +60

      Im glad somebody said it

    • @cordeliax8972
      @cordeliax8972 4 года назад +44

      i was on my way to comment that lmao

    • @gargisharma1654
      @gargisharma1654 4 года назад +17

      tHANK YOU

  • @treedeerthethingy4812
    @treedeerthethingy4812 2 года назад +2472

    9:25
    fun fact, it's bad to put your chopsticks standing up in a bowl of rice, because it resembles the incense they use at funerals. whatever researchers they hired were really bad at their jobs. also, that rice is clearly uncooked.

    • @basilmahyoub3607
      @basilmahyoub3607 2 года назад +174

      perhaps it could be a foreshadowing that his sensei is gonna die in the dojo and the location of where the uncooked rice hit Ryan is where the bullet was fired.

    • @treedeerthethingy4812
      @treedeerthethingy4812 2 года назад +284

      @@basilmahyoub3607 Potentially, but I don't really feel I wanna give that much credit to the writers of this film.

    • @blitzyblook3315
      @blitzyblook3315 2 года назад +13

      how do you regularly leave it? i wanna know

    • @treedeerthethingy4812
      @treedeerthethingy4812 2 года назад +82

      @@blitzyblook3315 I think you either put them to the side or horizontally on top of the bowl.

    • @camille1324
      @camille1324 2 года назад +44

      Haha I doubt they bothered to hire any researchers

  • @phoebe1025
    @phoebe1025 2 года назад +739

    It’s like this movie couldn’t decide between being a disney flick, horny white boy movie, or a really racially-insensitive kung fu knock-off. Props to whatever ungodly trixter brought this idea to Earth

  • @dollgrl
    @dollgrl 4 года назад +2288

    *“somewhere in asia”*
    doesn’t this movie know they’re talking about a whole ass continent including completely different countries like india lmao

    • @folieadont6870
      @folieadont6870 4 года назад +243

      Plot twist, it was in Russia the entire time...

    • @appalochian
      @appalochian 4 года назад +139

      "somewhere in asia"
      > korean text everywhere

    • @parkchimmin7913
      @parkchimmin7913 4 года назад +60

      Lo Why are there ninjas in Korea lmao?

    • @nana-qn1zc
      @nana-qn1zc 4 года назад +22

      @@appalochian So is that place like a mixture of Korean and Japanese culture. MINDBLOWN lmao

    • @whtenoize2847
      @whtenoize2847 4 года назад +32

      @@nana-qn1zc maybe its actually like chinatown in london or sumn

  • @netti6010
    @netti6010 4 года назад +4148

    * raised somewhere in Asia since a baby by Asian parents *
    - *has American accent*
    - *dresses American*
    - *seems to not understand anything about Asian culture*
    makes sense.

    • @katelivewire
      @katelivewire 4 года назад +10

      Me honestly HAHA

    • @nickv.3573
      @nickv.3573 4 года назад +3

      Wut

    • @ezraf.7759
      @ezraf.7759 4 года назад +21

      and white as fuck

    • @leewhite4955
      @leewhite4955 4 года назад +38

      It makes perfect sence. I was born and raised in the United States by white parents and I don’t speak a single word of English.

    • @alexjames4704
      @alexjames4704 4 года назад +12

      I was raised in Vietnam by white parents but I am Vietnamese. My parents even tho they lived there for years don’t speak Vietnamese. I don’t know anything about Vietnamese culture. Where I live in Vietnam everyone dresses in jeans and t shirts “American” like. I have an American accent and don’t speak Vietnamese. It’s a bit confusing but it’s a way of life.

  • @harrystyles705
    @harrystyles705 2 года назад +211

    "If you have a birthmark on your body that kind of looks like something, that's what you are, dude!"
    Kurtis re-discovers cutie marks

  • @HerHollyness
    @HerHollyness 2 года назад +273

    I feel like Lucas Grabeel did this to escape being stereotyped as ‘the gay one’ after Ryan. But like… this is not it, bro.

    • @blokvader8283
      @blokvader8283 Год назад +63

      "I'm not gay, I swear, boobies are what give me energy, bro!"

    • @hannahbrady6869
      @hannahbrady6869 9 месяцев назад +15

      Let’s be honest. I think my man just needed a paycheck 😂

  • @zolengeb.7629
    @zolengeb.7629 4 года назад +8135

    “Somewhere in Asia” okay cool, I’ll assume they’re in Uzbekistan

    • @emiliew5553
      @emiliew5553 3 года назад +477

      they're obviously in Dubai, nuh doy

    • @user-rq4te9ci9l
      @user-rq4te9ci9l 3 года назад +599

      Yo wait that’s my home country this is the first time I’ve heard anyone even remotely know where that is lmao I think this is neat

    • @bipo819
      @bipo819 3 года назад +282

      Cool they are now in North Korea

    • @mikaroni_and_cheez
      @mikaroni_and_cheez 3 года назад +212

      Wow they're in the majority of Kazakhstan

    • @Daniel-gh4sq
      @Daniel-gh4sq 3 года назад +216

      No they are in the heart of mother russia

  • @snailsoren
    @snailsoren 4 года назад +2571

    so he's trying to be a ninja, but i see korean letters and a lot of chinese things in this movie .. what

    • @marielle1590
      @marielle1590 4 года назад +76

      zimzalatte exactly. i tried to put it in google translate but it literally doesnt even make up anything. i also translated “ninja tryouts today” and it is no where near what it says lol 😂

    • @hana_hayashi
      @hana_hayashi 4 года назад +84

      Crow but ninjas are japanese?

    • @zamiraroza1975
      @zamiraroza1975 4 года назад +50

      zimzalatte and ninjas and geishas are Japanese

    • @cheyennepetersen3417
      @cheyennepetersen3417 4 года назад +134

      that's because it's "somewhere in asia" because wildly diverse cultures are all the same right

    • @Shmaples
      @Shmaples 4 года назад +121

      Yeah i assumed it was China and then I saw the Hangul everywhere and the guy was talking about ninjas and geisha and wtf.. I guess they weren't kidding when they said "somewhere in Asia" lmao.. He lives in an amalgamation of China, Korea and Japan apparently. Honestly it doesn't only come across as lazy but also really rude to treat it like every culture from Asia are all basically the same thing and can be interchanged randomly. sigh. I also don't understand why the main actor couldn't be an Asian person.. we so rarely see it in western media and the actor being white really has no baring on the story anyway... they didn't have to do it.

  • @miakpupgigi6489
    @miakpupgigi6489 2 года назад +284

    Wait so does this mean that all the female ninjas are bi or gay? You have to date a girl to be a ninja.....

  • @Cheshirecatspawpads
    @Cheshirecatspawpads 2 года назад +522

    the way they just stuck the chopsticks into the rice bowl like they did in 9:28 is no joke one of the most offensive table manners in Japan... well done on your research Dance Ninja

    • @DocBree13
      @DocBree13 Год назад +65

      But - evidently it’s okay in the Korean-and-English-speaking Japanese parts of “somewhere in Asia” ;)

    • @lemin0u
      @lemin0u Год назад +6

      omg i thought so too. such lazy and bad writing

  • @aspeno6576
    @aspeno6576 4 года назад +3243

    FOLKS!! *claps aggressively, causing an 8.5 magnitude earthquake*

    • @999babydoll
      @999babydoll 4 года назад +8

      Aspen O i can hear this

    • @tazzygirl44
      @tazzygirl44 4 года назад +18

      do u also clap along with him like i do? #citizenofkurtistown

    • @van5122
      @van5122 4 года назад +2

      I love youuuu💜

    • @999babydoll
      @999babydoll 4 года назад

      Dana Whittles absolutely

    • @etheriusmoon1809
      @etheriusmoon1809 4 года назад

      @@tazzygirl44 yes indeed

  • @hhhh-pz9uj
    @hhhh-pz9uj 4 года назад +4648

    “women ain’t property, brother”
    how do i subscribe to someone twice?

    • @username-mk4qv
      @username-mk4qv 4 года назад +191

      Simp
      jk I ain’t a fucking 8-year-old

    • @excuseu2563
      @excuseu2563 3 года назад +135

      Reanne Argh they had in the first half not gonna lie

    • @ziya31
      @ziya31 3 года назад +68

      Make another account

    • @skooter__
      @skooter__ 3 года назад +56

      @@username-mk4qv omg I was boutta go off

    • @PolyPocketPole
      @PolyPocketPole 3 года назад +3

      Join

  • @Kookiiss
    @Kookiiss 2 года назад +203

    "He has a rat tail"
    *future Kurtis laughing in mullet*

  • @eviehowlett2535
    @eviehowlett2535 2 года назад +147

    as someone who used to practice circus arts, I know the hula hoop thing requires balance and strength to perfect. that said, it does look a little odd in a ninja movie.

  • @Machouseproductions
    @Machouseproductions 3 года назад +5075

    This is like Kung Fu Panda except it's less culturally sensitive, less mature, but more horny for some reason.

    • @sameerakhanna2602
      @sameerakhanna2602 3 года назад +125

      I was literally searching for a comment like this. Why isnt anybody talking about how it's so similar to Kung Fu Panda😂

    • @ghostisnotaghost8873
      @ghostisnotaghost8873 3 года назад +359

      @@sameerakhanna2602 nobody wants to insult kung fu panda like that

    • @Champion_Vapor
      @Champion_Vapor 3 года назад +273

      its like kung fu panda but everything good about it is gone

    • @shrub5770
      @shrub5770 3 года назад +98

      @@Champion_Vapor "Kung Fu Panda, but everything about it is bad."

    • @NeutralGuyDoubleZero
      @NeutralGuyDoubleZero 3 года назад +31

      Was literally gonna comment how every parent buying these stupid kung and ninja parodies for their kids needs to just get kung fu panda. It's such an opposite to this in the best way possible lol

  • @angrybunnies9664
    @angrybunnies9664 4 года назад +5523

    I have trouble suspending my disbelief that Ryan from High School Musical is attracted to women.

    • @michaelhaydenbell
      @michaelhaydenbell 4 года назад +281

      Yeahhh...that just made everything 10x more off-putting.

    • @victoriaodegaard1
      @victoriaodegaard1 4 года назад +123

      And the actor has a longtime girlfriend too

    • @starzies
      @starzies 4 года назад +277

      there is no heterosexual explanation for this

    • @miamiric6051
      @miamiric6051 4 года назад +1

      Ginger Hernandez Why lol

    • @Crabernacker
      @Crabernacker 4 года назад +102

      @@miamiric6051 have you seen high school musical?

  • @MellSayzHi
    @MellSayzHi 2 года назад +129

    I don't know what shocked me more the Property Brother or the fact I was convinced Ryan was La Douche's son and there was gonna be this whole 'you may be my dad but you're not my father' y'know, an actual arc.

  • @Magna_Carta5
    @Magna_Carta5 2 года назад +101

    He never, at any point, hit the correct DDR arrows. Even when they pretended he was a "good" dancer, still missed every single arrow. I would know, I used to do "End of the Century" on maniac, I'm something of a DDR expert. Lol

  • @alishaamado6799
    @alishaamado6799 4 года назад +3870

    maybe he would be better at dancing if he faced the screen that displays the steps to take

    • @WhutADrag
      @WhutADrag 4 года назад +167

      He wasn't even stepping on any of the buttons. He didn't hit a single step, he completely failed at DDR lmao

  • @almagundelach1256
    @almagundelach1256 4 года назад +7850

    If I had a dime for every time Kurtis said “if I had a dime” then I would be rich enough to make my own super weird movie that doesn’t make sense

  • @rolanslide8509
    @rolanslide8509 2 года назад +83

    "Ryan had a song called I Don't Dance in HSM2 so why is he dancing" how dare you misinterpret Ryan's profession of love for Chad in this way

    • @jakub.kantner
      @jakub.kantner 9 дней назад

      Scrolled to far for this comment

  • @charliecaruso344
    @charliecaruso344 Год назад +78

    I just can’t stop laughing at the sentence: “anime dad is being interrogated by le douche.” 😂😂😂

    • @Random-sk6hm
      @Random-sk6hm Год назад

      I actually peed a little reading this comment 😭

  • @tori_chiken
    @tori_chiken 4 года назад +2825

    I’m screaming the tryouts sign was in Korean but ninjas are Japanese and the gym has Chinese banners FFUCDKDKDJJF

    • @deedeexYT
      @deedeexYT 4 года назад +86

      Why does this always happen

    • @seigeengine
      @seigeengine 4 года назад +59

      probably because nobody cared what language the signs actually were in, as it wasn't an important element of the story.

    • @dottyContrarian
      @dottyContrarian 4 года назад +127

      @@seigeengine *woah there, a little aggressive*

    • @seigeengine
      @seigeengine 4 года назад +4

      @@suubisuubi because you totally had any kind of intelligent response to mine, and weren't just bitching.
      Fuck right off with that shit.

    • @assballs731
      @assballs731 4 года назад +5

      Patricia Cayton FUCKIDNG DEADASSISJHD

  • @redvinet6591
    @redvinet6591 4 года назад +11569

    If you told me that you watched a movie where Ryan from High School Musical beat up a property brother in the midst of his journey to be come dancing ninja I would assume it was a fever dream

  • @neonflights5951
    @neonflights5951 2 года назад +269

    You know, watching this video in 2022, after the Atlanta Spa shootings, I feel like this movie encapsulates/is rife with the unessacary sexualization of asian women+ the exploitation of asian women (his adoptive mother and his adoptive father making videos of her aren't played off as them even just having fun, but they're depicted as directly making and marketing softcore p0rn. And while there's nothing wrong with that in real life, the way its depicted in this movie is really, extremely problematic for a lot of its insinuations). Especially with the way that the white male protag "unlocks" his powers by groping/ogling asian women's bodies. It gets even worse with the two asian women actively FIGHTING for him. Not for anything actually related to the plot, they're just fighting each other because they thirst for him, for some fucking reason. Its toxic and represents everything wrong about the way that media has depicted asian women, the way their bodies are objectified and utilized as a means to an end for the benefit of men, and the cringe fantasies of asian women viewing each other as competition over a random ass boy.

    • @maribethmorgan7886
      @maribethmorgan7886 Год назад +52

      :/ This was a very insightful and heartbreaking comment. Movies depict actions that literally fall under assault and sexual coercion towards women all the time, and they paint it as light hearted fun. It’s very troubling to me that I have had to define what r*pe, SA, and sexual pressure is to some men who are genuinely good intentioned people but society normalized actions that are disgusting and evil. This movie is repulsive for not only that reason, but because it’s geared towards young men. It takes that perspective towards women and turns the lens on Asian women in a way that is uniquely dangerous. The constant sexualization, infantilization, submissiveness, and normalized and ENCOURAGED sexual assault is reflected in the way tv, movies, media, anime, and (mostly) white men treat Asian women. I really hope that one day there is a push to hold these types of depictions accountable for the assaults, attacks, and prejudice towards Asian women. This movie as a whole, and any movie that usually depicts a white hero in an Asian country usually is centered around just dog shitting on Asian culture…and I can’t even imagine being Asian and seeing that terrible depiction everywhere. I remember the terrible ways kids would tease Asian students, and I know most of it comes from these types of movies. Thank you for your comment, as much as I love kurtis, sometimes I wish he would give deeper takes when there’s so much disgusting shit involved in a movie or whatever it is he’s talking about.

    • @AK-mo9pj
      @AK-mo9pj Год назад +38

      The fact that these sort of movies are made for kids, maybe teens, just, dear lord, what even is the thought processes behind this? Writers for these sort of kid/ teen movies can tell any story, literally anything else, but they keep doing racist crap over and over? Who greenlights this sort of trash?

    • @hayley6236
      @hayley6236 Год назад +28

      I'm so tired of the hypersexualisation of women's bodies, I'm so tired

  • @RedOshawott23
    @RedOshawott23 2 года назад +56

    21:28 Missed opportunity to say “LaDouche is LaDead”. Stupid but would’ve been funny.

  • @awkwardathena434
    @awkwardathena434 4 года назад +1870

    This movie was literally written buy a 14 year old boy; nothing else makes sense

  • @Pepperroni08
    @Pepperroni08 4 года назад +3582

    "Somewhere in Asia" was it too hard to just pick one place, one city? Ninjas are Japanese, the whole setting is Chinese, except signs are apparently in Korean. I'm disgusted

    • @w3ymouth526
      @w3ymouth526 4 года назад +60

      nah dude have you seen "Call Me by Your Name"? theyre just "somewhere in nothern italy" in the movie, no specific place

    • @w3ymouth526
      @w3ymouth526 4 года назад +17

      thats what the book was called but im pretty sure they set place in a specific city in the movie

    • @ke6279
      @ke6279 4 года назад +401

      smolbeanharry italy is a generally small country. asia is a huge continent. big difference

    • @squawkington9369
      @squawkington9369 4 года назад +211

      smolbeanharry I think “Northern Italy”, a region of a country, is a little more specific than “Asia”, a huge fucking continent. 🤯

    • @str4yk1dsw0rldd0minati0n
      @str4yk1dsw0rldd0minati0n 4 года назад +7

      Lara Maria And I’m pretty sure there’s some in Tai

  • @myloveisgod
    @myloveisgod 2 года назад +41

    this whole movie sounds like a fever dream, but i lost my fucking mind when a property brother came out

  • @TurnerEnzler
    @TurnerEnzler 2 года назад +31

    I am actually impressed by Ryan in this movie, I think him and his rat tail might even have what it takes to get a nomination for horniest weasel!

  • @eri5867
    @eri5867 3 года назад +7605

    I'm surprised they were even able to get asian actors for this offensive ass movie

    • @elwiwi43
      @elwiwi43 3 года назад +41

      Ikr

    • @damaigyin1273
      @damaigyin1273 3 года назад +128

      money

    • @karaleigh_eva
      @karaleigh_eva 3 года назад +120

      I think it’s too shitty to be offensive

    • @jasperrosa1369
      @jasperrosa1369 3 года назад +323

      The fact that the setting is "somewhere in asia" proves that

    • @slimyfarts5630
      @slimyfarts5630 3 года назад +152

      a paycheck is a paycheck i guess

  • @omon1128
    @omon1128 4 года назад +2169

    This is just a 30 year old weeb's fever dream

    • @morcoroni
      @morcoroni 4 года назад +15

      Meme Machine underrated comment

    • @Xvladin
      @Xvladin 4 года назад +11

      Not enough lolis

    • @omon1128
      @omon1128 4 года назад +24

      @Ari A. Or maybe it's the dude who posted the "beaten up by Chinese Chad" story's fever dream

    • @Lucien_M
      @Lucien_M 3 года назад +12

      This is just Naruto but if you only watched pervy sensei

    • @heylol9166
      @heylol9166 3 года назад +2

      nahh this movie is like shot in Korea and they are chinese??? saying somewhere in japan. LMFAO

  • @tacticalmisandrist
    @tacticalmisandrist 2 года назад +49

    Dude 🤦🏻‍♀️ even the rice bowl with the chopsticks sticking straight up is offensive, it’s like they went out of their way to use every problematic stereotype or misinterpretation of Japanese culture

  • @Elori92
    @Elori92 2 года назад +39

    The fact that 'ninja tryout' was written in Korean makes me laugh so much

  • @seigeengine
    @seigeengine 4 года назад +2669

    Did that guy just.... telekinetically throw a bowl of rice at someone via hip thrusts?

    • @lukewarmlava2083
      @lukewarmlava2083 4 года назад +65

      Yes. Yes he did.

    • @mrigaankamuch
      @mrigaankamuch 4 года назад +9

      I havent seen the whole video but now I've seen this comment and now I MUST

    • @Grace-px5ck
      @Grace-px5ck 4 года назад +6

      I do that on Thursdays

    • @voulajustme513
      @voulajustme513 4 года назад +17

      PSYCHIC PELVIC THRUSTS!!!!

    • @ToBe_Continued
      @ToBe_Continued 4 года назад +3

      Norah Beattie Well of course the rice wasn't cooked. Have you tried getting cooked white rice out of clothing?

  • @ReservoirFibers
    @ReservoirFibers 4 года назад +3520

    That rat tail is literally a clip on. The color isn’t even right lol!

  • @theresivy
    @theresivy 2 года назад +30

    17:03 missed opportunity to say “what the *puck* is this movie”

  • @rachelcookie321
    @rachelcookie321 2 года назад +28

    This feels like the sort of movie my parents would of watched 20 years ago and not even notice how racist it is

  • @tall_child3214
    @tall_child3214 4 года назад +1771

    starting to think this whole movie is just soft porn

  • @Shepfax
    @Shepfax 4 года назад +1742

    Ninjas: Japanese
    Background text and props: Korean
    Me: Confused

    • @dropsofchances
      @dropsofchances 4 года назад +87

      Also calls his dad “Papa-san”....??????

    • @blackmould
      @blackmould 4 года назад +72

      And isn’t Chi from Chinese culture/belief??

    • @aletheamukhim5879
      @aletheamukhim5879 4 года назад +43

      there are also chinese texts

    • @ka850411
      @ka850411 4 года назад +36

      His father: Hong Konger

    • @zupergurkan
      @zupergurkan 4 года назад +41

      That's why he's only somewhere in Asia, I guess😂 maybe it's somewhere in between everything or in a different dimension where Asia is a country and they all share a culture and stuff lol

  • @sidthompson9538
    @sidthompson9538 8 месяцев назад +6

    I think it’s hilarious that who you first saw “Ryan“ as in a movie severely changes how you see this movie. Because I saw him in food boy before HSM, so I will never see him as anything but food boy.

  • @JohnGenericName
    @JohnGenericName 2 года назад +12

    Sabu's actor is the same guy who played Khotun Khan in Ghost of Tsushima. So safe to say he really mellowed out after invading Japan.

    • @supervegito8340
      @supervegito8340 2 года назад

      No fuckin way? I felt weird when I looked at him. Like I should know who he is. Now I know why

    • @SmokenHash
      @SmokenHash Год назад

      He's also in Glee 🤭

  • @Chan-iq7dl
    @Chan-iq7dl 4 года назад +1996

    "What's worse than the accent?"
    **ad break**
    "ItChY sCrAtChY aNnOyInG mOsQuItOeS"

  • @sydniemartin8843
    @sydniemartin8843 4 года назад +3821

    kurtis you didnt say erectile dyspunchin and i am very sad about it

  • @idontknowwhatmynameshouldb428
    @idontknowwhatmynameshouldb428 2 года назад +15

    So you’re telling me the whole time he kicked that can all the way up the street, no soda came out, but as soon as it hits the guys shoe, suddenly it’s half empty

  • @thefinkie6459
    @thefinkie6459 2 года назад +10

    Omg, I saw this movie playing in the children's section of a massive ferry while I was on a school trip. It was the most hilarious journey I've experienced.
    Whoever was in charge of the movies must have had a DVD player and a stack of DVDs in the control room, but they didn't have a remote control. So they'd put in a typical children's movie, like Ice Age, and fiddle around with the buttons on the machine, going up, down, left right for about 10 minutes without finding the play button, then they'd give up and move on to the next DVD. Dancing Ninja was the only one that finally worked, and by that time we were already almost dead from laughter from just watching the helpless struggle with the DVD machine. Then witnessing this weird-ass film that is most definitely NOT a children's film being broadcast on a public ferry was tbh the highlight of the school trip, and remains an iconic moment of my school history.

  • @grilledcheese5000
    @grilledcheese5000 3 года назад +10541

    The fact that he is the ONLY person dressed like that is throwing me for a loop. Where tf did he get his inspiration for flannel, a rat tail, and those godawful socks if nobody he knows dresses like that??

  • @alanephane1337
    @alanephane1337 4 года назад +9130

    Dwayne 'The Rock' Johnson? I prefer Kurtis 'The Lake' Conner.

    • @ghy9rc754
      @ghy9rc754 4 года назад +148

      HAS NOBODY NOTICED THAT THIS IS EXACTLY KUNG FU PANDA BUT WITH HUMANS?!

    • @camillecomtodooamor9751
      @camillecomtodooamor9751 4 года назад +75

      Wait. *The Rock and Dwayne Johnson are THE SAME PERSON?*

    • @wolfandraven891
      @wolfandraven891 4 года назад +58

      @@ghy9rc754 Except with boobs

    • @WakiKat
      @WakiKat 4 года назад +24

      Fantastic
      16/10
      Would totally read again

    • @jordyndasovic2081
      @jordyndasovic2081 4 года назад +59

      Neil “The Grass” Tyson

  • @saraelizabeth589
    @saraelizabeth589 9 месяцев назад +9

    Sorry, I must say Ryan was the one trying to persuade Chad that Chad can dance not the other way around. I know it's a joke but we should all take HSM seriously, especially the 2nd one.

  • @SmokenHash
    @SmokenHash Год назад +2

    17:21 What do ya mean? Hasselhoff is well known for his cover of hooked on a feeling, they didn't need another reason to put it in the movie. It was just permanently embedded in early 2000s culture.

  • @translucentbear
    @translucentbear 4 года назад +10411

    As a gay bloke, unable to harvest the power of perving on 2 dimensional female characters, I'll never achieve my dream of being a ninja.

  • @kim_ch1979
    @kim_ch1979 4 года назад +5353

    This movie is Asian stereotypes and misogyny: the movie.

    • @Enel97
      @Enel97 4 года назад +49

      Misogyny? Asian stereotypes yes. Sexualization of women also yes. This movie is horrible and wrong. But this isn't really misogyny. Misos means hate in greek. There isnt hate or prejudice here against women. There is though sexualisation which is completely wrong and creepy. Just lets not use the other word so freely. There is real misogyny out there and its a far bigger problem so using that word casually is damaging to real cases of misogyny

    • @wendynerd1199
      @wendynerd1199 4 года назад +540

      @@Enel97 pretty sure reducing women to sex objects is hateful. But thanks for mansplaining misogyny.

    • @Enel97
      @Enel97 4 года назад +23

      @@wendynerd1199 Yikes. You are one of those types. Nevermind. Now as a greek I think I know better what a word originating from my country and its language means regardless of what's between our legs. But that being said Its not like you would be willing to listen.

    • @Enel97
      @Enel97 4 года назад +3

      @@elizabethkinard572 but...why can't I experience misogyny?

    • @omon1128
      @omon1128 4 года назад +338

      @@Enel97 Actually, Wendy is kinda right. Since the movie does feature prejudice against women (the idea that women pretty much only exist to fuck dudes in the movie) and is therefore misogyny. And if we're reaching here, it does kinda get to the level of sexual objectification which is also misogyny.

  • @alexbadila1
    @alexbadila1 Год назад +3

    I now have the strong urge to watch David Hasselhoff's cover of Hooked On A Feelin'.

  • @obnoxas
    @obnoxas Год назад +7

    Ok but Ansel LaDouche is a god-tier villain name

    • @frozenuruguayball6436
      @frozenuruguayball6436 6 месяцев назад

      I remember back in the 90s and 2000s they had the best villain names in movies

  • @dazedandconfused2557
    @dazedandconfused2557 4 года назад +2371

    "If you're gonna have a main character of a movie, don't give him a rat tail dude"
    *sad Jedi noises*

  • @GranolaBars11
    @GranolaBars11 4 года назад +17053

    The fact that the movie is set "Somewhere in Asia," has Japanese characters, uses Japanese culture (ninja), but has a mix of Korean- and Chinese-style settings and uses a mixture of Korean and Japanese language for all of the writings tells me all that I need to know about it. The creators were too lazy to even pick research actual Japanese culture so they decided to throw in all the east Asian things lmao

    • @errorfours
      @errorfours 3 года назад +542

      welcome to east-asia town babey!!!

    • @umbral_echo
      @umbral_echo 3 года назад +707

      I scrolled down to the comments hoping to a comment like this lmao. I started laughing when I saw the ninja tryouts sign and saw it was in Korean. Also, the sign doesn't even have "ninja tryout" at all in the sign. The sign translates to "Recruitment of new members."

    • @certainlynobody9287
      @certainlynobody9287 3 года назад +381

      @@umbral_echo OH GOD I THOUGHT THE TWO YEARS IN WHICH I TOOK KOREAN WERE FOR NOTHING BC I COULDN'T FIGURE OUT WHERE IT SAID NINJA TRYOUT SO READING THIS COMMENT MADE ME SO RELIEVED

    • @umbral_echo
      @umbral_echo 3 года назад +44

      certainly nobody lmao it’s okay, just poor translation~

    • @TuckyBlue
      @TuckyBlue 3 года назад +14

      It’s actually in nepal

  • @kdej-si4vo
    @kdej-si4vo 2 года назад +9

    Kurtis calling the dojo “ningym” is hilarious

  • @juliaparks121
    @juliaparks121 2 года назад +15

    13:00 is what I sound like trying to describe a dream I had

  • @birdeynamnam
    @birdeynamnam 4 года назад +1381

    it’s weird seeing a movie with the main plot being Ryan Is Straight, when he was definitely gay in the prequels

    • @britneyspearstodrick1460
      @britneyspearstodrick1460 4 года назад +18

      because Ryan from HSM is gay NOT ick, a character in a completely different movie. also "Ryan" isn't always going to play characters that are gay, it's called being diverse and playing different types of characters

    • @alexanderpumpkin3423
      @alexanderpumpkin3423 4 года назад +38

      Yeah Ryan is defiantly gay.

    • @kaylabusley8870
      @kaylabusley8870 4 года назад +6

      Samara Healey legit 😂

    • @okibelieveyou7047
      @okibelieveyou7047 4 года назад +11

      @@britneyspearstodrick1460 she/he probably knows that they just find it strange seeing they're favorite actor play this type of character

    • @guy.7875
      @guy.7875 4 года назад +1

      ok I believe you, use they/them pronouns because you don’t know if they identify with he/she pronouns

  • @veryvivid
    @veryvivid 4 года назад +502

    clearly filmed in korea, a lot of chinese imagery, ninjas are japanese, i guess the location of "somewhere in asia" was right after all
    i love racism

  • @PBthesquirrel
    @PBthesquirrel 2 года назад +9

    20:33 "Figure it out, man." I've revently learned how Canadian this sentence is. Watch Letterkenny

  • @blueskylark9965
    @blueskylark9965 Год назад +3

    I cannot describe the amount of orientalism, racism, inaccuracies, and general cultural appropriation in this movie. I am flabbergasted. Where do I even start? The conflation between martial artist and ninja? The use of throwing stars? “SOMEWHERE IN ASIA”??

  • @livia3220
    @livia3220 4 года назад +4048

    Everything is written in Korean
    They speak english
    Ninjas are Japanese
    Okay cuz that makes sense

    • @minererva
      @minererva 4 года назад +511

      That's kinda racist tbh, they just add random Chinese, Japanese, and Korean things and boom, it's Asian

    • @princesspuffin8334
      @princesspuffin8334 4 года назад +196

      with french subtitles lmao

    • @Otknoharuka
      @Otknoharuka 4 года назад +81

      Ikr, as a Japanese I’m extremely offended

    • @elenav.5470
      @elenav.5470 4 года назад +3

      Exactly qlwkrej19e bruh

    • @emmakise5182
      @emmakise5182 4 года назад +196

      they also wore Chinese traditional dresses like, ok......

  • @gwenpool666
    @gwenpool666 4 года назад +894

    kurtis. i don't dance was about ryan convincing chad that chad COULD dance if he tried. and chad was the one saying "i don't dance." get your facts straight homie

    • @erinspragg9660
      @erinspragg9660 4 года назад +14

      mel THANKYOU 🙌🏼

    • @emmaalmanzar7638
      @emmaalmanzar7638 4 года назад +7

      I was thinking that the whole time!!! smh

    • @Itzaric
      @Itzaric 4 года назад +17

      SMH same, I was just like "soo uncultured ://"

    • @f4td0gg14
      @f4td0gg14 4 года назад +3

      U IS BLESSED

    • @ellexarden
      @ellexarden 4 года назад +38

      actually it was about how they’re both gay and into each other but chad was in the closet duh

  • @radd.ishh_836
    @radd.ishh_836 Год назад +8

    My favourite thing about this movie is that they were so desperate to just write a white main character that they made a whole elaborate story to explain the discovery of his baby self
    Also that they used Korean road signs in a movie presumably set in japan

    • @victorlolxd7347
      @victorlolxd7347 Год назад +2

      My favorite part is the
      (all Ninjas have girlfriends)
      thing its just so bizzare and funny 🤣

  • @Sevenigma777
    @Sevenigma777 2 года назад +10

    The best thing when you find a creator like Kurtis for the first time is that there is years worth of content to binge!

  • @northshorekatienorthshorek1709
    @northshorekatienorthshorek1709 4 года назад +1225

    Wait, since he fights in his sleep, and fights when he sees girls...
    does that mean he was dreaming about girls every time he fought in his sleep?!

    • @sharenquacker23
      @sharenquacker23 4 года назад +103

      Or maybe everytime he sees women he starts to sleep

    • @nothinghappens9811
      @nothinghappens9811 4 года назад +112

      Oh God, no. He's dreaming about beating up women.

    • @matthewbartlett3442
      @matthewbartlett3442 4 года назад +83

      He’s obviously experiencing his first wet dream in that first scene

    • @dealwitit6563
      @dealwitit6563 3 года назад +44

      oh my god that actually makes sense in this twisted universe

    • @iguesslol6637
      @iguesslol6637 3 года назад +27

      Man what bad day to have eyes!!

  • @Graceeeejack
    @Graceeeejack 4 года назад +1297

    This is just the plot of king fu Panda but with a high school musical twist.

    • @unicornmagic8610
      @unicornmagic8610 4 года назад +12

      anna barnes bro Ikr it’s the exact same plot hah

    • @eloravanderwal7724
      @eloravanderwal7724 4 года назад +4

      Lmao that’s what I was thinking

    • @fruittypun799
      @fruittypun799 4 года назад +4

      Really? What part of it?

    • @magster9338
      @magster9338 4 года назад +1

      Lmao I was about to comment that 😂

    • @moomiira
      @moomiira 4 года назад +17

      idk which kung fu panda you watched but last time i checked, po didnt have to feel up some1's tiddies to be a ninja

  • @elisa.alexander
    @elisa.alexander 2 года назад +7

    So my name is Elisa, but because of the way Kurtis says “Elise Estrada” instead of the just “Elise,” the beginning of Estrada makes it sound like an ‘a’ at the end and I feel so much secondhand flattery it’s actually great. Like thanks dude, I was born in Boston but sure I’ll be a Canadian Queen:3

  • @EllaAlaina
    @EllaAlaina 2 года назад +6

    I’ve seen this video multiple times thinking that this movie was before the HSM franchise but no it was right after. He could’ve went on to way better things but I guess not 😭

  • @ghoulthefool4596
    @ghoulthefool4596 4 года назад +9575

    ah, kurtis lake. my favorite place to visit in kurtistown

    • @chupawup4517
      @chupawup4517 4 года назад +288

      Ah to sit in kurtis park on a warm day and take a trip kurtis market just before going home to switch on kurtis news on kurtis tv.

    • @theelectricant98
      @theelectricant98 4 года назад +110

      you wouldnt understand. its a kurtsi thing

    • @eid6584
      @eid6584 4 года назад +144

      We need merch of a t shirt with a map of kurtistown with kurtis lake on it

    • @yaelgarcia7018
      @yaelgarcia7018 4 года назад +85

      L _ ya know my favorite place in kurtistown is probably yee yee university

    • @thanksman4897
      @thanksman4897 4 года назад +108

      Kurtis lake was where I baptized my two children, Kurtis and Kurtis. They grow up so fast here in Kurtis town. They start YYU tomorrow *sheds a kurtis tear*

  • @alyssabrookeg17
    @alyssabrookeg17 3 года назад +6154

    “somewhere in asia” okay, i think it’s safe to say that they’re in kazakhstan

    • @smwhtok
      @smwhtok 3 года назад +528

      Nah, I’m pretty sure they’re in Russia

    • @californium-2526
      @californium-2526 3 года назад +379

      Are you kidding me?! You know that they're also in Anatolia and parts of Azerbaijan, right?!

    • @JacobPDeIiNoNi
      @JacobPDeIiNoNi 3 года назад +350

      Bruh they're obviously at the bottom of Lake Baikal smh

    • @vinylcreeks
      @vinylcreeks 2 года назад +225

      Nah im pretty sure they are in mongolia

    • @rhubarbdude3347
      @rhubarbdude3347 2 года назад +151

      Idk man, looks like Belarus to me

  • @hopepapernacky
    @hopepapernacky 2 года назад +11

    I think the animated segments are surprisingly well made.

  • @yourlocalkpopstan.934
    @yourlocalkpopstan.934 Год назад +17

    6:55
    kurtis, my guy, that whole song was ryan getting chad to dance. he spent a good 4 minutes convincing the jocks that they can dance.
    so kurtis, get your high school musical shit together please

  • @XiaoIsMyHusbandBTW
    @XiaoIsMyHusbandBTW 3 года назад +2242

    “ *Booby make me strong* “ the movie

    • @Fernisawake
      @Fernisawake 3 года назад +19

      Factually correct
      Booby makes me strong

    • @zoedaly5703
      @zoedaly5703 3 года назад +78

      "No mommy, I love booby!"
      - Jarvis Johnson, 2020

    • @liahamilton8931
      @liahamilton8931 2 года назад +10

      I believe Albert Einstein said that first

    • @scene.g0re
      @scene.g0re 2 года назад +6

      @@zoedaly5703 oml I remember dying from that. Please come to my funeral

    • @supervegito8340
      @supervegito8340 2 года назад +2

      Cu Chuliann to his wife:

  • @DapperJazz
    @DapperJazz 3 года назад +2344

    “If you’re gonna have a main character don’t give him a rat tail.”
    Anakin: **Sweating**

    • @blokvader8283
      @blokvader8283 2 года назад +46

      Ikr, that's every Padawan

    • @ariellemarie6645
      @ariellemarie6645 2 года назад +113

      That’s the only acceptable rat tail cause Anakin was hot.

    • @gingergamer3270
      @gingergamer3270 2 года назад +5

      He really should stay away from lava then (because of the sweating). I'll see myself out, stop booing

    • @ironmaster6496
      @ironmaster6496 2 года назад +18

      yet the moment he cut it off he bacame evil...HMMMMMM

    • @SlimThief
      @SlimThief Год назад

      ​@@gingergamer3270 I will not stop booing

  • @brownishblue
    @brownishblue 2 года назад +12

    The property brother being in this was the last straw and got me laughing so hard :D

  • @starshine5812
    @starshine5812 Год назад +3

    not to nitpick but ryan's role in "i dont dance" was to tell corbin bleu's character "yes you can" whilst dancing and plaing baseball

  • @katereagon4299
    @katereagon4299 4 года назад +861

    Why is no one questioning how the baby survived after being yeeted into the water?

    • @zoelor7923
      @zoelor7923 4 года назад +12

      animu logic

    • @93londongirl
      @93londongirl 4 года назад +3

      😂😂😂😂

    • @geegeezlouis86
      @geegeezlouis86 4 года назад +92

      The baguette soaked up the water keeping him dry pls learn a science before you make these kind of ignorant comments thanks

    • @caravanpalace4368
      @caravanpalace4368 4 года назад +12

      Have u ever heard of Moses smh

    • @bippurr1736
      @bippurr1736 4 года назад +11

      Yeah and why the hell was the BABY in a CHEST

  • @audrey6643
    @audrey6643 4 года назад +4378

    Kurtis really does look dead inside every time he gives the extra greeting

    • @cyanide_lollipop3264
      @cyanide_lollipop3264 4 года назад +121

      He secretly hates his subs.

    • @rrtttln9884
      @rrtttln9884 4 года назад +196

      Just like he said, now he feels like he has to do it
      He's like forced to do it because otherwise the comment section would go wild in a negative way

    • @theravenpirate4744
      @theravenpirate4744 4 года назад +5

      Audrey wait? What extra greeting

    • @cyanide_lollipop3264
      @cyanide_lollipop3264 4 года назад +52

      @@rrtttln9884 If the absence of his traditional greeting has a negative emotional effect on anyone, it's because they're morons. Lol

    • @tei4724
      @tei4724 4 года назад +6

      It's kinda like PhillyD with the throat punch thing.

  • @drebe96
    @drebe96 2 года назад +14

    Once you said a property brother was in the movie, I knew this movie couldn’t get weirder 💀

  • @thefilmschlock
    @thefilmschlock 2 года назад +5

    I would like to add that David Hasselhoff is contractually obligated to sing a song every time he’s in a movie. Also, Hooked on a Feeling and David Hasselhoff? Guardians reference

  • @juliejackson557
    @juliejackson557 4 года назад +438

    "hey property brother!
    women ain't property.....
    BROTHER"
    I frickin cackled

  • @leahbobeaa
    @leahbobeaa 3 года назад +8287

    Kurtis: I started saying that intro as a joke, and now I can never stop
    The citizens of Kurtistown: Except for that ONE time

    • @shay2218
      @shay2218 3 года назад +188

      I will always remember that moment where I thought... “Did he not do a second greeting?” And now it’s the stuff of legend.

    • @Thaghettosprincess
      @Thaghettosprincess 3 года назад +28

      Me! When he didn’t say it that one time it hurt my heart ❤️ lol

    • @thepeepeepoopooman5612
      @thepeepeepoopooman5612 3 года назад +9

      What video was that?

    • @leahbobeaa
      @leahbobeaa 3 года назад +17

      @@thepeepeepoopooman5612 I wish I could remember lol, I think it was before the pandemic tho.
      Just had to ask because of your name, do you watch CallMeKevin?

    • @Rosia4309
      @Rosia4309 2 года назад +36

      Except for those TWO times

  • @kiwitheparakeettiger1277
    @kiwitheparakeettiger1277 2 года назад +23

    10:42 virginja

  • @kamyaverse
    @kamyaverse 2 года назад +4

    its funny because the villain background story of doctor strange is just dancing ninja with a bigger budget,better lines,less horniness and more magic

  • @roria2219
    @roria2219 4 года назад +13402

    You know what Kurtis? It's very good to see *YOU* again.

    • @Plsdontlook
      @Plsdontlook 4 года назад +326

      roria •ᴗ• fucking tell him !

    • @pornesianparapio5145
      @pornesianparapio5145 4 года назад +247

      Jack Barnes // Yeah, now he has to suscribe to you roria

    • @hussammustafa5267
      @hussammustafa5267 4 года назад +165

      I'm getting Keanu Reeves vibes

    • @cheshiregerena3060
      @cheshiregerena3060 4 года назад +175

      Next video we should mob the comments greeting him

    • @symlees3357
      @symlees3357 4 года назад +27

      @@cheshiregerena3060 yes

  • @aurorajenkins444
    @aurorajenkins444 4 года назад +5794

    “women ain’t property, brother”
    subscribed.

    • @lemoncholy3264
      @lemoncholy3264 4 года назад +247

      Aurora Jenkins congrats :) you now get an extra greeting

    • @nothinghappens9811
      @nothinghappens9811 4 года назад +50

      That won me over as well.

    • @HazeLmao
      @HazeLmao 4 года назад +105

      Ikr finally a youtuber without slaves! i’m so tired of finding a new youtuber only to discover they have multiple women being kept as property!

    • @blaseentertainment8863
      @blaseentertainment8863 4 года назад +49

      Haze IKR, this ALWAYS happens.

    • @neafeels3116
      @neafeels3116 4 года назад +36

      I read this as “women ain’t property,brother subscribed” and got really confused

  • @squilliamfancysoniii
    @squilliamfancysoniii 2 года назад +12

    7:28 Me practicing my instrument by playing video games and wondering why I'm still not getting better

  • @margiet748
    @margiet748 2 года назад +8

    I love how the “somewhere in Asia” has a mix of Chinese, Korean, and Japanese characters on the street signs just to hit all the three “Asian countries”

    • @ninar9664
      @ninar9664 Год назад +1

      There’s more then 3 Asian countries or are you saying the creators don’t know that and we’re like “let’s just get all three cuz we don’t know anything about Asia”

  • @genoswest7253
    @genoswest7253 4 года назад +338

    this movie: Japanese ninjas, Chinese culture, and Korean text/props.
    also this movie: all asians are the same.

    • @Sweetpicklehater
      @Sweetpicklehater 4 года назад +6

      Genos West it feels like the director of this movie plays with lego ninjago

  • @zolengeb.7629
    @zolengeb.7629 4 года назад +1393

    Hold on. Ninjas are Japanese, but all the actors seem to have a Chinese facial structure, and all the signs on the set are in Korean...?

    • @eelsallad333
      @eelsallad333 4 года назад +244

      uh yea hence why its "somewhere in asia"

    • @vivirights7871
      @vivirights7871 4 года назад +118

      We love inconstancy

    • @ef4253
      @ef4253 4 года назад +9

      TheEdgySunflower JHOOOOOOPE

    • @rebelrot9398
      @rebelrot9398 4 года назад +8

      yeah it's SOMEWHERE IN ASIA

    • @PinkBubbleMartini
      @PinkBubbleMartini 4 года назад +3

      @@ef4253 Eyyy someone gets the joke

  • @victorialam9044
    @victorialam9044 2 года назад +4

    I love how I recognise the actor of Ryan’s Dad, he is a very famous actor and film producer guy in Hong Kong

  • @leahelizabeth7861
    @leahelizabeth7861 4 года назад +541

    ok i LOST IT when one of the actors was a property brother... like WHAT IS THIS MOVIE LMFAO